The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Wow, that was hot and heavy and angsty, really great!
They really hurt each other so much in this one it was almost painful to read (that's a good thing!).. Logan effectively laughing at her for thinking she's what's keeping him there yet trying to get her to have sex with him anyway, and her telling him how she knows all his past actions and making him feel like shit 'cause he knows he's done sick twisted things that he can't even hide from her 'cause she's seen it all.
I can only assume he left after that, but dying to see why he's back and what's going to happen next..
Oh, and how Did he feel about Jean then if he claims she doesn't know what she's talking about yet she's got memories of him lusting after her, etc, and he said (in his thoughts) he killed her out of love. Is he trying to lie to Marie about Jean? I hope he has to explain everything to her.
Re the writing there were just a couple of things that jumped out at me..
1) when Marie resumes reminiscing she thinks "Speaking of things which were good about Logan, Logan tossed her head back a little and started thinking about their steamy encounter last year. She wondered if he ever thought it about it too…"
and then proceeds to remember the painful ending rather than good things, so that was odd. Also, you wrote Logan instead of Rogue ^^
2. The paragraph where Logan thinks about why Rogue stopped him:
"Logan sat regarding her for a moment, he admired that she would stop something he knew she wanted.. "
This paragraph really bugs me for some reason. At first I thought it was because you were spelling things out to us in his thoughts, but then I re-read and noticed that after this you also have various paragraphs were Rogue spells her thoughts out, so it can't have been that. I think it's because in His thoughts we're being told what Rogue did / why she did it, and he can't know, so that just feels wrong.
Author's Response: August Dawn my dear your reviews reflect your pen name perfectly. Let me explain, I find dawn to be one of most sedate and beautiful times of day, especially in the summer when almost every day is sunny and the light at that time is unusually golden, from my location. However, even though dawn is wonderful, it only lasts for so long, before the sun rises completely and the day continues. Now in August, the sun is scorching, I've had days where i live that have gone up to 98 degrees and usually the hottest and most unpleasant weather comes in August, and it is here that I find your reviews to mirror your pen name perfectly. See in the beginning of every review you always leave a tid bit of a nice information, something you liked and it's very pleasent to see just like the sun rising. Then at the end of the review you always slide in a little criticism and ironically enough it always rivals your compliments in length or comes out about equal. rnrnI love reading your reviews, you're one of the few people who actually properly reviews because so many people just write "that was good" or "keep it up" which doesn't provide and real substance for the author, but your reviews do. I don't mean for this comparison to shock you as insulting, I'm just appreciating the irony of your pen name and way the you review, I'm glad I've snagged such an insightful reader and thank you for your advice. rnrnrnOh before i forget! 1) Good catch, did write Logan instead of Rogue when I said she tossed her head back and was reminiscing but the flashback isn't over yet, so she wasn't just remembering a painful ending. I'm just trying to seize your previous advice about not making an 11 paragraph story filled with flashback information, I want the details to unfold naturally, it's important to the way I've formulated future chapters-sorta, I'm not sure how to explain it in a terse way without spoiling my to-be-plot. But there's a final installment of that flashback, things didn't just end that way between them and now he's back, I didn't think they'd be realistically on cordial terms if they had ended that way. rnrn2. The part about her stopping something, he knew she wanted, well he knows she wants it because he smells her arousal, and he can hear her heart beating unevenly and see he's affecting her. However, I wanted to clarify and I'm actually glad you brought this to my attention b.c I can be more careful about it in the future, sometimes when Logan is speculating about Marie's behavior he thinks he knows EXACTLY what she is doing and why and he's usually, for the sake of this story, going to be wrong. I want my Marie to be chuck full of surprises for good ol' Logan so there will be times when he gets the rug pulled out from under him and there will be times when he does have the right idea, but hey those are yet to come-thanks again for the review!