The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
[Report This]Date: 09/20/2011 3:10:41 AM Title: Chapter 2
I just realized that I only reviewed Chapter 1, so here, have some more stars. :)
I like that you're not beating us over the head with lablablab but rather getting the X-Men into position. There's only so much pain and suffering I feel like reading, even if it even Marie's story.
[Report This]Date: 07/08/2011 10:09:29 AM Title: Chapter 2
So many juicy lines, snippets that line up exactly what the school has become since the loss of Jean and Scott. So perfectly worded. You still get me with a few zingers - there's a lot of them actually - but this one really made me laugh:
...a few rounds with one cage, two bottles, and three women.
Ain't that just him, though? So brilliantly written, and I wouldn't worry too much about chapter lengths (My fic is all OVER the place), you know when it's a good place to break off and start a new one. Like Jaq said, I am usually a few chapters ahead and after tinkering a bit with them, I start chopping off where and when they start and stop. Not that you need any advice, you are by far, a highly accomplished writer!
No worries in regards to your end notes - personally, I enjoy the more mature (and don't read that to only mean smutty) where the human condition is really explored. To me, it's all part and parcel of what life is full of.
You did an awesome job with fleshing out the characters - I already care so much for them! I am flinging tons of stars at you and "jonesing" for your next chapter! :)
[Report This]Date: 07/08/2011 10:04:20 AM Title: Chapter 2
Wow. The first chapter piqued my interest. But this one absolutely blew me away. I can't tell you the number of lines that drew a smile to my face, but especially these two: "While during the school year, he was perpetually annoyed, during the summer months, he was only inclined towards annoyance." and "gauging Kurt's emotions was about like contemplating the contents of a blueberry pie."
You've got a devoted reader here. I like this cocky, snarky, sarcastic Logan. Fun times! If the story stays this good, I'll even grit my teeth through a little femmeslash, heh ;)
[Report This]Date: 07/08/2011 4:38:55 AM Title: Chapter 2
This is a great chapter, really has me hooked. Your scene with Logan, Colossus and the runts was incredibly visual and the dialogue was perfect.
Lots of great lines too ... " While during the school year, he was perpetually annoyed, during the summer months, he was only inclined towards annoyance", just sums up Logan SO perfectly - I started cackling away. (Enough to make my husband look up from the Tour de France highlights!!!) "defence AND offence classes" ... same!
Don't worry too much about your word lengths - 1000 words is short, yes, but if you feel you need to write that, that the chapter stops there naturally, stop. Forcing it doesn't work. Similarly, if you want to write 5000 words, write that. Once things are flowing, its the story that counts.
A lot of writers actually like to have a few chapters up their sleeve, and that means you have the freedom to massage where one chapter ends and the next starts if doesn't feel right on the reread.
Happy writing, I'm really looking forward to more of this!