Logan's Hairy Butt by lilmizz3vil
Summary: Logan and Marie are having a baby... Well Marie is, Logan's part in that proses is pretty much over except for getting snacks, massages and crap like that. You know the easy stuff.
Categories: X1, AU Characters: None
Genres: Adult, Drama, Humor
Tags: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: Tales Of The Thickheaded.
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 6522 Read: 25825 Published: 07/15/2009 Updated: 01/19/2010
Stupid-Stuck-Up-Slutty-Wanna-Bee-Home-Wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
It's been ages I did plan to write a lot this summer but got distracted. By A Town Called Eureka mainly. Love that show. It's longer then I usually write but I wanted to make up for it being such a long wait. Not a lot longer though because I want to go to bed. Instead of posting a chapter after I hit 1,000 words minimum I'm just ganna post what I've got.
“Okay, drink this and calm down Marie. Now what exactly is it that has you so upset?” Ororo McCoy-Monroe asked in a calm and soothing voice, handing Rogue a cup of tea.

“It… It’s… It’s Logan” she sobbed through huffs of uneven breaths.

“Well obviously it’s about Logan, if anyone else had reduced you to tears they’d be in on the end of Logan’s claws by now. Now come on tell me, quickly if you don’t mind I do have a plane to catch.

Taking a few deep gasps of air to even out her breathing Marie continued. “We live together, we’re having a baby and he still hasn’t asked me to marry him. Or even show any interest in the subject at all. I just don’t think he wants to marry me, ever!” she said with a slight tremble in her voice, to wipe her fresh tears. “I’m going to be a single fat mother stuck in a relationship with a man that only wants me for sex.”

“Oh sweetheart he isn’t using you for sex. Any idiot can clearly see that Logan loves you and would walk through fire to prove it if you asked.” Said stroking Marie’s back as she held her.

“Through fire maybe but not a church. I want him to be mine, forever. And I want to be his. Doesn’t he want that too?” she asked looking Ororo in the eyes with a vulnerable expression on her face.

“He already thinks he does. Maybe he doesn’t think that he needs a ring to make you his because you always have been.” She said sincerely

“Well not everybody thinks like he does, stupid-stuck-up-Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her for instance.”

“Ah yes Emma has been pushing her boundaries, hasn’t she?! Well when I get back off of my honeymoon I promise you my undivided attention, you’ll be married before you give birth I promise. But have you considered just asking him?” she asked. But only received a “Are you crazy” look form Marie.

“Okay strike that idea then. I’ll be back in one week,” she said standing up and moving over towards her suitcases. “When I’m back I promise to help, but until then there is something you can do. Start arguments with him. Big arguments that result in him sleeping on the sofa okay?”

“But what if he leaves me?” she asked with fear in her brown eyes

“He won’t. Trust me. You’ve just got to let him see what he’s missing.” She spoke softly into Marie’s hair as she hugged her goodbye at the door. “I’ll see you in a week” she called to Marie from the cab before getting in and snuggling into the arms of her husband.

“What was that all about? She was crying.” Hank asked as the car turned out of the mansion and began it journey to the way to the airport.

“Oh just Rogue problems, nothing to worry about..” she said smiling.

“Are these “Problems” anything like the “Problems” that resulted in there being no completion for my being the hairiest male in the Institution?” he asked chuckling.

“Cuddliest man in the mansion” she replied burrowing her face into his fur. “Yes that type of problem Marie want to get married and Logan is showing no signs of wanting the same thing.”

“And where exactly, my love, do you come into this?” he asked pulling her face up to look him in the eyes.

“I’m going to help Logan realise that he wants what his woman wants.” She replies showing no signs of humour, and that worried Hank.

“I don’t think tha-“

“Am I your woman?” she asked interrupting him.

“Well I-“

“Yes or no Hank?” she asked using her Ms Monroe voice. A voice that Hank had to admit aroused him greatly.

“Yes.” He replied kissing her. “I wouldn’t use such a derogatory term but yes you’re my woman.”

“Then you want what I want so deal with it,” she said stopping the convocation.

Hearing a quiet snigger he looked up at the rear view mirror, catching the drivers eyes giving a look of sympathy. Shrugging her went back to enjoying holding his wife in his arms.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Logan get ya hairy arse out here now. Before Ah stick my foot so far up it’ll you’ll be choking on it.” She yelled while sitting on the bed putting her shoes on.

“Well darlin’ your you’re up for arse play then so am I but I think it might ruin the moment” He replied in his usually cocky and over confident manner, gaining him and blunt look from the object of his affection and constant amusement. Walking out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waste he kneeled behind her on the bed running his hands up and down her achy back, causing her eyes to close in ecstasy.

“I swear on the life of my unborn child that I am ganna replace all you white tank tops with pink buttoned shirts.” She muttered knowing that he could hear her as clear as if she had yelled at him.

“Well then I’d just have to walk around shirtless. I’m sure that no one would mind. ‘specially Emma” He whispered in her ear easily from his position behind her on the bed. This cause her eyes to open fully after being closed. Stupid blonde slut trying to move in on my man. Ganna have ta ripe all her stupid bleached hair out by its roots, teacher her a lesson.

“You keep ya’ shirt on around that home reckin’ whore ‘n’ get dressed quickly. Put that nice black shirt on. Oh and your cowboy hat ‘n’ boots.” She said getting up and walking to the bathroom. She loves them boots n hat.

“Darlin’ hurry up in there. You need help getting up?” he asked knocking on the door lightly.

Nothing…

“Darlin’?” he asked again.

Nothing…

“Marie, darlin’ are you okay?” he asked opening the never locked door to the en-suite bathroom, finding a crying Marie on the floor staring into the full length mirror.

“Baby what wrong?” he asked moving onto the floor next to her and pulling her into his chest holding her to him, comforting her with his warmth.

“Ah… So… Fat!” she weezed out between sobs.

“No your not, your just big.” He said in an attempt to comfort his partner.

“Oh gawd!” she sobbed putting her head in his lap.

“I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant that you’re big with child. My child. Our child. Look at me Marie” he said softly bring her head up so he could look her in the eyes. “What’s brought this on. You’re beautiful and you know it. So why are you crying baby?”

“Coz’ ya are noticing stupid skinny bitches like Emma Frost. You’re ganna have sex with her n I’ll be all alone and fat…” she explained with tears streaming down her face as she broke out into tears again.

“Marie, darlin’ that’s stupid. Emma’s a bony and cold bitch. It’s you that I love. Always will. ‘Specially now that you boobs have gotten bigger.” He purred in her ear. But this just brought on a fresh round of tears.

“What are you going to when I… (Sob) Ah’m to pregnant to have sex with? Huh? You can barely go two days with out getting laid. How ar eyou going to survive two months? And that’s if you’re lucky” She asked looking him in the eyes through a veil of tears.

“Well I guess ah’m ganna get used to blowjobs aren’t I darlin’” he said winking.

“Oh so all I’m good for is sex?” she said getting up and walking towards the bedroom door.

“No babe that’s not what I me-“

“Just shut up, Ah’m going downstairs I don’t want ta be late for tha professors birthday party you can come down when your done being a wanka’. Which funnily enough is exactly what you are ganna be for a while.” She said storming out, feeling slightly guilty.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Okay Marie, what’s wrong? You’ve been frosty all night and flinchin’ everytime I touch you.” He asked slamming the bedroom door.

“I’m surprised that you noticed, you’re eyes were glued to her breast all night.” She shouted at him, kicking off her shoes.

“Well her dress did almost reach her bellybutton. You can’t blame a guy for looking at what’s shoved in his face.” He said narrowly avoiding getting hit by a shoe that went hurtling towards his head.

“I can blame a guy who is ‘supposedly’ in a committed relationship.” She yelled storming off into the bathroom to gather her nerves.

“Marie, baby I honestly don’t know what’s got you so upset, maybe it just your hormones. Want me to go make you some tea?” he asked with genuine concern.

“Raht because Ah can’t just be mad at ya, it has ta be tha baby?” she screamed her accent thickening as she got angrier.

“No Darlin’ it’s just that you’re not usually this short with me.” She said backing away form her.

“You’re an arsehole. Just get out I can’t be bothered to deal with you right now.” She said throwing him a pair of jogging bottoms. “And if ya even go anywhere near Emma’s room Ah’m ganna rip off our favourite part of your anatomy.”

“Marie I don’t know what’s gotten you so upset but we both know I’m not going anywhere near that bitch’s room. If you need space I’m gan agive it to you. Goodnight Marie.” He pickeked up his joggers and left the room.

“Ororo better know what she’s doing” she whispered, tears running down her face.
End Notes:
Did you notice the difference in the situation? Not a "toned butt" but just hairy and a threat. Don't worry though I do have a plot. Its not random meanness. Let me know. xXx
This story archived at http://wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/viewstory.php?sid=3481