It was suddenly very cold. The touch of frost seemed to come out of nowhere as she huddled within its grasp. The feel of it on the dank air around her was the only thing that accompanied the eternal darkness. It was abruptly so strange to be associating something with the empty darkness she had seemed to of known for so long. She felt sensations as the cool mist caressed her bare skin. She leaped at its touch eagerly within her hazy mind, it all appeared brand new to her, the coldness, the sensation of touch, the ability to think cohesive thoughts.

Soon a whiteness stormed through the darkness pushing its dark tendrils far away from her, forever chasing away the endless abyss. Sound did not come as soon as the light did but she felt content to feel and see anything but the darkness. She was floating, rising higher and higher until being yanked. She realized slowly, that it was not her body that moved but the strange platform she was strapped to. There was a click and another jerk as the pod she was in opened up fully, assaulting her eyes with the cleanest light she had seen in ages. Blinking as the sounds around her made their way to previously deaf ears, sounds of machines beeping, the hiss of oxygen tanks and the sounds of several people milling around. A large face suddenly peered over her, locks of short blond hair hidden beneath a mask as the man dressed in scrubs edge closer. The image appeared too sinister to dare to look away from, but ever so slowly, the man reached up and removed his mask, an unusually kind smile on his young and eager face.

“Hello,” he spoke smiling sincerely.

She lay still, never looking away from his light brown eyes as she realized speech would too come to her later as she was silent.

“I know this must all be a bit strange but we’re here to help.”

He smiled more widely, his pristine white teeth gleaming at her in innocence.

“Welcome, to a Mutant Friendly World.”

A sleek car zoomed past her mere inches from her feet where she remained standing stock still on the clean sidewalk outside of the large beige building she had just exited. She stood waiting dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Her eyes dared to dart around realizing no one else was dressed as plainly but no one stared at her; instead, many people nodded and smiled as though it was the norm to find such plainly dressed people waiting outside of the beige building.

A train zoomed by extremely fast, the sound of its engine burning, the squeal of the brakes. She glanced sharply to her right expecting the train to appear out of the next street but no such thing occurred. Instead, she could see the train station three blocks over. Her ears hummed in annoyance and her nose scrunched up at the awful smells that wafted up from the streets.

They had said it would be sudden.

They.

Her eyes slammed shut as the recent moments flashed through her mind.

After she had been escorted from the unusual room filled with the doctors she was placed inside another large white room seated in a chair by a steel desk. An older woman in a brown sleek dress suit entered the room, her heels echoing in her mind with each step, noticing the way the woman’s right foot dragged almost unnoticeable causing her right foot steps to sound heavier, an old wound perhaps. She was followed by the blond haired doctor that she had awoken to and an older man who stood silently dressed in black beside the door, he had guard written all over him and she was unsure why she knew that so well.

“We are all glad to see that the re-animation was successful,” the woman beamed at her, reaching out a hand. She found herself ignoring it only keen on watching the woman’s eyes trying to place what was going on.

If she offended the woman she did not show it, merely she sat down across from her as though it was a usual occurrence. The two men remained standing.

“I’m sure you have many questions,” the woman smiled. “And we will be as accommodating as we can be, but due to a large fire some years back most of our resources and records were destroyed and we had to start from scratch, but I am getting ahead of myself. My name is Dr. Lane, but you may call me Joyce if you wish.”

“And I am Dr. Stone,” the young blond haired man spoke smiling once again. She could not sense anything fake in anything he did, that more than anything irked her as though such a thing was an uncommon experience to her.

“And who I’m I?” she spoke up.

The two of them shared a quick glance as though they hadn’t expected her to speak so soon.

“What do you remember?” Joyce asked bypassing her question.

“I remember it being cold and I remember it being dark and then I remember Dr. Stone’s face.”

The woman frowned. “Yes, I’m afraid amnesia has been a common symptom in many of our patients.”

“I am a previous patient of yours?”

“Not exactly.” She leaned forward folding her hands over a file.

“You know you are a mutant correct?”

She nodded, recalling Dr. Stone’s brief introduction and the unique sensations she had felt within her body when she awoke.

“You posses the power of skin absorption through touch, which you have control of,” she added as though it meant something. “As well as unique healing abilities and enhanced senses. You do not age, which has made the estimate of your real age quite difficult. You appear to be around 25-28 years old but we know that you are indeed older than you appear.”

“The amnesia you are experiencing so far in our other patients has not appeared to be long term. About three to four days after you leave here you will get flashes of your recent experiences, they may cause you some discomfort. As well your amnesia does not affect your motor skills, cognitive skills or your social skills; it more or less has just affected the memories pertaining to who you are.”

“Convenient,” she drawled.

The woman smiled. “Yes and from your light accent it is clear you are from one of the southern states.”

“America?”

“Yes, the United States of America.”

“Is that where I am?”

Joyce nodded. “Unfortunately, the amnesia affecting your personal memories could last anywhere from a month to years, the longest that has been recorded being five years.”

“What happened to me?”

Joyce sighed. “This is where it becomes difficult. Right now you may be experiencing a form of shock which is making you feel so detached from the situation right now. We believe the further shock of what you went through is what caused your loss of memories.”

“What?”

“About 30 years ago there was an almost full world-wide war against mutants and humans then. Here in the states, the so-called mutant threat had been contained and the country had been sectioned off into many different government factions, which really meant there was no one law maintaining order. Many mutants who were not killed were subjected to experiments in hopes that they could be used and abused by the humans in control and you unfortunately were one of these prisoners.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“When the revolution happened seven years later, and Europe came over seas to set up order as they had reached a peaceful agreement one year earlier; they had always been more mutant tolerant. Anyways, when they came it was one large mess trying to find every lab, which are now universally illegal. It has taken the country years to unearth them all and when the horrors of what had gone on reached the public, society was even more open to living in a joint world. There were still a few radicals who didn’t believe the war was over but they were the minority and unfortunately they succeeded in further leaving their stain on this country when they started infiltrating the labs and setting fire to them and burning all the records. We know that you were around during the start of the war because you were placed in a comatose frozen sleep and all the pods were dated. Only a selected few of you were frozen and locked away and we still aren’t exactly sure why. We belong to a separate faction of the health system that deals with finding the labs and helping any remaining mutants and especially the ones we find like you and help you re-emerge into society.”

“We both know this is a lot to take in,” Dr. Stone spoke up.

She nodded slowly.

“There are no records on you only a code etched into your pod WX43275.”

“Was that what they called me then, is that my name?”

“No, you are a person, you are not a number.”

“So what happens to me now, are you going to keep me here?”

“Well, we have created a new identity for you,” Joyce spoke moving the file across the table. “This contains all of the information you need, cards, ids and so on. Your new name is Sam Spence. If later on you remember your actual name or wish to change it you are allowed to. In a few hours after we make sure your body is dealing well with the shock you will be picked up and taken to a community housing used specifically for you “new mutants” there you will be accustomed to life and be given your settlement…”

“Settlement?”

“Yes, all mutants who were alive during the war and were captured receive government supplements for what they suffered.”

“I believe yours is quite large,” Dr. Stone winked at her. “You could already retire.”

“I see.”

“And from there we have set up a means of transportation to take you across the border into Canada.”

“Why?”

“We believe with your specific mutation the large cities will cause you severe discomfort if you attempt to set up a life here and the border is only an hour away. I think you will enjoy the little town of Oak Line.”

“So I have to go along with this?”

“No,” Joyce objected right away as though she had finally truly offended her. “You are not being forced to do anything, we have merely tried to take everything into consideration and if you do not like your living arrangements you have up to a year to contact us and wish for relocation, however, after that time your life is truly yours to do with.”

“You a mutant doc?” she asked curiously.

“No,” she gave a small smile. “But I have two adopted children, one boy and one girl and they are both mutants.”

“This really is a different world,” Dr. Stone added leaning over.

“Forgive me for keeping my shades on,” she murmured sarcastically.

The guard by the door gave a small laugh. “No need for them out there unless the sun is a shinning. Nothing to hide, don’t matter if you’re furry, orange, blue, green, have lizard eyes, you’re a free woman in a free world, darlin’.”

Her head tilted as she gazed at the tall man, something he said dug at her, a small tick that was growing at the back of her head but it faded. A free world? Something told her that wherever she came from she didn’t believe in a free world. Cynicism seemed to be vastly becoming her best friend, along with sarcasm; she could tell she was already going to be a people person.

She was jolted out of the memory as a car honked right beside her. Opening her eyes to find a perky young blonde woman smiling at her already grabbing the bag the doctors had given her full of what contained her new life. She placed it inside the car and held the door open for her.

“Sorry I’m late,” she smiled. “The name is Meg by the way and you are?”

Meg held her hand out and she still found that she was not so eager to touch, but Meg didn’t seem to mind, she had a feeling the perky driver was used to zoned out mutants staring at her in confusion. What a day job.

“I’m…,” she paused finding that the name they had given her just didn’t feel right, but she wondered if any name would at a time like this. “Sam…Sam Spence.”

“Nice to meet you. The drive is only about fifteen minutes and then I will show you around when we get there.”

Meg smiled and walked back around the car before she could even answer. Her smile wasn’t as innocent as Dr. Stone’s. She could tell it was in Meg’s job description to be polite but she could also tell the compliant driver truly didn’t seem to mind that she had just walked out of a Mutant Friendly facility.

She gave a small laugh as she moved to get into the car. Dr. Lane had said she would still have her social skills, but she was getting the feeling that maybe she never had any to begin with, society and her, she could tell were going to be a rough relationship, no matter how friendly it seemed.

Today, she would be leaving for Canada and she felt nothing. A part of her was thankful that soon she would be living away from a big city, a place where the air smelled fresh and clean. Everyone she met at the halfway house was nice and understanding but she hated the joint meals and talks with people she did not even know and it didn’t matter that they all seemed to be going through the same thing.

She found herself always looking over her shoulder, not necessarily afraid but almost paranoid that she was being watched and any second someone would jump out with a set of tranquilizer guns proclaiming the joke was on her. It never happened.

She found herself surrounded by people and yet she was alone. She was a stranger to herself.

When she gazed into the mirror, she did not recognize the reflection. Whose chocolate brown eyes stared back at her in question?

It was an odd thing suddenly being forced to accept her reflection, it was almost an out of body experience because up until she was faced with the mirror she had felt like she was just floating and now she realized she had a body that took up space, that housed the nothingness she felt on the inside. She was no longer nothing but now a shell.

Long waves of auburn hair flowed down her body naturally. The white stripe at the front did not appear to be dyed; another question she knew that if asked would be unanswered as to why.

Since the mirror was all that she had to occupy herself with as she waited for the bus she took the time to feel a bit narcissistic. Soft hands running over her curvy hips as she pulled her top up showing off a toned and muscled stomach with a slim waist, the skin was no paler then that of her arms and legs. She was all pale. The doctor had hypothesized it was because for a long time she had had no control over her skin and had been covered. A little part of her was glad she couldn’t remember that part of her life. Trapped like a mummy was not something she wanted to relive after being trapped in a frozen pod for almost thirty years.

Her legs and arms were just as toned as the rest of her, slim but firm muscles adorned her limbs. She looked small but she could feel the strength within her. Arching her back she glanced at the curve of her breasts realizing she had nothing to complain about as self-centered as it was to think. She supposed the con would be she could never go with out a bra.

The skin on her face was just as pale, delicate and smooth as the rest of her. Full red lips stood out as much as her large brown eyes that blended well with her skin and dark hair. She tried to recognize the person she was looking at but it was hard, but each day since she was starting to feel more comfortable as though sub consciously she was remembering things. Still though, she found herself objecting to the name that they had given her, she did not feel like a Sam. She felt like something else all together.

The plain phone by the bed rang silently, the green light blinking instead, telling her the bus had arrived. Slowly she grabbed one small bag that somehow carried her whole life in it and headed down. She hoped it wasn’t going to be a competition as to who had the most luggage, who was the most important, but she had a feeling she’d never put much stock in such things, that she’d learned to live with the small things she had. Little thoughts like this made her hope that she had been a good person, that she was a good person.

She wasn’t sure that she was going to fall so easily into step with what was ahead of her; a small town life where she didn’t know anybody, where she had no story, no history. She had a feeling she was going to be the rogue of the town already.

Two months and she was already so settled that some days would go by and she wouldn’t even remember that she was from a time before, that she had woken up in a lab just over two months ago; although there wasn’t much for her to remember to reflect on. She was a full-fledge citizen now, both American and Canadian.

She was a mutant and she was considered to be a person. No one in the small town of Oak Line knew she was a mutant though, not that it would have mattered it seemed. Many walked around proudly displaying their mutations and no one tried to knock them out and throw them into the back of an unmarked black van, taking them away to forever become an unknown statistic of disappearing mutants.

She was just a young woman making her way through the world. She was Sam Spence a kind natured but shy waitress at the local diner who had a reputation for giving hard working truckers an extra slice of apple pie when it looked like they needed it. Apple pie never comforted her but if such small things did good for those around her it was something for her to cling to.

If sometimes she was a little too quiet and her eyes would drift off gazing unfocused through the glass windows, or if suddenly she would back up and avoid being bumped into un-necessarily no one said anything.

The family that owned the diner had gladly taken her into their little fold. The older couple named Suzie and George were exceptionally nice and she found herself enjoying their little jokes with each other and the way Suzie would threaten not at all seriously that any day now would be the real day her real man came waltzing through the door picking her up off her feet and she’d end up throwing her spatula at George as she was twirled around. Usually, George would just snort and say no man was looking to throw their back out that badly and that there was an order ready, but his eyes would say another story as they would gaze at each other in amusement and something else. She found herself envying them in a way but she found so far she never felt the need for companionship.

Their daughter Fran took care of the entire inventory and was only ever around once a week. She was nice and studious, the two of them got on well when she did see her. Stan was Fran’s younger brother and Sam figured he was about the supposed age she was, the final papers she had been given put her age at twenty-seven. Stan joked just as much as his parents and even playfully flirted with her, especially when he was flipping burgers. Once he had taken the time to show her the tricks he would do flipping the burgers and she had accidentally burned herself, she had tried to hide it but the wound had healed by the end of the day, Stan never made a comment and his flirtations still continued.

Today, she found herself sitting along the clean counter with her chin resting on her hand as she stared out the window. She was never one for idol chit-chat and while she found herself easily becoming a part of the world around her, she still felt different and she had a feeling it wasn’t just because she was mutant. It would be the little things. Like how she’d find herself calculating how many steps it would take from each entrance to exit, which spot gave her the best view of everything. Noting the number of unfamiliar license plates that would drive by, the way certain customers would carry themselves, calculating their weight and height and knowing what point on their body to hit and make them in-disposable. She gave a small shiver as she heard the bell chime indicating more customers had walked through the door. It was a slow day.

With her mind still in a funk she turned around grasping her tray of dirty dishes and just barely missed crashing into a young man. At the last second she had felt his presence and was able to avoid him but his chest did not avoid the tray as it crashed and spilled down his front. However, before each and every cup and plate could smash to the ground the man’s hands moved quickly and each cup landed still on the tray inches before the ground.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped, yanking at the towel that hung around her waist, furiously moping up the mess.

“No,” a smooth voice spoke. “It was entirely my fault, in fact I think you should stop what you are doing and let me clean up this oily sludge they try to pass for coffee around here.”

“Hey!” Stan’s voice called from behind the counter. “I’ll have you know that oily sludge is the best in the county, Summers.”

Slowly, she found her eyes moving up the young man’s body. He was lean and extremely muscular, evident by the way his navy blue t-shirt strained across his chest. There was a nice big stain of cold coffee now on the center of his shirt but it did not deflect from the sharp lines of his body.

“What’s all the noise out there?” Suzie called from the back.

Her eyes moved up his smooth neck, taking in his clean and square jaw, somehow finding the way it clenched familiar. His lips quirked in a friendly smile at her as she noted the sunglasses he wore covering his eyes. It didn’t seem odd to her, even though it was cloudy out, it felt common somehow. Two dimples lined the edges of his lips. He was a strong man but his smile was what immediately disarmed any apprehension she might feel. She was struck by the fact that his short hair was a stark white, it seemed odd for such a young man, and she figured him to be in his late twenties, earlier thirties.

It took her three minutes to realize his warm hands were touching hers trying to get her to calm down and leave the mess. She found she didn’t even mind the touch, no alarm bells in her head telling her to jump back.

“Let me help,” he spoke quietly, a kindness in his words that matched the smile on his face.

It was fifteen seconds until she realized she was leaning into him, her nose inches away from his head as she openly sniffed him. Her eyes flew wide open at what she found herself doing and pulled back, no one seemed to of noticed not even the man. She found his scent somehow recognizable and she had no idea why. She felt a growl in the back of her head and she passed it off as nothing. The man appeared to be no threat.

“Oh, Nathan, can’t you leave a poor man alone and stop trying to destroy his establishment,” George spoke behind them.

“Oh give it a rest,” Suzie added appearing beside her husband. “It was an accident.”

“Yeah well he shouldn’t be picking on our girl, Sam, here,” George continued.

Nathan’s lips twitched. “I didn’t realise you had such another beautiful daughter hidden away.”

“Oh, I’m not…” she found herself starting only to stop when Nathan turned and smirked at her and somehow she knew he had winked at her behind his sunglasses.

“Keep it in your pants, Summers,” Stan called over from the grill.

“Good to see you too, Stan,” Nathan called back as they both stood up with him placing the tray back on the counter and softly taking the coffee stained towel from her grasp.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you…” he paused glancing at her tag. “Sam, I’m usually more perceptive.”

“It’s alright.”

“I’m Nathan Summers,” he spoke holding out his hand.

She reached over and grasped it noticing his strong grip. “I’m…Sam Spence.”

He quirked his head to the side. “Funny, you don’t look like a Sam.”

She shrugged, keeping her eyes on him as she noticed George was already taking care of the tray.

“I like your hair by the way,” he indicated as his fingers hovered over the white stripe in her hair. He must have noticed the way her breath hitched as he pulled his hand back and rubbed it through his own white locks.

“I kind of like it. Yours is nice too,” she responded smiling.

“Yeah, something tells me though that we’re the only two with this particular fashion statement, not all the rage around here.”

“Not where I’ve seen.”

Suzie coughed behind them. “I believe your regular order is ready, Nathan.”

“Thanks Suzie,” he called over his shoulder and looked back at her. “I suppose I should let you get back to work.”

She gave a small nod as her gaze wandered around the diner taking in the one middle-aged trucker at the back and the small family who were almost finished already.

“I suppose you should,” she threw him a smirk of her own.

“I’d hate to get on Suzie’s bad side, my dad lives for her apple pie.”

“Where’s your dad?” she asked finding herself suddenly curious, for the first time she felt a spark inside of her as though she was finally figuring out how to care about what was going on around her and the man before her intrigued her.

“Oh, he’s back home. We live out of town. It’s just been the two of us for a while, so I help him with the land and today I’m picking up some supplies, Suzie’s home cooked meals are always on the list.”

“That’s right,” Suzie spoke up as she wandered out of the kitchen with three large bags and a box containing a pie. “You tell your pop he better come on by next time.”

“Will do,” he responded grasping for the boxes as he gave Suzie a quick kiss on her cheek. “Thank-you. See you all later,” he called out and a series of replies were heard back.

“It was nice meeting you Sam.”

“And you,” she answered nodding.

“Try not to let these two hags boss you around to much,” he winked.

“Hey!” George’s voice yelled out. “Get your ass outta here, Summers.”

Nathan smiled as he left and for the first time ever she found herself smiling in return.

“What can I get for you, today?” she asked, her blue pen suspended just above her pad of paper, not bothering to see the face behind it. She knew it was a man from his large hands.

“Well, I don’t know how ‘bout some company.”

Slowly, the paper came down and Nathan sat smiling at her, his face clad in sunglasses as usual.

“Nathan,” she smiled. “Weren’t you just in here last week and you’ve already been by for supplies this month.”

“Yeah, but you’re never on the menu,” he quipped, his lips twitching into a smirk but somehow she knew she’d seen an even better smirk before, a well practiced one. Nathan’s wasn’t as natural, she could tell he did it more to get a rise out of people, she found it oddly charming. When she first got a glimpse of him she never figured him to be so calm and humorously engaging.

“Forgive me, if I’m not amused that you’ve categorized me down to one of your ‘supplies’.”

He laughed at her attempt at a serious gaze. “No, believe me I would never make such a claim. I like to think of myself as a smart man, a man who wants to live past this meal.”

“Then I wouldn’t eat the meatloaf today,” she joked leaning in.

“I heard that,” George called from behind the counter not even looking at them.

Nathan started to pick up his plate looking under it and glancing under the table.

“What are you doing?” she asked put off by his sudden behaviour.

“Checking for the micro bugs, because there’s no way that man’s hearing is that good.”

A snort carried over from the counter.

“So can you take a break?” he asked suddenly serious.

“Uh….”

“Sure, she can, honey,” Suzie spoke out of nowhere as she breezed by them.

“But I already took my….”

“Oh shhh,” Suzie waved her cloth at her while smiling kindly at Nathan.

“The girl works so hard she doesn’t know what she’s sayin’.” Suzie gave her a light push and she fell into the seat across from Nathan who had an amused expression on his face. “Here, I’ll get you a refill.”

Suzie reached for Nathan’s cup and somehow she knew they wouldn’t be interrupted again for quite some time even though Suzie called behind her that the coffee was on its way. For the past month the whole family had been pushing her and Nathan together. Suzie had said she had noticed some kind of connection between her and Nathan immediately, that never had she seen her smile so quickly in all the time she had known her.

So when Nathan started to show up more regularly they always put her on his table. Always, got him to stay longer, always seemingly giving her breaks around the same time. She had a feeling that perhaps Nathan was in on it himself. He was showing up more frequently and they had already been out on one seemingly date when he had offered to walk her home one night and when later that had turned into coffee itself.

It was weird but she found herself not fighting it at all. For someone so guarded she found drawn to him and no thoughts that she was kidding herself would invade her mind. Their conversations always flowed so effortlessly. However, still there was a dark part of her mind that told her she was kidding herself, that this wasn’t what she wanted, what she needed, but for now she found it was nice to pretend to be normal because for the most part she found she wasn’t pretending in how she felt around him.

“So that was completely not obvious at all,” he started.

“Or not awkward,” she finished for him.

He leaned over the table. “I must be a bad person then to say I didn’t find it awkward and I enjoyed the way you blushed a bit as Suzie hustled you into the booth.”

“I didn’t blush,” she found herself protesting, her lips quirking into a small smile as she realized she was getting worked up.

“Then perhaps I ooze more sexuality then I thought, because you sure did look flushed then.”

Her eyes rolled on their on accord. “You’re such a Casanova. So full of yourself,” she observed shaking her head in amusement.

“Hey, with this hair,” he indicated as he arched his eyebrows so they passed above the rim of his sunglasses. “You tend to develop a complex very earlier on.”

“I suppose,” she smiled biting her lip to keep from laughing at the pitying look on his handsome face, like a puppy dog even with out the view of his eyes. “But I’ve told you I like it. At least you’ve never been called Stripes.”

“Now who called you that?”

“A bus driver once.”

He gave a small gasp in supposed outrage. “See now that’s not right, no imagination, if it had of been me I would’ve gone with skunk-head.”

“Charming,” she responded dryly. “And that poor sense of humour of yours is it a complex too?”

“Nah, there’s only so much you can put on that. My uncle…” he gave a small pause almost straining against the word. “He says I developed it out of a need to overcome my father’s anal retentiveness.”

A burst of laughter escaped her lips.

“I’m glad that amuses you.”

“Your uncle sounds like a funny guy.”

The smile on his face thinned. “I don’t think anyways ever referred to my uncle as being funny in the way your thinking, although his points on my father through out my age somehow have stuck with me. Like the fact that apparently I was not my father’s first son, instead the stick up his ass was evidently his first born.”

“You know you’re painting such a pretty picture of your family to entice her with,” Stan interrupted them as he twirled around on one of the stools, a playful gleam to his eyes. “Come on Sam, you already know my family and all the cons and pros and the cons, ditch lover boy and runaway with me.”

“I have an upstanding lifestyle will you be able to provide for me?” she asked him with a similar gleam to her eyes.

“Baby, our love will provide for us,” he drawled, winking at her.

Nathan snorted. “You can’t even afford to wear clean jeans, Stan.” Stan pouted as he spun around on the stool. “Your fly is undone by the way.”

Stan glanced down at his lap as he spun around which caused him to become un-balanced and he fell off of the stool. “Oww.”

“Real smooth,” Nathan retorted.

“You still love me baby, don’t you?” Stan professed as he opened his arms wide still sitting on his ass on the floor with a goofy grin on his face.

“Grease stains and all,” she remarked.

“Get up off of the floor, Stan,” Suzie directed as she walked back towards them with two fresh cups of coffee finally in her hands.

“Yes mother,” Stan spoke jumping to his feet with a mock salute as he winked at them and ran off.

“You sure you didn’t drop him on his head when he was younger,” Nathan smirked behind his cup of coffee.

“Oh, be quiet you, or I’ll tell your father what a public disturbance you’ve become down here.”

“Of course,” he answered. “Thanks for the coffee, Suzie.”

“Thanks,” she threw in half-heartedly not liking the way Suzie beamed at the two of them as she walked away.

“You know you could work up a bit more enthusiasm.”

She snorted. “I’m always enthused can’t you tell.”

He coughed on his coffee. “God, your wit is drier then mine, maybe my uncle would get a kick out of you.”

She smiled. “So why don’t you get to the part about why you’re really here?”

“You get right to point don’t you?”

“Eventually,” she responded slyly.

“Well, you see I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me on an outing after you’re done work.”

“You mean a date?”

“If that’s what the kids are calling it these days.”

She paused a moment as she reflected over her coffee. At the diner she could pretend that she was a full person, that she had a life, but when she went home she was always reminded about how empty she felt and knew she was. She wondered how long it would last when she started to run out of answers to his questions, but for one brief second the darkness of the pod flashed before her eyes and she realized she didn’t want to make another prison for herself.

“I would like that,” she smiled as she answered.

“Are you sure your dad isn’t going to mind us coming to stay for a while?”

“I told you it was his idea,” Nathan responded casting a quick glance at her before his eyes went back towards the road in front of them. “Wants to know why I’ve been staying in town so much for the past four months.”

“In a good or bad way, because I don’t want to already be on his bad side if I’ve been taking up to much of your time for you to help with the land.”

“Believe me a good way. Besides my uncle lives on his own house just past our land and he stops by every now and then to help. Well, actually it was all my uncle’s land at one point, he let my father have some of the property.”

“That was nice of him.”

“Yes,” the word was slightly strained.

She noted the way his hands tightened on the wheel.

“You’re not nervous are you?” he teased throwing her a smile.

She glanced away from the window. “Do I have anything to be nervous about?”

“No,” he answered. “But if my uncle comes down while were here, just to let you know it’s not you or anything he’s just naturally surly.”

“Fantastic,” she muttered.

“Don’t worry he’s not much of a people person.”

“Neither I’m I,” she murmured.

“Hey, I’m people.”

“I suppose,” she teased him.

He gave a small laugh.

She gave a small sigh. “I just hope your father doesn’t ask too many questions when I don’t…”

“Hey,” he started seriously. “It will be fine, I’ve already told him you’re a mutant, not that that matters since we’re all mutants and he doesn’t need to know about everything else right away and I’ll make sure he minds his own business.”

“Alright, but I just don’t want to be the cause of any distress between you two.”

“You worry too much.”

“It’s in my D.N.A.”

Although, she figured it wasn’t so much worrying but paranoia or intuition that she had received from years of being locked up in a lab. Three months into their relationship and she figured he would be ready to leave, he was always having to make the effort and the moves, she felt as though she was just along for the ride. She wasn’t very open and he didn’t seem to mind, it was as though he was use to people being closed off, he was surprisingly patient.

One time he had surprised her by taking her into the next town over which had a large library, knowing she enjoyed reading so much. He let her take her time and later took her out for a picnic. It was when they were sitting underneath a large tree that he made the first move, when he started telling her about himself.

“You must have a lot of questions about me,” he murmured as he sat against the tree.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I haven’t really told you much about me.”

“Either have I.”

“So you figured if you asked questions that mean I’d end up asking the same questions of you.”

“Something like that,” she spoke a sudden chill to her voice, not liking how close he was getting.

“Got something to hide?”

“Not much to hide actually, that’s the problem,” she murmured.

“I see,” he spoke reaching for the bottle of wine, his body still relaxed. “You don’t even wonder about the glasses?”

“I,” she started opening her mouth and then closing it realizing she really hadn’t wondered about it she had just accepted it. “To tell you the truth, no.”

Laughter escaped him as he quirked his head at her. “You are unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”

“That good or bad?”

“Good.”

“So what’s with the glasses then?”

He smirked. “So you’re curious.”

“Well now that you’ve pointed it out.”

Slowly, he reached up and pulled his sunglasses off of his face, his right eye was blue as the sun reflected off of it. His left eye was flashing a yellow light all on it’s on; she couldn’t make out an iris.

For a moment neither of them said anything as she noted the way a serious of metallic markings moved out from his eye across his temple and disappeared into his luscious hair.

“You’re a mutant,” she whispered.

“Yes.”

“Forgive me but I thought this was a mutant friendly world why are you so hesitant to tell me?”

He gave her a small smile. “I was brought up through harsh conditions and my family still does not believe the supposed dream. I work on that every day, my father more then anything. He’s still a bit weary about the mutant love our world professes, prefers sticking to his own land and what he has.”

“Fair enough,” she murmured.

“Not much fazes you does it?”

She gazed at the ground. “I’m sorry. I…I realize I’m a bit strange…I too have things to work on.”

“Nah, perhaps just that enthusiasm I keep teasing you about,” he joked.

“You joke, but you do have a point. I feel like I’m living with a filter on, always aware but never reacting.” She paused a moment before speaking again as she gazed at her hands in her lap. “So what is your mutation?” she asked suddenly.

“It’s a bit all over the place. I have telepathy and telekinesis. My skill for marksmanship is above any human average so I attribute that to my genes.”

“And the eye?”

“You know you’re really ruining this moment when you don’t gasp in dramatic effect after each thing I tell you.”

“What are you looking for a B-movie performance or a heart wrenching Oscar worthy act?”

“How ‘bout X-rated,” he spoke as he quickly leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

“And?” he whispered as he pulled back a content look on his face.

“Do they have anything lower then B-movie because that was just terrible,” she drawled at him.

He sighed dramatically. “You’ll just have to let me work on it later, a couple of retakes.”

She gave a small laugh at his lopsided grin and pushed him back. “We were trying to have a serious moment here.”

“Oh, yeah the eye,” he smirked as he pointed at it openly. “Does it bug you?”

“No.”

“No?”

“If we ever get lost will just use your eye as a flashlight,” she responded dryly.

He laughed but only for a moment as he looked at her deeply. “You know you’re not the first to say that, my uncle use to say that when we’d go hunting.”

“Well I suppose we both do have points.”

“You know if you keep reminding me of my uncle, I have a feeling you’re going to rub off on my dad the wrong way.”

“Why?” she asked frowning.

“Nothing really, it was more of a joke but yeah my dad and my uncle have a strained but strong relationship.”

“I see.”

“Anyways,” he started as he reached for his sunglasses squinting at the bright sun. “When I was born it was during the mutant war and there were several weapons around then, one was a technological virus that I was susceptible to. My powers along with my mothers helped shield me for the most part from its effects but when I reached puberty my body started to produce sort of nano-chips and circuits through out my body. So the eye and the few markings are a side-effect but I know it could have been worse. My mother sacrificed everything to keep me alive.”

“You look healthy to me,” she spoke reassuringly as she shifted beside him. “What…what happened to your mother, this is the first time you’ve mentioned her?”

When he didn’t answer right away she chose to speak instead. “It’s alright you don’t have to tell me, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s just my father hasn’t talked about her for years I’ve never really had anyone to tell her about to. Both my uncle and father don’t ever like talking about the past. My mother was a wonderful woman from what I was told and little things I can remember, I know I was too young but I think when she used her powers to protect me, I like to think a part of her stayed with me.”

“So she died protecting you?”

“Not in reality but perhaps in theory,” he murmured. “It was a year or two after the war, the strain of it and of using her powers so much took a toll on her and eventually…eventually she couldn’t handle it. Her death almost destroyed my father and to this day it is why I think he doesn’t fully believe the world accepts us, because his wife died going through it all and in the end not getting to really get to experience the outcome for herself.”

“Not for nothing,” she spoke softly. “You came out of it that has to stand for something.”

He gazed at her softly. “Where is this sudden optimism coming from?” he remarked, quickly rebounding.

She shrugged. “It’s the truth is all.”

“Yeah,” he whispered as he pulled her against him and kissed her on the forehead just by her bangs. She stiffened and he noticed pulling back right away.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke quickly. “I don’t know why I did that.” And she really didn’t understand why her body had reacted so fiercely when he kissed her so simply on her forehead when they had already done much more pronounced things.

“It’s alright,” he spoke sincerely.

“Why are you so patient with me?” she inquired.

He shrugged. “I don’t feel like I’m supposed to push you. I just feel like I’m supposed to be there for you.”

“No questions of your own?” she asked surprised.

He shrugged again.

“I never got the feeling that you trusted so easily, why do you trust me now?”

He sighed. “A feeling is all, never been wrong before.”

“I suppose it would be fair for me to tell…”

“No,” he interrupted her. “I didn’t tell you that just so you’d feel obliged to do the same, I’m not trying to force…”

“I know,” she interrupted him. “But I’m sure it be nice for you to know I’m a mutant too.”

His mouth gaped open and then quirked into a smile. “Really?”

“Really.”

“So…”

“Look, I really don’t know much and that’s the truth. Only about a couple of months ago did I wake up in a lab to a pair of happy-go-lucky doctors telling me I was freed and was being paid for the crimes I had suffered during the war,” she interrupted herself by laughing a bit darkly. “Funny thing is I don’t remember the crimes against me, they said amnesia was one of the symptoms for what I had gone through. Sam Spence isn’t even my real name, I don’t know it. They gave me a new identity and shipped me off here.”

“Well,” Nathan spoke as he leaned back. “Gotta say that does explain a lot.”

“I’m sure it does.” She glanced away from him as she fidgeted with the sleeves on her shirt.

“You know I’m not trying to take anything away from what you’ve gone through but you’re not the first person I know to have the type of baggage you have. Doesn’t make you any less of a person.”

“I’m half of a person,” she found herself yelling suddenly.

“For now, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop living.”

She glanced sideways at him, narrowing her eyes. “God, your optimism sickens me sometimes.”

“That a good or bad thing?” he asked wryly.

“I have yet to decide,” she answered in a dramatic fashion, tapping her chin.

He laughed deeply as he gave her a hug. “So what powers do you have?”

“Skin absorption, although I haven’t found the need to use it, and enhanced senses with healing abilities.”

Nathan snorted.

“What?”

“Oh you healers always sound so downtrodden, no idea what you have. Lucky bastards.”

It took her a second to realize he was joking because for once his words seemed slightly bitter.

“I’m kidding,” he emphasized as he pulled her closer.

“Good, otherwise I’d wipe that goofy smirk off of your face.”

“Somehow I believe you,” he retorted, his hands passing her her glass as they both sat in the sun.

She was jolted out of her memory as the engine stopped and the car jerked as it was put into park.

“We’re here,” Nathan smiled at her.

“Nathan, you’re early,” a deep but clear male voice called from the porch. She could make out the man’s sturdy footsteps as he moved down the porch and towards the car. She was fishing around in the trunk as she heard Nathan and his father hug each other.

“How you been?”

“Good,” Nathan replied warmth to his voice. “I want you to meet somebody…”

“Ah, yes I finally want to be able to put a face with this girl you keep talking about,” his father said in jest.

“Sam,” Nathan called.

She took a deep breath trying to calm the sudden anxiety she felt and realized she didn’t have the time to wallow in her sudden apprehension; they were both waiting for her. She moved around towards the side of the car where the two of them were standing. She moved quickly to stand by Nathan as she gave a small smile towards his father.

Instantly, she could see the relation between the two of them. His father wore the same type of familiar sunglasses except they were tinted red; they seemed to fit his face better then Nathan. The squares of their jaws were similar except his father’s seemed more pronounced and for some reason she knew the sharp lines of the man’s face were almost always impeccably smooth, no stubble in sight. A series of wrinkled lines were obvious just above the man’s glasses, along his brow as though he had a habit of frowning. Trimmed short hair styled in much the same fashion as Nathan’s looked equally soft but was dark grey mixed with brown. Even though his father was clearly much older they both had a similar build, she was surprised by the strength she could see in the older man’s body. Although, she noted he leaned on his left leg heavily and she wondered if there was a shuffle to his walk, wondered what wounds were hidden beneath the soft cotton of his dark royal blue shirt and beige slacks.

All of these things stuck out to her but it wasn’t the first thing she noticed, the first thing she noticed was how as soon as he had lain eyes on her his face tensed, his mouth gaping open as his skin turned pale. The lines wrinkled above his brow in what she could only assume was confusion and surprise, his scent was off the charts with emotions, that she couldn’t place what he was truly feeling. She suddenly felt very self-conscious.

“Dad,” Nathan spoke, smiling at her not really paying attention to his father’s reaction.

His father opened his mouth and all she heard was the beginning of a whisper. “Rog…”

And before she could make sense of it Nathan reached for her and turned to beam at his father. “Dad, this is Sam, Sam Spence.”

“Sam this is my dad…” his words trailed off as he suddenly realized his father’s disposition. “Dad are you alright?”

“Fine,” his father blurted out to quickly but she had to hand it to him he covered up whatever he was feeling very quickly in front of his son, giving them both sudden smiles. She felt like she wanted to be else where and it wasn’t because she didn’t believe the man’s smile, in fact it felt entirely to sincere, it was the feeling that she somehow knew what was going on behind his ruby glasses, that she was being watched thoroughly, being examined with his eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you Sam,” he spoke up reaching his hand out for hers.

She shook his hand and noticed his grip was much stronger then the average hand shake, he seemed to be holding on to her in an almost desperate fashion as though making sure she really was right in front of him. Suddenly, she felt so very confused.

“It’s nice to meet you to Mr. Summers, thank you for having us.”

His head quirked. “Call me Scott, please. Forgive me but Nathan never mentioned your accent, it sounds bit of a mixture if you ask me.”

“Well, I’m from the South,” she answered quietly but assuredly hoping to throw him off of any further questions.

“Ever been to upstate New York?”

She frowned wondering why. “Uh no, why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” he spoke his face fixated on hers, swiftly his smile grew wider and she could tell this time it was forced. She noticed the way the muscles in his arms twitched as though maybe when he had moved in to shake her hand he really had wanted to circle her in his arms. She knew that wouldn’t be too odd of a welcome when meeting his son’s girlfriend, but she wondered what had made him stop.

“Uh, R…I mean Sam why don’t you head on inside and get yourself comfortable and let us bring in all the stuff.”

She would have normally objected but she could tell something had thrown Nathan’s father off so suddenly and she had only known him for less then five minutes, it wasn’t hard to guess what it was or more to the point who it was, the hard question was why.

Shooting them both a tight smile she walked up towards the wooden porch and went through the door. From her spot by the front door she could see the small hallway that led off towards a kitchen and dining room and to her right an immediate sitting room. There were two sets of stairs that led upstairs and one downstairs. She didn’t feel like wandering through the house, instead she sat in the sitting room her gaze looking through the open window as she noted Nathan and his father in a heated conversation.

It really wasn’t her fault that their words drifted through towards her; it wasn’t like she could turn off her enhanced hearing. So she sat as nonchalantly as possible on the couch, turned her head away from the window and listened.

“Where’d you find her, Nathan?”

“Dad, I’ve already told you. I met her at the diner, Suzie and George hired her months ago.”

“So she’s only been in town for a couple of months?”

“Yes,” Nathan hissed. “What’s your problem, why are you suddenly grilling me about her?”

“Did she bump into you or you into?” Scott asked bypassing his son’s question.

“I literally ran into her at the diner.”

“She ever ask you anything about your family?”

“No,” Nathan sighed. “Dad what is this about?”

“She tell you anything about her?”

“Of course she has,” Nathan yelled.

“Like what?”

“That’s it,” Nathan started the anger evident in his tone. “I don’t understand it but tell me right now if were not welcome here because you aren’t going to badger her about her life alright, I promised her that…”

“What she got to hide?”

“Look, dad! She’s not some kind of government terrorist bent on coming and assassinating us, the war is over. That’s what you think isn’t it that she’s one of them! You need to stop being so paranoid.”

His father was silent as though that was exactly what he thought. “You don’t know how these things work like I do, the tricks they use.”

“THE WAR IS OVER!”

Silence stretched between them for a beat or two.

“Do I have your word that you won’t push her with questions?”

“Yes,” Scott answered.

“I don’t understand the sudden hostility, as though you don’t like her…”

“Actually,” his father’s voice got suddenly sharp. “I do like her and I already know I will….you….can’t understand…what…I mean….”

“Fine, whatever,” Nathan muttered not really hearing the pain and emotion in his father’s voice.

“Just tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“What powers does she have?” Scott asked.

Nathan sighed. “Skin absorption and healing with enhanced senses.” From the tone it was obvious he was now smiling. “Isn’t that such a kicker, healing and senses just like….”

“Yes,” his father interrupted. “Ironic.”

Silence stretched again between the two men as she heard them wrestle with the bags and then the slamming of the car trunk.

“So is Logan coming for dinner tonight?” Nathan asked.

They were close enough now that she could see them standing just outside the door. Nathan never heard his father’s whispered response but she did.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She wondered what she had gotten herself into.

Dinner had oddly enough not been tense at all. Scott was making a real effort with overcoming whatever issues he had and truthfully she found herself liking him. It was odd but despite the clear visual age difference he gave off more of a big brother feeling towards her then a possible father in law.

The three of them were now sitting around the main room, a fire roaring in the fireplace as they all sipped their tea and coffee.

“Nathan, could you please go get some more wood from the back?”

Nathan shot them both a weary look as though he didn’t want to leave her alone with his father.

“Okay,” he muttered as he shuffled away.

As soon as he left an awkwardness soaked into the room, more awkward for her really, the tension in the room was coming off of Scott in waves. She sipped at her cup generously.

“The wood’s stacked a bit far out back, kind of an inconvenience really, been meaning to move it closer. I don’t move as well as I use too,” he spoke softly a smiling drifting across his face.

“Your right knee must give you a lot of trouble,” she muttered and suddenly realized she had said it out loud.

“Excuse me,” he said, his eyes narrowing.

“Ummm,” she started placing her cup back on the table. “I’m sorry it’s just…just when I first saw you outside I noticed you were leaning on your left leg for support and then you mentioned you don’t move well…and well…it was just a guess…really.”

“A guess…really?” he spoke more to himself, his lips smirking as though there was a joke she wasn’t getting.

“You have a good eye.”

“I guess.”

“Those senses must come in handy.”

She shrugged. “Never needed them really, you know except it’s easier for me to tell when food’s bad at the diner.”

He snorted. “You telling me you’ve never lived a more adventurous life with your skills?”

She stilled on the couch not liking where the conversation was going, it was a pretty ordinary question but she had a feeling he was digging for something.

“What type of answer are you looking for Mr. Summers?” she asked with a subtle edge.

He leaned over the table, his hands cupping his mug, his eyes downcast. “I’m sorry if my tone was…”

“Have I offended you somehow?”

“What?” he looked up at her sharply. “No, no it’s just…well I guess you were aware of my first reaction to you.”

“You looked like you’d seen a ghost.”

His lips quirked. “Yes I suppose that would be a way to put it, I’m sorry, I’m sure Nathan has told you…”

“It’s alright,” she spoke up. “I figured you might be a bit guarded, Nathan told me about your experiences during the war and his mother and…”

She stopped when she noticed the way he tensed. “Yes,” he murmured. “Those weren’t the best of times, my wife...Jean Grey,” he paused and looked up at her sharply but whatever he wanted to see wasn’t there. “Well, she wasn’t the only one we lost during that time.”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

He turned in the dim light and she noticed that one side of his collar had flopped over revealing three long claw marks in the side of his neck, they were scarred. She found her own hand wondering up towards her chest absently stroking a space that bore no mark to speak of.

“I suppose it’s my fault really,” he murmured. “I haven’t been into the town or the cities that much. I guess it was easy when I first saw you to think of how you reminded me of someone who was once very important to me and my family.”

“Really?” she found herself sitting forward on the edge of the couch.

“You don’t have a twin do you? Or maybe your mother…”

“No,” she spoke abruptly. “I have no family.”

He nodded shaking his head. “That’s unfortunate.”

She could tell the questions he really wanted to ask were on the tip of his tongue. But no matter how nice he seemed she couldn’t bring herself to engage in such a conversation. He spoke of her appearance being a trick to his son, but was it a trick on herself that he spoke as though maybe he might have known her or someone related to her. In part she couldn’t blame him, she wasn’t as susceptible to the ideal that the mutant dream had been reached, no world was a utopia. A sudden image of an older man with no hair sitting in a wheel chair smiling at her snapped through her mind and she felt her eyes close against the dim light as she reached up to press a hand against her forehead.

“Are you alright?” she heard him dimly ask in concern.

“Fine,” she responded, looking up and forcing a smile on her face. “Must be tired,” she lied.

She wondered where Nathan was with the firewood.

“Your hair is beautiful by the way,” he spoke suddenly.

She nodded and knew he truly meant it.

“What happened to this woman that I remind you of?”

His jaw clenched. “She’s dead,” he spoke abruptly. “Died during the war.”

“I’m sorry,” she spoke quietly.

“It’s alright, nothing you can do about it.” His gaze turned back towards the fire. “Anyways, would you like a refill?” he asked as he stood up.

Her reply was interrupted by a loud crash outside and a yell that carried into the house.

“WHERE IS SHE!?”

“WHERE IS SHE!?”

She found her voice caught in her throat as the obtrusive voice bellowed. Her cries for Nathan falling silent as she stood up suddenly, her body becoming frozen. Was it fear that gripped her heart she wondered? Whatever, the feeling was it was immediate to whoever was suddenly upon them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” she could hear Nathan stutter, he sounded confused and surprisingly calm.

She was surprised that Scott stood just as still as she did. Why wasn’t he going out and checking on his son she wondered, when clearly they had an intruder.

There was a small crash as though a body had been thrown against a wall followed by heavy and fast-paced footsteps. An unknown man charged into the room, his build taking up most of the doorway. She found her mouth gaping open in surprise at the sheer size of him, his body was lined with muscles bigger then even Nathan or Scott, his tanned skin stretching across them. She could tell from the way his chest heaved with deep breaths that his stomach was just as ripped, the lines of his muscles contracting against his dirty white undershirt. Torn jeans that looked like they had been poured on covered his strong legs. A beat up leather jacket covered the top of him. His body was hunched, his hands flexing as he breathed deeply in what she could only assume was rage, his face a twisted mask of feral animalism. He looked more animal then man as he stood before them, his wild hair sticking up all over the place and the stubble that lined his strong face. Hazel eyes bore into her until she felt naked under his fierce gaze, his eyes an almost gleaming gold in the dim light.

But as he took a small step into the room, almost a stumble, everything immediately softened about him. The tension slipping out of his body as he stood straight, his hands at his sides almost like he didn’t know what to do with them, every second or so it seemed like they would move forward like he wanted to reach out and touch something so desperately. The rise and fall of his chest slowed down as his eyes softened and a bare smile twitched at his lips as though he couldn’t remember how to smile. He took another step closer and she vaguely noticed Nathan appeared quietly behind him unharmed but her eyes never moved from the man before her. And that’s what he was a man. He suddenly looked so handsome to her, so strong and she felt no fear.

Noticing the way his hands twitched, she had a unexpected feeling of wanting his large hands running all over her bare skin, the pads of his fingers caressing her as his strong grip landed on her hips. For the first time ever she wanted to reach out and touch somebody first. She wanted to follow the trail of the veins in his arms. She wanted to feel the strong pressure of his hips against hers. With no idea as to where her impulsive thoughts were coming from she stood rooted to the spot. She noticed him sniff the air and a low growl vibrated so quietly between them she wasn’t sure the other two men were even aware of it. She felt her body respond to his scent. The reaction was so immediate she felt a small headache coming on as the flare of their two scents engulfed her. She noticed vaguely that there was an itching below the surface of her skin by her knuckles.

She was broken out of her haze when he stepped forward again. “Marie,” he breathed an almost full smile on his face, desperation clear in his shiny eyes.

She took a step back, not liking the sudden intensity of his gaze.

Scott appeared out of nowhere as he stood between the two of them; she had almost forgotten he was even in the room. His hard back blocked her view of the other man and she found herself releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“Logan,” Scott stressed.

She heard a trickle of a growl again but this time in warning.

“Get out of my way, Scooter,” Logan growled.

With realization, she knew that the man before her was the Uncle Logan, Nathan had mentioned various times. It was funny she noted he looked nothing like Scott, perhaps he was related to his mother she wondered. In fact, she noticed he was extremely younger then Scott, she placed him at his mid thirties, it was hard to tell behind the scruffy look but his skin looked smooth and young and no spots of grey in his hair.

“Logan,” Scott spoke again. “This is Sam Spence,” his voice was measured and slow. “She’s from in town, she’s…” he paused. “She’s Nathan’s girlfriend.”

“Like hell,” Logan snarled. “She’s m….”

“Logan!” Scott yelled suddenly. “Please.”

She wasn’t sure what he was begging but the itching beneath her knuckles grew.

“Dad?” Nathan called behind Logan.

Logan’s head spun around and glared at the young man.

“And I thought Dad’s reaction to her was going to be the tops,” Nathan laughed suddenly, a nervous tone filtering through.

No one else laughed and unexpectedly she found herself a bit irritated by him. She was irritated by the whole situation; she didn’t understand what was going on, why these reactions kept happening to her. Her head spun and she found herself reaching for the edge of the couch.

“I don’t understand,” she muttered.

Scott turned and gave her a comforting smile but she knew it was only for show, he appeared just as tense as Logan. “It’s alright, Logan was supposed to come for dinner, and it’s my fault and…”

“Are you saying he’s acting this way because you didn’t invite him to dinner?” she abruptly snapped in clear disbelief.

She heard Logan snort behind Scott.

“Because he was asking about ‘she’ and seeing as how I’m the only girl here I’d like to know what the hell is going on,” she yelled. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Logan’s nostrils flare again and there was a tightening in her body as it called to something primal inside of her. She glanced away and scrunched her eyes up reaching for head.

“I need some air,” she whispered. “When you boys figure out what the hell is going on let me know please.”

She took a wide arc around Logan and headed out the front door but she could still hear them and she knew the feral man’s eyes were on her without even looking back.

“Nathan go and see if she’s alright,” Scott spoke.

“No,” Logan growled.

“Why not?” Nathan spoke up. “She’s right you know I’d like to know what the hell is going on too.”

“It’s none of your damn business,” Logan snarled.

She could hear his sudden heavy footsteps coming towards the door she had just left through.

“Logan!” Scott yelled. “Please just leave her be for now.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me that One-eye, after all these years, decades…”

“I know,” Scott whispered. “But for her, please?”

There was silence for a moment and then his footsteps retreated and she heard the slamming of the back door.

“Nathan,” Scott started.

“Dad what’s going on?”

“Let me speak to Logan first.”

“But?”

“Please, go and attend to Sam, you two should get some rest.”

“You shouldn’t be alone with him when he’s like this, whatever it is that’s got him so wound up.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, well your neck says otherwise.”

“You have no say on things you have no idea about,” Scott spat a darkness laced his words and for the first time she felt true anger from the kind older man.

Nathan was silent as the back door slammed again.


Quietly, she passed by the upstairs’ bathroom door, hearing the water run as Nathan got ready for bed. She knew the two men were still outside talking so she slinked along the darkened hallways and came to what she assumed was Scott’s bedroom and crept along towards the window where strained voices filtered through. The white cottony drape blew in the humid air billowing around her as it hid her shape. Closing her eyes she slowed her breathing, somehow keying into how susceptible Logan appeared to be to her presence, not wanting to tip him off.

“When the fuck were you goin’ to tell me?” Logan snarled.

“Logan, keep your voice down.”

She could tell Logan had started to pace.

“I had no idea. I was just as shocked as you were when she arrived today. I almost had a heart attack and unfortunately like you I don’t easily heal from such things.”

“And Nathan?”

“Has no idea. We’ve never spoken about it in front of him, he’s never seen pictures. He says he met her at Suzie and George’s diner; she’s been a waitress there for the past few months.”

“What else does he say?”

“Nothing other then the things he likes about her.”

There was sharp growl as Logan became more agitated.

“He got really annoyed and agitated when I started asking him questions about her, it seems she had a feeling she would be grilled when they got here and he’s protecting her.”

“But what does she have to hide?” Logan murmured his voice gravely.

“At first I thought maybe she was sent here by them.”

“You mean as an assassin?”

Scott shrugged.

“No, they wouldn’t try that again.”

“Maybe she’s a clone.”

“No,” Logan grunted. “Those never lasted long you know that. The copying of the mutation strand never stuck, it was too unpredictable and besides I could always tell the difference with their scent and they could never get the powers down, never the healing. You said she has both the absorption and healing, right?”

Scott nodded and then there was silence between the two men for a moment.

“Scott, it’s her. Even if I didn’t see her with my own eyes, her scent…I’d never forget it. There’s no way in being able to cover that up or copying it. She’s real,” he gasped his voice cracking. “She’s been alive this whole time, alone and…and I left her…I gave up.”

“It’s not your fault Logan; we all thought she was dead, and believe me the one thing you never did when it came to her was give up.”

Logan sighed. “She doesn’t remember us though.”

“You think she’s lying?”

“No, her scent is all confused, something must have happened to her memory.”

“Those bastards,” Scott hissed.

“She remembers me though; I know she does a part of her at least. Her scent spiked when she saw me, there’s something there.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“She must remember you too somehow; why else would she fall for a guy like Nathan. No offense Scooter, but you and I both know Nathan is not her type of guy.”

Scott sighed. “I know, you let me handle that okay.”

Logan nodded. “You know I’d protect both you and him but if he gets in the way…”

“I know,” Scott whispered deathly quiet. “Give it all a bit of time though; it is no longer just your decision. She has no idea what’s going on, we need to let her make her way. Perhaps even without her memories will see advancements, I mean like you say she was always attracted to certain men and maybe history will repeat itself.”

“And you’re okay with that even with the cost of your own son’s happiness?”

“He doesn’t understand yet, but it’s not just his happiness it’s hers as well. I owe the both of you.”

“You surprise me, Scooter.”

“You shouldn’t be surprised about this one thing, Logan.”

“No I suppose not,” the other man muttered.

“You don’t think she’s a danger?”

“No,” Logan answered. “You?”

“No,” Scott paused. “You know I always thought with such a reunion we’d all be happy but it seems they took even that away from us.”

“I never thought there’d be a reunion,” Logan whispered.

There was such emotion passing between the two of them she thought maybe they would hug each other but instead they both stood away from one another, Logan’s back slightly turned.

“For now we have to pretend like she is who she says she is, agreed?”

“Agreed,” Logan answered heavily. “For now and it be good if you didn’t forget that part.”

With those words, she saw Logan’s back disappear into the darkness as he walked off. Her eyes drawn to his form as he melted into the shadows, for a brief second she felt like maybe she’d never see him again and she realized she was afraid.

“Here you are,” Nathan spoke behind her.

She gave a small jump realizing she had let him sneak up on her.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “I was just looking around.”

“It’s alright,” he smiled at her as he pulled her towards him, she tensed. “Sorry about all this I don’t know what’s gotten into my dad and Logan,” he spoke as they walked towards their room.

“It’s okay,” she muttered, her head felt heavy. “You warned me they both had their baggage.”

“Yes, but that still doesn’t excuse their behaviour towards you.”

“How close are your father and Logan?”

Nathan’s jaw clenched. “They fought beside each other long before the war and through it. Logan helped make sure my family survived, he did the best he could. He isn’t related to me by blood. He may not be the most friendliest or civilized person and I wasn’t always his favourite guy but he protected me, taught me how to take care of myself. I trust him if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“Even though he threw you against the wall tonight?”

“You learn to pick your fights with him.”

“Wait, you said before the war but he looks like he’s only a little bit older then you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that pisses my dad off,” he smirked. “Logan has healing powers and senses just like you; small world huh?” he winked at her.

She was silent the rest of the way and silent as they got into bed. So many questions running through her head that it was hard to fall asleep with the headache that was forming. Scott and Logan spoke as though they knew her, knew her better then herself, but was that really possible she questioned. Or perhaps they were both caught up in the idea of whoever it was they had loved before and had died, casting her in the place of that honoured ghost. Whatever it was she didn’t feel like leaving in fear, in fact she felt as just as interested as the two of them had sounded. They said they’d wait to see what happened and she found herself agreeing. She’d wait and see, because there was no denying how her body reacted to Logan even if her mind refused to open up. She could play the game as well.

Nathan threw a smile over his shoulder at her as they descended the stairs. It always got to her that he was such a morning person. For the first twenty minutes after she woke up it was a good idea if no one spoke to her. She hesitated on the stairs; she could hear two voices down in the kitchen, two male voices. If she could hear them she realized Logan would be able to sense her stopping on the stairs, she was going to have to work on being around someone else with such keen senses.

“Logan what are you doing here?” Nathan asked as he chuckled. “You do realize it isn’t past eleven yet.”

Logan grunted behind his newspaper.

Scott turned around from the stove and smiled at the two of them. “Logan’s helping me move the firewood hut closer and work on the fences.”

Nathan joked, “What a samaritan.”

“Least I could do since his son can do jack all,” Logan spoke behind his paper.

Nathan smiled as he took a seat. “I love the way you show your love for me through teasing.”

“Nathan,” Scott interrupted. “Eat your breakfast.”

Rogue slid into the seat opposite Logan who still had the paper raised in front of his face. By some means, she knew his stare was continuing on past the paper and into her. An electric heat passed between them, she could feel it calling her and she tried to clamp it shut, ignoring the smell of pine and cigar that wafted up from him, along with musk. She’d never taken the time to really analyze Nathan’s scent; just that somehow it had smelled familiar, Logan’s went beyond that.

“Morning, Sam,” Scott spoke as he laid her plate in front of her.

“Morning,” she replied back quietly smiling at him.

She looked down at her plate and found her eyes fixated on it. It was exactly how she liked everything. Not even Nathan had ever made her breakfast so he couldn’t have told his father. Her bacon was crisp and almost burnt just how she always liked it since she could remember. Gazing at everyone else’s plates, she noticed they had fried eggs but she never much cared for them and instead her plate had scrambled eggs. Brown bread was placed neatly on the side while everyone else had white.

“Something wrong?” Scott asked innocently.

“No,” she added quickly, her head coming back up. “Nothing, its fine thanks.”

There was the rustle of the paper as Logan placed it beside him and Nathan picked it up. She didn’t have to look across the table to know Logan was looking at her. Slowly, she met his eyes and found them widening in shock, her breath escaping her. He had shaved since she last saw him. His hair trimmed and his cheeks not exactly smooth but with the hint of a shadow. He was even more handsome then she had originally guessed. She found herself holding her hands under the table trying to ignore the instinct to reach out and run her hands through his hair. She was seriously beginning to wonder what was wrong with her, her libido was out of control and she knew he could sense it.

He smirked at her and reached for his coffee. Carefully she reached for her fork and started to eat her eggs, she realized she didn’t have much to be embarrassed about, he seemed just as interested in her as she was him, maybe not visibly but she could sense the spike in his scent when he was around her. Did this mean she had really known him before or was she just reacting like any woman would when around such a man, she figured he didn’t have trouble getting woman into his bed. But the question was, what was it about her that made him so interested?

“Morning,” he spoke suddenly, his voice calm and velvet like.

She looked up at him. “Good morning.”

He gave her a brazen smile. “I just wanted to say sorry for last night, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or if I scared you…” he paused as if he knew without out a doubt that perhaps he had of made her uncomfortable but at no point had she been scared. “Anyways, it was just that…”

She interrupted him not waiting to hear whatever lame excuse he and Scott had come up with. “It’s alright.”

He sat back.

“Really?”

“Really,” she murmured, scooting her feet as far back as she could behind her chair, well aware that he had his legs sprawled out under the table.

One eyebrow rose up as he looked at her, her forehead creased as she took in the action; she already knew it was a trademark of his, she could tell he used it in more ways then one, the simple action and she felt her body flare with attention.

“You normally accosted by men like that when you meet them the first time?”

“Only since I’ve been here, there isn’t another neighbour around that I should prepare myself for,” she quipped not even realizing it until the words were out.

And he did the one thing she hadn’t expected, he laughed out loud, a big laugh that warmed her up and traveled down to her toes. It was such a contradiction for a man of his dark appearance to have such an inviting laugh. Although she supposed maybe he didn’t laugh like that much, Nathan was staring at him oddly over the paper; she quickly realized she had totally forgotten he was sitting with them.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Whatever you say, darlin’.”

She hissed as she found herself quietly gasping for air. She remembered the guard calling her darlin’ and how it had oddly ticked at her but right now with Logan in front of her, it felt ten times more powerful, the way he dragged it out, the way it was filled with affection, it was suddenly too much. She didn’t understand the difference between the man in front of her and the guard back at the facility. It was just a word.

The skin underneath her knuckles started to itch again. She dropped her fork and pulled her hands back. She was well aware of how intently Logan was looking at her now, the laughter gone and replaced with a serious gaze. She didn’t miss the look that passed between Scott and him, no matter how quick they made it. She stood up abruptly her chair skidding back.

“Are you alright?” Nathan asked in concern.

“Fine,” she muttered. “Just going to use the bathroom.”

She walked away feeling a pair of hazel eyes burn into her back, she realized that maybe she wasn’t up for their games.

Reaching the bathroom, she quickly turned the cold water on and ran her knuckles under the tap. What was it about that man that had her so wound up she wondered. They’d barely even had a conversation and yet she felt like they’d already had many just by being in each other’s presence, just from his eyes. It was stupid she thought; this was all impossible. He wasn’t as charming as Nathan; he wasn’t outgoing or particularly friendly. He just seemed to like to push her buttons and more then that he enjoyed it. And yet, she realized as she gazed up at her reflection in the mirror she somehow felt like she knew everything about him.

Swing. Chop. Swing. Chop. The sound of the wood splitting in two echoed in her head already adding to her own splitting headache. She was sitting in the shade on the back porch where she could see Logan in the distance chopping extra wood. Scott had been right about the distance but with her eyesight it was hard to miss all the details of Logan’s strong body, especially when he had his shirt off. The bad part was she didn’t even feel guilty as she eyed him. Nathan would have no idea about what she was doing from such a distance but she supposed Logan did; perhaps that was why he was walking around with his shirt off, to further entice her or maybe it was just something he always did, frankly she didn’t blame him.

She felt like a lump sitting where she was, while the men worked, although, to be fair she hadn’t been invited up to be put to work. Logan was working along down by the forest line. She could hear Scott rummaging around in the kitchen and she knew Nathan was out front near the edge of the property working the fence. She didn’t have to guess what was happening; Scott was giving her ample time away from Nathan and more of an opportunity to be with them.

She winced as a stream of sunlight ricocheted off the hanging wind chimes. She had been extremely quiet after breakfast because she had a feeling if she opened her mouth she’d be declaring to Nathan that she wanted to go back into town right away. She wanted to be back at the facility she had woken up in where she was safe, where she had felt nothing, where she was numb.

Knowing how much these two men had suffered through their years and maybe she had been apart of that then perhaps she was better off not knowing; but one thing always brought her back. Logan. She was curious. Her body despite the sudden headaches and the itching of her knuckles, she found was moving out from her, licking at an enticing flame and Logan was that flame. She was drawn to him. Her body acting out for her; but something in the back of her mind told her it was more then lust, that it was important for her to remember.

Perhaps she rationalized it was not only important for her but both Scott and Logan. She could feel the desperation coming off Logan uneasily like a fresh sickness. He was silently begging her to remember. She would find him watching her, his gaze unrelenting and fierce, never backing down. She was never unnerved; on the contrary, she felt warmth spread through the coldness that she housed inside of her. Nathan never looked at her with such concentration, such emotion; she felt almost cherished, protected.

“You must be bored out of your mind?” Scott chuckled as he laid a tray out in front of her, handing her the proverbial ice-cold lemonade on a hot day.

She smiled kindly as she accepted it.

“Not really,” she answered truthfully, as she sipped at her drink. “It’s different from the diner.”

“Suzie and George work you to hard,” he teased.

“No,” the words that work was all she had on the tip of her tongue.

Taking another sip, she ran her finger tips up the cold glass letting the condensation glisten against her warm skin. “Although, it’s not me who’s probably bored. I’m sure Nathan’s not to happy that you’ve kept him plenty busy but more to the point as far away from me as you can possibly manage without tipping him off.”

She heard a cough as Scott most likely had gasped on his lemonade. “Excuse me?” he asked.

She set her glass on the table and turned to glance at him. “If I was any other plain girlfriend I have a feeling you’d be put off by my actions, by my quietness, by my bluntness of words when we have apparently only just met. But you don’t think I’m just any regular girl, I know both you and Logan think I’m somebody else and frankly I don’t think I can play along anymore so why don’t you ask me the questions you really want ask me.”

Scott set his own glass down a quirk of a smile on his weary face, small wrinkles apparent around his lips. “You always did have a way with getting to the point.”

Her body clenched. “I didn’t say I was this person so don’t talk to me like I am, I said ask your questions,” she bristled.

“Right,” he quickly replied. “My fault.”

“I don’t want you to tell me who or what you think I am, just ask your questions and I’ll tell you what I know. This is all giving me too much of a headache and honestly I’m finding it a bit weird but apparently not weird enough to leave you and your ghosts behind.”

He nodded. “What’s your real name?”

“How do you know Sam isn’t my real name and don’t say it’s because I don’t look like a Sam.”

“Sam’s too plain for you,” he mumbled. “It’s a nice name but it’s not right.”

She sighed. “I don’t know my real name.”

He nodded as if he expected it. “Who gave you the name Sam?”

She shrugged. “The doctor, the government, whoever’s job it is to sit at some tiny desk running through a database of names and putting them against the files of those who were only ever given numbers for their existence.”

“So you were at a facility once?”

“You know about them?”

He nodded. “More then I’d like to.”

“All I know is about a couple months ago I woke up in a lab with happy smiling faces telling me I was free and was welcome to society. They gave me my new information, my settlement for the crimes I can’t remember that I apparently suffered and shipped me off here. Told me I had been around during the war and that I had been hidden away in one of the more unknown labs, frozen inside a pod. Whatever files or information they had on me were destroyed in the riot fires.”

He was quiet for a few moments. “That’s a lot to go through in such a short time and you seem so indifferent about it.”

“It takes a long time to learn how to feel again, even more when you don’t know who you are or what happened to you.”

He opened his mouth to speak again but she cut him off. “But you think you already know who I am don’t you?”

“Yes.”

She was silent for a bit and he didn’t seem to mind. “It doesn’t matter if you do.”

“What?” he gasped suddenly.

“No offense, but just because you say you know and maybe even though part of me is inclined to agree just on the basis that I’m curious, it doesn’t mean I can just start wherever I left off. I have a new life now and there’s no point living in the past when I can’t remember,” she spoke as she stared at him hard. “You can’t force me just because it would be better for the both of you, whoever I was to you two.”

“You’re just going to give up when there’s a chance that we could be right?”

“Maybe there’s a reason I’m not meant to remember.”

He was silent for a long time and she didn’t move to get up.

“But you’re not happy now. I know you care for Nathan, but you’re just moving with the flow, just going along with the lights on but nobody’s home.”

She shrugged. “Does it matter when it’s all I’ve know.”

“You were happy once even…” he paused. “Even during the worst times. I won’t lie and say everything always went smoothly for you but there were moments, there were times when you had everything you ever wanted within your grasp.”

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing I can’t remember, it was a long time ago what makes you think I could feel that again, have that.”

His gaze looked up and out towards where Logan was still working. “Because,” he whispered. “He’s still here.”

She leaned back as far as she could in her chair hiding in the small shadows, she wasn’t going to grasp a slim straws, at false hopes, she was better off not hoping at all.

“I’m not going to stay here for forever.”

“A part of you wants to run, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she answered truthfully.

“What’s keeping you?”

She didn’t answer. A small sad smile drifted across his face.

“Why don’t you stay for the planned week that you came to stay and I promise I won’t try and push you and maybe, whatever it is that’s keeping you here will become clearer.”

He stood up and reached for his glass.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out suddenly.

“What for?”

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling this isn’t easy for any of us and it’s because I’m here.”

“Not at all,” he answered truthfully. “But since we both agreed to settle ourselves here for the week, why don’t you take Logan his sandwich and drink, you might as well talk with him.”

“You don’t do subtle at all do you?” she quipped as she stood up reaching for the tray.

She had a sense he had winked at her from behind his shades. “Yes, maybe I’m pushing you on this one thing but you can’t deny that a part of you does want to talk to him.”

She looked away from him and didn’t say another word as she headed down the steps with the tray.

She supposed it wasn’t the smartest thing not to be watching where she was going but the closer she got she found her eyes fixated solely on Logan. He would hear her coming from a long ways off but he never turned around. Her eyes focused on the way his back muscles rippled and how they suddenly tensed as she approached, his head coming up and still as he slowly put the axe down, his nose twitching.

With each step, she felt like the air was getting thicker and it was harder to breathe; she noticed his scent fluctuate as she got closer, causing her to gasp quietly at the primal charged atmosphere that surrounded them both.

She noticed his hands twitched and he quickly reached for a rag to wring his hands against.

“Scott too much of a pansy to come and bring it down himself?” he spoke with his back still towards her.

She stopped and laid the tray on one of the tree stumps. “He seemed to think you would enjoy my company much better.”

The muscles in his neck strained visibly.

“You sound annoyed,” he observed as he turned around to look at her. She focused on every part of her not to betray her and let her eyes wander towards his well sculpted chest and instead focused on his dark eyes, which she realized wasn’t the best option either, his stare was unrelenting.

“If the idea of spending time with me revolts you so much you don’t have to,” he spoke his voice laced with bitterness.

“I don’t even know you,” she answered, his sharp eyes focusing on hers. “Is there a reason why I should be revolted, it be nice to know before hand?”

A smirk twitched on his face. “That sass of yours ever get you in trouble?” he asked as he reached for the water.

She shrugged. “No, but I’m sure you would tell me if it has.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” he asked his eyes narrowing.

“It means you’ve already got me all figured out, both you and Scott already mapped me out to being whoever I was from your past. If you ask me it’s a bit unhealthy.”

He snorted as his body became rigid, her eyes were distracted for a moment as she watched the way his abdominal muscles moved. “Well who are you then?”

She gave him a small playful smile. “Don’t know.”

“You’re admitting that to me?”

She shrugged again. “Why not, both Nathan and now Scott knows and although you may not be hounding me with questions like Scott I can tell you’re the most interested to know.”

His smirk grew wider and she realized he could work so many things through that one action just like the eyebrow raise. “You’re not put off by any of this?”

“Well, you don’t seem to be put off by me either despite how weird I seem.”

“You calling me weird?” he asked and the eyebrow rose up right on schedule.

“I think I may have.”

His smirk transformed into a smile. “So if Scott knows then…?”

“He got to ask his questions,” she interrupted him. “But I told him I didn’t care to know what he thought he knew about me and that even if maybe there’s a chance it’s true I might not ever want to know.”

The smile vanished, his eyes became hooded, and he turned away from her for a second. “You’re afraid,” he whispered.

A small flare of anger seeped into her. “What?”

“Why else wouldn’t you want to accept it, maybe you already do know and you’re just blocking it out yourself thinking none of it can be good.”

“What’s the point of living in the past and no offense but I don’t really know you, you may think you know me and maybe we did but I don’t feel for you whatever I’m expected to.”

“I know,” he muttered sadly, the rag in his hands was straining against his fingers as he twisted it.

She took a deep breath. “Listen, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you while I’m here because you seem like a nice guy and…”

“And?” he interrupted her sharply his eyes boring into hers.

“And,” she stuttered. “What I said you seem like a nice guy.”

He snorted. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, darlin’.”

Her eyes narrowed at his sudden cockiness and attitude. He lifted the glass of water to his mouth and tilted his head back as he chugged it. She watched in fascination as his Adam’s apple bobbed with each gulp. Her eyes picking up the way tiny beads of sweat trailed down his neck and how in that moment all she wanted to do was to use her tongue to lick him clean. Quickly she glanced away looking for her own rag to occupy her hands with. She wondered how long she could lie to herself for, why was she so hesitant, was she really subconsciously protecting herself from something, from someone?

Logan’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “So do I get to ask any questions?”

“Sure,” she muttered straightening up, waiting for the intrusion of questions.

“Have the headaches been getting worse?”

“What?” she blurted out, her eyes wide totally thrown off by his choice of question when she was giving him an open chance.

“I said have the headaches been getting any worse and don’t lie because I know you’ve been getting them repeatedly since you’ve been here and they shouldn’t be that bad or lasting this long with your healing factor.”

She gaped at him totally thrown for a loop; he cared.

“Uh,” she stuttered. “They come and go.”

He looked at her so deeply she thought she had suddenly become naked, her clothes melting just from his gaze. “Then maybe you should go sit inside for a bit and lie down and let me know if they get any worse. Maybe you’re just not use to the air here and the sun,” he spoke the last part as though he didn’t really believe it but he was just giving her something to grasp to.

“Yeah, maybe,” she whispered. However, with her eyes fixated on his body she realized having a nap was the last thing on her mind, she was thinking more along the lines of a cold shower.

She saw his nostrils flare and a wolf like grin appeared on his face and she knew it was time to go; he suddenly looked like it was her he’d rather devour then the sandwich.

“Enjoy your sandwich,” she spoke as she turned and walked back towards the house.

“Thank you,” he called after her.

With each step, she took towards the house she felt like she could breathe again but her body didn’t relax, she was suddenly very tightly wound up.

Large hands gently cradled her body as fingers danced along her naked skin down her ribcage, across her stomach and settling on her hips possessively. Soft wet lips settled just above her navel kissing and teasing her skin lightly until she could feel the quick sharpness of teeth nipping at her skin accompanied by soft stubble that brushed against her smooth skin. Her hips arched up instinctively and she felt a low growl vibrate between their bodies as she gasped.

A quick cool sensation on her hip distracted her as a pink tongue licked her hipbone and moved down. Her own fingers scrunched up in dark brown locks of wild hair, the tips of her nails digging into a warm scalp as she moaned. It wasn’t enough. She needed more. She wanted him inside of her.

Her whole body arched as she gasped out loud a name trembling past her lips as she came.

With a jolt she woke up in the bed, sweat beading on her forehead as her heart raced. The sounds of crickets and an owl just outside the open window of the Summer’s home grounding her as she came to the realization she had been dreaming. It had felt so real though and familiar.

She sighed as she lay on her back, her limbs fidgeting as she strummed her fingers against the white linen. She was restless and on edge. Her head no longer pounded in pain instead she could hear the blood running through her veins with need. She felt like she was going to explode.

A grunt beside her caused her eyes to finally look at the body that lay half-naked within less of an arm’s reach. Her eyes darkened as she took in Nathan’s smooth sculpted chest, her body shifting closer on its own. Somehow, what she was about to do felt wrong, that the chest was in fact to small, too lean and especially too bare but she didn’t care; the blood pounded harder in her head.

Her lips connected with his collarbone as she leaned over him, her tongue working its way along his smooth skin. Nathan’s hand came up to her head as though to bat her away until he seemed to realize what was going on and instead he rubbed his fingers in her long waves.

“Talk about a wake up call,” he murmured still sounding half asleep. His blue eye peeked out at her and she ignored the growl she felt at the back of her mind, her lust taking up the forefront of her thoughts. “Its not even morning,” he noted glancing at the still dark night sky through their open window.

“So,” she muttered against his skin.

“Hey I’m not complaining,” he laughed low. “Just surprised is all, you’re the one who made the rule.”

She moved to straddle him, her lips on his neck. She knew what he meant, since they had stayed the first night she had mentioned she felt uncomfortable with the idea of having sex in his father’s house but she had a feeling it had more to do with just his father, but right now she didn’t care, she needed a release, the dream finally tightening the string inside of her to the point that she was going to snap.

His hands moved to her hips and she moved suddenly and he jerked them back coming to land on her ass, she unexpectedly didn’t like his grip but knew instinctively that she preferred it then to the grip on her hips.

“Are you sure?” he mumbled.

“Stop talking,” she hissed through clenched teeth holding back a growl.

She gripped the sheets by his head and avoided looking into his eyes but he didn’t seem to notice once that night.



The sound of a car engine bursting to life woke her up as she blinked at the sunlight that poured into the room. She sighed and noticed she was alone in bed remembering briefly waking up before to Nathan kissing her saying they had both slept in and that she could sleep in longer. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was eleven. She shifted up in bed and turned away from the light already feeling the trickle of another headache coming on. Her body still felt tense as well. Last night had taken the edge off but it wasn’t enough, she still needed something more.

Swiftly she got ready having a quick shower as well. Her nose twitched at the smell of sex in the room but instead of enticing her, she felt nauseated, she didn’t understand why, blatantly choosing to ignore the fact that her senses clearly did not revel in the combined scents of her and Nathan.

She was distracted with the need to get out of the room as she opened the door; therefore, she was thrown off by what awaited her out in the hall. She was silent as she shut the door behind her, her movements slow and obvious as her gaze met the wild one that was directed at her.

Logan stood deathly still in front of her, his unrelenting stare no longer watchful but harsh and accusing. She felt like she was suddenly a piece of prey under his gaze. She swallowed hard as she met his eyes not knowing why she felt guilty all of a sudden.

“Hello,” she stuttered, leaning against the door. She wasn’t afraid but she felt unsure, her eyes glancing down the hall realizing she couldn’t hear anyone else in the house.

Logan ignored her greeting and moved in a step, his neck arching out as his eyes narrowed and he openly sniffed the air in front of her.

“I can still smell him on you,” he snarled. She noticed he was clenching his fists, he was angry. “No shower will hide it when you’re saturated in it.”

The first thing she wanted to blurt out was along the lines of what or pardon but instead she found herself defensive.

“Why would I have to hide it?”

A feral smirk crossed his face and she found the string tightening again despite the glint in his suddenly gold like eyes.

“You tell me,” his voice harsh and low. “You showered, fine, but why’d you scrub with soap until your skin was raw.” His eyes flicking towards the slight hue of red on her arms that was already disappearing but still visible to his eyes.

She pushed off the door and moved down the hall. “It’s none of your damn business,” she seethed, feeling anger herself wondering what right he had to question her.

“I think it is,” his voice was all of a sudden just behind her right ear, his lips hovering and she found despite the circumstance she wanted those lips on her skin, her breath hitched but she didn’t turn around. “Especially since I’m the one that started it and you went to him to finish it,” he finished by giving a sudden dark laugh. “Although it seems he didn’t do a good enough job,” he emphasized by sniffing the air around her.

She jerked away turning to glance at him. “You have some nerve,” she spat back but she found her tone wasn’t as strong as her words, possibly there was some truth in what he was saying, ever since she had met him she had been attracted and on edge but she didn’t have to admit it.

He stood rooted to the spot as he let her move away but his smirk grew more dangerous as his eyes flared darkly. “Tell me,” he spoke his voice becoming lower. “How hard was it for you to hold back?”

She tilted her head in question.

“I bet pretty boy would be a bit perturbed to find how you really like it.”

Her eyes narrowed at him.

“Having to bit your own lip to stop from biting down on his neck, collar bone, and chest.”

His hands opened up as he placed them on either side of the walls and her eyes flickered towards them, noticing the familiarity from her dream. She took a step back.

“Curling your fingers in the sheets to stop from running your nails down his back so harshly you draw blood.”

He opened his mouth flashing his sharpened canines at her and she knew it wasn’t for comfort.

“Was it even really any good when you have to lie to yourself and to him?”

She glared at him as she moved towards the stairs.

“You’re out of your fucking mind.”

He shrugged. “Possibly, but at least I have a mind to be out of.”

She shook her head. “You’re a sick bastard,” she hissed as she turned around and moved down the stairs.

“But I ain’t a liar, darlin’,” he called out after her.

Pacing back and forth in the kitchen fifteen minutes later did nothing to calm her down; instead, she was starting to become furious. What right did that man have questioning her about her sex life and assuming things? Her eyes darted out the back window to where she had seen Logan disappear into the forest over five minutes before, his footsteps harsh and long.

She glanced at the fridge where a quick note was scribbled in Nathan’s hand writing telling her he and Scott had gone into town to pick up things for dinner tonight. She was pissed off. She was pissed that Scott and Nathan were gone leaving her with that Neanderthal of a man. If she found out Scott had done it on purpose she was going to have words with him. She was angry with Logan. Quickly, her foot shot out, kicked at one of the kitchen table’s legs, and she growled as she twirled back around.

What are you really angry about? A voice teased in her head. Angry that he let you walk away instead of pushing you up against the wall, his large hands curling around your form as he showed you what you were missing, what you needed. You want him, the voice whispered. You could have him. He wants you.

No, she shook her head and steeled her eyes as she glanced back towards the forest. He had no right. He needed to know he couldn’t just walk around treating her that way.

The back door slammed behind her as she raced to the spot she had seen Logan go through, her footsteps, just as harsh as his had been. After three minutes of hurried footsteps she could already tell he had gone much further into the forest then she had been so far.

The sound of the wind rustling through the trees accompanied by the mixture of birds and other animals whirled around her but his scent was still strong, in fact, it was powerful. The rage was so palpable even on the wind and she took a step back leaning against a tree as she breathed deeply. Her hands grasped the bark behind her and when she felt smooth wood, she turned around.

There was a set of claw marks gashed deeply in the trunk of the tree, three long grooves. They didn’t look like they had been done by any animal she knew of. Her eyes glanced around the forest and she noticed the claws appeared on further tree trunks up ahead, splinters of wood lining the ground. Her knuckles buzzed. Tentatively, her hand reached out and her fingers settled in the groove of the marks. Her heartbeat started to pick up as she grazed the mark and she knew she’d seen it before.

Her knees suddenly buckled as she leaned against the tree, a memory burning through her mind.

It was cold and everything around her was white and grey. The sound of a trunk engine was running somewhere near her and slowly warmth was starting to pour back into her tired and frozen bones. Chocolate brown eyes looked back at her as she gazed out the window covered in bits of ice. She could see her reflection in the side mirror. She looked thin and tired and more importantly she looked young; the white streak in her hair nowhere to be seen.

Beside her, a rugged man was driving and it took her a second to realize it was Logan. His eyes directed out on the icy road with a cigar clenched in his teeth. His hands clasped the steering wheel.

She was curious.

“Does it …hurt when they come out?” she asked.

Logan turned and stared at her with his eyebrow shifting up only a little as he took the cigar out of his mouth and smoke traveled past his lips.

“Every time,” he muttered, his gaze going back to the road but his eyes glanced back at her once more with a look in them she couldn’t decipher. His shoulders relaxed against his seat.

The memory gripped her mind so harshly she found herself blinking back tears as her knees started to fail her. Two strong hands came out of nowhere and stopped her from falling towards the ground. She stared silently with her eyes wide into Logan’s distraught face.

His features twisted in a fierce snarl that was fading with each second that her body appeared to be fighting her. A brief flash of concern flashing across his eyes before being pushed back letting her see his usual mask of indifference, but his strong grip that was still supporting her let her know he wouldn’t let her fall.

His eyes searched hers but all she could do was gasp as her body started to calm back down. She never thought for a second to pull away from him. She fell to her knees and he went with her, still supporting her.

His hands were in her hair as he gently but firmly gripped the sides of her face.

“Ma…,” he paused as he clenched his teeth and took a deep breath. “Are you alright?”

She was in shock. Her eyes only remaining on his face as she noted there was hardly any difference from how he looked in the memory to how he looked in front of her and she could tell the memory was old.

He’d stumbled over his words and she knew somehow that he had wanted to call her Marie, the small whisper that had been on his lips when he had stumbled into the Summer’s living room just days ago. She finally understood who Marie was.

She cried out as her memory flashed again to the same winter landscape but she felt no cold only warmth inside Logan’s truck.

“What kind of name is Wolverine?”

“I don’t know, what kind of a name is Rogue?”

She gave him a small sincere smile. “Marie.”

He glanced at her again with the same look she was finding to be complicated as though he was thinking so many things and they were all flashing across his eyes at too fast a speed for them to settle on one.

“Logan.”

This time they both stared at each other with things unsaid.

She came to with Logan shaking her shoulders, he looked frantic.

“Are you….?

Her whisper broke across his words, “Wolverine.”

The forest appeared to go still at the exact same time he did, his body froze as he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth gaping open.

“I know you,” she gasped. “How do I know you?”

She leaned against him and he didn’t object but now he looked like the one in shock. Three of her fingers rubbed the spot over his knuckles gently, knowing that the claws that made the marks on the trees lay just beneath the surface.

“Marie,” he gasped, his eyes glistening as he looked at her in question.

She nodded slowly.

He gave a sudden laugh, which sounded caught between a sob as well.

“You remember,” he laughed joyously.

He leaned in so suddenly that his lips were on hers before she had time to react. The kiss was deep and intense as he dominated her mouth more then explored it. She found herself responding and shuddered against his hard body. She felt on fire just from him kissing her, she could tell that his kiss was only a small temptation to what he could really do to her and she wanted it. She felt the need that had been boiling over in her start to burst free as he worked her mouth.

His hand moved down from her hair across her neck and started to caress her breast. She broke the kiss as she moaned breathlessly. He growled and moved back in but she pushed him back. He growled again and she found herself struggling to hold him back with her hands.

“No,” she whispered. He stilled over her right away but he didn’t move back, he only stared at her, his eyes alive with passion and something else she never expected to see in another’s eyes when looking at her, love. But right now as she noticed the golden hue to his eyes, he appeared more animal then man. She could see the restraint he was barely holding on to as he stopped his advances. She saw so many promises in his eyes, of the things he wished to do to her and she knew immediately she wanted him to.

Unfortunately, her conscience had chosen to rise and she knew that some how it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to Nathan and it wasn’t fair to both her and Logan because whatever she had seen in her memory nothing about it explained in large detail why she was suddenly seconds away from having sex with him. She knew that they hadn’t been lovers in the memory.

“Marie?” he pleaded and she gazed back at him in deep sorrow.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But I don’t remember. I don’t remember this.” Tears flowed down her face as she desperately tried to concentrate on the memories, tried to call them back.

He leaned back slightly with pain filling his eyes. “But…?” he spoke sounding lost.

“Yes, I remember you but I don’t know why or…or…any of this.”

The rush she had felt moments ago was fading and her head started to pound again. Her eyes scrunched up and she hissed in pain. She felt Logan cradle her head gently.

“What do you remember?” he asked quietly.

She gazed up at him. “It seems so long ago…” she drifted off.

He nodded. “I was cold and…and hungry and suddenly I wasn’t anymore and I was warm and I was moving and…and…”

“Go on.”

“You were there and you were driving…a truck and I was sitting beside you and…” she paused for a moment in thought.

“Before you had these, right?” he indicated her white bangs.

She nodded quietly, holding back the question as to why she had them, her mind felt fuzzy with the sudden memory, the rush from Logan and now the pain.

“It’s when we first met.”

She nodded again her eyes a bit unfocused as she realized it had felt like an introduction of sorts but still it felt like pieces were missing, important pieces.

“So you and Scott are right, I do truly know you?”

He nodded. “Do you remember Scott?”

“No,” she answered solemnly.

He sighed and suddenly stood up and away from her.

“Logan?”

He took a step away from her and then another.

“Logan, where are you going?”

He had his back to her. “I’m sorry, but I can’t…you don’t remember it all yet and…I just can’t be around you right now because….I don’t want to do something I’ll,” he paused as he laughed hollowly. “Oh who I’m I kidding I wouldn’t regret it but I know it wouldn’t be fair to you and I don’t want to be the reason for any of your pain. I won’t be far though but…you need to go inside and lie down, keep your body strong for when the rest of your memories return.”

“You think they will?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” he almost hissed. “But you were right you know, wanting to move on, wanting to forget because…because I can’t promise you…I can’t protect you from the reality you are going to find out.”

“You’re scaring me.”

She noticed he clenched both of his fists hard. “I know and for that I am truly sorry.”

He disappeared within the depths of the forest and she no longer felt empty but she didn’t feel full, she felt like she was just a bunch of different puzzle pieces and Logan had just scattered them across the forest floor.

She would have never referred to Nathan as a stupid man, on the contrary, he was quite intelligent, but he had a weakness, a weakness she found herself envying. He was maybe a bit rough around the edges given everything he had gone through in life but he wasn’t rough on the inside. He still had a spark of innocence left in him that could ignorantly be called naivety.

He milled around the kitchen humming absently as he prepared dinner, and each time he’d pause and look at her she’d quickly plaster a smile on her face that would vanish as soon as his back had turned.

She wanted to call what she felt for him pity but he didn’t deserve it, instead she couldn’t formulate how she felt. He was a smart man and well trained in the world outside of the Summer’s walls but in his own home he was unprotected. Granted he deserved to feel safe and blissful in his own home but unfortunately she knew it wasn’t going to last. It was like watching a train wreck and waiting for the inevitable to happen, and Nathan was the man tied to the tracks with a blindfold covering his eyes and one over his ears, completely oblivious.

She was still fuzzy about the details but a deep part of her already knew whatever they had wasn’t going to last and maybe it had to do with what she felt for Logan but she had an even bigger feeling that she agreed with Scott and Logan's words the first night when she had heard them say Nathan was not the type of man for her. It didn’t mean she cared any less for him or none at all, just that she knew it was possible for her to care more about somebody else.

She wondered if it would break that light inside of him to know his own family conspired against him, that he’d have to learn to build walls even within his own home. She hoped not but a dark selfish part of her had already decided that perhaps what she could gain from Scott and Logan outweighed what Nathan could lose, only a little bit she confessed. The truth was he had never truly had her to begin with and he knew that, it was a dark truth he could accept and maybe that meant she wasn’t giving him enough credit, maybe he could handle the changes that were coming their way.

Her thoughts wandered through her head as though she had already decided on everything but in truth she was still oblivious to what she was really thinking about, still holding off from taking the next step.

For the first time she felt open to all the joys and pains the world had to offer. The clear possibilities with Logan but also the first tinge of fear he had placed in her when he had warned her of the truth that was just out of her reach. He had almost appeared hesitant in their last moments in the forest. She had sensed regret, shame and true fear on him, she wondered if maybe a deep part of him didn’t want her to remember certain things, was he frightened of the outcome she speculated. What was there to hide from?

The plate she had been holding to set the table with dropped from her hands and before it even hit the ground, she had twirled around and had Nathan’s hand gripped harshly in hers and bent at an odd angle, one more move and it would snap. Her eyes were wide with shock and she immediately let go of him.

He cradled his hand and moved back a small step, shock clear on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I didn’t…you surprised me…I’m sorry.”

She was well aware that Scott had stopped cutting up the vegetables and was silent on the other side of the kitchen.

“I was calling your name twice, you didn’t respond.”

“I’m sorry; I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s alright,” he muttered, giving her a strained smile.

Scott noticeably made a huge arch around her as he walked over to his son; she noted his suddenly measured steps and the way he kept his walk hunched, his body giving off a submissive vibe. Did he think she would attack him to?

Scott examined Nathan’s wrist. “It’s alright, no real damage, you will have a nasty bruise though.”

“I’m sorry,” she spoke again wishing she could say something else, anything.

She could openly see the frown lines creasing in thought on Scott’s face.

“I’ve never seen anyone move like that,” Nathan gasped suddenly in awe. “It was like a blur, you moved literally a second before I had even tapped your shoulder. Not even Logan has that type of grace, and your control. How did you…?”

“Nathan, you need to put ice on your wrist right away,” Scott interrupted tensely.

“Its fine,” Nathan shrugged.

“It won’t be for tomorrow if you don’t ice it, we still need your help around here,” Scott spoke tersely.

“Right,” Nathan muttered as he walked over towards the fridge.

“You’ll need a bandage to wrap it up in,” Scott added already heading out the door to where she knew the supplies were kept.

“I’ll help you,” she spoke up as she followed him, she noticed his back stiffened.

They headed up the stairs and she listened for a second to make sure Nathan remained in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered again feeling small.

“It’s alright; he shouldn’t have snuck up on you.”

“You say that like its common knowledge.”

He didn’t look at her nor did he respond. Absently, he rubbed his hand against his neck showcasing the three claw marks that scarred his skin, and now she knew with out a doubt that they were claw marks.

“You’re afraid of me,” she spoke quietly. His head turned sharply to look at her. “Why?”

“No I’m not,” he spoke through clenched teeth.

“You might not stink of fear but you are suddenly on edge when you weren’t before and yet you don’t seem all that surprised.”

He shrugged again. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

“You didn’t want to know the truth,” he bit out coldly.

“Maybe now I have more of an open mind.”

“What changed?”

She was silent as they made their way towards the bathroom.

“I remembered a few things,” she whispered.

“When?” he asked sharply and now he truly did smell of fear, did he fear the same knowledge that Logan had warned her about.

“Today, in the forest with Logan,” she paused as she opened the drawer and reached for the first aid kit, noticing Scott stood still and focused on her. She already knew where the kit was; oddly enough, she knew where everything in the house was; just like at the diner she had taken the time to notice everything about her surroundings to a degree that seemed above normal.

“There were claw marks on the trees and when I touched one I saw…I saw Logan and I but I was young and we were driving in the snow and well it’s still a bit fuzzy but I know that I did know him some how.”

She looked at him intently. “He’s important to me isn’t he,” she spoke it as a statement.

“Yes,” Scott breathed. “Is that all you remember?”

She frowned. “Yes.”

He sighed. “You believe me then.”

She nodded. “Logan says the rest will come to me eventually but…”

“Are you curious?”

“About one thing, there’s one thing I want to ask you and maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should wait for the truth to come to me on my own but Logan…,” she paused as she glanced away. “Logan’s reaction didn’t relate to the memory I had, what were we?”

“What do you mean?” he asked carefully.

“In the past what was I too Logan and what was he to me. Why do I remember him first and not you? Why…” she sighed bitterly.

“You both met each other first before you met me,” he whispered.

“That’s not the answer I’m looking for.”

They were moving back down the stairs.

Scott stopped on the last step with his back towards her; she thought for a moment he wasn’t going to answer her.

“You were lovers,” he whispered with a tone that was filled with such emotion that she couldn’t tell whether he meant it as a good thing or a bad thing, but before she could ask he was already back in the kitchen.

Slowly, she followed him with her mind processing the information he had just given her and she realized she wasn’t even surprised. That even with just the memory of being in the truck if she thought about it there had been something in his eyes that had spoken to her about possibilities.

The back door that led into the kitchen opened just as she entered. Logan stalked into the room his gaze immediately landing on her and she saw his eyes hardened as Nathan leaned in to her suddenly and kissed her on the cheek before she could move.

“Don’t worry babe I’ll be good as new,” he spoke charmingly as he smiled at her.

She bowed her head and gave him a tight smile her eyes quickly looking back at Logan’s and she felt uncomfortable and torn.

“Hey, Logan you staying for dinner?” Nathan called cheerfully over his shoulder as he fixed dinner.

“No,” Logan spoke curtly and the back door slammed behind him before Nathan had even fully turned around.

“That was odd even for Logan,” Nathan observed, shrugging his shoulders at her.

“Leave him alone, Nathan,” Scott ordered.

She found herself walking towards the door Logan had just left through with an urge to go after him when Nathan stepped in front of her and handed her the salad. Something must have shown on her face because the smile fell from his as he asked, “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” she muttered, realizing her lack of response and suddenly smiled at him again. “Fine.”

But she must have forced the smile to big because she noticed the concern and the twitch that fell over his blue eye, like maybe he didn’t believe her, his eyes shifting towards the back door. Like she said, Nathan was filled with innocence but he wasn’t a stupid man.

A nest of birds chirped wildly above her in the rafters of the porch roof. With the sun shining brightly, life around the Summer’s home was lively. Vaguely, she could pick up on the conversation Scott and Nathan were having at the other end of the deck where they were working, but her eyes kept drifting towards the forest line. The forest was quiet. No sounds of joyful birds echoed within the sturdy trees, only the hum of a light wind fluttering between the green leaves. To her, it was far too quiet. As though the forest was isolating and protecting what lay within its depths, warding off any that dared approach it.

Logan was in the forest, that much she knew for sure. It had been two days since their confrontation in the forest, two days since he had stormed out from the Summer’s kitchen, two days since she had seen him last. He no longer came to the house but she knew somehow he was still getting work done.

She hadn’t experienced any memory flashbacks as powerful as the ones in the forest but with the absence of Logan she felt a sudden longing and with that she started to welcome whatever emotions that would pour over her when she thought of him. When she closed her eyes she would see brief images of his lips breaking into a full smile, the sound of his laughter echoing in her ears followed by hers and she felt safe, she felt comforted. Closing her eyes she would feel his hands on her body, his teeth grazing her collar bone and she would ache. She ached for him and she didn’t even have all the answers, she wondered how much stronger her feelings for him could get. She felt consumed by him and he was constantly taking up her thoughts.

No large memories came to her but she felt herself awakening. She found herself no longer blind to the possibilities around her, no longer blind to her emotions. A strange feeling of hope would grip her at times but she found herself still protective, still unsure. She was walking on ground she may have walked before but her previous footprints were like sand in the wind, hidden from her and no longer seen; it may not be new territory for Scott or Logan but to her it was.

With her eyes on the edge of the forest she no longer felt doubtful or weary of Scott and Logan, the part inside of her that was bursting to life begged her to believe. It was all so strange but she wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t even curious, all she wanted was to feel.

Briefly, she tuned back into Scott and Nathan’s words as they hammered nails into the porch, the sound suddenly gave her a headache. With the slow return of her memories, even her senses appeared to become even more enhanced, much clearer as though she was finally accepting them.

“We need some more wood,” Scott spoke.

Nathan sighed. “Going back and forth takes up too much time when we could both be working on the deck,” he mumbled as he started to head for the direction of the forest.

“I’ll get it,” she found herself speaking up.

Nathan looked at her and smiled lightly. His smile was much more constrained lately with her, ever since Logan had stormed out of the kitchen. She didn’t have to wonder if he noticed she hadn’t kissed him on the lips since then.

“You’re suppose to be here to relax not work,” he teased.

She walked down the steps towards him and squeezed his hand. “I don’t mind.”

He nodded and turned back towards Scott.

It took some effort on her part not to sprint towards the forest, her body urged her on to what lay past the trees but she fought it. The Summer’s land was expansive and she knew for the past two days Logan had been cutting down a few trees for more wood just past the edge of the forest line where a new pile of wood was now sitting.

As soon as she passed by a particularly large tree with low branches she turned and glanced back at the house and could only see the roof through the thick branches. Walking a little further in she could see the wood waiting up ahead. The thought of collecting it right away and heading back came to her but as soon as her nose picked up on a familiar scent on the wind the idea was no longer appealing. Instead, she followed the scent deeper into the forest.

She heard him before she saw him. A few grunts as he worked traveled through the lush undergrowth but other then that he was silent, just like the forest around him, as though they both had an understanding. He had his back to her as he worked, at first she wasn’t sure of what he was doing but as her eyes darted around the marked tree trunks she realized he was planting new trees and plants to make up for the damage he had caused, she wondered if he had to do it a lot.

She stayed rooted in the spot as she took in his shirtless form. The muscles under his youthful tanned skin moved each time he dug with the shovel. The sun that made its way through the growth of trees glistened off of his back light with sweat.

Her head suddenly swam as she reached out and leaned against a tree. Her eyes clenching shut as an image bore through her mind with intensity.

The stench of beer, smoke, cheap perfume and vomit perforated her senses. The bar was dark and dim. Planks of wood criss-crossed the beams that held the structure up causing the bar to look more like a maze of wood work. There was a slight chill to the place, practically in the shadows but no where near as cold as it was outside and each time the rickety doors were pushed open it was easy to catch a glimpse of the white snow.

She stood alone in the shadows and realized all the attention was directed at the other side of the bar, which was unusually loud. Stepping closer she made out the structure of the large metal cage and moved up even closer, mindless of the rowdy men that cheered harshly beside her.

The sound around her was drowned out as she caught a glimpse of the man leaning up against the cage, all she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat. He was dressed only in dark jeans that clung to his form and were held up by a large belt buckle, the rest of him was just skin. His back was well muscled and smooth, and she found herself licking her dry lips. Dark hair styled in a familiar way let her know with out a doubt who it was, but it wasn’t needed, she remembered that back, she remembered how it felt to run her fingers down it, what her lips felt like on it, the feel of her teeth nipping the skin, the feel of her breasts pressed up against it naked and covered in warm sheets, the feel of her arms wrapped around it tight as the engine of a motorcycle purred beneath her.

“Wolverine, King of the Cage.”

The crowd yelled loudly and her mind swam again.

She opened her eyes to find the sun still shinning brightly. Slowly, she leaned up off of the tree and let her eyes concentrate on the figure before her. Logan hadn’t moved at all but she knew he knew she was there. He straightened up and his back heaved as he took a deep breath. She licked her lips and didn’t hesitate as she approached him.

She walked forward and she didn’t realize she already had her hand stretched out in front of her, eager to feel him. He didn’t turn around and he didn’t say anything but she noted the way his body tensed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked with his face still hidden from her, his voice low, tense and rough all in one.

She found herself silent as she moved to stand behind him. She didn’t want words; she wanted to feel, to touch. Tentatively, her hand hovered over his skin, but before she could touch him, he turned around. She took a step back merely because of the look in his eyes. He was tormented. So much pain shined in his conflicted eyes that she could see a simmering rage beneath them.

“I asked you, what are you doing here?” he ground out, his words slow and measured but only barely as a small growl followed.

Her hand dropped beside her, forgotten. She wasn’t afraid but she was suddenly aware that Logan was a dangerous man. She knew somehow that he wouldn’t hurt her, not on purpose but she was hurting him with her presence. Tormenting him with what he couldn’t have. She felt like she owed him something, perhaps everything without even truly knowing why. She was surprised to find the thought didn’t even scare her.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she breathed.

His eyes flickered as his head ticked to the side. An angry smirk that was more of a snarl twisted his lips.

“Forgive me if I don’t want to watch you fucking with another man,” he spat angrily.

“You didn’t have a problem with it before,” the words flowed past her lips before she could stop them.

He took a step forward, his neck stretched out as his eyes narrowed. “That ain’t fucking true! I had a problem with it the minute I found out but I didn’t show it because I needed to know first if it was really you and it is, we both know that now, even if you haven’t gotten all your memories back. So what’s your fucking excuse now?”

She leaned back on the heels of her feet. “I’m not sleeping with him; I’m not doing anything with him.”

His top lip stretched back as he finally let the snarl flow on his face. “Not anything?” he snorted in disbelief. “He gets to wake up beside you every morning, he gets to bath in your scent, in your presence and you say it as though it is nothing. It’s everything.”

She bowed her head down, silently acknowledging his words. “I’m…”she opened her mouth to speak but nothing followed, she wasn’t sure what to say. Did she say she was sorry, when truly to her immediate knowledge Nathan was the first one she had met, was who she had come with. Could she say sorry and really mean it when she had no memories of Logan and her being lovers? Somehow he must have known how torn she felt because he took a step back. Instead, she said, “I wish you would come back to the house.”

He half way turned from her. “I told you…”

“I know,” she interrupted him. “It’s just…would it help if I said I missed you.”

He looked at her sharply.

“You wanted my memories to come back and all I’ve gotten since you’ve left is just feelings and a sense of déjà vu, but when…when I’m with you that’s when they feel the strongest, that’s when they come.”

“What else have you seen?” he asked seriously.

She felt a blush creep up on her face and the snarl on his face once again turned into a smirk.

“What was it?”

“Just now, I saw you and it was the first time I ever saw you and you were framed by the metal of the cage.”

His smirk turned playful.

“It was a classy place to meet wasn’t it?” he murmured almost affectionately.

“Why was I there?”

He sighed. “You ran away from home when you found out you were a mutant and you ended up hitchhiking across the States and Canada and you somehow ended up in that dive of a bar in Laughlin City.”

“Oh,” she murmured as her eyebrows narrowed in thought. “And why…?”

“That’s all I’m goin’ to tell yah darlin’.”

Her eyes flashed with brief anger. “Then come back to the house.”

His face fell. “I can’t.”

Her voice rose up in frustration. “Then which is it to do you want, do you want me to remember or do you want me to move on!”

“I wish none of this had happened, I wish I could have protected you, saved you,” he whispered.

“You can’t change it now,” she yelled in further aggravation.

He was silent as the irritation rolled through her. “Just…just not yet, I can’t yet.”

She huffed. “You’re a coward.”

His head whipped around so fast she thought it was just a blur; he was on her before she even had a chance, his large, strong form leaning over her, his breath hot on her skin.

“You want to know why I can’t stand it, can’t stand watching you with him, knowing,” he spoke, his voice dangerously low, his hands gripped her arms on either side as he pulled her closer and shook her just a little. “YOU’RE MY WIFE!” he screamed. “Not just my lover, you are my wife! You were since the moment you were gone and to me since then you always have been! You’re MINE! Now I ask you which is worse, having no memories at all, no idea, or having those memories and watching the one person you love and give a damn about go off with someone else with no idea of what you had, of what you were, of who you really were to them, how much they mean to you!”

He was shaking so badly she wasn’t sure if it was just him or they both were. He let go of her as though she was suddenly to hot to touch and went to turn around but she reached up and gripped him hard turning him back. Without a word she leaned in and kissed him firmly, her hands moving around his shoulders, her finger nails kneading the skin and muscle. At first he struggled a little, but they both knew he could move away if he truly wanted to.

His mouth opened up and she pushed her tongue inside as the kiss became deeper and more fevered. She pressed her whole body against his as his hands came to wrap around her tightly. One hand traveled down his chest and trailed along the lines of his abs and then curled around to grip his hip. He turned them around until he had her pressed up against a tree, his whole body wrapping around her as he cut her off from the world and all she had was him.

His hands moved over her body desperately as he first pulled at her shirt, ripping the front of it and then deciding it took to much time his hand moved to grip her ass and his other roamed through her hair. A growl vibrated through his chest and she gasped at the sensation, her fingernails dragging across his skin and he bucked his hips against her.

“Marie,” he growled, his heated eyes pausing to look at her in question. She didn’t want him to stop.

Dragging her hands up around his neck she took the time to gaze back at him seriously, trying to emphasize the fact that she had a clear head. “I want this, I want this to happen,” she whispered. “I want you, I know that,” she gasped again as he pressed himself closer towards her. “I want just you.” With those four words the guarded pain in his eyes broke free and a flood of love and desire poured through.

He kissed her fiercely and then broke free as he moved his mouth along her chin towards her neck, where he breathed deeply taking her scent in and then nipped at the skin. She arched against him and realized she wanted to taste him. She leaned down and scented her nose along the skin of his shoulder and up towards his neck where her tongue darted out and she licked at his skin, tasting him and the salt of his sweat. She found her body purring similarly to his.

Urgently, she reached down and started to undo the buttons on his jeans. He gave another deep growl and she found her knees almost buckling. He grabbed her and pressed them both deeper against the tree.

“Logan,” she moaned as he worked his mouth along her skin again.

She finally had enough sense to move her hand back down towards his waist where she enjoyed the sensation of his well defined skin and muscles, her fingers pulling down the zipper as she went to drag her hand teasingly down his pants. Just as she went to dip her hand inside she heard a twig snap close by, too close for comfort. She stopped what she was doing but Logan continued kissing his way along her body.

Something was wrong; the air was suddenly thick with something other then their arousal. Tension, anger and shock filled the air and it wasn’t coming from either of them. Glancing across Logan’s shoulder she found the air in her lungs disappear as Nathan stood meters away from them.

She pushed Logan off of her but not enough that they still weren’t touching.

“Nathan,” she cried.

The lines of Nathan’s lips thinned in a grim expression as he suddenly turned and disappeared.

“Nathan,” she called again. “Wait.”

She moved past Logan but his hand gripped her wrist fiercely. “No,” he spoke, his eyes hard and possessive.

She didn’t move to wiggle out of his grip but her eyes pleaded with him. “Logan, this isn’t about me choosing him. I’m not rejecting you but he deserves the truth. He doesn’t deserve to go through this.”

“I don’t deserve this and either do you, it shouldn’t be like this,” he growled.

“No, it shouldn’t be this hard, but who’s to blame, Logan? Nathan certainly isn’t the one to be blamed,” she hurried. “Let go,” she added softly.

He complied and she ran as fast as she could after Nathan. Her heart ached with guilt but not for loving Logan more and Nathan less but for putting him through what was evidently to come. All he had ever been to her was nice, he’d never wronged her and now he had just witnessed two of the people he trusted and loved, wrong him in the worst possible way. And one thing she knew about Nathan was he deeply valued his trust and she didn’t blame him.

Movement behind her let her know Logan was moving just as quickly behind her. As she cleared the forest she could see Nathan angrily walking towards the house.

“Nathan,” she called.

He didn’t stop and he was already half way towards the house. With a sprint of energy she moved to catch up to him.

“Nathan, please, just wait a minute,” she spoke hurriedly as she approached his back. “Let me explain,” her voice breaking with emotion.

He abruptly stopped walking but his back was still facing her and it heaved with each angry breath. “I’m sorry you had to see that but you have to understand…”

She was cut off as he rapidly turned around and lunged towards her with large steps, for a second she thought he was going to attack her but instead his gaze ignored her and he launched himself behind her. Quickly, she turned around to see him lunge at Logan who stood waiting, his face unreadable.

“You bastard!” Nathan raged. “You fucking selfish bastard!”

Logan didn’t flinch as Nathan spat in his face.

“WHY! Why’d it have to be her? You could have anyone you wanted. Don’t you have any goddamn morals?!”

Logan’s head tilted and he whispered strongly with no shame, “I only want her.”

Nathan screamed in fury and pulled his fist back to connect with Logan’s jaw. Logan saw the punch coming before it hit him but he didn’t bother to move, instead she watched in horror as he took the punch, his neck snapping to the side, blood flying out of his mouth. Shaking his head Logan turned to face Nathan who was shaking with anger. With another yell Nathan moved in and hit him in the stomach. Again Logan made no attempt to defend himself. Again and again Nathan hit him until Logan finally dropped to his knees.

“Why won’t you fight back!?” Nathan screamed.

She stood in terror, already spotting the bruises forming on Logan’s face.

Logan wavered slightly but he managed to look up at Nathan, his left eye struggling to open. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Nathan stopped in mid attack and looked at him in surprise, she had a feeling it was the first time he had ever heard Logan truly apologize for anything.

“I’m truly sorry for the pain I have caused you but I’m not sorry that I did what I did, that I have her,” he spoke his words with no malice only truth but it did not matter.

Nathan’s knee came up and hit Logan under the chin. Logan fell back towards the ground.

“She’s MINE!” Nathan yelled.

A growl trickled in the back of her head as she watched and she knew Nathan was no longer safe. Logan was quick to his feet as he stopped Nathan’s impending hit and crushed his fist in his hand. Nathan grunted but didn’t cry out. Logan struck him across the face and with his hand still crushing Nathan’s he drove the other man to his knees.

“She was never yours,” he snarled.

Logan hit him again. “Stay down,” he growled.

But instead Nathan struck him in the mid section with his free hand.

“Stop it!” she yelled moving forward. Her head was pounding frantically and her vision was becoming strained. Her knuckles itched furiously to the point that the pain burned.

They ignored her and she moved forward again finding her breath was coming in short gasps.

“I trusted you,” Nathan spat. “And you didn’t deserve it.”

Nathan’s eyes flickered and with that one quick movement Logan was flung back towards the trees by an invisible hand. He was thrown so powerfully that when he crashed into the tree the large trunk split and as Logan fell to the ground the upper half of the trunk was already starting to fall, seconds away from crushing Logan.

“NOOO!” she screamed as she ran forward.

A red light flashed across the sky and came out of nowhere as the optic blast hit the tree trunk and blew it to pieces before it could hit Logan.

All she could she was red, her eyes stung and her ears hummed. She must have closed her eyes against the brightness of it but it still felt like it was burning through her own head. She opened her eyes and gazed down at her hands that were suddenly dripping red on their own. Blood trickled down her knuckles where three bone claws protruded from either hand. She screamed and screamed until her world became black.

She struggled within her own mind as her memories finally returned in full force, crashing through her head so powerfully that they blurred by, intensifying the emotion of them. She remembered.

She was a teenager preparing for her life as a young adult in the world, outlining her hopes to travel the world, a map of her destinations covering her wall. David, the boy she had a crush on, who had been frequently coming over, lay on her bed gazing at her in light humour. It had all been so innocent. The silence that took them when their gazes connected. The slight awkwardness that hung in the air but then disappeared with the sweet anticipation. Leaning in, closer and closer. Her first kiss. And then the horror started. The screaming. The shock. The realization; she was a mutant. The abandonment. The loss of hope. Running, running away as far as she could. Forever alone.

Then meeting Logan. The X-Men. Magneto. Her death. Her rebirth. The years after that at Xavier’s school. Logan coming back. Stryker. Jean’s supposed death. Her sinister return as the Phoenix. The Cure. Scott’s death. The Professor’s death. Feeling alone. Her decision. Logan and the X-Men returning from the final battle.

She felt the grip of her memories lessen for a moment, she felt herself faintly coming back to reality. She was lying on something soft and she could hear worried voices around her. Then quickly the pain started again.

“Quick, hold her down, she’ll hurt herself!” she heard Scott’s voice vaguely before she was dragged back down.

She remembered. She remembered the sense of betrayal, the pain and hurt as she was left alone once again. She was a traitor for taking the cure, for not being at the final battle. Bobby dumped her and slowly she found herself pulling away, not sure who to trust, not sure of the ground she stood on. Logan was nowhere to be seen, he was still at the school but they never spoke, they never saw each other, wrapped up in his own grief over destroying the Phoenix, Jean. His promise to her forgotten.

So she had left, already forgotten. She was human, prepared for a new life in the world. For four months she had lived as a human, peacefully but perhaps not happily until her reality had come crashing back down. The cure wasn’t permanent. The transformation back had been painful and slow, her powers becoming sporadic. She was forced to see a doctor and like a fool she had fallen for the supposed help. The health center was a front for a government unit interested in capturing several of the mutants who had taken the cure. They were to be subjects to be taken into custody, to be experimented on, to be used. They were the forgotten; the ones who had no one else to turn to but the set up of the government, no one would miss them.

Images flashed through her mind harshly, as though her brain dared not to focus too closely on the horror of her time spent in the lab. She was being groomed to be the next Weapon X; the perfect weapon, the perfect resource of power. They had been waiting for her. Was it a year or more she had spent in the lab, she wasn’t sure, the only thing her memory chose to focus on was her escape. Logan had come for her, not the X-Men, just Logan. He had appeared out of nowhere.

She had been strapped to the table, her head tied down so all she could see was the white of the ceiling, but she could hear him, hear his rage, his anguish and pain, the howl of an animal as he attacked and destroyed every last bit of the facility. She hadn’t understood it at the time, why he was so upset, she wasn’t Jean, she was no one anymore, and he had forgotten her.

She remembered the intensity of his gaze even as he was covered in blood as he un-strapped her from the table, the sorrow and grief in his eyes as he picked her broken body up and cradled her against him. It wasn’t until they were outside and he had taken her away until she could no longer see the flames that consumed the building, did he stop. He fell to his knees and leaned her against a tree and suddenly he buried his head against her stomach and his tears soaked through her shirt, he was crying.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” he murmured against her covered skin, the sobs becoming violent as they racked his body. “I looked for you. I looked for you. I looked for you,” he mumbled. “Forgive me.”

She remembered when he had calmed down and leaned back to look at her and she recalled the slight terror that had passed over his eyes when he realized she wasn’t responding to him. The sky was a glorious colour of light blue above her and she remembered her sudden relief at the change of colour, no more white ceilings and walls and cell bars.

“Marie,” he had whispered desperately, his hands cradling her face. She gave a small smile as she stared up at the sky. She wasn’t forgotten.

She remembered going back to the institute with Logan; she hadn’t had much choice in the matter. She didn’t talk much and Logan wanted Hank to look her over, she consented simply because of the state he was in, he had lost weight with worry and guilt. Briefly, images of returning to the mansion sunk in. The apologies of her friends and the lack of response on her part. Hank and Logan’s constant worry about what she had been through. The nightmares. The way Logan had clung to her. And most importantly the return of Scott and Jean, they hadn’t been truly dead after all and the Phoenix was gone.

At some point Logan had started to sleep in her bed every night, he said it was to help her through the nightmares, somehow she didn’t think she was the only one who needed help. Eventually, she couldn’t recall the exact point, but she had started to become responsive again to the world around her, Hank was immensely proud of her rehabilitation. Through the cure and the experiments she was forced to go under she had learned to control her mutation. She remembered everyone’s happiness for her and practically the small bit of sadness that Logan seemed to of been holding when he had congratulated her; he no longer slept in her bed.

Time passed, but she remembered the moment, the moment her and Logan’s relationship changed. The realization of why he no longer slept in her room, that he thought she no longer needed him, wanted him and she realized how deeply his feelings had developed. Images of them arguing and talking blurred by until eventually the images of them in bed together, naked and touching began to build. They became the new couple to talk about even as Scott and Jean got married.

She felt her mind twisting in as a more prominent memory burst free.

She had been walking through the gardens heading towards the garage where she knew Logan was working when raised voices reached her ears. Scott and Logan were arguing.

“You don’t deserve her,” Scott spoke scathingly.

“Mind your own business, One eye,” Logan shot back.

“It is my business,” Scott retorted. “I give a damn what happens to her.”

“What are you saying that I don’t?” Logan spoke with a sudden edge.

Scott snorted. “Maybe if I hadn’t of been absence during the battle, the cure, maybe there still would have been one person here who cared for her and didn’t turn her away simply because she made a personal choice, a choice she had the right too.”

“You better watch what you say,” Logan warned a growl escaping him.

She peered over the bush, gazing at the two men who were too preoccupied to notice anything else.

“What right did you have to judge her?” Scott spit back.

“Fuck you, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Like I said she doesn’t deserve you, you’re just going to disappoint her, hurt her and abandon her again, it’s what you do best.”

Logan took a step closer, his fists clenching. “You want to know why!” Logan yelled. “Tell me how you would feel after having to run your claws through one of your friends in order to save the fucking world. I had to kill your fucking wife and you think just because I’m an animal that, that means nothing to me. I had to go save everybody else’s’ world instead of looking after my own, instead of taking more time with her. So yah, when I got back I was fucked up and I still knew that she needed me, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it. I blocked myself off from the one person I cared about the most, simply because I was afraid, afraid of getting close, of loving someone so deeply and then losing that person. So I was a coward is that what you want to hear!? Me, the Wolverine afraid of a girl.”

Scott didn’t back up as Logan edge closer. “I fucked up in the worse way I ever could I know that, don’t you think I know that. It eats at me every day, every hour that I’m awake and even when I dream it’s of her being in that fucking lab; of how close I came to losing her.”

Scott’s face was grim. “She’s only with you now because she sees that you need her, how is that fair to demand that of her when you ignored her feelings all those years before, after what she’s been through. Have you even asked her if she wants to be here after she was rejected?” he spoke quietly.

“How dare you,” Logan snarled as he grabbed Scott by the front of his shirt. “What is this about, do you want to fuck her too Scooter?”

“She’s already been fucked over in more ways then one too many times by you,” Scott hissed back.

Logan suddenly rammed Scott up against the wall and banged his head against the brick.

“Besides,” Scott added. “Unlike you I have morals about getting into other people’s lover’s pants.”

Logan yelled and punched Scott across the face. He punched him again until Scott slipped towards the ground.

“Fuck you Summers, you have no idea what our relationship is about, what it means. You aren’t like us, you can’t understand. I’m not perfect but I would give everything for her, everything to protect her, she’s mine.”

Scott coughed as he rose to his feet. “How very cave man of you, trying to control her.”

Logan gave a bitter laugh. “I know you wear glasses but for fuck sakes open your eyes, nobody makes Rogue do anything, not even me. Besides if anything she controls me and I’m fine with that, so back the fuck off.”

Logan dropped Scott and turned around, his eyes going wide as he spotted her standing by the bushes.

“Marie,” he whispered, but it was too late, she’d distracted him. Scott was on his feet, his hand raised to his glasses and a burst of red light shot into Logan blinding her and she screamed.

She shifted out of her memories abruptly finding herself arching up off of a bed as she screamed over and over. She was back in the present as an older Scott leaned over her in concern, he was speaking to her but she couldn’t make out the words. She fell back against the bed and her world went dark again before blurring to life with a million colours as she moved forward through her memory.

This time around her memories came much harsher and faster. They appeared like a film strip speeding by on an out of control reel only choosing to give her rare glimpses of her further memories.

Her relationship with Logan growing and both of them opening up to each other, forgiving each other. A flash of them getting married happily. Images of them living in a house in the wilderness. Returning to the mansion. The beginning of the war. Going into hiding with Scott and Jean. Living in fear.

The reel jerked forward and she found herself once again strapped to a table with masked doctors moving around her, but this time it was different, Logan was strapped beside her. They had been captured. Project Weapon X was back on track. She remembered sensing the doctor’s excitement at recapturing the original Weapon X, Logan. He struggled beside her as they forced their hands to touch and nothing happened. The doctors screamed at her to turn her skin on but she disobeyed. They shocked her and turned various machines on that were hooked up beside her and eventually her skin burst to life and she could feel Logan flowing inside of her indefinitely and she couldn’t stop it. She’d gained his healing and senses permanently. She thought he was dead. Her grief filled her up until there was room for nothing else and eventually it all spilled over until there was nothing inside of her.

Abruptly, the reel stopped and she gasped as she finally found herself returning back to the present. A sinking feeling filled her as she realized that couldn’t possibly be the end of it all. It was too much. She fell back asleep briefly realizing a strong, warm hand was gripping hers on the bed, Logan and he was alive.

She woke up slowly with her head still aching. The room was dark and she could tell it was night. A light flickered on suddenly beside her but she didn’t have the energy to jump in surprise. Scott was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his face was tense.

“You’re awake,” he spoke grimly.

“If that’s what you want to call it,” she murmured as she rubbed her forehead.

“We were worried about the effect on your body after what you just experienced.”

“And what exactly have I experienced?”

“I’ve seen it before in those who’ve been in the labs, something triggers their memories and the strength of their return can be almost severely harmful.”

She shrugged as she shifted up against the headboard.

“I don’t feel that great, but I’m coherent if that’s what you mean.”

“Perhaps I’ve harmed you in wishing you to stay here.”

She sighed. “You’ve only ever done your best, Scott; you’ve always looked after me, even when your intentions weren’t the best.”

He looked up at her suddenly with a flash of open hope.

She smiled at him. “I remember. I remember you, Scott.”

A smile broke across his face as he quickly leaned in and hugged her, she didn’t object as she wrapped her arms around his shaking frame.

“Rogue,” he gasped.

She nodded against him. “I’m here,” she whispered.

After a moment he pulled back with his hands still gripping hers. “I...I’ve missed you. I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “So sorry for everything and…”

“Scott, please it’s all alright.”

“But…”

“If you worry anymore you’ll get more wrinkles,” she teased.

“Says you, who doesn’t look a day older since the last time I saw you.”

She frowned.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “It’s just…I know I’ve got my memory back but it’s like right now I’ve only been able to settle on certain things, I haven’t been able to absorb it all. It’s like something’s blocking me from the rest of it.”

Scott frowned. “It will all come to you in time. Your body needs to rest as it happens.”

“Or subconsciously am I protecting myself from some truth?”

Scott looked away from her as he sighed. “I’m not the one you should ask.”

Slowly, he edged along the chair, his elbows resting on his strong legs as he cradled his head.

“It shouldn’t be this damn hard,” he strained. “It’s never once fucking easy for us.”

Reaching out she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Please, Scott.”

Tentatively, he raised his head and glanced at her and the pain was raw on his face. “I know that’s hard to argue with but for now I’m happy to have been found, to have found you. This happened to be a chance of a thing and for that I can only be grateful right now.”

He reached up and held her hand as he gently kissed it. “Then so I’m I,” he whispered.

For a moment they just stared at each other and even though Scott’s eyes were forever hidden beneath his shades, words passed through them silently, messages of love, pain, sorrow, forgiveness and above all, happiness. A time shared of memories long ago and a bond of friendship that was still somehow ever present.

He coughed and looked out the window at the night sky, she followed his gaze and she could swear the scent of a cigar was wafting through the night.

“Where’s Logan?” she asked suddenly, remembering the last memory she had had. She knew there was no reason to be concerned he had been alive and while in her presence for the past week, however, it was still greatly unnerving.

He sighed. “I believe he’s around. He watched over you for most of the time but he somehow believed if he was the first one you woke up to, it would cause you further aggravation. He blames himself for your sudden violent return of memories.”

Her brow furrowed. “I suppose some things don’t change,” she murmured. “How can it be his fault when they were meant to return anyways? Besides,” she paused as she sheepishly glanced at him. “Truthfully, it wasn’t Logan; it was when your optic blast mixed with the fight that was the final blow.”

Scott sat back his mouth open in a mixture of surprise, shock and confusion and she could tell embarrassment. “Why?”

“I guess history was meant to repeat itself. I remember once coming across you and Logan arguing about me and you finished it by blasting Logan across the yard.”

Scott bowed his head. “I was wrong to have done that, young and stupid,” he murmured.

“Yeah, you definitely went overboard back then, but you weren’t necessarily wrong about what you said. I know back then things were messed up and Logan and I weren’t exactly the best well balanced people, not sure if we ever were, but you know, you weren’t saying anything Logan hadn’t already thought himself, or I hadn’t, your good intentions came across as pouring salt in open wounds.” She threw him a small smile. “Logan isn’t perfect Scott, but you have to realize he’s not just immoral either.”

“Believe me Rogue; I’ve learned my mistakes and what they have cost that man and you too. I found out a long time ago he is more then just the black and white that I had forced him into my view all those years ago.”

“With age comes wisdom,” she teased lightly.

“And Logan is beyond any of our years,” Scott murmured.

“Thank you for everything and thank you for looking after him.”

He smirked at her. “I really don’t think I’ve been looking after him, besides he’s made sure both Nathan and I have had a good life.”

Her face fell at Nathan’s name, suddenly remembering.

“Rogue?”

“Dear God, Nathan,” she whispered. She looked up at him fearfully. “What have I done?”

“Rogue, please it’s okay.” Scott shifted closer as he tried to clam her down.

“I knew this wasn’t going to be easy on Nathan from the start, and I know it wasn’t my most magnificent hour as a father but there was no other way. Granted he shouldn’t have had to of found out that way, but we couldn’t tell him anything until you remembered yourself. Besides I couldn’t do that to either you or Logan, it wouldn’t have been fair to either of you to have continued the façade with Nathan. With the truth maybe less people would be hurt. I couldn’t watch you throw away your life, and I knew that’s what you would be doing and I couldn’t do that knowing the life you and Logan had had, the life you’re still suppose to have.”

He took a deep breath. “I explained everything to Nathan and in a way I think he already understands, he’s hurt but he just needs time. He’s gone back into town for a bit, we all agreed it would be best if both Logan and he had space.”

“I ruined their relationship,” she muttered in disbelief.

“No,” Scott interjected quickly. “You know how Logan is, you know the man behind the persona and he never gave Nathan anything more then he let himself give. Nathan has always known he could depend on and trust Logan to save his life, to protect him, to stand up for him but never once did Logan ever hint that Nathan should trust him in any other ways. I’m not saying that’s an excuse, just that in time Nathan will learn to understand what has happened and he will learn to understand what role Logan has and always will play in his life.”

She nodded mutely still not feeling one hundred percent sure. Scott stood and leaned his hand against her shoulder.

“You should rest,” he spoke quietly.

She focused on him. “You should too,” she noted. “How long have you been watching over me?”

He shrugged.

“You can be just as stubborn as Logan, you know that.”

“It’s gotten me this far,” he smirked.

Before he could turn to go she grabbed his hand and leaned up as she quickly brushed her lips against his cheek. “You’ve always been a great friend.”

He squeezed her hand as he smiled at her and retreated from the room.

Sighing, she flopped back down on the bed and realized sleeping was the last thing on her mind, she had been asleep in a frozen like state for over a decade and for the past couple of months she had been in a walking sleep. Sleep was defiantly the last thing on her mind.

Following the scent of the cigar she found Logan sitting in the dark on the back porch, a large whiskey bottle in sight on the table. Slowly, she glided into the darkness towards the chair on the other side of the table and slid into it. Once in the chair she drew her knees up so they rested against the arm of it.

She could only see the outline of Logan’s face in the darkness, the smoke that curled around him giving off an ominous feel, but she wasn’t afraid, oddly she found herself feeling relaxed. He made no movement to acknowledge her but he hadn’t told her to leave either.

The whiskey sat in the middle of the table and it was already more then half way done. A lone shot glass sat discarded beside it and she figured it was only sitting there for pretence, Logan long ago forgoing it and preferring to drink straight from the bottle.

She wanted to reach out and touch him, run her fingers through his hair, settle her lips against his. Rest her forehead against his strong chest as she listened to his heart beat, but she didn’t make the first move and somehow she knew that’s what he was waiting for. He was tense as though waiting for her final judgment. He wanted to know where they stood and she hated to leave him in the dark, literally, suffering but she still had questions and she knew she needed the answers before she decided on where they were going. She knew with out a doubt that she wanted to be with him, wanted to take him to her bed but by some means she knew he wanted more then that, he didn’t want a one night stand, he didn’t want it if later on it would mean nothing more and she needed to figure out what that something more was that he so desperately wanted.

Her memories had jarred her back to the life of the living but she still felt put off, it was a lot to take in, in a short period of time. From what she remembered her relationship with Logan hadn’t been perfect, but that wasn’t what had her hesitating, it was the fact that the last clear memory she had was of Logan dieing at her hand. She shivered in the warm night at the thought. She knew the rest of her memories were sitting at the edge of her mind, but something was holding them back and she had a feeling she was subconsciously protecting herself.

She reached for the whiskey bottle and poured herself a shot in the clean glass. Lifting it towards her lips she inhaled the scent and downed it in one quick movement. She realized she had missed the taste. Licking her lips as she placed the shot glass back down on to the table, she could taste Logan and realized he had used the shot glass.

Her next reaction was to pour another shot but as much as she found the craving suddenly resurfacing, noticing her body seemed to have missed the taste and sensation; she knew getting drunk was not going to help her deal with everything more easily.

Logan turned and glanced at her in the darkness. She could barely make out his features but she could tell he was possibly frowning or she realized humorously that it was most likely his usual brooding face.

“I always was the reason for your hard drinking,” he spoke low in the dark, his voice gravely with emotion. “I suppose that wouldn’t change now.”

She pushed the shot glass away from her as she concentrated on him. “That’s mighty egotistical of you.”

His chair creaked as he turned to face her better.

“Maybe you did push me into craving it because of the you in my head when you saved my life when I was younger but I know you don’t mean just that, you mean you physically and all the problems we’ve ever had together.” She boldly reached for the bottle again and poured another shot. “Frankly, I think you’re taking more credit then is due.” She downed the shot and wiped her lips coyly.

He snorted. “I haven’t seen you touch a drink the whole time you’ve been here and now the one time when you do it’s with me and you’ve just gotten your memories back.” His hand reached out and snatched the bottle back as he took a generous gulp. “Truthfully, I don’t blame you.”

Her chair grated as she moved to get up and walked by him. His hand snatched out and grabbed her wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asked his voice rough.

“Sorry, but I didn’t R.S.V.P. to this little pity party of one,” she snapped. His hand tightened on her wrist for a moment and then he let her go. She sighed and continued on until his voice just barley above a whisper stopped her.

“You’ve never voluntarily walked away from me before,” he whispered, his voice lost and broken. “Don’t Go.”

She could hear the begging in his voice, the please that was hushed by his lips, the questions that he didn’t ask hiding within the spaces between the words he had spoken. His voice asking her if she was still the same woman he loved, still the same person he had lived a life with, had all of this really changed her?

She found her eyes moisten threateningly at his tone, at the truth he spoke, she hoped she wasn’t so different, simply because she wanted her life with him back. Quietly, she turned back around and sat on the railing centimetres away from him. From her new position she could make out half of his face in the moonlight. His gaze never seemed to focus on her. He felt ashamed and she wondered why.

“Logan,” she spoke softly catching his attention. “Isn’t this what you wanted, for me to get my memories back, to remember you? Why is this suddenly so hard for you?” she added letting her frustration leak through.

She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. “There’s no reason to blame yourself for how they returned, you didn’t harm me.”

He looked up at her sharply, his eyes flashing to life but his lips remained closed.

“What do you want, Logan?”

He slowly put his cigar out.

“Why am I having to be the one right now to make sure you’re okay, suddenly having to badger you for answers, for anything?” she spoke her voice rising as she found her emotions leaking through as they overcame her. “My God, Logan, I just remembered we had a life together, that you’re my husband and instead of doing what I want to be doing, I feel even further away from you then just a couple of days ago.”

He bowed his head for a moment before he finally gave her the attention she wanted, his eyes centering seriously on her, a strong willed clarity seeping into them.

“What do you want to be doing?” he asked huskily. His legs stretched out little by little until his feet were in between hers.

“I just found out that I’ve missed you for over thirty years, that I still love you, because I do you know, is that what you’re worried about? What do you think I want to be doing instead of arguing?” she asked wryly. “I want to touch you, I want you to hold me,” she whispered.

“Good,” he murmured heavily as he quickly yanked her until she fell into his lap. The movement should have been awkward, but it wasn’t, instead, despite his frantic grip she settled in his lap gently with their eyes focused on each other.

He sighed deeply in content as his body suddenly relaxed and his hand already started to rub her back all on it’s own accord, his other holding her thighs against him. She was quiet as he buried his nose in her hair, his breath noticeably drawing in as he took in her scent and his body shuddered under her.

“Oh, baby,” he cracked, his body doubling over her as much as he could as a sob racked him. “I’ve missed you,” he cried. “I never thought I’d see you again, I never…”

“Shh,” she whispered as she rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m here now.”

The grip on her legs became tight as he squeezed. “I’m not going anywhere,” she murmured reassuringly.

“You can’t promise that,” he whispered. “You’ve been snatched from me before. I failed to protect you.”

“Logan, please,” she whispered back as she ran her hands all over his body trying to clam him down. “Don’t let that fear eat away at what we have right now, what we can have.”

He was silent for a moment as he clamed down. “Okay,” he whispered.

He pulled back and she smiled at him. Affectionately, she cradled his head, her fingers trailing along his strong jaw as she took him all in. She needed to capture him in her mind as he was in front of her, needing to chase away the last memory of him that had been fresh in her mind. She frowned at her thought and realized too late Logan had caught it.

“What is it?”

She leaned her head against his shoulder as her fingers trailed down and played with the buttons on his shirt.

“Marie?”

“Logan?”

“Yeah, darlin’.”

She smiled at the term for a moment.

“Were you afraid that once I remembered again that I’d blame you for all the stuff that happened that I’d be mad at you again for what happened after the cure? Did you think whatever ground we had covered in the past would be disturbed again? That I would hate you?”

He was silent again before he spoke, but his body still relaxed underneath her.

“Yes,” he breathed. “I feared it.”

“The Wolverine admits a fear,” she teased lightly.

“I have lots of fears when it comes to you.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he spoke as he cradled her closer. “All my hopes are wrapped up in you to.”

She snuggled against him. “I feel the same way.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she responded.

She glanced up at the night sky for a moment. “I don’t hate you Logan. With the memories also came the understanding and the memories after our worse times. The good times that far out weighed the bad.”

“Then what’s wrong?” he asked.

“I think I’m hiding from something,” she whispered desperately.

“What?”

“I still can’t remember it all,” she confessed.

She felt him go still.

“The last thing that I clearly remember is draining the life out you as I killed you, but that can’t be possible,” she cried.

He leaned his chin against her head as he continued to rub her back as she got worked up.

“No, darlin’ it isn’t possible,” he whispered into her hair. “Maybe, for the rest of it you need us to go through it together.”

She was quiet as she tried to calm down.

“But you said…”

“I know what I said,” he interrupted. “That you needed to remember on your own, but sometimes we hide things from ourselves and maybe you need help facing the rest and the least I could do is protect you now, not from the truth but help shield you from the pain, help remind you that were together now.”

She nodded wordlessly and found herself clinging to him, realizing he was suddenly the confident one and she was glad.

Logan took a deep breath before he spoke again. "I don't remember much of how we were captured, but it was definitely an ambush, I think we had been somewhere along the border. Jean and Scott had already gotten through and we were supposed to meet them." His fingers started to play with her hair. "When I woke up in the lab I was afraid and angry. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid and I was so afraid that I'd never see you again and then I realized I had cursed you with that very thought. They dragged me into that room and you were just lying there on the metal slat, all drugged up. They forced your mutation to work and oh, baby, I wanted to hurt them all for what they did to you."

"To us," she interjected.

"To us," he whispered before continuing. "I suppose once my powers transferred into you they figured it be easier to deal with just one of us but also I think they truly thought I was dead. I know my heartbeat had stopped. I don't know how much time had passed but I woke up in the morgue, I don't think they were expecting it. I searched for you instead of leaving, I made everyone pay who I came across but it didn't seem to matter. They had already transferred you to some other facility, only a few had remained behind to get rid of any evidence. That was the problem back then; if they wanted to be smart about what they were doing, they'd constantly change labs."

She was quiet as he spoke.

"I spent months trying to track you and they all turned out to be dead ends. I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind either. Jeannie and Scott found me in some dive in Chicago. Jeannie had said she had sensed me and they had been looking for the both of us for some time. Frankly, I told them off for even coming back into the country but they seemed to just blow it off as though I was just crazy, wasn't exactly healthy at the time, but they both knew it was a risk and even if I was fine I would have kicked their asses for being that stupid. I mean that's just when we found out Jeannie was pregnant with Nathan."

She shifted slightly in his lap and his hand quickly smoothed back her hair. "It's alright," he whispered. "Anyways, they took me back to Canada and I had the land here so this was our land of opportunity I suppose. Jeannie tried to sense you but she never could get a good read on you. Eventually, I had to tell her to stop trying because we could tell the strain of her power use was affecting her pregnancy."

She realized that as he spoke about Jean, she hadn't taken the time to mourn her death or wonder what had happened to everyone else. Before when Scott and Nathan had spoke of her, to her Jean had been only a ghost, a name, a woman she had not known and now she realized Jean had died and she had known her, she'd had a life with her as friends, as mentor and student, as team mates. Quietly, she mourned her friend realizing later she'd have to pay her respects. It was too much she supposed to have Jean alive and around as well, it was a miracle in itself that she had found both Logan and Scott again. Logan's smooth voice brought her back to reality.

"The only way I can figure it is that there had been a camera system back at the lab where both you and I had been at and so those bastards had gotten word that I was alive. I was still a loose end." His voice carried off suddenly as he became quiet.

She tilted her head so she could get a better look at him. "Logan, what is it?"

She noticed his hands clenched. "I think there's good reason you can't remember what those bastards did to you the second time round. I hope you never get those memories back. We all knew it had to have been awful when we realized what had to have happened to make you the way you were."

She looked at him in confusion. "So you found me again?"

"No," he answered quietly with his voice strained. "You found us."

"What do you mean?" she asked suddenly as she pulled back so she could look him in the eye.

"Darlin'," he cracked his eyes misty with emotion. "Nobody blames you for the way you were."

"What are you talking about?" she asked fearfully.

"You were so different and we were all blind with happiness that we ignored the signs."

"Just tell me," she spoke desperately with her hands clenched in his shirt.

He reached up and held her hands in his tightly. "You found us a few months later right here on this land. We thought you'd done it on your own and in a way you had. With my senses that were suddenly permanently yours, you were able to track me but you weren't alone in doing it. They'd made you into their next soldier, their Weapon X."

"No," she gasped and tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her.

"No, please Marie, it isn't your fault. You had no idea. They'd brainwashed you."

Her mouth gaped in horror at the truth he was telling her.

"They thought they'd done such a good job with you that they trusted you to get rid of us on your own. They didn't want the old Weapon X causing problems and they knew about Jean and how powerful she could be. The people who ran the labs hated mutants and could only stomach using only a handful. You were suppose to keep in contact with your superiors every three days and best I can figure is you found us on a day after you'd already made contact and well by the third day we'd found out what was really going on."

"What did I do?" she whispered in horror.

"Nothing at first, and that was the thing you did nothing, you were for the most part unresponsive but we had just told ourselves it was because of whatever you had gone through and we couldn't have been closer to the truth. I was so happy to have you back, that at first I'd just let all the little things go. The coldness in your eyes, the way you hardly responded to me but then I started to notice the way you'd watch each of us when you figured no one was looking and I recognized the look and I could see what was going on through your mind, because I'd been there."

He sighed as he pulled her closer against his chest despite her protest.

"Up until the third day, for the most part Scott, Jeannie and I were with you for most of the time, except at night when you'd sleep with me but somehow you knew Jeannie was just waiting outside, because as a doctor she was waiting for the signs of the distress we assumed you would eventually go through. You never did though, you never had nightmares, and in fact you slept soundly."

"Didn't we...?"

He smiled at her sadly and shook his head. "No, we may have slept in the same bed but we weren't physically together. I figured you just weren't ready to be touched after being in the labs."

She nodded quietly.

"Jeannie had already had her concerns about you and I suggested we see what would happen if I left you alone with them. I had a feeling you wouldn't take us all on with me around. Also, we were concerned for Jean and the baby, you seemed to of taken an interest in her and we wouldn't dare leave you alone with her without Scott, plus we trusted she could handle you with her powers."

"And then?" she whispered fearfully.

"I didn't go far but I made sure you wouldn't be able to sense me and I knew you'd be smart enough not to try anything even after a half hour, you wanted to ensure that I was really gone. Jean was speaking to me telepathically about what was going on. It wasn't until about after the hour mark did things start to happen. I remember seeing it from Jeannie's eyes as I was linked with her. Scott had gone into the kitchen giving you minutes alone with Jean. I could see you just staring at her and I felt like prey even from a distance. She asked you what was wrong and you stood up, stalked over to her, and asked if you could feel the baby. Jean was nervous but she was hopeful that you taking a vocal interest meant you were doing better."

She curled her head against his neck as she listened, her mouth dry, as she felt sick.

"The only thing that had given you away was this tiny flicker in your eyes just a second before you rested your hand on her stomach and I screamed through the link and Jeannie moved out of the way just a second before you made contact. I remember running as fast as I could back towards the house, still seeing it all through Jean's eyes. She was gripped with fear when she spotted the tips of your bone claws peeking through the very hand you were going to touch her with. She put the chair in between the two of you and called for Scott and you leapt forward in attack but she held you back with her powers and she begged you to stop, to listen to them."

She found herself biting her bottom lip as she wanted to disappear. Logan wrapped his arms around her shaking form and whispered into her ear, "Shh, it wasn't your fault, darlin'. It wasn't you."

He kissed the top of her forehead and she released her lip. "Anyways, Jeannie tried getting into your head but she couldn't so she could only try and talk to you. I remember seeing Scott come back into the room slowly and you didn't like that at all. You hissed and picked up a lamp and chucked it at Jean, which she had to move out of the way from, breaking her concentration. You were free from her power and Scott attacked you trying to take you to the ground but you swiped him with your claws."

"The marks on his neck," she gasped in shame.

"Yes," Logan murmured. "But it wasn't life threatening, in fact most of your movements weren't as fast as you could have been, it was like you were giving them a chance. At that point, I had burst back into the house, I remember you gazing at the blood on your claws, and then looking at both Scott and Jean in confusion and suddenly when you looked back at me it was as if you recognized me as more than just a target. When you realized what you had done you just snapped. You started clawing at yourself and screaming and I had to hold you down. You raged and you raged until you wore yourself out. When you woke up again we had you restrained and you were still wild but you started to have your lucid moments where you started to break free from the hold those son of a bitches had had on you."

She made a small sound as she tried to cope with what he was telling her. "Scott was fine, I was fine and both Jeannie and the baby were doing fine. It seemed that the further time you had away from the lab the more you came back to yourself and we all helped you through it. I won't lie and say it wasn't difficult because it was but I never gave up and neither did you."

He started to rock back in the chair lightly. "We always kept an eye out for any of them trying to find you again, but it seemed where ever you last contacted them was somewhere further away from us. I think," he paused for a moment. "I truly believe that the reason you never contacted them after you found us was because part of you was still in there trying to fight the programming they'd given you."

"That's wishful thinking," she murmured bitterly against his shoulder.

"No, darlin' you know I ain't that type of man. If you hadn't of been fighting it you wouldn't have hesitated so much, you would have taken us all on no matter."

"I'm just glad no one was seriously hurt," she whispered.

"It's okay," he spoke quietly. "You were so strong, baby. You're the strongest person I know."

"So I got better?"

"Yeah, we even all started functioning again like regular people, like a real couple. We started to build Scott and Jean's house."

She realized abruptly that Logan's house, their old house must be somewhere on the lot and not once had she wondered where he'd truly lived.

"Eventually, Jean was ready to have the baby but there appeared to be complications with Nathan, Jean kept saying she thought something was wrong. So we realized we had to go into the main cities to find a doctor who would help mutants. It was dangerous going into the cities because most of the riots occurred there. Mutants would control some cities but the governments policed others, it was a constant war ground. We did find a doctor though, our reputation as the X-Men helpful with the mutant fighters. Jean delivered Nathan with assistance in a small hospital, both mother and son appeared fine. It would be later on that we'd realize the complications with Nathan and the virus and the strain it had on Jean. However, we turned out to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The government had set off various bombs in the area we were in knowing how it was primarily mutant ground. You and I somehow got separated but you stayed with Jean and the baby. Jean told me you did everything to protect them, took the bullets meant for them, pushed them when Jean was too weak. The bombs caused a fire to spread and you guys ended up being cornered. You found a small emergency shaft elevator that had been damaged but looked like it could hold enough weight for Jean and the baby. Jean argued with you but you pushed her in and made sure they got out. The building blew up seconds before Jean and Nathan had exited and both Scott and I had been on the other side."

He paused as a strangled sigh escaped him, his head suddenly burrowing against hers.

"Jean and the baby needed to be safe so Scott went with them even though Jean still argued. I stayed and I looked for you, I couldn't believe you'd be dead, not after everything we'd been through and survived. But the charge had gone off so close to you and the government forces were already moving in through the carnage. I found so many charred bodies but I couldn't be sure if any of them where yours and then I found it, I found your wedding ring beside a charred body and when I touched the body it turned to ash. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to leave you."

They clung to each other in the darkness as they relived the nightmare together.

"Scott came back and pulled me out of it and well the days, months and years after that were pretty much nothing to me, I don't even call it living. You know what happened to Jean and Nathan's life. We can't know for sure what happened to you, but you survived, you could have been picked up by a separate group, at that point there were so many different groups vying for control. From what I've heard now, some of the labs kept some of the mutants they considered to have potential in a sort of locked down stasis, hoping to one day be able to re use them."

"But they never did," she whispered. "They forgot us."

He nodded quietly as he wrapped his arms around her. "I didn't forget you," he whispered.

Slowly, she turned around so she could look at him. "But I forgot you," she murmured in regret.

He smiled at her gently. "No, not really darlin', you found me."

She moved her arms around so she could hug him. "I'm glad," she whispered suddenly feeling exhausted after the emotional rollercoaster they had just gone through.

For a few more moments they sat silently together each grasping what they had now, Logan had her and she had the knowledge of the truth she had forgotten and she had her husband, the man she loved wrapped around her.

"Logan?"

He grunted.

"Come to bed," she spoke as she stood up and held his hand.

His eyes warmed up and he stood with her as he followed her back inside. They took the spare bedroom and settled beside each other under the sheets. For the moment she was content just to feel him beside her, to have his scent surrounding her, more importantly feel his grip holding her, protecting her, and for the first time ever she fell asleep with a small smile on her face.

She awoke peacefully but as the seconds ticked by, she was immediately aware that something was different then usual. Fingers tightened across her stomach and she realized they weren't her own. The large hand pulled her back causing her backside to come in contact more snugly with a strong body. Logan was in bed with her. The events from the night before flashed through her mind and she relaxed as her mind became more aware, her consciousness trying to fight it's way through the foggy haze of sleep that threatened to drag her back down into it's abyss.

"For a moment I was afraid it was just a dream," Logan whispered against her neck suddenly. His body was completely still, hiding the fact that he was awake.

She rolled over so she could face him and the whole time his hand never moved from her body. She gazed at him warmly and was concerned to see that beneath his hazel eyes she could see the fear he spoke of, wondering if he was sane, thinking that once again he was imagining her in bed with him. She snuggled as close as she could get while still being able to meet his eyes. Reaching up she caressed his cheek and let her touch linger openly on his face.

"It's not a dream."

He nodded slightly and let his grip settle on her waist pulling her closer until their bodies melded together.

"I like this," she murmured against his chest contently as she relaxed in his arms, embracing his scent as she listened to his heartbeat.

She'd wanted to say she'd missed waking up with him but in truth, she hadn't been aware of the loss. Thirty years may have passed but she knew nothing of that time. Even though time felt fuzzy to her, the best she could say was it had only felt like yesterday that she remembered being with him, but now that she remembered him again, it was as though her head refused to believe the difference, but her heart knew. Somehow, she felt the ache of the time she'd lost with him.

However, to him it had been thirty years and she could openly see his pain and feel his sorrow. The world had moved on without her and she was waiting in vain to catch up. Lying in his arms, she felt normal, she felt right. Being surrounded by him helped re-instate the memories she'd acquired of their life together. She was no longer hesitant, she wanted him, she wanted to be free to love him and she wanted their life together again and somehow she was going to have to show him that it was possible, that she was still the same person, because she no longer had her doubts so neither should he.

"You're thinking to hard about something.”

She smirked. "No, I'm not."

His eyebrow rose up. "Your forehead was creased and you were gnawing at your lip," he stated in fact.

She shrugged. "Maybe I just wanted you to take a hint and do the gnawing yourself," she teased.

She expected him to tease her back but his face became serious. "Are you sure?"

"Logan," she spoke as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Just stop it, stop the worrying, and stop the guilt, because I remember alright. I love you and I want to move forward. I want to make new memories with you. I know it's hard and impractical to say but I just want to move on from wherever we had left off in the good times, and that means you need to stop treating me like some kind of china doll."

Her buried his face against hers and whispered, "I just want to take care of you."

"You need to take care of yourself as well, Logan."

He pulled back and sighed. "You're right," he murmured. "It shouldn't be harder for me, not after what you've been through."

"Logan," she spoke clearly as she propped herself up on her elbow. "Maybe that's true, but think about this, I wasn't the one who spent thirty years thinking you were dead, thinking I had no life left to live. If you ask me, you got the raw deal. I'm not sure I could have done it. It's alright for you to feel this way."

Slowly, a small smile found its way onto his face as he reached up and caressed her hair. "It's too early for this."

She leaned back down against him and bundled the covers around them. "I agree, but whatever needs to be said should be said so we can start fresh. I'm ready to be everything you need again. I'm ready to feel whole, but are you?"

"Of course, darlin'," he spoke clearly, his voice strong. "I want the same thing. I have you back now and I don't want to change that."

She kissed the inside of his palm as his hand trailed along her cheek. "Good."

His eyes came to life as she smiled at him and she wrapped her arms around him. She felt sleep beckoning her again but she fought it, wanting to do something important. She leaned in and she noticed the way his eyes became clear as he focused on her movements. Gently, she laid her lips upon his and kissed him softly. He responded back and although it didn't have the same fire as the time in the forest it had a spark all to it on its own. It was gentle and soft, letting a calm spread between them as they both opened up to one another. The kiss wasn't rushed and it didn't lead into anything else, instead they let themselves become locked in the moment refusing to let time carry them away.

Licking her lips, she fell against her pillow in satisfaction and murmured a contented sigh. She opened her eyes to find Logan's head resting on her pillow with a similar look on his face.

Her hand settled on his chest just above his heart. "Stay with me."

"Always," he answered.

She found her eyes closing; her body unable to refuse the warmth and comfort that surrounded her. It was still early and she was happy to spend a few more hours wrapped up in bed with Logan. He didn't seem to mind either as she found his heartbeat slowing down slightly.

"Logan," she murmured just before sleep over took her.
He grunted.

"When we wake up later," she paused to lick her lips.

"Yes?"

"I want you to take me home."

His hands tightened around her back. "Of course," he answered his voice full of heavy emotion.

Walking just behind Logan she couldn't see much past him, her eyes on the center of his back, her nose literally a few inches away from his shirt. He was walking slowly and she matched his pace but found her footsteps to be hesitant to follow. Logan's feet dragged with each step and she knew she wasn't the only one who felt the hesitation.

She'd wanted to do this. She'd been the one to ask and so she had to follow through strongly. Logan had been quiet since they had entered the forest. At first, she'd recognized the area and the paths, until they continued deeper. The brush becoming thick on either side of her but she noticed that the pathway was clear and wide enough for a small vehicle to come through.

She shook her head as the present day forest disappeared from her view and in its place, she could see herself running, running as fast as she could along the path but coming from the direction they were now presently heading towards. Her legs were pumping hard and fast as she ran, her expression tight with tension and concern. She whipped along the wind as fast as her body allowed, which with her training as both an X- man and as Weapon X, added with Logan's powers was faster then the average person but she still didn't think she'd make it in time. There seemed to be a shortage of time.

A scream cut out across the night and she pushed herself further through the darkness without any light. The scream belonged to Jean. It was the third one she'd heard. She'd heard the first from their side of the land which was a stretch even for her but Jean was in pain and she sounded like she was outside.

A red beam shot up into the sky like a flare and she knew Scott and Jean were making their way towards her. The sound of an engine somewhere behind her roared with life and she knew Logan was gaining ground on the large four-wheeler ATV they owned.

From the light of the moon, she could make out two figures, as she was able to spot the edge of the forest. Once she was closer, she could make out every detail of Scott and Jean. Scott's face was tense as he practically dragged Jean beside him. Rogue dropped to her knees just in front of them at the exact same time Jean staggered. Both she and Scott cradled Jean as she lay on the ground.

Jean was breathing more deeply then even she was after her run. Sweat plastered Jean's red hair against her forehead.

"Jean?" she spoke fearfully.

Jean's face creased in pain. The other woman's hand latching on tightly to hers and she could suddenly see Jean more clearly as light came quickly from behind them as Logan approached.

"The baby," Jean gasped. "Something's wrong with the baby."

"Marie?" Logan called, which seemed odd since he wasn't close to her yet, he sounded like he was right beside her.

"Marie."

Her head swam and she blinked suddenly against the sun, realizing it was daytime and not the night of her memory. She looked up and Logan was frowning at her.

"I'm alright," she spoke as she moved up closer.

Logan opened his arms up and she slid up beside him and leaned against him. They continued to walk but she noticed he sniffed his way along her skin checking her scent for any change. The truth was that she did feel fine. She felt better knowing who she was. When the memories continued to trickle through her head they were no longer painful and instead they flowed gently because they were no longer forced upon her, she was learning to accept them. Glancing at the path around her, she noted that it was still well kept.

They'd been walking for just over ten minutes and she knew it couldn't be much further. It was a surprise at first when she spotted the house so suddenly. She'd imagined it being as open as Scott's house was but when the sun no longer glared before her she realized it was exactly how she remembered it.

The forest didn't exactly end around the structure like the Summer's home, instead the forest curled around it, protecting it. She knew that at the back of the house there was a small open area but nowhere near as large as Scott's backyard. She knew that trees then sprouted up from the ground leading the way to an isolated river that if you followed would lead into a private lake.

The house itself was no were near as large as the Summer's, it had been built decades before. Logan had owned it even before they had gotten married but she remembered through the years they had kept it up and repaired it. The wood was much darker and looked more like a cabin then an actual house but when they'd been together, they had added on to it. It was two storey's high with a storage room in the basement. They'd also eventually added a porch on to the front and on the back there was a bigger deck.

She moved forward all on her own and Logan was no longer latched to her side. Tentatively she stepped on the first step and then the other as she made her way up towards the door. She glanced to the right and frowned when there was no bench swing dangling from the rafters. She had fond memories of spending nights outside with Logan on it. Instead, two rusted chains hung pitifully in mourning.

She turned to look for Logan but before she'd even turned around his hand was suddenly on her lower back, telling her he was there and encouraging her silently. She steadied herself, reached for the golden doorknob, and found it easily turned under her touch. The door eased open smoothly and she found herself thinking it odd that it didn't squeak in protest from un-use, from her being absent for decades, which was absurd since clearly Logan was still living in it.

A gasp escaped her as she entered the house. The familiarity of it all, the wave of memories sprouting up around her as she remembered being happy in this place. Although, the house looked like an old-fashioned cabin on the outside, the inside was just as decorated as the Summer's house was. There was a small hallway by the door, a living room to the side, a kitchen with a table and four chairs, a small bathroom and a closet. There was a smaller door in the kitchen that she knew led down into the storage. In front of her past, a well-worn animal skin rug, were stairs leading up.

"It's not much," Logan whispered behind her.

It took her a moment to find her voice but when she did, it was strong. "It's always been enough, Logan."

First, she headed towards the kitchen with her fingers trailing along the walls. The kitchen wasn't large but it had always been enough for them. Her fingers danced along the table and she was glad to find it was the same table Logan had furnished himself. She smiled to herself, recalling all the mornings they had spent making breakfast and flirting and how many times they had always gotten carried away and breakfast was left burning and no longer edible. Past the storage door there was a screen door that she knew led out on to the back porch.

Logan was so quiet behind her that it surprised her when he moved up swiftly behind her and kissed her on her shoulder, his hands coming to rest on her hips as he swayed her slightly.

"I've become a much better cook since you've been g.. .away," he whispered in her ear. "Too much time for actual concentration and attention."

She supposed it was a good thing he hadn't burned down the house but she knew he didn't mean it in a good way, he'd been alone, alone in this house, their house and he’d had nothing to distract him, nothing to make him feel alive.

He kissed her shoulder again and then moved back, allowing her to glide into the next room. The living room was much bigger then the kitchen and took up more than half of the first floor. There was a large fireplace on the far wall with a rug in front of it. In the middle of the room was a long couch with a coffee table and then a loveseat and in the fair corner there was a small desk.

She moved into the middle of the room, the spot in front of the fireplace had been her favourite; wrapped up in blankets, surrounded by Logan. She noted the long couch and the fact that it seemed more worn down then the rest of the furniture. She frowned taking in the worn out cushions and the noticeable claw marks where the foam stuffing peeked out. There was a pile of blankets and pillows dumped at the end of the couch that were covered in Logan's scent. In fact, the living room looked like the most lived in place. The rug was worn down and at least two shades lighter then she remembered. Empty whiskey bottles and beer cans littered the floor underneath the coffee table, and on top of it was a well-used tray filled with cigar ashes. Her nose twitched taking in the smell, wondering how she'd failed to notice the second she'd walked in.

A piece of paper caught her attention that was sticking out from underneath one of the couch cushions. Moving forward she pulled it out delicately and found herself looking at her own eyes. She held an old photograph in her hand. It had obviously been folded several times; the edges were fuzzy with evidence that it had been shoved into someone's pocket more then once. She was smiling in the photo and she just knew Logan was standing somewhere behind the camera, just from the look in her eye. She couldn't recall exactly if he was the one taking the picture or the exact timeline of its capture but she knew it was sometime before the cure, before their world had fallen apart on them, before they'd abandoned each other. Gently, she put the photo back in its unusual place and smiled as she looked around realizing even through it all they had built a happy life together.

The exact answer as to why the living room and couch was so worn down came to her when she spotted the stairs. Logan had been leaning against the archway with his back to her the entire time she'd been inspecting the living room. She knew with out a doubt what he needed was a good cigar to occupy him with but he was behaving himself. Her eyes followed the stairs and she was perturbed by the darkness that slithered from above down towards her. The darkness screaming at her that it was to be ignored, that the upstairs somehow did not exist.

She stepped on the first step and then the second with her hand reaching for the rail. She pulled back at the feel of the wood. Gazing at her hand, she noted the filth and dust that covered her like a second skin. Looking down at the two steps she'd passed, she could clearly make out her foot prints in the dust. No one had been upstairs in a very, very long time.

With her eyes narrowing in concern, she looked towards Logan but found he still had his back to her. His body was hunched over protectively. Turning her gaze back up the stairs, she thought about continuing without him, seeing it for herself because she wasn't afraid. Except that was the problem, she wasn't the one that was afraid, the one who had to see it the most. Logan hadn't been upstairs in some time, evident in the dust and the fact that he had clearly been living in the living room; she hoped it hadn't been like this since the moment she'd disappeared. He needed to do it as well. He needed to heal. There was nothing to fear anymore. She was with him. They were together. They could do it together.

"Logan," she called out softly.

His back straightened but he didn't move otherwise.

"Logan," she spoke tenderly again. "Come on."

She moved her arm out from her until her hand waited patiently outstretched for him to take. He turned and glanced at her and she smiled at him despite the confliction on his face and still found him as every bit as beautiful as she always had. With out speaking he grasped her hand and followed her up the stairs. His footsteps no longer dragged behind her as he became more assured with each step, her back pressing against him as they went, their bodies constantly touching.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, the darkness was explained by the fact that all the blinds and drapes were drawn, blocking out the sun. The upstairs was smaller then the downstairs, the hallway more narrow. All the doors were shut, there were a total of three. The one at the far end she knew was an extra room that in the past had housed the tv and electronics that they'd hardly ever used, except to keep in contact, keep up to date on the world but also for their hockey nights and movie nights that they had always kept up.

The door right in front of her lead to the bathroom, which had actually been one of the most well furnished rooms. They'd spent a lot of time making it just perfect. She pushed the door open and coughed against the dust; already moving towards the blinds which she drew back only a bit. Sunlight streamed across the room and she felt her emotions ride her full force.

A large mirror covered almost one whole wall where two sinks sat in a forest green counter top. The large mirror had served several purposes, for one she knew they had developed a fetish for doing it in front of the large mirror so they could watch themselves. Logan moved up beside her as though he sensed her memories and let his hands wondered her back and shoulders.

There was a shower stall directly across from the mirror and she blushed at the memories, knowing there was a built in ledge in the shower that wasn't exactly used to hold soap and shampoos. The bathroom was large enough that there was also an above averaged sized tub that took up the other side of the room. She crossed the room and let her hand smooth itself against the cool porcelain. The tub had been a guilty pleasure of hers; something Logan hadn't been able to deny her. She'd been the one to talk him into joint baths and he had developed a sudden fetish of his own, the two of them soaking in the bath together. They’d had plenty of time for it when they had gotten married, alone up here before the reality of the war. It was designed so that it could even turn into a whirlpool if they wanted.

Lifting her hand up she ignored the dust, knowing it was no surprise the tub hadn't been used in some time. Logan's nightmares of being trapped underwater surrounded by green light as needles pierced his skin had always affected how he felt about water. He only ever went in if she was with him.

She stared at the tub fondly, let her hand wander around Logan's waist, and moved towards the door. She was mindful of how quiet Logan was and kept their pace measured as they headed for the last door. She could feel him tense beside her. She opened the last door and found she had to nudge her shoulder against the wood. The door must have been shut so forcefully the last time its shape had changed and had become wedged in. With a small grunt, she got the door open and she stepped inside.

She had to close her eyes at the scents that assaulted her. The room was musty but she could make out her and Logan's scents clearly in the room. The room was like a museum, nothing seemed to be touched. Dust settled everywhere. The bedroom was just a bit smaller then the bathroom. There was a large closet on one side where she could see her old clothes peeking through the half-opened door. A magnificent antique dresser was on the other side with a vanity like mirror that was cracked as though a fist had smashed against it. The dresser was littered in her things mostly, a brush, some hair products, make - up and other things. There was picture of her and Logan on their wedding day in a silver frame sitting surprisingly neatly on the end of the dresser. She remembered Scott and Jean had given them the antique frame for an anniversary with the picture inside. Logan had called Scott a pansy but he'd been the one to put it on the dresser.

The queen-sized bed took up the rest of the space. She remembered at the time when they had gotten it, thinking it was a bit extravagant and she thought there was no point knowing every night they slept closely beside each other, her body tucked against Logan's with his arms around her. She smiled remembering the exact look Logan had given her saying 'Darlin' just believe me on this, you're gunna love the extra space for our additional activities', his eyebrow raised up suggestively.

The one thing that struck her as odd was the fact that the bed was stripped bare and yet everything else had stayed the same. She wondered if perhaps the sheets were the same one's she'd seen downstairs, the well used sheets that Logan was using to sleep with on the couch and maybe even the floor.

Her happy trip down memory lane took a sharp turn when she noted the large stain on the mattress. It was a deep brown colour now but she knew that at first it had been deep red. She gasped and took a step back as the memory shook her. The image came quickly and easily but it wasn't the process that had her shaken it was the memory itself.

Sheets covered the bed and the night air cooled around them as she was curled up on her side with Logan spooning her. His arms weren't around her but he was whispering comfortingly in her ear. She looked nervous and her eyes were wild and alert. It was after the incident when she had attacked Scott and Jean. In reality, she knew it was some time after that because she was no longer restrained. Logan was trying to comfort her.

Slowly, his hand slid down her arm and she allowed it. Then his lips caressed her ear and then moved down the side of her neck. Tentatively, his hand moved down her hips and lower until his hand disappeared under the sheet. She made a small mewling noise, like an animal.

"That's it baby," he whispered. "Just let it go. I got you."

He was hard against her backside and she could feel a growl he was trying to keep hidden vibrate between them and his hips bucked against her. She snarled at him and he stopped, his body freezing like a deer under a predator's gaze. She swiftly twisted out of his grip and landed on top of him with her knees on either side of his waist, pinning him to the bed. He still didn't move and he kept his eyes trained on hers. She could still feel that he was hard and he was controlling himself.

She growled and leaned forward as she bit his collarbone. His back arched up off the bed. She wanted control. She needed to have control of the situation. To make her own decisions, her own choices. It had been a long time since she'd been able to do what she wanted, to be able to feel anything other than what she had had been programmed to feel.

She pressed her body against his and he began to respond but always letting her have the control. She worked her mouth along his chest and up his neck where she sniffed along his skin, scenting him, assuring herself he was her mate. Her hands kneaded the muscles in his arms. Her fingernails were digging into his skin and she forced his limbs as deep as she could into the mattress, asserting her position and he grunted in recognition.

Her mouth found his and he opened it eagerly. The kiss lacked any of their usual finesse, it was harsh and demanding as though, she was feeding off him. As they kissed his one hand moved slowly towards her ass and he gently squeezed it. She moaned against his mouth in response and bit his lip. Then using his hand on her ass, he pushed her closer so the tip of his erection rubbed against her entrance. She hissed at him and he pulled his hand back. She growled low at him as she moved her mouth along his neck, her teeth settling just above his pulse. She paused waiting to see what he would do and when he submitted she pulled her teeth back and licked the skin almost affectionately.

She settled on him and groaned at the feel of him inside of her. She arched her back as they began to move and when he reached up so he could cradle her body against his, she didn't object. She pressed down and he eagerly moved his hips up. Each of their grunts mingled with each other's. His lips hovered above her breasts and she made another animal like sound in her throat as he licked the skin.

Her hands grasped his shoulders and she could feel the excitement build until it was about to boil over. She came with a scream that muffled out all other sound and when she glanced down at Logan, she found him pinned to the bed in another way. A strange grimace on his face.

Her head quirked to the side. Blood poured down his shoulders. Her bone claws were protruding from her knuckles and were buried deep in Logan's shoulders, pinning him. Her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward and sniffed the blood. Logan gasped at the sudden movement and she pulled back a bit. She felt confusion for a moment and then there must have been a coldness, a look in her eyes because Logan suddenly looked at her in fear and in desperation. She started to think of him as her target; she was supposed to follow her programming.

"Marie," he gasped harshly.

She shook her head at the thoughts that weren't meant to be hers and her eyes widened in shock. A strangled sob escaped her as she released her claws and stumbled off the bed. She pushed herself into the farthest corner and wrapped her arms around her knees as she started to shake.

"No, no, no," she whispered over and over.

Logan stood off the bed with his wounds already healed and a look of understanding passing over his face.

"Marie," he called. "It's alright darlin'. I'm okay."

"But I'm not," she whispered.

He moved forward and she screamed.

Her eyes came back and focused on the dusty room before her and she jumped back at the sudden memory. She bolted past Logan and headed for the bathroom, where she proceeded to throw up.

Logan was calling after her and she quickly rinsed her mouth out and splashed water on her face despite her shaking hands. Breathing deeply she leaned against the cool surface of the mirror and closed her eyes.

She'd been a monster. How could he of even loved her. Trusted her. Wanted her until this day.

She must have been speaking out loud because Logan's voice spilled into the room.

"Because," he started quietly. "You've always trusted every part of me, all of me in any given moment. The only person whose never looked at me like a thing to be used, an animal to fear. Because I know how it feels, but it was never out of pity darlin'. Because I love you, all of you. I wanted to be with you, to help you. I needed you. I still do."

"God," she breathed, her breath causing the mirror to fog. She refused to look up and met his gaze. "Tell me that never happened again," she demanded. She hoped the answer was no because somehow he knew exactly what she was thinking about, which had to mean there weren't many bad experiences to choose from.

"No," he answered. "You didn't let me touch you for some time. Or more to the point you wouldn't let yourself touch me." His voice was getting closer.

His hand touched her shoulder. "Really, Marie, it turned out to be a bit of a good thing."

"How the fuck is me cutting you up like that during sex a good thing!" she screamed at him and pushed herself towards the mirror and away from him.

His hands grasped her arms gently but then he suddenly pulled her back until she was pressed up against him, their eyes locking in the mirror. Her face tear stained and his eyes becoming more alive as he let the confliction dissolve.

"You're right," he hissed in her ear deeply. "It was rougher then we usually get," he emphasized with a jerk of his hips against her backside. "And you do tend to like it rough, darlin'."

Her eyes met his in the glass. "Let go of me, Logan," she fumed at his sudden change in attitude.

He released her but didn't move away and she didn't move forward, their bodies still pressed together.

"I'm not goin' to coddle you, Marie, not after all these years," he spoke low his voice becoming husky as he buried his nose in her hair. "You told me to stop treating you like your breakable. You wanted the truth. You wanted me to face this as well."

The side of his face turned towards the mirror and his eyes flickered heatedly at her. "Well, which is it Marie, you want what you will always be able to have and the baggage that comes with us, with me, with the truth, or do you want to run back to Summer's, to Nathan's cold bed and play house?"

He turned his head again so his lips hovered over her ear. His other hand was running down her back and towards her ribs and moving to cup her hip.

"Well, which is it baby?" he purred almost teasing her.

She wanted to be angry with him, she really did but she couldn't. His sudden aggressive like behaviour was in reality true to form to who he was and she was always one of the only people he knew it was safe to be around when he got down and dirty. He wasn't aggressive in the sense that he would ever hurt her, but in that, he did it to tease her, to get her to come out and play with him, let the Rogue out for his Wolverine. He was sick of pretending he was fine, of walking this unknown path with her and he wanted answers. He wanted to move on and suddenly she was holding back, she wasn't letting him.

"You're not like him," he whispered, both of his hands settled on her hips. "They can't understand our natures. We're not monsters and we're not wrong, we're not nothing. We're just different, we know how the world works, how cruel it can be, how fucking un¬fair it is. You goin' let them win, baby, let those bastards who took you, make you ashamed of who you are. You're a good person. Nathan is alive simply because of you and I've never held it against him. He is a symbol of the sacrifices you are always willing to make, the choices you make for the good for others and never yourself. Never yourself, baby. Don't let them and that world we were once caught in drag you back down and drown you in their fear."

He was almost begging her now.

"After...after that night there was more of you in your eyes then ever before. It had woken you up. You fought the instincts they instilled in you and the trauma of it brought you back, made you more real to yourself. You hated what you had done and you fought it all. You fought to have yourself back, to have your life back. To be who you wanted to be. To be Marie and not some fucking number. You came back to me, darlin'. You made it so you were no longer afraid."

He kissed her neck sweetly and she watched him intently in the mirror, the way his hands curled around her body possessively but gently, always giving her the space to move if she wanted. He recognized her as his equal.

"You have a right to be angry," he whispered clearly. "A right to rage against the world for what you've been through, but not to be afraid. No longer afraid."

He started to pay more attention to her neck with his lips. She felt her mind clear as her body urged her to respond. It was amusing that she suddenly felt clear headed under his attentions when usually she melted under his touch, but in a way, he had always given her sound of mind. She glanced at her knuckles and faced the fact that bone claws lay beneath them. She could pretend they weren't there, but she could feel them and she realized she had a responsibility in accepting them, in learning control. It took her a second to realize she had control, that she may have claws but she wasn't a wild animal without thought, without conscience.

The scientists hadn't given her the claws, Logan had. They were a part of him and he lived with them and so could she. To refuse them would mean that in someway she would be refusing a part of Logan. His powers had saved her life, no matter the argument. She was with him simply because of his gift and she would be with him for a long time because of it, there was nothing more concrete.

Logan was rubbing himself against her and she quirked a sensual smile in the mirror. Her eyes becoming focused as she enjoyed watching his attentions to her in the full length mirror. They stood just past the sinks where the mirror continued towards the floor and the shower stall was somewhere behind them.

His teeth grazed her skin lightly at the same time his hands rubbed her body and she moaned.

"Logan," she murmured.

"Yes," he growled suggestively against her skin.

"Make love to me."

For a second his lips stopped what they were doing but his hands continued to wander her body and she could feel the bulge in his jeans press more deeply against her. His eyes glanced at her in the mirror, gleaming with an anticipation and almost relief. Her gaze was confident and determined as her eyes called to him. A wolf- like grin graced his face and he gently reached up and tilted her head towards him so they could kiss.

The minute their lips met, she realized she was a fool for even doubting them together. The kiss was smooth and sensual at first and then more heated. Her hand reached behind her and rubbed his hard stomach. With desire coursing through her veins she tried desperately to yank his top out of his jeans. He chuckled against her lips.

With their lips still kissing and one hand massaging her left breast, he used his other to reach down and un-do his belt. He yanked it and pulled it out never missing a beat. She growled in frustration at his tactics and turned around despite his grip, she knew he could still watch her in the mirror. However, what she wanted was something else. She pulled his shirt up and let him lift it over his head as she immediately latched her mouth against the muscles of his chest.

He was no longer laughing as she licked her way along his chest, allowing her mouth to settle against one nipple. He groaned as she licked, nipped and kissed her way along his skin. She also groaned in satisfaction, knowing she'd wanted to do it since the moment she'd seen him without his shirt on. She could work his chest and stomach all day.

"Darlin' that feels fuckin' glorious but I have a problem," he groaned.

She didn't pull back from his chest but instead gazed up at him. "What?"

"You've got too many clothes on."

She quirked an eyebrow at him clearly annoyed with the interruption. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

He growled low as he suddenly yanked her up and latched his mouth onto hers again. His hands ripped her shirt open and she was sure she could vaguely hear buttons scattering on the tile floor but she didn't care. Once her shirt was gone she felt the cool touch of metal on her back as one claw slid out and snapped her bra in half. His lips moved down her chin, along her neck, her collarbone and finally he settled on her breasts as he lavished them with attention.

She arched her head back in satisfaction, her fingers roaming through his hair and he purred in return. His lips moved down her stomach affectionately. He had her pants un¬done and down before she'd even realized and somewhere in her desire filled haze she helped him by stepping out of them.

He fingered the outline of her underwear and then quickly ripped them off. He purred deeply and the rumble echoed within the room. He kissed his way up her inner thigh, rubbed his cheek against the skin, and then did the same to the other one as he covered her in his scent. Suddenly, his tongue snapped out and he licked her. She gasped loudly as her back arched.

"Logan!"

"Mmmmhmm," he purred as he continued.

He kept dragging it out teasingly and before she could complain, he was standing up behind her and he was pulling them both straight up in front of the mirror. He smirked at her in their reflection but his eyes were filled with love as he entered her from behind. She gasped in pleasure and never let her eyes travel away from his as they both watched each other in the mirror. His hands were positioned strongly on her hips.

Watching them together, watching the way he looked, so utterly powerful, beautiful, sexual, primal and at peace she knew she'd been correct when she'd wanted the mirror to expand to the whole wall all those years ago; a good investment indeed.

She swore her eyes were going to go cross-eyed if she continued to stare at the blue truck any longer. Nathan’s blue truck. Nathan’s blue truck that was currently parked on the driveway in front of the Summer’s house.

Sighing, she sat down on the last step of the front porch and let her eyes wander towards the forest line. Tilting her head she listened for any sound that would indicate Logan was close by. She sniffed the wind and was further assured that he was nowhere near. Although, to be fair his word was assurance enough, he’d promised and said he understood that she needed to speak with Nathan in private. It was hard not to worrying though, now that they were back together, now that she remembered, Logan could be visibly possessive.

He didn’t act like a jealous boyfriend, although it was in him to appear so. He was an extremely confident man but the only time she’d ever seen him be hesitant was around her. He knew she loved him, but it was hard to fight his basic feral nature with certain things, and she knew enough from acquiring her own nature from him to sympathize. She was his mate. He’d give her his word but that didn’t mean he could easily stop himself from letting it be known that she belonged to him.

Other men may not be taken seriously by Logan, but to the Wolverine any of them could be a challenge to his position, simply because he had to be known as the best there was and if his mate was seen even in the slightest as being anything but faithful it was a sign of weakness. He trusted her, but he didn’t always trust that those around them really understood. Understood their partnership and that even the slightest touch, the smallest look thrown her way would have to be dealt with

Logan cared for Nathan as much as he could. He cared for him like a team mate. Someone’s life that he had to make sure continued on to the best of his ability, anything less would be failure. He cared for him perhaps in a way like a nephew but not close enough for a son. She supposed he’d even call Nathan his friend. The truth was in many ways he considered Nathan an equal on some level, he knew the skills that he possessed, the intelligence that was behind the humour and he didn’t diminish it. However, there were some areas that Logan would definitely not consider Nathan to be an equal in and essentially it came down to her.

Nathan was not suppose to be even considered as one of her potential suitors. She imagined that if the circumstances had been different, her apparent interest would have been an insult to Logan. The thing was they both had Nathan to thank in getting them where they were, but even then Logan would be determined to make sure Nathan knew who was with who, who belonged to who and where the line was to be drawn. No matter the ties, no matter how close, if Logan, if the Wolverine felt the understanding wasn’t clear there’d be consequences.

She could hear Nathan in the house talking to Scott. She cringed at the tiredness that laced Nathan’s words. She hadn’t meant for him to get hurt, but she couldn’t argue with the reality of the situation. Just like Logan had his more primal nature, so did she and it was easier to associate it with her manifestation of Rogue. As of late she hadn’t felt the need to call herself Rogue, she was comfortable with just being Marie but she knew it wasn’t wise to bury the namesake and what came with it. Rogue would have her Wolverine no matter the terms. He was her mate and she couldn’t ignore it.

They’d be together despite the pain it might cause others, despite the disapproval that had occurred in their past. If Scott could change his mind and accept them she hoped Nathan was as open-minded. He was an intelligent man, but love and even the feeling of something less could make anyone narrow minded. She could accept that when it came to her and Logan they both had tunnel vision, but they didn’t consider it to be a bad thing.

The urge to wipe her hands on her jeans filled her and she was not at all surprised to find that sweat beaded her palms nervously. She was nervous. She would understand if Nathan hated her, but for his sake she truly wished he could be happy. Hate could be a poison.

Foot-steps approached suddenly and time seemed to speed up because abruptly the door was opening, she was standing up and both she and Nathan were mere feet apart staring at each other for the first time in two weeks.

“Nathan.”

He moved forward only enough for the door to close behind him. His face was hard and his eyes were hidden beneath his dark glasses.

“I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to call you,” he shot out cynically.

She hesitated and cast her eyes away feeling the bite of his words. When she gazed back up she saw the transformation as the lines around his mouth softened and regret poured into his features.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t…”

“No,” she interrupted quickly. “You aren’t the one who should be saying sorry.”

She noticed his hand clenched around the bag he was holding.

“You know, for the past two weeks I thought about what I would say to you, the accusation, the anger but it never lasted and some horrible part of me wanted it to last, wanted it to fill me up, but I couldn’t because…because what do you have to say sorry for.” He looked at her sharply. “Sorry that you found out who you were, sorry that you got your life back that had been brutally stolen from you, sorry that you found your husband. How can you say sorry for not loving me enough when you shouldn’t have to? I can’t hate you and I …can’t hate Logan.”

He placed the bag on the ground. “To be honest if it had of been me in his place I would have kicked my ass a long time ago. Taken you the moment I laid eyes on you, but he didn’t and you know in some kind of fucked up way I respect him more now then I ever did.”

He moved towards the steps.

“Nathan, please I…”

He interrupted her and surprised her by sitting down on the step. “Just stop.”

“Let me say it damn it!” she snapped through her emotion.

Nathan looked up at her and quirked a small smile. “Well what do you know a burst of emotion, some anger. It’s been what, only about two weeks since you’ve been back with him and I can already see the changes, see the glow to your skin. What kind of bastard would I be to get in the way of that?”

“Nathan,” she ground out through her teeth desperately. “Why are you being like this? Don’t put yourself down for something I did.”

“I’m not putting myself down. Aren’t you listening to me? Use your enhanced hearing if I’m not speaking loud enough. Yeah, I’m angry, yeah I’m upset but I’ll get over it, we all will and that’s the truth and all I’m doing is stating the truth.”

Slowly, she sat beside him. “Even so,” she whispered, feeling herself clam down. “I am sorry.”

He sighed. “Are you sorry you love him?”

They both sat looking out at the land in front of them.

“No.”

“A wife is supposed to love her husband.”

“Nathan, you’re the reason though that any of this happened. I came here as your girlfriend and…”

He interrupted and turned to stare at her. “Am I really the reason any of this happened?” he spoke seriously. “If you think about it, there’s another way to look at it.”

She was quiet as she listened to him.

“Dad told me everything, you know. It’s hard right now because I feel betrayed by him and not for the apparent reasons, but because he never told me about you my whole life and I don’t care what he says, you deserved to be spoken about. I deserved to know. Sacrifices can turn hollow when the legacy of them doesn’t carry on.”

Slowly, he took his glasses off. “I had a right to know about the woman who sacrificed herself so I could live. Maybe my mother and I would have gotten out of that war zone on our own but I don’t seriously believe that. She must have been weak from the troubled birth. The blast separated you all and all she and I had was you. You made sure we got out, you made sure that I would live and you lost your own life, the life you could have had with Logan all these years.”

His one blue eye glistened with unshed tears and she knew her eyes were a mirror image of emotion.

“I’m the reason neither of you got to be together. I stole your life from you, from him.”

“Nathan,” she spoke, her voice cracking. “No that’s…”

“You wanted to say sorry so desperately but it sickens me to hear the words from your mouth when my family owes everything to you.”

Her voice caught in her throat as he reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I knew the moment I met you in the diner that there was something there. It was as though I already knew you were important to me. You were right you know in your own way, the way you kept to yourself; it wasn’t the right kind of love between us. I understand now and I think that’s what helps.”

He smiled suddenly. “You remember when I took you on that picnic and you asked me why I put up with you?”

She nodded.

“And I said I felt like I wasn’t suppose to push you but I was suppose to be there for you?”

Again she nodded.

“I was right you know. I was supposed to be there in the way you were there for me all those years ago. Within all this pain and confusion it’s hard to deal with the contradicting emotions but I’m glad I got you here. Logan…” he paused as he licked his dry lips. “Logan is the one who’s suppose to push you. He knows you, knows when to kick your feet out from under you to make you stronger, to make you what you are meant to be. I was only holding you back.”

She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it.

“Don’t deny it.”

She closed her mouth and glanced back at the truck as she thought about it all.

“You make it sound like I’m some kind of hero,” she whispered.

He laughed lightly. “You are. You were the X-Men. You fought for more then just my survival.”

“You want me to accept the truth,” she stated as she rubbed her hands together and turned to catch his gaze. “Alright, but I have one for you. You didn’t steal my life. If I ever hear you say that again I will kick your fucking ass and don’t ever say it around Logan either. You’re mad at your father for not telling you, well you sitting her telling me you’re the reason for it all makes what I did less in my eyes if you want the truth. You being born wasn’t wrong, it was the fucking war.”

She saw him reach for his glasses and she grabbed him before he could.

“No more hiding,” she breathed. “Were you the one who told them about me before you were even born?”

He didn’t answer her and she was glad he didn’t try to. “Were you the one who developed the cure as a scheme?”

He moved his hand away from the glasses. “Were you the one who set the bombs off at the hospital? Were you the one who captured me and prodded me with drugs and tools?”

She clenched her fist. “I had a life before you were born, you know. A life with Logan yes, but a life spent in labs before. I was always on the run, Nathan. They knew about me. It was only a matter of time. It was war, a time of mistrust, of unrest. None of us were safe until it was over. So why don’t we all stop blaming ourselves and realize the ones to blame are probably dead or sentenced. For all I care they can go fuck themselves.”

She waited a moment and looked at him, waiting for his response.

“I can only wonder how my vocabulary would have turned out having both you and Logan around when I was younger, dad would have freaked.”

She looked at him in confusion and he only smiled at her, the hard lines fading from his face.

“It was a joke.”

“I know,” she muttered wryly.

“This is a bit of a mess, but I think we can work it out.”

“It doesn’t creep you out that I could have been your aunt like figure?”

He smirked at her playfully. “Nah, I mean I know you’re from the south and all,” he joked.

She punched him lightly in the arm in retaliation. “Hey, lay off the stereotypes, I thought you had more class.”

“Ow,” he feigned. “As I was saying, it’s not by blood and I don’t have any memories of you. I just know you as the cute girl with the mysterious edge who worked at the diner.”

He looked at her deeply. “Rogue, right? That’s your name.”

She smiled at him and nodded. “You can call me Marie, if you like.”

“Yeah, definitely a Marie.” He nodded knowingly.

He stood up and she followed suddenly unsure again.

“So Marie,” he spoke as he stuck his hand out. “Friends?”

She shook his hand. “Friends.”

He smiled and started heading for the truck.

“Aren’t you staying here?” she called after him in concern.

“I’ll come back,” he spoke assuredly.

“You should talk to Logan too.”

“I know,” he responded and laughed quickly. “I think I’ll wait a few more weeks if it’s okay by you. From what dad told me, he turns into a puppy dog around you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t let him hear that.”

“I’m not stupid, I know where I stand.”

He opened the truck door and gave her one last look. “Where we all stand.”

The truck started up and he pulled away and she was glad to know that he’d be back. Maybe, just maybe she pondered that in getting to really know him on new ground it be a way to honour Jean’s death and find a piece of peace in knowing there was no regret.

“You cold?”

“No, I’m fine,” she answered, leaning closer against Logan.

He chomped on his cigar and held it between his lips as he tucked his arm around her and pulled the blankets tighter as they sat side by side on the newly built bench swing.

The bench had been a joint project that they’d done in the past week. She’d never asked what had happened to the old one, to be honest she was surprised to find the bench was the only thing missing, the only thing damaged. She could picture him clawing at it in his emotional rage after her ‘death’, the first thing he’d spotted when he’d made his way back home, the first thing to release his anger on.

The new swing smelled sweet under her nose, the fresh wood smooth and plain. Brand new and stronger chains held it up, the sparkling metal disappearing up in the rafters as night fell around them.

The moonlight spilled onto her one naked calf that peeked out from the blankets, the rest of her naked skin covered and hidden from the cool night air. Mischievously, she un-wrapped her one hand from the warmth of the blankets and enjoyed gazing at the gold band on her hand, her ring finger dancing in the night. A similar gold band was on Logan’s left hand, she’d noticed it on his finger after their night on the Summer’s porch. The second time they had awoken in bed together he suddenly had had the ring on him, which meant he’d been carry it with him the whole time.

Thinking back on it, when he had first charged into the Summer’s living room there had been a chain dangling around his neck and there were two gold rings attached to it. At the time it hadn’t meant much to her and afterwards he never visibly wore the necklace.

When she had asked about her ring, the smile on his face had been what she could only refer to as being ecstatic. The Wolverine being ecstatic was unheard of to most, but she was glad she was one of the few to see him at his most content.

He’d been gentle when he’d placed the ring back on her finger, his fingers rubbing soothingly against hers. The kiss had been sudden, his mouth latching on to hers before the ring had even been secure.

The dim orange glow of Logan’s cigar began to fade and he put it out, his suddenly free hand sneaking under the covers and settling on her thigh.

“Your hand’s cold.”

“Really?” he sighed contently and smirked at her. “It will be warm in a second.” His hand teasingly moved closer towards the inside of her thigh and up.

She rolled her eyes at him in playfulness and he reached over pulling her head down on his shoulder as he kissed the top of her forehead.

“Logan?”

“Yeah darlin’?”

“What ever happened to the others?”

He was quiet as he played with her hair, his fingers curling around her white streaks.

“You really want to know?”

“Of course, they were my friends.”

He sighed. “They didn’t always treat you right, baby.”

“I wasn’t exactly a bucket of sunshine either.”

He snorted and continued to stroke her hair.

“You remember how we went back to warn them about the war and they ignored us, said they’d stay and fight.”

“Yes,” she hissed almost darkly, recalling the arguments that had occurred between them all. “But you still gave Scott our contact number if they changed their minds, if they needed help.”

“That’s right,” he murmured. “We stayed long enough to help prepare them, help get the children to safe houses, help get them out of the country but there was only so much we could do, I wasn’t willing to risk you not after…you’d been captured once - not ever again.”

“It was months until we heard from Scott. The mansion had been destroyed and he and Jean were on their own.”

“Yeah, that was hell of a surprise. To be honest I figured Scott and Jean would be the last two people to run away into hiding. I guess the war shook them up real good, realized they needed to be practical, needed to survive. They had all spilt up, thinking it would make their chances better,” he added.

“So what happened, we never did hear anything when…when I was around.”

“They’d never been real sure but Scott was pretty certain Bobby had been one of the casualties when the mansion had been attacked. He’d taken an offensive position, ensuring the last of the children he was protecting got away in time to the check point.”

“You knew of the possibility and you never told me back then?” she snapped in surprise.

“Darlin’, we couldn’t even been sure, we waited in hopes that he’d make contact.”

“Logan, I deserved to know that…”

“Why?” he snapped suddenly, his eyes flashing at her in the night. “Because he was your boyfriend once,” he spat. “He wasn’t your fuckin’ boyfriend Marie. You didn’t even love him. It was my fault anyways that you ended up with him; I was too busy with my ass stuck up my head. He treated you like shit. He was the worst when the cure happened and…”

“Even so,” she interrupted him calmly. “I would not take his death lightly; he was still a friend one time, a team mate. He had his faults and he was a good man in the end.”

Logan rubbed his face. “See, darlin’, why do you gotta be like that?”

“Like what?”

“Always forgiving everyone even when they hurt you. Always, putting up with people when you shouldn’t and…”

“Are you talking about yourself, Logan?” she asked sharply.

The lines of his lips thinned as he clenched his jaw.

“Yes, Logan you have your faults but you’re the best person I know, have ever known.”

She rubbed his cheek softly. “It’s nice to know there’s a chink in the Wolverine’s armour, it makes you human.”

His body relaxed and he swung the swing lightly.

“After Nathan was born we found out Jubilee had died in a mutant riot in San Francisco. There’s a plaque in the square where it happened with her name on it now, in her memory and the others who died unfairly. The group of mutant fighters had gone to help destroy a notable lab that was experimenting on children who were thought to possess the mutant gene.”

She leaned her chin down as she felt the tears prick at her eyes. Jubilee had been the one person she’d known that had been so full of life. A lot of her memories from growing up at the mansion included Jubilee and they were always the happiest.

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he whispered, his hand moving down and rubbing her back.

“Go on,” she sniffed.

“Storm had gone to Africa with a group of children, she’d hoped to gain aid in the country and in fact she’d been largely successfully. Africa turned out to be one of the countries that joined England in supporting mutant rights. We kept in contact with her briefly. She died about five years ago of natural causes.”

Logan didn’t seem to mind that she was crying all over him. His voice was becoming tired and low, he’d had time to mourn, unlike her but it didn’t mean it still somehow didn’t affect him.

“Beast survived, although not unscathed, he has the scars to show for it, but he’s moved up in politics and creating laws to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Angel lives in Europe somewhere, we don’t hear much from him but I know he keeps in contact with Scott every now and then, makes sure we’re all right.”

“What about Kitty and Peter?”

“They’re alive.”

“Really?” she spoke up.

“Yup, they’re married.”

“What?” she gasped, almost smiling in shock.

“Un-huh,” he smirked at her.

“They have two kids too, a boy and a girl. I can’t remember how old they are but they live in Northern Ontario. We saw them about two years ago; they come and visit every now and then.”

“That’s good,” she murmured, somehow finding the fact that they’d survived and found happiness, and started a family helpful in pushing away all the darkness that stained their past.

“I plan on calling them actually, I’m sure they’d like to know you’re alive and besides I’m sure you’d want to see them, wouldn’t you?”

She nodded.

For a moment he turned from her to gaze out at the land before them.

“What do you want to do, darlin?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t you want to be out there doing something after all this time.”

“What, you mean like hitting the road?”

“Sure, we always had fun traveling together when we weren’t being chased and concerned for our mutant lives.”

“I have fun no matter, as long as I’m with you.”

He laughed heartily. “Now, don’t be lying to me.”

She punched him jokingly. “Alright, so maybe you can be an ass at times but you do have a fine ass.” She rose one eyebrow up at him enticingly. “I mean to say a fine sexy ass,” she purred and then squeaked as he growled at her and pulled her into his lap.

She laughed at his antics and felt true peace fill her as she stared into his eyes, knowing she had a bond with him, a life, a present, a future and even her past.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d kind of like to stay here on this land with you. We’ll have plenty of time to re-start our lives but Scott and Nathan don’t have that luxury and I missed out on the others and…”

He kissed her quickly and pulled back. “I understand.”

Reaching up he pushed her bangs back. “I couldn’t bare the thought of watching you grow old and leaving me. It use to paralyze me with fear, knowing someday all of you would leave me and I’d be alone. I won’t lie to you, baby, it’s going to be hard with Scott and Nathan and even Kitty and Peter, but I’m just glad I have you, all of you.”

“Me too,” she whispered and leaned in to kiss him.

“I love you, Logan.”

“I love you, Marie.”