Remember Me Someday by loganlovesmarie
Summary: In one moment, one split decision changes the lives of two people and Hell is what it leaves in it's wake!
Categories: AU Characters: None
Genres: Angst, Dark, Drama
Tags: None
Warnings: Not Beta Read
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No Word count: 68292 Read: 83589 Published: 12/11/2009 Updated: 11/27/2011
Story Notes:
Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this story! It will be long and dark but I think it is well worth the time to read! I've had this story stuck in my head forever and it's about time I put it down on paper before it drives me crazy. Our two favorite people will be tested to the very limit and hopefully they will find a way to survive it all! Enjoy...

1. The Vote by loganlovesmarie

2. The Hard Truth by loganlovesmarie

3. And so it Begins by loganlovesmarie

4. The Mission by loganlovesmarie

5. She's Gone by loganlovesmarie

6. A New Kind of Hell by loganlovesmarie

7. Painful Truths by loganlovesmarie

8. Crime and Punishment by loganlovesmarie

9. We Choose the Paths We Must by loganlovesmarie

10. The Meeting by loganlovesmarie

11. Everything is Fading by loganlovesmarie

12. She is Found by loganlovesmarie

13. The Pain Intensifies by loganlovesmarie

14. Memories Made of Nightmares by loganlovesmarie

15. Explanation and Redemption by loganlovesmarie

16. Home is Where the Heart is by loganlovesmarie

The Vote by loganlovesmarie

What is taking them so damn long?” The inhabitants of the picnic table turned to look at the fuming boy pacing back and forth in front of them. Three girls and four boys waited none to patiently for their fate. They waited for the moment that they would know their destiny and where their future lied.

It wasn’t really fair to call them boys or call them girls for they were adults now, long past the time when they could consider themselves children. The time had come for them to rise up in this world and make a difference. That is exactly what they were excitedly anticipating.

All of them felt the excitement except for one. How could she feel excited knowing that her destiny was going to be harder to conquer than the others. They really didn’t know how easy they had it.

“I don’t know what you’re so worried about Remy. You know you’re in with flying colors, all of you are…except for me,” she stated angrily.

All of the others were used to the angry Rogue when it came to this particular topic. There had been many sleepless nights of hearing screaming and things breaking and today was no exception. The Rogue was making an appearance in all her angry glory.

As if on cue, the empty picnic chair went flying past the table, almost hitting an unsuspecting Remy LeBeau. The only thing that saved him from a sore shoulder, and possibly a broken bone was his great reflexes. Of course his reflexes couldn’t stop the heated look he sent towards the beauty known as Rogue.

“That almost hit me Rogue!” he said in his Cajun accent.

“Sorry,” Rogue mumbled.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to release some of the built up tension that the wait was causing her, really all of them, but mostly her because she knew exactly what was taking place. She could almost see it as if she were sitting in the room.

There was a light weight on her shoulders that brought her out of her thoughts. Turning towards her left, she saw the understanding eyes of her best friend Jubilation Lee. From the moment she had walked through Xavier’s doors, this slip of a girl had taken her under her wing and not once acted as though Rogue’s deadly skin scared her.

“Come on girl, you know why he acts the way he does. He only wants to protect you. That’s all he has ever tried to do. I know it’s hard but cut the man some slack. Believe me I would give an arm and a leg to have a hunk of meat like him fighting tooth and nail to protect me,” came Jubilation’s soft reply.

“He’s not protecting me on this one Jubes…he’s holding me back and it isn’t fair. I’m not the same scared girl that he met years ago. Instead of protecting me, he needs to respect me a little more.”

There was no reply to that. Jubes gave her friend a small smile and went back to talking to the others.

Rogue looked around at each one of her friends, waiting to know their fate like she herself was. Three women, including herself and four men.

The fiery sparkler, which she had affectionately become known as but to Rogue she was simply Jubes. Sitting next to her was the shy yet very technologically smart Kitty Pryde. Now this girl could walk through just about anything. Pretty awesome for getting yourself…and your friends out of sticky situations. Rogue smiled as she looked at her two best friends.

Next her eyes roamed towards the men of the group. Remy LeBeau was still pacing back and forth, but he had taken out his deck of cards, shuffling them with one hand. Rogue had asked him once to show her that particular trick but she never could quite get it down. Remy or Gambit as he was known to his friends possesses the ability to manipulate kinetic energy. Needless to say, those cards had more use than just shuffling. He could make them become a live explosive anytime he wanted.

Next, Rogue watched the two men known as fire and ice. They were never really called that but their abilities were to control fire and ice. Total opposites yet they were more alike than even they knew. Bobby Drake, mister Iceman himself and St. John Allerdyce better known as Pyro sat as if they had not a care in the world.

Finally Rogues eyes rested on the strongest, yet shyest one of them all. Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin, Piotr for short. To this day, Rogue still couldn’t pronounce his entire name. He was by far the strongest of them all, probably the strongest living at Xavier’s. Piotr, or Colossus as he was known in the danger room, was able to transform is entire body into a strong metallic form, even without his powers he still cuts a physically imposing figure standing at 6'6".

And yet he was still a soft teddy bear. Rogue had caught him and Kitty making noticeable eye contact for the past month. When she would confront Kitty about it, the girl would blush ten shades of red and disappear through the wall. It was so unfreakin fair…and a little annoying.

All in all they were a great team. They had all come together a few years ago and gave their small but close group a name, The X-Men beta’s. Scott had beamed his proudest smile. Storm had hugged each one of us as if they had just told her they were all moving out. Professor Xavier had smiled and told them how proud he was. Jean had not really said much, just told them she liked it. Logan…oh wonderful, annoying, hard headed Logan had grunted, turned on his heels, and went for a smoke.

Coming back to the present, Rogue felt her hopes slowly fading. She knew all of them would be accepted. They had nothing to worry about, which made their concerns silly to her.

“What in the hell is the hold up? How hard is it to make a simple yes or no answer. It’s not rocket science, it’s a simple as breathing. How hard are they gonna make it for us to become X-Men,” John mumbled grumpily.

Sighing loudly, Rogue looked in the door, down Xavier’s extravagant hall towards the doors that held the original X-Men. “Don’t worry John, it’s not your yes or no answer that’s holding up the meeting…It’s mine.”

No one spoke as Rogue turned back to them. She saw, in their eyes, the one thing that angered her more than anything…pity. She didn’t want their pity. She wanted their respect and Logan was making that impossible at the moment.

“Congratulate yourselves guys, you all made it in. Me, on the other hand, I really don’t have a prayer in the world with Logan in there.” I swear, if he keeps me from becoming an X-Men I will drain him till there is nothing left but dust and adamantium! Rogue didn’t say the last part, but she meant it just the same.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“She ain’t ready and that’s the end of it!” Five people sat around the desk of Professor Xavier ready to spit nails. They had been at this for a solid two hours and had gotten no where. What should have only lasted a good thirty minutes had turned into a back and forth heated match with themselves and one angry Wolverine.

Ever so often they would hear the sound of metal slicing through skin as Logan would lose control of his temper. To say that each one of them were starting to have a horrible headache would be an understatement.

“Logan, we have been over this and over this. Rogue is more capable than any of them. I don’t see what the hold up is about her,” Scott Summers, the fearless leader of the X-Men growled.

“I just told ya One Eye, she’s not fucking ready!”

“Logan please…the language isn’t helping matters,” Professor calmly said.

“Well it’s helping me Chuck. I don’t know why all of you care that much. Ya got six good recruits, isn’t that enough?”

Logan was reaching and he knew it. He had been fighting against each one of them. When they would throw up a reason for Marie being accepted into the X-Men his only response was that she wasn’t ready. A little voice in his head kept repeating the same thing over and over with each passing moment. ’It’s not her that’s not ready…It’s you.’ He hated that voice, just as much as he hated this whole fucking meeting.

“Logan, we understand that you want to protect Rogue from any harm that may come to her as an X-Man, but this isn’t protecting her. This is only hindering her from becoming something more,” Jean Grey said softly.

‘Save it for Oprah Jeannie”

The little voice made an appearance again and he wished like hell that he could ram one of his claws through his head to shut it up. It was telling him that he knew they were right. He wanted to give in to the voice, Lord knows it would make the fights with Marie stop but he couldn’t or rather wouldn’t budge on this.

“She’s twenty-one Logan, you can’t stop us from voting her in if that’s what we decide to do,” Scott said defiantly.

Logan looked at “Mister stick up my ass” and wanted to gut him on the spot.

“I have a vote and a say so in this One Eye and if I were you I’d remember that!” Logan growled.

“You know, just for one minute I really wish you would put her selfishness aside and think about what Rogue wants here. She wants to become and X-Man. She wants to make a difference and all you’re doing is standing in the way of what she wants. To think, I actually thought you cared about her.”

Logan had had enough of this ass hole’s mouth. From the very beginning of the meeting he had to endure his ranting and team leader speech. Not anymore though.

The room was filled yet again with the sound of metal cutting skin. Logan took two long steps towards Scott before hitting an invisible barrier. Turning his raging eyes towards Xavier, Logan spoke just above a deadly whisper, “Chuck, you better fuckin’ let me go…now!”

“Not until you calm down Logan. This is getting out of hand and I need order in my office now.”

“Logan, you have had no problem saying yes to the others. Even Kitty, you thought she was ready. Rogue is twice as strong and ready as she is. I know you agree with me here,” came the beautiful-Goddess Storm’s voice.

Slowly, Xavier lifted his hold on Logan as he saw the conflicting feelings in the man’s eyes. He could tell he was fighting with himself on how to feel about this whole situation.

One part of Logan agreed with the mutants in the room. He was proud of the strong, independent woman that Marie had grown up to become. Still, there was a part of him that wanted to protect her from everything. He didn’t want her to know what evil was out there and the responsibility of wearing the X-Men suit entailed. This was not the life he wanted for his Marie.

“Logan, understand something here. Rogue is of age and she meets all of the criteria that we have established for the X-Men team. Some things she far exceeds. Like any other vote here, the majority rules. If we all vote to let her in and you do not, the yes‘s will still outnumber the no‘s,” Xavier said carefully.

Closing his eyes and exhaling loudly, Logan knew all to well that it would come to this. Even before the meeting started he knew his chances of talking them into keeping Marie off the team were slim to none, but he still had to try. He knew how the votes were done at Xavier’s School for the Gifted Youngsters. He had been on the receiving end of one of those votes years ago.

“Logan,” Scott said slowly, “I understand your hesitation on this. I completely get it but she’s ready and you know she is.”

“We want you to be on board with this Logan, all of us do,” Jean cut in looking dead at Scott as she said the last part.

“I can’t,” came the whisper from Logan.

There was an audible sigh that spread around the room. Xavier knew that this meeting was coming to an end and a vote would have to decide the young girl’s future. He was pretty sure how it would play out but it needed to be done and needed to be done now.

“Then you leave us no choice Logan.” Xavier said in his most business-like tone. “I will call upon the existing members of the X-Men to vote yes or no on Rogue being accepted on the team.”

Thus started the one by one vote of yes or no. First came the soft but firm yes from Storm. She did not dare steal a look at Logan for she feared seeing the Wolverine’s deadly eyes looking back at her. Next came Jean. Her yes was another nail in Logan’s coffin.

He wasn’t surprised to hear the “Fearless Leader’s” hurried yes. For a moment Logan wondered if Scott was letting Marie on the team out of spite for him or if he truly wanted her on the team. That thought lasted for only a split second. Logan knew that no matter how much the younger man didn’t like him, he would never put Marie in jeopardy if he didn’t think she was ready.

“Yes,” came the deep voice of Hank McCoy, better known as Beast. Logan had almost forgotten for a moment that the big blue haired man was in the room. He had been on the team longer than Logan, yet with his very public job he didn’t get to come around as often. He was always there when the X-Men needed him though. Logan wouldn’t admit it out loud but he rather respected the man.

Finally, the man that Logan respected more than any of them spoke, “Logan, if you do not think that Rogue is ready to be an X-Men then help her to become ready. You are the best at what you do. I can see no better person to help train her to be a stronger, better X-Men.” After a short pause, as if Xaiver was letting his statement soak in Logan’s head, he spoke more assertively, “My vote is yes as well.”

Sighing loudly, Logan closed his eyes. He was getting a headache which was a rare thing for him. He would not back down, even though he knew his answer meant nothing now. He was outnumbered five to one yet he would stand his ground. “No,” he whispered.

Nothing was said for a moment. Xavier could feel the pain and anger radiating off of the man standing before him. He knew, with time, that Logan would agree that Rogue’s future lay with the X-Men. He also knew that as long as Rogue was an X-Men so would the Wolverine. Xavier felt a sting of guilt knowing that that bit of information made him very happy. Since the moment he met the brooding man, he knew he would be a great asset to his team.

“It is settled then. With a vote of five to one, Rogue will be a part of the X-Men team along with, Jubilation Lee, Kitty Pryde, Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, Remy LeBeau, and Piotr Rasputin. Our little family of six just grew by seven,” Xavier said smiling.

Everyone smiled except for Logan. He just looked out the window, waiting for the moment he would have to face Marie. He would have to watch as her face fell when she heard the vote count. She just didn’t understand…none of them did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:
Okay people...Review please!! Hope it's not boring you to death :D
The Hard Truth by loganlovesmarie

A few moments later the X-Men beta’s came strolling in to Xavier’s office. There was enough room for an entire army in his office so it was no where near cramped as the everyone made room for the other. Each X-Men had a bright smile on their faces for the students who now would be their equal.

Everyone except for one. Logan sat in the window sill of Xavier’s huge window overlooking the back lawn. His face was a deep scowl as studied nothing in particular. He just couldn’t bring himself to look at Marie yet.

“Is this seat taken?” Logan looked up to see Marie standing there watching him. Her face was unreadable yet her scent gave away how nervous she was. He knew it was only a matter of time before her nervousness was replaced with anger. A part of him wasn’t looking forward to that.

He didn’t say a word as he removed his large leg for her to sit next to him. It was nothing new really, they would sit with one another for everything, meals, hockey games, you name it, they were always together. Out of the corner of his eye he studied the girl next to him. She was not the little girl that she was when he first met her. The scared girl from Mississippi that let no one close because of her deadly skin. He could not deny that she was now a woman, and a very beautiful woman and that. When his thoughts would travel down this particular path he would stop them in an instant. He could not think of Marie in that light. The annoying voice in his head reminded him that he was old enough to be her grandfather…or worse her great-great grandfather.

The meeting started with Xavier giving a long and rather inspiring speech about what it was to be an X-Men. The hours of labor and stress that the job entailed, but he also talked about the extraordinary feeling of the first time you saved some poor soul’s life. His speech was so amazing that Marie found herself ready to go to work as an X-Men. If she made it in that is.

After the speech from the Professor, Scott took over the meeting. In is “fearless leader” voice he started to call the names of the seven individuals one by one. As he went down the line there were shouting and clapping and a few tears…happy tears of course. Every vote was an unanimous yes and Marie found herself being very happy for her friends. She watched their excited faces as they talked among themselves. It did not escape her attention that her name hadn’t been called yet nor did it escape her attention that it seemed as though Scott was putting it off.

“Rogue, congratulations, with a vote of five to one you are the newest member of the X-Men.”

It took a moment for what Scott said to sink in. Marie had just known that she wouldn’t make it. Before she could control herself she jumped up from the window sill and started clapping happily. She knew she looked like a school girl but at that moment she didn’t care. She was now an X-Men.

“Chica!” Jubilation said excitedly as she hurried towards her friend.

“Oh my God Jubes, I made it! I’m an X-Man,” Marie said as she threw her arms around her best friend.

“I know! Looks like Wolvie’s vote didn’t matter after all,” Jubilation said as she stared daggers into Logan. She watched his jaw tense up and for a moment thought that perhaps she overstepped her bounds with that comment.

Marie’s happiness shattered then. When Scott had congratulated her for making it, she had almost missed the vote count because of her excitement. Jube’s reminded her of the vote count now. Her smile fell as she slowly dropped her arms.

“Hey, Rogue what’s wrong?” Jubilation asked concerned.

Marie didn’t say a word as she turned and looked at Logan. He was still staring out into the back lawn but she knew he could feel her eyes boring into him. He had really done it. He had voted against her and tried to keep her from getting something she really wanted. Did he really not have one ounce of faith in her?

“You voted against me didn’t you?” she whispered.

He didn’t speak at first. He wouldn’t deny it, how could he. He just didn’t want to look at the hurt that would surly be in those doe-like eyes.

“Don’t be so shocked Marie, I told you I didn’t think you were ready.”

He did not miss the flinch from Marie as she heard his low, rough voice. Without a word, she turned and headed for the door. Logan sighed heavily before turning towards her fleeting footsteps. This was the moment he was not looking forward to.

Standing from the window sill, he followed Marie out the door into the hallway. He wasn’t surprised that all eyes had been on them through the whole thing. Yet again they had made one of their big scenes.

“Marie…Marie,” he called but she wouldn’t stop. She was mad, he could tell that for sure. He also could smell the tears and that was something he didn’t expect. Anger, he could deal with but a hurt, crying Marie…he wasn’t so sure.

Reaching her, he grabbed her arm and turned her around to him. Sure enough she was crying. He wanted to kick himself for not wearing his gloves so he could wipe them away, but he didn’t think she would even want him to if he could.

“What do you want,” came her low watery voice.

“I think we should talk about this darlin’, “ Logan started.

“There is nothing to talk about, you don’t want me on the team. You don’t think I’m good enough or old enough, yet you voted yes to everyone of my friends who, may I remind you, are the same age as me. What do I have to do to prove to you that I’m ready Logan? What do I have to do to prove that I want this more than I’ve wanted anything else in my life?”

“Marie, please understand where I’m coming from. I’m doing this to protect you. I swore to you on that train that I would take care of you and that’s exactly what I’m doing. This isn’t a life Marie, being an X-Man. Every time you walk out that door for a mission you may not come back. You want that kind of life?” he asked harshly.

“It’s good enough for you.”

Logan was at a loss for words. She was right, it was good enough for him but she was better than him. She always had been.

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t want this Marie. I’m good at what I do and what I do is killing,” he whispered.

“If this is your idea of taking care of me Logan then I don’t want your care anymore. I’m not some child you can order around, nor do I want a friend who doesn’t have any faith in me.”

With that, Marie turned on her heels and marched towards her room. Logan did not try to stop her. She had made a point, she didn’t need someone in her life that didn’t have faith in her. What she didn’t realize was it wasn’t about faith. It was him being able to actually let her live without his protection. He would have to let her face dire circumstances without him being there to shield her from it all. Logan wasn’t sure he could do that. Marie had become the most important thing in his life. He had spent most of his life not knowing who he was or where he came from. He was bitter and had no care for anyone or anything. That all changed the day he met Marie. She had given him peace about himself. She gave him a calmness that he nor the Wolverine inside of him had ever had. Because of her, he now had a real home to call his own. Yet none of these things gave him the right to control her life. He needed a cold beer and a cigar.

Grabbing his jacket and Scott’s bike keys, Logan headed to the garage. He needed to think and to do that he needed to be alone.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The alarm’s numbers had only moved two minutes from the last time Marie had looked at it. She was lying in her bed, at two in the morning, no closer to sleep than when she first lay down. Turning from one side to the next, she just couldn’t find a comfortable position. It seemed that when she would finally settle down and almost fall asleep today’s events would send her right back wide awake. Did she really tell Logan that she didn’t want him as a friend? How could she not have him in her life? She had come to rely on him over the years. He meant more to her than anyone in this place. She was a lost, scared girl when she found him and from that moment on he had never let her feel scared again. Logan went beyond the call to make sure that she had everything she wanted. Everything but being an X-Man.

With that last thought, Marie let out a frustrated sigh and climbed out of bed. Grabbing her house coat and her gloves, Marie headed down towards he kitchen.

With it being early in the morning there was no one awake. Everyone was resting easy on this night, everyone but her. Her mind was a jumbled mess of nerves, as if she had just touched someone and was trying to block their thoughts and feelings.

Entering the kitchen, she did not bother to turn the lights on. The moon was shining through the windows giving off enough light to see. The kitchen was very spacious, of course it had to be to accommodate the amount of mutants that Xavier’s housed.

Walking towards the refrigerated, Marie yelped when she saw a shadow move in the far corner of the kitchen. She wasn’t sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her or if she had actually saw something moving. Her questions were answered as a quite voice spoke in the darkness.

“Can’t sleep?”

She would know his voice anywhere, day or night. She should have known that Logan would not be asleep.

“Not really,” she said low. “Thought I would grab some warm milk.”

“When you’re done, come out to the picnic table,” Logan said as he stood to leave.

Marie drank the last of the warm milk and made her way outside. Logan stood smoking a cigar with his back turned towards her. She hated when things would come between them. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. She had told him she didn’t need his protection…or his friendship. Marie felt sick to her stomach to think what Logan was about to say to her. Was he going to leave now? Did he agree with her that they should just cut ties and move on?

“Marie, it’s never been about if I didn’t have enough faith in you or if I didn’t think you could be as good as anyone else on the team. Hell you could take down a group of men twice your size before any of them knew what hit them.” Logan paused to take a drag from the cigar. The amber end lit up his troubled face.

“Logan,” Marie started but was cut off.

“Please, let me finish here okay?” Logan asked just above a whisper.

“If I had my choice of anyone in this house having my back, it would be you every time. You’re smart Marie, your strong.”

“But…” Marie whispered.

Finally Logan turned towards her. The full moon shown on his face giving it a surreal look. That was not what made Marie sit up and take notice, but it was the look in his eyes as he stared at her.

“Do you really not get it darlin’?” He asked slowly.

The truth was she didn’t get it. If he believed in her abilities and thought she was good enough to back him in any situation then why was he fighting so hard to keep her from doing just that. Sadly, it didn’t make any sense to her.

Logan sighed loudly as he spoke, “Marie, you are the only family I have, the one good thing in my life and probably the part of my life that I can’t remember. When I look at you I feel that at least I did one thing right in this world. If I ever lost you…”

His words died in his throat. He could not even think about losing her and saying it out loud was impossible. Marie didn’t need him to say it because she knew exactly what it was that was left unsaid. She felt it every time he walked out of Xavier’s door to go on some secret mission or to find something about his past.

“I understand Logan, but do you not think I have to deal with the same thing when you have to go? Do you not think that I sit around wondering if this time will be the time you don’t come back?”

“I’m different Marie, it’s not the same,” he argued.

“Yes it is Logan. You’re damn hard to kill that is true, but you aren’t immortal. But I deal with my worries because I know that you’re doing what you have been born to do. You protect the ones that can’t protect themselves. When you walk back through that door, it’s another answered prayer.”

It had been years since she had seen Logan so vulnerable and it took her by surprise that it was herself that was making him feel that way. She knew that they had a connection but she didn’t realize that he felt it so deeply. Marie only thought it was one-sided. Logan was proving that wrong.

Standing, Marie slowly walked towards Logan. She reached out and grabbed his hand in her gloved one. He did not protest. “If you’re scared of losing me Logan then train me. Teach me every single thing there is to know so I can defend myself.”

Logan laughed despite himself, “You sure about that darlin’? I’m gonna be on your ass hard.”

Marie smiled at him, thankful to hear a laugh. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from ya you big ox!”

Logan wrapped his arms around Marie, bringing her towards him. Laying his cheek upon her head, he allowed her scent, a scent that he would know anywhere that was just Marie, to blanket him. She really was the most important person in his life. Maybe this would be okay after all. Only time would really tell.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

FOUR MONTHS LATER…

“Bobby, what the hell are you doing. You have to guard Kitty’s blindside, don’t allow anyone to even get within striking distance, this is textbook stuff!” Logan screamed.

He had been training the newest members of the X-Men for the past four months now and all in all they had impressed him. There were still getting the kinks out though, for instance their lack of interest when it came to easy lessons. They were all ready for the dangerous combat to begin but if they didn’t have the basic principles down first, the dangerous part would be impossible.

Logan watched Marie most of all and couldn’t help the swell of pride as the young woman was a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes, her movements would mimic his own so well that it scared him. He wondered just how much of himself was still in Marie’s head. He even swore that she had growled at him a few times while they sparred.

“That’s enough for today. Class dismissed,” Logan said to the group.

They all sighed in relief and made their way towards the showers. Marie headed towards Logan before going to the showers. She had to make sure their plans were still on for later that evening.

“Hey big guy, we still on for tonight.”

“Wouldn’t miss it darlin’, seven sharp.”

“Great, I’ll bring the popcorn if you bring the beer,” she said as she walked towards the showers.

“Count on it!” he yelled to her as she went out of his sight.

He and Marie had been planning this night for a while now. It was nothing special really, but they would be able to spend a few quiet hours together watching their favorite hockey team kick ass. He found himself getting excited at the thought of spending time with Marie. As soon as the excitement started he squashed it. Logan still would not let himself go down that road. Not now and probably not ever. Marie deserved someone better than him, someone that could give her everything that she deserved.

Shaking his head, Logan turned and walked towards his room. He had to get ready and make a trip to the store for the beer.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


“Chica, you two just need to do it and get it over with. Quit beating around the bush about your damn feelings for each other All this built up sexual tension between y’all is starting to give me a headache.”

Marie was standing in the bathroom combing her two toned hair when her blunt and often outspoken best friend Jubes spoke. Marie was so surprised at what she said that she dropped the hair brush.

Walking back in her bedroom, Marie stood, with her hands on her hips, staring at her friend. “First off Jubes, I kinda have a deadly skin problem which makes it hard for that kind of physical activity. Secondly, Logan doesn’t even think of me like that. Thirdly, There is no sexual tension between me and Logan.”

“A, there are ways around your skin girl. B, he most certainly thinks about you like that, and C, there is more sexual tension between you and Logan than there are mutants in this house.”

“Okay Jubes, whatever idea is rattling up in that thick head of yours….Stop!” Marie said concerned.

“Oh chica, I’m not gonna have to do a thing. You and Logan will figure out what everyone else in this house already sees. It’s only a matter of time.”

With that, the fiery sparkler stood up from Marie’s bed and walked out. Marie stared at the door for a long time after she left. Her words were still running wild inside Marie’s mind and it made her wonder if what Jubes had said could be possible. Everyone knew that she had a huge crush on Logan and had always loved him but it never occurred to her that maybe he could feel the same way. Was it possible that he could?

“Grrrr, get a hold of yourself girl. You know damn well that that man would never see you for anything other than a kid sister,” she mumbled.

Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, Marie turned and made her way out into the hall. It was a Friday night and not many people were at the mansion tonight. Marie always loved the weekends, that is when Logan was home. It was always quiet and they could enjoy a peaceful moment or two.

She knew exactly where his room was, which was only three doors down from her own. All of the new members of the X-Men had been moved to the teacher’s wing seeing as they would start teaching in the fall. Marie was looking forward to that very much. She always had a love of teaching and wanted more than anything to be a teacher.

Standing in front of Logan’s door, Marie suddenly realized she was very nervous. “Damn Jubes and her silly thoughts,” Marie whispered.

She found for just a moment she couldn’t bring herself to knock on his door. Her hands were sweating bullets and she needed to get herself under control before she saw him. Logan would be able to read through her easily.

She wanted to go back to her room to calm down. Sweat formed on her brow and her heart was racing ninety to nothing. She had absolutely no idea what was going on. Was she that nervous to see Logan? I mean come on, it was just Logan and how many times had they done this? Something had changed though, and it seemed as though Marie was that school girl with her school girl crush again.

Turning away from the door, Marie took two steps before she heard Logan’s door opening and his husky voice calling her. “You runnin’?”

Turning back to him, she had no idea what she would say or how in the hell she would explain why her heart was about to explode out of her chest. Watching him stand there watching her didn’t help the situation. She was in trouble and she knew it. She was in trouble because she realized that she was head over heels in love with Logan.

 

 

 

 

And so it Begins by loganlovesmarie

“Marie, you okay?”

She knew she was standing there looking like a deer caught in a car’s headlights yet she could not make her tongue move to talk. For a moment she wondered if it was possible that her heart could explode because of how fast it was beating. Logan had a confused look on his face and she could tell he was concentrating on her rapid heartbeat.

“I..um, I f…forgot the popcorn,” she blurted out like a bubbling fool.

“Okay, where did you forget it?” Logan asked as if talking to a child that had lost it’s toy.

“Kitchen.”

As if her racing heart wasn’t bad enough, she felt her face turning ten shades of red. She made a mental note to flay Jubes later for doing this to her. She was completely fine until she went and ran her mouth and got Marie’s mind turning.

“You gonna go get it?” Logan asked.

Without a word, Marie turned and walked none to slowly towards the stairs. She just needed a moment to get herself together before she made a total fool of herself, scratch that an even worse fool in front of Logan. This night was not starting off good at all.

Walking into the kitchen, she went for the sink instead of the cabinet that housed the popcorn. Grabbing a glass, Marie filled it to the top with water and downed it in seconds. She closed her eyes and made her body calm itself. This was completely ridiculous, I mean it was Logan for crying out loud. She had had a crush on him for years and she never freaked out like this.

Taking a few more minutes to relax herself, Marie turned and headed back to Logan’s room. As she made it to the stairs she saw Jubes, Kitty, Remy, Bobby, John and Piotr walking towards the front door. She knew they were headed out to a movie, they had asked her to go but she had other plans obviously. Jubes turned around and waved, all the while smiling the biggest smile. If looks could kill, Jubes would be dead at the front entrance to Xavier’s home.

“I’m gonna kill you,” she mouthed.

Jube’s laughter filled the foyer and grated on Marie’s nerves. “No you want chica. You will be thanking me later!” With that, the door closed and Marie was thrown back into silence. Shaking her head, Marie climbed the stairs and headed back towards Logan.

He was still standing out in the hall when she arrived. Her heart had calmed down, yet she couldn’t help the bit of butterflies in her stomach as she looked at Logan. He was wearing jeans that were as tight as if they were a part of his skin. She wanted to thank the makers of those jeans right about now. He had opted to take his plaid shirt off, that he was wearing that day, so he was standing in just a white wife beater. She changed her mind, she wanted to thank the people that made wife beater shirts instead. On Logan, it left little to the imagination.

“Where’s the popcorn?” Logan asked confused.

Without thinking, Marie hit herself in the forehead as she remembered she had forgotten to pick up the popcorn. How in the hell would she explain this one.

“Marie, you are starting to worry me darlin’. What’s going on with you tonight?”

She had to think of something fast. “I…I guess I’m just tired. It’s been a long day you know.” she said with a small smile. “I don’t really feel like popcorn anymore. If you want some I can go back down and get it.” that was as good as she could come up with and she said a little prayer that it would work.

Logan just grunted and turned to go back in his room, holding the door for Marie to enter. She wasn’t for sure that Logan bought that little lie but he didn’t push her for more information. She had been in his room more times that she could count but tonight it looked different. It took a moment for her to realize what the difference was. Most of the time Logan’s room was a mess and he didn’t care to clean it up even if Marie was coming over to watch a movie or a game, but tonight it was spotless.

“I…I thought it was time to clean up a little, was getting too clustered,” he mumbled.

“Looks nice,” she said smiling.

The game had already started and they had missed about ten minutes. Marie felt kinda bad for that, she knew how important this game was to Logan. It was the playoffs after all.

Without a word, they settled on the bed and watched the game without a word. Marie could feel the tension in the air and again cursed Jubes for earlier. For one horror-stricken moment, she wondered if Jubes had said anything to Logan and that’s why he too was acting so strange. No matter what, something was off, and if was surly going to be a very long night. Little did Marie know, that would be true in the worst possible way.

Three hours and six beers later, Marie was surfing through the channels. Without a word, Logan had reached for the remote and passed it to her. She was feeling quite tipsy at the moment and couldn’t help it if she past some stupid commercial that made her giggle like an insane woman. Ever so often she would see Logan smiling at her as she laughed.

She finally landed on a T.V. movie that was one of her favorites. It was about a woman that had had an accident and forgot everything about her life. She didn’t know her name or the people in her life including the man that she loved. It was a depressing movie but had a happy ending. Marie found that she couldn’t turn the channel even though she was sure that Logan was not interested in a movie like this.

“I bet it would suck to not know who you are?” Marie said in her drunken haze without even thinking.

When she realized what she had said, she sat up immediately and turned towards Logan. “Oh God Logan, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” she said frantically.

“Hey, darlin’ calm down. I’m not mad,” he said softly.

“That was so thoughtless of me. I mean with the beers and this movie, I just kinda let my mind and mouth run away with me.”

Logan sighed, “It’s a horrible thing to wake up one day and not know who you are or where you came from. To be honest, I wouldn’t wish that on my worse enemy. Not even Magneto, even though I hate the son of a bitch.”

Marie felt tears form in the corner of her eyes. She never was a good drunk and now she had just made Logan rehash some horrible memories.

“Don’t do that Marie. You’ve always been able to say anything you wanted to me. If you want to know what it’s like to not have your memories, I’m the best guy to ask.” he said half smiling. He was trying to lighten the mood for her behalf to make her feel better about this. All it did was make her burst into tears.

“Hey…hey,” Logan said as he wrapped his arms around Marie. “I promise darlin’ it’s okay, no harm done.”

She leaned back so she could look at his eyes. She could tell if he was lying by his eyes. What she saw there took her breath away. He was looking at her with such love and warmth that for a second she wondered if the beers were playing a trick on her.

“Then, you find something in your life that doesn’t make the pain quite so hard to deal with anymore,” he said softly.

Marie could not speak. She just stared at Logan as he stared right back at her. She watched him raise his gloved hands and wipe the tears away. On instinct, her eyes closed at the feel of his touch. It was as light as a feather yet she felt it through her entire body.

As if a string was pulling them, they both leaned in to each other at the same time. Their breaths, caressing each other’s faces. Again Marie’s heart begin to race as she felt Logan’s hand on the back of her head, cradling it in place. This moment was one that she had dreamt of for a very long time but did not dare let herself believe that it could actually happen.

Only inches apart, reality came crashing down on Marie. Her eyes went wide as she realized what was about to happen. “Logan,” she said worriedly.

“Hm,” he said dazed.

“Logan my skin.” She tried to get out of his grasps. He was too close, way too close. Just a few more inches and he would be touching her skin.

Without a word, Logan leaned back enough to reach into his side drawer beside his bed. What he pulled out stunned Marie. There laying in his hands was a silk scarf.

“You…um, left it one night. I thought I’d leave it right there in case you…we ever needed it.”

“Logan I’m confused here. You want me…as in want want me?” Marie asked shyly.

He hesitated for a moment. She could see the conflicting emotions dancing in his eyes. He wanted her, yes, but he also thought it wasn’t such a good idea.

“Marie, I shouldn’t want you. I could name many reasons why this right here is a very bad idea, but in truth it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I’ve been fighting it for a long time now and I will let it go if this isn’t what you want but after earlier tonight I figured out that this might be what you want after all,” he said smiling.

She couldn’t help it, she joined in his smile. This was crazy, she knew it, yet it felt right. She wouldn’t deny that she wanted this man with ever fiber of her being.

“Now if there are no objections I’d like to kiss you now.” Logan said as he placed the silk scarf over Marie’s mouth.

One second, that’s all she needed to feel Logan’s lips upon hers. Just one second yet fate had other plans. Before she could experience the thrill of being kissed by Logan, Professor Xavier’s voice rang through her head. She could tell that Logan was hearing him as well. He had a look of pure rage on his face so deep Marie was afraid he would forget that she was so close to him.

“I need all X-Men to report to my office immediately for an urgent matter. This cannot wait, so I strongly urge you to hurry.”

Marie was troubled by the Professor’s voice. He sounded strained, stressed.

“Did you get that Marie?” Logan asked barely containing the rage.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Logan stood from the bed pulling Marie with him. She was caught between feeling total disappointment to total worry. She had wanted to kiss Logan badly yet the Professor’s voice sounded urgent. Without another word, they existed Logan’s room and headed for Xavier’s office.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

An hour later all of the X-Men were seated around a very tired looking Xavier. He had not spoken to them, letting them know what exactly was going on and it started worrying Marie even more. She could tell that Logan was getting pretty antsy himself waiting on their leader to speak.

“I have received some rather disturbing news from one of my informants. About two hours away from here, totally hidden away from the outside world, lies a compound. It has been in existence for several months now under my own nose.” Self loathing rang from Xavier’s words and it scared Marie. “This compound is run by our own government, and in this compound exists some forty-five mutants.”

“A Lab?” Logan’s strained voice interrupted the Professor.

“Yes Logan, a Lab. They have been experimenting on these poor mutants for months now.”

“Professor that’s impossible. After everything we’ve done to aide the humans. After everything Hank’s done in his position with the government, they shut those Labs down.” Scott said shocked.

Marie was horrified. It just didn’t seem real. How could the government go back to their experiments after all the good that had been done between the human/mutant relations. Xavier had to have been wrong.

“I have pictures of the compound from the inside and the outside. I assure each and everyone of you that this is happening.”

With that, Xavier pulled out a file and opened it, laying each picture out one by one. Marie did not dare get close enough to look at them. What she saw from her seat beside Logan was enough to make her physically sick. Children, looking as thought they hadn’t eaten in weeks, their eyes sunken in to their faces, stared back at her from those pictures. She felt Logan stiffen beside her and reached to grab his hand. He held on to it as if his life depended on it.

“How long have you known about this?” Logan asked accusing.

“I swear to you, the moment I got the proof in my hands I called this meeting to order. Not for one second would I have let this go on any longer.”

“What are we going to do Professor?” Storm asked softly.

Taking a deep breath Xavier spoke, “I’m giving you all five hours to rest and get sober. It is nine o’clock right now, at two in the morning we move in and get those poor souls out. I have all the Intel we need to get this job done. I’m going to need each and everyone of you in on this. I’ve called Hank and filled him in on what is going on and he is on his way as we speak.”

No one said a word. They all stared at the nameless faces sitting on Xavier’s desk. Everyone was too shocked to do anything but stare.

“Please, all of you do what you must to be ready. I’m going to need each one of you to have a clear head about you before we take on this mission, the newest member’s especially.”

Marie’s first thought was that this was a nightmare, yet what she did not know is that her nightmare was just beginning.

 

 

 

The Mission by loganlovesmarie

Walking out of Xavier’s office, not a word was said by anyone. It seemed as if everyone was in a daze. The reality was that while they were cozy in their beds, in their rooms every night there were other’s who were suffering at the hands of the government. What had happened in these months to allow them to just go back to experimenting on mutants. That had been banned a year ago.

It took Marie a moment to realize that she was being pulled along the hallways. Her destination was being decided by Logan instead of herself. At that moment, she didn’t really care.

Coming to Logan’s room, they both enter. The room’s earlier events came crashing down on Marie. She had been so close to kissing Logan, something she had wanted to do since the very moment she had met him. Now those things seemed far away from her. She could not afford to be happy when so many were suffering. No, she would rescue those poor souls first, those children and then she would resume what was started earlier.

“Marie, lay on the bed and try to get some sleep,” Logan mumbled.

Sleep? She was no where near being tired enough to sleep. She watched as he started to pace in front of the bed. His face was a mask of fury and she could tell he was on the brink of losing it. She could only imagine what kind of memories, if any, this was bringing up in his mind. She knew for a fact his nightmares were playing repeatedly in his head right about now because the same was happening to her. That was the only information she had to go on to prove how horrible those labs could be. Grown men and women celebrating their successes while a poor mutant lay in more pain that should be humanly possible. It just seemed so cruel and horrible.

“I can’t sleep,” Marie whispered.

“You have to try darlin’. I…we all need you with a clear head in a couple of hours and if you aren’t ready, you could put yourself in a world of trouble out there.”

Marie knew he had a point, and the same could be said for himself. He needed some rest as much as she did. She could tell with his tortured face that sleep would not come to him yet she still had to try.

“Logan, you need some sleep too.”

“Not tired,” was his short response.

This didn’t surprise her. She was expecting him to say nothing less than he wasn’t going to get some sleep. Slowly walking towards him, she wrapped her arms around his large frame and held him tight. She had always felt the safest in this position. Nothing and no one could get to her as long as his arms were around her. “Then hold me?” she asked.

There was an audible sigh as he directed her towards the bed and they both lay down. They were careful of her skin, wrapping her in the sheets while Logan lay on top of them. She had her back turned towards him as his massive arms snaked around her bringing her towards his chest.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sound of his breathing and the feel of his heartbeat and before she could stop herself she fell into her dreams.

The sound of the alarm clock and Logan moving around woke Marie from her dreamless sleep. She didn’t even realize that Logan had an alarm clock until that moment.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Marie wiped the sleep from her eyes as she tried to get herself wide awake. She was not the kind of person that could just open her eyes and be wide awake, she needed a few minutes. At least she was sober now which was a good thing. Her mind was becoming more sharp with each passing minute.

“We gotta go darlin’. Xavier is going to brief us before we head out,” Logan said standing in front of her.

Marie shook her head in agreement and stood to walk out the door. Logan grabbed her gloved hand and both walked in the direction to the underground of Xavier’s Mansion. They were the last to arrive as they took their seats to listen to what the Professor had to say.

Laying a blueprint out on the round table, he began to describe what they were looking at. “There are two entrances to the compound. One right here and one on the back side of the building. The two ways in which you all will make entrance. There is a reason why I am having you go at this time of night. Right now, the compound is guarded by some thirty guards, the least amount at any time.”

“Thirty guards? How has that been enough to keep the mutants in check, I mean with their powers couldn’t they have escaped?” Bobby interrupted.

“My informant told me, in so many words, that they have found a way to suppress the mutant gene. He did not give me any details, the time was short and he gave me only what he deemed important information to help us get in and get out.”

“Will your informant be there?” Jean asked.

“No. He has been working days to get me the information that I needed.”

“Who is this guy? If he is so loyal what was he doing working at that place?” Logan asked.

“I can not reveal my sources Logan. I can tell you that he is human, and that he believes that mutants have a place in this world right beside the humans. He is sympathetic towards our cause and came immediately to me with the information to help these mutants.” After a quick pause to let the information sink in Xavier spoke again. “There is another thing. My informant could not tell me if our government really knows what is going on or if they only know some of it. There is one person in charge of which he has no clue who that man is. It is a don’t ask don’t tell policy in the compound. The one that makes the decisions has never been seen by any of the guards at the compound including my informant.”

“So it could be civilian money keeping those doors open?” Scott asked.

“No, I do not think that is the case. I believe whole heartedly that whoever is in charge is from the government, I just don’t know how much information they are giving their superior officers.”

“So, what do we do Professor?” Remy asked.

“You get in, you grab those mutants and you get out. The compound is two stories. When you make your entrance you will be on the first floor. The mutants are being held in a holding pad below ground on the second floor. This is your way down their.” Marie watched him point to what look like two sets of stairs. “There will be guards stationed at each end of the hall right here leading to the stairs. Once you have taken care of them, there will be other’s stationed at the stairs and along the corridor leading to the holding chamber.”

“What’s on the first floor?” John asked.

There was no answer from Xavier. He sat staring at each one of his “children”, wishing that he did not have to send them on this mission. He went through this every time he had to send them to rescue a mutant in need. He hated it every time. “The only word fitting for what the first floor holds would be to call them torture chambers.”

Marie could not stop the flinch. It was as if someone had come up to her and slapped her hard on the face. Torture chambers Xavier had said. What the hell did that mean. The Logan and Eric in her head answered that one for her. After flashes of Eric’s memories and Logan’s nightmares, Marie felt as if she was going to be sick. The bile was steadily rising from her stomach to her throat and she needed to get to a bathroom soon.

Without a word, Marie stood up abruptly and ran for the nearest bathroom. She could hear a concerned Logan calling her name, chasing after her but she couldn’t stop. Running into the bathroom, Marie grabbed the porcelain god and let the contents of her stomach out.

After she was done, she sat for a moment with her head against the cool wall. The door to the bathroom opened and she saw Jubes and Kitty walking in. They were looking at her with sympathy as they both sat beside her. Nothing was said between the girls until they knew she was ready to talk.

“Sorry y’all. I’ll be okay in a minute.” she whispered.

“Logan’s about to tear the bathroom wall down if you don’t come out and let him know you’re okay,” Jubes said. Leave it to her to joke at a time like this. Despite herself, Marie started laughing. The laughter helped and within a matter of minutes Marie was on her feet again headed back to group.

Walking back out in the hall, Logan’s concerned face fell on Marie. He walked up to her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’m fine Logan. Sorry about that,” she said answering his unasked question. “It’s okay,” he said gently.

The four mutants walked back to join the group patiently waiting for them. Marie apologized several times and each on of her comrades assured her they understood. This situation was hard on every single one of them.

“Save who you can and if possible get each one of those lives out of there.” There was a pause as if Xavier was questioning himself on what he was about to say. “If…you see that it is too dangerous to get to them…retreat immediately. I do not want to lose any of you and if that means…” He did not finish his sentence. It hung in the air like a deadly gas. To Marie’s knowledge, Xavier had never told them to abandon anyone before and she wondered why he did it now.

A few minor things were discussed and then each moved towards the locker rooms to change. This would be the first time the newest members of the X-Men would wear their suits. As Marie walked into the locker room she saw that each suit was hanging up, waiting for it’s owner to claim them. She grabbed hers and went to put it on.

Twenty minutes later the guys were standing at the jet waiting on the women to join them. Each one was wondering why it took the women longer to get ready then it did them yet no one spoke their thoughts. This was not the best time to do such a thing. As if the women heard their thoughts, they all came towards the jet. Xavier was sitting beside the door of the jet, watching each one of the X-Men. He wished he could go with them but he was needed here. Someone had to stay with the children of the house so he would watch them from Cerebro. Each one of the X-Men climbed into the large jet. Xavier had paid a great deal of money for this jet and even more to fix it the way he wanted it. After all that money, he agreed that it was well worth it.

The ground began to shake on the basketball court as if a great earthquake was waking up the night in New York. The basketball started to roll towards the center of the court as it opened up. The children, being awakened from their sleep, ran towards the window to see what was making such a loud noise. To their amazement, the jet rose from the ground shaking everything in it’s wake. One minute it was there and then the next it shot into the sky and out of each one of their sights. Later, some would even question whether they saw anything at all.

Marie was sitting next to Logan in the Jet. No words were spoken by anyone as they flew at a rate of speed that should have been impossible. No radar to date could pick up the Jet’s speed. It was one reason why it had cost Xavier an arm and a leg.

“Hey,” Logan whispered.

Marie turned her attention from the window towards Logan. He was staring at her with an intense look. “You still got me up there in your head?”

“Yeah,” Marie said with a small smile. Logan shook his head in understanding. “Good! Whatever that voice tells you to do, you do it okay?” Marie agreed.

In what would take any other object an hour to get to the compound, it only took the Jet fifteen minutes to reach it’s destination. They had made it and now it was time to get to work. Scott set the Jet down in a clearing of the woods surrounding the compound. Another thing that had cost Xavier was that the Jet made no sound, not even when it made contact with the ground.

As soon as the Jet touched down, everyone climbed out of their seats and exited the massive craft. The night air was cool on Marie’s flushed face. She wished that she could enjoy the feeling even if just for a moment but there was no time.

“Okay, we will break up in two teams. Jean, Logan, Kitty, Jubilee, Storm and Remy you will go around to the back entrance of the compound and come in that way. Me, Hank, Piotr, John, Bobby and Rogue will come in the front entrance.” Scott said.

Marie did not miss the look that passed between Logan and Scott. She also didn’t miss the angered look from Logan. It dawned on her that Logan didn’t like the fact that Scott had separated her from Logan. The teams were evenly divided and Logan knew it, didn’t mean he had to like it though.

“Remember to get in and get out. We don’t have very long. Once we get in there and they become aware of our intentions they will call back up and we don’t know how many will come to help so we have to get our mutants and get out. We have forty-five minutes to do this but if we can do it faster that’s even better. Protect yourselves and your comrades and lets all go home tonight!”

Everyone agreed with Scott. They all wanted to go home after this without any harm being done to any of them. Marie turned towards Logan to tell him good luck but noticed he was still eying Scott as if he wanted to gut him.

“Hey,” Logan called to Scott.

The younger man turned his attention towards Logan, waiting to hear what he had to say. “You bring her back the same way you took her in got that?”

Scott looked over at Jean for a split second, “The same applies to her as well. Bring her back to me.”

The two men stared at each other without another word. They were communicating with each other without having to say a word. Logan nodded at the younger man and turned back towards Marie.

“Remember what I said darlin’. You listen to me in that head of yours and don’t get any ideas about being a hero. You get in there and you get out you hear? I’ll meet you back here real soon.”

“Yea well you do the same Logan. Remember, hard to kill but not impossible.”

Marie hated this. For just a brief moment it felt like a goodbye. She would not even dare think of losing Logan. It was too much for her and she would not be able to make it through this mission. Logan bent down and kissed her on the head, her hair being a barrier between their skin. She closed her eyes and threw her arms around him. It only lasted a second before Logan turned and walked away with his group. Marie stood there and watched him go until she herself had to move with her group.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

There was no way of knowing what had caused the situation to go to hell fast. It was going the way they wanted it to go at the beginning. Each group had made it in the compound easy enough. They had taken care of the guards that were standing in their way of the other mutants without much of a problem. Both groups had made it to their stairs and proceeded to walk down them. Again, they were not met with much force and took care of the guards easily.

Marie walked to each holding cell and released the mutants. Too many times though, and something she would never forget, she had ran across a cell where the inhabitant was looking through unseeing eyes. Marie had to walk away from those cells because there was no way of saving the ones that had already succumb to death. It made her hate whoever was in charge more and more with every body she had to pass by.

All in all they had fifteen mutants out of their twenty-five they had gone in to save. Marie was cradling a small child, no more than five or six, in her arms. She knew that if she didn’t get this child to medical attention then he too would join the others already dead. Coming back up the stairs they ran towards the exit. They were almost there and almost back out into the cool nights air, but before they could reach their exit some twenty guards on each side of them ran through the hall. They pushed their way back down the stairs, standing in the safety of the walls around them.

Gun fire was coming from both sides of them and it dawned on Marie that they were trapped. Looking around at her comrades, she noticed that they were starting to figure out the same thing she just did about their situation. The mutants that they had come to rescue were crying and scared. Some of them were too weak to do anything but sit on the steps and wait for their fate. Marie looked down at the boy she was cradling and saw him open his eyes just a little to look at her. He was too weak to speak and so he closed his eyes back. She also looked down at the two mutants holding her leg for dear life. They looked scared beyond what any child their age should have to endure and it angered her to no end.

Each one of the X-Men was wearing a Com device that consisted of a mic and an ear piece. It started to crackle and then Logan’s growling voice could be heard through each one. “Scott, we got surrounded. I don’t know where the fuck these assholes came from but they got us pinned.”

“Yeah, us too Logan, we are in the stairway looking at the Exit” Scott shot back.

“Is everyone okay?” It was Jean this time.

“Yeah, for now anyway,” Scott replied.

This was bad….this was really really bad. Marie felt herself losing hope in the thought that Logan and the other’s were trapped as well. She had no idea where and when this mission went so wrong. She just knew it had gone to hell really fast.

“Bobby, can you give us some cover?” Scott asked desperately.

Bobby nodded his head and without a word he transformed himself into the Iceman. He was Completely covered from head to toe in ice and it created a barrier against anything, including bullets. Standing to his full height, which was as tall as Piotr, Bobby went into the hallway and into the line of fire. The guards were not expecting to see him and weren’t ready to shoot. It gave Bobby all the time he needed to raise his hands and send a wall of thick ice towards the guards. They looked in front of them, stunned, as a wall of ice built it’s way in front of them. Before their little minds could understand what was happening, a wall of thick ice, about five inches thick, had blocked their view of the mutants.

“GO NOW!” Scott screamed.

Everyone started running towards the exit. Maybe they were not out of Miracles just yet. Marie ran as hard as she could, which was very difficult holding a boy and two other’s clinging to her. There was nothing to be done though for the other X-Men had the same problem. Each one of them was carrying a mutant of their own. She was in the very back but not too far behind the others.

As if the cool night air breathed new life into the little boy she was holding, he jumped, his arms moving around uncontrollably. Marie felt a shooting pain as his arm hit the side of her head causing her Com Device to fall out of her ear. Marie abruptly stopped and turned to retrieve it. She had to get this little boy under control fast. What scared her the most is she wasn’t sure if the boy was having a seizure, which he very well may be having.

Looking at her comrades, she noticed they had not seen her stop. They were continuing their run towards the Jet! Turning around, she went to grab her Com Device and found that she could not see through the thick grass. The Device was small and would be next to impossible to see without some sort of light. For a moment she cursed the fact that she did not have Logan’s eye sight anymore. The Com Device was lost and Marie knew it. She went to turn around and head back in the direction of the Jet when she took one last look at the compound and what she saw froze her blood.

There, against the compound wall, as if he were trying to melt into it was a boy no bigger than the one she was carrying. How in the hell had they missed him. Turning around, she frantically searched for where her comrades were. They were well ahead of her now and with the sound of the compounds sirens they would never hear her calling for them. She had to make a decision quickly. The Logan in her head was screaming for her to run to the Jet. He was screaming that the boy was a lost cause and that she had a responsibility to the others to get them to safety. Marie let out a frustrated cry as she battled with what she knew she had to do and what the Logan in her head was telling her to do. When this was all said and done, she knew the real Logan was going to kill her but she had to do it.

Leaning down on her knees, she handed the small boy she was carrying to the oldest mutant in her group. “You take them and you run towards the others there. You do not stop until you are to safety do you understand me?” she asked sternly. The girl shook her head yes as tears ran down her dirty face. “Then go,” she said and the girl ran towards the Jet with the others.

Without hesitation, Marie ran full speed towards the compound. Coming towards the fence, Marie ran straight through the hole that Scott had made to get them in. Luckily she had remembered where that whole was, otherwise this would have been for nothing.

All the while she was running, the Logan in her head was screaming at her to turn around. Marie wished she could turn him off for a second so she could get this done. All she needed to do was grab the boy and then she would run until her legs wouldn’t run anymore. None of the guards had made it outside, which meant they were still trying to break through the ice wall. Marie felt she could do this and get this young mutant to safety without any harm done.

After what seemed like eternity, Marie made it to the young boy who was cowering on the ground. She slowly bent down towards him and reached out to grab him. His scream pierced the night air and made Marie jump back in surprise. “Hey, hey…I’m not going to hurt you. What’s your name?” she asked breathless.

The boy hesitated before answering. “I’m Seth,” he whispered.

Marie gave him a small smile as she looked around to make sure no one was approaching. “Seth, my name is Rogue. I’m hear to get you out of this place…We’re the good guys,” she said softly.

At that moment, Marie felt her world turn upside down. Feet, hitting pavement could be heard within the door of the compound. The guards had broken through the ice wall and were now in hearing distance of Marie and the small boy. Without another word Marie grabbed Seth and turned to run. To her horror, she heard the door bang open and shouting behind her. The guards had made it outside and she wasn’t even beyond the Compound fence yet.

Coming towards the large whole, Marie began to pray. Seth was clinging to her for dear life, screaming in her ear that they were coming towards them. Marie did not dare try to look back for fear of tripping and falling. Looking to her left, Marie let out a loud cry as she saw Logan and the others making their way towards the Jet. They had found a way out and Marie couldn’t stop the huge sigh of relief she felt in knowing that. “LOGAN!” she screamed to get his attention. With the sound of the Compounds sirens and the distance between them, there was no way that even Logan could hear Marie.

Her next scream was one of pain as she felt something sharp hit her calf muscle. Before she could stop her momentum, Marie and Seth fell to the cold earth. Marie cried out as she reached back to touch her leg. Bringing her hand towards her face, Marie’s eyes turned wide as she saw they had turned crimson. Blood…her blood, it was pooling out of her left leg.

Her surroundings began to shift out of focus. Looking down, she noticed something sticking out of her leg. Reaching down, she grabbed the feather-like stick and looked at it. To her hazy mind, Marie realized that the guards had shot her with a tranquilizer. She was aware that Seth was trying to pull her off the ground.

Marie tried to sit up and found that she couldn’t do it. Her body felt as though it weighed a ton. Her eyes felt to heavy to keep open and she tried to close them. For just a moment she forgot that Seth was with her, all she wanted to do was rest for a few minutes.

“Please, wake up,” Seth cried.

Marie came back to herself and realized what was happening. She had to get Seth to safety. Finding the strength to get on her knees, Marie pulled her heavy body up from the ground. Her left leg was dragging behind her, she didn’t have the strength to make it work. The Logan in her head screamed at her not to stop, to keep going. Seth pulled on her hand as if he had enough strength to pull her all the way to the Jet.

They took just a few steps and again Marie screamed out in pain as another tranquilizer dart hit her in the back. She hit the ground hard this time, almost knocking her out without the help of the tranq. She had only a second to whisper one word to Seth, “Run.” He hesitated and then took off towards the Jet.

The darkness enveloped Marie overpowering her and she knew no more of what was going on around her.

 

 

 

She's Gone by loganlovesmarie

The run back the Jet was the longest that Logan could remember. They had finally escaped with their ten mutants. He was happy to be out of that place. The smell alone was enough to almost lose himself. He was carrying a young girl probably about seven. She was in bad shape but he could still hear her heart beating. Jean would be able to help her, at least he hoped she would.

The Jet was only a few yards away from them now and he was ready to get the hell out of this place. Being in that Compound brought back the few memories that he had of his time in the lab. To their right, just ahead of them, Logan saw three mutants running as fast as their little feet would take them. He thought it odd that they were on their own and wondered for a moment if they had left some behind.

Finally reaching the Jet, Logan climbed in and carried his young charge to the back of the Jet where a makeshift triage had been set up for all the ones hurt. Sadly there were a lot of the mutants back in this area getting checked over by Hank. Jean ran to join him in assessing the damages that the small mutants had received.

Lying the small girl down on a makeshift bed, Logan turned to go back towards the front of the Jet. It was time to leave and get back to the mansion as quick as possible. “Let’s get the hell outta here now!” he yelled towards Scott and Storm. They were pushing buttons bringing the Jet to life.

Logan went towards his seat and sat down heavily. It had been a close one and they weren’t out of the woods yet. Turning towards Marie’s seat, he started to say something but noticed she wasn’t there. Logan raised his head and looked around at the other seats, wondering if she had gone to check on Jubilee and Kitty. The two girls were sitting quietly in their seats, but there was no sign of Marie anywhere.

A feeling of dread started to work it’s way into Logan’s chest as he climbed out of his seat and went towards the back of the Jet. He thought that maybe she was trying to help in the back, Lord knows there was plenty to do back here. Stepping back in the triage, Logan turned in every direction searching for Marie. She was no where to be found.

Logan turned on his heels and marched back up to the front, pushing everyone out of his way. His heart was pounding so loudly that he almost missed the angry comments from the X-Men as he none to gently pushed them to the side. Stopping, Logan turned in circles, checking every direction and every place that Marie could be. There was no sign of her.

Logan stood stock still as he tried to understand what was happening. Where could she be and why couldn’t he find her. He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard the Jet’s engines coming to life. They were about to leave and to Logan’s horror he realized that Marie was not on the Jet.

“SCOTT!” Logan shouted.

Scott turned in his seat, surprised that the volume Logan used to call his name. When his eyes met Logan’s he saw fear like he had never seen in the man’s eyes. This was suppose to be the Wolverine, nothing was suppose to scare him.

For a moment Logan could not speak. He was afraid to ask the one question he knew he had to. He was afraid of the answer that the younger man would give him, yet he knew he was wasting more time than they had.

“Where’s Rogue?” It came out as just a whisper but Scott was able to read Logan’s lips. He sat confused for a moment. Where’s Rogue? She should be in her seat of course. Looking at the girl’s seat, Scott’s face turned stark white. The seat was empty. “Storm, wait,” Scott said in an unsteady voice. It only took two seconds for Logan to see the look in Scott’s eyes to make himself take action.

“ROGUE!” Logan screamed, turning to search the Jet for the girl. If she was in here he was going to kill her himself. Logan could not deny that at this moment he was as scared as he could remember. Logan’s enraged voice caught the attention of the other X-Men as the looked up confused. “Has anyone seen Rogue,” Logan asked. Everyone shook their heads no.

“She went back for the little boy.”

Logan whipped his head around to the small voice that had answered him. It belonged to one of the mutants they had just saved and she looked up at Logan with a scared look in her eyes. Without thinking, Logan stormed over to the little girl and grabbed her by her already torn shirt. Raising her off of the seat, he brought her to within just a few inches of his face. “What did you say,” he said dangerously low. Logan was not in charge anymore…the Wolverine had taken over and right now he didn’t care how scared the young girl was.

“Logan, put her down now!” Jean yelled.

Before Logan could respond, there was a small pounding on the door of the Jet. Everyone looked towards the sound but no one moved. It could be the guards trying to get in. After a few seconds, Logan dropped the girl roughly in her seat as he went to open the door. He heard footsteps behind him and saw that Scott and Remy were behind him, ready to attack if they had to.

Opening the door, Logan was shocked to see a small boy. He was crying and pointing back towards the Compound. The words that he was saying could not be understood for he was crying too hard. Stepping out of the Jet, Logan bent to one knee and grabbed the boy by the shoulders. He had to calm him down to understand anything he was say.

“Help….help,” came the boy’s cry.

“We’re here to help ya son, get in the Jet and they’ll help ya in there,” Logan said.

“N…no, not m..me. He…help her,” the boy said pointing towards the Compound.

Logan felt as if the night sky was crashing upon his head. He didn’t have to look at where the boy was pointing because in his heart he already knew who “she” was. As if it was in slow motion, Logan turned towards the Compound. He could make out just a little, but it was enough for him to understand what was happening. He heard several gasps behind him and realize that the X-Men had climbed out to see what was happening, and now everyone’s eyes were seeing what he was seeing.

Several of the guards were running towards something that look like a sack laying on the ground. Logan knew that that was no sack though. That was his Marie laying on that ground and that thought sent his feet into action. Before he knew it, he was running back towards the Compound.

Half way there, he became aware that there were footsteps behind him but he didn’t dare look back to see who was coming with him. They would have to fend for themselves, his only priority was to get to Marie and get her to safety. How had this happened. His mind started to wonder about what would happen if he couldn’t’ get to her in time. Logan had to stop his thoughts from going any further. He would not be able to live with himself if he lost Marie.

Getting to the front of the Compound, a few of the guards were waiting there for them. Before they had time to shoot, a red laser shot past Logan’s head taking one of the guards out. The other two guards were met with fire and ice. None of the guards had a chance.

Making his way into the building, Logan headed towards the stairs leading to the roof of the Compound. There were no guards to be found so it made getting to the roof easy and fast. Logan should have known it wouldn’t be that easy though. As he reached the roof, Logan and the others were met by some twenty guards, all in position with the guns ready to fire. Logan did not hesitate. He knew that their bullets could not kill him. It would hurt like a bitch but he didn’t care.

Logan watched as the guard carrying an unconscious Marie made it to a helicopter waiting for them. The raging Wolverine took over and with a blood curdling scream, Logan ran towards the helicopter. Again he saw the red laser from Scott’s visor and fire and ice from John and Bobby. Later, he would realize that even a blazing card was thrown past him towards the guards.

Running with every ounce of energy he had, he felt the bullets hitting him. He ran through the unimaginable pain as bullet after bullet made contact with some part of his body. As soon as those bullets would hit his adamantium encased skeleton they would drop towards the asphalt roof. Logan’s healing ability had no trouble keeping up with the amount of damage being done to him. He ran through it all…he ran for her.

Coming closer to the guards, that were standing in his way to get to Marie, he let his adamantium claws do the work. He cut through each one of them in reaching distance. Logan was almost there, and for a moment he gave himself hope that he would be able to reach her in time.

That hope all but dashed as he saw the helicopter slowly start to lift into the air. Logan made his body push even harder to get to Marie. He could feel the wholes, where the bullets made contact, close up on their own. Just a couple more feet and he would be close enough to the helicopter to grab a hold. To his horror he realized that he was running out of room on the roof. The edge was coming up too fast and he would have to make a jump for it.

At the last possible moment, Logan lunged towards the bottom step of the helicopter. He barely got a hold of the step but with everything he had he hung on to it. Logan was dangling from the helicopter by one hand and he desperately grabbed for it with the other. His free hand made contact with the step and he held on tightly. Now, he had to swing his legs up to climb into the helicopter.

Just as he was swinging his legs, one of the guards came and stood over him. Looking up with horror filled eyes, Logan watched the guard raise his gun towards his head.

“Marie,” Logan whispered as the guard pulled the trigger. The sound of the gun was deafening to Logan’s ears, but the pain was the worst part. The bullet made contact with Logan’s forehead and before he could stop it, he lost his hold on the bottom step. Darkness enveloped Logan as he crashed towards the ground.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Logan was aware of two things at once. One, he was not moving in the air anymore, and two, someone was calling his name. He jumped to his feet in an instant and ran towards the direction that the helicopter had went. It was no longer visible yet he could not make himself stop chasing after it. There were two words running through his mind as he ran…She’s gone. Those words played as if they were a broken record, over and over and over.

He ran until finally he had to stop for a breath. Falling to his knees, Logan felt a sense of loss of which he had never had to endure. Not even his lost years made him feel this kind of pain. He had failed her and now she was at the hands of mad men. It was all his fault. After a few moments, he got to his feet and ran back towards the Jet. He would use the Jet to find them.

The X-Men were standing outside the Jet when he arrived. They all had the same disbelieving look on their faces and he wanted to wipe that look off of each and every one of them. This was a nightmare, it had to be.

“We gotta follow them.” he said as he made to climb in.

“Logan, we don’t know where they went. They are way ahead of us. Let’s get back to the Professor and he can use Cerebro to find her. We can regroup and start our search for Rogue.”

Logan froze at the sound of the person’s voice. Hatred, hot red boiling hatred shot through him and before he could stop it his claws shot out. He slowly turned his ice cold stare to look at Scott. “You were suppose to look out for her. You were suppose to bring her back to me,” he said in a deadly voice.

“Logan, I had no idea that she would go back. If I could have stopped this from happening I would have.” Scott pleaded.

“This is all your fault you son of a bitch,” Logan said as he went towards Scott.

The younger man took a couple of steps backwards as he watched an enraged Logan coming after him. On instinct, his hand went towards his visor. “Go ahead and shoot me! It won’t stop me from gutting you!” Logan yelled.

Before he could get to Scott, Logan’s movements stopped abruptly. He could not move a muscle as he looked around furiously. Jean stood to his left, her arms raised keeping him in place. “Logan, you have to calm down. Let’s get back to Xavier’s and figure out how to get Rogue back. Killing Scott isn’t going to help the situation.”

“Jean, fucking let me go now!” Logan growled.

“Not unless you calm down Logan,” Jean said sternly.

Logan screamed out in rage. He fought against the hold Jean had on him but he could not break free. Tears of rage, pain, sadness and loss poured down his face. She was gone, he kept telling himself. He was as much to blame as Scott was and he hated himself far more than he did the other man. This is what he feared when she joined the X-Men. This very thing is why he fought so hard to keep her off the team and to his horror his worse nightmare had come true.

“Jeannie, knock me out please,” Logan begged.

“What?” Jean asked horrified.

“I can’t control myself Jean. Get me to Xavier,” Logan whispered.

Jean’s shocked face turned to pity and she nodded her head in understanding. Closing her eyes, Jean used her gift to push Logan into unconsciousness.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Marie slowly started to come out of her hazy state. She was confused as to what had happened yet she knew somehow that it wasn’t good. Coming back to reality, Marie did not dare move a muscle. She first had to figure out where she was and what was going on. The last thing she remembered was that she was trying to get Seth to safety and she felt a sharp pain in her leg and then again in her back. After that, she didn’t know what had happened.

As soon as her senses woke up, Marie first concentrated on the smells around her. Wherever she was reminded her of the med lab back at Xavier’s. The smell of disinfectant and decay assaulted her nose and it took everything she had not to throw up. Marie could feel something cold and hard underneath her. There were people talking around her yet what they were saying didn’t make much sense to her.

“Dr. Langford, the Colonel is here to see the patient, are you ready?”

“She is not yet conscious, but yes send him in.”

Marie started to have a really bad feeling about this. The sound of a heart monitor began to pick up rhythm and volume. Marie’s heart was beating too fast and pretty soon they would realize that she was awake. She had to calm herself.

“Are you awake little butterfly?”

Marie couldn’t help the surprise yelp as the low voice spoke in her ear. Her cover was blown and there was no sense in acting like she was sleeping. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked around her. To her horror she was in a room that looked an awful like the med lab. No, this didn’t look like a med lab at all, it looked more like a torture room.

Marie was strapped to the cold, hard bed by leather straps that were tearing into her flesh. There were instruments to her left that she had never seen before. She could not begin to think about what they were used for. There were three people in the room with her, all wearing white coats. She assumed that they were some kind of medical staff. They were paying her no attention because they were staring at the closed door.

The door slowly opened and Marie turned her attention towards the person walking in. He stood and watched her with an amused expression on his face. He was an older man with short brown hair cut into a buzz cut. He had a round pudgy face with wrinkles on his forehead and under his eyes. His goatee was cut nice and clean. Sitting on his nose were a pair of round rim glasses. All in all he looked just like any other sweet grandfather. Marie knew better.

“Well well, what do we have here?” he asked. Marie noticed that he had somewhat of a southern accent like her own.

“Seems you and your buddies interrupted my work.” His voice took on a more venomous tone with each passing word. The smile that he wore when he walked in slowly turned to one of rage.

To Marie’s surprise she realized that this man was somewhat familiar to her. She felt as though they had met before yet she could not recall where. It was at the back of her mind but she just could not place him. “H…have we met?” Marie asked slowly.

The man began to laugh. She didn’t know what was so funny about the question and still he continued laughing. “Oh believe me mutant, if you would have met me before you would remember me.”

Marie started to shake, she couldn’t help it. She had a feeling that this man was insane. He looked at her with eyes of hatred. Yes, she suspected she would remember him if they had met before but still the feeling of familiarity was there.

“Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Colonel William Stryker. By the time I’m through with you, you will be calling me God!”

That name sent every fiber of Marie’s body into chilling shakes. Yes, she knew that name and yes she knew this man. He haunted her in her nightmares every single night. It wasn’t her nightmares or her memories though, they were Logan’s. This was the man responsible for Logan’s memory loss and his adamantium.

Anger overtook Marie at all the memories of Logan suffering and she started fighting against the restraints holding her down. She wanted to tear this man limb from limb.

“You son of a bitch,” she growled.

This outburst seemed to amuse Stryker even more. His smile grew on his face as he watched Marie struggle. “Well, it seems as though you know…”

His sentence was caught in his throat as he stared at Marie. She watched his eyes turn wide and his smile drop. His mouth was hanging open as if he were frozen in place. Marie was confused as she watched him staring at her face.

Moving her head over to look at the other people in the room, Marie opened her mouth to ask what was wrong with him when she heard something that sounded like metal hitting metal. The sound was right at her ear and it was ear shattering for many reasons.

Everything became clear to Marie in an instant and all the blood drained from her face. Turning slowly back towards Stryker, his eyes went to her neck and she wanted to die right there.

“Wolverine,” he whispered.

“Oh no,” Marie whispered.

William Stryker was staring at the dog tags that he himself had made for one Wolverine. Those dog tags were now around Marie’s neck where they had been for years. Logan had given them to her before one of his trips to find his past and he had never asked for them back. One night, a few years back, she tried to give them back but he told her they were where they were suppose to be. She had never taken them off since that night. Now, the dog tags were laying out in clear sight for all of them to see. Everyone…including William Stryker.

 

A New Kind of Hell by loganlovesmarie

“Wolverine.”

Stryker’s voice was just above a whisper yet to Marie’s ears it sounded as though he were screaming. His eyes never left her throat as he reached a shaky hand out towards the dog tags. Marie watched, as if in slow motion, his long fingers inching closer and closer.

On instinct, Marie flinched away from him. This seemed to bring Stryker out of his trance as his eyes shifted from the adamantium tags to Marie’s face. The shock had not worn off yet though his eyes started to refocus a little.

“Where did you get those?” he asked.

Marie did not say a word. She would never tell this maniac, the person who haunted Logan in his dreams, where he was. She would die first and that looked to be a big possibility.

“I asked you where you got those tags.” Stryker was going from disbelief to angry really fast. Still, Marie did not budge in her silence.

A slow smile started creeping on his face. Marie could not help the shiver that assaulted her body as she watched this man smile evilly at her. “You know mutant, there are worse things than death. I promise you that you will not know what those things are if you will just cooperate. If you will tell me what I want to know then you will be spared the unnecessary suffering. If you remain silent then I’m afraid that you will suffer a great deal.”

She watched him look at the other man in the room, Dr. Langford. They were communicating without so much as a word and Marie desperately wished she knew what they were thinking. Maybe she could lie about why she had the dog tags. Maybe Stryker would buy it. A part of her knew that was a long shot but she had to try.

“I found them…up in Canada a few years ago. I..I didn’t know who they belonged to and no one was there to claim them so I just kept them. I’ve been wearing them every since.”

If her hands would have been free, Marie would have hit herself in the forehead. Lies and intimidation were dripping off of every word she had just spoken and it didn’t take a genius to see right through them.

Before she could comprehend what was happening, Stryker lifted his hand and came down hard against her left cheek. The strength of his hit caused Marie to see stars. After the stars came colors…reds, blues, yellows and blacks. For a moment Marie wondered if Stryker had hit her hard enough to cause her to go blind. Red hot heat spread throughout her cheek as she shook her head to refocus her sight. Never in all her life had she been hit that hard, not even in combat.

“Do you take me for a fool Mutant?” Marie flinched as the sound of Stryker’s voice was right beside her ear. She could feel his hot breath on her skin. The smell of stale coffee and cigarettes assaulted her senses as she fought against passing out.

“I know the mutant who owns these tags. I know his history and his story and someone who’s been through the things he has would not disregard the one thing left over from his past. So I ask you again, where…did…you…get…these…tags?”

The pain from her cheek was growing by the second and Marie did everything possible to hold on to consciousness, though she thought she would be better off in oblivion at this point. She found herself in the worse kind of hell with no way of escape. She was caught like a mouse in a mousetrap.

“Looks like the mutant needs a little help remembering where she got the tags, don’t you think Dr. Langford?”

Marie did not like the sound of that and feared what it meant. She turned her attention to the doctor and watched as a wicked grin grew on his face. He and Stryker again communicated with each other without so much as a word and that scared her more than anything.

“Shall I get the hot iron or the whip Colonel Stryker?”

Marie was sickened by the fact that this doctor was getting some sick satisfaction out of all of this. So was Stryker but she expected that. In fact everyone in the room seemed to ooze with excitement with what was about to happen. These people were crazy…all of them.

“Let’s start out small doctor. I don’t want to cause too much damage until I get the information that I seek. Get the whip ready.”

With Stryker’s word, the doctor and the guards went to retrieve whatever device they used as a whip as Marie lay there helpless. She could not help the fact that her heart started to speed up to the point of heart attack pace. She would never give Stryker what he needed yet she was scared to death of the pain they were about to inflict on her. Could she be strong enough to withstand it? She wasn’t so sure.

“Last chance little one. I can save you from all of this if you will just tell me where I can find the owner of those dog tags. It’s pretty simple you know. You give me the location to Wolverine and I will spare you the pain that is to come.”

His words were spoken as softly as if he were talking to a small child. Marie actually thought she heard caring in his voice but she knew better.

“No,” Marie whispered.

She watched as Stryker’s face went from soft and smooth to red and angered in a matter of moments. “You bring this upon yourself then.”

As if on cue, the door to the med lab opened and the doctor made his way over to Stryker. In his hands was something long and black. Marie realized it was the whip and she took a breath to steady herself. The whip was your average whip, but that only made to scare Marie. She had never been hit by one before but she could only imagine the pain.

“Release her from the table and bring her to me.” Two guards walked to Marie and released her from her binds. They both wore gloves and were careful of her skin. She looked for every possible chance to make an escape. This was her chance if she was to do it, yet there was no way out of the room. Even if she got away from the guards there were two more standing beside the door guarding it. She was trapped.

She tried to struggle but it was all in vain. Both men together was more than strong enough to subdue her. Coming closer to Stryker, she noticed the two loops in the wall behind him. They were going to hook the straps around her wrists to those loops to hold her still. Seeing that made her fight all the more harder but again it was in vain.

“Try to fight all you like mutant. You are not going anywhere,” Stryker said hatefully.

This was not happening. Marie was sure that in just a few seconds she would wake up to Jubes or Logan beating on her door to wake her up for breakfast. This was too much. Had her life really taken a turn for the worse?

She watched in slow motion as they raised her arms and hooked them to the loops. As soon as that was done, the guards stepped back and she was now standing there all alone. Marie only had a second to swallow the lump in her throat before her back exploded in the worse pain that she had ever felt or could imagine. The scream that came from her mouth was one that, to her ears, she did not recognize as her own.

With every hit from the whip, Marie felt the skin on her back open. The flesh was cut away like it was butter. Slice after painful slice, Marie’s screams grew louder until she became hoarse and all that was left were small whispers. Blood ran swiftly down her back and onto the cold cement floor.

She was slowly losing consciousness and she welcomed it with open arms. She reached for it, grabbing onto the darkness with all the strength she had left in her.

Before she could find solace in the darkness, she heard a sinister voice whisper in her ear, “You think I’m going to let you off that easy Mutant? Give me the location to the Wolverine and all of this will go away. The pain will stop for good I promise and you will have peace.”

It sounded so good. If only for a moment the pain would stop, she could breath again. Even though the whipping had stopped, her skin was on fire and the pain radiated from her torn back. She did not even want to think about how much blood she was losing. There was only one problem. She would never give up Logan and therefore the pain would not stop anytime soon.

“Never,” she managed to whisper through the hoarse sobs.

Marie did not have to see Stryker’s face to tell that it was fire red and he was about to explode. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that what came next would hurt more than this whipping.

“Bring me the fucking vinegar! I swear to you bitch, you will tell me what I want to know otherwise you will be begging for death by the time I get through with you. Is that what you want Mutant? You want to be begging for your death?”

Death would be good right about now. Anything would be good other than this shit hole that she found herself in. Marie managed to turn her head slightly to the side and a part of her wished that she didn’t. She was able to watch, as if in slow motion, the doctor hand Stryker a bowl with a liquid substance in it. There was only one thing it could be and Marie stilled herself for the onslaught of pain.

The next few moments happened fast and furious. Marie felt the contents of the bowl being thrown onto her back and for a moment nothing happened as if something had been severed from the nerves in her back to her brain.

For a second, Marie actually thought that she was okay, that nothing would happened. That all changed in an instant and this time the pain really was too much.

Before she passed out, Marie let one word slip out. She really couldn’t hold it in. It was the only sane word that she could think of in that moment and she said it with all the strength that she had. It gave her some peace in the darkness of the pain.

“Logan!”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The Blackbird landed with a loud thud in the basement of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. The passengers of the expensive aircraft slowly made their way out of the doors. Xavier stood and watched helplessly as the beaten and battered mutants made their way passed him. The victims of the labs were escorted to the med lab so they could get swift care of their injuries.

As soon as they were all out, the X-men slowly emerged. Some of them were crying while others looked lost and disheveled. Xavier wished he could take their pain away but for the first time in a long time the powerful telepath was completely and utterly helpless. All he could do was sit and watch as each one of them tried to cope with the loss of their own .

Jean and Scott emerged with an unconscious Logan on a gurney. “Professor, we are going to need your help,” Jean said as she guided the bed with her telepathic abilities towards the med lab. Professor Xavier only shook his head in understanding.

They made their way towards the med lab and Xavier had to still his mind as he looked around to all the wounded mutants. Some of them looked so bad that he wondered how they were still alive. It was going to be a long road for all of them, both mentally and physically. As he passed he watched Doctor McCoy, Kitty and Jubilation Lee trying to stabilize the most critical patients. They would need Jean in there soon enough.

They came to an empty room and Jean went to work on hooking Logan up to monitors. “What happened to him?” the professor asked quietly.

“He’s fine. I have him under sedation right now. It was the only way that we could assure that we could get home safely. Logan lost control when Rogue was taken. He tried to attack Scott. I think the Wolverine is in control right now.”

“I understand. Jean, why don’t you go and see if you can help Hank. I will deal with Logan.”

With that, Jean turned and walked towards the other room. Scott stood, staring down at Logan, his face void of any emotion. Xavier noticed, in that moment, that Scott looked a lot older than his years. This was the first time since he became leader of the X-men that he had lost a comrade. He could tell that it was taking it’s toll on the man already.

“Scott, it wasn’t your fault son,” Xavier said softly.

“Wasn’t it? She was on my team Professor. I was suppose to make sure everyone got out okay…I promised him.” The last statement was said in a whisper. “He has every right to hate me.”

Where there was no sign of emotion on Scott’s face, now it was replaced with sadness. Xavier sighed heavily as he took in the two men in the room with him. “We will find a way to get her back Scott.”

He did not reply to this. Xavier wondered if it was because he didn’t really believe that. “Scott, why don’t you go get cleaned up and then see if there’s anything the new guests need. We have a lot to do son. There are a good many children who need much care and we must do everything to see they are taken care of.”

Scott turned to leave and hesitated, turning back to look at Logan. “What about him,” he asked.

“Don’t worry about Logan. I will see to it that he comes back to us.”

The young man stood there for a few more seconds, looking at Logan. He saw many emotions running through the man’s face, but the one that became the most overwhelming was guilt. Scott was drowning in it.

Finally he turned and made his way out of the room, leaving Xavier and Logan alone. Taking a deep breath, Xavier wheeled his way to the head of Logan’s bed. The monitors showed that all was well with Logan physically but Xavier knew that mentally it was a different story. For all he knew, the man was lost in his own mind and would not be able to return. He had seen many times what it did to a person to lose someone that was basically everything to them. Some people never really recovered from that. He knew that that was a good possibility, even for someone as strong as Logan.

Closing his eyes, Xavier concentrated on the mind that was Logan’s. He found himself standing in darkness. There was no noise, no sign of life. When Xavier enters the mind of someone, it’s the only time that he can use his legs. Looking down, he watched as his legs took their first steps. That was always the hardest, the first step.

He looked around for anything, any light or movement but there was none to be found. Xavier realized he would have to go deeper into Logan’s mind and that made this all the more dangerous. The deeper you go, the darker it got.

There wasn’t much of a choice if he wanted to save Logan. Slowly, he proceeded to search for the man and the beast.

As he walked, the air became thicker, almost as if he were surrounded by smoke. The darkness took on more color. Looking around, Xavier realized he was being surrounded by a red mist. He had made it. This was the place that both Logan and the Wolverine hid in solace. This was the place most dangerous.

“Logan,” he called out gently. There was no answer. “Logan,” he tried again.

Still there was not an answer and Xavier began to worry. Was he already too late? Had Logan snapped? Then it dawned on him that maybe Logan wasn’t in this place. He tried a new tactic.

“Wolverine.”

There was an audible hiss. Xavier stilled his movements as the hiss became louder. “I’m not here to hurt you Wolverine. I just want to talk.” There was no answer. The hissing slowly became a growl. Xavier knew that he had to tread lightly. “Where is Logan? Will you allow him to speak to me?”

“No,” the sound was more of a growl than it was an audible word but Xavier heard him loud and clear.

“Why Wolverine? Is Logan still with us?”

“Weakling. He…is…weak,” came the hiss.

“He is hurting Wolverine. And I imagine that you are as well,” Xavier said cautiously.

“I do not hurt. I want revenge. I want to kill those fuckers that took her. I want BLOOD!” he screamed.

“You can not have it like this Wolverine. You must let go for a time and let Logan take control. We will find her and bring her back to you but you must trust me now. I need Logan here with me for this.”

“He can not cope. He is weak…weak,” Wolverine hissed.

“He is stronger than you think Wolverine. For Rogue he will be the strongest person that you and I know if you will give him a chance. Release him…please.”

There was silence for a while. Xavier wondered if the Wolverine had disappeared further into his mind. He was about to speak again when slowly, the red mist began to turn into white clouds. “For her.” Xavier heard the far off hiss of Wolverine. It sounded as if he were going through a tunnel, his voice becoming distant.

The white clouds became bright as Xavier felt another presence surround him. “Logan,” he said softly.

“Hey Chuck,” came the soft voice of Logan.

Looking through the clouds, Xavier saw the silhouette of a man walking towards him. He took a moment to take a deep breath as Logan made his way towards him.

When Logan’s face came into view, Xavier took a moment to study the man. Like Scott, he looked worn and old. It was very rare to see that look on Logan, he was after all a man that did not age. “Logan, I need you to come back with me. There is much work to be done.”

Logan stopped and stared at the man in front of him. “I have to find her,” he pleaded. Xavier could only compare the plea to that of a drowning man reaching for a life boat. “We will do everything in our power to see to it that Rogue is home safely with us. I will use all of the resources that I have and will not stop until she is found.”

Logan slowly fell to his knees and broke down. Xavier watched as the man’s shoulders heaved up and down in wrecked sobs. He had never seen Logan so broken.

Walking to him, he placed his hand upon his head in a gesture of comfort. “Promise me that we will find her Professor. If you tell me that I will believe you.”

Xavier did not know if he could promise such a thing. For all he knew, at this moment, Rogue could be dead. He had been following her movements through Cerebro when all of a sudden she had disappeared from his sight. One minute she was there and the next she was gone. There were only two things that would cause this. One being that she was dead and the other being that wherever she was they had a way of blocking Cerebro. Xavier knew of no one that could block Cerebro, except for one person and, for once, he actually had nothing to do with this.

“I will not stop until she is home with us Logan.” That was about as much as Xavier could promise the man. Even that was questionable. “We have much work to do Logan, please…come back with me.”

Looking up from where he was kneeling, Logan shook his head in agreement.

Opening his eyes, Xavier looked around to find himself back in the med lab. Wheeling himself away from Logan’s head, he came around the side to look at him. Logan had not yet opened his eyes but Xavier knew he wouldn’t be much longer. He could feel him coming to the surface of his mind at that moment.

A few moments later, Logan sat on the side of the bed, staring off into the distance. He was trying to get a hold of his emotions. Anger filled his every pore and he was afraid that at any moment it would snap him in half. He wanted blood. He could taste it and feel himself bathing in it. They had taken her from him. They had taken his Marie away to God knows where doing God knows what to her. It was eating him alive as he sat there and played every scenario that could be taking place with her in his mind, he felt his Adamantium claws slowly protrude from their hiding place.

“Cerebro,” Logan said hoarsely.

“I’ve tried Logan, there is no sign of her anywhere.”

Logan snapped his head up and looked at Xavier. “No sign of her…what does that mean? How the fuck can you not find her with Cerebro? I thought that thing could find any mutant on the planet.” Xavier did not answer.

“What the fuck are you not telling me Chuck?” Logan asked angrily.

Before he could answer the door to the room opened and Scott stepped in. He froze in the doorway as he noticed that Logan was awake. The two men stared at one another as if they were afraid the other would make a wrong, deadly move.

Taking a deep sigh, Xavier spoke, “Now is not the time for this gentlemen. If we are to find Rogue, it’s going to take all of us to do so.”

Logan jumped off of the bed and made is way towards the door that Scott was standing beside. As he passed, Scott said, “Logan, I just wanted…” He was cut off by the growl that came from Logan’s mouth.

“Let’s get one thing straight bub, you don’t talk to me…you don’t look at me and if you want to live, you stay the fuck outta my way!”

Scott’s jaw tightened and his body went rigid. For a moment, Xavier thought that Scott would retaliate but then Scott relaxed and only shook his head. Logan walked passed the man as Xavier called out to stop him. “Logan, where are you going?”

“Where do you think Chuck, I’m going to find her.”

“How will you do that Logan, you don’t even know where to start? Please Logan, give me some time to get information and we will go find her as a team.”

“Can’t do that. She’s out there somewhere and having God knows what being done to her. She doesn’t have time for us to sit around and wait till you find information.”

“Then tell me Logan, how do you suppose you will find her?”

Turning around to face Xavier, Logan stared for a moment as if he were trying to figure out that same thing. He had no leads and no place to start but if he didn’t do something now it would destroy him. The longer they stood around and debated on what to do, the more horrible things could be happening to her. “Professor, I can’t sit around and wait on something to happen. I’ve been in those labs and I know what goes on. The thought…the thought of her experiencing just a little bit of what I did is too much to bare. I’m sorry but I have to do something now.”

“What will you do Logan?” Xavier asked in defeat.

“I’ll do it the old fashion way Chuck…look!” With that, Logan turned and left Xavier’s School for the Gifted Youngsters and he swore he would not return until Marie was with him.

 

 

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End Notes:
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Painful Truths by loganlovesmarie

Marie lay face down on the small cot in the little crap of a cell staring at nothing. Her eyes were fixed on the cold concrete below yet she did not see it. Her mind was too wrapped up in the past days events. Her body was in too much pain from the whipping she received days ago.

Slowly, with as much ease as she could, Marie turned her head towards the wall closest to her cot. There, not five inches from her face were tiny marks. When she first arrived in the cell, Marie had found a small rock and she used that to keep up with the days. In a place such as this, it would be very easy to lose count. In this place, it would be easy to lose just about anything.

Quietly, she counted the tiny marks. “One…two…three.” She kept counting until she reached fourteen. It had been two weeks since she was brought here. It had been two weeks since this nightmare had begun. Two weeks since she was taken from him. Two weeks since she had seen his face and heard his voice.

“Two weeks since I stopped being human,” she whispered.

Stryker had not let up on finding Logan. He had deprived her of sleep for several nights, yet she would not give in. Her back was becoming infected she was sure of it. The pain had went from excruciating to numb. Marie wasn’t sure what would come first, Stryker getting tired of not getting his answers and he would sure enough kill her, or her body would succumb to infection and that would kill her. Either way, death was her only option out of this place.

“Giving up on me that quick huh darlin’?

Marie closed her eyes and breathed deep. The Logan in her head was making an appearance. She had touched the real Logan briefly, not too long ago by accident, during a sparring exercise but it was enough for him to find his way into her mind. Strangely, he had been really quiet during the two weeks she had been here.

“I’m not giving up Logan, just thinking realistically,” she spoke.

Anyone passing by her cell right now would probably think she was going mad and talking to herself. Marie didn’t really care what these people thought of her though.

“You know he will find you. He won’t give up until he does.”

“I know he will. But it might be too late. Stryker won’t keep me around forever.”

She knew that any day Stryker could snap and that would be the end of her.

“Why have you been so quiet. I could use the company you know,” she said lightly.

There was no answer. Usually the Logan and, don’t forget, Wolverine would be screaming and talking non stop. Those two got so bad sometimes that Marie thought she would go mad. The headaches were always the worse after they fought for control of her mind. Professor Xavier had taught her the way to subdue them. He had taught her a way of caging them so to speak. It had worked pretty good most of the time but sometimes they were just too strong to be contained.

During those moments, the moments she had to practically fight to keep control of her own mind, she made sure to stay far away from the real Logan. Marie didn’t do it because she was angry or anything, but because the look in his eyes, as he watched her struggle with his demons, was enough to break her heart. Guilt rolled off of Logan in waves as he tried everything to help her through the rough patches. It wasn’t enough that he had to feel guilty for the nightmares, now he had to watch her struggle to keep control. She wanted to spare him that as much as she could.

“I could make it all go away for you Marie. All you have to do is ask,” the Logan in her head whispered.

Marie had to admit that she did think about it. She could just give up control to Logan and she would not know what was happening to her. She could run from the pain. It would be so easy just to find the nothingness and cling to it for a while. All she had to do was say the word and she would be free for a time.

It sounded so good, but she couldn’t do it. The thought of losing herself and never being able to find her way back scared her. She had never willingly given up control of her mind and she wasn’t sure that if she did so right now that she would have the strength to regain that control back. No matter how much she loved and trusted Logan, she wasn’t sure that he would be able to give the control back. They would try to break her in this place, of that she was sure, but she would not give them the satisfaction of being a coward and running away. Marie would hold on to the truth about where Logan was and she would not divulge that information no matter how painful it became.

Before she could answer the Logan in her head, she heard footsteps approaching. Marie slowly sat up, being very mindful of her back. Two guards stood at her cell door. “Time to go see the Colonel,” one of the guards said.

Marie fought against the wave of nausea that overcame her. She tried not to think about what Stryker had in store for her today. Whatever it was she would get through it just like she got through it all of the other days.

The two guards helped Marie to her feet. She noticed that both were wearing gloves and were covered pretty well from head to toe. The possibility of her being able to touch the skin of one was not good.

“You know, this would end for you if you would just tell the Colonel what he wants to know. You wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.” Marie was surprised to hear compassion in the guard’s voice. It was as if he cared about what was happening to her.

“John, you would do well to keep you mouth shut and do not engage the Mutant.” The other guard was not so friendly. Marie was getting pretty sick and damn tired of being called mutant. She had a name. Not that anyone in here would respect her enough to use it.

They walked her down the long hall towards the lab room where all of her meetings with Stryker had taken place. She was becoming used to the routine. Stryker would allow her time to build up just enough strength to endure more torture sessions. After two weeks, it was becoming enough to drive her insane.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite Mutant. Do come in please!” Stryker said sarcastically.

The guards led Marie to the same wall where she had been whipped. Due to the damage done to her back, she could no longer lay on the table. Instead, she stood with her arms over her head, latched to the two loops. This position made her feel more vulnerable. She took a wild guess that Stryker realized this and took great satisfaction from it.

“How are you feeling today?”

Their talks always started out like this. Marie wanted to laugh at Stryker trying to sound as if he cared. They both knew that that was not the case. She wondered why he even wasted his time. Maybe it was a tactic of his to see if being nice would win him what he wanted. Fat chance of that ever happening.

Marie remained silent, staring daggers at the man in front of her. Such hate in his eyes caused Marie to flinch. It wasn’t much of a movement but Stryker caught it and his smile grew wider. She would never understand what sick mind would get off by another’s fear.

“I guess trying to be nice isn’t working huh? That is a great relief. It sickens me to even act like I care one bit about you. Truth is I would squash you all if I had the chance.” There was the Stryker that Marie had come to know so well over the past couple of weeks.

“Shall we get down to business then?” There was a pause as he stared at Marie. “Where is he.”

It was always a simple statement. The same question was asked of her every time she came into this room and she would give the same answer as she did now. “A place that you will never find.”

The first couple of days that she answered this way it produced a multitude of beatings. Stryker would not hesitate to inflict any kind of pain upon her and yet she was determined to never answer differently. He must have realized this because the beatings abruptly stopped when she gave him that answer, but he would continue to ask.

“Why do you protect him huh? What is he to you?”

‘Everything,’ she answered to herself.

“I would like to think that I know him a little since I spent so much time with him long ago. Did you know that? He and I were like family at one point.”

Marie stared at Stryker in disbelief. It could not be true. This was the same man that took everything away from Logan. “I see you didn’t know. It’s true. He really was like a…son to me,” Stryker said with a laugh.

“Liar,” Marie whispered.

Stryker’s smile never faltered. It was if he was in on a joke that Marie was not a part of. She wished that she could wipe that smile off of his face. “I gave Logan a second chance at life. When I found him, he was locked up in some dirty prison and if it weren’t for me he would still be there. I gave him purpose when he had none.”

Marie realized that if what Stryker was saying was true, he was telling her about the time in Logan’s life that he didn’t remember. This was his past that had been kept from him for so long.

“He was good at what he did. What I made him do. Most of the time he did the things without question. Logan was my puppet to do with what I wanted. That is all you mutants are good for you know. Being puppets to the human cause.”

“Why are you telling me this,” Marie asked.

“Because I want you to realize what kind of person you are protecting. I want you to realize that all of this is in vain because he isn’t worth your suffering. I can make it go away…everything. All you have to do is realize that Logan isn’t the hero that you think he is.”

“Fuck you,” Marie spat.

Styker smirked at Marie’s outburst. “I once heard a man telling Logan that same thing before Logan broke him in half. The man had done nothing wrong, just at the wrong place at the wrong time and yet Logan took his life.”

“Shut up”

“What’s the matter Mutant? You don’t like to hear the truth about our good ole pal Logan? I’ve watched him take life after life without so much as a thought. Like I said, he was a great puppet.”

Tears started to stream down Marie’s face. She cursed them but it did not stopped their movements. She did not want to hear this. “Tell me Mutant, are you in love with him? Oh but wait, your skin. He can not touch you can he Mutant? No one can. The Logan I know wouldn’t really have the patience to be with someone like you am I right?”

Marie looked away. She could not stand the sight of that smile anymore. That smile was mocking her and Stryker had found her weakness….her skin. He knew how it worked and he would use that to his advantage.

“Logan will never love someone like you. He is incapable of loving anyone. He is a monster, an animal, inside and out. I should know since I’m the one that created him and I created him to be nothing more than a machine. You would be doing him a favor actually. You would be sending Logan back to where he belongs and doing what he is made to do.”

“Never,” she whispered.

“You know Mutant, I can guarantee that if the situation was reversed and Logan was standing, chained to the wall, he would give you up in a heartbeat. He would no more think of you than he would a roach he stepped on.”

Now it was Marie’s turn to smile. Raising her chin, she spoke with such conviction that it surprised even herself. “That’s where you’re wrong. You don’t know him. He would protect me as I am protecting him. Whatever he was and did in his past is just that…in the past. Logan has saved me more times than I can count and he will do it again this time and I hope when he does…he rips you into pieces.”

“You stupid girl. By the time I’m through with you, there will be nothing left to save.”

Marie swallowed hard at Stryker’s words. She always knew deep down inside that she was not meant to leave this place alive but just hearing it from his mouth made it more real.

“I’m offering you a chance to make this easy for yourself. There is so much I could do to you Mutant. There are so many ways that I could get that information out of your pretty little head.”

Stryker stared down at the dog tags that lay snuggly against Marie’s chest. Slowly he reached a gloved hand out and gently touched them, as if they were made of breakable glass. His face turned smooth for a moment as he studied the tags. “I remember the day that I made this for him. It confused me when he told me that he wanted new tags and wanted them to say Wolverine but I think it fit him perfectly, don’t you agree?” Marie did not answer. She wasn’t sure where Stryker was going with this.

“Did you know that he volunteered for the procedure…to have the adamantium put inside of himself?” Styker whispered.

Again Marie turned her shocked face towards the man. What was he saying? He was trying to get to her. There was no way that he could be telling the truth. “You liar! Logan…Logan would never!” she screamed.

As if Marie did not say a word, Stryker continued, “I went to him, tricking him of course, but it was his decision. He made the decision out of revenge, but he still made it. See Mutant, this is the kind of thing you are protecting. Someone who would go to the lowest of lows to exact revenge. Logan is no more than animal. He is no more than the animal printed on this dog tag.”

With that, Styker grabbed the chain and yanked as hard as he could till it gave way. Marie cried out in pain and sorrow as the one thing holding her to Logan was being taken away. She tried to move her arms to grab the tags back but it was no use. She was made to watch as Stryker pocketed the dog tags in his shirt pocket.

“Never forget, I made these for him therefore they belong to me,” he spat.

Her neck ached with the longing of feeling them again. The one thing that Logan cherished was now in the hands of the one thing he hated and it was all her fault.

“Give them back,” she begged.

“.NO! NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!” Stryker screamed.

Marie sobbed as she stared at Stryker’s pocket. She needed those tags back. It was as if they gave her the strength to get through this place. Now, she had nothing to hold on to and she was afraid she would drown in the sorrows of her loss.

“I’m still here darlin’,” said the Logan in her head.

At the sound of his voice, her sobs stilled. If she could hold on to his voice, she could see a way of surviving this place. Without those tags, it really was all she had left.

“What would you say if I told you that I could control your skin Mutant?” Marie’s attention was turned swiftly back to Stryker as he asked her that question. Not for the first time today, she sat in shock at what he was asking her. “I can you know. I can give you the gift of control if you will only give me what I want. How long has it been since you’ve really touched someone Mutant? When was the last time that you have felt someone’s skin upon your skin without killing them?”

“Too long,” Marie whispered without thinking.

A dark smile started to grow on Stryker’s face. He saw the longing in her eyes before she had time to cover it up. “Let me show you what I can do for you Mutant.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Roads. There were so many roads looking the same and going no where. Every road lead to another and another. Every town led to another town and at the end of it all there were still no answers. After two weeks of going from east to west, north to south, Logan still had no clues as to where Marie was.

He started his journey back at the building where it all had taken place. He had searched every inch of the place and found it spotless. There was not even so much as a piece of hair left. Someone had definitely come back and cleared all traces of what the building had been.

Logan took his searching else where. Going from town to town around the area where they had taken Marie. Everyone he spoke to told him the same thing, they had no idea what he was talking about. Each one had the same look on their faces, as if they were hiding something. These people knew damn well what was going on in their back yard but I guess as long as it wasn’t happening to them or their loved ones, it was easy to turn a blind eye.

Frustrated, Logan stopped at a bar near the Canadian boarder. The bar was practically empty which was fine and well with Logan. He did not feel like dealing with people at the moment. All he wanted was a good stiff drink before heading into Canada.

Sitting down at the bar, the barmaid made a bee line over to him. She looked to be young, no older than Marie. She was looking at him as if she could undress him with her eyes. He wanted to scream at her to quit fuckin’ lookin’ at him but it wasn’t her fault that he was in a shitty mood these days. Instead, he ordered a beer and looked around the bar.

There was maybe a total of six people, including himself, that inhabited the bar. Two, a man and woman, were swaying back and forth on the dance floor. There was some sappy love song playing softly and the couple looked to be engrossed in each other.

The rest of the people were either passed out on their tables or enjoying their drinks. All in all, this place was pretty pathetic.

“Can I get you anything else sugar?” the bar maid asked.

Logan did not say a word, just shook his head no.

A couple of minutes later, Logan was about to ask where the bathroom was when his cell phone rang. There was only one person, besides Marie, who knew his number. He rushed to the front door as he flipped the phone open.

“Hello?”

“Logan, this is Xavier. How are you?”

“Been better Chuck, what’s the matter? Have you found anything out about Marie? Do you know where she is?” Logan asked excitedly.

There was a pause and then Xavier answered, “I haven’t heard anything specifically about her Logan, I’m sorry. I do however have a bit of information. I received a call this morning from an informant of mine. He proceeded to tell me he had some information on the whereabouts of a government lab. He had been keeping surveillance of the place and about two weeks ago they got a shipment in. When he dug further he realized that the shipment was actually human beings…mutants to be exact. When he learned of this, he called me right away.

There was silence for a few moments. Logan tried not to get his hopes up but he was beginning to feel the slightest bit of hope start to rear it’s head. Could this be the answer to his prayers?

“Where is it Xavier? Tell me where it is and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Logan, please listen to me. I have no information or proof that Rogue is there. I am gathering the team up and they should be on their way to you in a matter of minutes. Please son, wait on them and go in as a team. You will need back up.”

As much as Logan hated to wait, he knew that Xavier was right. He could not go in there by himself. He needed to remain calm and focused. This was not the time to be stupid. Marie was counting on him and she needed him to be smart about this. He would wait for the others to come.

He did not have to wait long. Ten minutes after his conversation with Xavier, the Blackbird came into view. High above the trees, in all of her glory, was an aircraft that was well beyond it’s years. It really was a beautiful thing to behold.

As soon as it landed, Logan took off after it. This was a small town and there would definitely be talk of the strange aircraft landing in the middle of the old dingy bar’s parking lot.

Climbing into the plane, Logan didn’t waste time going to the back and getting the familiar X-men suit. Logan was shocked at his reflection in the mirror. He could not remember when the last time he slept was and even with his enhanced healing, he still looked as though he hadn’t slept in weeks. In truth, he really hadn’t slept in weeks. The nightmares were becoming too much. He didn’t dream of green water and pain all throughout his body. No longer did he see men in military uniforms celebrating their victory in creating a killing machine. No, his dreams were of falling from a helicopter he desperately wanted to get inside of because she was in there. His dreams were of a girl that was taken away from him.

“Good to see you again Logan.”

Looking at the reflection in the mirror, Jean was standing there watching him. He saw pity in her eyes and it made him want to break the glass in the mirror. That was the last thing he needed, these people’s pity.

“Jean,” he barely said.

Walking past her, he found the first available seat in the back. He wanted to stay as far away from the front as possible. He knew who would be up there and right now was not the time to confront him.

Logan looked around and all of the X-men were accounted for. Here they were, doing it again. Going to some other government military lab to stop God knows what. They were going to help some poor bastards that couldn’t help themselves. Logan only cared about saving one person. There was only one face that he wanted to see.

“Right there. I think I see it,” Scott called out.

Looking out of his window, Logan stared at a large facility. It was hidden pretty well in the woods. There was only one road going to and from the building. It was surrounded by barbed wire fences. Good thing the Blackbird could disguise itself well. They were in no danger of being detected.

Landing in the woods about half a mile away, everyone steadied themselves for the fight ahead. Gathering all of his strength, Logan stood from his seat and made his way towards the door. His eyes automatically went to the face of Scott’s. The two men stood and stared at one another for a moment. Neither wanted to break eye contact. Logan felt his anger boil to the surface as he felt the claws start to slide out.

“I’m not the enemy here Logan. Save it for those guys in there,” Scott said pointing in the direction of the building.

Before Logan could speak, Scott made his way out of the Blackbird. He slowly took a deep breath to get a hold of his emotions. Marie needed him right now and that is the only thing that mattered to him.

“Hang on darlin’. I’m comin’ for you,” Logan whispered as he stepped out into the open forest.

End Notes:
Okay, ya'll know what to do!! Pleaseeeeee review and let me know what you think!!!
Crime and Punishment by loganlovesmarie
Author's Notes:
Let me start by saying thanks so much for all of the comments and reviews…it gives me inspiration to continue this story. I’m not one of those that is gonna say if I don’t get comments or reviews I’m not gonna continue. You either want to say something or not…I’m not going to hold the story hostage…lol!! Anyway, I’ve gotten a lot of nice things said and to you all that have reviewed and commented…you’re so freakin awesome! For the one’s that are reading the story but not reviewing or commenting…I hope you’re liking the story. Don’t be scared to let me know! Now, on with the story….

“Where is she?” Logan whispered.

He knew that he would not get an answer. It was hard to speak with three adamantium claws stuck through the lungs. Logan’s face was mere inches from that of one of the guards. Fear shown through bright and clear as the guard tried to take breath after breath.

“I’ll kill every last one of you mother fuckers till I find her. Where…is…she?”

The guard answered Logan by giving him one last breath. None to gently, Logan let go of the man’s body. The sound of it hitting the concrete was loud in the tiny room.

Looking around, Logan searched for any clues as to where Marie could be in this place. They had been inside for about fifteen minutes and he had found no sign of her. Logan, or rather Wolverine was on the verge of going berserk. He had killed five men so far and not once did he feel anything but rage.

The com device in his ear came to life with the sound of gun fire and the voice of Scott. “We’ve run into gunfire on the third floor! I think we may have found the cells and the mutants. Need backup immediately!”

Without hesitation, Logan took off towards the third floor. If Scott was right, they may have found Marie. With that in mind, Logan ran faster than he had ever ran before. Anyone that got in his way would suffer. He would stop for no one.

Gunfire assaulted Logan’s ears as he made his way towards the third floor. If he had to guess, he would say that there were at least ten guards. He didn’t think that would be a problem.

Silently as possible, Logan made his way towards the back of the guards. None of them suspected that their lives were about to be over. If one had paid any attention and would have been able to hear over the gunfire, they would have heard the sound of metal cutting through skin. They would have heard the adamantium claws coming out to play. As it were, they were doomed from the start.

Logan took three down at the same time. It truly was an awe inspiring sight to watch one man take care of ten. It should not have been humanly possible for that to happen, but of course…Logan wasn’t human. He walked to the last two men alive. They were huddled against the wall far away from where Logan was standing.

They had realized that their guns would do nothing against this beast in front of them. In horror, they watched as he dragged his claws against the wall creating a display of sparks. One of the men started to beg for his life.

“Please sir…I’ve got a wife and a five month old son at home. Let me go home to them…pleaseeee!”

The man’s cries reached an enraged Logan’s ears and yet it did nothing to quench his rage. All Logan could see was red…this man’s blood.

In one swift move, Logan grabbed the man by the throat and brought him dangerously close to his face. He wanted to make sure this son of a bitch understood him when he told him what he had to say.

“Yeah? Well you bastard’s have taken the only good thing I have in my life. I’d say your life with your wife and kid doesn’t mean fuckin’ shit to me. You picked the wrong girl!”


The man’s eyes bulged out of his head as he listened to the horrific whisper. The meaning of Logan’s words became clear to the man as he started to scream.

His screams turned in to gurgles as blood pooled from his mouth. Logan watched as the red contents ran down his chin and disappeared inside the man’s uniform. There was no remorse for this man. He was nothing more than a murderer himself and God knows what else.

Dropping him to the ground, Logan turned his attention to the last remaining guard. He had witnessed what just took place and now it was his turn to beg for his life. To hear the man plead, only enraged Logan more.

He tried not to go to that bad place in his mind but hearing the man beg…it made him wonder if Marie was having to beg for her life. Was she begging for them not to hurt her? Was she begging them not to do horrible things to her?

Logan’s mind was becoming a ticking time bomb and if he didn’t regain control soon, he would not be able to function.

Coming back to the present, Logan slowly made his way over to the guard. “Where are they?” he asked dangerously.

“P…Please, I’ll t..take you to…to them if you will no..not harm me.”

“I’ll harm you if you don’t take me to them. It’s your choice bub!” Logan spat.

Slowly, the guard stood and walked towards the end of the hall. The closer they came to the door in front of them, the worse the smell got. With Logan’s enhanced senses he could smell dirty bodies. It smelled like some had not been washed in months. Vomit, urine, feces…the smell was all around them.

The guard led Logan into another hallway surrounded by cells. Some of them were inhabited and some were not. Logan could not help the shock that colored his face as he took in this monstrous place. How could someone do this to another person?

As they passed the cells that were occupied, the prisoners would raise their heads to see what was going on. Some of them were so out of it, maybe close to death, that they did not even bother to see who had come in.

Logan could hear the rest of the X-men behind him. There was a mixture of gasps and cries coming from the hero’s in black. It would not matter how many times they raided a government lab, to see what kind of conditions the mutants were left in would never become something to get used to. It was something that was deserving of many sleepless nights.

“Unlock the fucking door!” Logan said, barely able to contain his rage.

Doing as he was told, the guard unlocked all of the cell doors, even the ones that were empty. The X-men went to work on getting the sick and dieing out as quick as possible. Logan held tightly to the guard as he watched the prisoners being lead out. Most had to be helped. There were a few that had the strength to make it on their own. Logan counted eleven in all.

Each one that passed him by, he would search their face and scent for Marie. Each one that passed by would drive him further and further towards that dark place because none were her. Logan could feel his resolve crumbling and his firm grip on the guard tighten. The last of the prisoners passed him by and he let his rage take hold.

Grabbing the guard, he threw him up against the wall as hard as he could. Logan heard a few ribs break and felt some satisfaction in that. “Is that all of them?” Logan seethed.

“yes…yes I promise. That was all that…that w..we had. Please let me go!” the guard cried.

This was not what Logan wanted to hear. It couldn’t be true. Marie had to be here somewhere. He could not leave this place without her safely in his arms. “Where is she? I know she’s here mother fucker. TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!” Logan screamed in the man’s face.

“I swear to you this was all that we had here! The other’s were taken out and burned once they died.”

Logan felt his feet waver for just a moment. No! She could not be dead. There was no way in hell that he would believe that she was dead. He would have felt it the moment it happened. This asshole was lying.

Bringing his claws up to the man’s face, he rammed them into his arms, pinning the man to the wall. It was a horrible sight to see and Logan was thankful that none of the X-men were around to see it. He was beyond control now and he would let Wolverine have his blood!

A blood curdling scream penetrated the quiet hallway. The guard’s arms were spread out wide, impaled by six adamantium claws. Logan could feel the man’s blood running down his arms and he relished in the feel of the warm liquid.

“Don’t…fuckin’…lie…to…me!” Logan said each word with meaning so the guard knew he meant business. “You kidnapped a girl from another lab two weeks ago. She’s about nineteen with long chestnut hair and a silver streak in the front. I want her back.”

“What? N…no we didn’t. T…there was n…no one here by that description. Th..these mutants were run..runaways. I…I have no idea who you’re talking…about!” the guard said in agony.

Logan could smell that the guard was telling the truth. Marie was not here. He felt both relief and loss all at once. It was relief that she had not been the one that was burned and loss because she was still out there somewhere.

“Please let me go! I…I swear, I’ll n…never do this shit…shit again!” the guard pleaded. He would have been doing more good talking to a tree stump than the man standing in front of him.

“Why should I give you life when you take life from others? You think you’re doing this world a favor but all you and your goons are doing is adding hate to an already hateful world. You do these God awful things and then turn around and say we are the enemy.”

“Yeah…well what would that make…you if yo..you killed me? I..It would make us right about you people.” The guard coughed up a mouthful of blood.

The smile that formed on Logan’s face was that of pure horror. The guard saw something in that smile that made him start to scream again. Urine ran down his pants leg as his screams intensified.

“Let me tell you what I am…I’m the Wolverine and I am good at what I do. Do you know what I do asshole? Let me show you!”

There was no use in searching the rest of the building. He knew the guard was telling him the truth and he also knew that he could not smell any trace of Marie.

Looking down at the disemboweled remains of the guard, Logan slumped to the floor. His strength was leaving his body and all that was left was defeat. This mission had been for nothing and Marie was still out there in God knows who’s hands. He had failed her again.

Footsteps were growing louder and coming towards Logan. He did not bother to look to see who it was. He stared at the blood that was running through the cracks of the floor. He was hypnotized by the sight of red. For a moment he wanted to bathe in it. He was losing it, he just knew it!

There was an audible gasp and it brought Logan out of his nightmarish thoughts. He did not believe his eyes. Marie stood, watching him with shock written on her face. “Marie!” he whispered. She looked to be in perfect health and not in any kind of danger. She was here and safe with him now.

Jumping to his feet, he ran towards her. Logan was surprised when she jumped back away from him, as if she was scared of him. He was confused. “Marie?”

He received no answer from the beautiful angel in front of him. The shock on her face turned into pity and again he was confused.

“Logan, it’s me…Jubilee.”

Logan looked confused and lost. Closing his eyes, he shook his head one good time and then turned his sight back towards Marie. She was gone. In her place stood Jubilation Lee. Closing his eyes again, Logan felt like he was going to be sick.

“Logan, I need you to hold it together for just a little longer. We…we have to get out of here now.”

Looking around, Logan remembered that they were still in danger being in the building. At any moment reinforcements would show up and they needed to be far away when that happened.

Taking a deep breath, he followed Jubilee outside and towards the jet. The cool air did a world of good for his fuzzy mind. For a moment, he let himself fear that he was going crazy.

Climbing in the jet, all movements froze and all eyes were on Logan. He wanted to scream at them to quit looking at him but that would only make his musings about being crazy more real. Instead, he walked silently towards his seat.

Sitting down he was stunned at the reflection looking back at him from the Blackbird’s window. His face was covered in blood. Bits of brain matter and tissue hung in his hair and ran down his face. He looked like the monster that he really was.

As he closed the blind, there was only one question running through Logan‘s mind. He wondered if the guard ever heard what he whispered to him as his blood curdling screams filled the building.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Tears fell from Marie’s eyes as she looked at Stryker. He was offering her the one thing that she had longed to have. He was offering her the chance to touch. This was a trick, it had to be. For years Marie had done everything possible to learn to control her skin and nothing worked. Xavier, as powerful as he was, could not teach her to control it. But here Stryker was, grinning from ear to ear like a kid in a candy store.

“You could have the chance to feel another person’s skin against your own. Isn’t that what you’ve always dreamed of? Do you dream of Logan being able to touch you? I can give that to you Mutant. It is all up to you,” Stryker whispered.

At the mention of Logan’s name, Marie came out of her dream world. The only way Stryker would give her a gift like that is for her to turn Logan in. Marie’s hopes were dashed in a second.

“No.”

“No?” Stryker asked angrily. “I offer you the one thing you’ve wanted for years and you say no? You will never be able to control your skin on your own Mutant, it’s too powerful. I can help you if you will just help me.”

Closing her eyes, Marie said goodbye to what little chance she had of actually being able to touch someone. He was right, she had tried everything. For the first time since her mutation kicked in, Marie found that something was more important than being able to touch again.

In that moment, being chained up like some animal and looking evil straight in the eyes, Marie realized that the ability to touch did not even come close to being able to keep Logan safe. If she had to make a choice, she would never touch again if it meant he was safe. The chains around her heart, that had been put there for so long, were torn away. She was free from thinking her skin was a curse.

“You will not use my longing to touch someone against me. I will not tell you where Logan is just so I can know what it feels like to really feel someone again.”

Marie watched satisfied as Stryker’s face turned every shade of red. He had actually thought that his little plan would work. He thought she would give Logan up if he helped her to touch again. Stryker really underestimated her devotion to Logan.

“I should really kill you. You are more of a burden to me than anything else,” Stryker said more to himself than to Marie.

“Why do you hate us so much?” Marie whispered.

The question popped out before Marie could stop it. She never intended on asking him that. It was more of a thought than anything. There were too many emotions to count on Stryker’s face as he thought about the question.

Again she watched as he face turned smooth. “I did not always hate your kind Mutant,” he said quietly.

Marie could have sworn that she heard sadness in his voice. His face was void of emotion yet his eyes spoke of a different story. They were older than his years and just for a split second, Marie felt sorry for him. She had no idea why this feeling came over her, but watching him lost in his thoughts, she couldn’t stop it.

“I was married once. She was my high school sweet heart and I knew from the moment I met her that I would give her the world if I could. She had the most gorgeous eyes that I had ever seen. The day she said she would marry me was the happiest day of my life…I will never forget that day.”

Marie was surprised to hear his voice so gentle. He had been nothing but hard and vindictive since she had been brought to this place. She wanted to believe that this was another act, but sadly she could tell that this was true.

“The day my son was born almost ranked up there to the day that my wife married me. I had always wanted a son. I had so many plans for him. He was the joy of our lives and we couldn’t have been happier.”

Styker stopped and stared at Marie for a moment. She wondered if he was trying to figure out why he was telling her all of this. It was so personal and he was allowing Marie to see a side of him that she did not think existed. It was overwhelming to say the least.

“Tell me Mutant, how did your parents react to you when they found out you were a mutant? Did they continue to love you? Did they try to help you?”

The sudden shift in the conversation had Marie’s head spinning but she answered him honestly. “They sent me away,” she said low.

Stryker only nodded. He sat for a moment in thought. Marie again watched as all sorts of emotions ran through his face. “So they just cut you loose? They did not bother with you anymore?” he asked casually.

“I guess you could say that.”

Again, Stryker went deep in thought. Marie was beginning to become very uncomfortable with this situation. She wasn’t used to seeing Stryker so…vulnerable.

“Maybe that’s what we should have done.,” he said more to himself than Marie. “We should have cut all ties while we still could. She would never have done that though. Up until the final moments of her life she loved that boy unconditionally.”

A single tear ran down the side of Stryker’s face. Marie felt her own tears welling up again. How she could cry for this man she did not know, yet she sat with the tears ready to fall.

“Your wife died?” she said in a shaky voice.

He slowly looked up to face Marie. Anger filled his every pore as he bore his eyes into hers. “My wife did not just die. She was murdered by the one thing in our lives that we loved more than each other,” he spat.

“Oh God,” Marie whispered.

“God? God? God had nothing to do with this. It was the disease known as mutation that murdered my wife! Would you like to know what my son did to her? Huh, MUTANT!” he screamed. Stryker flew out of his chair and knocked it to the floor. Marie jumped back in shock and surprise.

“He played with her mind. That…thing made her see things, horrible things, that weren’t there. He made her believe she was going crazy.” Stryker was now mere inches from Marie’s face. Every time he spoke, his spit would fly in her face. She could only watch as he anger built up and she knew at the end of this there would be hell to pay.

“She finally had enough and you know what she did Mutant? DO YOU!” he screamed.

Marie braced herself as she waited for him to tell her what his wife did. She started to pray because she knew it was not going to end well. She could see the rage at the surface and sooner rather than later it was going to explode. The horrible thing was she was in it’s path.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID? ANSWER ME MUTANT!”

That is when Marie got a taste of what was to come. Before she had time to answer him, Stryker’s fist met her jaw. The force alone was enough to knock Marie senseless. For a split second she forgot where she was. Her head was ringing so loud she could barely hear herself breathing.

“SHE DRILLED INTO HER OWN BRAIN TO BORE OUT THE IMAGES HE WAS MAKING HER SEE! INSTEAD OF COMING TO ME FOR HELP, SHE WENT COMPLETELY MAD!”

Marie’s head pounded with a fury she did not know and Stryker’s screaming in her ear did not help her cause. She tried shaking her head to get her bearings back but it was no use. Stryker had literally knocked her senseless.

Settling down a bit, Stryker went on, “After I buried the love of my life, do you know what happened next Mutant?” he asked with a laugh.

Marie was too afraid to speak so she just nodded her head no. She really wanted this conversation to end. The longer it went on the more terrified she got. To think she allowed herself to feel sorry for this nut job.

“He came after me!” Stryker whispered. “He shoved images in my mind so horrible that I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone Mutant. He showed me images of my wife’s mangled head over and over and over until I was screaming for mercy. I begged my son…my mutant son for mercy and he pushed the images further. My love for my own flesh and blood, the one responsible for the love of my life becoming worm’s food, became a hatred like none I have ever known.”

Marie did not realize that she was softly begging Stryker to stop. She could not take it anymore. The story itself was enough to drive her crazy. What scared her the most was that Stryker had this far off look in his eyes, like he did not see Marie. It was as if he was seeing someone else.

“Do you know what I did then?” he said laughing. It was a laugh made from pure madness. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? Being a scientist, I know a thing or two about the brain.” There was that laugh again.

“As he lay sleeping in is warm bed one night, I crept in and shot him with a tranquilizer. It was almost too easy really. I was actually expecting a fight but he just lay there as I stuck him with the needle. I took him to a warehouse where I had doctors waiting there for us. Doctor Langford was one of them.”

Marie really didn’t like where this was going. The look in Stryker’s eyes told her he was beyond reality.

“Do you remember what I did Jason?” he asked, looking straight at Marie. He did not wait for an answer. “I scrambled that pretty little head of yours up didn’t I? Tell me, did you feel every bit of what I was doing to you? Did you try to scream but found that you couldn’t?” Stryker’s voice so gentle. It was as if he were trying to console his son. “I made sure that you could never hurt anyone again. I made sure that your mother would be your only victim. And I’ll make sure that all who are like you will pay. I’ll make sure that she didn’t die in vain.”

The tears again flowed down Stryker’s face. Again sadness overtook him but Marie did not pity him. She still saw the hatred and rage in his eyes. Those eyes were looking straight at her.

“I’ll do to every Mutant what I did to my son. Starting with you.” Before Marie could prepare herself, she watched in slow motion as Stryker’s hand came down upon her head. Whatever was in his hand, Marie would never know because the darkness came to her too soon.

End Notes:
Whew….that was kind of emotional for me to write. I could not sleep last night because I had this all in my head and I just had to get it out. Stryker is one messed up dude! And what's up with Logan...is he losing it too? Well, sorry but Logan didn’t find her this time…come on, did you really think it was gonna be that easy? Is he too late? Please, feel sorry for me for staying up all night to write this chapter and leave me a comment!
We Choose the Paths We Must by loganlovesmarie
Author's Notes:
Sorry it took me forever to update!!! IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY!! I hope you enjoy!

Pain. That was the only thing that Marie knew for days after Stryker beat her. She would go in and out of consciousness. When awake, she would cry out to no one, because there was no one that cared about her suffering. Soon, the cries turned to whispers. Her voice had given out on her.

For weeks they did not come for her. She did not have to face that bright room and the stinking aroma of stale cigarettes and coffee. She did not have to face the punishment of Stryker’s and yet it scared her that they just let her be.

Both of her eyes had been swollen shut and so she was forced to feel her way around her small cell. Every movement caused a wave of agonizing pain through her head and her back. There was no doubt that she had suffered a concussion. Marie wasn’t sure what Stryker had used to beat her, but the effects of it was still showing weeks later.

She heard footsteps coming towards her cell and on instinct, she huddled in the corner well away from the door. It had taken a while, but she could slowly start to see some out of her right eye. The cell and the surrounding hallway was pretty dark so it was hard to see even if she had good eyesight. All Marie was able to make out was an outline of someone’s body.

“Please girl, do yourself a favor and give Stryker what he wants. I can’t stand this much longer. I can’t stand to watch them torture you and the rest of the mutants. Do us all a favor and just give in.”

Marie recognized the strained whisper belonged to the guard that had taken her to Stryker the day he had beaten her almost to death. Again, she was amazed that the concern in his voice, as if he cared about some mutant.

“Why do you care anyway?” Marie asked in a raspy voice.

There was no answer. Marie didn’t think the guard had a good answer to give her or maybe he just didn’t really know himself. Either way, she wished he would stop pretending to actually care what happened to her.

“I care because I’m human and I see other humans being treated like cattle.”

At this, Marie started to laugh. She couldn’t help it and for a moment, she was worried she was going crazy. The laugh was more of a cough than anything but she knew it to be a laugh. “Human? You are calling me a human? From the moment I was brought into this place I have been known as nothing more than a mutant. There you stand calling me a human when the people you work for, the people doing horrible things to me, treat me as nothing but dirt on the floor. Don’t call me human. I stopped being that the moment I was captured.”

The guard was quiet. Marie wasn’t sure if he was surprised by her words or just didn’t know what to say in response. “Now, if you don’t mind, can I have my food so I can eat like a good girl?” Marie said sarcastically.

Taking a deep breath, the guard slid the tray of food into Marie’s cell. As he turned to go, Marie heard him whisper, “You don’t deserve this.”

She did not say anything else. What she wanted to say would just fall on deaf ears anyway. The guard felt she didn’t deserve this, yet what had he done to get her out of this place? It was easy to talk, harder to take action.

Long after the guard left, Marie sat and ate what little food they gave her. It tasted horrible but she knew if she did not eat it, she would not last long.

Her sorrow was trying to take over. The feeling of loneliness and defeat was slowly washing over her like water from a shower. It was easy to lose all hope in this place. It had been over a month since she was captured but it felt like years.

As she sat there on the cold concrete, she let her mind wander to her family. She could see the outline of Xavier’s home…her home. She could feel the silk sheets of her bed as they engulfed her small form. She could hear the shouting and laughter from the mutants inside the walls of the mansion. They were her family and she was as far away from them as one person could be. Marie wondered what crazy scheme Jubes would be thinking up at the moment, or how much trouble John and Bobby would get in for sneaking out like they did every Friday night. No doubt, the Professor, Jean, Scott and Storm would be discussing the latest news involving mutant and human relations.

And Logan…Logan would be settling in for one of his hockey games. Marie knew where she would be and what she would be doing. Wherever Logan would be, that’s where she would be also. A small smile formed on her bruised face as she thought of Logan. She could only imagine what he was going through right now. No doubt, he was blaming himself. Logan always found a way to think everything was his fault when it came to her.

Before she knew it, she felt something wet slip down her cheek. Bringing her hand up to feel, she came away with water on her fingers. She was crying and not for the first time, yet this time it felt as though she had hit the bottom of the pit. Marie couldn’t stop the wave of agony as it crashed down upon her. She could do nothing but succumb to it. “All is lost. I’m so lost.” It was only a whisper and yet it sounded to her ears as loud as bomb. The weight of those words were more than enough to push her over.

There was going to be no rescue. There was no happy ending waiting at the end of this journey for her. This was all there was going to be until they finally decided to get rid of her. The X-men would not find her. HE would not find her.

“There you go, not havin’ any faith in me darlin,’” The Logan in her head whispered. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

Marie could hear the disappointment and it made her feel worse. “There’s no hope left Logan. I’ll never leave this place!” she cried.

“Marie, listen to yourself. I taught you to be stronger than this. You gotta fire deep down inside of ya darlin’. You gotta hold on to that until he gets to ya. You know as well as I do that he won’t stop until he finds you.”

Yes, Marie did know that but she also knew that her situation wasn’t good. Logan may never stop looking for her, but the question is whether he will be able to find her in time and a part of her didn’t think that was going to happen. Better to get used to that idea now that have it slap you in the face later.

“You’re lettin’ them win Marie. Don’t you get that. This is what they want. They want you to believe that you ain’t gettin’ out of here. You’re giving them exactly what they want.”

“Well excuse me if I can’t be a little optimistic at the moment Logan. I’m sitting in a small cell on cold concrete with my face bashed in!” she yelled.

Marie threw her hands over her mouth in surprise. The outburst came from no where and in the small cell it still vibrated off of the walls. “Oh God Logan, I’m so sorry,” she pleaded as if the real Logan was standing in front of her.


There was no answer. It took several minutes and finally she heard the soft words, “It’s okay darlin’. I understand better than you think.” Nothing else was said between Marie and the Logan in her head. There really wasn’t anything else that needed to be said.

Marie stood up and made her way towards the small cot. Slowly, she closed her eyes and just for a moment let herself pretend that she was surrounded by the strong, warm arms of Logan.

Marie didn’t know how long she had slept. The sound of a door being unlocked woke her from her dreamless sleep. Rising slowly, she watched as two guards made their way into her cell. She noticed that neither one was the guard that showed concern earlier. These men were looking at her with a smug smile on their ugly faces.

“Rise and shine sweetheart. You got a date with the Doctor,” one of the guards said laughing. This couldn’t be good at all.

The guards didn’t give Marie time to speak before they came towards her carefully. Both men were clad from head to toe in uniform. Their hands were covered in gloves. They came well prepared. One of them even had a taser in his hands. They were expecting a fight, something that Marie just didn’t have in her at the moment. She went without incident. The disappointment from the Logan inside her head was radiating through her entire body. Marie just couldn’t find the strength to care.

Marie was dragged through the darkened hallway. As she passed each cell, her eyes roamed through them. She could see outlines of mutants huddled in the corner, probably praying that they wouldn’t be next. She knew exactly what each and everyone of them were thinking…’thank God it isn’t me’. She didn’t blame them. If she wasn’t the one being dragged right now, she would be in her cell thinking the same thing.

“Thank God it isn’t you,” she whispered.

“What did you say mutant?” One of the guards asked harshly.

Marie did the smart thing this time…she said nothing.

They entered the room that Marie had nicknamed the pits of hell. She knew this room now like she would know her room at the mansion. It still stank of stale cigarettes and coffee. For a moment she wished one of these monsters smoked a cigar. At least it would remind her of Logan.

“On the table please,” Dr. Langford said without turning around.

As they placed her on the table, Marie noticed that Stryker was absent. She didn’t know whether to be thankful or worried shitless. There was only a handful of people in the room with her this time. All of them seemed to be in the medical profession.

Before she could stop it, the memories of Logan’s nightmares assaulted her mind. People in scrubs and white coats, all there celebrating their victory. She felt the Logan in her head start to growl. She could feel his nervousness and fear. That scared her more than anything.

Finally Dr. Langford turned around and walked towards Marie. In his hands was an array of instruments laid out on what looked to be a silver serving tray. These instruments weren’t for eating food either. Marie knew exactly what they were. They were medical instruments.

Fear took over as Marie started to fight in her restraints. She knew that it was no use. She was trapped exactly where she was and those instruments would be used on her.

“No use in fighting mutant. Stryker is gone out for the evening and he has allowed me to play with his favorite pet. I’m planning on experimenting with you just a bit tonight if that’s okay,” he said laughing.

Marie wanted to suck that smile straight off of his face. She would kill him without so much as a thought if given the chance. Even though she was scared out of her mind, she would not give these monsters the satisfaction of seeing it.

“Fuck you,” she growled. “Fuck all of you.”

She knew her words did not have sway over these people. They saw her as nothing more than shit in a toilet. There was not one person who saw her as they saw themselves. She was not their equal. “FUCK YOU!” she screamed anyway, even though it did no good.

The doctor just smiled as he came closer to her. He sat the plate down beside the bed Marie was strapped to and began to put gloves on. She couldn’t stop him for reaching for a scalpel. The smooth knife reflected in the lights above them. Every scenario possible ran through Marie’s head in seconds.

“This might hurt a little.” Before she had time to think about what the doctor said, she watched horrified as he brought the scalpel down upon the exposed skin of her leg. The knife sliced through her skin easily as the crimson waves of blood erupted. It only took a second but the pain lasted longer. Doctor Langford had sliced off a piece of skin from her leg.

She wasn’t sure what came first, the tears or the screams. One thing she was sure of, she hated the color red.

“Amazing,” she heard him whisper as he held her skin in his hands. “See people, they are not superior to us. They bleed as we do.” There was a collective of murmurs and agreements that shifted through the room.

‘Don’t forget pain Doctor. We feel pain as you all do as well,’ Marie thought.

“Jennings, take this to the lab and begin tests immediately. Stryker will want the results as soon as he gets back.”

“Yes Doctor Langford.”

Marie watched a man in his mid thirties take her skin gently in his gloved hands and walk out of the room. “Bring in mutant 2343,” Langford said.

Two guards quickly left the room only to come back moments later with someone who must have been mutant 2343. It was a girl who looked no older than Marie herself. She looked to be about five-two. Her hair hung dirty and long down her back and in her face. This mutant looked like she had been starved for days. The light that could usually be found in someone’s eyes was missing from this girl.

That is what this place does. It takes every ounce of light from you. This will be me in a matter of time,’ Marie thought.

Marie watched as doctor Langford slowly walked to stand behind the girl. Placing both hands on her shoulders, he spoke, “I need your help pet. I need you to read this thing’s mind and find someone for me. Can you do that?” His voice was so soft, as if he were speaking to a small infant.

The girl didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. Marie started to feel her mind grow heavy, as if something were laying on her head. It was so strong. This girl may have looked like she was going to kill over dead at any second, yet your mutation was as strong as anything Marie ever felt.

“Marie, fight!” the Logan in her head yelled. She could hear the strain in his voice. ‘I can’t, she’s too strong!” Marie cried.

“You can do it darlin’. Remember everything that Chuck taught ya. Put your walls up Marie. Put them up NOW!”

For a split second, Marie locked eyes with the mutant trying to pry her brain apart and she saw a flicker of light in those eyes. She understood with just a fleeting glance that the girl had heard Logan. It would be only a matter of seconds and the girl would know everything.

“Marie, the walls! Put up the fucking walls!”

The desperation in Logan’s voice was enough for Marie to start doing what she needed to protect him and everyone else that she loved. Piece by piece, brick by brick, she started building those walls that would lock Logan and all the memories away.

She could hear grunts coming from the girl trying to break through her subconscious. Beads of sweat were falling down both girl’s faces as they found themselves in a tug of war for power.

“AHHHH!” Marie yelled as the walls began to sway under the onslaught of the mutant’s powers. “Come on Marie, you can do it darlin’.” Logan’s voice was slowly slipping away as he was pushed behind the walls.

“What’s taking so damn long!” Langford yelled.

The mutant pressed further. She was so strong. The capillaries around Marie’s eyes and forehead started to burst in unison. Staring at the mutant, Marie saw true life in her eyes now. It would have been such a beautiful sight to see that this girl, who had been through God know’s what, find life again. But in finding life, this mutant was trying to take from Marie all that she held dear.

Just as the walls began to crack, Marie looked the mutant straight in her eyes and said just one word. “Please,” she whispered.

Understanding shown back at Marie. The mutant knew what it was like to be on that bed. What horrible things must have happened to this person who didn’t deserve any of it. Time seemed to stand still as they stared at each other. One, fighting for everything. The other, understanding that fight. A fight that she gave up on so long ago.

Marie watched as tears began to form in the mutant’s eyes yet none of them fell. The girl slowly began to remove herself from Marie’s mind. The pain began to ease as the pounding died down. Just a few seconds more and the mutant could have penetrated Marie’s walls. Suddenly, Marie was alone in her head again. Her walls remained standing and became as strong as ever. She had done it, yet not without the help of this mutant.

“I can’t do it,” the mutant said in a small raspy voice.

“You can’t DO it! What do you mean you CAN’T do it!” Langford screamed.

“She’s too strong,” she said with a smile.

Marie couldn’t help but smile back. Both girls knew that Marie wouldn’t have lasted much longer. This mutant…no this girl chose to protect the things in Marie’s head. She choice to protect HIM. Marie didn’t know this girl, but she would be in her debt for as long as she lived, whether that be days from now or years to come.

Langford leaned in to whisper into the girl’s ear, “Well if you can’t beat her, then perhaps you could join her!”

With that, he grabbed her neck and brought her towards Marie. She didn’t have to think too hard on what the doctor had planned. Even so, there was nothing Marie could do. There was no where for her to go. She could not possibly move out of the way. She choice to beg him not to do what he was about to.

“Please!” she yelled, “Please don’t do thi…” Her screams were cut off by her mutation kicking in. Every fiber of her being came to life with the rush of her skin upon another’s. Her mind was again assaulted but not from the girl’s mutation but from the girl herself.

As if she were watching a movie, memories ran passed her at the speed of light. A girl playing on a bike with one purple string and the other red. There was a beautiful woman with red hair kneeling down beside her, brushing her clothes off. There was a smile so filled with love, Marie couldn’t help but feel it. The memories flew past again until she was faced to face with the same woman and a man staring at her in shock. The beautiful woman looked as though she had been crying. The man, he looked as though he had been slapped.

“Doctor Langford sir, you’re killing her.”

“Good!” Langford yelled.

In her mind she was begging this man and this woman not to send her away. She was promising them that she would be a good girl. No one would have to know that she was a freak. “Please daddy! Please!” she yelled out.

“Doctor Langford, stop this now!”

He would not yield. Langford was determined to make this mutant pay for not obeying him.

The memories flew past again until Marie was looking at the same small, dirty cell that she knew all too well. “I wanna go home!” she cried.

She saw guards filing through her cell door, one after the other, doing things to her that should never be done to anyone. “Make it stop, PLEASE!”

No one was listening to her screams. The nurses and assistance stood in shocked silence as they watched the scene unfold. Marie had never taken a life before with her powers and she wasn’t sure that she would be able to survive it.

Finally the memories stopped and standing before Marie was herself. Her reflection was shown through another’s eyes and she saw just how bad off she looked. “It’s over,” she whispered in a voice that was not her own.

As the last of the girl’s life drained into Marie’s, she was brought back to the present day with a much heavier conscious. She was so tired. “It’s over. It’s finally over,” the mutant wept with joy in her head. April…her name was April and she was just fifteen fucking years old. At an age where girls would experience their first boyfriend and their first kiss, this poor girl was dead, taken away by the power of a bloodsucking mutant! That was too great a burden to bare for Marie.

“NOOOOOO!” she yelled before she knew no more.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what day it was or even what time it was. All he knew was that a month had gone by. One month…thirty days…seven-hundred forty-four hours…forty-three thousand two-hundred minutes, it didn’t matter how you added it up, she still was no where to be found.

Now, because he could not find her himself and Xavier had done such a bang up job, he was at the one place he thought he would never be. He was going to ask the one man, he swore he would kill, for help. Many times over the past couple of days, he wondered just what the hell he was doing. If Xavier could not find her, then how could HE be able to find her. Still, he was running out of options and time.

Logan knew exactly where to look. It wasn’t hard to find information from the less heroic mutants in the underground. After a week of asking for information, he know found himself looking at the location of a place he only thought he would see as a captive. When all was said and done, he had a feeling that was what he was going to be. Taking a deep breath, and thinking of Marie, he moved forward.

It did not take too long for the first signs of mutant activity to make it’s presence. His keen sense of hearing picked up on footsteps approaching at full speed. Logan walked cautiously. He did not want them to think he was setting them up for a trap. It was only him making this trip into hell.

“You do not belong here!” came a hiss to his right.

Logan slowed down and turned towards the owner of that hiss. At first he saw nothing, but looking closer he noticed the glowing red eyes of a mutant hiding behind a wall of trees. The mutant’s skin matched the green and brown of the trees perfectly. Anyone other than Logan would have probably missed him completely. He was crouched down into a fighting position, waiting for Logan to strike.

Slowly, Logan raised his hands in the arm to show the mutant he meant no harm. “I’m not here to fight. I need to speak with Him now,” Logan said carefully.

“Leave this place,” he hissed again.

“Sorry bub, I’m not going any damn where. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way with you at the end of my adamantium claws. It’s up to you pal,” Logan growled.

Just as the mutant was about to spring on Logan, someone spoke. “Now now boys. Try to reign in the testosterone. Is that any way to treat our guest Austin?”

Logan’s skin crawled at the mere sound of her voice. He felt his adamantium itching to come out and play. “Look what the cat dragged in! did you get tired of playing superhero to a world that hates you?”

“I need to see him,” Logan said. He did not feel like getting to any conversation with her. It would lead to one or both of them lying dead on the ground and right now that was the last thing Marie needed. She was counting on him to keep his composure and do what he needed to do to save her. It was, after all, the reason he was standing here. He just needed to keep reminding him of that.

“So what, you just figured you’d come down here and ring his doorbell? We should just kill you know,” she said with a smirk. The bitch was getting off on this shit. “Or, we could go to my room and do…other less dangerous things,” she purred.

“Fuck you,” Logan spat. That got him only a smile from her.

“Follow me,” she said as she turned to walk into the cave.

Logan did not hesitate. He figured if they were going to kill him, she would have done it by now or at least tried. His chances of getting out of here alive looked a little better.

It seemed as though they walked for miles through darkness. Logan had excellent eyesight yet all he could tell was they were going downward.

Just as he was wondering whether this was a trap or not, light started to show up ahead. “Right this way cave man,” she said laughing. Logan wanted so bad to gut her just to make her shut the fuck up. He knew if he did that though, Marie would be as good as gone to him.

Entering into a large, well lit room, Logan noticed that there was about thirty people watching his every move. They ranged from the tallest human he had ever seen to the smallest. They seemed to me a circle in the middle of the room where the bitch was leading him. Three of the mutants moved aside as she led him smack dab into the center.

Seeing his predicament, Logan started trying to figure out a way to get himself out of this mess in case it didn’t go his way. Before he could even think of a way, his body started to hum. It could only mean one thing and represent one person.

Every pair of eyes turned to look behind Logan. He decided that was probably what he should do as well. His body started becoming harder to control as the person behind him got closer. He hated this feeling. Everything in him told him to bring out the claws and fight his way out of this place but he buried that thought. Marie was all that mattered at the moment, nothing else!

“Well, well, well…what do we have here?” a pristine voice spoke. It bounced off the walls of the cave and came crashing down on Logan. Even the voice had Logan’s rage starting to build. “Come to your senses I see?” the man said laughing.

Taking a deep breath, Logan began to speak, “I’ve come to ask you for help.”

All around him, the mutants began to laugh. Logan’s rage was starting to become uncontrollable. He just needed a few minutes and every one of these assholes would be dead. “Me? Help you? Why on earth would you come to me?”

“Because, I got something you want,” Logan growled. This was it. This was the bargaining chip that he had to help save Marie. He would do anything, even this to get her back and if he did get her back it would be worth it. No matter what happens in the end, she is all that matters.

“And what on earth would that be Wolverine?”

“We both know what that is Magneto,” Logan spat.

“Indeed we do,” Magneto said knowingly.

Logan found the courage to say what he had never thought he would hear himself say to Magneto. This was the man that tried to kill Marie, and actually had succeeded. He prayed that Marie would forgive him for what he was about to say, but there was nothing else he could do. He had come to the end and she was still lost to him. If she was worth his death, then she was worth something worse than death. He would never regret this decision if it worked.

“I will swear my allegiance to you and your cause if you will give me the help I seek!” Logan pleaded.

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:
please please please review!!! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!!!!!! :)
The Meeting by loganlovesmarie

Marie sat in her darkened cell, rocking back and forth as she held her head in her hands. For days she sat and fought between her own self and the girl who’s life she took. The girl’s being was so strong within her, stronger than Eric’s, stronger that Logan’s. Marie felt that at any moment, she would break all together. Her strength was waning and she was having a hard time remembering what was her own dreams and what was the girl’s. The girl, Taylor, had not forged herself with Marie. It was as if Marie had another personality all together. She could hear the thoughts of everyone around her and it was scaring her.

“Shut up!” she whispered frantically to all of the people in her head.

The thought’s from the mutants, in the cells, around her were coming without end. Marie grabbed her head, pulling her hair to make the voices stop. She was slowly drowning in their words and their sorrow.

“My name is Marie!” she whispered “My name is M…Marie.”

She repeated her name over and over, as if she were praying. So scared to forget who she was, Marie kept reminding herself of who she was and where she came from. “My name…,:” she could not finish.

Tears streamed down her face as the voices became louder. What was to become of her now? Would she forever be lost within herself and within the voices. She needed Xavier right now. He would help her to build the walls needed to shut the voices out. He would help her to know how to deal with her new personality.

“My…name…is,” she started but could not finish. A scream ripped from her mouth as she was drowned by the screams and the cries of the ones around her. Marie felt herself losing the battle with her mind and soon she would be just another voice amongst the numerous voices in her head.

“Fight Marie, you can do it,” Like a beacon in the night, Logan’s voice sounded above the rest. His strength and love battled through the other’s to pull Marie back from the black abyss. In her mind, he held her close to him, flowing his love through her.

Marie felt herself coming back. Logan was helping her to find her way back to the forefront. With his help, she started to forge her walls. Brick by brick she built them around Taylor and her telepathy. It would not hold her for long, but it would hold her for now.

She lay her head down on the cold floor. What luxuries could be found in the cell had long since been taken from her. Stryker and his followers would show her no kindness until she gave them what they wanted. It scared her to know they had not come for her in days. The longer they waited to get her, the worse it usually was.

Stryker had been monstrous to her last time she had seen him. What would he have planned for her this time? He was bound to realize that she would not break. Was there something he had planned that would make her break? The thought of giving up Logan’s location to that monster scared Marie more than anything. She would rather die in this rat infested cell than to do that to Logan.

“That won’t happen darlin’,” Marie gave a soft smile to the Logan in her head. Always the optimistic one. How long had it been since she had seen the real Logan? How long had it been since she had felt his arms around her?

She did not have time to ponder those questions before she heard footsteps approaching her cell. Marie did not have the strength to hide in a dark corner. Her mind was only on building those wall so she could think clearly. Already the voices around her were dying down. They were not gone completely, but at least she could think clearly.

“On your feet mutant.”

The guard was none to nice with his words. His voice reeked of hatred and disgust. It was the moment Marie had been waiting for. The guard would lead her back to that white room that she had come to hate so much.

She did not try to fight him. Slowly, she got to her feet. Marie had to steady herself for a second as the dizziness took hold of her. The guard came towards her, watching her every move. She could hear in his head. He was looking for her to try something, anything to escape. Where would she go if she did that? How would she get out of here?

The guard, with his covered hands, grabbed Marie by the arms and slammed her against the cell bars. She felt the breath being knocked out of her as he handcuffed her hands. Grabbing her roughly, he shoved her out into the hall, the whole time his mind was screaming of things he would love to do to her. Marie slammed her eyes shut against the assault of his mind. The walls were almost built but his voice carried to her like a whisper.

He shoved her into the white room and strapped her to the table that she had come to know so well. As he walked out, Marie noticed that she was alone. This was the first time that she had been alone in the white room. Looking around, she searched for anything that would help her get out but knew it was of no use. They would never allow anything to be left to help her escape.

The door behind her opened and closed softly. Marie waited for the person to show themselves. The minutes went by and still they did not come around for her to see them. She knew someone was back there, she could hear their mind whispering. The hatred for mutants showed through the haze of Marie’s mind and she knew instantly who it was.

“Stryker,” she whispered.

She heard him snort behind her and clap his hands, as if he were impressed. It made her angry. She wanted, not for the first time, to climb off of the table and strike out at him any way she could. Marie was beginning to hate Stryker with every fiber of her being, not only for what he did to Logan but for what he was doing to her.

“Your gifts are pretty amazing mutant. They are almost as amazing as the trash you are protecting.”

His voice was the same low, monotone. It was as if he were discussing the weather with her. Stryker always started out like this, but their conversations would soon take a turn for the worse. Marie was waiting on that to happen.

Slowly, he walked passed her and grabbed a chair, sitting it in front of her. Stryker stared at her without speaking. Marie tried to stare back but his gaze frightened her and she looked away. His mind was screaming every hateful thing he thought of her. Even though she hated him, his words still cut her like a knife.

“You can hear what I am thinking?” he asked softly.

She did not answer him. “Doctor Langford told me what happened. I would like to say that I was enraged, but I found it to be quite funny.”

Marie looked at him this time. Her face was a mask of disgust and fury. How could this man sit here and think it was funny that she killed another person? How could he think so little of mutants, no matter what his son had done.

“You still think I care about you and your pathetic race mutant?” His voice was cold.

Again, she did not answer him. They stared at one another for what seemed like eternity to Marie. She desperately tried to figure out what he had planned, but he was not giving anything away. His mind closed off from her gifts and it scared her. What was he hiding and why?

“Where is he?”

That question and become rooted into their daily meetings. He always and forever would ask her where Logan was, as if she would ever tell him. “Go to hell,” she whispered.

Stryker just smiled his same insane smile. “You know mutant, there are worse things than death. I’ve been asking myself, a lot lately, why you would hide someone like Logan. Everything has crossed my mind. For you to have had those tags means that you are something special to him. Logan would not give those away lightly. So, I’ve been wondering how to break you from that hold Logan has on you.”

He went quiet, as if still thinking about it. For a brief moment, Marie saw his face relax. The lines in his forehead leveled out and he looked younger than he normally did.

“The truth is that I will never break you from Logan’s hold over you, will I?”

It was a rhetorical question and Marie did not bother to answer. Stryker knew the answer already. “So, I will break you from yourself. I will break you down until there is nothing left of who you are. Once that happens, you will care for nothing and no one.”

His words stole the breath from Marie. Yes, she knew there were worse things than death and what Stryker was saying was scaring her. For one moment, their eyes met. His was filled with a void of darkness so deep. Marie could find no semblance of a human being left in them.

Stryker stood up and walked to the wall, pushing a button. “Doctor Langford, we are ready for you now.”

The door to the white room opened and Marie could hear several footsteps enter the room. Doctor Langford walked in front of Stryker and handed him a box. Stryker looked at it for a long time. Marie’s heart began to pound furiously. What had they planned this time?

Stryker opened the box and Marie looked nervously at the contents. She saw what looked to be a black collar of some sort. There was nothing fancy about it at all. It confused her at first, but then she saw the smile on Stryker’s face.

“Do you know what this is mutant?” he asked low.

His eyes looked up at her, waiting for her to answer. Marie could not find the words so she shook her head no. She had never seen it before. Stryker’s smile grew as his eyes danced behind his glasses.

Without warning, Stryker jumped from his chair and approached her. Marie recoiled back but could not go anywhere. She was strapped to the bed, her feet and hands protesting the restraints. Stryker brought the collar to her neck, as the Logan in her head screamed in rage.

She felt her skin grow alarmingly still. The voices in her head were all silenced. Desperately, she searched her mind for Logan but he was gone completely. Her eyes darted around the room frantically looking for an explanation of what was happening. Stryker leaned in to her, only inches from her ear.

“He will not want you after this mutant,” he whispered.

Marie’s eyes went wide. He would not want her after what? Stryker was so close to her skin. Without thinking, Marie turned her cheek to touch his. She counted the seconds till her skin started to do it’s thing but nothing happened. All that Marie felt was warm skin touching her own. Stryker, not moving an inch laughed in her ear. The sound piercing her very soul. Marie realized that the collar had done something to her mutation.

“How does it feel to know that your prayers have been answered by me mutant? How does it feel to know you are touching someone skin to skin?”

Marie should have felt elated. She had been waiting for this day since the moment her mutation kicked in, but something told her that this situation was far more dangerous than it appeared. Her instincts were telling her to fight and run from the room, though it was impossible for her to do so.

“Jennings, Carpenter, Morgan…she is all yours,” Stryker said as he slowly stepped away from her. His eyes were still burning with humorless insanity.

Three of the guards walked in front of her and broke her stare with Stryker. They were looking at her, as ravaging animals look at their prey. “I’m first,” one of the guards said as he came close to her.

It hit Marie, right between the eyes, what was about to happen. She started to fight harder against the restraints but they would not budge. “Go ahead and fight mutant. I like that,” the guard purred.

Marie was desperate. Her hands started to bleed from where the straps were digging into her skin. “Stryker, please don’t do this!” she screamed in terror. Stryker threw his hands up for the guards to stop their advances.

“Tell me where he is and I can make this all go away,” he said so softly.

Marie, wide eyes and terrified stared at Stryker. Tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her dirty face. Her body began to shake with the knowledge of what was to come. There was no stopping it unless she told Stryker what he wanted to know.

Marie swallowed the sob in her throat and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she laid her head back, staring up to the bright light above her head. She heard Stryker sigh loudly.

“Proceed gentlemen,” he said in a somewhat sad voice.

The voices were gone and Marie was left to face the assault upon her body. She could not hide behind Logan or anyone while they raped her. She tried to find a safe place to take herself, but in the end, she felt every push and blow they dealt her. Before unconsciousness took over she heard Stryker’s voice float to her ears, “Is he worth this mutant? Is he really worth all of this?”

“Yes!” was the final thing she whispered before she knew no more.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It had been three weeks since Logan came to Magneto for help. Three weeks of utter hell, surrounded by the people that Logan despised. They were his last line of help though. There was no other place for Logan to turn to.

Magneto had looked at him in surprised when Logan told him the reason he was there. At first, he seemed skeptical as if he thought it was trick. Slowly, his face began to change and he welcomed Logan to the Brotherhood, telling him he would do anything and everything to find Rogue if he kept his end of the bargain. With malice in his very being, Logan shook hands with the one man on earth he wanted to destroy. He had sold his soul to the devil to find the girl that he loved.

Now, three weeks later, he found himself standing outside smoking his cigar. He had to get away from the inhabitants of the cave slash hideout. His blood boiled over everyday as one of them had the nerve to approach him, taunting him with their words of venom. His adamatium claws would beg to be released and feel the blood pool between them. Logan found the strength to reign in his emotions for Marie’s sake.

He heard someone walking up behind him but did not flinch. He could smell her from a mile away and his hands balled into fists.

“I never understood you and the girl’s relationship. Even now, I see what lengths you would go to for her and I still can’t understand it.” Mystique’s voice was silky smooth as she purred into his ear.

“I don’t give a fuck what you don’t understand,” Logan said dangerously.

Mystique just laughed and stood in front of him. Her yellow eyes glowed in the darkness that surrounded them. He could feel the lust falling from her in waves. “What is it about her that has you so caged Wolverine?”

She was trying to bait him, Logan realized that quickly. She wanted a fight or something worse. Mystique got off on that. He would not give her the satisfaction.

“If you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I’ll show you just how caged the Wolverine really is. I left you for dead once. This time, I‘ll make sure the deed is done,” he hissed. Her smile grew and the lust become too much for Logan. He turned and stormed away from her, leaving her to stare at his retreating back.

Logan’s anger boiled over and he released the adamantium claws, digging them into the nearest tree. He swallowed down his furious scream as the pain rocketed his body. It was a release he had needed since he came to this hell.

He pulled out his claws and stared at his bloodied hands. Before he could get a good look at the damage, it began to heal itself. Not even now, when he needed it the most, was he afforded to feel anything but the pain in his heart. It had been too long since Marie was taken from him and the chances of her being alright were slim to none.

Looking around the wooded area, it reminded him of the day he escaped from the lab. How long had it taken him to find himself through the insanity? How long was he lost in the madness of his own mind? What kind of person would he find if he found Marie at all?

Logan shook his head, as if he could shake those questions from his mind. He could not think of that right now. He was too far deep into this to give up now, and as long as she was out there, he would continue looking for her.

He did not know how long he stood out in the dark by himself. Logan felt, rather than seen, Magneto walking towards him. Logan blew out an unsteady breath as the older man stood beside him. They did not speak at first. The darkness and silence of the night blanketed them.

“Xavier has contacted me. He wishes to meet with us on neutral ground,” Magneto said breaking the silence.

Logan had wondered how long it would take Xavier and the others to find out about him siding with Magneto. It was not a meeting that Logan was looking forward to. Through Marie, Xavier and the rest of the X-geeks had become somewhat of a family to him. They had taken him and Marie both in without question when both of them needed someone.

“What did you say,” Logan asked without looking at Magneto.

“I told him that was fine.”

Logan was somewhat surprised by this. He did not expect Magneto to except him going anywhere near Xavier. Magneto saw the surprise in Logan’s face and chuckled.

“I do not think that you will betray me Logan. You have too much to lose.”

Yes, Logan knew he had everything to lose. He remembered telling Magneto why he came to him for help. When he shared that Marie had been taken by government soldiers, and probably taken to a lab, Logan could have sworn he saw something like rage cross the man’s face. It was if Magneto cared about what happened to Marie, or maybe it was just his loathing of humans.

“We leave in fifteen minutes,” he said as he walked away from Logan. This was going to be a long night.

Thirty minutes later, Logan stood beside Magneto. Mystique stood on the other side of her love, as the three watched Xavier approach him. They had agreed to meet in a local park. It was midnight and no one was in sight.

Xavier was accompanied by Scott, Storm and Jean. Their eyes fell on his face and it took everything not to turn away from their betrayed filled stares. The only one that did not look betrayed was Xavier.

The X-men stopped a safe distance away. No one spoke for what seemed like eternity. They all stood there, sizing up the other. Xavier broke the silence with a sigh. “I would like to speak to Logan alone,” he said tiredly. Magneto looked to Logan and smiled. He shook his head yes and he and Mystique walked away.

“Please excuse us,” Xavier said turning to Scott, Storm and Jean. The three X-men looked from Xavier to Logan, as if they expected Logan to attack. Logan wanted to laugh at how easily their alliance had turned. When he had their backs, they trusted him completely. Now, that he was with the Brotherhood, none of them could understand his desperation. He was just another enemy to them.

The three X-men turned and walked away, leaving him and Xavier alone. The professor sat there, staring at Logan with pity in his eyes. “You did not have to do this,” he whispered.

Logan could not look him in the eyes. Instead, he looked at the wheel of Xavier’s chair. Not many times in his life had he felt ashamed, but standing here, under the watchful eye of Xavier, Logan felt ashamed.

“Yes, I did,” Logan said.

“I would have found her eventually Logan. I was searching night and day for her, you know that!”

Logan could hear the anguish in his voice. Xavier felt a failure for not being able to find Marie. Logan knew it and he respected the man all the more for it. His failure showed that he cared for Marie.

“I am a desperate man Xavier. Magneto has connections to the underground mutants, places that you can’t reach. If he can not find her then no one can,” Logan said low.

“What will you do when you find her Logan? You can not possibly think she will go with you. Do you really want her under Magneto’s charge?”

Logan had thought of that very thing over and over. He knew what would happen if they found her. No matter what, he would never allow Marie to be anywhere near Magneto. No, she would go back to the one place that she belongs. She would go back to Xavier’s. He could survive that. Just the knowledge that she was safe and sound would be enough for him he hoped.

“If..if we find her,” Logan hesitated. The thought of being separated from her if she was found was too much, but it was the only way. “If we find her…she will go back with you Xavier,” Logan said defeated. They would forever be separated, fighting on two different sides. Logan would never allow Magneto to get his hands on Marie again. It was the price to pay for saving her.

“And if you never find her, Logan, what will you do then?”

It was a question that he could not even begin to ask himself. Not finding her was not an option. “I will,” he said in a low voice.

“Logan, you are one of us, this is crazy.” Xavier threw his hands up in frustration.

Logan shook his head no, “I have never belonged to you Xavier, nor do I belong to Magneto. I belong to Marie and as long as she is out there, I will do whatever I have to do to find her. If that means selling my soul then so be it. She is the one thing I have done right in my life and I damn well won’t give up on her now. Not when she needs me to be strong. Go back to your home Xavier. Go back and wait for my call to let you know to come get my girl.”

Logan’s emotions were coming to the surface. His vision was going blurry as he tried to focus on Xavier. The men were silent, letting the words soak in. “If I find her first, I will let you know Logan. I care for her too you know.”

“I know you do,” Logan agreed.

Xavier held his hand out for Logan to shake. He hesitated a moment, surprised that that was the end of their meeting. He expected Xavier to give him some ultimatum about coming back to the group, but the man did not. Xavier saw his surprise and gave him a small smile.

“You love her Logan, I realize that now. A man in love will not be able to be stopped until he gets what is his back. Just remember, you will always have a place at my home. I pray that you will be able to find her, but I will be there searching right along with you.”

Logan reached out and grabbed Xavier’s hand. With that, Xavier turned and wheeled back to the X-men. It gave him some comfort to know that Xavier would not stop looking for Marie. They were bound to find her sooner or later with both Magneto’s and Xavier’s knowledge and friends. He felt, for just a moment, that their chances of getting Marie back were starting to look better.

He turned and made his way back to Magneto and Mystique. They were quietly talking when he walked up to them. Magneto looked to him and then to the X-men. “Well I’d say that went pretty smoothly.”

Logan just nodded his head. He began walking back when Magneto’s next words stopped him in his tracks.

“But, what makes you think that I would ever send Rogue back to Xavier if I find her?”

Before Logan could stop himself, he grabbed Magneto around the throat, squeezing. He did not get a good hold before he felt the man’s power over him bare down on his head. Logan hit the ground, as if a great weight was upon him.

“You will never have her!” Logan seethed.

Magneto smiled and shrugged his shoulders, “We will have to see about that my friend.”

Everything is Fading by loganlovesmarie

“I…I don’t remember where I put my purse! The stupid thing has to be here somewhere. I would never leave without it.”

In the silence of the darkness, Marie’s high pitched voice broke through. She sat cross-legged on the cold ground, rocking back and forth. Her shaking hand was scratching the side of her face as she looked around her. Her eyes were wide as tears held on, begging for release.

She had been back in her cell for a couple of hours. How long she had been kept in the white room, she had no clue. Her hold on reality and time snapped before the men were finished. The whole time those men were forcing themselves on her, the Logan in her head screamed at her to let him take control. He begged her to let him take this from her, but she refused. She feared he would tell them where to find the real Logan just to stop them from hurting her.

“Where is my damn purse?” The first of the tears fell as she searched blindly through the dark. Her trembling hand touched nothing but air.

“Darlin’, your purse isn’t here.”

Logan’s soft voice vibrated through her head and she stopped her search. “I never leave home without it,” she said in a childlike voice.

“Don’t do this,” Logan pleaded.

Laughter started bubbling up through her throat and she coughed to keep down. “I have to go to the store Logan. I can’t go without my purse.”

A small part of her, a very small part at this point, understood that what she was saying did not make any sense.

“Rogue…,” Logan’s voice trailed off.

For a moment it was completely silence around her. She could feel the voices in her shifting. It was like feeling a soft breeze on your cheek, yet she felt it in her mind. At first there was nothing, just a tickle.

“Logan?” she whispered in the darkened cell.

There was no answer. For a moment, Marie feared that the collar they had put on her had done something to the voices. At the thought of the collar, Marie felt herself push away from the memory. It would remind her of what else had happened.

“Logan, answer me!” she whispered frantically.

She could feel someone just below the surface, someone waiting to make their presence known. In an instant she knew that it was not Logan. Fear, as thick as fog, closed in on her. Had Logan abandoned her?

“I’m sorry!” she cried.

Calm surrounded her and her tears stopped. Looking into the darkness, seeing nothing, she waited. Thoughts of the collar, her purse, and earlier events melted from her mind. Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath .

“That’s it my dear girl. Keep breathing and listen to my voice.”

Marie’s eyes burst open in surprise. It was a voice that she had not heard in years. Logan had been able to keep this voice from her psyche ever sense he had saved her on Liberty Island. The feel of him connected with her felt weird and she started to fight against him. She had had enough of people being inside of her who weren’t welcome. Anger rushed through her and she rose to her feet.

“Get out of my head!” she growled. Logan would have been proud of that growl.

There was an audible sigh. “I told you this would not work,” Eric said in defeat.

As quietly as a whisper, Logan spoke, “It has to.”

Relief flooded Marie as she heard his voice. He was still there, even if he was in the background.

Eric’s voice relented a little as Logan came more to the surface. Her head began to ache. It always did when two voices in her head came to the surface.

“Please darlin‘, let him help you. I…I can’t in this situation,” Logan said defeated.

“Let him help me? How can he help me!” Marie asked angered.

“I can help, my dear, because I know what it is like to have gone through what you have gone through.”

Marie was brought up short. The anger died away as she thought about what Eric said. “You know this to be true. You have my nightmares,” Eric whispered.

Logan might have kept him from gaining control of her body but the nightmares, Logan could not control. She suffered through many nights of what it was like being in a death camp. She had seen, as if it were happening to her, what all Eric had been through. Waking up with a scream on her lips, it would take Marie several minutes, and the real Logan’s reassurances to help her to remember that it did not happen to her.

“How can you help me?” she whispered.

She felt Logan’s relief and him moving further back to allow Eric room to work. The ache in her head died down and she was thankful of that.

“What has happened to you, my dear, will not be forgotten. I wish I could say that I had the power to take it from you, but I do not. What I can do is help you to deal with it as best you can until you can make it out of this place. They are trying to break you and sadly, they are succeeding. We all feel you slipping away from us and that is why Logan was willing to go to extremes to allow me full control of you. You must trust me.”

Marie snorted, she could not help herself. “Trust you? You tried to kill me and was successful until Logan brought me back! she hissed.

“Nevertheless, you do not have a choice here Marie. You either let me help you or we are all going to fade away as your mind breaks. Do you really want to lose the last piece of him?

His words made her wince. She heard a distance growl in her mind. The Logan in her head did not like the thought of loosing any contact with her, and she agreed with him.

“I’m slipping away Eric,” she whispered.

Marie had never called the voice in her head Magneto. It had always been Eric. It was more personal and not matter what she thought of the real man, the voice in her head was a part of her as Logan was. In moments like this, Marie understood why that was.

“I know my dear, that is why you must allow me to help you.”

Before she could answer him, she heard the footsteps signaling the approaching guards. Her heart began to beat and a strangled sob escaped her lips. She could not endure another night of assaults. Her feet began to slowly move back, as if she could hide in the darkened shadows of her cell. The wall stopped her movements. The jagged edges dug into her back, but she was far to gone to notice the pain.

Marie had forgotten that Eric was so close to the surface. By the time he gained control, it was to late for her to do anything about it. She felt him take hold of her psyche and push her aside.

Marie was surrounded by blackness inside her own mind. She could feel Logan close to her and reached out to touch him. There was a low growl and in front of her, as small light began to grow. She watched in awe as the light began to grow and from within it, something began to take shape. She could make out a shape like that of a person. The light began to dim and standing before her was Logan. Marie let out a small cry and started running towards him. Logan matched her steps with his own. Marie threw herself at him and he caught her in his strong arms. She held on to him as if her life depended on it. His arms felt so warm and safe around her.

“Rogue,” he whispered in her ear.

She could not help but smile. Her fingers dug into his shirt, trying to bring him even closer to her. She had missed his smell, his strength, his everything. “Shhh…I got ya darlin’. You’re safe now.”

His voice was soft and yet it surrounded her every being. Marie had never known that this was possible. She did not realize that the voices in her head could actually be physical being inside her psyche. For the time being, she would not dwell on it too much. She would enjoy this moment for she did not know how long it would last.

Opening her eyes, she met his hazel ones. His hands rose to her cheek and began to caress them. Slowly, Logan reached down and lightly kissed away a stray tear falling from her eye. He leaned his face back, looking deep into her eyes. She felt heat rise in her cheeks and tried to hide her shyness with a smile. She watched as a small smile played on Logan’s lips as well. As if in slow motion, she watched him bring his lips towards hers. She had wanted him to kiss her for so long, and now it was happening. It did not matter to her that it was happening in her head, it felt so real.

He was inches away from her and Marie leaned in to close the gap. As soft as a feather, his lips touched hers. Electricity shot from her lips down to her toes. She felt him throughout her whole being and she begged for more. Her arms tightened around his neck and brought him closer to her, crushing her lips to his. A hunger stirred inside her like none she had ever felt. She was lost in the moment, in Logan.

Logan broke the kiss, but never took his lips away from hers. “Rogue, I’m out there searching for you, you know that don’t you?”

She did not speak, only nodded. The movement caused her lips to rub against his, causing another explosion throughout her body. She tried to start the kiss again, but he held her at arms length. She looked into his eyes and for a split second something passed in them that she did not recognize. She felt a small shift but could not explain it. He was Logan and yet something about him wasn’t. She searched his eyes looking for reassurance but found none. There it was again, the slight shift. Marie waited for the point where she would know that this was Logan, but it didn’t come.

“My next question is very important Rogue. I need you to tell me that you know that I’m out there looking for you. I need you to reassure yourself that I’m looking by telling me how I would find you. Do you know Rogue? Where would I be right now, trying to find you?”

And there it was. Marie face fell, as she pushed the strong arms away from her. How could she be so stupid. She wanted to scream and cry all at once as the realization of what was happening crashed down upon her.

“Rogue, please…I’m so close to losing you. Help me out here.”

“Stop!” she hissed.

“Rogue…” he reached out to her and she slapped his hand away.

Logan’s face was one of shock as he stared at her. Marie’s face was a mask of fury so filled with hatred she began to shake. How could she have allowed this to happen. Her vision began to blur and the face that she longed to touch became distorted.

“Rogue, I’m just trying to help you out here. All you have to do is tell me where the real me would be right now. I just want you to hear yourself say that I am still out there. Your at the edge baby, you ’re about to jump to a place I won’t be able to reach you.”

Again, he reached for her and she backed away from him. His face was still distorted by her tears, and it gave her the separation from him that she needed to figure out what was happening. The truth of it almost made her break completely. Marie let out a laugh of frustration and turned away from him. Her breathing was coming out in short puffs. She heard him take a step towards her and she turned her hardened eyes to look at him. His hand slowly raised for her to take.

“He never calls me Rogue,” she whispered through gritted teeth.

“What?”

“He has NEVER called me Rogue! He hates that name you son of a bitch!” Marie screamed with every ounce of strength she could muster.

She watched as the confusion playing on his face turned to a sadistic smile. The hazel eyes that she loved turned to a green and blue color. The blackness around them began to take on a different shape. Marie felt as if something were holding her down. Her legs and wrists began to feel as if they were in binds. She fought against it, but the feeling did not go away. Her eyes never left the one’s in front of her.

He began to laugh. The sound was foreign to her. It was not the laugh that made her feel as if the whole world was right. His body began to change as well as his face. The strong muscular man that stood before her a few minutes ago changed into someone sitting in a wheelchair. He looked sickly and strong all at once. His body melted into the wheelchair. Gone was Logan’s beautiful face, being replaced by one Marie had never seen. There were surgical cuts on his head, as if he had several different surgeries on his brain. Marie could not help the shutter that ran down her body. Logan’s clothes were replaced by that of a hospital gown.

The man was complete in front of her and Marie felt his blue and green eyes boring into hers. The sadistic smile was gone, replaced by one of shear concentration. She could feel the man trying to penetrate her head. He wanted back in. She had figured out his game and now he was desperately trying to get back in. She fought against him, but he was so strong.

“Oops,” she heard him rasp inside her head.

All at once, the blackness was gone. In it’s place stood a room that she knew without a thought. All around her were the doctors. They were going about their work as if she weren’t there. Stryker stood in front of her, looking very angry. Beside him was the man in the wheelchair. His eyes never moved from her own. He watched her with a stoic look that she wanted to slap from him. He had tried to trick her into telling him where Logan was. She had almost fallen for it.

“Damn it!” Stryker said angrily.

Marie jumped at his outburst. She looked back and forth at the man in the wheelchair and Stryker. Something was familiar about the other man. Marie couldn’t figure it.

As if Stryker heard the questions in her head he said, “Mutant, meet my son.”

Marie gasped. This was the son that Stryker had said was responsible for his wife’s death. With that thought, Marie felt searing, hot pain in her head. She screamed and desperately tried to reach for her head but could not. Her arms and legs were bound. Her body began to convulse under the strain of the pain.

“Jason, stop this at once! Stryker said demanding.

The pain ceased. Her body began to calm down. Marie try to get a hold of her racing heart. It was over, the pain was gone. No one spoke for a moment. Everyone was looking towards Stryker for his next move. He was staring at Marie, trying to figure out where to go from here. She watched him, waiting as well. They had almost found out Logan’s location. She had almost let it slip.

From within her mind, she heard a loud growl. The Logan in her head had gone berserk. It was taking everything that Marie had to keep him from taking control. She had never known him to be this out of control, even after the first time she had touched him. He was fighting his way to the surface and she was desperate to keep him down. He was not thinking straight. She could feel the hatred and anger inside him He had had to watch as they used him to try and pry the information out of Marie. Logan was far too gone to console.

Marie gritted her teeth and shoved Logan down with all that she had. The act alone was enough to make her weak. She stared at Jason’s face and saw a small movement in his eyes. He could feel what was going on inside of her. His two-toned eyes bore into hers.

Stryker leaned in close to Marie. Slowly, she turned her face away from Jason and looked at Stryker. His face was calm and again she was reminded at how easy he could pass for a loving grandfather. She could feel it. This was it. She was at the end of the line with Stryker. Marie did not know how long she had been here, but she knew that Stryker had had enough. For him to bring his son here, told her that there were no more options.

The tears began to flow from her eyes and she shook her head no. Logan began to calm inside of her mind as he listened to what was taking place. The voices inside of her, Logan, Eric and the rest waited with bated breath.

“It would have all been so much easier Mutant. All you had to do was tell us where he was and all of this could have went away,” Stryker said.

He motioned with his hands around the room to indicate what he was saying. Marie looked around her. Everyone was standing in the background watching the exchange. Some of the nurses looked on with sad faces, as if they cared. That look confirmed what Marie had feared. It would all be over soon.

Marie swallowed down her fear and turned towards Stryker again. She would not die a coward. She would face death head on and welcome it. At least when it was over, she would be rid of this place for good. She would be rid of the doctors and the guards. She would be rid of the experiments and the darkened cell. She would be rid of Stryker.

“I’m here Marie.” Logan whispered in her head.

He would be there with her at the end. She closed her eyes and allowed him to surround her. Everything else melted in the background as she felt Logan embrace her.

“Goodbye Mutant,” Stryker said as he stood. “Jason, please finish her.”

His command was soft. Marie heard it but she was beyond caring. All she knew and felt was Logan and his embrace. She clung to him, for she knew that this was the real Logan in her head and not Jason. Whatever was about to happen, she would not care. She was home. She was finally home.

“He loves you as I love you Marie,” Logan whispered. “Don’t ever forget that.”

His words told her that he knew the end was coming. She had always expected him to fight it, but he just held her closer. Even Eric did not fight. They had excepted their fate along with hers.

The blackness around Marie began to shake. She could feel the pressure on her head, so she held Logan tighter. At first the pain was a dull throb, but slowly it began to grow. The blackness began to shake violently with bright white. Marie clenched her eyes shut and tried to fight against the violent attack of her mind. It was only natural.

Logan began to shake in her arms. Her fingernails dug into the fabric of his shirt down to his skin. She held against him with all of her strength. She could hear his breathing speed up in her ears.

“Marie!” he screamed.

His shaking turned violent and she was pushed away from him by the force. She fell to her knees and watched as his body began to shake so fast it was unrecognizable. She reached for him. Standing to her feet, she tried to grab him and was knocked down again. She screamed.

Marie watched horrified as Logan’s body exploded into a cloud of mist. She reached her hand through the mist, searching for him but came up empty.

“LOGAN!” she screamed. Some of the nurses turned away from the girl’s scream. It was an agonizing cry. Stryker stood and watched, a small smile playing on his lips. His son continued to bore into Marie subconscious, killing everything that lived within. Her screams continue to rise in volume as she searched for Logan.

Marie began to feel herself shake. She tried to find something to hold on to in the darkness but there was nothing. She screamed as her whole being began to break, as if it were made from glass. For a moment, she wondered if this is what it felt like to die. She fell to the darkened ground. Her body was convulsing against whatever was happening to her. Her eyes stared straight ahead, not seeing. There was only one thing that passed through her mind at the end. It was of Logan. It was always Logan. In a cloud of mist, her body exploded.

Everyone in the white room looked down at the now still girl. Some of them were ecstatic about what they had just saw. Others, they were horrified. The girl that once would fight them at every turn now lay motionless. She was gone.

Stryker felt relief and disappointment all at once. He was hoping that he could find the information out the easy way, but the mutant had never made it easy. He turned towards one of the Doctors. “Take this thing back where he belongs,” he spat out as he pointed towards Jason. As they wheeled the mutant out, his eyes never left Marie’s still body.

“What about her?” Doctor Langford asked.

Stryker said with a sigh, “Take her to the morgue. We will keep her there for now.”

With that, the guards came forward and unshackled Marie. They picked her up and headed for the morgue. None of them spoke on the way. There was nothing to say.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

“AHHHHHHH,” Logan sat up in bed with a scream. His eyes were wild as they tried to gain control of the situation. He frantically looked around the room to remember where he was. His breaths were coming out in big puffs as sweat slid from his face. His body was shaking as if he were freezing.

He had been dreaming. It had been just a dream, but it had felt so real. He had been with Marie. She had been in his arms. He had been holding her, reassuring her that he was there and that he would protect her. She had clung to him and he to her.

He sat his bared feet on the cold floor, welcoming the feeling as it woke him up. Everything came back to him now. Marie was gone and he had come to Magneto to help find her. It had been six months since she had been taken from him. Six long months of searching and not finding anything.

He stood up and made his way out of the small room. He needed a cigar and some fresh air. He rubbed his hand across his face to wipe away the sweat. The dream had been so real. One minute Marie had been in his arms and the next, he had felt himself being jerked away from her. She had disappeared in a sea of darkness.

He found a large rock to sit on and grabbed his cigar. Putting it in his mouth, he drew a deep puff from it. The cigar helped to calm his nerves a little. He had always had nightmares, as long as he could remember, but this one went beyond a nightmare. He closed his eyes as the cool breeze touched his hot skin.

“Those things will kill you one day.” Logan stiffened as Magneto came forward to stand beside him.

“I’ll take my chances,” Logan said gruffly.

Magneto shook his head in reply. The two men sat in uncomfortable silence for a bit. Neither knew how to start a conversation with the other. Logan chomped on his cigar to keep his mouth shut. He had so many things to say to the other man.

“Bad dream?” Magneto’s soft voice cut through the silence.

Logan looked over at him, disbelief playing on his face. “What? You think I’m gonna open up to you and tell you anything about my damn dreams?”

“Easy Logan. I am not trying to become friends or anything. But, I do know that the one thing you and I have in common are our bad dreams. They haunt us when everything else has died away.”

Logan did not answer. Magneto was right, but tonight it was not one of those dreams. Tonight it was even worse.

“I had a dream about her you know,” Magneto said quietly.

Logan whipped his head around to look at the other man. Magneto’s face was half covered in shadows. His eyes looked straight ahead and for just a moment he looked worried. When he noticed Logan staring at him, his face became a hard mask again.

“So did I,” Logan whispered.

Magneto nodded his head. “I was saving her and she was snatched away from me. Why that should even bother me I have no clue, but it did.” the last part he spoke more to himself than to Logan. For a moment, the man stared out in the darkness looking lost.

Logan swallowed hard. His dream had been like that as well. The two men sat in silence again. The wind blew again, but this time it did nothing to sooth Logan’s soul. It had to mean something that He and Magneto had the same dream about Marie, or was he reading too much into it. Logan wasn’t sure. He turned to ask Magneto about specifics when Mystic stepped out of the shadows.

“Eric, there is a phone call for you,” she said.

Without another word, Magneto stood up and followed Mystic inside. Logan stayed and finished the rest of his cigar. He was so tired and yet he could not sleep. Looking up at the night sky, he again begged God for help. Six months had passed and the chances of her still being alive dwindled everyday. Could that have been what the similar dreams were about? He and Magneto were connected to Marie. Was that her way of saying goodbye?

Logan shook his head frantically, he would not believe it. Not until he had a body.

“Logan, Eric needs to see you now.”

He looked up to see Mystic standing there again, this time summoning him. He took one final pull from his cigar and stood to follow her.

Entering Magneto’s lair, he noticed the man was on the phone writing something on a piece of paper.

“Are you sure about this?” Magneto asked.

There was an inaudible answer on the other end and Magneto nodded his head. Without saying goodbye, Magneto hung up the phone and read what he had written to himself. Logan stood there impatiently waiting on the man to finish.

“I have information about a government facility about forty miles north of here that is said to be a mutant experiment lab. I have the location and we can be there in two hours.”

Logan felt his heart start to race. Could this finally be the one where Marie is? Could he have her in his arms again in a few hours? “Let’s go,” Logan said.

As he walked to his room, he grabbed his cell phone, hitting the speed dial. The phone rang three times before familiar voice answered.

“Be ready, we are moving out. About forty miles north of here.”

“We will be there,” Xavier responded.

Logan waited a few seconds, wanting to say something else but knowing there was nothing to say. Instead, he slowly closed his cell phone and headed towards the only path he knew to head…hopefully one closer to Marie.

 

 

 

 

End Notes:
Soooooo sorry that I haven't updated in forever!! I promise to get the updates out faster. Please review and tell me what ya think!! Thanks
She is Found by loganlovesmarie

BEFORE YOU BEGIN, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THERE IS A PART IN THIS CHAPTER THAT IS KINDS GRAPHIC. I TRIED NOT TO GET TOO GRAPHIC AND I THINK I DID AN OKAY JOB ON IT, BUT I WANTED TO JUST GIVE YOU A LITTLE HEADS UP. THANKS AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

Logan’s fingernails dug into his seat. He hated flying and right now, he was on the verge of vomiting. The brotherhood’s jet was nowhere near as good as the X-Men’s. At least their aircraft could disguise some of the turbulence. This piece of metal crap hit every bump it could find.

Logan slammed his eyes shut. He was tense and waiting for the thing to land. He wanted to get moving quickly. There was no way of knowing if Marie was in the government lab, but he would tear it to it’s core until he found answers. He was so close he could feel it. Only a few more minutes and he might be holding Marie in his arms again.

Logan saw his cell phone light up.

“Yeah?”

“We are right behind you guys. We are not here to fight. If we find mutants, we respect their right to choose who they will leave with…except Rogue. She will come with us.” Logan shut his eyes as he heard Scott’s voice on the other end. “Tell your people not to engage in a fight with us. We all have the same goal here,” Scott finished.

His people? They were not his people. He did what he had to do for Marie, and he would do it again as many times as he had to. Logan looked around him, no, they were definitely not his people. He took a deep breath before speaking, “There won’t be a question of where Rogue goes. She will go home. I know where that is.”

Scott hung the phone up without another response. He felt a little better that the X-Men were behind them. In his mind, their chances looked good with everyone working together. Question was, could they all work together?

“The X-Men are behind us. I called them in to help. They aren’t here to fight. If we find any mutants, they will respect that mutants decision to go with whomever they choose. Except Rogue.”

Logan looked dead straight at Magneto when he spoke the last part. He would hammer that into the man’s head if he had to. She belonged at Xavier’s and he would not let that man get his hands on her. The pain of being separated from her after finding her would be a lot to bear, but it was a choice he had to make for her. Knowing she was okay would be enough to make him feel that his decision to go to Magneto was worth it. Magneto locked eyes with Logan and nodded his head slightly. He was agreeing to the deal. He was agreeing to the X-Men being there.

“Very well.” It was the only response Logan would get.

Sighing, he turned and looked out the window. The landscape below became one hidden in trees. Logan searched desperately for some sign that they were close and was finally rewarded when he noticed a break in the trees. There it was. It was smaller than Logan would have imagined the government lab to be, but there was no way of finding it other than in the air. The building’s location was perfect for keeping whatever was going on inside a secret.

Logan felt his claws itching to come out. He wanted to drive them into something to ease the anger. Could this be where Marie was kept this whole time? Was she down there waiting for him? Blind fury shot through his vision and everything seemed to go red. If she was down there, he would kill everyone responsible. He would do it slowly and without mercy.

There was a jolt and Logan felt the plane grow still. They had landed. At first, he couldn’t move. He feared that it was Magneto holding him in place, not letting him up, but he noticed the man was paying no attention to him. In the back of his mind, Logan knew it was himself that was keeping still. A fear, like Logan had never felt, came over him. What if she wouldn’t be there? What if it was just another wild goose chase. He had been on enough of those to last him for forever. Worse, what if she was dead?

He closed his eyes to get a hold of his running imagination. There were so many “what ifs”, but he would never get his answers if he did not get out of the seat. It wasn’t time to be a pansy. Marie needed him to be strong. If it was proven that she wasn’t at this facility, then he would begin his search again. If it was worse, like she was dead, then he would…no, Logan would not let his mind go there.

Slowly, he got to his feet, making his way out into the cool night air. It was late October and the wind bit at his hot face. He could make out the X-Men walking towards them. There were nine of them, walking together in a line. Their body language showed that they did not trust the Brotherhood. Logan thought that was wise. Though the Brotherhood was outnumbered seven to nine, they still had Magneto on their side. It would not be much of a fight.

Scott came and stood directly across from Logan. His face was stern and the eyes behind his ruby glasses bore into Logan. He slightly dipped his head to show they were there to help. Logan looked at each of the X-Men, most he trained himself. All eyes were on him as Magneto spoke.

“We can do this the easy way, or when can do this the hard way brothers and sisters. If they do have our kind in there, we must work together. If you are not willing to do what it takes to get those mutants out, then get out of our way!”

“We are willing to help. But, there must be an understanding between us. If you so much as make a wrong move that puts any of my teammates in jeopardy, it’s war,” Scott said dangerously.

Magneto just smiled. “Of course Cyclops, I understand.”

“Then let’s do this,” Logan said.

With that, the X-Men and Brotherhood, as one, entered the grounds of the building. Magneto made quick work of the security system surrounding them. Logan waited for some kind of siren to announce an intruder’s presence, but it never came. Looking around, he noticed that there were no guards atop the posts either. The building was totally unguarded outside. Logan swallowed down his unease.

Slowly, the came to a stop under the shadow of the building. “It is best that we split up. Brotherhood, you take the front entrance, X-Men you take the back. We will meet in the middle.”

Everyone shook there heads in understanding of Magneto’s plans. Quietly, the X-Men made there way around the back. Logan watched them go, but soon his attention was brought back to Magneto. He watched the man, with the flick of his wrist, tear the metal door of the hinges. Logan’s body hummed at the powerful man before him.

He entered the darkened building, listening for any sound of approaching footsteps. All was quiet around him. He felt it in his gut, there was something wrong. It was too quiet. Surly by now there would be gunfire and guards everywhere, but there was nothing. He could hear the sound of dripping water coming somewhere ahead of him.

“This way,” Mystique whispered.

Everyone followed the blue woman’s lead as her yellow eyes glowed in the darkness. Logan felt something familiar tickle the back of his mind. Something reaching out to him in the darkness. It started out as a slow drum inside his temple and began to grow. There had been a presence here, but it wasn’t Marie. A memory, something he couldn’t make out, began to play behind his eyes. His heart rate began to speed up as the perspiration fell from his face. He barely could keep his breathing under control. In the darkness around him, he realized that he had been here before. When, he did not know, but he could feel in throughout his entire being.

“Wolverine, what are you doing?” Mystique hissed.

Looking at the others, Logan realized that he had walked a good bit ahead of them. He did not even realize that he had done it. He could feel something pulling him to go forward. Somehow, he knew where he needed to go. He looked at Magneto, pleading with his eyes.

“Go,” Magneto said softly.

Without hesitating, Logan turned and walked towards the end of the corridor. He hurried left and passed different rooms, all of who’s doors were closed. He knew they weren’t the room he was looking for. A small light began to grow up ahead of him. His body began to scream for him to run towards that light, but he slowed his movements instead. He began to listen. There was movement in the lightened room. Quietly, his claws came out. He could hear someone talking. They sounded hysterical and the scent of fear hung in the air like smoke.

Logan stood in the entrance of the room. The white walls were almost blinding. He would take a wild guess that this room was where the experiments happened. As if in answering his question, his eyes fell to the white, padded table in the middle of the room, it’s shackles lay across it.

He took a step into the room and froze. Someone was in the room with him. He could hear there sharp intake of breath. He could smell the fear. Turning, he could see no one. Whoever it was knew he was there and was hiding. Logan brought his claws up to the walls and began to slide them as he walked. Sparks flew around him as the sound of nails to a chalk board cut through the quiet room. There was a cry to Logan’s left and he pounced, grabbing the closet’s door and yanking it away. He looked at the floor and saw someone huddled in a ball. There were shaking uncontrollably and crying out in fear.

“P..please don’t…hurt…me!” they begged.

Anger swelled up in Logan as he reached down and grabbed the person by the hair. He slammed them on the padded table, his claws within inches of their throat. The man began to plead for his life. Logan looked at him, noticing the white lab coat the man wore. The stitched name on the chest read Bruce Littleton.

“What is this place? It‘s been washed clean of bleach, I can smell it…why?” Logan growled.

The man was too scared to answer. He just stared at Logan with wide, fearing eyes. Logan could smell the man urinating on himself.

“I won’t ask again,” he said as one of his claws dug into the man’s neck. Logan watched as the blood began to trickle down his skin. The man let out a strangled sob. He began to fight against Logan’s hold, but that only made the claws go deeper into his skin. Logan had to hold back so he wouldn’t kill the man before he got some information, but die this man would.

“I..please, I have a wife and child!” the man screamed.

His pleas did nothing to sooth the Wolverine within Logan. This man had done something horrible, he could feel it. Through the fear, Logan could smell evil.

“If you hope to have any chance of seeing your family again, tell me what this place is!” Logan commanded.

“It’s…it’s a place where we do experiments. It’s…owned…owned by the government, but…what we do here…please let me go!” the man begged.

“What. Kind. Of. Experiments.” Logan said through clenched teeth.

His control was beginning to wane. Pretty soon, the man would not be able to control the beast. Logan was beginning to lose himself in the anger.

“You already know,” the man whispered.

Logan picked the man up and slammed him back down on the table. The wind was temporarily knocked out of him and he coughed to get a breath. Logan picked him up and threw him against the wall. The man landed in a heap on the floor. He did not have to time think before Logan picked him up again, holding him by his throat. His feet dangled in the air as he fought against Logan’s hand.

“Where…are…they?” Logan growled.

The man could not speak. His eyes were beginning to grow glassy. Logan watched as the man picked up a shaky hand and pointed below them. Logan dropped him and the man breathed in a gulp of air.

“They are right below us on the next floor,” Logan said into his mic.

“We’re on it,” Mystique spoke back.

Logan took his cell phone out of his back pocket. It was the only way to communicate with the X-Men. Scott picked up and listened to what Logan said. Hanging up, the X-Men took off to the floor beneath them.

Logan grabbed the man by the collar of his coat and dragged him to his feet. Without being gentle, Logan escorted the man to the darkened hall. They made their way to the stairs and below they went. The man stumbled a few times but Logan kept him on his feet.

The smell of filth assaulted his senses and Logan had to keep from gagging. He could smell something worse than filth. He could smell decomposing flesh. His hands became tighter on the man’s collar as they walked into the corridor. The Brotherhood and X-Men were already there making nice work of the cell doors. Logan watched, but nothing happened. There was no sign of any mutants from Logan’s view and he wondered if it was too late. Both the Brotherhood and X-Men stood back.

Slowly, a small head peaked out. The boy could have been no older than six and his wide eyes took in the scene around him. He was dressed in nothing more than a thin hospital gown. He noticed the man in Logan’s grasps and he began to shake. Tears streamed down his frightened face as he scrambled back into his cell. Logan’s anger was to his boiling point as he roughly pushed the man out of view.

“Get them out of here!” Logan yelled from the shadows of the stairs.

One by one, the mutants began to clear out of their cells, following the others to safety. The man began to weep. His cries filled the air around Logan, but he did not let up his hold. This man was somehow responsible for those mutants and the state they were in. He could see the fear in the kid’s eyes when he looked at the man. Someone that young should never know that kind of fear.

“Scott,” Logan yelled.

There was a pause and then Scott answered back, “Yeah?”

“Is…is she there?”

Logan waited, his breath caught in his throat. He had not smelt her, but that did not mean anything. It was hard to smell anything over the dirty bodies and rotting flesh. She could still be there somewhere.

“No Logan! She isn’t here.” Logan could hear the defeat in Scott’s voice.

He wanted to crumble right there in front of the man he held. His world came crashing down on his head. He really thought that this would be where she was. His eyes were blinking fast trying to comprehend the fact that he was no more closer to her than he was six months ago. Again, she was lost to him. His feet came out from underneath him and he fell to his knees, taking the man with him.

“She’s not here,” he whispered to himself over and over.

“Please, can I go now!” the man begged.

Logan’s eyes hardened as he looked at the man before him. He wanted all of the mutants to come home, dead or alive. He would not leave any of them in this hell. For Marie, he would bring every last one of them home.

“Where are the others? Where are the bodies of the dead?

“They are in the…morgue, I…it’s in a room two floors…down,” the man struggled to say.

“Take me,” Logan said dangerously low.

They began to descend down into more darkness and something struck Logan. There were no other signs of anyone else in the facility. There were no guards, doctors, no one.

“Where is everyone?” Logan asked.

“They…they left a day ago.”

“Why did they leave you?”

“T…to clean…up,” the man whispered.

Logan grabbed him and shoved him into the wall hard. The man cried out in pain as his eyes grew wide. He stared at Logan and waited for his life to finally end. Logan studied him for a moment. None of this made sense. Why leave in the first place? Did they know that their facility had been found out? He threw the man in front of him. He hit the ground hard and scramble to his feet.

“Move!” Logan screamed.

The man grabbed the wall for support and moved on into the darkened hallway. The stench grew two fold as Logan made his way down the hall. He could feel the bile rise in his throat as the tears stung his eyes. Not even his healing ability could keep the vomit down.

Logan had less than a second to grab onto the man and turn his head. For the first time since Logan could remember, he threw up. Tears streamed down his face as he thought of what was down here. The man was also crying, but not for the dead. No, he was crying for his own life.

“Where are they?” Logan choked out.

“Th…there,” the man said pointing to the room ahead.

They made there way over to the door as Logan gain control of his stomach. The man took out a set of keys and with shaking hands tried to open the latch. His hands were shaking so bad that the keys fell to the ground. He let out a scared cry, waiting for Logan to pummel him. It never came.

“Pick them up,” Logan growled.

The man did as he was told and finally got the key in the lock. As the door was opened, the small light from the hall cast light into the room. Logan’s heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. For a moment, no matter how much he hated the son of a bitch, he was glad Magneto was not here to see this. The only comparison he could find to explain what was before him was pictures he had seen of the holocaust and what they did to their dead.

“My God,” Logan whispered.

They were everywhere, packed on top of one another. Bodies of dead mutants, some too decomposed to recognize. Logan felt the bile rise back up and fought it with all the strength he had left. How would he get these bodies home? There were more than he thought there would be. The air was kicked out of him as his eyes roamed the room. What kind of person could do such a thing. He had done a lot of horrible things in his life, but this was evil to the purest.

Logan turned the man around to look at him and held his claws up to his throat again. The rage he felt was as potent as the smell of decay. “Who is responsible for this?” Logan said with what little voice he had left.

The man did not answer. His eyes kept looking back at the room, as if he had never seen it before.

“I said, who’s…” Logan began but suddenly stopped.

All the color slowly drained from Logan’s face. It was faint and almost nonexistent, yet Logan could hear it. He slowly turned his eyes to look into the horrible room and desperately searched around. The sound was gone and Logan only feared that he had been hearing things. He turned his attention back to the man in front of him and tried to speak again. Before he could utter a word, he heard it again. This time, Logan was sure of what he heard.

He stepped into the room, dragging the man in with him. The man began to vomit, but Logan paid him no attention. He searched for where the sound was coming from. The darkness was no match for his heightened eyesight. He took another step towards the bodies and then it hit him. Like a bolt of lightening it hit him square in his face and all of the breath was knocked away from him. His legs became like jelly and he almost hit the ground, but he kept himself upright.

“Marie,” he whispered.

Her scent was masked in that of death, but he could smell it nonetheless. It was the moment he had been waiting for, but another thought overtook him. He was standing in the morgue and he could smell her.

“Oh God no,” he pleaded.

He let go of the man as he hurried towards the bodies. In his search, he never heard the man run out of the room and into a waiting Sabretooth. The man’s screams were drowned out as Logan’s only thought was of Marie. At the same time as the man was being gutted, Logan noticed a small figure in the corner. It was the place where the heartbeat was coming from. Logan was not a praying man, but that was all that he did as he ran to the body.

She was laying on her stomach, facing the opposite wall. Slowly Logan got to his knees and lightly touched the body. Marie’s scent grew stronger and Logan let out a strangled sob as he gently grabbed her, bringing her to his chest. His hands worked swiftly as he moved the hair back from her face. She was so tiny and the bruises were everywhere, yet through the filth and the death her scent called to him. His shaking fingers touched her neck and there was the faintest hint of a heartbeat, but a heartbeat was there.

Without another thought, Logan removed his right glove with his teeth and lightly touched Marie’s cheek. He closed his eyes, willing his life to pour into her. Just like at the Statue of Liberty, nothing happened.

“No!” Logan yelled.

He tried again, this time pressing her face harder and still nothing happened. He felt nothing but cold skin and his wide eyes searched her face. He hardly recognized her. Why would her mutation not work? He held her close and whispered her name over and over again.

“I got you. You’re safe now Marie. I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you again.” he whispered.

He heard someone at the doorway and looked up to see Sabretooth covered in blood. The man’s black eyes stared down at the girl in his arms. For a moment, Logan saw a kind of sadness cross his features but it was there and gone too fast.

“Is that her?” Sabretooth’s deep voice asked. Logan could not answer him, but shook his head yes. It was her. He had finally found her.

“We have to go,” he said before walking away from the room.”

As softly as he could, Logan picked Marie up into his arms. He held her against him, not caring about the horrible smell and only concentrating on the smell that was Marie. He allowed it to flow all around him. As he turned to leave, he silently made a promise to return for the other bodies. They deserved a proper burial.

Logan half ran, half walked through the halls, trying to remember where the exits were. He had to get Marie to Jean and fast. She would know what to do for her. It did not go unnoticed by Logan that Marie felt weightless. Even in the darkness, the bruises were everywhere.

“I’m gonna make it all better darlin’, I promise. I’m gonna make it all better,” Logan said through a choked sob.

As if a beacon was calling a lost ship home, Logan saw the exit up ahead of them. He began to run, trying to hold Marie as firmly to him as he could. The night air hit them, and he realized that Marie had little to nothing on. That made him run faster to get her out of the cold.

He could see the Blackbird up ahead. It was hidden by a group of trees about fifty yards away. The X-Men were loading some of the mutants onto their plane. Logan could barely make out Scott’s profile as he ran harder.

“JEAN!” Logan screamed with all the force that he had. He was twenty yards away from them and they all looked up, clearly hearing his scream.

The red headed doctor took a couple of steps towards Logan. Her face shown her confusion as she tried to make out what was in his arms. She heard the desperation his in scream and her walking turned into a run. She was closing the gap towards Logan.

“Logan, what on earth,” she panted as she got close to him. Her breath stopped in her throat as she could make out a person in his arms. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

“Jean, help me. It’s…it’s Rogue,” he barely spoke.

Jean’s wide eyes met his. She was stunned into silence. For a moment, Logan thought that he would have to show her proof, but then the doctor in her took over.

“Follow me,” she commanded.

Logan did as she asked. As they made their way to the Blackbird, Scott and the others started gathering around them. There were questions, one after the other, but Logan ignored them all. He climbed onto the plane, as he made his way towards the back to where the makeshift med-bay was. There were several mutants lying on stretchers, needing attention. Kitty and Hank worked as fast as they could, making each mutant as comfortable as possible.

“Put her right here Logan,” Jean said.

As softly as he could, he laid Marie down on one of the stretchers. In the brightness of the jet, he was able to see her completely now. What he saw made his stomach turn. Lying before him was only a shell of a human being. Her skin was black and blue and nothing but bone. Logan let the tears fall from his eyes. He did not care that he was the mighty Wolverine and that he wasn’t suppose to cry. Let the people say what they wanted. Marie had been hurt badly.

He felt completely helpless as he watched Jean hook an oxygen mask up to Marie. She started an IV and the fluid started running as fast as was safe to do so. She began to hook Marie up to a monitor to watch the heartbeat. It was there, but very faint.

“I tried to touch her, but it didn’t work,” Logan said low.

Jean never looked up, only shaking her head in acknowledgement. “We will deal with that later. What’s important right now is getting fluids into her.”

“What’s going on here?” Scott said coming up to stand beside Logan.

No one answered his question. No one had to. One look at Logan and one look at the girl on the table told him all that he needed to know. He felt himself go into shock as he finally understood why Logan was on the Blackbird.

“Rogue?,” he said loudly.

That was all it took for every X-Men to look over at the girl on the table. No one said a word and the silence was so that you could have heard a pin drop. Their comrade, their sister had finally been found.

“Is it really her?” Logan looked over at Jubilation Lee as her watery smile shown through. She was slowly walking towards her best friend, but Scott stopped her.

“Guys, I need room to work here. I have to get her stable and then the questions can start,” Jean said not looking away from her patient.

Logan wasn’t going to move. He stayed where he was, watching his girl. He held on to her scent like it was his lifeline. Her heartbeat could be heard now through the monitor and he begged it to speed up. He begged Marie to be okay. He stayed out of the way, but he did not take his eyes away from her battered face.

“Logan, it is time to go!” Then, reality came crashing down before him. He slowly turned to see Magneto standing at the opening to the Blackbird. His eyes stared past Logan to Marie. Pity showed on the man’s face as he looked at her.

He couldn’t leave Marie now, not ever. He felt anger building up inside of him, but then he remembered the promise. Magneto had helped him find her and in doing so, he promised the man his life. Besides, if Logan did not go with him, Magneto would not hesitate to tear this jet apart and everyone in it…including Marie. No, he did what he came to do. He found her and hopefully he saved her.

Logan turned his haunted eyes back to Marie and felt a pain that matched the one when he lost her the first time. He was having to say goodbye to her again. The only comfort he had was that she was with the X-Men this time. Logan stayed frozen in place. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave her.

“Logan, please! If you don’t go with him, there is no telling what he will do. I swear to you, on my life, I will take care of her. Please…” Scott whispered.

Logan felt numb as he looked at the younger man. He stared at Scott for a moment and saw the concern in his face. Looking around, he saw the rest of the X-Men. They were watching him closely to see if they should get ready for a fight. They would stand behind him if he decided to defy Magneto, but at what cost? He swallowed hard and looked back at the only person who ever really mattered to him.

Swallowing the lump in his throat and not bothering to wipe the tears on his face, he walked slowly towards Marie. Leaning down towards her forehead, his lips gently met her cool skin. He squeezed his eyes shut as the severity of the situation hit him. He had found her and now he was walking away. He silently begged for her to wake up just so he could see those big, brown eyes. She remained unmoved.

“Fight for me Marie, don’t give up. I swear to you no matter what I have to do, I will see you soon. I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

With those final words, Logan straightened up and slowly walked away from Marie. He did not have the strength to look back one final time.

 

 

 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! SEE YOU ARE MAKING ME BEG!! LOL

The Pain Intensifies by loganlovesmarie

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story that even remotely relates to Xmen. Everyone knows who owns them and unfortunately it is not yours truly! I make no profit off of this story and only write for my (and hopefully your) enjoyment!

 

Okay people, sorry it has taken me forever to get the next chapter out. I have no excuse so please don’t kill me!! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, even thought it’s ANGST galore, it was still fun! Now, on with the show…

 

In the darkest reaches of a cave sat a man in complete silence. His hands intertwined in the bushy locks of his hair pulling it gently. On his person, he wore only a white shirt and jeans. It had been days since he had laid his head down to sleep, but every time his eyes closed, there was only one face he saw. She was alive, but no closer to him than when she was lost. The only comfort he gained was in the knowledge that she lived. It was all that mattered.

Logan raised his head, looking around his shabby room. Littered on the floor, around his feet, were empty bottles of liquor. He had tried to drown himself in booze, only to have his healing ability kick in and wipe any chances of oblivion away. He was forced to deal with emotions that were foreign to him, emotions that he had never faced before.

It had been two months since he had last seen her, touched her. Two months of living under the same roof as a man that he both felt gratitude for and loathed. He found it funny how those two emotions could exist at the same time. Magneto had held his end of the deal. He had found Marie and in doing so, he sealed Logan’s fate to his. The things Logan had been made to do in these two months were too horrible for even Logan to dwell on.

The first man Logan had been made to torture came easily. He had had too much built up inside of him and this man was a way to get it all out. It eased Logan’s mind, a little, knowing the truth about who this man was and what he did. This man, this monster, was the same kind of filth that had taken Marie. Magneto needed information on a new facility, which was rumored to be holding more mutants. Logan had no problems getting what he wanted and Magneto’s army grew by a dozen.

Even now, Logan could hear the new recruits training. There were a few who didn’t have the will to fight, but on the whole, the new members of the Brotherhood embraced their new leader and his ideas of a perfect society. Logan, for his part, stayed out of the way. He stayed in the shadows, only coming to the light when Magneto called him.

Logan knew it was coming sooner or later. One day, probably soon, Magneto would give him the responsibility of training the new recruits on how to kill. Sure, he had Victor, but Logan knew that Magneto wanted him to be the one to teach. Logan wasn’t sure if he could do that yet.

His life in the Brotherhood was misery, but he had no choice. Every moment of every day, he wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to see her face and touch her hair. There was a small part of him that wanted to torture himself for his decision that landed him where he was. That small part would whisper to him that he didn’t even know if she had survived. The last time he had seen her, she was on death’s door. Logan knew though. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was alive and well. His heart would feel it if she were not in the this world anymore.

He stood from his bed, kicking the empty bottles out of his way. He began pacing back and forth in the small room, his mind trying to figure out a way to see her. If he could just talk to her, he could breath a little easier. Would she be angry with him for joining the Brotherhood? Would she understand or would she hate him for his decision? Would she see that, to him, there was no other way?

Before he knew it, he was headed outside into the dark hallway. No one was around as everyone was outside in training. It would be the perfect time to get Magneto alone and maybe with a little bribery himself, he would be able to see or talk to Marie in a couple of hours. Logan was not one for begging, but he would do what he must like he always did.

He had learned the way to Magneto’s lair easily. His heightened eyesight helped out in that department. There was not a corner of this cave that he had not familiarized himself with. Just in case he ever needed a quick escape, he had made himself ready for anything. His footsteps echoed off the black stones surrounding him. It was a sound of determination, of resolve.

Logan did not take the time to knock, but entered without being told to. He might be at the mercy of Magneto, but he wouldn’t allow the man to treat him like a child. To his great satisfaction, Magneto was sitting behind his desk quietly talking to Mystique. At the sight of that woman, Logan felt his claws beg for release. He had to withstand her advances and the woman had gone too far on most occasions. He hated that she had knowledge of how he felt about Marie and had used her several times to try and seduce him. She had barely made it out of his room with her life.

Magneto looked up, his face not disguising his surprise. Mystique stood from where she was seated on his desk, a seductive smile plastered to her face. Logan had to calm himself, reminding himself why he was here. If he wanted Magneto to agree to his idea, he had to play nice with the bitch for just a few moments.

“Ah, Logan, just the man I wanted to see,” Magneto said as he stood.

“I need to speak with you…alone,” he said to the man, giving Mystique a pointed stare.

Her smile grew bigger, Logan’s anger grew ever more strong. She turned her yellow eyes towards the man beside her, her smile never falling.

“Mystique, dear, would you mind giving us a few moments. Please, go and see how our new additions are getting along in their training,” Magneto said.

She hesitated a moment, but then did as he had asked. Logan felt the tension in his body ease a bit after she was out of eyesight. He really did hate that bitch.

“Please, come in. What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?”

Logan braced himself, walking towards the other man to stand before him. This was the moment of truth. Magneto, again, held all the cards. It had crossed Logan’s mind a time or two about just leaving. He had thought about finding the perfect moment and running far away from this place. He thought about going back to Xavier’s, back to Marie, but he feared Magneto would retaliate. There were not many people that crossed him and lived to tell about it. Logan, for all the strength he had, was a mere insect under Magneto’s shoes. So, he chose to stay and live this life that he brought upon himself. It was for her, it always was for her.

“I’ve done everything that you’ve asked me to do since I’ve been here, do you agree?” Logan said slowly.

Magneto watched him skeptically, as if he wasn’t sure where Logan was going with this.

“Yes, you have. I hate to admit it, but I’m somewhat surprised. You’ve done well by me Logan, I can’t say otherwise.”

Logan took a deep breath. It was the answer that he was praying for. If Magneto was reminded that Logan had played by his rules, maybe he would be more willing to give Logan what he wanted.

“I want to see her, Magneto. I have to see her,” he said softly.

It took only a second for the recognition to light Magneto’s eyes. Logan did not have to say her name for the man to understand who he was talking about. The seconds turned into minutes without a word from Magneto. His eyes stared at Logan, boring into him. Logan wasn’t sure if he was angered, his face was void of all emotions.

“You know I can’t let that happen,” he finally said.

“Why?’ Logan said angrily.

“And the moment you saw her, then what? Would you be able to turn and walk away again? The last time I thought I was going to have to drag you off that plane myself! What would it do for you anyway?” Magneto said.

“I have done everything that you’ve asked of me! I ask one simple thing from you. I just want to see her and know that she’s fine. I gave my loyalty to you. You held up your end and now you have to trust me to hold up mine!” Logan seethed.

“Trust you? You run a few errands for me, played nice with my family and stayed put and you think that’s enough for me to trust you?”

Logan was at a loss for words. What on earth made him think that Magneto would ever trust him. Logan, for his part, didn’t trust the man before him as far as he could throw him. It was just the opposite, he trusted him less now than he did before this entire nightmare happened. The air around them grew colder, biting at Logan’s face. He could feel the man’s anger rising, seeping into his Adamantium.

“What if it was neutral ground? What if you came with me, you and whoever else you wanted to bring. You would be there, see everything!” Logan said desperately.

Magneto chuckled lightly, “I thought you said you wouldn’t let me near her.”

Logan’s face grew dark, his anger rising making the hair on the back of his neck rise.

“You won’t get near her, but you can be there to make sure I come back,” he said darkly.

Magneto hesitated, looking as if he were thinking it over. For just a moment, Logan let himself hope.

“And if I agree to accompany you with this idiotic plan, what’s in it for me?”

Again, Logan had hoped for just this moment. He had something that Magneto wanted and that was his talent. He would use it any way he could to get to Marie.

“If you allow me to see her, I’ll train these little brats for you. I’ll make them the into the soldiers that leave only destruction in their paths. You want your war, I’ll give you the killing machines to make it happen!”

As if a light had been turned on the darkened room, Magneto’s face lit up. It was the answer he had been waiting for since he had rescued the mutants. Logan was sickened by what he had just agreed to, but he was more desperate to see Marie than ever.

“You swear, on her life?” Magneto asked quietly.

Logan sighed, feeling the good within him break away, “I swear.”

Magneto nodded his head once.. Turning, he spoke over his shoulder to Logan, “I will make the phone call to Charles. Be ready in one hour.”

To his word, Logan, Magneto, Victor and Mystique were driving in the night. He had no clue to where they were going, nor did he care. His whole mindset was on seeing Marie’s angelic face. He wouldn’t dwell on the chance that she would hate him. He wouldn’t let himself go down that road.

Inside the car, not a word was spoken. Mystique was behind the wheel, Magneto sitting beside her in the passenger seat, which left Logan and Victor in the back. To be near him, Logan wanted to claw the skin right off his body, but he kept himself in control. For Victor’s part, he kept his distance and body out of Logan’s path.

The car came to a stop. Logan stilled his racing heart, taking a breath and releasing it. He could see that they were in a local park. It would be the neutral site. Neither men trusted the other to step foot on their property. Logan didn’t care where it took place as long as Marie was there.

“Remember what I’ve said Logan. I will not hesitate to take action if the need arises.”

Magneto’s voice was soft, but his words were loud and clear. It was the reason he had brought his best fighters. If Logan tried anything, everyone here would be in danger, especially Marie. Logan shook his head in understanding, not trusting his voice to speak.

His hand shook as he grabbed the door handle. He had to get a hold of himself for fear of his actions scaring Marie. He was always so cool and calm, but right now he felt anything but. The Wolverine within him was of no help. He was completely quiet, waiting for the moment that was about to happen. All that was left was the man.

Logan took a step out of the car, his eyes trained before him. He almost faltered as he watched the driver’s side door open to Xavier’s car. The face looking back at him was not Marie’s, but an angered Scott. He watched the man walk to the passenger side door and open it. One of the back doors came open and Jean stepped out. She went to the trunk, grabbing Xavier’s wheelchair. Once it was in place, Logan watched Xavier emerge. Storm was the next to exit the vehicle and once all were out, they proceeded to walk towards Logan.

“We will stay here, Logan. Remember, we are watching,” Magneto said behind him.

Logan didn’t respond as he took the steps towards the Xmen. It was not lost on him that Marie was missing. The thought that something was wrong was almost too much. Logan’s hands began to sweat as his heart beat faster than it should. Something was wrong. Where was she?

When Logan was only a few feet away from the others, they came to a stop. Xavier sat before him, his face a mixture of sadness and pity. Something had happened to Marie, he could feel it. The strength went out from his legs and he almost hit the ground. He made himself stand before these people, their faces mirroring Xavier’s.

“Chuck…” Logan said in a harsh whisper, as if his throat was parched.

Xavier held his hands up, silencing Logan’s next sentence. He was grateful, for he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to talk anymore.

“Logan, it’s good to see you,” Xavier said softly.

“Where?” Logan said, but his voice failed again.

“She’s here Logan, but there is something you must know first.”

Xavier hesitated, letting this sink in. Many things flew through Logan’s mind in the seconds that passed. What was happening? Was Marie so angry with him that she was being made to do this? Was there something physically wrong with her, or maybe mentally? As the questions kept coming, Logan felt a sickness in the pit of his stomach.

“Just let me see her, please!,” Logan said.

“Logan, you need to listen to me for just a moment…” Xavier began.

“I don’t care what’s happened, I just want to see her,” he said angrily. “Rogue! Rogue, please let me explain,” Logan screamed, taking a step towards Xavier’s car.

“Logan…”

He didn’t stop to respond. His instincts took over and he knew that she was close. There was a shadow in the window and every fiber of his being was telling him it was her. With swift movements, Logan sidestepped Scott and before him was the car. He could hear Xavier calling out to him, but he didn’t care. He would not stop until she was in his arms. He wouldn’t stop until she understood everything that he had done for her.

“Logan, we need to discuss this!” Xavier called out to him.

“There’s nothing to discuss. If anything, I will discuss it with her,” Logan called over his shoulder.

He was only feet away from the car and the shadow inside moved. It was enough to give him the strength to reach out and grab the door handle. Before he could retch it open, Xavier spoke, his words bringing him to his knees this time.

“Logan, she will not remember you!”

Time stood still as Logan fell to his knees. The impact of what Xavier had just told him was enough to bring him down. Marie, his Marie would not remember him? What in God’s name did that mean? Logan’s eyes stared at the shadow before him, it’s movements completely stopped. Over the pounding of his head, he heard Xavier’s wheelchair right behind him. A hand gently touched his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“I realized the night that we took her back that something was wrong. When I entered her mind, there was nothing there. I was fearful at first that we had been too late, but she awoke three days later. Our fears were confirmed after that. Rogue did not remember anyone,” Xavier said sadly.

Logan let out a small groan. He slammed his eyes shut, willing the tears to go away. His hand squeezed the door handle so hard it began to buckle under the weight. His eyes opened, looking ahead, unseeing. The severity of what Xavier was telling him was enough to break the strength he had.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” Logan whispered.

Xavier sighed, “I didn’t know how.”

“Is she in there?”

“Yes. At first, when Magneto called me, I didn’t think it was a good idea, but, I thought that maybe seeing you would trigger something and I knew you deserved the truth after everything you’ve done for her. Logan, I have tried everything to rebuild what was lost, but nothing has worked.”

Logan took a few breaths, calming his nerves. Slowly, he stood and turned towards the man behind him. Scott, Jean and Storm were standing behind Xavier, their faces showing their sadness. He ignored it as best he could. Again, Marie was all that mattered here.

“I want to see her,” Logan said at last.

Xavier looked at Jean and nodded his head. Logan kept his eyes trained to the red-headed doctor as she went around to the other side of the car. Logan stilled himself as the door was opened and Jean spoke softly. At first, he wasn’t sure if Marie would get out. It took some persuading on Jean’s part and Logan couldn’t help the gut-retching feeling that produced within him.

Slowly, a head emerged and the signature stripe of white against brown hair could be seen. Logan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as his first vision of Marie surfaced. It was the first time he had seen her, really seen her, since she had been taken away from him.

The first thing that he saw was how tired she looked, as if she hadn’t slept in days. Large bags were evident under her eyes. She rounded the car with Jean guiding her. Logan stared, not daring to take his eyes off of her. She looked so small, so fragile. The weight that she had lost was visible. She looked as though she could be crushed with just a hug. Still, through it all she was so beautiful.

She stopped in front of him and it didn’t go unnoticed that it was a wide space between them. Her eyes had not yet moved up to look at him, but he wouldn’t hurry her. Xavier wheeled closer to Marie, trying to get her attention. She kept her eyes trained to Logan’s boots, not even looking up for Xavier.

“Rogue, I’d like you to meet a friend of ours. This is Logan,” Xavier spoke.

Logan’s face crumbled before he could stop it. No one seemed to notice and he controlled himself, his face going stone. To hear Xavier have to introduce him was beyond his comprehension. Marie turned her head slightly, her attention going towards Xavier. He smiled a warm smile, letting her know it was okay. Jean took a step back, giving Marie a little room. To Logan, it was if they rehearsed their movements around her, like a dance.

Slowly, Marie lifted her eyes from Logan’s boots to his chest and upward. The moment their eyes met, Logan felt the world stand still. Her eyes, they hadn’t changed a bit. Her doe-like eyes watched him, hiding within them what she was really thinking. He could not read her at all and it was something he wasn’t used to. He could always read his Marie.

“We will give you two a minute,” Xavier said.

Neither looked away from the other as the four moved away. There was only silence and the overwhelming scent that was Marie. Her eyes became curious as she looked at each part of Logan’s face. He stood stock still, allowing her to roam. His entire being was captured on her eyes.

“Do…do you remember me?” he whispered.

A crease formed in Marie’s forehead, as if trying to remember something. Hope swelled within Logan. Maybe their bond was strong enough to penetrate whatever had taken her memory. To his amazement, Marie took a step towards him, thinning the distance. Logan waited, praying.

“No,” she said in a small voice.

He felt a crushing blow, but kept his face unreadable. His eyes on the other hand must have showed everything, because sadness lit Marie’s face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Logan forced a small smile to his face, even though he felt anything but happy. He did it for her.

“That’s okay. I’ll remind you however long it takes,” he said.

“It’s like being in a fog. I can’t see past what’s right in front of me,” Marie said sadly.

Logan knew all too well that feeling. He had lived it everyday since waking up from having his memories taken away. He had known that feeling up until the moment this slip of a girl had stowed away in the back of his truck. He desperately wanted to tell her that, but now was not the time. He had experience in this and it would overwhelm her if he confessed everything to her tonight.

“I-I’m Logan,” he said as he slowly held his hand out.

Marie looked from his face down to his hand. She hesitated, looking as if she wasn’t sure of what to do. He would give her a few more seconds and then drop his hand. He didn’t want to push her. Slowly, she placed her tiny hand inside his giant one. The sensation was more than he could ever have hoped for and it was almost his undoing.

Looking at the small hand in his, he noticed something What met his skin was not the fabric of a glove, but Marie’s own skin. His head shot up, looking over towards Xavier.

“We aren’t sure yet, Logan. I’m still doing tests,” Jean said. Logan noticed tears in the woman’s eyes.

He looked back down at the joined hands, his thumb absently rubbing her. Marie was staring as well, the crease back in place on her forehead.

“H-how do we know each other?” Marie asked in a child-like voice.

Logan inhaled, breathing in her scent, something that he had truly missed. Their hands remained linked. He never wanted to let her go.

‘You’re my everything,’ a voice in his head said. Logan wanted to say it, but how would she take that? What if it backfired?

“You’re my best friend,” he said instead.

She looked up at him, her eyes showing her innocence and loss. Logan took a chance and stepped closer to her. It was the wrong move as she jerked her hand away, taking a step back. Slowly, Logan raised his hands, showing her he wouldn’t hurt her.

“You’re safe, Marie,” he whispered gently.

“Marie?” she said in confusion.

Logan wanted to kick himself. He was the only one that knew that name and this was obviously the first she had heard of it. Marie took another step away from him and Logan became desperate.

“Please, don’t,” he begged.

Marie stopped, watching him intently. He could see the mistrust in her eyes. She didn’t know him, therefore had absolutely no trust in him. The Marie that he remembered wasn’t there at the moment and he would have to handle this girl delicately.

“Why did you call me that?” she asked skeptically.

As he opened his mouth to answer, another voice spoke up in the distance.

“Logan, it’s time.”

Logan couldn’t’ stop the growl before it fell from his mouth. Marie’s eyes went wide and to his horror, she walked backwards away from him without stopping.

“Please, don’t walk away,” he said as softly as he could.

“Logan, it’s time to go…Now!” Magneto said with more authority.

“Hold on one fucking minute!” Logan screamed before he could stop himself.

He wished he had missed the flinch he had caused in Marie, but it was there for everyone to see. It was the driving wedge between them and the chance with her was all but taken from him. She turned from him, walking towards Xavier.

“I want to go home,” she said to the man.

Logan took a couple of steps towards them, his desperation going into overdrive. She wanted to get away from him. His Marie wanted to be as far away from him as she could get. He had seen the fear in her eyes and it killed him to know that she was frightened of him. He would never lay a hand on her head to harm her, a piece of her deep down had to know that.

“Rogue, please don’t leave just yet,” he said desperately.

“Logan, we made a deal!” Magneto said, taking a step towards where they were standing.

All the blood drained to Logan’s face. The beast within him was starting to take control and soon, he would not be able to stop the Wolverine. Xavier could see it and wheeled towards Logan. Through the fire-red haze of his vision, Logan wasn’t aware of his mentor’s presence. His only thought was how many ways he could gut Magneto.

“Logan, now is not the time to lose control of this situation. Rogue is in a fragile state and to be subjected to violence will do more damage than I can repair. Please, think of her right now!” Xavier said worriedly.

It was enough to quench Logan’s bloodlust. The red haze disappeared from his sight, leaving the dead of night in it’s wake. His eyes roamed to the people surrounding him, landing on Magneto. His hate for him grew as nothing he had ever known. Xavier placed his hand on Logan’s arm, squeezing it tightly.

“She’s afraid of me, Chuck!” Logan said.

“No, she’s only afraid of what she can’t remember. She is still Rogue and I swear to you I will do everything to bring her back to you!”

In hopelessness, Logan closed his eyes, nodding his head once. Magneto was right about one thing, this time it was harder to leave than the last. Jean was guiding Marie around the car, taking her out of his reach. With all the strength he had left, Logan took a step away from the car, away from Marie.

Jean opened the door for Marie to climb in, but the girl hesitated a moment. Her doe-like eyes rose to look at Logan. He stood there, allowing her to look into his very soul, to see the man he was to her. With everything he had, he pushed all of the love and need he had towards her. He begged upon her to see what she meant to him. Why wasn’t it enough? He had always thought his love for her would be enough.

She stared at him, through him and then she disappeared into the car. That was it, that’s all he had left of her. It was just one last look and in that look was no recognition of him at all. He didn’t think he could be broken anymore than when she was taken from him…he was wrong.

Logan stood there long after they had driven away. Every once of him screamed to let the Wolverine out, to unleash the beast upon Magneto. At least this way it would be over, as the other man would surly take his life. But, he couldn’t do that to Marie.

“It’s time to go, Logan!” Magneto said, coming up to stand beside him.

Logan felt nothing. When the car had driven away with Marie, it had taken his soul with it. All that was left was a shell of a man. He turned toward Magneto, watching the man beside him. He was surprised to see that his attention was not on him, but at the direction the car had gone. He was surprised to see sadness in the man’s eyes, as if he had a heart to care about what had happened to Marie.

Logan turned away, walking back to his own car. He passed Mystique, who, for the first time, didn’t have anything to say. Victor was already in the car when he took his seat beside him. Logan turned his head to look out the window, watching the world in darkness pass him by. No one said a word on the drive back to the Brotherhood’s compound.

All he wanted to do was go to his room. He didn’t want to be around these people tonight. The taste of the kill was still on his mind and anyone could be his victim if they crossed him. Without a word, he exited the car and walked away.

He fell to his bed, his hand pulling at his hair. He wanted to feel anything but the pain of her unknowing eyes. He wanted to see her as she was, as he remembered and not as the girl who feared him because she didn’t know him.

As the hours passed, he remained upright in his bed, his hands never leaving his hair. There was a knock on the door to which he did not answer. The person knocked again and he still ignored them.

Finally, the person spoke in a small, pitied voice, “I am truly sorry, Logan. I had no idea.”

It was Magneto, and in that moment, Logan did not care what the man had to say.

 

Ooooooookay!! There ya go and boy was that an emotional scene to write. I have to say that it just flowed out of me without me even thinking about it! It felt awesome and I hope that you liked it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment and as always, thank you for reading!!

 

 

Memories Made of Nightmares by loganlovesmarie
Author's Notes:
Here's another chapter for you great people! Hey, look at that, I'm getting good at updating...LOL!! I hope you enjoy and for all the ones that have reviewed...thank you so much for your great comments!! It helped me put more of my attention on this story and lots of ideas have come from it. For the ones that are reading but not commenting, thanks to you as well, but I would love to hear from you, good or bad!!

A woman looked back at her through the reflection in the mirror. Nothing about this person was recognizable, but it didn’t stop Marie from staring at herself for hours at a time. She willed herself to remember something, some feeling lost within her. Every day was the same. Every day brought her no closer to remembering who she was or the people that surrounded.

Marie touched her face, rubbing it slowly. Her eyes were trained to the movement of her hands, begging for some spark of recognition. She closed her eyes, letting out a long sigh. The frustration grew with each passing day.

She turned, walking towards her bed and laid down on her back. Her eyes stared at the ceiling above her. She could hear the faint voices of people passing by in the hall. They were strangers to her, yet they knew everything about her. When she had awoken two months ago, she was bombarded with questions from those strangers. It was questions she couldn’t even begin to answer.

Again, she tried to test her memory, searching for something, anything. When nothing came, she growled angrily, sitting up in the bed. The movement caused her head to swim with dizziness. She was not fully healed and her body reminded her constantly to take it slow. It wasn’t uncommon to find her passed out on the floor from pushing too hard.

Marie stood, kicking her shoe under the bed in anger. She heard the shoe hit something solid and her face scrunched up in confusion. She bent down, looking underneath in the darkness. She could barley make out a square object. Reaching for it, Marie pulled a purple box from underneath the bed. As with everything, she didn’t recognize it as being hers. As the lid was opened, it was obvious that it was, in fact, hers.

Pictures of her smiling face covered the top of the contents within the box. Marie grabbed them, bringing them out to study them. Maybe something in the pictures would trigger her memory. She stood up, dumping the box on the bed. Tons of pictures and other things poured out in front of her.

She began to pick the pictures up one at a time. The first few were of her and a girl wearing all yellow. She recognized the girl as being Jubilation Lee. In the days after she awake, the girl had insisted that they were as close as sisters. To look at these pictures would prove her claim. Each one, Marie saw herself smiling and some even showed her with a goofy face and Jubilation Lee mirroring her features. It saddened her to see how happy she looked knowing that she couldn’t remember exactly why.

The more she dug through the pictures, the more the pain intensified. Before long, tears blurred her vision, causing it to become difficult to see. There were some of her and Scott Summers, some with Dr. Jean Grey-Summers. There were even a couple with Professor Xavier and yet, it all seemed foreign to her. It was as if she were looking at someone else’s life, not her own.

As a single tear ran down her cheek, she froze on one picture in particular. Marie walked slowly to her window, holding the picture in the sunlight. It was him, the man from the other night. He was looking at her and her at him, both smiling. Marie studied the picture, studied his profile. The both looked so happy, so content. If he was her best friend, how could she have forgotten him and why was he not here with her now?

She began to remember the encounter with the man. The look in his eyes as he watched her was so intense, as if his life depended on her remembering him. The moment their hands touched, she had felt a jolt but nothing more. He had affected her in ways that none of the others had, but no memory of him was found. He was as much a stranger to her as the rest, yet there was something. He said his name was Logan and she had repeated that name over and over since that night, but nothing came to her.

For reasons unknown to her, Marie walked towards the mirror again. Gently, she placed the picture in the corner, hanging it there. She would look at it every day until something happened. For some reason, he had made her feel something other than empty. Though she didn’t remember a single detail about him, there was the jot he had caused within her and that was something to build on.

“Rogue?”

Marie turned to see Storm standing in her doorway. The woman smiled warmly at her, no pity in her eyes. Marie had come to like her very much. She didn’t feel sorry for her like the rest did. She watched the woman’s eyes travel to the picture on the mirror. Something crossed her face, but it was gone too soon.

“I took that picture,” she said quietly.

Marie turned back, staring at it as well. “I looked happy.”

Storm came and stood beside Marie, wrapping one arm around her shoulder.

“You were. Both of you were,” she whispered.

That was all it took for the dam to break open. Before she could stop it, Marie let out a sob. Storm turned her around, wrapping her in a hug. The woman shushed her cries, rubbing the back of her hair like a mother would do to a wounded child. She had not had many outbursts like this, not with anyone around anyway.

“It will come back to you child. Just give it time,” Storm said softly.

“When?” Marie asked through her sobs.

“When your mind is ready.”

For several moments, the women stood in silence until Marie’s tears were dried. Sniffing, she took a step back from Storm feeling foolish. For her part, Storm just smiled her warm smile and squeezed Marie’s shoulders.

“It’s time for your session with Professor Xavier,” Storm said.

Marie shook her head okay and asked for a few moments to get a hold of her emotions. With one final squeeze of her shoulders, Storm turned and walked out. She watched the woman go, feeling none the better for her outburst. Marie turned and looked at the picture once more wondering if she would ever smile like that again.

Once she felt in more control, she walked out of her room into the silent hallway. She walked down the stairs, following the path to Professor Xavier’s office. It had taken her weeks to familiarize herself with the place she called home. The school was so big that it was easy to find yourself lost. On several occasions, it had happened to Marie. When she thought she was headed for the kitchen, she would end up in a closet.

Before she could knock on Professor Xavier’s door, she heard him call her inside. She entered, finding him behind his desk. He looked up at her, smiling warmly. Maries smiled back, thought it didn’t reach her eyes. He pointed towards a chair directly in front of him, asking her to have a seat.

“How are you feeling today, Rogue?” he asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders. She was feeling the same way she had every other day since waking up.

“Lost as usual I guess,” she said sheepishly.

“That is understandable. No one expects you to fee any other way.”

Xavier had spent hours with her, trying to penetrate her mind and find some semblance of a memory. The experience was agonizing, as if feeling your head split open from a horrible migraine, but she was determined to find herself again. Afterwards, it always left her feeling tired and weak. She would sleep for hours at a time after one of their sessions.

“We do not have to start your session today if you don’t want to, Rogue. I will understand.”

She shook her head no. No matter how much pain it caused her, she had to remember something. He pointed towards his couch and she knew that he meant to start the session. She obeyed him, lying on her back. Taking a deep breath, she waited for the pain to begin.

“Are you ready?” he asked quietly beside her.

“Yes.”

The moment his mind touched hers, she gripped the couch tightly. The first moments were always the worse,. As if she felt herself being ripped open. Her eyes squeezed shut, her teeth grinding.

“Just relax, Rogue. I’m not going to hurt you,” he soothed.

She tried with all her strength to relax, but it was easier said than done. She began to count in her mind like he had taught her. It helped to ease the pain a little.

“Good, Rogue, just keep trying to relax.”

She started at twenty and counted down slowly, focusing her attention on each number and away from the prying mind of Professor Xavier. In the darkness, she began to see a light growing and knew it was the Professor. Soon, that light would turn into a figure and Professor Xavier would be standing before her.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Xavier said in her mind.

Through the white light emerged a hand. Marie took it, allowing Xavier to guide her. Suddenly, a body connected with the hand and he was now fully beside her. His smile eased her weariness and she allowed him to proceed.

All around them were black shadows. They danced and moved as if they were alive, yet none took any recognizable shape. Marie knew what would come next and she braced herself. She felt Professor Xavier do the same. His hand squeezed hers more tightly as they moved further into her mind.

“Reach out to them, Rogue. Make them take form,” he whispered, talking about the shadows.

Concentrating on the one closest to her, Marie pushed all of her efforts into making it come alive. It swirled around them, a vapor in the air. She followed it, turning as it turned. Her determination intensified, knowing what was about to come. It happened each time in their sessions and this would be no different. She had only seconds to break through the shadows.

“Rogue, it’s coming,” Xavier said, his voice showing his concern.

She could hear it in the distance, as if were a train heading straight for them. The shadows moved in haste, as if they were aware of the presence approaching. Everything around them began to rapidly speed up. The shadows flew around them, their forms moving too fast to grab a hold of one.


“Professor, I can’t do it!” Marie cried.

“yes you can, concentrate,” he shot back.

One of the shadows flew in too close to Marie and she grabbed it, holding it as it fought against her. The effort was enough to knock her to her knees, breaking her and Xavier’s locked hands. She felt him grab her shoulder, keeping a constant connection.

“Now, Rogue, now!” he screamed at her.

Marie’s hold tightened on the shadow, it’s need to move away from her growing more strong. She wouldn’t let it go, not this time. This was the first that she had ever been this close to one of the shadows and it gave her a hope that built into strength.

“Show yourself to me!” she screamed at the shadow.

All at once, she was thrown into a darkened room. Xavier was gone, leaving her alone. She looked around her, noticing that the room looked familiar. It reminded her of her own room at Xavier’s. It was the dead of night. The moon’s shadows bathed the floor with its brilliant light.

Marie turned slowly, trying to recognize where she was. She had been here before, but when? Suddenly, her eyes fell upon a bed. It looked exactly like the one in her room, but she knew that it was different. Somehow, she knew that this was not her room.

She heard a groaning sound coming from underneath the covers and with an unsteady breath, she stepped closer. Silence fell around her, making the groaning sound intensify.

“No,” she heard a voice call out.

It was familiar and she realized it was a man’s voice. She walked closer and closer until she was standing over a figure. He was tossing and turning, the sheets trapping him in the bed. Marie felt as though she needed to help him. His cries were rising in volume and he sounded as though he was being hurt.

She lowered her face, trying to see who it was. She was mere inches from him and suddenly, she recognized the man. It was him, Logan. He was struggling against something only he could see and she could feel his terror. She reached out to him, but something stopped her from touching him. It was as if an invisible force was between them. She would have to call to him to wake him up.

“Logan,” she said softly.

For her efforts, she received more groans. It did nothing to wake him.

“Logan,” she said louder.

He jumped, as if he had heard her, but sleep still held him captive. Marie began to feel herself panic. He was in trouble and she needed to help him, but she didn’t know how.

“Logan, you gotta wake up,” she said even louder.

It happened so fast, but to her it was as if it was in slow motion. Logan’s head jerked and his eyes came open. He looked like a wild animal that had been caught in a trap and was desperate to get out. She watched as his mouth came open and from within it came a blood-curdling scream. Before she knew it, Marie met his screams with one of her own. She was helpless to stop him as he rose up suddenly.

She heard, rather than felt, something go through her. It was the sound of knives slicing meat. After that, it was all pain. She looked down, seeing something penetrate through her chest. Whatever it was, it was coming form Logan’s hand.

Slowly, she looked up at his eyes and saw fear, terror, anger and hatred. She watched as a small drop of perspiration traveled down his brow to his curled lips. The breath was knocked from her and she felt the blood fill her lungs. No matter how hard she tried, she could not breathe.

Again, her eyes traveled back to her chest and she missed what Logan said. His voice was but a fog in her mind as the pain grabbed her. It hit her that he had thrust what seemed like claws into her. She wanted to laugh, thinking the thought foolish.

As fast as they were there, they disappeared back into Logan’s hand. Marie stumbled away, feeling herself grow light. She knew she was dying but for what reason, she didn’t know. All she had been trying to do was to help him and he had killed her for it. He was screaming now, but she couldn’t make out his words. Her eyes watched as the blood began to seep through the fabric of her nightgown. It was too much blood and in a matter of moments she would bleed to death. There was something she needed to do, but she couldn’t remember. It was something that would save her, but her mind was fuzzy.

“Rogue, let go of the memory. I need you to let go.”

It was Xavier’s voice. He sounded as though he were in a tunnel. Marie looked up at Logan, her eyes begging for an explanation. The last thing she saw was wide, hazel eyes.

The room around her fell away, bringing her back into darkness. Logan became a shadow again, struggling against her. The pressure on her shoulder was back, but she didn’t turn to look at Professor Xavier.

“It’s coming,” Xavier said.

As if his voice willed it, Marie saw it fast approaching. She was in shock at what she had jut remembered. It was an actual memory, but it was one that caused her more questions that answers.

The shadow broke from her hold, flying away as fast as it could. She let it go, her wide eyes following its movements. The sounds around her grew louder, causing her to grab her ears and slam her eyes shut.

Suddenly, she and Xavier were thrown backwards. All of the shadows disappeared around her, hiding behind a brick wall. Its impact on her was much harder this time, as if it were angered that she had penetrated a memory. It did not hold back its blow as it came in contact with her and Xavier. She heard the breath being knocked out of the man as his hold on her slipped away. They fell on the ground with a thud, their bodies feeling the weigh of the blow.

Marie sat up, her scream on the end of her lips. Her breath was coming out in puffs as her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her wide eyes looked around her, the familiarity of the room not sinking in yet. Beside her, she heard Xavier take a deep breath, calming his own nerves. She remembered everything, from the shadows to the memory to the brick wall that always stopped her from learning who she truly was.

“Oh my God,” she whispered in terror.

“Rogue, you saw something didn’t you?” Xavier asked in an unsteady voice.

She slowly moved her eyes to look at the man beside her. Hurt and anger filled her before she could stop it. Yes, she had remembered something but it was a horrible memory, one that she didn’t understand.

“Rogue?” Xavier asked confused, seeing the anger in her eyes.

Without a word, she jumped from the couch. Before she took a step, Marie had to catch herself on the end of the couch. Her head was pounding, causing her to see black spots. She felt as if she was going to pass out, but she fought against it using all of the anger she could muster. Through her blurred vision, she stumbled towards the door.

“Rogue, wait! We need to discuss what you saw,” Xavier called out behind her.

Marie leaned against the door, her strength all but faded from her body. It was the only memory that she had and it was horrible. She felt the bile rise in her stomach, traveling towards her throat.

“What I saw?” she said in a hoarse whisper. “You lied to me, Professor. He tried to kill me and you allowed me to think he was a friend.”

She watched Professor Xavier’s face grow in confusion. He stared at her, not quite understanding her meaning. It only made her anger grow. He was acting as if he didn’t know. What kind of game was he playing? What kind of game were they all playing?

“Did you take me to see him the other night so he could finish the job!” she yelled.

Xavier’s eyes shown understanding. “Logan,” he breathed.

“How dare you! How dare you take me to a man that tried to kill me and act as if he was a friend!”

Tears filled her eyes, tears of anger. She had trusted this man. She had trusted all of them and now her trust was crushed under the weight of lies. Marie grabbed the door handle, jerking it open.

“Rogue, please don’t leave. Whatever you saw, it wasn’t what it looked like. Logan would never harm you, I swear it!” Xavier called out.

Marie froze out in the hall. For a moment, she just stood there, the tears flowing down her face. Even now, after she knew the truth, Professor Xavier was still lying to her. She slowly turned, her body wound in tension.

“No more lies! These sessions are over and my trust in you and these people are done. Leave…me…alone! I’ll leave before I’m subjected to more of your lies!” she seethed.

Marie didn’t give the Professor time to respond before she stormed off. The kids in the halls gave her a wide berth as she passed them, her anger clear for all to see. She saw Scott and Storm walking around a corner, their smiles only making her anger stronger. Were they laughing at her? Were they laughing at the fact that she had met a man that tried to kill her and pretended only to be her friend?

“Hey Rogue,” Scott called out when he saw her.

She never stopped to acknowledge him, but kept moving towards the stairs leading to the second floor. She desperately wanted to get inside her room and lock everyone else out. Her head continued to pound, mocking the rhythm of her heavy footsteps. Again, her vision blurred and she had to catch herself on the wall. This time, the world around her began to spin. She knew what was about to happen and this time she couldn’t fight it.

She crawled, more than she did walk, up the stairs. Behind her, a worried Scott and Storm called out for her to stop. Once up on the second floor, Marie pushed herself down the wall, holding on to the last light of consciousness. Her room was only a few feet away. It grew in and out of focus.

Marie threw the door open, stumbling inside. She it her dresser hard, causing pain to shoot up her leg. Before her stood the full length mirror and the picture of a smiling Logan. She cried out, feeling the fear that she had felt when his claws had penetrated her chest. With one final act of strength, she thrust her hand out, grabbing the picture. It was the last thing she did before passing out onto the floor.

End Notes:
Ohhhhhh snape!!!! Review, review, review...pleassssse! I know it's short, but I promise to have another update coming soon!
Explanation and Redemption by loganlovesmarie
Author's Notes:
Here's the next chapter! I've put a refrence in about X-Men:First Class. If you've seen the movie, see if you can spot it!!
Marie sat in the game room alone. Her eyes stared out the window, watching the snow gently fall from the heavens. Above her right eye was a nasty bruise. When she had passed out, she had hit the side of her bed. When she had woken up, Jean was standing over her, the doctor coming out in the woman. Scott had gently picked her up, turning to take her to the med lab, but Marie had begged them not to take her back there. She hated that place for reasons she didn’t remember.
They had put her to bed and that’s where she stayed for two days. When they had all left her, she had turned her eyes towards the floor where she had passed out. She looked for several minutes, the dimly lit room hard to see in. It wasn’t there, which only meant that one of them had taken the picture of her and Logan. She had meant to destroy it, not wanting any reminder of that man. Her mind played her memory over and over again, trying to find something that would show her that all was not as it seemed. She saw nothing but what she had experienced.
It was Saturday, which meant that the mansion was mostly deserted. Students and teachers were either outside on the grounds, enjoying the sunshine, or in town shopping. Marie felt like doing neither. She had been avoiding them all and so far it had worked. It seemed as though they were giving her the space that she wanted.
It was eerily quiet in the space surrounding Marie. She slowly closed her eyes, listening to its palpable sound. Her body began to relax as her breathing slowed. If anyone walked in, they would believe she had fallen asleep. She was as still as a stone. What she was waiting for, she wasn’t sure. The more time ticked by, the more the silence grew until it was deafening.
Then, Marie heard it. It was as faint as a whisper, tickling the back of her mind. She dared not move, not even to take a breath. It was a ghost of laughter, as if riding the waves of the wind in and out of the room. She heard it all around her, encircling her with its sound. How she knew that it was a memory of this place, she wasn’t sure, but with every fiber of her being she knew that the laughter was of a place and time that she was that girl everyone said she was. As fast as it appeared, it was gone. Marie opened her eyes, looking around her. She had spent many times in this place. The laughter must have meant it was happy times.
There was the sound of someone moving behind her. They stepped in quietly, but Marie didn’t miss their arrival. They stood there without saying a word at first and Marie hoped it wasn’t Professor Xavier. He had tried to talk to her after the incident in his office, but she hadn’t been ready to discuss her memory. It was enough that the memory was the only one she had, but to have to relive it to another was something she didn’t want to do right now.
“Someone said you were in here,” said a voice at the doorway.
It wasn’t the voice Marie was expecting. It wasn’t a man’s voice at all but a woman’s. Marie turned, seeing Jubilation Lee walking slowly towards her. The girl gave her a soft smile as she sat down on the couch beside her. Marie did not return the smile. Everyone had said that she was like a sister to Marie, everyone insisted upon it, but all Marie saw was a stranger.
“Mind if I join you for a bit?” she asked Marie softly.
Marie shook her head yes, but deep within her she just wanted to be alone. The two women sat in silence, not knowing exactly what to say and if they did have something to say, they didn’t know how to say it. The tension grew thick.
“Are you going to tell me about the memory, or am I going to have to ask you twenty questions?”
Marie jerked her head to look at Jubilation Lee. She was softly smiling, the smile warm and friendly.
“How…” Marie began.
“Rogue, you’ll come to learn…again, that there isn’t a whole lot that can be kept from me, especially if it involves you,” she cut in.
Marie didn’t respond to that. Seeing that knowing look in the girl’s eyes made her point valid.
“So, you going to tell me or do I need to start my twenty questions?” she said playfully.
A smile began to creep into Marie’s hard features. She watched Jubilation Lee wag her eyebrows opening her mouth to speak. Marie cut her off, holding her hand up for her to stop. No, she didn’t want to play twenty questions.
“I met a man the other night, out at Central Park, that Xavier said was a close friend of mine.”
“Logan,” Jubilation chimed in.
“Yeah. He told me that we were best friends. We didn’t have a long time to talk because there were others there, but I felt something, a jolt if you will. No memories came back to me, but there was something about him, that much I could tell.”
Marie stopped, looking over to make sure she was following. Jubilation nodded her head for her to continue, so with a deep breath, she spoke again, “Everyone, from Logan to Xavier said the same thing, we were close, best friends. Then, in my session a memory finally came back.”
“That’s great, Rogue.” Jubilation said quietly.
“Is it?” Marie asked sadly. “That man tried to kill me. Some friend, huh?”
Jubilation’s face showed her confusion. She knew what was coming she’d heard it from Xavier. He had sworn to her that what she saw wasn’t what it seemed, but it was real.
“You’re talking about the night he stabbed you, aren’t you?” Jubilation said carefully.
So it was true, all of it. This Logan guy had tried to kill her and Jubilation had just confirmed it. From somewhere deep within her, she felt sad.
“Oh, honey no,” she said, taking Marie’s bare hand softly in hers.
“What? You’re going to tell me that it’s not real too?” Marie said harshly, snatching her hand away and standing to leave. She got to the doorway when she heard Jubilation softly speak.
“I was there, Rogue. I know what happened.”
Marie halted at her words. Jubilation had been there? She slowly turned, waiting for her to continue.
“Come, sit down and I’ll tell you what your memory has left out. Believe me, its left out a lot.”
For a moment, Marie didn’t move. Would she just be fed more lies? But, what if they weren’t lies? What if Xavier had been telling her the truth and she had been so scared by what she remembered that it blinded her to that fact? For some reason, Marie felt she could trust Jubilation. Maybe it was the many pictures in her room of the two of them and how happy she looked with this girl. Finally, she turned and walked back towards the couch.
When she was seated, Jubilation began, “To understand Logan, you have to know his past. It is not for me to tell you, Rogue. Just know that it is complicated and one that mirrors even your own.”
She paused here, letting that sink in. What did that mean mirroring her own? She didn’t have time to ask before Jubilation continued.
“Logan’s mutation allows him to heal rapidly and to have animal-keen senses, which meant that we could never sneak out without him knowing, but that’s a whole other story,” she said with a quiet laugh, as if she were remembering something. “But, he was also born with bone claws.”
She hesitated and Marie saw something pass over the girl’s face. It looked like sadness or sympathy, Marie wasn’t sure.
“Something happened to him, years before coming to the mansion, something that he was just beginning to remember, at least bits and pieces anyway. The memory that you remembered was one of the first nights of the two of you here. He was having a nightmare and you heard him. You went to his room wanting to check on him to make sure everything was okay. He was in the middle of a nightmare and you tried to wake him. Rogue, the animal in him took over and when he awoke, he attacked thinking he was in danger.”
Marie held on to every word Jubilation was saying. As she spoke, the memory played in her head and it was as if the girl was narrating.
“The moment he realized what he had done, he screamed for help. I heard his scream and ran to see what was going on. When I got there, he was looking at you with terror and horror in his eyes. He could barely get the words out of his mouth when he called for help again.”
Marie swallowed the lump in her throat. She remembered hearing him saying something, but she was far too gone to recognize the words.
“They’ve told you about your mutation, right?” Jubilation Lee asked quietly.
Not able to speak, Marie nodded her head once. It had come as a shock when they told her she hadn’t been able to touch another person in four years without killing them. It sounded like a horrible mutation to have, but for now it was gone.
“Logan knew too. He knew what would happen if you touched him, but he stood there anyway as your hand raised towards his face. Yes, Rogue, what you saw happened. Logan, in the throes of a nightmare, stabbed you, all but killing you. What you can’t remember, though, was that he allowed you to touch him, taking his healing ability, and in doing so, he saved you.”
Marie let out a small gasp, time seemed to slow down. She closed her eyes, willing her mind to remember that part of the memory. If she could remember the bad, why could she not the good?
“Logan would never hurt you, Rogue. I know you’ve heard that from several other people and there is a reason they are saying it…it’s true,” Jubilation whispered.
“You saw that?” Marie choked out.
Jubilation reached down, squeezing Marie’s hand. The emotions were overwhelming. Gone was the hate and anger she felt, as it was replaced with more questions and…hope?
“I swear it!” Jubilation whispered fervently.
“If he cared so much about me like everyone says, why isn’t he here?” Marie asked woefully.
She had wanted to ask that question for a while now. Everyone was so insistent that she and Logan were close and that she meant a great deal to him, but he wasn’t here. He wasn’t here to help her through this and to regain who she was. Jubilation looked down at their locked hands, her face growing sad. Slowly her brown eyes looked up and out at the snowy day. Marie could see something behind those eyes, something heartbreaking. Slowly, the girl pulled something out of her pocket, laying it into Marie’s lap.
“Sometimes we have to do what we must for the ones we love, even if that means selling our souls to the devil himself.”
Looking down at her lap, Marie saw that it was the picture of her and Logan.
One month later…
Logan stood to the side, watching the twelve newest members of the Brotherhood sparring with each other. All of them had improved, both physically and mentally in the last month. Logan wasn’t proud of what he was doing, teaching these mutants to fight for Magneto, but he was proud of their spirit. Everyday had been a strained workout for them, but they put forth a great effort and for their efforts they were rewarded with new skills and a new confidence that had been stripped from them by the government labs. Logan was to the point he would try to find the good in any situation and reminding himself of the mutant’s fight returning to them was enough to push him to do what he had promised Magneto.
The training kept him busy during the day. It was a good distraction from his weary head. When he was amongst these mutants, he was the Wolverine. Late at night, when all was still and silent, he was just Logan. Laid dormant inside the hardened shell of his soul, the Wolverine rested, allowing the man to deal with the aftermath of his emotions. Logan was left to deal with them pain of seeing her face every moment his eyes closed and knowing she was just out of his reach.
His mind was wandering again and this wasn’t the time for that. He shook his head, as if to rid himself of the fog of memory. He was just in time too as Magneto stepped outside onto the snow-covered ground. Logan watched him out of the corner of his eyes, trying to make it seem like he had not noticed him. The man’s face showed his pride as he watched his newest recruits sparring. He knew that Magneto saw their improvement too and that in just over a month, they had all but learned their skills. It didn’t take a genius to understand that revenge and anger will make a person push harder than anything.
Logan let out a sigh when he finally admitted to himself that Magneto’s army was becoming complete. The first step towards Magneto’s plan of supremacy was well underway and Logan had no one to blame but himself.
“Logan, may I have a word with you?” Magneto said, coming to stand beside him.
Logan nodded his head, waiting on the man to speak. The men locked eyes and Logan felt uneasy seeing a gleam in the other man’s eyes. Magneto was up to something and Logan could only dread what that something was.
“Not here, Logan. Let us take this conversation to my office.”
With that, Magneto turned and walked back inside the cave. With one final look at his recruits, Logan took a deep breath, stilling his anger. He walked slowly at first, his mind shooting out different scenarios. Gone around him was the bright, snowy day and in its place was dark, hard stone. As if it were possible, the temperature dropped the closer he got to Magneto’s office.
“Logan, have a seat,” Magneto said as he took a seat behind his desk.
Logan did a quick sweep of the room, finding it to be occupied with just Magneto and him. Still, he didn’t feel like being close to the man and definitely didn’t feel like sitting with him, as if they were pals. No, he would stand right where he was.
“I’m good,” he said shortly.
Magneto smiled, a small chuckle coming from his mouth. “Suit yourself.”
Logan felt his hairs stand on end as he watched the other man rise and walk towards him. For several seconds, Magneto just stood and stared at him. He was sizing him up, but for what reason? What was Magneto about to do? Logan made himself stand a little taller. He never broke eye contact with the man even though Magneto could crush him in an instant, he would not back down.
“You’ve done well by me, Logan. You’ve kept your word at every turn and the results have been extraordinary. I’ve learned to see you in a whole different light. I mean, what you did for the girl, it’s beyond words.”
Logan didn’t like where this was going. He didn’t want to discuss Marie with this man. Everything within him screamed to protect.
“Never unwavering in your love of her, you’ve gone to extremes that I find myself asking would I be brave enough to do the same.
“Is that why you brought me in here, to talk about her?” Logan asked, his anger rising.
Magneto noticed the animalistic look crossing Logan’s features. Slowly, the man lifted his hands, showing Logan he meant no harm. The fury never died down, he was swimming inside of it. He couldn’t talk about her, not here and not like this. He couldn’t stop the claws from slowly sliding out, relishing in the pain.
“Logan, I need you to calm down and hear me out. I mean no harm,” Magneto said, the whole time his eyes watching the claws as they continued to grow.
“Yeah,” Logan growled. “You mean no harm like on the Statue of Liberty? You mean no harm like how you almost took her away from me, keeping me from reaching her?”
Magneto sighed, all of a sudden looking his age. His eyes were heavy and they drooped, bags filled the space below them. Logan noticed for the first time Magneto did not look as superior as he usually did. To the Wolverine’s dismay, Logan forced himself to calm down. The hardest, safest thing to do was to walk away.
He forced the claws to retract and took a step away from Magneto, his eyes never leaving the man before him. He did not trust him enough to turn his back. It was one thing to allow this man to keep him from Marie, but it was another to have a friendly chat about the woman he loved.
When he was at the door, Logan turned and began to walk out. He heard the man behind him sigh, calling out to him. Logan stopped and turned saying, “I have work to do.”
“That can wait,” Magneto said softly.
Gone was the arrogant man that Logan knew so well. He did not recognize this Magneto. Logan turned fully, staring, waiting.
“Life can be so unfair sometimes, can it not?” Magneto asked.
Logan’s forehead scrunched in confusion. Where was he going with this? Did Magneto really want to have a heart to heart with Logan? He scoffed at the man, not able to hold it back.
“Save it for Mystique,” Logan said as he tried to walk away again only to hear Magneto call to him again.
“You think I’m an evil man, Logan. You have no idea what evil is. I have seen it, lived it!”
Logan stopped, turned and walked back into Magneto’s office. His anger was back and he didn’t care the consequences of letting it take control.
“You don’t think I’ve seen evil? You don’t think I know what a person is capable of? I had my whole entire life ripped from me not once, but twice…the day my memories were taken from me and the day that Rogue was taken from me. I know more about evil than I care to know!” Logan spat.
For Magneto’s part, he never blinked as Logan yelled into his face. He never batted an eye or looked angry that Logan had stood up to him. His face was void of all emotion.
“Over the past few years, I’ve often thought about what my parents would think about the man I’ve become. Would they be proud of me, or would they be ashamed? I find as the months come and go, the question becomes more difficult to answer,” Magneto said, his eyes looking distant.
Logan laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “You’ve lost your mind old man,” he growled.
Magneto just smiled, his blue eyes turning back to Logan. “That has crossed my mind over the pass few hours.”
Logan shook his head, finally ready to end this discussion once and for all. “If you want to clean your soul, do it with someone who gives a fuck!”
“Oh, I think you will give a…fuck if you will shut up for a moment and listen to what I’m trying to tell you,” Magneto said, his voice not rising above a whisper.
Logan reigned in his anger at Magneto telling him to shut up. So, the man wanted to tell him something, fine! Logan would sit through all the bullshit to get to the core of why they were having this discussion in the first place. All the while, he felt he was wasting his time.
“I believed, whole-heartedly, in what I was doing at the Statue of Liberty that night. I believe it’s time for our kind to live in the open and the humans to hide in fear, I will never back down from that.”
There was a pause, as if Magneto was thinking about the words before speaking them.
“But, one thing I have never been able to get past is Rogue.”
At the mention of her name, Logan flinched. To hear her name come out of his mouth was almost too much.
“I only meant to change the course of mutant kind. I wanted all of you to see the bigger picture and she was the only way.”
“She was innocent!” Logan yelled.
“Yes, she was. That is the one thing that has stuck with me all these years. It is the one thing that has broken through my resolve for the good of our people. Rogue was innocent and she was a mutant, the very reason I was doing it for. I’ve tried pushing it out of my head, but it eats away at me like a disease.”
“Where are you going with this,” Logan seethed. He wanted off this topic, off the memory of her dead in his arms.
“I used her the same way I was used in my youth. The Nazis believed to wipe us out would be to the benefit of their kind. I lost everything because of that belief.”
For the first time, Logan saw the pain from that lifetime. He saw Magneto’s pain etched in ever crevice of his face, bursting through his haunted, blue eyes. Some of his anger died away, but not all.
“I can twist it in my mind every way possible, but it all leads back to I did exactly what I have come to hate. I’ve lived with that for four years and with you being here I’ve had to come face to face with that knowledge.”
“You want an apology?” Logan said harshly, regretting it once the words came out.
Magneto smiled, but it never reached his eyes. “An apology? No.”
“Then what?” Logan asked, his patience starting to wane.
“I want to give the opportunity back to her that I never received. I owe her and I am finally starting to realize that now.”
Logan’s heart began to speed up. The unspoken words hung in the air like vapor and Logan desperately wanted to believe that he understood where Magneto was going. Could he even begin to hope?
“What are you saying?” Logan whispered.
With a deep breath, Magneto said, “You have fulfilled your deal with me, Logan. You have done all that I’ve asked and there is nothing more than I can ask of you. What I’m saying is that it is time for you to go home.”
Logan felt as if his whole body lifted from the ground. The wind forced from his body, his head swimming with knowledge of what Magneto had just said. Here, this man that he loathed and had done more harm to him than good was letting him go. He was letting him go home to Marie. Before Magneto could change his mind, or before Logan realized it was a trick, he turned abruptly and sped for the door. He would not need to be told twice.
“One other thing, Logan,” Magneto said, stopping Logan in his tracks. He should have known it was too good to be true. Here came the part where Magneto took it all back. “The debt has been paid with Rogue. The debt has been paid with you. And to Charles, tell him this is my thanks for allowing me all these years with Mystique.”
Again Logan looked confused. Magneto, again, just smiled his knowing smile, the explanation never coming. “From this moment on, I owe nothing to any of you and if you continue to get in my way out there,” he said, pointing towards the window, “I will not hesitate to do what I must. I believe in what I’m trying to build here and I still believe that you people are either with me, or you are against me.”
Logan nodded his head, “I wouldn’t expect it to be any other way, Eric.”
At the mention of his name, Magneto bowed his head once at Logan. It was the first and only time Logan would ever call him by his given name. It would be the first and only time that he would show him any gratitude. For only a moment, it was just one man trying to make amends and another trying to show respect for that decision.
Without another word, Logan turned and ran as fast as he could towards the exit of the cave. Any moment, he expected to wake up, finding this all a dream. It had been so long since he had felt things going his way, so long since he had felt that everything was going to be okay. Long had he felt that the days would get better, only to find himself fallen to his knees in a darkened room at night, reliving every moment without Marie. It was all about to change.
Logan ran out into the sunlight, stopping a moment to feel the cool air on his hot face. The snow fell upon his upturned face and he smiled wide, feeling freedom around him. Finally, he was going home. Finally, he was going back to Marie.
End Notes:
LOGAN IS GOING HOME!!!!! Review, Review, Review. I know it's a different format and I hope it hasn't been hard to read this chapter. I wrote it on a new computer and for some reason, I don't know how to fix it. I'll figure it out, hopefully, before the next chapter!!! Thanks
Home is Where the Heart is by loganlovesmarie
Author's Notes:
Here ya go...the next chapter!!!

Marie sat in the windowsill of the game room, looking out into the snow. In her hand, she held the picture of her and Logan. She had stared at it for hours, tracing his features with her eyes. The jolt was still present, but there was nothing else. She sighed, looking down at it again, begging for her mind to remember something, anything.

During those hours of staring at the picture, Marie played the conversation she had with Jubilation over and over in her head. She had no doubt that the girl was telling her the truth, yet she couldn’t remember how the memory ended.

Would her life always be like this? Would it always be a constant question mark of what she was and who she was? Everyone around her could tell her about her life, but if she didn’t remember for herself, did it really matter? She felt a heaviness fall upon her shoulders and she shut her eyes, sealing off the beauty of the snow.

Marie felt the tears form and she fought against them. Now was not the time for tears. It was time for her to be strong, to overcome what this life had dealt her. She had questions that needed to be answered and a life that she needed to discover again. Tears would bring her no closer to the truth. That’s what her head was telling her, but her heart felt completely different. Her heart wanted to drown in the sorrow that she felt completely smothering her. If there was just something that she could hold on to. Was there something that would pull her out of the drowning sea rising to cover her completely? Marie didn’t feel she had the strength to do it all on her own.

There was a loud bang out in the corridor coming from the entrance to the mansion. Marie whipped her head around, looking towards the hallway from where she sat. There were students frozen in place, their wide eyes staring ahead of them to where Marie couldn’t see. She heard some of them gasp, some of them whimper.

Jubilation came into view, her steps slow and careful. Marie watched the girl’s eyes grow wide, her mouth coming open in shock. It was enough to make her rise from the windowsill and find out what was happening. Marie kept her eyes on Jubilation as she walked slowly towards the game room door. The shock slowly eased from her face, replaced by a brilliant smile. She watched the girl take a deep breath, as if releasing some unseen burden.

“Logan,” Jubilation breathed.

Marie felt the jolt intensify. The picture in her hand almost fell to the floor, but she held it tighter to her. Stealing her nerves, Marie walked out into the hallway.

“Where is sh…” Logan started, his eyes searching the people before him. The sentence died in his throat as Marie stepped into view.

With a deep breath, Marie looked up at the stranger before her. He was staring at her, standing as still as a statue. For the first time, Marie was able to get a good look at the real Logan, not just a picture of him. The night in the park had been too dark to really study him, but now in the light of the mansion, she was able to look at him fully. Marie had to admit, he was handsome in a sort of rugged way, but his smile, which had made an appearance, was like the sun shining through a darkened window.

“Hello,” Marie said in a low voice.

She felt the need to speak for reasons she didn’t know. Maybe it was to break the silence that was eating away at her.

“Well, there’s nothing to see here people, let’s keep walking,” Jubilation said beside her.

The students began to continue their walk to where they were headed before Logan burst through the doors. Some of them looked disappointed that they couldn’t stay and see how the scene would play out and Marie reminded herself to thank Jubilation later for clearing the hallway.

“Good to see you, Logan,” Jubilation said as she passed him.

Without look away from Marie, he grunted his response. The seconds past and silence fell upon them again. It wasn’t an uncomfortable, but Marie wished he would say something, anything. As if he heard her wish, Logan’s mouth came opened to speak, but someone walked out into the hallway. Marie’s view of Logan was obscured by Scott, who stood in between her and Logan. She felt this was not an accident, as if he wanted to shield her somehow.

“Logan, what are you doing here?” Scott asked in a controlled voice.

Marie peered around Scott’s back and looked towards Logan. She was surprised to see his smile gone and anger filling his hazel eyes. Those eyes were pointed directly at Scott.

“What do you thing, I’m home,” Logan growled.

“What, he just let you go? I doubt it,” Scott shot back.

Logan took a step towards Scott, his anger barely under control. Marie could feel it coming off of him in waves and she began to feel scared.

“I don’t answer to you, Scooter. Get out of the way,” Logan seethed.

“You think I’m going to just let you walk back in here, as if the last few months haven’t happened? As if you didn’t abandon us?” Scott spat.

Again, Logan took a step towards Scott and Marie. She began to hear a ripping noise and with a small gasp she noticed something coming out of his knuckles. Immediately, she was sent back into her memory at the moment those things on his hands ripped through her chest. On instinct, her hands came to her chest, her breathing speed up. Scott never backed down, but reached for his visor.

“That’s enough!” came a voice to Logan’s left.

They turned to see Xavier rolling into view. Behind him, Jean looked at the scene with concerned eyes, watching her husband and Logan in a standoff. Marie looked from one to another, her chest rising and falling in swift movements.

“In my office…now!” Xavier said, giving no room for argument.

“I’m not going anywhere, Chuck. I need to talk to her,” Logan said, his fury still palpable.

Marie knew Logan was talking about her. Did she want to talk to him? Right now, he had her pretty freaked out.

“There will be time for that, Logan, but right now, we all need to discuss this situation.”

Logan didn’t move at first, his eyes staring hard at Xavier. Scott stood firmly in front of Marie, showing no signs of moving either. Xavier came to stop between the two men, looking from one to the other. Marie could do nothing but watch the whole situation play out, her gut telling her something bad could happen at any moment. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Please, Logan. All I ask is for a few moments to discuss this latest development then, if Rogue agrees, you may talk to her,” Xavier said quietly.

Logan’s head rose slowly towards Marie, his hazel eyes boring into her again. “Will you wait for me?” he asked.

Marie looked around her, cutting their connection. All eyes were on her, waiting for her reply. She had a choice here. She could refuse to talk to him, refuse to have anything to do with him and it occurred to her that he, as well as the rest, was giving her that choice. She would be lying if she said that it didn’t surprise her that he wasn’t going to demand that she listen to him. Did she want to talk to him though?

Something scratched the inside of her palm and Marie looked down quickly, forgetting that she held the picture of the two of them. Not caring that everyone was still looking at her waiting for her reply, she stared at the picture. She stared at the smiling faces of two people she didn’t recognize, yet they looked so happy. She looked so happy. Whether she could remember or not, the picture showed this man, Logan, was someone important to her.

Slowly, she looked back up at him, her mouth coming open to speak, “Yes.”

“Good,” he breathed.

With that, everyone but Marie turned and went to the direction of Xavier’s office. She watched them go, her attention on the retreating back of Logan. As he reached Xavier’s door, he turned towards her. Their eyes met for a moment, Marie felt the jolt so strong it almost knocked her over. If Logan noticed, he never showed. Without another word, he disappeared behind the door leaving Marie standing in the middle of the empty hallway, her hand coming to rest lightly on her beating chest.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Xavier sat behind his desk, Logan at the corner window overlooking the grounds. Scott, Jean and Storm stood before Xavier’s desk.

“Can I offer anyone anything to drink?” Xavier asked.

Everyone, in one quick motion said no. With a hint of a smile, Xavier began to make himself a cup of hot tea. The silence grew thick as he took his time adding small blocks of sugar. Logan started to feel agitated as the seconds passed. Instead of standing here he could be with Marie. It had been so long since she had been near him but instead, he was stuck in her for God only knew why.

“Good to see you again, Logan. I cannot help but to be surprised that you’re here,” Xavier said, turning to face him with his cup of tea in hand.

“Looks like you’ll be seeing a lot more of me now, Chuck,” Logan mumbled.

Scott scoffed, his hands coming to rest on his hips, “You really expect us to be so stupid as to believe that Magneto just let you go, just let you walk out? Last time I checked, the man wasn’t into charity work.”

“I really don’t give a flying fuck what you think, Scooter. You gotta problem with it, I’ll show you were the man lives, you can go talk to him yourself, or you can shut the fuck up!” Logan growled.

Scott took a step towards Logan but was stopped by Jean’s hand on his arm. The woman’s face looked at her husband worriedly.

“You know what I don’t give a fuck about, Logan? You walking in here after three months that she’s been home. While you were doing God knows what for Magneto, we’ve been here picking up the pieces. I’ve been trying to do the job you should have been here doing!” Scott roared.

That was the wrong thing to say. Logan felt the Wolverine come out and he could no more stop him than he could his love for Marie. With quick movements, he lunged for the younger man, his Adamantium claws stretching out before him. A loud roar feel from his lips. He was stopped just short of Scott’s chest. He hung in midair, as if invisible strings held him from the ceiling. It did not seem to quench the anger within him.

“Let’s not forget why she was taken in the first place, motherfucker,” he said through gritted teeth.

Scott’s face turned beet red as his anger began to match Logan’s. His hands shot towards his visor, but stopped just short. He began to fight against the invisible barrier, but was unsuccessful. The eyes behind the visor stared towards his wife’s outstretched hand. One hand was held towards Logan while the other was held towards him.

“Both of you need to calm down…now!” she said in a controlled voice.

“Jean is right. I expect order in my office and whatever is going on between you two put it to an end. This is about Rogue and whatever animosity there is between the two of you pales in comparison to helping that lost girl!” Xavier said angrily.

Logan and Scott looked at each other, their anger still evident. Slowly, they both nodded their heads. For the time being, they would let their anger at each other take a back seat to what was really important at that moment. The claws disappeared behind Logan’s skin and jean slowly released her hold on him. He stood on legs again, turning his back on everyone to calm the beast within. Scott’s hand came to rest at his side, his chest heaving a deep sigh.

“That’s better,” Xavier started. “Logan, please tell us how you’ve come back home?”

At first, Logan didn’t know how to explain. The conversation between him and Magneto felt private, like it was meant to be just between them. Not that he was a big Magneto fan or anything, but a part of him began to respect him afterwards.

“We came to an understanding,” Logan said.

The five people in the room stared, not saying a word as if they waited for him to go on. Logan switched his weight form one leg to another, feeling uncomfortable as the seconds ticked on.

“An understanding,” Xavier said.

Logan rolled his eyes, “Look, what was said is between us. All I will say is that the man let me go home.” Logan looked at Xavier, wanting the man to understand his next words, because Logan still didn’t understand them himself.

“He wanted me to tell you to look at this as a thank you for letting Mystique go to him.”

Logan watched as understanding and sadness filled Xavier’s eyes. His eyes grew distant, as if reliving a long forgotten memory.

“I understand,” Xavier said with a small smile that never reached his eyes. The man looked around at the others, his eyes searching their faces. “It looks like all of our family is home once again.”

Jean and Storm gave a smile of their own, but Scott’s face never moved. It was a stone of void emotions. His eyes could not be seen through the visor, but Logan could feel them staring at him.

“Welcome home, Logan,” Xavier said as he extended his hand out.

Logan looked down at it, feeling Xavier’s words sinking in. Finally, after months he was home. After months Marie was home. He reached out, taking Xavier’s hand in his and giving it a shake. It was enough for everyone to understand that there would be no discussing if Logan was welcomed back or not. Xavier just gave his stamp of approval.

Jean and Storm were next to wrap their arms around him gently, welcoming him back. He gave them a soft smile, grunting in response to their show of emotion. Logan watched, a little apprehensive, as Scott walked towards him. His instincts were telling him to defend himself, but he fought against it. The leader of the X-Men stood before him, his body rigid, but he stretched his hand out to Logan anyway. Logan didn’t move to take it at first as shock overtook him. Soon, the shock passed and Logan reached for the man’s hand. It was short lived, but it was enough to get the point across. For now, their problems were not important.

“Now that we have that settled, we must discuss Rogue,” Xavier said after Scott walked away form Logan and back to his wife.

“I want to know everything. What she has remembered, if anything. What I can do to help,” Logan said.

The look that passed through the room was not lost on Logan. “Everything,” he repeated.

It was jean that looked at him first, her eyes held sadness and pain. “Logan, maybe that isn’t such a good idea,” she said quietly.

“If I’m to help her, I have to know all that you do. Otherwise, I’ll look like an outsider compared to everyone else. I know I haven’t been around, she knows that too. If I go out there blindly and she tells me something that I didn’t know how am I going to gain her trust?” he said.

“He’s right,” Xavier chimed in.

Jean and Xavier exchanged glances and with a nod of his head, Jean spoke, “Then let’s start at the beginning. Logan, I need you to follow me down to the med-lab.”

Without thought, Logan agreed. He followed the red head towards the door, only later would he wish that he could go back to this point. Only later would he have wished to stay in the dark about some things that had to do with Marie.

Marie was still standing outside in the hall. As she as she heard the door open, her head popped up, searching the faces that appeared. Logan watched her, seeing how nervous she looked. It was a look that was foreign on her. Never before had she been nervous when he was present, but here she stood watching them with big, doe-like eyes. Jean passed her, giving her a warm smile and a light pat on the arm.

“We’re going down to the med-lab for a bit, Rogue. We will be done soon,” she said softly.

“I don’t want to go down there.” Logan’s heart sank when he heard the fear in her voice. All he wanted to do was to go to her and wrap his arms around her. He would hold her, never to let her be scared again. He forced himself still, waiting on Jean to console her. It wasn’t his time yet.

“You don’t have to go, sweetie. It’s just going to be us,” Jean said, pointing to Logan and the others.

In an instant, Marie looked relieved. She closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. Jean turned, heading towards the elevator. Logan came to within a few feet of Marie. She turned and looked up at him. There was no recognition in her eyes, nor was there fear. Instead of dwelling on the first part, he would hold on to her not fearing him.

“I’ll be back shortly, okay?” he asked her.

She nodded her head, “Okay.”

With that, he made himself turn away from her, walking towards Jean who was holding the elevator door open for the rest of them. He heard Xavier saying something in a low voice to Marie, but he didn’t wait to hear what it was. He wanted this over with so he could spend the rest of the time with her. He wished he didn’t have to do this, but he needed to know it all as to help her. He needed to know what she had been through to understand where to start. He just hoped it didn’t break him in the process.

The elevator ride seemed as though it took a lifetime. Logan wondered if it would ever stop and the doors open. He hated coming down here, but he knew that he must. The smells and sounds were enough to drive the Wolverine insane. He stilled himself as he heard the ding of the bell notifying them that they had made it to their destination.

The doors opened and they went straight for Jean’s office. The hairs on the back of his head stood on end, his skin crawling. It reminded him so much of the nightmares. It reminded him of the men standing above him celebrating his pain. Again, he felt the need to flee, but he squashed it, holding on to just Marie’s face in his mind. He could do this…for her.

Logan chose to remain at the doorway as everyone settled themselves into Jean’s office. Her desk sat before them, immaculate as always. She began opening the bottom drawer, bringing out a thick manila folder. Logan could make out Marie’s name on the front. He knew at once that this was her medical records. Jean turned her back on them, flipping on a switch to the lighted view box. He watched her put three X-rays in front of the light.

“I took these the night that Rogue was found. The first one, “she said, pointing at the X-ray, “is of her ribs. See these?”

Logan looked to where she was pointing. At first he didn’t see anything but bone, but the harder he looked the more it came into focus.

“They’re broken,” he whispered.

Jean nodded her head. “Four breaks, right here, here, here and here.” Each time she pointed to them, Logan felt as if she were pounding her fist into his chest. “We can only guess as to what caused it, but I think our guess would be right,” she said in a low voice.

Logan didn’t need her to explain. He knew very well what had caused those breaks. Marie had been beaten, his very gut knew that. He felt his rage taking over, begging for release.

“This one is of her right arm. It was broken in two places, right here and here. Luckily, it wasn’t bad breaks and she healed pretty quickly.”

Again, another punch landed in Logan’s chest. They had broken those precious bones that he valued above his own Adamantium-covered ones. He wanted to scream now. He wanted to sink his claws into something until it felt the paint hat he did at that moment.

“T-the third one…,” Logan looked up as Jean stared at the X-ray. Tears formed in the red-headed doctor’s eyes. Her hand came to rest on her mouth, as if to stop a sob. Logan looked around the room and saw somber faces. Scott’s jaw was so tense he thought it would break at any moment. Storm was having a problem keeping her face from crumbling. Xavier looked as though he might cry as well.

“What are you not telling me?” Logan blurted out. A part of him screamed that he didn’t want to know.

Jean cleared her throat, trying to recover her runaway emotions. He watched the woman be replaced by the doctor, cutting herself of from the emotions. “The last X-ray is one that worries us the most. When I studied it, I wanted to make sure so I did an oral exam on Rogue myself while she was unconscious.” Her voice trailed away, as if caught in the first stages of a sob.

“What is it?” Logan growled, his anger was coming back at the thought of them keeping something about Marie from him. He stared at the x-ray, trying his best to identify the part of the body. It looked familiar and he knew he would recognize it if he kept looking. Seconds passed by and Jean didn’t answer him, but he was so caught up in staring that he didn’t seem to notice her absent reply. Luckily, he didn’t see any breaks, but what caught his attention was the scaring. In three different places, he could see scar tissue.

If the earth would have shifted at that moment, Logan would not have felt it. The knowledge of what he was staring at cam in like a silent wind. He felt his entire body lose all strength. His arms felt like heavy weights and his legs felt like jelly.

“No,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t sure, Logan. I did the oral exam on her and…and that’s when I felt the damage,” Jean said, the tears now falling from her eyes.

“They raped her,” Logan growled and sobbed all at once.

It was enough to destroy the man within him, giving way to the beast that saw only the pain and infliction that had been thrust upon Marie. The people on the room with him disappeared, surrounding him with faceless shadows. With a roar, Logan leaped forward grabbing the first thing he touched, which was Jean’s desk. With a gut-wrenching roar, he picked the desk up, turning it over on it’s side. He did not see Jean move just in time to keep from being in the desk’s path, nor did he hear Xavier’s scream for him to calm down.

In his mind the only thing Logan saw was those bastards on top of Marie. All he could hear was her screaming his name, screaming for him to help her. All he could see was tiny hands trying to shove the men off of her. Had she blamed him for not being there to help her? Had she screamed for him until her voice was completely gone? It was too much.

Next, Logan grabbed Jean’s cabinets, crushing them to the floor. Tears of rage fell from his eyes. He wanted to hurt something, anything. He felt someone grab him from behind and with one swift movement, that person went flying towards the wall. The breath being knocked out of them swirled through the room, but it did nothing to penetrate through his rage.

The x-ray’s came into Logan’s view and he cried out with such anguish. He had to get away from them, had to get away from the reminder of what he wasn’t able to stop. He had always known that he had let Marie down, but never this much, never this bad.

He stumbled out into the cold hallway, as if the room was on fire. His body it the far wall, the handrails punching him in the side causing pain he should have felt, but he felt nothing other than his failure to protect her. His hands grabbed the handrails as his legs slid out from under him. His breathing was coming out fast and hard, tears slid down his reddened face. His hold tightened on the handrails, the sound of wood breaking lit up the silent hallway.

“Logan, listen to him,” Xavier said behind him.

“Oh God, Xavier,” Logan cried through his torment.

“I know this information is horrible to hear. Believe me, the first time Jean told me, I felt lost and in agony that one of my own had suffered this. She didn’t deserve this, Logan. She didn’t deserve anything they did to her, but Logan, Rogue does not remember a thing. She does not remember what happened to her therefore, she doesn’t remember the rapes.”

Logan howled as he heard Xavier use rape in the plural sense. He was no fool to believe that they had only raped her once, but to hear it was more than he could bear.

“She doesn’t’ remember?” Logan whispered.

“No. We have asked her in ways that would not give any hint as to what has happened and she has not shown any signs that she remembers a thing. Logan, at this stage, it is very important that she not know. Rogue is too fragile to begin to deal with something on this level. We have had to deal with this and put it aside, as inhumane as that sounds of us, she is not ready to know.”

“I can’t just put it aside, Chuck!” Logan screamed.

“You have to, Logan. If you do not, you could cause more damage than what has already been done to the girl,” Xavier shot back.

Logan jumped to his feet turning his enraged eyes on the man sitting before him. “I would never hurt her like that! You know this,” he seethed.

Xavier raised his hands, trying to calm the beast inside Logan. “I am not saying that. I would never believe that you would hurt Rogue. I have seen everything you have done for the girl, but you must understand that if you let this slip out, we will lose her forever.”

The rage began to seep away. Through the fog in his mind, Logan understood what Xavier was trying to say. Marie was in a fragile state and this information would throw her over the edge. He would do anything to protect her, even if that meant protecting her from the truth. Logan bent down, holding his wet face in his hands. He had lost control of the Wolverine, but now he was gaining that control back. He felt a light touch on his head as Xavier laid his hand on his head comforting him.

“I should have been there,” Logan said through his hands.

“It’s not your fault, Logan,” Xavier whispered.

Logan wasn’t’ so sure about that. He had allowed this to happen. He had allowed Marie to join the X-Men after his gut told him to fight it. He had allowed Marie to go on that mission after his gut had told him to stop her from going. He had allowed her to be separated from him inside the government facility after his gut told him to grab her and tie her to him. Everything was pointing a finger at him, mocking him that this was his fault and Marie had paid a horrible price.

“I have not had the slightest clue on how to help Rogue. But, with you back, Logan, I feel you are our only hope in getting Rouge back.”

Logan looked up at Xavier, his eyes pleading with the man to tell him how to do that. He screamed inside his mind, knowing Xavier could hear him. How was he supposed to help her? How was he supposed to reach her when she couldn’t even remember who he was?

“You help to remind her of who you are and how much you love her. If you do that, the rest will fall into place,” Xavier answered his unspoken questions.

“And if it doesn’t?” Logan whispered.

“Then, we will learn to love the woman she is now. If Rogue never gets her memory back, then we will love her for who she will become. Logan, for now you must put this aside. We have a lot more to go over with you and she is waiting for you. Before you go up to her, I must ask that you put yourself back together. I-I don’t mean to sound so hard, but we must do what we must for the time being. She is counting on all of us,” Xavier said.

For a moment, Logan stayed where he was. In his mind, he did not know how to put everything he knew so far out of his mind. It was enough to drive him insane. But, the more he looked at Xavier’s eyes he knew there was no other choice. In the daylight, in front of Marie, he had to put on a brave face for her, but he knew his nights would still be filled with the torture of his failure.

With a shaky breath, he stood to his feet, nodding his head slowly at Xavier. The man let out a small breath of his own and turned back towards Jean’s office. Logan stood, looking at the damage done to her office and he knew that he owed her an apology and the person that he knocked against the wall. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly who that person was go to be and he grit his teeth. So far, his first day back had been far worse than he thought.

End Notes:
Logan's back, but it wasn't the best welcome back party he could have received. He is beginning to realize what Marie has gone through! Do you think he has the strength to know it all? Please review and as always, thanks for reading!!!!
This story archived at http://wolverineandrogue.com/wrfa/viewstory.php?sid=3604