Strength by Joanne
Summary: Marie gets herself lost and finds what she's really made of.
Categories: AU Characters: None
Genres: Drabble, Friendship, Shipper
Tags: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: Tarot Series
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2164 Read: 2079 Published: 06/07/2007 Updated: 06/07/2007

1. Strength by Joanne

Strength by Joanne
Author's Notes:
Marie gets herself lost and finds what she's really made of.
'The strength in your hand is nothing,
Compared to the strength of your soul...'

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Marie had gotten herself sorted out, after Logan had left she'd gone to the local police station, told them that she'd walked into town after being robbed of her truck. Someone had taken pity on her and left her a room at the local motel, she'd described Logan to the police and they had looked at her askance for a few moments. Asked her if Logan had done anything to her, she'd replied no, he'd just helped her out and shown her the police station.

Soon she was filing bogus reports about a truck she'd owned, what had been in it and how she'd come north to find a new life and work only to have everythin stolen from her. It was lucky she'd kept most of her bank roll with her, which she showed the police removing the silver clip beforehand.

The first afternoon she'd spent getting her story put down on paper, the next day she'd been getting a new drivers license and truck. One of the policemen's wives had been trying to get rid of a truck, she wanted a new 4x4 and her hubby had been reluctant, that was until he'd been convinced to sell her the old truck and the insurance that still covered it. Within a day she had i.d and transport, she could go anywhere, do anything. That night she went back to the motel and slept in the same room that still smelled a little of Logan.

She didn't dream, all she did was sleep and this time her pillow was dry in the morning.

Today was the day she stopped existing, today she was going to make choices Logan would be proud of. She'd settled for something so much less than she'd deserved and she knew it.

When she appeared to the small populace people asked her if she had anyone they could contact for her, she almost answered 'yes', her hand ghosting over the number she had in her pocket. Shaking her head she'd just smiled and told them all she was alone in the world now, that was why she'd left home. It hadn't been home when the last person she'd cared about had gone.
The reaction that had instilled in the people around her shocked her, even her southern upbringing hadn't prepared her for the generosity that came her way.

Food was given over as were warm clothing for her journey, women who seemed to run the social hub of the small town appeared from nowhere. Everyone of them had something to give her, even if it was a small travel hairdryer or a package of toiletries. All of them gave her something, soon her truck was filled with the oddments of peoples homes. Things they no longer needed or wanted but were willing to pass on to someone who needed them more.

By the end of the second day she had everything she'd ever needed, her money was safe, her route had been mapped out by the police. Keeping her to the main roads, plus they'd radioed ahead for her, the state trooper who knew the vehicle she was driving would radio back when he saw her pass through letting them know she was safely on her way.
When she went back to the small motel room where Logan's scent had finally begun to fade her heart was filled again. Every single one of the people she'd interacted with had been honest and open with her. They were small town people, every single one of them had been in difficulty at one time or another. They pulled together, helped each other because it was what you *did*, not because it would earn you points in other peoples eyes.

She slept sound, once more in the bed that had held a piece of her that was now wandering around out there. Logan's number burned into her memory just in case she ever lost it. Curling into a ball Marie pulled the last few peices of Logan's scent out of the bedding around her, wrapping them into her heart. He was her strength, the piece of him she still carried in her blood was there with her still. His life flowed in her body and she'd make sure she lived upto it's potential. Tomorrow was her new start, her faith in humanity had been repaired by a gruff mutant killer and a community of normal humans, faults and all. Time for her to make a choice about who she really *was*.

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Marie was heading for Zanesville Ohio, it seemed an aptly named place for her to start looking at herself, she passed the state trooper and waved as he nodded at her. Her progress was radioed back and her heart would always feel safe in the small town halfway between New York and Lebanon Pennsylvania.

Her heart was mending but her mind was still thinking about what Logan had revealed to her. That Xaiver thought she was a threat to his world, that because she'd taken the cure that she was no longer a viable person. She'd have expected such a reaction from Erik but not her old tutor.
Yet as the miles went by she realised that things weren't as cut and dried as she'd wanted them to be. Logan for one, he came after her, showing her that he really did care for her. All the times she'd thought his love was only brotherly, his care something that he gave to everyone. Yet when she examined it it was the truth he'd spoken to her, he'd only begun to care when she'd shown him *how to*.

Her mind went back to the battle that had changed so much for her, the way he'd been trying to keep Kitty alive, showing that Kitty wasn't ready for the role Xavier had pushed her into. A fighter, a warrior, someone who strapped on leather to fight the injustices a world threw at those who were different. Logan had been fighting to keep her *alive*, while Scott and the rest of the team were focussed on Juggernaut. They were interested in saving property more than a team mates life. Sat behind the wheel her thoughts went along the lines of that reasoning, the maybe the appearance of the X-Men was more important than the lives they saved. She'd never actually questioned where and why they went to the aid of humanity, but you could bet your bottom dollar she would from now on. Logan was there, he was risking his life every time he went out with them.

Change came but the courage to do something about it when it came was something else entirely. She'd been given the best start she possibly could've, now she had to do something with it. Something her and Logan could build on, because it was their future she'd be building, with that thought keeping her warm as the September rain began to fall. Flicking on her wipers she pulled her mind to the task of driving she'd make Zanesville in six hours if she kept to her planned route.

Her strength had been augmented by the people who'd given to her of their own free will, that she was worth something in their eyes. It didn't matter what she was, human or mutant, all that had mattered was that she was in *need*. The world needed more people like those who'd helped her on her way, thing was they were a dying breed and she made her mind up to be everything she'd recieved today.
Open, honest, truthful and blunt, not to hide behind words that clouded the truth, to say what she meant and that meant owning upto why she'd left the school in the first place.

Clearing her throat to the world she opened her mouth, feeling stupid and idiotic the small little recorder that someone had pushed on her sat next to her. She'd make a record and she'd give them to Logan, let him hear them, so he knew what progress she was making. This one would be the hardest, the first of anything usually was.
"Hi Logan, Ah'm drivin toward Zanesville Ohio, yeah Ah know what a place to head for huh?" She paused and saw the little counter go down, it held nearly ten minutes of voice recording, enough to say what mattered and she cleared her throat and began again.

"Ah'm doin this so ya'll know how Ah'm doin', well right now Ah could do with some company but Ah'll cope. Ah got somewhere to go to, got transport and Ah'll make it when Ah get there. Just wanted you to know why Ah left in the first place Logan, why Ah left Xaviers. It's time for me to face upto what Ah did and why." Her skin was blushing furiously and she was glad it wasn't recording her reactions to her own words.

"Ya'll remember the Valentine's Ball? The way everyone was *so* lookin' forward to it, even you a little Ah think." Her smile found it's way into her words and she felt the memory unfold, wrapping her up in it's embrace as she described her feelings.

"Ya looked so good that day, Ah mean Ah'm only human too sugar and when ya walked into that ballroom dressed in black Ah swear we all heard the hearts breakin', mine included. Especially when you headed for Jean, makin a beeline for her an pushing Scott out of the way. Ah was still gloved up that day, wrapped head to toe in cloth. An that was the day Ah decided, Ah was goin to be able to touch ya, even if Ah couldn't hold ya like Jean could Ah could still have ya hug me once without cloth in between us." Tears were flowing along with her words and she realised so much was coming out with the truth. So much more than she realised was coming out with each sentence.

"So Ah left, Ah took the injection, stood in line and signed my name on the dotted line, became a traitor for touch, to have what Ah'd already had if Ah'd been brave enough to take it. If Ah could've had the courage to walk across that floor that night Ah'd still be with ya, wouldn't Ah? Maybe not, Ah needed to get away from there, from everyone that kept me at an arms distance. Thing was it kept you from me too, Ah never knew how much that would hurt till Ah saw you again. Ya'll was always a wanderer Logan an Ah thought it was just the same for me to go this time. It wasn't though was it? Back there Ah always knew you'd be back, an Ah could talk to you whenever Ah wanted to. Hell Ah had more of your time than anyone else ever did, till Ah just left you in the lurch."

The sudden implication of her choice of words had her hand hovering over the record button, should she wipe it and start again? Halting her hand she shook her head, no she'd be honest and that meant making mistakes and letting him see and hear them. "Good choice of words there huh?" She laughed into the warm air of the cab, "Ah couldn't leave you to fight alone Logan. Ah couldn't, everythin in me was screamin at me to go to you, to help you, to be with *you*. Ah can't explain it, hell even Ah don't know why it meant so much but it did. Ah needed you and Ah almost lost you, again." She swallowed her nerves and picked up the recorder bringing it closer to her lips, she needed to say this close to the mike as if saying it into the cab would weaken it somehow.
"Ah love you Logan, an Ah know how much that scares me as well as you. Hell Ah nearly let you leave me back in New York, Ah'm scared Logan but Ah'm gonna do this, Ah'm gonna build a life to be proud of an when your ready Ah want you with me, all of you, dreams, nightmares and all. Ah love ya you idiot, pity it took me so long to tell ya. I'll call ya soon, Marie."

She snapped off the recorder, the minutes left were numbered at 7.2. She'd poured her heart out in under three minutes, if only she'd had the strength to do that to his face six months ago she wouldn't be here right now. But maybe that was the point of all this, she'd had to know what she nearly lost so she could regain it. Pulling herself back together she switched on the radio in the cab and let the music pull her toward her goal. Satisfied she was making progress at last.
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