Sacrifice by Epic
Summary: What if it had been Rogue and not Wolverine who took out Phoenix?
Categories: X3, AU Characters: None
Genres: Angst, Dark
Tags: None
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Series: None
Chapters: 40 Completed: Yes Word count: 55447 Read: 242297 Published: 12/18/2008 Updated: 02/21/2009
Chapter 8 by Epic
Author's Notes:
Alright. Can't believe I did it, but I got another chapter done tonight.
He looked so peaceful, so serene. His vitals her fine, and the bleeding had stopped, but he was still out, the shock of what had happened being too much. She wanted to touch him, just for a second, but she was even too scared to do that simple act. She had hurt him, torn his weapons right from his skin. Would he be upset with her? She couldn’t see how he wouldn’t be. She could have killed him. But there were plenty of times she could have killed him and he hadn’t turned his back on her. Still, she couldn’t see how it would be any different now.

“Rogue? I know I wanted to wait until tomorrow, but, maybe we should start now? I mean, if Phoenix has already taken over once, even if it was only partially her and Magneto, we…” Emma stopped, not really sure she should continue. This wasn’t something that she had dealt with before, and she wasn’t sure where to step. “A friend of mine will be here with in the hour to help. A fellow psychic. She’s trust worthy…”

“What ever help you need.” Rogue whispered, still staring at the man she had broken. She couldn’t keep doing this, and the sooner they began, the better. “If you find Phoenix, do me a favor? If you can, kill her.”

“Alright. If we can.”


A few hours later, as Logan began to stir and the sun began to set, Rogue found herself in a bed on the other side of the med lab. She didn’t want to be close to him in case she came back, but she didn’t want to leave him down here by himself. She knew how that felt. Storm had promised to stay with him.

She had met the Asian beauty, Psylocke, as soon as she arrived, and they had spent some time talking, where every secret she had kept was spilt out. It wasn’t too hard, but, still, it was better than to have them find it in her head and judge her later.

She told both women about how her family had sent her out into the world in the middle of the night with a packed duffle bag, a few hundred dollars, a new cloak, and a careful hug goodbye. Her momma had cried, her daddy had stood tall and proud. They were both proud of her and told her that she should return when things became more bearable. It was hard being the parents of a mutant. Not to mention one so dangerous.

She told them of her time on the road. Of the men who tried to hurt her until she told them about her skin. Of those who, after finding out, tried to pay her to kill someone or another. About waitresses who took pity and men with families who offered her a warm bed for the night. A full year of no one but herself with living ghosts here and there.

She told them of the first time she had seen Logan, in that cage fight. She had known it was dangerous, but she had figured that it couldn’t have been more dangerous than standing outside in the snow, and freeze to death. To bad she didn’t have St. John’s abilities then. She would have melted every flake she could find.

She told them why she hid in the back of Logan’s truck. That it wasn’t because he seemed like the least dangerous, which was the exact opposite. That it wasn’t because he was a mutant, like her, or that he seemed like a tortured soul. More because, even watching him in the cage, and, again later, when that stupid trucker and his buddies tried to get their money back, he still felt safe to her. Like someone whispering in her ear that he wouldn’t hurt her.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t met other mutants, either. A year on the road, your bound to bump into a few. Some had been kind, offering her a place to rest and a hot meal. A few even went as far to give her any cash they could spare, and, yet, it wasn’t enough. Logan was her kindred soul, and she would always love him.

She told them about how it was when she came off that statue. How she would stare at Jean’s cleavage. Want to call Scott all sorts of pretty things such as Pansy and Scooter. How she shied away from Bobby because she was disgusted by any type of male wanting to kiss her. It was the weirdest week she had ever gone through.

And, finally, when it was all out, she told them she was ready and here they sat, her laying on the table, a psychic on each side, ready to find the memories she had suppressed so long ago.


“Now Rogue, we want you to take a deep breath and concentrate. You’ve told us all that you can think of, but there is much the mind doesn’t think is relevant,” Psylocke began as she placed her hands on either side of her head. Rogue felt herself begin to relax. She had to do this. She couldn’t fight it. She closed her eyes ….


…and opened them to find that she was no longer inside the med lab. She was home again. But of course, she couldn’t be. It wasn’t anything like she remembered. But no, there she was, at the tender age of five, sitting in her rocking chair with her baby doll, pretending to be mommy.

“You were a beautiful child, Rogue. Do you remember this?” She was startled to hear a voice behind her. She turned to see Emma and Psylocke behind her, watching her closely. “We’ve been through all of your memories, and this seems to be one that may cause your lack of control. There are about three others you will have to see, but, this was the oldest, and we thought we should start here. I will tell you, they are not all pretty.”

“I don’t remember any of this. My room… My room was never pink, and I don’t remember that rocker. But that’s…”

“Marie, baby, we got to talk.” She didn’t know who the voice belonged to, but the sound of it sent fear through out her body. As she watched, she saw the girl she was once stiffen and the rocker stop. She watched her stand and walk to the little doll carriage on the dresser, laying the doll down on the bed.

“Now, remember sugar, Daddy’s coming, and we know what he said about people finding out. I want you to be very quiet so he doesn’t take you away, too. You know, like my momma had to go away.” Marie gasped, unable to believe what she was hearing. The girl turned quickly then, just as her father walked in through the door.

“Marie, Daddy’s got an itch. One that needs to be scratched bad. You remember what you need to do, right?” He smiled down at her.

Marie closed her eyes, not wanting to see anymore as the tears began to pour. She hadn’t realized she could cry in her own mind. But she had to look. It had to be done. And she opened her eyes….


And found her self sitting in a field of wild flowers. The woman she had known as her mother was sitting beside her, telling her that she wouldn’t have to worry anymore. That she and her husband were going to be her family now. Marie watched herself throw her arms around the woman’s neck, yelling that it would be wonderful.

“Alright, baby girl, alright. Now, do you want me to take away that bad memory for you?” The woman asked slowly, gently holding her as close as possible. “Do you want to forget?”

“Yes, Momma. I don’t want to remember that man at all. I got a better family now.” And the woman touched her forehead and little Marie forgot the first five years of her life. At the same time, the man she would call Daddy was repainting and redecorating her room, getting rid of every sign of what the little girl had been through. The man who was her father was gone for good, to a place the devil couldn’t even bring him back from.

“The woman was your mother’s sister. You know that now, right?” Rogue turned to look at Psylocke, not sure what to understand. Her mother was a mutant? Her real mother? “When they found out what happened, they got rid of your father and moved in. They took care of you.”

“This is why I can’t remember? She blocked it? Her ability?”

“Yes. She wanted to erase it, but, unfortunately, not everything can forget.”


They visited two more memories, neither as bad as the first. There was one where she was beaten severely by a few of the neighborhood children because she said something a little too sassy for their taste when she was seven. Another when a man tried to grab her outside a convenience store. She was able to get away. Both memories were blocked the same way. By people who didn’t want her to hurt because they loved her. Well meaning intentions that had bad results.


As she visited her memories, Logan opened his eyes. He knew what had happened, but there was no more pain. Actually, he felt lighter, as if he was floating. He pulled everything out, listening to the beeps go off in alarm. Storm was there with him, watching him closely. She began to turn off the machines as he pulled the last IV out, slowly sitting up.

“Where is she?” He growled. He could smell her, and would sniff her out if he had to. “I need to talk to her.”

“On the other side of the med lab, with Emma and Psylocke. They’re trying to help her gain control.” Storm stepped away from him, putting the machines between them. “She didn…”

“I know that. I need to make sure she’s alright, though.” He walked away then, on a search to find her.


When she opened her eyes this time, it was to see that she was back in the med bay, both psychics still with her, both looking exhausted and relieved.

She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to show she was stronger than that. But she caught his scent and burst into tears.


He heard her. Smelled her. Felt her. She was in pain and torment and he wouldn’t keep himself from being with her this time.

He burst through the door, startling the two psychics, to find that Marie had curled herself into a ball on the table. He went to her, ignoring everything else in the room. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered that it was alright. They would get through this together.

Only Emma and Psylocke noticed it. Neither wanted to comment on it though. Neither wanted to break the moment. Rogue still wore no gloves. Her hands were touching his back. The back a blood soaked shirt had been cut from hours before. She could touch him.
End Notes:
So, this is supposed to explain what happened to Rogue to make her mutation uncontrolable. Hope it wasn't too much. But now she can touch... Logan, anyway.
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