Logan's Hairy Butt by lilmizz3vil
Summary: Logan and Marie are having a baby... Well Marie is, Logan's part in that proses is pretty much over except for getting snacks, massages and crap like that. You know the easy stuff.
Categories: X1, AU Characters: None
Genres: Adult, Drama, Humor
Tags: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: Tales Of The Thickheaded.
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 6522 Read: 24774 Published: 07/15/2009 Updated: 01/19/2010
Story Notes:
Marie want to get married now that she's pregnant (once a Southern girl always a Southern girl) and Logan, being a man, has no idea so she's ganna get him to propose the same way she got him to admit his love. By being evil. xXx

1. Well Toned "REDONE>>>READ" by lilmizz3vil

2. Stupid-Stuck-Up-Slutty-Wanna-Bee-Home-Wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her by lilmizz3vil

3. I Love Wall by lilmizz3vil

4. The End is Nigh by lilmizz3vil

Well Toned "REDONE>>>READ" by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
Second part to "You think that Scott is sexy?" and will probably be about for chapters.
“Logan get your hairy, well toned butt out here now and put some clothes on” She yelled knowing it was unnecessary, that he could hear her just as well if she whispered.

“Alright woman calm down.” He said emerging from the bathroom with only a towel to preserve his modesty. Well his penis. Let’s be honest. There’s not much modesty in a man with outrageous but deserved confidence.

“How you feeling today darlin’?” he asked as he got dressed in the clothes she had lain out for him so caringly.

“Sick and it’s your fault now get dress.” She snapped and went back to brushing her hair.

“Baby what’s wrong? Your back hurtin’ again? Want me to rub it?” he purred as he approached her from behind, pushing his hands up the centre of her hand up to massage her shoulders.

“Mmm… Yes” She moaned as his hands gently began to move from her shoulders, down her arms and back up to smoothly cup her breasts.

“Bet these hurt to.” He whispered into her ear as his fingers began slowly circling her nipples.

“Yes…” she hissed in pleasure, allowing herself to bathe in the pleasure her was giving her. Oh gawd I don’t wanna stop him but ah gotta.

“Logan get dressed.” She said getting up and moving out of his grasp. “I’ll meet you downstairs”

“No, hold on. Gimme a minute and I’ll be dressed. Ya’ look beautiful darlin’.” He said slipping his black jeans on, not bothering with underwear.

“I know. Now hurry up” she snapped with a small smile on her face, mirroring his smile. “Thank you.” She said as she took his hand and left the room.


The wedding was beautiful, truly amazing. The bride has impeccable taste; in floral arrangement and dresses, for herself and her two bridesmaid. And the groom looked as handsome as he did 10 years ago, hasn’t ages a day. But then again the all that conditioner that jubilee poured all over him only added to his fur’s natural beauty. Thankfully it hadn’t gone too fluffy and static, ruining the wedding photos and enraged a surprisingly bitchy bride. Who’d have thought that the goddess of calm would have massively flipped because the caterer was 10 minutes late? Not even the professor, who had recently been ordained as a minister after a large number of his student had started pairing off, could have foreseen how badly Ororo was going to flip out over her wedding. Most of the inhabitants were just thankful that beast had vetoed the natural wedding, although it would have taken some of the stress away form choosing an outfit.

Not that this bothered Logan at all. Now that Rogue had moved into his room she had taken that decision away from him, which he didn’t mind at all, as long as she didn’t dress him up like Scooter. But given her fondness for his tight black jeans, black cowboy hat and matching boots that wasn’t going to be a problem.

“Storm looked HOTT!” said Jubilee, well bellowed would probably be more accurate.

“Not as belle as you did and are mon amour” Remy said holding his wife from behind and whispering in her ears. Rogue looked up at the two newlyweds and felt sad. Another couple happily married off. And here she was single, FAT from carrying the offspring of a man who seemed to have no intention of ever asking her to marry him. Their child was going to be a bastard. Just like its father. (Not Scott)

“Hey Marie what’s wrong? You look sad.” Logan asked later that night on the dance floor. “Are you feet hurting?”

“Yes” she whispered, trying to contain her tears. Hormones suck! “I wanna go to bed.” And cry.

“Okay baby, let me just get your jacket, ‘kay. “
____________________________________________________________________

Minutes later Rogue lay on their bed half dressed and crying into her pillow. Hearing this Logan stopped pee, mid flow (Not an easy thing to do) and rushed into the bedroom. And sat on the bed next to her stroking her back.

“Marie what’s wrong?” He asked truly concerned. She’d been sad all night and didn’t eat any wedding cake, which even for un-pregnant Marie is odd.

“Ah cant get mah dress unzipped.” She sobbed almost inaudibly into the pillow.

“Well why didn’t you just ask?” he said as he pulled the zipper down her back revealing the strap of her bra that he also unhooked for her. She sat up on the bed and threw off her unwanted clothes roughly and throwing them on the floor.

“Naght.” She huffed before sliding under the covers facing away form him.

Maybe we’re not really meant for each other. Ah always thought that Logan and me were perfect for each other but I guess not. Ah wanted to be with him Ah had to practically force him into being with me. Ah want to get married but Ah don’t want to force him into being chained to me for the rest of his life. He should want it too.

“’Night baby.” He whispered, kissing her head and walking back to the bathroom. Wonder what I did this time. A completely clueless Logan thought as he continues with his manly business in the bathroom.

The next morning Logan woke up to find his beautiful woman sleeping naked on his chest, drooling slightly. Even in sleep she looked like sin. Beckoning god fearing men to hell just for a taste of her plump red lips. Logan carefully slipped out of bed, knowing better than to wake up. Getting dress quickly he left the room leaving her to sleep in late. When he arrived in the kitchen he found Emma sitting on at stool at the centre island drinking coffee.

“Good Morning Logan.” She said locking her eyes onto his and smiling suggestively. Logan knew that Marie would be pissed if she caught him alone in a room with Emma or as Marie called her “Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her” She’s so sexy when she’s angry. Especially when she’s fighting for her man. ME.

“Mornin’” he said nonchalantly walking to the fridge getting out a beer and some bacon strips. As he walked over to the cooker and started heating up the grill he could feel Emma’s eyes on him. “What?!”

“Oh nothing Logan. I was just thinking about that sexy hat you wore to the wedding last night. I’d love to see you in that hat again.” She said keeping eye contact and pulling the spoon from her cappuccino up to her lips and licking off the creamy foam. “And nothing else”

Oh shit.

“Listen Emma…” Logan began turning around only to find her light blue eyes inches away from his.

“Logan, Let’s not play these games. We both know you want a real woman and not some silly child who has no concept of contraception” she purred in his ear and cupping his package.

“Emma!” He said in a hatch tone, taking hold of her hand only to have them slip out of his as she fell to the floor. Looking up from her unconscious form he saw an extremely pissed off Marie.

“Err… Hey baby.”

“Hey baby! Is that all ya’ve got ta say? Ah find ya in tha kitchen letting a stupid-stuck-up-Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her feel you up. What tha’ fuck is wrong with ya?” she screaming at me an dkicking Emma’s seemingly lifeless form.

“Marie I was just about to tell her where to go. If you’d have given me a minute and trusted me you would have heard me tell her that you’re all I need.” He said putting his hands on her shoulders trying to comfort her only to have her flinch away roughly.

“No ya weren’t ya tryin’ to keep ya options open for when I’m inta my third trimester and ya’ll have to cater to ya own needs. Or get this **kick** skanky bitch to help you.” She screeched getting red in the face with rage.

“Marie I have no idea what you are talkin’ about. I was makin’ breakfast mindin’ my own business and she started molestin’ me.” He explained calmly gripping her head firmly and kissing her tenderly on the lips. “I love you. Only you. Why would I want a ice queen when I can have a beautiful princess like you.”

“So that’s what I am a princess. Never a queen?” she asked looking him in the eyes, her anger fading away into sadness.

“Well I hope not darlin’” he said bending his head and kissing her on the lips again. Why would anyone wanna be an ice queen like Emma. For someone so frigid she seems to be a cock hound. First Scott now me. You’d think that that woman would be sick of rejection.

“Hmm… Ya bacons burnin’’” she whispered before turning stiffly away and leaving the kitchen.

“Oh shit!”
End Notes:
Review and I'll most likely update faster. I dont' know why it works that way but it does. xXx
Stupid-Stuck-Up-Slutty-Wanna-Bee-Home-Wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
It's been ages I did plan to write a lot this summer but got distracted. By A Town Called Eureka mainly. Love that show. It's longer then I usually write but I wanted to make up for it being such a long wait. Not a lot longer though because I want to go to bed. Instead of posting a chapter after I hit 1,000 words minimum I'm just ganna post what I've got.
“Okay, drink this and calm down Marie. Now what exactly is it that has you so upset?” Ororo McCoy-Monroe asked in a calm and soothing voice, handing Rogue a cup of tea.

“It… It’s… It’s Logan” she sobbed through huffs of uneven breaths.

“Well obviously it’s about Logan, if anyone else had reduced you to tears they’d be in on the end of Logan’s claws by now. Now come on tell me, quickly if you don’t mind I do have a plane to catch.

Taking a few deep gasps of air to even out her breathing Marie continued. “We live together, we’re having a baby and he still hasn’t asked me to marry him. Or even show any interest in the subject at all. I just don’t think he wants to marry me, ever!” she said with a slight tremble in her voice, to wipe her fresh tears. “I’m going to be a single fat mother stuck in a relationship with a man that only wants me for sex.”

“Oh sweetheart he isn’t using you for sex. Any idiot can clearly see that Logan loves you and would walk through fire to prove it if you asked.” Said stroking Marie’s back as she held her.

“Through fire maybe but not a church. I want him to be mine, forever. And I want to be his. Doesn’t he want that too?” she asked looking Ororo in the eyes with a vulnerable expression on her face.

“He already thinks he does. Maybe he doesn’t think that he needs a ring to make you his because you always have been.” She said sincerely

“Well not everybody thinks like he does, stupid-stuck-up-Slutty-wanna-bee-home-wrecking-Whore-Who-Needs-To-Back-Off-Before-I-Drain-Her for instance.”

“Ah yes Emma has been pushing her boundaries, hasn’t she?! Well when I get back off of my honeymoon I promise you my undivided attention, you’ll be married before you give birth I promise. But have you considered just asking him?” she asked. But only received a “Are you crazy” look form Marie.

“Okay strike that idea then. I’ll be back in one week,” she said standing up and moving over towards her suitcases. “When I’m back I promise to help, but until then there is something you can do. Start arguments with him. Big arguments that result in him sleeping on the sofa okay?”

“But what if he leaves me?” she asked with fear in her brown eyes

“He won’t. Trust me. You’ve just got to let him see what he’s missing.” She spoke softly into Marie’s hair as she hugged her goodbye at the door. “I’ll see you in a week” she called to Marie from the cab before getting in and snuggling into the arms of her husband.

“What was that all about? She was crying.” Hank asked as the car turned out of the mansion and began it journey to the way to the airport.

“Oh just Rogue problems, nothing to worry about..” she said smiling.

“Are these “Problems” anything like the “Problems” that resulted in there being no completion for my being the hairiest male in the Institution?” he asked chuckling.

“Cuddliest man in the mansion” she replied burrowing her face into his fur. “Yes that type of problem Marie want to get married and Logan is showing no signs of wanting the same thing.”

“And where exactly, my love, do you come into this?” he asked pulling her face up to look him in the eyes.

“I’m going to help Logan realise that he wants what his woman wants.” She replies showing no signs of humour, and that worried Hank.

“I don’t think tha-“

“Am I your woman?” she asked interrupting him.

“Well I-“

“Yes or no Hank?” she asked using her Ms Monroe voice. A voice that Hank had to admit aroused him greatly.

“Yes.” He replied kissing her. “I wouldn’t use such a derogatory term but yes you’re my woman.”

“Then you want what I want so deal with it,” she said stopping the convocation.

Hearing a quiet snigger he looked up at the rear view mirror, catching the drivers eyes giving a look of sympathy. Shrugging her went back to enjoying holding his wife in his arms.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Logan get ya hairy arse out here now. Before Ah stick my foot so far up it’ll you’ll be choking on it.” She yelled while sitting on the bed putting her shoes on.

“Well darlin’ your you’re up for arse play then so am I but I think it might ruin the moment” He replied in his usually cocky and over confident manner, gaining him and blunt look from the object of his affection and constant amusement. Walking out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waste he kneeled behind her on the bed running his hands up and down her achy back, causing her eyes to close in ecstasy.

“I swear on the life of my unborn child that I am ganna replace all you white tank tops with pink buttoned shirts.” She muttered knowing that he could hear her as clear as if she had yelled at him.

“Well then I’d just have to walk around shirtless. I’m sure that no one would mind. ‘specially Emma” He whispered in her ear easily from his position behind her on the bed. This cause her eyes to open fully after being closed. Stupid blonde slut trying to move in on my man. Ganna have ta ripe all her stupid bleached hair out by its roots, teacher her a lesson.

“You keep ya’ shirt on around that home reckin’ whore ‘n’ get dressed quickly. Put that nice black shirt on. Oh and your cowboy hat ‘n’ boots.” She said getting up and walking to the bathroom. She loves them boots n hat.

“Darlin’ hurry up in there. You need help getting up?” he asked knocking on the door lightly.

Nothing…

“Darlin’?” he asked again.

Nothing…

“Marie, darlin’ are you okay?” he asked opening the never locked door to the en-suite bathroom, finding a crying Marie on the floor staring into the full length mirror.

“Baby what wrong?” he asked moving onto the floor next to her and pulling her into his chest holding her to him, comforting her with his warmth.

“Ah… So… Fat!” she weezed out between sobs.

“No your not, your just big.” He said in an attempt to comfort his partner.

“Oh gawd!” she sobbed putting her head in his lap.

“I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant that you’re big with child. My child. Our child. Look at me Marie” he said softly bring her head up so he could look her in the eyes. “What’s brought this on. You’re beautiful and you know it. So why are you crying baby?”

“Coz’ ya are noticing stupid skinny bitches like Emma Frost. You’re ganna have sex with her n I’ll be all alone and fat…” she explained with tears streaming down her face as she broke out into tears again.

“Marie, darlin’ that’s stupid. Emma’s a bony and cold bitch. It’s you that I love. Always will. ‘Specially now that you boobs have gotten bigger.” He purred in her ear. But this just brought on a fresh round of tears.

“What are you going to when I… (Sob) Ah’m to pregnant to have sex with? Huh? You can barely go two days with out getting laid. How ar eyou going to survive two months? And that’s if you’re lucky” She asked looking him in the eyes through a veil of tears.

“Well I guess ah’m ganna get used to blowjobs aren’t I darlin’” he said winking.

“Oh so all I’m good for is sex?” she said getting up and walking towards the bedroom door.

“No babe that’s not what I me-“

“Just shut up, Ah’m going downstairs I don’t want ta be late for tha professors birthday party you can come down when your done being a wanka’. Which funnily enough is exactly what you are ganna be for a while.” She said storming out, feeling slightly guilty.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Okay Marie, what’s wrong? You’ve been frosty all night and flinchin’ everytime I touch you.” He asked slamming the bedroom door.

“I’m surprised that you noticed, you’re eyes were glued to her breast all night.” She shouted at him, kicking off her shoes.

“Well her dress did almost reach her bellybutton. You can’t blame a guy for looking at what’s shoved in his face.” He said narrowly avoiding getting hit by a shoe that went hurtling towards his head.

“I can blame a guy who is ‘supposedly’ in a committed relationship.” She yelled storming off into the bathroom to gather her nerves.

“Marie, baby I honestly don’t know what’s got you so upset, maybe it just your hormones. Want me to go make you some tea?” he asked with genuine concern.

“Raht because Ah can’t just be mad at ya, it has ta be tha baby?” she screamed her accent thickening as she got angrier.

“No Darlin’ it’s just that you’re not usually this short with me.” She said backing away form her.

“You’re an arsehole. Just get out I can’t be bothered to deal with you right now.” She said throwing him a pair of jogging bottoms. “And if ya even go anywhere near Emma’s room Ah’m ganna rip off our favourite part of your anatomy.”

“Marie I don’t know what’s gotten you so upset but we both know I’m not going anywhere near that bitch’s room. If you need space I’m gan agive it to you. Goodnight Marie.” He pickeked up his joggers and left the room.

“Ororo better know what she’s doing” she whispered, tears running down her face.
End Notes:
Did you notice the difference in the situation? Not a "toned butt" but just hairy and a threat. Don't worry though I do have a plot. Its not random meanness. Let me know. xXx
I Love Wall by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
It's Finally here Woo.
Chapter Three:


“Logan why are you hiding in the garage?” asked the voice of a familiar redhead as she walked into the garage and sat down on one of Scott’s motorbikes, closest to Logan.

“’Coz Marie’s gone crazy” he said bluntly not looking up from his task.

“Logan she hasn’t gone crazy. She’s just very hormonal. Pregnant women are all like that I assure you.” She chuckled.

“Well then you go get that kid outta her ‘coz it’s giving her crazy bitch hormones ‘n’ it’s pissing me off” he growled.

“Logan! That’s the mother of your child you’re talking about, show some respect.” Jean said sternly, getting nothing but a raised eyebrow in return. “She’ll be back to normal after the baby is born. Just be patient. And respectful probably wouldn’t hurt either.”

“Speak for yourself, I know a few people how would be hurt by my being respectful. Your pansy-arse of a husband for one. What do you think I’m ganna do with all my excess energy now Rogues cut me off?”

“Leave Scott alone. He’s still traumatised after the wedding fiasco. I honestly thought that my dad was going to kill him.” She said with a smile playing on her lips.

“See Pansy, You old man is in his 70’s. Even Scott should have been able to take him. But did he? No he just stood there. Idiot!”

“Logan! Scott is just a gentleman. He’s respectful of other people’s thoughts and feelings. Unlike you, always doing what you want, never once thinking about the repercussions of your actions. I might have to lend Rogue Scott again.” She said turning to leave.

“What you takin’ about Red?” he asked putting his tools down, giving her his full attention.

“She didn’t tell you? Oh well then perhaps I should let her-“

“No you’ll tell me now!” he growled cutting her of.

“Well a few months back Rogue was having really bad morning sickness. And you were off; doing what ever it is you do in Canada once a year. So I loaned her Scott. Rogue needed help in the mornings; someone to help her when she was sick and bring her breakfast. Scott wanted to help Rogue without me worrying about his intentions. So I let him think that I was lending him to her and he didn’t have a choice in the matter. Everybody wins” She explained smiling, uncomfortably.

“Oh yeah and what do you get?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“A well trained daddy-to-be for when we want to reproduce. Don’t be mad at her or him Logan, they were just doing what had to be done. I’ve got work to do in the lad. I’ll see you later.” She said leaving an angry Logan in thought. Once she reached her office she picked up the phone and dialled.

“Hello... Yes, it’s done... No he fell right into it... No, no problems... Exactly what you told me to tell him... I left him to fester. Have you told Rogue?.. Good... Yes, I’m going to tell him. Don’t want a repeat of last time... he needs to no ‘Ro... I know it would be funny but... oh, okay have fun with that. And don’t forget to stretch first.” A smile played on her face as she put the phone down.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “Oh yea’ Scott. Raht there. You’re so good at that. A little harder.” Logan could hear Marie’s moans coming for the Garden. Stupid Scott, Hogging all the Marie back rubbing fun.

“Marie Baby I can do that for you. Er... You know, if you don’t want Scooter rubbing his hands all over you. Might catch flees of sumfin’” He said glaring at a confused Scott.

“No thank ya Logan, Scott’s doin’ a great job. Ya’ve got such masterful hands Scott, has anyone ever told you that?” She asked innocently, looking up at Scott’s face adoringly.

“Erm... No I don’t believe that anyone ever has. Erm, thanks?!” he said before pausing and looking from Rogue’s face to Logan’s. A feeling of dread swept over him. Oh God, not again. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later Rogue. Bye Logan” he said before scurrying off to find his wife.

“So Logan, how’s ya week been? We haven’t had a chance to talk recently. Ah’ve been feeling a real distance growing between us.” Rogue commented with a straight face and her hands clutched together in her lap

“I... You...” he stuttered in confusion that quickly turned to anger. “The only distance that’s been growing is between you and your brain. What the hell are you talking about? You told me to leave you alone.” He shouted at his till calm partner.

“Well I also tell you not to put your wet towel on the bed, but you always ignore that.” She replied looking up at him from the garden bench.

“That’s not the same thing. This is not about me ignoring you. It’s about me, not wanting to upset you.” He shouted back, his voice getting louder.

“Well women change there minds. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to you. Like all the times I tell you to wear underwear with your jeans because I’m not cutting you out when your curlies get stuck in the teeth. But I always change my mind when I see your eyes watering.” Low Blow! Once this kid is born I’m investing in a large multipack of condoms.

After a few minutes passed and Logan had yet to form any sound resembling words in the English language Rogue decided it was time to eat. “Ah’m ganna go and make something to eat. Bacon and beer okay for dinner?”

“... “

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She said before making her way to the kitchen.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Rogues P.O.V

Stage one: no sex? Check (unfortunately)
Stage two: Mind fuck? Jean: Check Me: Check
Stage three: Two steps back? In Action

This is brilliant. This will not only piss off the man in Logan but the animal in Wolverine. Which is always a bonus. As long as wolvies kept feed and fucked he generally keeps quiet but this is sure to provoke a reaction. Wow, I forgot how much fun scheming is and with Storms help it’s even more fun. I hope I’m having a girl. I’ll have so much to teach her and with ‘Ro’s help she’s sure to grow up into a well rounded young lady. Oooh, he’s coming. Act normal.

Oh wow, I don’t think I ever noticed just quite how interesting this wall is before, such an interesting shade of white.

“Marie what are you doin’?” What does it look like? I’m acting normal. Dur!
“Just looking at this wall.” Shit. I’m kinda stupid. Oops, sorry baby Marie/Logan. Mummy didn’t mean to swear. Daddy made me do it. WHAT! This kids ganna be a mutant and if its a psychic I don’t want to set a bad example.

“Why are you looking at the wall?” he asked amusement seeping into his sexy man voice.

“It’s... Pretty? Yup, a sexy arse wall. Defiantly my favourite wall. You should be jealous.” I wonder if there are people with wall fetishes. Doesn’t sound like a bad fetish? I’d take walls over feet any day.

“This isn’t my shirt?” He says scowling, like the sexy monkey man he is.

“Course not Logan, Your shirts aren’t big enough to cover all of ya properly, let alone me and my baby belly.” I calmly explain to him. I wonder what piece of furniture he’s gong to break?!

“So who’s shirt did you borrow Rogue?” he asked me, blatantly already know if the set jaw is any indication to go by.

“Scott’s o’ course silly. His shirts are nice and baggy on me. An’ he has so many nice colours to choose from.” With some stupid name i might add. “Ocean ripple” what’s wrong with just light green? Or maybe it’s like a rhyme or something. Like “Use Ocean Ripple to cover your nipple” I’d by a shirt that had the word nipple on the packaging.

Logan has such pretty eyes, even when there’s fire burning behind them.

“What the FUCK MARIE!!!” He shouted throwing the chair from my vanity against the wall. NOOO! My wall! That was so deliberate. Murderer!

“That’s a little unnecessary don’t cha’ think. I’m using his shirt as pj’s, not using his dick as a tampon.”

“Marie! I... I... I need a beer.” He said leaving the room before he did something that he’d regret. Which is sweet but he didn’t need to slam the door. He’ll wake up baby Marie/Logan. Being kicked isn’t fun you know. You can’t block it if it’s from the inside.

I’ll have to get someone to fix the wall and possible the door hinges. Not to mention replace my shattered chair. Well it won’t be Logan, he’ll be gone for a few days. Masturbation is only fun and naught why you’re a teenager. I wonder if Anne Summers is a relative of Scott’s? Maybe he could get me a discount?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Logan’s P.O.V

Crazy, fucking, stupid.... What’s wrong with her. She’s gotta be doing it on purpose. No ones that’s stupid. I’m ganna go and by he a post. A big fucking poster that covers the hole fucking “Sexy Wall”, saying “Don’t Poke The Wolverine!” maybe then she’s get it.

“Hey Logan Wait up!” Oh great it’s the wet nurse.

“Not a good time Cyclopes.” Maybe if i growl loud enough he’ll piss off.

“But i need to talk to you...” Ignore it. Just think: Beer!

“It’s important!” Beer, Beer, Beer!

“It’s about Rogue.” Beer, Scotch, More Beer!

“Fine then, be whipped for the rest of your life. See if I care.”

What the fuck did he just say?!
End Notes:
xXx
The End is Nigh by lilmizz3vil
Author's Notes:
I know, i know. This story is a lot crapper than the first one but i've been busier this year so shut ya face. :-)


“What the FUCK did you just say???” Logan roared into Scott’s face, invading his space deliberately.

“Erm... I said that... Erm...”

“Said what?” Logan whispered, steam practically coming from his ears.

“It’s Marie’s. She’s plotting agian” Scott yelled quickly and then ducked down onto his knees using his arms as shields form the enraged Wolverine.

“What?” Asked Logan, his usual air of confidence knocked off balance.

“Marie, she’s been plotting again.” Knowing better then to talk about Marie in a negative way around Logan, he tightened his arms around himself to avoid being mauled by a rabid wolverine.

“Would you get up you pansy, before I’m forced to take pity on your wife and show her what a real man can do.” Even pissed off, confused and hungry The Wolverine couldn’t resist the urge to taunt Cyclops.

“Hey you leave Jean... I’m trying to help you, you know? Well more myself, but helping you helps me so this time I’ll deal with it.” He said standing up straight, looking Logan in the eye.

“Are you going to just talk shit all night or explain what it is Marie’s doing?”

“She’s trying to get me killed that is what she’s doing.”

“Nice to know it’s not just me then” he huffed.

“But that’s what it’s all about. YOU!!! Always you getting tricked and me getting tortured. They’re all in on it.”

“Right, I think I know what you’re sayin’. Now, we’re ganna go for beer and you’re ganna start sayin’ more. Got it one eye?” Logan Growled, once again invading Scott’s personal space.

“Definitely. Beer is good. Need beer.” He sighed with relief. Before they both made their way to the garage.

It’s going to be a very long night!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rogues P.O.V

I was rudely woken up at 9:30 by a loud bang on my bedroom door. Who ever it is had better be prepared to die. God this bed is cold without my fury faced fiancé-to-be.

“Go away or die!” I yell at the idiot with a death wish.

“But I’ve bought you presents.” The calm voice exclaimed holding unmistakable amusement.

She’s back, praise the God’s we’re saved. I jumped out of bed and ran across the room in 2 seconds flat. Pulling the door open, only to have it almost crush me as it fell to the floor. Looking up from the floor i see ‘Ro’s quizzical brows raised.

“Don’t ask. Gimme a hug. I’m so glad you’re back” I practically screeched pulling her into my arms. “How was it?”

“It was perfect, absolutely perfect. Hank has excellent taste.” She said with a smile on her face.

“So you didn’t catch any diseases then?” I asked with a smile.

“Nop.”

“Diarrheaa?”

“NO!”

“A rash?”

“Not unless you count friction burns.” She chuckled. And she teaches sex Ed’.

“Eww. Maybe you should go see a doctor.” Wow, a joke. If I can joke I must be awake. Damn, now I’ve got to get dressed. “Gimme a minute while I get dressed and I’ll meet you in the kitchen? You can tell me everything.”

“Okay”


10 minutes later I was dressed and walking hurriedly down the stairs eager know all the details or Ororo’s honeymoon. As I approached the kitchen, I found ‘Ro standing in the door way, stiff as a board.

“Ro? What’s wrong?” I asked before moving around her to see what had her so shocked. “Logan? Scott?”

“Moring.” They both said in unison. They were both in the kitchen sitting at the island reading the paper and eating. The creepy part is that they were reading the same paper. And eating off of the same plate. Logan doesn’t even let ME do that.

“What’s going on?” I asked, moving out from the door way.

“Nothin’ Marie, just reading the paper and eatin’ some bacon. You want some?” He said calmly holding out a piece of bacon.

“No! I don’t want some.” What the fuck is going on. Scott in the same room as Logan, voluntarily. Logan sitting close to Scott without trying to hit him. They’re on drugs. It’s the only explanation that I can come up with. WAIT!!! Why is Logan’s hand on Scott’s thigh?

“Ah’m dreaming.” I grumble as I bang my head into the kitchen wall. Ouch.

“Rogue, honey don’t do that. Baby is going to need a mother without brain damage. Its father already has enough brain damage for both of you.” Scot said with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Ha, ha. If you keep being a naughty boy I’m going to have to punish you.” Logan said in his sexy voice. My sexy voice! It’s mine. All mine.

“Ohh.. promise.” Scott replied in a seductive tone, licking his lips. An action that Logan cannot resist me doing. Apparently it’s not just with me because he leans down and presses his lips to Scott’s.

“Okay, I give up. What the hell is going on here?” i scream, interrupting thier passionate embrace. I must be dreaming, Logan can’t even stand the idea of breathing the same air as Scott. So why has he got his tongue in his mouth?

“What do you mean Marie?” Logan asked, “This is what you wanted isn’t it; Rough caveman and sensitive new age man. Well we decided that you could have both.” I just stared at him, unblinking in disbelief. This could not be happening. Logan has never really listened to me before. Why does he have to start now?! They can’t do this. I don’t want anyone else or Logan to have anyone else.

“I.. n... but...” when did speech become so hard? “What? Erm, what about Jean?” yes, Jeanie, Scott would never do this do Jean.

Well Rogue, we’ve been thing about that and... Perhaps you should tell her honey” Scott said turning to Logan, who immediately stood up dropping the bacon from his mouth as a huge smile broke out.

“Well Marie, darlin’ we were thinking about that and well what with the baby coming and all, oh and Jeanie’s got one on the way. Congrats’ babe.” Logan said winking at Scott who blushed. “well, you’ll both need all the extra help and two boyfriends would be great but a girlfriend and two boyfriends would be even better. I’m sure Jean wouldn’t mind. I sure as hell don’t.”

“Yeah, you do have a bit of a thing for redheads don’t you honey?!” Scott said, getting up and walking over to Logan and me. Then put his arm around Logan waist and the other over my shoulder. “Think about it Rogue, it’ll be perfect!” he said then kissed me on the cheek.

Looking over at Storm and seeing her laying on the floor with her eyes rolled into the back of her head, I felt my self snap.

“NO! No way! Don’t even think about it. You keep your clawed hands away from her. And him. No, NO!!!” I screamed, breaking away from them.

“Why not, Marie? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” he asked coming over to stand in front of me.

“No this isn’t what I fucking wanted! Why the hell would you think I wanted to you go gay and arrange a four-way–relationship with the local tight arses.” Although I’m guessing that Scott can no longer be called that. Why can’t I stop shouting?

“Well you’re always saying how great Scott is. If this isn’t what you want, then what is?” he asked, just getting me angrier. How can he still not know?!

“You, just you and me forever.” I shouted at him, tears falling down my face. “That’s all” I whisper. And now I don’t even have that.

“Marie,” Logan said cupping my face and bringing it closer to his. “You’ve had that since I stopped my camper all those years ago, baby. I love you and always will. But you gotta’ remember, I’m a man and a stupid one at that. If you want something then ask for it, you stupid woman.”

“I want to get married.” I said truthfully for the first time in months. Kissing me briefly before moving back, he pulled something out of his jean pocket.

“All you had to do was ask.” He said, slipping the ring onto my finger and kissing it.

Laughing at my own stupidity, I kiss him on the lips and wrap my arms around his neck. Mine. All mine. Forever.

“Now maybe someone should call Hank and get Storm to the medbay. She probably has a concussion. She hit the ground pretty hard.” He said gesturing towards and unconscious Storm.

“I’m on it.” Scott said as he moved past us, leaving the kitchen.

“Hey Scooter, thanks babe.” He said winking at the now very red mutant as he fleed the kitchen, causing me to break out into a new wave of laughter. .

“Jean’s a lucky girl, I gotta say. For a guy, he’s a good kisser” he said looking at me with a sexy smirk on his face. Bastard.

“I know, right?!” Who’s smirking now Scott sucker?

End Notes:
The end.

Let me know what you think.
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