Hooray for Quantum Leap!! The source of all good things!

I started reading this when you first starting posting but then I lost track. Sorry. But I just finshed it and i loved it. I hope to see more stories from you soon.

I was doing a lot of sighing and awwing and clutching my hands to my chest in this chapter. I wondered how you'd finish without a sense of anticlimax, but you kept the bittersweet tension until right at the end. And Marie *did* just have to believe it herself. She had to know it deep in her bones. Logan got there first, and he was there for her. It was very sweet - she unearthed him, and then he was the rock for her. It was made explicit with the symbolism of his claws - physical - and then she has to make that leap of faith. She knows - in *his* bones. :D

I think this may be my favorite chapter in terms of writing and descriptions. It *flowed*, for lack of a better word, and it was very visual.

He turns to look at me, his face still that unnerving calm. He fingers one of my platinum locks and tucks it away behind my ear. “Ya always looked so pretty with your hair piled up on top of ya head in that bun. Even when the wisps of gray would fall loose like they always did.”
My heart melted.

Logan was finally remembering things that were at least real, real bits and pieces of his past. They were a part of him again and hopefully their revelation would lead to more.

But what about me?
Yes, her desperation and uncertainty came through in words and in deeds - clutching the shirt, studying him. And it was like she reading his face, focusing only on him because if it was ok for him, it might be ok for her - until it wasn't, not quite enough. Because what if his past wasn't also *hers*? What if she wasn't the love of his life that he made a family with? Jealousy, right there. And what's more - what if she was his descendant? *shudder* She was finally honest with herself that she wanted him "as a woman loves a *man*", but what if that wasn't possible? Or enough?

I don’t know if it was the gaping hole that opened up under my nose or the clattering of utensils that caught his attention first.
At least he had the common decency not to belly-laugh at me; I’m sure I must have looked like a prize Bass on the end of a hook. Haha! Marie is given to hypberbole about herself. She comes off as almost aggressively flippant when she's insecure: "“Logan, I got a part of me screaming for us to get on with it and another part that’s hiding in a dark corner, refusing to come out!” But Logan calms her down, and if she just takes a nice breather, like that five minutes outside the Professor's door, she can handle anything.

I liked Alma. I myself am extremely cautious about OC, and Alma did rather function as a deus ex machina. But in its own way *that* worked as well - you needed something to branch the supernatural (Jean Marie/Marie, dreams) and extremely natural/practical world of this fic, and Alma did precisely that. She had elements of the everyday (the flight) and of the extraordinary (her leprechaunish appearance).

Looking back over the fic, I can see you struggle a little with pacing, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but I think that comes from writing a fic along the way. You got better at it as well, and wrapped up this chapter, this story, really well. I was engaged the entire chapter.

Marie and Logan had story arcs as well - Logan was a lot more volatile and Marie more introverted when the story began. But their transformations make sense, too - love. *grins* And I love how much they love each other in this chapter. It goes deeper than friendship.

Thanks so much for sharing! Enjoyed the ride immensely. ;)

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much for the wonderful words of encouragement, your beautiful insights, and peeks into what feelings *my* writing evoked in you. I never much thought about what others might think of my ramblings, I pretty much write what I like. But nice comments and constructive criticism are good to get also...and you do both!!

Thanks so much GM; I always looked forward to your comments!

That is just cruel.. how could you leave it there? I need more, MORE I tell you!!
I like it, its really good. I loved the bit with Logan and the bike that kept taking camping trips with Marie. But you know you have to post more of it, like now. Right now.

Author's Response: Just for you, PF, do I add a new chapter! Well, not really, you just happened to demand a new chappie just as I was finishing up my mutant research; but go ahead and lay claim to getting me off my butt if ya wanna - I won't tell anybody different!

What?! How could you do that to me? AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

*huffs* Fine. End it on a cliffhanger. See if I care. :P

The emotion in this one was really honest, and Marie & Logan here are so alike. They're both a lot of bluster and bark on the surface but soft and hesitant underneath. It's so sweet. I also think you made a strategically good decision by putting the humor at the front of the fic but dropping it as the emotions ran deeper and became more sweet. Also technically (although I am eyeing you narrowly), the cliffhanger worked well at the end because it offset some of the sweetness.

Small quibble: I know it's common, especially in X-men fic. But it's usually not necessary to do use symbols for thoughts in any fic. There are ways of writing thoughts so it is obvious who has them (the symbols don't provide that information anyway), and it becomes part of your writing style. Symbols can be distracting.

However, you did have a complicated POV situation for this fic, and maybe that's why you decided to use them. You not only switched from his POV to hers you also included third person omniscient here: Sure, they were good friends, hung out together, shared lots of good times. He knew she worried over him like a mother hen, but couldn’t see anything beyond that. Even when everyone in the mansion knew, if you messed with one you were messing with them both. This fact was one of the first things new residents were informed of, right after the grand tour and before room assignment. This is information known neither to Marie nor Logan. And...the changing POVs make this chapter a little awkward. (It's all understandable, just a little choppy.) I actually think there's a way to convey this information without resorting to a third person omniscient's voice, because it's not beyond belief that Logan or Rogue could be aware of their own reputations. Or that some other behavior could indicate their close but undefined relationship.

But those are just small things - easily fixed. (And a beta would also help with other small things like typos and tense changes and run-ons.)

These were my favorite lines:
Marie, ya know I’m not comfortable with letting my emotions out, ‘cause when I do, they always seem to be bad ones, and they end up just flooding out, uncontrolled.
aw...and so true for Logan, IMO.

Logan begins to noticeably tense, he suddenly can’t or won’t meet Marie’s eyes, a faded spot on his jeans is all at once, more interesting to him, and receives almost all his attention and concentration.
Love that moment. Such a contrast to what went before that the heart skips. :D

Also - 'tizzy', 'Toastmaster Master of Ceremonies', and 'hellbent on the destruction of my room'? *lol*

Author's Response: So glad you liked this chappie, GM. I hemmed and hawed for a week, reading and re reading it, deciding if I couldn't end it a different way. I'm really glad it got to you! I was afraid it was gonna end up corny, with the other cliffies I did.

Yeah, the POVs are what drove me the most nuts I think. I had so much I wanted to put in here, and I totally suck at trying to get out of third person (see my 'Words Unspoken' duet). I tried to do just dialogue, like I did in the middle of chapter 10, but I just couldn't get it to my liking. I honestly thought about dropping you a line and asking if you'd look it over. I'd be very curious about your ideas for dropping the third person. Did I have a lot of typos? I try hard to catch them all. And yeah, run-ons, I'm probably the run-on queen!

This isn't the end of the story, I'm planning on at least one more chapter - the 'happily ever after' chappie! *grin*

Poor forgetful Logan. He might want to take Xavier up on his offer, though. Cuz maybe he can't remember because they aren't REAL memories, it never happened. Rogue is just doctoring photos and making fake documents to get same ass! "See! We're DESTINED to be together!" Ya know, a damn fine piece like him has to watch out for stuff like that... :D

Author's Response: Oh! You are an evil, evil person, Rou! (drums fingers on desk) Hmmm, I 'spose I could forego the plot line I was considering......but, nah! I couldn't do that to Wolvie, such a damn fine piece like him deserves the real thing, not a made up bunch of lies, he's had a hard enough life as it is. 'Sides, that would just add more plot and I can't handle giving that damn bunny MORE crap to work with! As it is, he's sat up on my head, beating me with his carrot! I may not like wild game, but I'm looking up recipes for hasenpfeffer for when this fic is done!!

...did Logan just call me an asshole? O.o

Author's Response: Not you personally, Rou, just whoever happens to be listening to him ;p

Oh this chapter was just to shiny for words.

Please, please post more soon! *offers chocolate*

Author's Response: I am a serious writer and am appalled at the notion that I could be bought with bribes such as mere chocolate!! (But if you up the ante to say.....some chocolate covered Logan, I'll see what I can do about lighting a fire under my muse for chapter 13!!) ;o)

Author's Response: I am a serious writer and am appalled at the notion that I could be bought with bribes such as mere chocolate!! (But if you up the ante to say.....some chocolate covered Logan, I'll see what I can do about lighting a fire under my muse for chapter 13!!) ;o)

Oh this is getting good.

I've been looking forward to a new update on this fic.

I'm enjoying it greatly.

I luv obtuse Logan! *giggles*

Author's Response: The trouble with obtuse Logan is he's so darn easy to write!! He's such a guy, ya know? So easy to abuse like that!! Plus, it's fun to do that to him!

Ooooh, this is such an interesting idea for a fic. I dream pretty vividly, too, but I've never dreamt up a whole story. Wow! :D
I love it so far, but I'm only on chapter 4; so if you're already done--awesome job! If not--keep up the great work!
I can't wait to get back to the story. This is so exciting! :D

Oh, don't worry about your story summaries! I suck at them, too. And titles. But people aren't judging them - it's just a quick little 'there' so you know what you're getting into, the type of fic. But shorter is best - we're all skimming. :) I think the two sentences you have after the disclaimer work well.

Now - onto the story. I really enjoyed this, especially as the chapters progressed. Probably because I've done that kind of research, I loved Rogue's time in the library and the archives, finding out information on the family tree, digging up relatives and yearbook photos. I thought you described the high you get from that well - and the delight - and the speculation: what was he like? What did his friends call him? Did he have a girlfriend? All really true, and I think this version of Logan is fascinating. I can picture him. *bunnies dancing about* :)

But my favorite chapter was this Xavier chapter. I liked his 'little smile' like he gets a high from reading minds. I loved Rogue's paranoia, how that wasn't really appeased because he kept trying to reassure her while reading her thoughts. Heh. Unintentional comedy.

But I also loved that the professor *knew*. I see this getting really interesting now. Is the professor right? Is Logan suppressing these memories for a reason? Or is the professor up to some nefarious plot of his own - because he came off like a fatherly benefactor *and* a little control-freak-y. I love that you don't really answer that question.

And now I can't wait to hear what Rogue does. Because I think Logan could react a variety of ways to this information. The secrecy, the knowing, and the not knowing. And if he really is suppressing a horrible past, WHAT IS IT? And if she decides, like the professor, not to let him know, even if it's for his own good, what will that do to their tentative relationship? What will his knowing that she dug up ANY part of his life do? He's a private man. It was behind his back.

*intrigue* Good job. As I say - especially this last chapter.

Author's Response: Good gawd, Gamma!! You always manage to see more than even I do, and I'm writing the damn thing!! I always love your FB, so much really useful stuff, even when your giving criticism, it's ALWAYS constructive.
I'm the unofficial genealogist of the family, so I know first hand the thrill of "the hunt", I'm glad it showed thru in the library setting.
As for the Prof and his convo w/Rogue, this whole story is just sort of writing itself! That whole chapter wasn't even a spark in my head until I laid my fingers on the keyboard...it just all sort of spilled out!
Now I'm all nervous, wanting to live up to your expectations! I was gonna have chapter 5 end it, but you've got my brain workin' overtime now, dammit! I guess, though, I'll just put my hands on the keys again and see what happens, it hasn't done me wrong yet!

Again, thanks for the FB!

This is good, add more please.