'You never realise what is lost
Until it is no longer there,
It is this reaction to the change,
That shows where your strength really lies.'

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Marie drove the first miles in a stony silence, the only break in the road noise was her son asking for food. When his cries became too much she pulled over and fed him, her fingers ghosting over his skin, reading his emotional state. He was cranky, he wanted his warm bed, his favourite smells around him as he slept, the warm fug of his fathers arms. It was that thought that made her tears trace down her skin, her son needed his father and he wasn't there. Xavier had stolen him from them both and she was determined to get him back. Just how she'd work out on the road, hell she'd been living with him for three years. Surely she'd have picked some ideas up from him, her own store of memories she still had weren't much but the ones she felt the most had been how much he'd loved her. How he'd needed their life together, the peace and quiet it gave to the darkest part of him. All of this had been snatched away from him and her, leaving their son to suffer.

Wiping her eyes she finished feeding him, put him in one of Logans shirts and bedded him down. She had a long way to go and she needed to be strong for the two of them. Before setting off again she read the road map, looking at the journey she had about a month of travel if she went slow. She only hoped Logan could hang on that long.

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Wood Buffalo - Canada
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Marie had bought stuff for their son in the small market, making sure she got a decent mix of fresh food and tinned baby food. For herself she bought a small scanner for the truck and a digital recorder. The recorder would burn to small discs (of which she had three) along with a charger so she could use it on the move.
Here the summer was still visable, the trees were just losing their spring green, settling into their deep summer colour. When she pulled herself back into the truck she fiddled with the scanner first, putting it under the dashboard. If there was trouble ahead she needed to avoid it and this little thing had been one thing the Logan in her head had advised her to buy.

Before she set off, she did her first recording, the oddity of it reminding her of the last time she'd done it. When he'd been so far away from her, by choice that time but now....that was a different matter altogether.

"Ah'm sat in Wood Buffalo, Ah know ya never wanted me to come down here again. To leave the settlement but Logan Ah *had* to, you can argue with me when Ah have you back with us." Her hand went out to their son who was napping in his fathers shirt, "He misses ya, when he went to sleep the first time he expected ya to come pick him up like ya always do. Nearly burst mah eardrums Ah can tell ya." Her chuckle was clouded with tears that were threatening to fall and she didn't bother to stop them.
"Ah'm coming to get ya Logan, we both are, ya see we need ya an if that means Ah have to touch every single person in there to get ya back Ah will. Ya shouldn't have trusted them sugar, ya should've run like the rest of us but Ah know why ya didn't. If ya had they'dve found *us*." Her hand gripped the small buttons on his shirt and she decided to change the tone of the recording.

"Ah'm followin a tourist route Logan, just in case, always plenty of rest stops an food. Ah'm bein' careful, using the cash we had saved up first, the other stuff Ah won't even touch till Ah hit the US."
Her hands went to the steering wheel and she fired the truck into life, it purred under her and a smile forced it's way onto her face.
"Remember how much you love this truck Logan, well sugar we're comin' to you an Ah want you to show me as good a time as ya did at the huntin' ground. An no excuses this time either, even if a bear *is* wantin' to come through the windscreen." She snapped off the recorder and switched on the radio, now she'd made her first recording she could set off. Knowing that he wasn't alone out there, he'd hear this eventually but for now she'd carry it to his ears.

Lloydminster - Canada
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"Now calm down ya little rug rat!" Her son had been getting a little more rambuncious every day on this trip. His little dark haired head would shift to the side refusing food from her hand. It had taken her dressing in one of Logan's shirts to coax him back to eating from her hand. She never realised how much he actually did with their son till she was doing it on her own.

Dressed in jeans, a light blue t-shirt and Logan's blue flannel she hip carried their son into the small diner. Bringing his bag of tricks with her, she'd gotten help to put him in a soft high chair. His bright eyes watching everything that passed him in his elevated position, that calmed him down a bit. As soon as she was settled the waitress came over to take their order. She ordered a huge lunch asking if they doggy bagged to which she got an 'of course we do darlin' how else do you get supper prepared?'
Smiling to herself she pulled out the small recorder and pushed the record button. Her eyes stuck on their son and his roving gaze.
"Logan Ah swear your son has your 'look' in his eye today, ya know the one, the one where all ya wanna do is cause someone pain? An boy is he doin it, pity there's only me to take it out on." She considered her words carefully before carrying on. "He's not that much of a burden to me Logan, just that Ah got used to havin' ya there ya know. Things were so much easier when ya'll was around, hell he was easier to handle when ya was around but he'll cope just like Ah will." She snapped off the recorder to see their waitress stood by the table, her order in her hand and a look of sympathy on her face. She didn't comment about what she'd heard but when she left the diner with her doggy bag there were a few small 'extra's' inside it.
A list of family friendly motels for one and a number of a woman's shelter the 24 hour line ringed in pen. She took her time setting off again, humanity had once again given her pause to thank her mutation was one that could be hidden. But somehow Marie knew that if she'd been scaled and had a blue skinned baby she'd have *still* gotten the same treatment and service she had. Canada so far had knocked spots off America, pity she had to go into the lions den. But as soon as it was over they'd be a family again and they'd be on the road again. Putting the truck into gear she set off, her son resting in his seat eyes watching the road. Facing the future no matter what it had to bring.

Lumsden (outskirts of Regina) - Canada
--------------------------------------

"Well here we are Logan, we're waitin' to see if the border situation gets any better. Ya see mah dual citizenship kinda makes it easy for me to get across but junior here....well thats where the shit kinda hits the fan." She blew out air as she tried to get her thoughts in order, the news about the border hadn't been very good to start with but she'd headed for it anyway. Now she was regretting her optimism, holding the recorder as she paced the room she'd rented for the week.
"Ya see the problem is this....Ah needed ya signature on the papers Ah have for me and the rugrat. Somethin' about not takin' kids over geographical borders without both parents consent. Ah know ah could just forge it, ya know a quick signature and boom were home free, over the border an comin to get ya out of there but there's a problem. Ah didn't bring anythin' with ya signature on it, ah mean Ah have everythin else. Birth papers, marriage license....." Marie stopped dead in her tracks. How stupid could she be? His damn signature was on the certificate!
"AAAARRGGHHHHH!!! Fuckin' Hell, dammit all to shit and Sunday's! Why didn't Ah look at it properly!! FUCK!! Ah've wasted a couple of days here when Ah could've been over the damn border already!" Her swearing soon dissolved into laughter as she realised the way was clear now. She could copy his signature until she was competant and they'd be over the border.
All of her stress of the last few days dripped out of her mouth and filled the room, her son's waking gurgling causing her to go over to him. Putting down the still recording machine she pulled him out of the warm nest she'd had him in and hugged him to her chest. Spinning him round and seeing the huge smile she got in return making her spirit soar.
"We're goin to get Daddy tomorrow sugar, we're goin to go over the border and Ah need to make sure ya'll had your shots before we go. Ah don't want ya getting sick before we get there do we?" Her son's hand touched her cheek and she felt his love fill her mind, a lightness filling her soul and a way out of the drab misery she'd been in finally clear to her.
"Ah love ya too, ya little handful. Soon daddy's gonna be feedin ya again, an we all know how much ya love pullin on his face as he does it."

With hope burning brightly Marie wove around the room, dancing into the dawn with hope laying her way clear. She was getting closer and that was what mattered.

Carrington - North Dakota (US)
-----------------------------

"Ah knew it wouldn't last Logan, this run of good luck Ah mean. The truck got into a little 'scrape' shall we say, well scrape is the only good way of puttin it sugar." The man doing the repairs to the battered half of the once perfect truck listened as she held her son to her side. His little face looked tired and shocked, there was still glass in his baby hair and he felt anger rise at the seriousness of the damage that had been done to the truck. If it had been the passenger side that been hit, she might have lost him to a drunk in charge of a vehicle. He thumped the front panel again with his hammer as she came closer to him.

"We're fine, a little shook up but not too bad. The other guy came off a lot worse, Ah'm *so* glad ya made me do some snow drivin' last year, when we went into the spin Ah did it just as ya taught me." Her son gurgled and the mechanic looked up at him, seeing his hazel orbs boring into his own. Smiling he held up a grease streaked hand to the small child, his little fingers easily wrapping around his own grease streaked thumb. The smile he got from the mother was enough to make him fiddle with his own plain band on his finger. He could see her rings and she was obviously on her way to someone but she'd be off the road for a while. She needed a new front suspension thanks to that creep that smashed into her. Standing up he made to tell her that when he caught the last part of her conversation to the device in her hand.

"We're gonna be late sugar, ah just hope ya'll can hang on long enough for us to get there." The words stopped him dead, the emotion that still hung in every word made the ring on his left hand burn into his skin. When she finally looked up at him her eyes were filled with tears, her face reminded him of a picture he'd seen once. He wasn't one for museums but he'd been dragged along one day by their youngest to the local one. He'd been bored up until that picture, the way the artist had captured the soul of the woman in her eyes. And here he was seeing it in the flesh, everything she was feeling was there to be seen and she was in need. Clearing his throat he wiped his hands on a rag before speaking to her.

"Well I'm afraid your goin to need a new front suspension arm, I won't send you out on a journey with only a repair job. You need a new one to be safe." The woman nodded and her deep chestnut hair dropped over her son's face making him giggle.
"How much an how long?" This was where he usually racked up the price and made his earnings over an above the ticket prices. But her gaze seemed to look straight through him, making him squirm and for once be honest in his dealings.
"Three hours if you've got the cash to hand, won't be hard to get a part to fit and you can be out on the road before dusk." The smile she sent his way made his heart soar, she meant everything she expressed.
"Thank you, Ah need to be somewhere real soon. Kind of an emergency." She didn't drop her gaze from his own and he felt the metal of his wedding band grow hot again, he dropped his eyes first and went back to the truck.

"Sure, I'll get started now." Before he went back into the garage to get the parts he let himself watch her for a moment. Whoever had married her was a very lucky man and his mind went to the woman who had been looking after his own family for nearly fifteen years. Deciding to take her into the yard like they used to, to sit and watch the stars in each others arms. You never knew what you had till you lost it and it looked like she had. Pulling his mind back to work he got busy with the repairs.


Minneapolis - Minnesota (US)
----------------------------

The new suspension arm was working lovely, the ride down here was better than the entire trip through Canada. Maybe the crash had been a good thing in the end, flicking her newly dyed hair out of her eyes Marie saw her son's reaction to the colour of her hair. She'd chosen a shade near her own, but it covered the white streaks in her hair. Now she looked like any other mom, she'd even bought a small stroller as well as a baby carrier for her back. Dark grey and waterproof he'd be safe in it as she went into the mansion because there was no way on God's green earth she was leaving him behind her.

The maps were over the bed and she'd been dipping into their savings to pick clean motels and food. She still had a good wedge of Canadian bucks but she was using the dollars now. The only thing that did worry her was the way mutants seemed to be pulling out of society here, she'd caught part of a daytime talk show while she'd waited in line to be served at a diner. They were discussing the mutant problem and the amount of illness that seemed to be running through the population. Quarentine had been called in several places and the CDC were on hand to tell the country that it wasn't anything to worry about. That it seemed to be a strain of influenza that seemed to target specific people, like the outbreak last year of chicken flu that had just affected workers at ranches. Small populations that didn't move much were at risk and they had to be cautious, she'd tuned out the rest.

Logan had sent everyone into the hills because he thought they'd brought the virus with them. Flicking on the recorder she brought it to her lips, whispering as their son slept close by. "Ah know why ya sent us away sugar, bein here in the US kinda makes me nervous but then how else am Ah gonna get ya metal lined ass out of there?" Her sigh echoed around the small space,"Logan Ah miss you, ah need to touch you, to hold you again, Ah mean theres a point to me comin to get ya, ya know."
Tears were filling her eyes as she tried to calm her emotions, "If Ah think about it Ah won't be able to move Logan an Ah can't *do* that. Ah can't think about why they took you, not now if Ah do then Ah'll doubt. An if Ah doubt then Ah'll make mistakes and Ah can't do that not so close to seein' ya again. Ah'm comin for ya Logan, one way or another we'll be together."

She let the emotion pour our of her, it was the only way to go forward, to let the posion flow through her. Let it pass by and pick up tomorrow, tomorrow was a different day, more chances to get to him, more hope to feed her. Just right now, right here she didn't feel any of it.

Akron - Ohio (US)
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The sun beat down on her, she'd forgotten how warm the sun could be down here. Wiping her skin down with a wet wipe she readjusted her son at the back and carried on walking to the small store she'd seen on their journey into Akron.
Her truck was parked up securly in a decent car park that had a guard on it, her hand carried the recorder with her and she'd been feeling better about getting closer to him. It had been only two weeks so far, she'd kept stopping when she needed rest but apart from that she'd kept a respectable speed going cross country. She couldn't rush with their son, she wouldn't put him at risk.

She was just about to reach her goal when a clothed man bumped into her, sending her into a wall, she hunched her shoulders keeping her son safe as her shoulder slammed into the brick. Voices were calling after the coated man, pulling herself back up her eyes flashing dangerously at the interloper who'd almost hurt her baby. Watching as he stumbled across the road into the traffic stream, screeching brakes and shouts of abuse ringing in her ears. A man coming out of his car and smashing his fist into the coated man, Marie just got out of there as fast as possible. Her shudders fading as she got into a crowded area, the violence of the attack on the man still something she didn't understand. That was until she went around the corner.

There in front of her was the blackbird, it's ramp down and the heroes of the hour were helping what looked like a group of mutants. There were lines, bottles, arms being injected and her gaze locked onto the faces she once considered her friends. Making sure she was out of their sight she clicked the recorder on, her voice filled with steel as she watched the sick being dosed with something.
"Logan Ah'm not gonna stop till I get to ya, Ah'm not gonna rest till you're out of there an sugar by the looks of it they'll be too busy to notice you're gone til it's too late. Ah love you Logan, we both do. Ah'm comin' Sugar."

She didn't remember how long it took her to get back to the truck but she did remember feeding her son and telling him he'd better behave from now on cos she really didn't have the time to stop everytime he wanted her to. His daddy needed her and she was goin to get him, come hell or high water. Her fingers dragged over his soft skin and she felt the peace coming from him, he knew, her little son knew. Soon he'd be in his fathers arms and they'd be leaving for good this time. Out of the country, far away where they couldn't get hold of them.


Westchester - New York State (US)
---------------------------------

She'd driven hard and it had only taken her a full day to get here, she'd stopped to pee, change her son, feed him but they'd been quick stops instead of the leisurely stops she'd done earlier. Now she was here, Westchester, she'd taken the truck up into the forest that surrounded the large houses. Forest trails and loggers paths ran the entire length of the place but no-one ever seemed to use them. Their cars weren't able to get through the mud and steep slopes, not like her truck, not like *Logans* truck was.

She'd gone hunting on her first night there, came back with a small brace of rabbit, skinned cleaned and eaten them under the stars. The deep green canopy around them kept them hidden from the world but she'd heard the blackbird go over her head to the east. So that morning she'd put him in his carrier and she'd set off to find her husband.

The school hadn't changed much, the lights were still blazing all hours of the day and night. Her eyes saw the small sensors that were surrounding the house, security had been upped but she'd have to risk it. The kids were everywhere, running riot and she wished she could be so carefree again. A gurgle from behind her made her rethink her plan, she'd have to wait till dusk, which at this time of year was around 9.30pm to sneak over to the house. Pulling out some food for her son, Marie settled down under a maple and pulled him round to her.
"We're nearly there baby, we're nearly at daddy. Ah know we can do it," her son quickly took the food on offer and smiled at her as he ate. "See we're doin' fine aren't we? Soon you'll be in your daddy's arms again an we'll be out of here."

A steel look entered her gaze as the kids ran in for lunch, she'd take down as many as she needed to if it came to it. Her family came first and that included Logan, the people here had thought her a problem to remove. Well it was odd how problems seemed to come back to haunt those who thought they were long gone. A smile that didn't reach her eyes roved over the grounds, she'd find a way through. She'd come this far alone, she could do this as well.

As if in answer to her prayer the small jet she'd first seen came out of the sky, her eyes followed it down as the basketball court opened up. Her eye caught by the change of colour in the readout on the sensors, they were off when the court was open. Thanking the spirits that were guarding them on this journey, all she had to do was wait until the blackbird came home or left again. It gave her a bigger window to get across and get inside, all she had to do now was wait.