Unconvincing Lies
-Drabble-


He lived a life with no ties and he liked it that way. The world was the outside and he ventured into it only when his money was low and he needed something other than what he could get out of the woods surrounding his beaten down cabin. But then one day that changed and he convinced himself that he didn't want it to. He told himself that if it wasn't for the kid with the white stripes in her hair, he'd be back to his old life and he'd be better off. But then he hears her laugh and sometimes, he wonders why he bothers leaving at all; why he keeps up the charade that he can't be there, living in the mansion or taking it easy. And she smiles at him like she understands, hugs him tight and makes him promise he'll be back. He grunts, takes for granted that knowing warmth in her big brown eyes and he climbs on his bike to race back out into the unknown, the wilderness, whichever will bring him more distraction this time.

But he comes back. Always. And she's waiting out front like she knew he was coming. She plucks the cheap cigar from his chapped lips and takes a drag herself, one of his less attractive qualities that she never quite gave up. And when the cloud of smoke beats into his face, he smells her mixed in it, her breath and her sweet scent and he's intoxicated more than the open road could ever compare.

He pretends he's unaffected, lists all the reasons they're not right for each other in his head. Hopes he's convincing Chuck as much as he is himself. But with Jean no longer around to distract him, he finds himself trying to stifle whatever fucked up hope is trying to well inside him. He drinks more, gets into bar fights just to take the edge off and turns down broads he'd of taken home without a thought before.

The thing that gets him most though is that she's always there waiting for him. She's good at that. She makes him think maybe she can wait awhile longer. Wait for him to get this screwy head of his on straight. He tells himself she doesn't want what he thinks he does. She looks up to him, like a father maybe, even if he'd make a damn horrible one. He's the first person to like her despite her mutation, first person to promise he'll keep her safe and make sure he does just that. And so her feelings gotta be platonic. Even if she smiles at him different, like they got some kinda secret. And yeah, he liked it. Little too much. Likes how when she hugs him, those soft gloved hands of hers stroke his neck like she's welcoming him back to her with all the affection she's got in her.

So he'll keep going and coming and she'll keep waiting for him, until he maybe one day he'll stop and he'll stay and maybe it's wrong, maybe he's too fucked to care, but he hopes she's there and she wants to stay with him too. Always.