"Alright, rug rats, I hope you all remembered your still art, subject projects are due today. Just put 'em up on your easel and I'll walk around."

"Mr. Logan...um...my roommate accidentally coughed and burned mine with his fire breath. Can I get a---"

"No. We all have roommates with control issues. That's your responsibility to not let it interfere with your work. You're taking an F."

"But that's not----"

*growls*

"Sorry, yes sir."

"Anyone else wanna tell about the dog ate their homework? No? Good. Let's see what we got. Amy, a teddy bear?"

"Yes, sir. I've had it since I was one. His name is Mr. McLoveyBug."

"McLoveyBug? You and the bear grew up, kid. Give it a name he doesn't have to shit himself over, damnit. Becky, a cell phone. Why am I not surprised? Good job with the details, considering its been in my desk for a week.

"That totally reminds me. Am I like ever gonna get it back?"

"No. Rick, you painted your breakfast."

"Yes sir. Oatmeal was a bitch but I think I got it."

"No, kid, you really didn't. And don't say bitch in my class, punk. Kimmy, I don't have a clue what that is, which isn't good considering the point of this exercise."

"It's a Komondor, a type of dog. We use to have one back home."

"Okay, I still don't have a clue what that is. Bring me a picture by the end of the day, please. Steven."

"Yes, Mr. Logan?"

"What's that?"

"It's a beer bottle, Mr.Logan. Molson's, I believe."

"When we paint self-portraits don't forget to add plenty of brown on your nose. Don't kiss up to me, sly, I'll rip your lips off."

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Miss Susie, my own mini-Rembrandt, whatca got for me?"

"I chose a fire truck for my subject."

"Weird. But, yep, I'd call that a fire truck, amazing job on the lights. Brilliant highlights and shadows, as usually."

*blushes* "Thank you, Mr. Logan."

"Tim."

"Mr.Logan."

"Your canvas is blank."

"No, actually, its white. It’s a polar bear in a snow storm."

"Its an F, smart ass."

*heavy sigh* "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say."

"Alright, good job. Most of you. Get your notebooks and pencils out, kiddies. We're starting something new today. Our focus for the next two weeks is going to be abstract art."

*cheers*

"Hey, shut the hell up, all of you. I said abstract art, not excuse to smear shit on a canvas. Abstract art basically is--- why the hell aren't you writing when I'm talking, Tim?"

"I, uh, forgot my notebook."

"Well you got a whole damn blank canvas right in front of you. Write on that. And don't EVER come unprepared to my class again, you got that?"

*mumbles* "Yes, sir."

"Anyway, abstract art is art that does not depict objects in the natural world. But instead uses colors and shapes in a non-representative way. So it's exactly the opposite of what you did on your last assignment. Aren't I clever. The whole point is to trap emotions, energy, and generally confuse the hell out of people so they don't have a clue what its about."

"Um, Mr. Logan?"

"Yeah, Susie?"

"Would Cubism be considered abstract art?"

"Yep. Fifteen bonus points for reading ahead."

*blushes*

"So I did an abstract piece while you all were painting concrete and teddy bears to give you an example."

"It's oatmeal, not concrete."

"You want a good grade on that assignment? Call it concrete. As I was saying I made this" *uncovers painting* "earlier this week. Now notice how it isn't a picture of anything but merely harsh bold lines and---"

"Uh...Mr. Logan?"

"What?"

"That is so totally NOT abstract. That's like you and---"

"Shut it, Becky, you're projecting. Now, unlike a lot of the work we've been doing there is no blending of colors, nothing seems real---"

"No, Becky's right. That's definitely you."

"Oh, yeah! I see it too! There’s the claws and the spiky hair---- is that?"

"All of you be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about. Its isn't anything."

"Oh my god! Is that Mr. Drake?! It's you attacking Mr. Drake! Look, guys, that blue line right there, that has to be ice!"

"Holy shit" *laughs* "And that red line is definitely blood!"

"Shut it! It is not me or Drake or ice or blood! Its only lines and---"

"OH. MY. GOD. Is that Ms. Rogue in the back ground?!"

"Ah!! The white stripe in the brown--- its totally Ms. Rogue! And she’s like half-naked!"

"I'm with you, Mr. Logan. She's hot!"

"Shut up!! Its abstract! Its just a bunch of lines and colors! It isn't ANYTHING!"

"No, Mr.Logan, that's definitely you taking out Mr. Drake with Ms. Rogue swooning in the background. But the colors and the lines make the emotions jump off the paper . The intensity, the power, just...just... its really beautiful, Mr. Logan." *blushes*

"Susie?"

"Yes, sir?"

"That looks nothing like a fire truck."

*blushes (again), swallows* "Come on, guys. It's just a bunch of jagged lines!---"