That's sad. Telling her she'll be an alpha female 'one day'. If he told me that I wouldda thrown a bitch fit and told him that I was the Alpha Female. Period.

But then again I am very feisty...

Hi Desy,

I know I've never reviewed and you shouldn't take that personally: I'm a really bad reader because I hardly ever review, even though I enjoy the stuff I read. I should also mention that I almost never rate things, so don't panic when I don't rate yours either :-)

Since you seem so discouraged in your Author's Note, I thought I would just let you know that I really do like your story's premise. Sometimes I find your pacing a little slow because I think you get bogged down in details and description a little.

Still, I think I would not really notice that if the story flowed better for me. I get hung up on your grammar and spelling errors, mostly because I notice *every single one* because that's what I do for my job: I'm an editor.

So I know you probably hate me right now, but I think I have some good news. Most of your issues would probably be solved by finding yourself a beta reader or two whose first language is English, because they will catch the things you miss. For example, your syntax is often backwards for English, probably because you're German or Dutch or Danish or something.

There are many people on the site who would probably be happy to help you with that, especially if it meant they got updates that much sooner :-)

I like the interactions between the couple and the other X-men, but I sometimes feel like you don't flesh that out enough from the X-men's point of view, only giving Marie and Logan's. The different reactions of the different X-men was interesting, though, especially how Jean started to meddle, where Scott just disapproved and Ororo seemed to hold off on judgment. The professor's refusal to explain what he saw in Marie and Logan's minds to make the situation easier for everyone was very like him, I thought, and Marie and Logan's refusals to elaborate to the others was also very characteristic.

This last conversation between Logan and Marie seemed unfinished, though. Maybe because we're not privy to Logan's inner thoughts during it, the way we seem to be a bit more with Marie? I always thought that Logan was a very internal character, because he says so little in words, but quite a bit through body language and his reactions to others, and you just *know* that there's a whole lot going on behind behind those hazel eyes, especially considering the Wolverine, too.

Okay, I think that's it. I hope this review helps you.

Melanie

Author's Response: Thank you very much especially for this very long review! You're right with your assumption, I'm German. I'm sorry that my mistakes pop into your eyes right away and lessen your fun at reading my story - I'm also quite picky about those little errors in German stories (I stopped reading fanfiction in German years ago) and can understand you completely. It's the same with some English first language writers, who don't seem to know the difference in your/you're, there/their and even our/own?!? (this one was no typo - it went on through the entire story), those little mistakes are for me like blinking in rainbow-colors - I can't oversee them.
So I don't hate you, but I'm glad about your open criticism. I saw on your profile page that you're a beta-reader. Would you help me with my story, please?
Concerning the other X-Men: I'll bring more inner thoughts and also action towards the couple in the next few chapters (I hope you don't like Jean). So thanks again!

I've really been enjoying your story and look forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks :-)

Its not that I didn't like the chapter. I did like it for the most part, actually. It just seemed like Logan was saying that he cares more about looks than inner maturity. It made is seem like Logan preferred Jean over Marie even if it was only sexually. I don't like it when Logan prefers anyone over Marie in any way.

Author's Response: It is quite hard to don't let Logan look like a pedophile (I don't like that thought at all). I'm watching quite often some Rogan music-videos and there you'll see clearly the child-like appearance of Marie in X1 and the more mature looking Marie in X2. I don't say that Logan doesn't think her attractive, but her appearance reminds him about her youth and that she needs to grow up (emotionally) and enjoy her teen-years. I think he wants what's the best for her, since he truly loves her for who she is (I don't think she has already developed her 'inner maturity' yet). And back to the Jean-topic: I don't like her at all (and Logan and everyone else WILL see what a bitch she really is and hate her - I have some plans with her), but I want to stay in character as much as possible with my stories and Logan is no saint - especially the animal-part of him should have the urge to mate with as many attractive woman as possible. And just because his relationship with Marie had shifted a little since they have a daughter together doesn't mean that he shrugged off his former life-style from one moment to the next, neither his thinking about other women.

Ok That was interesting. I don't like it that Logan doesn't consider Marie a worthy mate yet. Seriously what if something happened and she absorbed his healing for good and she never aged again. Would Logan hold her youthful looks against her and leave her for a more mature looking woman. This chapter made Logan's acceptance of Marie as a mate and life partner all about how old she looks. I don't like that. It also made is seem like Logan prefers Jean as a sexual partner until Marie looks older. Don't like that either. This story is getting kind long with no real change to show for it. I am getting bored with 29 chapters and we still aren't really in a different place than when we were at in chapter 2. Its well written and I like the story but I find my self thinking "move it along"

Author's Response: Sorry that you didn't like this chapter. I intended to show that Logan is aware of Marie's youth - she had been through a lot since her mutation kicked in and has now a lot of responsibility with her baby. I think Logan would have wanted her to emotional grow up and enjoy her childhood first (and catch up the time she lost while traveling alone on the road). She should first find her own place in 'society' and 'steady and develop' her character (kinda heal from her emotional roller coaster and traumas), before he would take their relationship to a new stage, she wasn't yet ready for - then again Becca's arrival twisted this plan. Logan feels/knows that Marie has a lot of potential to be a strong and independent woman and just needs time and support to grow. (IMO) Concerning Jean: of course he thinks Jean attractive and would jump her bones (ok, maybe now not any more), but he would have done any beautiful woman (he wouldn't had stopped Patty the slut in the last chapter if he hadn't Becca). We're talking about Logan here...rnBeginning with the next chapter, time will move much faster and I would be happy to hear from you again.

I liked this one very much. It was great and totally appropriate for Marie to want to toss the info back at Jean, the meddling PIA. And her feelings of not measuring up are understandable too. Love how Logan set her straight, noting that she's got a lot of growing up to do, with that hint of "who knows" thrown in.

Author's Response: Thanks :-)