I go wild
Cause you break me open


I can feel the beat of the music in the pit of my stomach. It's causing little vibrations that make me sway my hips and close my eyes, taking pleasure in the knowledge that every male person in this club is watching me and only me.

The tiny dark red dress I'm wearing is barely more than a strapless top, leaving little up to imagination.
But it's not my outfit that attracts the stares, or my dancing skills.

The real reason that I have a special talent to make men lust after me is...Logan.


Wild
Cause you left me here


Or the part of his essence that is still left inside of me. He doesn't talk back in my head anymore, doesn't really live there as a person. All that is left is his instinct, his animal side, which has always been the strongest part of the echo of him inside my head.
And, predictable as men are, they're subconsciously attracted to my inner animal, the wildness beneath the surface.

I can't say that I don't enjoy that, in some way. I move a little bit faster, running my hands down my sides, pulling my dress down half an inch in the process.


I go wild


And after all, it's the animal that pretty much saved me after Logan left. There's a whole lot more to his departure than those clueless kids at the Mansion know. Than anyone knows.

The animal helped me to rely on myself and only myself. My instincts, my needs and desires...he helped me grow up and grow strong. He was there for me when Logan wasn't.
He is stronger than anything else inside of me; stronger even than my mutation. Not stronger than me, because I could still take over if I wanted to. But I like things the way they are. I let my inner animal take over and just enjoy the ride.

I'm forever grateful to him because he assisted me in doing the only thing to save my sanity: to hate Logan.


Wild because the chips are down
Wild because there isn't anybody else around


Hate is a big part of me these days; as is anger, spite and the urgent need to be on my own.

As a matter of fact, I spend most of my time alone...I don't really need any company.

Sure, having friends is nice but they can be so annoying most of the times. They don't understand me. They don't understand my way of relying on my instincts and always doing what I need to do and not what I should do.


Wild when the waves start to break
And God knows they're breaking in me now


What I need to do sometimes is to go to a bar, pick up a guy, spend the night with him and then leave before he wakes up in the morning.

Why? Because part of the animal package is also a newly-discovered libido.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a slut. And I'm not ashamed of that. I take what I want and what I need whenever I feel like it.

I've already spotted my prey for tonight. There's a tall, dark-haired man standing in a corner, holding a bottle of beer and watching me intently while my dance moves gradually start to resemble sex more than dancing.


Wild 'cause it doesn't make sense
For me to cry out in my own defense


I don't need to justify my actions to anyone. After all, Logan never did. And he would know all about the whole fuck-and-run thing.

I was only a kid back then and he knew that. I loved him unconditionally; whatever that means when you're 16 years old and just had your life saved by a handsome cage fighter in a leather suit. Of course I didn't deny my cutesy little crush on him when he asked me. And of course I didn't try to push him away when he kissed me. Right on my lips, skin-to-skin. He was pretty close to blacking out many times that night, but always managed to stay with me.


Wild 'cause I would do anything
To tear you off your precious fence


He asked me if I was all right, if he wasn't hurting me, if this was really what I wanted. I don't think I could have said no, even if I had known he'd be leaving 12 hours later. It was too much, too good.

And Logan was actually quite sweet to me, which made it all the harder to deal with later on. I didn't know back then that sex didn't always include love; that one night was sometimes just that: one night.

I had absorbed so much of him that it was impossible to forget about him. He was there, in my head, every fucking day for the past 3 years. It was him and the animal and a bunch of other idiots up there. And what can I say, letting the Wolverine save me was easier than to put up with Logan's shit.


So this is what it's like living in limbo
First I'm high then I'm solo


I went to heaven for two glorious hours and got thrown all the way down to hell in the matter of one night and one day. I will never forget waking up to that empty bed and looking for him all over the Mansion, giving up and then seeing him try to sneak out the door. I didn't dare to mention our night together, so all I said was that I didn't want him to go. He went anyway.

For a long time, I was sure Logan had scarred me forever and that I could never love anyone else or fuck anyone else.


I go wild
Cause you break me open


I guess I was wrong about the last part though, because the whole sex thing is going really well.

Like right now, while Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is slowly approaching me through the mass of moving bodies and a moment later, I can feel a pair of strong hands gripping my hips from behind and a body pressing against me.

I don't bother to turn around to look at his face or ask for his name. Grinding my ass into his groin, I continue dancing and driving the entire male population of Westchester insane.


Wild
Cause you left me here


I have often pondered the question whether it is Logan's fault that I became who I am now. But it would really be too easy to blame him. And I don't consider my behavior to be the result of some trauma anyway. I chose this. Admittedly, I was and still am under the animal's influence, that permanent part of himself Logan left behind within me. But we're not rivals, fighting for control; we're partners.

He's not taking anything from me, he's giving me experiences that never fail to blow my mind. Control over my skin, heightened senses that allow me to see the world like nobody does and, strange as that might sound, a never-ending supply of men to sleep with.

Oh and women. I was way too curious not to try.


I go wild
Cause your promises are broken


So, no, I don't blame Logan for turning me into a reckless slut. What I do blame him for is taking advantage of an innocent child and leaving her behind even though he promised not to.

My innocence was lost that night, in every possible way, and it just hurt. Even if I had wanted to, I couldn't have stayed that little girl from back then...the little girl with visions, dreams and a pure heart.

Sometimes I miss being that girl. I wonder who I could be now if I didn't have mutant chromosomes, if I hadn't met Logan, if I had said yes when Bobby Drake asked me out on a date years ago. If there wasn't this animal inside of me because I let Logan touch me for just a bit too long.


Wild
When I know you're near


That's when I smell it. He's here. It's impossible. But my senses have never failed me before and if I think I smell him, I'm right.

I freeze mid-grind and leave Tall Dark and Handsome behind alone on the dance floor, startled and pissed off. Sorry, sugar.

He better not have the guts to show his face in here. This is my territory and he is not welcome.
Yet there he is, leaning against the wall, bottle of Jack in his hand and a cigar in the other. Giving me a questioning look and a raised eyebrow.


I go wild
I go wild


And I can still read him well enough to know that he's wondering what must have happened to me, to my skin, to my common sense and maybe even my fashion sense. Because even though the animal within him approves of the dress, I know his more protective side doesn't.

But I really don't give a fuck about that protective side that still sees me as a child, because I sure as hell ain't no child and he took away my shot at being one.

So I start dancing again, grabbing the nearest man and wrapping my arms around his neck, only peripherally registering his bewildered but willing facial expression. My eyes stay on Logan the entire time and he returns my angry gaze with momentary...sadness. I haven't expected that and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I'm actually happy that my new dancing partner turns out to be a very straightforward guy, starts groping me up and tries to kiss me. It's a welcome distraction from the dilemma at hand.


Tell me what you've come for
Moving like a hunter through my back door


However that one tiny moment of not having my guards up is enough for Logan to make his way over to me and violently grab my upper arm, yanking me away from my dancing partner.

I try to push him away and get out of his grip, but I didn't take his strength into consideration. I can't even move an inch while he holds me in place, using both his hands now, growling at me over the loud music.

“What?” I hiss back, glaring up at him angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing, Marie?”

It's not a surprise that he actually has the nerve to give me that badass attitude. I want to punch him right then and there, but I can't, because his hands are still holding on to my arms and I can't even fucking move. I could just use my skin and make him let go of me but I don't really feel like having him in my head again.

“What am I doing? What the hell are you doing here, Logan?”


Leaving the perfume of all you adore
To die nameless on my floor


I see that the facade is about to crumble when another hint of sadness and guilt briefly crosses his features. But it's not happening as soon as I expected and instead he keeps up the aggression.

“I'm looking for you, what d'you think?”

“Didn't ask you to.”

“Well, what'd you think I'd do? I return to the Mansion and Scooter tells me you're out on your own, doing who knows what.”

Damn Scott and that goody two shoes act. He's still hoping he can “bring me back”, whatever that's supposed to mean. And it seems that Logan is just his latest addition to the shelf of weapons he uses to try and turn me back into a good girl.


Yeah well we both know you don't play fair
I guess you really think that you get me there


“You didn't care what I was doing for the past three years. Why d'you care now?” I shoot back.

For the lack of a better reply, he crushes his lips to mine, both of his hands grabbing my waist with so much strength that I'm sure he will leave bruises.

And I want to pull away and scream at him and hit him and just press my lips together; but it's so good and it's been too long and my body is on fire, his tongue pushes into my mouth and it's too much, too much...

I moan into his mouth even though I don't want to and my hands copy what his are doing, pulling his lower body against mine and losing myself in the pressure that is building in my abdomen.


Let's be honest perhaps this little ride
Is too much for even you to bear


I don't know how long it takes me to get a grip on myself and end the sick little game he's playing, but then I finally do, and I feel like I'm breaking free. I crash my hands against his chest, pushing him away with all the force I can muster up. When my knee suddenly hits him in the stomach, I don't know how I do it, but I'm assuming my instincts have a whole lot to do with it.

Logan gasps, more in surprise than in pain, I assume; but I know I've made my point.

“Don't you ever dare to touch me again.”


You've got some nerve to come back here
You're not the only one who can smell fear


I make my way out of the club without turning around to look at him again but it's no surprise that he has caught up with me by the time I'm out on the street.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” I spit at him, even though it's none of his business.

Anger and pain are boiling inside of me, forming a dangerous mixture and I know he's aware of that. He knows I can hurt him if I really want to. It's funny, really, how afraid he suddenly is of me. It's like something in his head snapped and he realized I'm not that little girl he left behind. I smell the fear of him and I take perverse pleasure in it.


I go wild
Cause you break me open


“Will you please just listen to me, Marie?” he asks in a pleading voice. There's none of that alpha male crap left, it's just him...and for a moment, that almost makes me soften up.

But I can't afford that. I can't let him get to me, I have to keep my guard up and my heart locked away. I've been doing pretty great with blocking out my real emotions and only running rage, so why should I take any chances and change that now?

I know he can crumble my walls if he really tries, because he's always had that effect on me, just like I have it on him. I'll have to be even stronger and more careful than usually to keep him out.


Wild
Cause you left me here


“Depends on the entertainment value of what you're gonna say,” I reply.

Really, there's nothing he could say that I'd wanna hear. Of course, that's not the truth. But I keep telling myself it is, hoping I can be as untouchable as I pretend to be.

Carefully making my own presence in my mind as small as possible and giving more space and control to the animal, I feel myself grow stronger again.

And Logan keeps his mouth shut like a good boy. Well, not exactly. More like the scared and confused man he is right now. But I don't care for the reasons as long as he doesn't bother me.


I go wild
Cause your promises are broken


By the time we arrive at the Mansion, still in a tense silence, Logan isn't scared anymore. I already miss the faint smell of fear on him, it was such a rare and special scent. I wonder what I'd have to do to make it come back...with my lips curling into a smile, I realized that I can do anything to him and he can't blame me. Whatever I consider the appropriate revenge for breaking my heart, hurting my pride and leaving me behind; I can do it.

Too bad my mind is so fucking blank right about now. I can't even imagine something as painful as I want it to be. I want to, need to see him suffer and I won't because I can't come up with anything. Fucking fantastic; sometimes I should screw the instincts and use my brain for a change.


Wild
Don't you get it dear


He follows me to my room without a word. When I try to shut the door into his face, he pushes a foot on the doorstep, blocking.

“What the hell, Logan?”

“I want to talk to you,” he growls.

That kind of thing used to scare me a little, but we're way past that now. Angrily I detect that the other effect it used to have on me is still the same: instant turn-on.

I just stand there, stupidly staring at him. Remember that heightened sex drive that came with the control over my skin and berserk rage? Yeah, not coming in handy right now.


You're not the only one who lives on instincts
No I've got instincts of my own


Apparently he considers the smell of my arousal an invitation to my bedroom and takes a step forward, closing the door behind him.

And then we're at each other's throats. He's not as stupid as to try and kiss me again or touch me in any other way; he is actually just trying to block the attack that I launch on him. We're a tangled mess of arms and fists, fighting for the upper hand like the predators we both are deep inside.

I end up on top of him, straddling him and pinning him to the ground and we're both panting for air. I shift a little and that's when I feel the hardness between his legs press into me.


You've got a lot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting


I have to close my eyes for just one second and I'm paralyzed by the desire that is running through me. Oh, the things we could do to each other...it wouldn't be like fucking a guy from some bar who was turned on by my more animalistic side but unable to keep up with it in the end. I have met my match in Logan...but I can't do this, can I?

I still hate him with a passion and he deserves to feel the hate, not the passion.


You wrote the rules to try to contain me
You broke 'em
Now you have untamed me


But then again, screw that. I want him. He wants me. I'll have him and leave him. That's how I usually do it and that's how he usually does it. So why should I miss out something amazing?

It's not like I was forgiving him, I'm just using him to satisfy my needs. Or so I tell myself when I lean down and urgently bring my lips to his, feeling his hips buck against mine.

I push my tongue into his mouth without holding back and we continue our battle for control. My fingernails dig into his upper arms and I pull them down, leaving scratch marks that instantly disappear.


I go wild
I go wild


Logan groans into my mouth in a mix of pain and pleasure when I push up his shirt and repeat the same procedure on his bare chest.

I tear my mouth away from his and start attacking his neck, sucking and biting down a couple of times, making him growl again. I watch the marks my teeth left vanish before I produce new ones, on his shoulder this time.
He lifts me off himself to push my dress up my legs and then pull it over my head, pressing his fingers into my hips the same way he did just an hour before, the small twinge of pain making me throw my head back with desire.


Tell me what you've come for
What is it you adore
Won't you tell me?


Suddenly I'm completely naked except for my red high heels, because I'm not wearing any underwear beneath that dress. Logan gives me the eyebrow, his look saying, “Fucking figures.”

But I don't care what he thinks, especially not when I finally manage to get his tank top all the way off and my lips hungrily wrap around his left nipple.

One of his hands finds its way between my legs in response and without wasting any time, he plunges two fingers into the wetness that has been waiting for him since I first laid eyes on him in that club tonight.


What would you
Go wild for?


My hands snap back to the strong muscles of his arms, my nails digging into the flesh because I have to hold on to something as he curls his fingers inside me, just the right way, hitting the spot I need and oh yes, this is so good...

I grind my hips against his hand and arch my back until it hurts, feeling my shoulders touch his still denim-clad knees that he must have pulled up to support me at some point. His free hands starts roaming over my body, massaging my breasts and teasing my nipples one after another.

We can both tell I'm close and I open my mouth, preparing for the scream that I know is going to come...


You've got a lot of nerve to come back here
Speak up my darling I have been waiting


All that makes its way out of my throat is a surprised and disappointed huffing sound when Logan suddenly stops moving his fingers and then pulls them all the way out. And oh God, I'm so fucking close that it's torture to stop now, it's causing me physical pain not have my release.

I open my eyes in anger, looking at him to find out what the hell went wrong, only to find him licking my juices off his fingers with a blissful expression on his face.


I go wild
Cause you break me open


All I want to do is freaking kill him right about now, but that's not a new feeling; it's only a bit stronger than usually. What is more urgent is to get myself off, so I make an attempt to bring my hand between my legs, which is instantly blocked by Logan. His hand shoots up from his mouth to my wrist, halting my movement and then he flips us over in one swift motion, hovering above me and holding my arms to the ground above my head.

He pushes the bulge in his jeans against my sensitive bundle of nerves once, twice; and I know that just one more time would push me over the edge and so does he, and stops.

“You gonna listen to me now?”


Wild
Cause you left me here


“Fuck you, Logan!” I scream at him, desperately trying to move my hips against him only once more to create enough friction to reach my orgasm. But he evades all my movements, purposely prolonging my misery.

“Are you?”

“Yes, damn it, I will fucking listen.”

I'd do anything only to get him to continue and I hate him for reducing me to this. I was gonna stay on top of the situation, whatever happened to that?


I go wild
Cause your promises are broken


“Good.” He takes a deep breath and I can tell that it is just as hard for him as it is for me to restrain himself.

“I made a mistake back then.” Hell yeah.

“And I'm sorry.”

He's sorry. That's it? I raise my eyebrows, looking at him expectantly. To my discomfort, he's wearing that sad and guilty expression on his face again. I don't want to admit to myself that he's being honest, but I have to when he's looking at me like that. I feel myself softening and opening up.

“I shouldn't have left. And I regret that I did, because it was...wrong. And unfair to you.”


Wild
Don't you get it dear


And there goes something I didn't expect. He shouldn't have left. I wholeheartedly agree, but I was expecting something along the lines of “I shouldn't have slept with you.” He doesn't regret that part? So does that mean...?

My mind starts spiraling into a direction that I don't want it to go and I quickly retreat and leave the control to the Wolverine inside. Anger and strength make their way back into every fiber of my being and I don't need to worry about being emotionally affected by Logan anymore.


You're not the only one who lives on instincts
No I've got instincts of my own


“I know what you're doing,” he says earnestly. “And I understand; it's easy, it's what I would do.”

I feel myself snarl at him and try to push him off me, but he doesn't move.

“I hate you, Logan,” I hiss, my eyes cold but my lips trembling.

Logan closes his eyes for a second, unable to look at me. And I hate that he's just so very...him right now. Wolverine I can deal with; Logan I can't. Especially when he gets emotional, because that's something rare and special.


You've got a lot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting


“It's difficult to allow yourself any other emotion than hate, isn't it?”

My hands clench into fists and I want to shut out his voice because he's hitting that spot that nobody was ever supposed to find.

“Maybe you can try to understand why I had to leave. I think you will...I just couldn't deal with the fact that you love me.”

I gasp and before I know what I'm doing, my right hand has snapped up and slapped his face.

“I hate you,” I remind him weakly, feeling the now unfamiliar sting of tears behind my eyes.


You wrote the rules to try and contain me
You broke 'em


“And I'll let you tell yourself that as long as you need to; hell, I deserve it, don't I? Just know that I'm here, okay? I'm here to stay and I'm here to make you realize that you're more than just that thing inside your head...that you can control it instead of letting it control you...it's what you helped me to see.”

I can't quite bring myself to speak and I'm not letting the animal say anything this time, so we remain on the floor in silence for a while.

“Thank you for listening,” Logan says, his lips turning up in a half-smile. “And I'm sorry I had to torture you so much to get you to do that.”


Now you have untamed me


I groan, painfully remembering the emptiness between my legs that he actually made me forget about for a short moment.

Three more well-aimed strokes of his fingers are all it takes for me to achieve my release and then I come, screaming into his mouth that is covering mine again. He keeps his hands on me, his fingers moving in sync with my bucking hips and oh God, this is so fucking good and he knows just how to draw it out until the last moment.

My head drops back onto the hard floor when the last wave washes over my body; but I'm too far gone to notice even that as I feel my exhausted body relax.


I go wild
I go wild


Logan presses sweet, soothing kisses to my temples, my cheeks and my forehead and turns us around again, pulling me on top of him, into his warm embrace.

It's strange to feel a smile spread across my face now, because that hasn't happened in such a long time. I haven't let it happen.

“You okay, darling?”

“Mhm...yeah, I guess,” I reply absently.

I'm not sure how I feel right now, because everything emotional is still so foreign to my mind. I feel strangely empty and tired without the rage to fuel me; and I realize I'm exposed with my walls all crumbled...the animal inside me is strangely quiet now but I can still feel him there. And I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't, because I'm not ready to let go of him.

I'm not gonna just push things out of my mind this time, I'll take my time and deal with the shit that gets thrown my way. Including Logan, who is looking just a tiny bit too comfortable right now.

“Don't think I'm gonna forgive you just like that and be all sunshine and butterflies from now on, just because you have a way with words all of sudden.”

Instead of receiving an answer, I'm caught in a hungry kiss that leaves me breathless and pulsing in heat once more.

“Logan...” I complain.

“I wasn't really counting on words to make you forgive me,” he whispers into my ear in a husky voice.

“You're obviously not in the mood to talk about this, are you?” And neither am I, to be honest.

“I swear I'll talk all you want in the morning.” He's serious again, looking at me with big earnest eyes.

“Okay, fine with me,” I say quickly, closing the subject. “And now...let's finally get you out of those pants.”