Logan's Hairy Butt by lilmizz3vil
Summary: Logan and Marie are having a baby... Well Marie is, Logan's part in that proses is pretty much over except for getting snacks, massages and crap like that. You know the easy stuff.
Categories: X1, AU Characters: None
Genres: Adult, Drama, Humor
Tags: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: Tales Of The Thickheaded.
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 6522 Read: 25437 Published: 07/15/2009 Updated: 01/19/2010
Story Notes:
Marie want to get married now that she's pregnant (once a Southern girl always a Southern girl) and Logan, being a man, has no idea so she's ganna get him to propose the same way she got him to admit his love. By being evil. xXx
Well Toned "REDONE>>>READ" by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
Second part to "You think that Scott is sexy?" and will probably be about for chapters.
“Logan get your hairy, well toned butt out here now and put some clothes on” She yelled knowing it was unnecessary, that he could hear her just as well if she whispered.

“Alright woman calm down.” He said emerging from the bathroom with only a towel to preserve his modesty. Well his penis. Let’s be honest. There’s not much modesty in a man with outrageous but deserved confidence.

“How you feeling today darlin’?” he asked as he got dressed in the clothes she had lain out for him so caringly.

“Sick and it’s your fault now get dress.” She snapped and went back to brushing her hair.

“Baby what’s wrong? Your back hurtin’ again? Want me to rub it?” he purred as he approached her from behind, pushing his hands up the centre of her hand up to massage her shoulders.

“Mmm… Yes” She moaned as his hands gently began to move from her shoulders, down her arms and back up to smoothly cup her breasts.

“Bet these hurt to.” He whispered into her ear as his fingers began slowly circling her nipples.

“Yes…” she hissed in pleasure, allowing herself to bathe in the pleasure her was giving her. Oh gawd I don’t wanna stop him but ah gotta.

“Logan get dressed.” She said getting up and moving out of his grasp. “I’ll meet you downstairs”

“No, hold on. Gimme a minute and I’ll be dressed. Ya’ look beautiful darlin’.” He said slipping his black jeans on, not bothering with underwear.

“I know. Now hurry up” she snapped with a small smile on her face, mirroring his smile. “Thank you.” She said as she took his hand and left the room.


The wedding was beautiful, truly amazing. The bride has impeccable taste; in floral arrangement and dresses, for herself and her two bridesmaid. And the groom looked as handsome as he did 10 years ago, hasn’t ages a day. But then again the all that conditioner that jubilee poured all over him only added to his fur’s natural beauty. Thankfully it hadn’t gone too fluffy and static, ruining the wedding photos and enraged a surprisingly bitchy bride. Who’d have thought that the goddess of calm would have massively flipped because the caterer was 10 minutes late? Not even the professor, who had recently been ordained as a minister after a large number of his student had started pairing off, could have foreseen how badly Ororo was going to flip out over her wedding. Most of the inhabitants were just thankful that beast had vetoed the natural wedding, although it would have taken some of the stress away form choosing an outfit.

Not that this bothered Logan at all. Now that Rogue had moved into his room she had taken that decision away from him, which he didn’t mind at all, as long as she didn’t dress him up like Scooter. But given her fondness for his tight black jeans, black cowboy hat and matching boots that wasn’t going to be a problem.

“Storm looked HOTT!” said Jubilee, well bellowed would probably be more accurate.

“Not as belle as you did and are mon amour” Remy said holding his wife from behind and whispering in her ears. Rogue looked up at the two newlyweds and felt sad. Another couple happily married off. And here she was single, FAT from carrying the offspring of a man who seemed to have no intention of ever asking her to marry him. Their child was going to be a bastard. Just like its father. (Not Scott)

“Hey Marie what’s wrong? You look sad.” Logan asked later that night on the dance floor. “Are you feet hurting?”

“Yes” she whispered, trying to contain her tears. Hormones suck! “I wanna go to bed.” And cry.

“Okay baby, let me just get your jacket, ‘kay. “
____________________________________________________________________

Minutes later Rogue lay on their bed half dressed and crying into her pillow. Hearing this Logan stopped pee, mid flow (Not an easy thing to do) and rushed into the bedroom. And sat on the bed next to her stroking her back.

“Marie what’s wrong?” He asked truly concerned. She’d been sad all night and didn’t eat any wedding cake, which even for un-pregnant Marie is odd.

“Ah cant get mah dress unzipped.” She sobbed almost inaudibly into the pillow.

“Well why didn’t you just ask?” he said as he pulled the zipper down her back revealing the strap of her bra that he also unhooked for her. She sat up on the bed and threw off her unwanted clothes roughly and throwing them on the floor.

“Naght.” She huffed before sliding under the covers facing away form him.

Maybe we’re not really meant for each other. Ah always thought that Logan and me were perfect for each other but I guess not. Ah wanted to be with him Ah had to practically force him into being with me. Ah want to get married but Ah don’t want to force him into being chained to me for the rest of his life. He should want it too.

“’Night baby.” He whispered, kissing her head and walking back to the bathroom. Wonder what I did this time. A completely clueless Logan thought as he continues with his manly business in the bathroom.

The next morning Logan woke up to find his beautiful woman sleeping naked on his chest, drooling slightly. Even in sleep she looked like sin. Beckoning god fearing men to hell just for a taste of her plump red lips. Logan carefully slipped out of bed, knowing better than to wake up. Getting dress quickly he left the room leaving her to sleep in late. When he arrived in the kitchen he found Emma sitting on at stool at the centre island drinking coffee.

“Good Morning Logan.” She said locking her eyes onto his and smiling suggestively. Logan knew that Marie would be pissed if she caught him alone in a room with Emma or as Marie called her “Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her” She’s so sexy when she’s angry. Especially when she’s fighting for her man. ME.

“Mornin’” he said nonchalantly walking to the fridge getting out a beer and some bacon strips. As he walked over to the cooker and started heating up the grill he could feel Emma’s eyes on him. “What?!”

“Oh nothing Logan. I was just thinking about that sexy hat you wore to the wedding last night. I’d love to see you in that hat again.” She said keeping eye contact and pulling the spoon from her cappuccino up to her lips and licking off the creamy foam. “And nothing else”

Oh shit.

“Listen Emma…” Logan began turning around only to find her light blue eyes inches away from his.

“Logan, Let’s not play these games. We both know you want a real woman and not some silly child who has no concept of contraception” she purred in his ear and cupping his package.

“Emma!” He said in a hatch tone, taking hold of her hand only to have them slip out of his as she fell to the floor. Looking up from her unconscious form he saw an extremely pissed off Marie.

“Err… Hey baby.”

“Hey baby! Is that all ya’ve got ta say? Ah find ya in tha kitchen letting a stupid-stuck-up-Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her feel you up. What tha’ fuck is wrong with ya?” she screaming at me an dkicking Emma’s seemingly lifeless form.

“Marie I was just about to tell her where to go. If you’d have given me a minute and trusted me you would have heard me tell her that you’re all I need.” He said putting his hands on her shoulders trying to comfort her only to have her flinch away roughly.

“No ya weren’t ya tryin’ to keep ya options open for when I’m inta my third trimester and ya’ll have to cater to ya own needs. Or get this **kick** skanky bitch to help you.” She screeched getting red in the face with rage.

“Marie I have no idea what you are talkin’ about. I was makin’ breakfast mindin’ my own business and she started molestin’ me.” He explained calmly gripping her head firmly and kissing her tenderly on the lips. “I love you. Only you. Why would I want a ice queen when I can have a beautiful princess like you.”

“So that’s what I am a princess. Never a queen?” she asked looking him in the eyes, her anger fading away into sadness.

“Well I hope not darlin’” he said bending his head and kissing her on the lips again. Why would anyone wanna be an ice queen like Emma. For someone so frigid she seems to be a cock hound. First Scott now me. You’d think that that woman would be sick of rejection.

“Hmm… Ya bacons burnin’’” she whispered before turning stiffly away and leaving the kitchen.

“Oh shit!”
End Notes:
Review and I'll most likely update faster. I dont' know why it works that way but it does. xXx
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