Made a wrong turn Once or twice. Dug my way out Blood and fire. Bad decisions That's alright, Welcome to my silly life

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I have a boyfriend who loves me.
It’s a thought that runs through her head every morning, and every night before she goes to sleep. The first time the thought crossed her mind, she felt guilty, remembering that Bobby was once her boyfriend. But that wasn’t love, that was two teenagers trying to make something work that was doomed from the beginning. There was too much fear, Bobby scared of her skin and Marie scared what her skin might do to him if he got to near. But Logan was different, he never feared her skin and never allowed her to be consumed by the fear of her skin. Even now, with the threat of her skin gone, there was no difference to the way he treated her before the cure. Everyone else became more comfortable around her but Logan... Logan was always comfortable around her, since the moment she told him her touch made bad things happen.

Sitting up, she ran a hand through her messy hair, before climbing out of bed and walking to her bathroom. She took a look at her pale reflection in the mirror and sighed at the bruise on her cheek. She’d fainted three days ago while supervising a basketball came, her face hitting the hard gravel of the court. When she’d woken up, Logan was hovering over her, his face filled with worry. But his expression soon changed to relief and happiness. She ran her hand lightly, over her face, letting out a sigh. She was glad the swelling had gone down, but wished the bruise would fade quickly. She shrugged out of her t-shirt, tossing it on the hamper, and filled the basin with water. After a quick wash and change of underwear, she dressed in jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of ballet flats. A light touch of make-up brightened her face a little, and smiling she left her room and headed down to the kitchen.On her way downstairs, she felt a wave of nauseous rush through her body. Gripping the banister of the stairs, she closed her eyes and waited for it to go away.

“Marie?”
Marie opened her eyes, shooting a small smile at Jubilee. She shook her head slightly and tried to wave her friend off. Unfortunately, Jubilee was having none of it. She put her hand under Marie’s arm and hoisted her friend up, helping her towards the kitchen.
“Jubes, I’m fine.”
“Sure.”
“Really! Just a silly headache. I just need to eat, then I’ll be fine.”
“Uh-huh.”

Marie sighed and allowed Jubilee to lead her into the kitchen. It was deserted, everyone in class already, considering it was eleven in the afternoon. Marie took a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen, propping her head up with one hand. Jubilee reached into the fridge and started making a sandwich. Marie mentally noted to herself that she had to make sure to shake off Jubes by twelve so she could go down to see Hank and get a refill on her suppression pills. She always went alone, not wanting to drag the happy mood down by mentioning her ‘disease’. In the four months she and Logan had been dating, she’d told Ororo and Jubilee about her illness. Both woman had been sad but like the men who knew, they pretended it didn’t exist, treating her like a normal person who sometimes was a little sick.

“Mayo?” asked Jubilee, breaking Marie from her thoughts.
“No thanks.”
“Okay then, one ham sandwich. Here you go.”
“Thanks Jubes.”
Marie took a bite of the sandwich and watched as Jubilee sat down opposite her.
“So... you and Wolvie have been going out for... four months is it?”
“Just over four. Like by two days I think.”
“How are things between you two?”
“Great. We go out, have fun, he spends every evening with me unless he’s on a mission and generally, he’s been the perfect gentleman.”
“Wow... that’s so not Logan-like.”
“Well, none of us really know that. I mean maybe he had always been a gentleman.”
“Or maybe it’s just because he loooooovvvvess you.”

Marie blushed and shrugged finishing off her sandwich. Logan had told her loads of times that he loved her. He’d also made sure she knew that while he craved to make her his, they’d only make love when the time was right. Preferably when she wasn’t as weak as she was these days. She only hoped it would be someday soon, because she truly loved him and wanted to be with him.

---

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, Miss "no way it's all good", It didn't slow me down. Mistaken, Always second guessing Underestimated, Look, I'm still around...

Rogue smiled at the lilies on her bedside table, turning over to snuggle closer to her lover. He was lying on his back, as always, looking completely peaceful. She used his chest to give herself some leverage, and planted a kiss on his cheek. He smiled a small smile broke across face but he didn’t open his eyes as he spoke.

“Hey darlin’.”
“Hey, what time is it?”
“After six, you missed dinner.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t be.”

He opened his eyes and sat up, picking up a tray on his side of the bed. He waited until she was sitting up properly, before placing the tray in her lap, kissing her temple.

“You take your pills?”he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good girl.”

She rolled her eyes and dug in to her dinner. It seemed Kitty had been responsible for dinner tonight, judging by the various amounts of vegetables, the burnt chicken and the half cooked rice. She would’ve asked for something else but she was used to Kitty’s weak attempt at cooking. It was much better than Jubilee’s experimental cooking. Logan was a good cook when it came to meat but in the vegetable side of things, he lacked the variety. So far, he’d mastered the various forms of the potato and only the potato. Once she’d finished, she had handed him the tray and climbed out of bed.

“I need to take another pill.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll be fine. Hank thinks it’s better to double my dosage. I’ll be right back. Maybe we can watch a movie… unless you want to sleep early.”
“Actually… I was thinking, maybe I’d sleep here.”
“Here? As in… you move in with me?”
“Yeah… that okay?”

Marie squealed and leapt across the bed, hugging him tightly. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. She moved off him as he let her go and stood up, straightening her top. She reached out and caressed his face, a soft smile on her face. It was unbelievable that he belonged to her. As if he sensed where her thoughts were going, a pressed a kiss to her palm, looking straight into her eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered.
“Scars and all?”

He nodded, his hand tracing a scar on one of her hands. She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and turned around. She hurried out the room, a goofy grin on her face. As she came downstairs, she saw the TV flickering and frowned. All students were meant to be in study time right now, with exams coming up and all that. She walked closer and recognized two girls that were about fifteen, both had arrived here two years ago. She hovered by the door, unsure whether to go in or not. The words she heard come out of one girls mouth made her decide not to.

“Ugh, another cure mutant dead. Like hello? Why did you get it in the first place?”
“Shh, Mr Logan or might hear you.” Whispered the other girl.
“Don’t even get me started, there so many hot girls in the mansion, and he goes for the dying one. Why didn’t they kick her out when she first got here? I mean let’s face it, Rogue never fitted in here.”
“I suppose.”
“She was never even on a x-mission cause they all thought she was so pathetic.”
“She was once, I think.”
“Whatever. I’m surprised she’s lived this long.”
“She smells like death. That's how most people know she's dying.”
“Eww… how do you know that?”
“One of the other students has enhanced senses. You know, that kid with the pointy ears.”
“Oh, yeah. God, what a freak!”

Marie closed her eyes and shook her head. As she turned around, she found Scott standing a little further behind her, a deep frown on his face. He cleared his throat and Marie heard the two girls, squeak in surprise. When she opened her eyes Scott had strode over the girls and pointed to his office. Marie hurried away towards the med-lab, tears falling from her eyes. As the doors started closing, a large hand stopped them and Logan climbed in. He reached out and she fell into his embrace. He whispered soothing words as the elevator descended and she fisted her hands in his shirt, clinging to him.

“Hey.” He whispered.
He reached out and lifted her chin up. She looked at him with watery eyes and he reached out to wipe the tears away.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“I know. I love you too.”
“Don’t give up. Okay?”
“I won’t Logan. I promise.”

For a moment there was sadness in his eyes but it disappeared quickly and there was nothing left but calm reassurance.

---

You're so mean When you talk, About yourself You are wrong. Change the voices In your head Make them like you Instead

She walked into the gym one Saturday morning and smiled as she saw Logan working out. Her smile soon turned into a frown at the aggression he put in every punch. Soon he collapsed to his knees, leaning his forehead against the bag. She hurried over to him and crouched down. She removed his gloves before pulling him into his embrace, rubbing his back in a soothing motion while whispering words of comfort.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he whispered.
“I hate it when you do that, sugar.”
“Do what?”
“Degrade yourself, like you’re not worth my love.”
“Maybe I’m not.”
“Logan... don’t. You are worth so much more than you think."
“I…I feel like you deserve better.”
“Better?”
“Someone stronger. Someone willing to give you everything you deserve and more.”
“Logan, what’s better than being with the man, I’ve always loved?”
“Baby-“
“Wait, I’m not finished. That little voice in your head, the one that says you’re not good enough, stop listening to it. Listen to me instead. I love you. You are my rock, my strength. If you leave me, I’ll go back to the way I was before. Hiding in my room, dragging myself through each day, never experiencing life.”

Logan held tighter onto to her before pulling back and grabbing her hands. There was sadness in his eyes again, laced with naked pain and it tore at her heart. Then, once again, he masked the emotion, displaying the perfect poker face. He stood up and kissed her, long, hard and filled with passion. She smiled as they pulled back to breath and kissed his nose.

“Never gonna leave you.” He whispered.
“Good.”
“I need to see Hank.”
“Thought that was my line.” she giggled.
“Just need to talk to him. Go get some rest.”

She nodded and watched as he grabbed his towel and t-shirt, walking out the gym. She followed a few minutes later, rubbing her neck which ached. Stopping at the elevator, she frowned and turned back, walking towards Hank’s office. She froze as she heard Logan start shouting.

“What do you mean they don’t work… they’ve been working for the past few months.”
“Rogue’s body is becoming resistant to them.” Said Hank calmly.

Marie shook her head and took a step closer. The men stopped talking and the door opened, Logan peeking out. She made sure to keep her face neutral.

“You okay darlin’?”
“I need to talk to Hank. My neck aches and I think it’s the medication.”
Logan nodded before stepping out of the lab and walking towards her.
“Go on in. I need to go take a shower anyway.”
“Umm… okay.”
“Wait here when you’re done, I’ll come get you in half an hour. Then we can go out for dinner.”
“Sure Logan. That sounds great.”
Logan smiled and then walked away, his shoulders slumped, his body filled with tension. He didn’t head to the showers but walked straight into the danger room.

---

The world stares while i swallow the fear The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer So cool in lying and I tried tried But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time

Logan became… different over the next few days. He was there but not there. They would eat their meals together, go for an afternoon walk together and sleep together in their room. But he was always looking away, a frown on his face. Every smile was forced, every hug was long and every kiss screamed of need, longing and goodbye. It was like if he let her out of his sight for too long, she’d disappear. He never mentioned the conversation he’d had with Hank and she’d never mentioned what she overheard. The other day, when she’d asked him if he was okay, he’d just smiled and nodded before leaving the mansion. He’d come back reeking a whiskey and had a little kitten in his pocket. He’d found it dying in an alley and couldn't just leave it to die. Marie had held him tight that night, whispering how grateful she was and how she loved him more than anything.

Sighing, she looked down at the bundle of grey fur in her lap, stroking the little thing and scratching her ears. She’d named the kitten Button because of her flat nose. She looked over to the bed where Logan was asleep. She’d talked to him last night about the whiskey, making him promise not drink it anymore. She was fine with a beer now and then, because it was zapped out by his healing factor, but Logan only drank whiskey to feel numb because after about six bottles, his healing factor slowed and for a few hours he truly felt nothing. He shifted in his sleep, moving from his back to his side, turning away from her. She stood up and pressed a kiss to Buttons head, placing the little thing on the floor, where she immediately shot under the bed. Marie quietly snuck from the room and headed downstairs. She found Hank in the kitchen talking to the Professor. She smiled at both men and took a seat by the island. She noticed their serious expressions and frowned.

“Am I interrupting?”
“Actually Marie, there is something you should know.” Said the professor, his eyes flickering to Hank.
“What is it?”
“Warren received news from his father this morning. They’ve begun operating on cure victims to save them from dying.”
Marie gasped, closing her eyes. She clenched her fists and shook her head in disbelief.
“It’s an experimental procedure and so far only a handful of mutants have signed up.” Explained Hank.
“So this... operation... it would save my life?”
“The suppression drug stopped the cure and your x-gene from combining and causing an adverse reaction. This operation requires them to sedate you where they’ll slow down your heart to lessen the blood flow, before inserting the new experimental drug which is meant to eradicate any traces of the cure.” Said the professor.
“Therefore, disallowing the merging of the cure serum and your x-gene.” Continued Hank.
“And my powers?”
“Would come back.”
“I’ll do it.”
The Professor and Hank shared a look of worry before Hank sighed and shook his head.
“Marie... I know it seems easy but there are complications-“
“I’m dying... the supression drug is not going to work anymore. I heard you tell Logan it was a matter of time before my body rejects it.”
“So this is about Logan?”
“It’s about the fact that it tore me apart to see Logan stumble into the mansion after drinking himself into a stupor. He was so out of it, he didn’t sense me. He blames himself, you know? He hates that he didn’t stop me the day I got the cure. Whether I die or not, I will make damn sure I do everything to stay by his side.”
“Very well, I’ll call Warren.”
“Thank you professor.”
“When do you want it done?”
“As soon as possible.”

---

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel Like you're less then, fuckin' perfect Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel Like you're nothing you're fuckin' perfect, to me

Three days later, Marie had finished talking to Hank about the preparations for her operation when Logan came storming into the med-lab. Marie sighed and nodded at Hank, who excused himself from the room. Logan walked up to her where she sitting on the bed, placing his hands on either side of her.
“Tell me you didn’t do it darlin’.”
“Logan... what have you heard?”
“I heard Warren telling the professor some of his most trusted surgeons from Worthington Industries were coming here to perform an operation.”
“Sugar... I have to-“
“No! No... you can’t... I... we need more time... the suppression drug-”
“Isn’t going to work soon.” She said, laying her hands over his.
“Still... don’t do this for me... I’m not worth it. I’m just an animal...”

He looked away and shook his head. Marie felt tears running down her cheeks and wished there was an easier way. She reached out to turn his face towards her but he merely shook her off. She sighed and placed her hand over his heart.

“Look at me!... Logan! Look at me!... You are the most fucking perfect thing in my life. I love you and I need you to understand that this was my decision.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“I know it doesn’t seem fair… I wish we had more time… but if this operation works… we’ll have forever.”
Logan sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.
“I want to give you everything you want and more, Marie.”
“Then give me your support. I’m scared Logan, but I don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel tired and lethargic, and like I’m going to pass out. I don’t want any more scars from every time I pass out. I want to live.”
“And you will. If this is it what you want, then I’ll be there. I won’t leave your side darlin’."
“Thank you.”
“But Marie…”
“Yeah?”
“First thing when you’re done with your operation, marry me?”
“What?”
“I want to marry you and then have a baby with you.”
Marie smiled and moved her arms around his neck, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
“Yes. Yes of course I’ll marry you.”

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