I'm screwed. I'm seriously fucked and not in the way I would like.

Drying my hair with slight butterflies in my stomach (not nice butterflies either), I am overcome with feelings of being THAT girl. You know, the one who uses guys and tosses them in the garbage when she's done. I don't like being THAT girl, and yet, here I am doing just that.

What can I say? I saw the way HE looked at Jean.

I know he thinks that in order to live with himself in the present, he has to know his past.

I know he doesn't like being tied down, and I would never ask him to do otherwise.

Let's face it, I know him better than anyone else. We would be perfect together if the adamantium wouldn't clog his fucking brain.

I know it's not a crush. If it was, his two year absence would not have a profound effect on me. Instead, these past two years has forced the realization that I'm in love with him.

That's right, I, crazy Anna Marie D'Ancanto, am irrevocably in love with Logan. This is the perfect explanation for why I've agreed to go on a date with Remy "the Womanizer" LeBeau.

Who says I'm insane? I know, everyone. Who cares? I know, no one.

I'm twenty-two years old. I'm legal in every possible way. I've grown up, so in essence my brain finally got through to me that just because HEdidn't see me 'in that way' doesn't mean that every guy is like that.

So, I'm doing what my Momma told me not to do. I'm settling. After about a week of flirting, (courtesy of a few touches from Jubes to hone my flirting skills) I am letting Remy take me out. Let him take me away from those feelings that I'm refusing to acknowledge.

Technically, I am not really using him. He is a nice guy (womanizer that he is), which is why I've asked to meet him at Joe's.

Yup, the neighborhood friendly bar is a wonderful place for a first date. It's not like he's in for a relationship. I know he wants to get in my pants.

Isn't that what every guy wants? (Every guy except Logan, but I'm not going to think of him tonight).

I am now rummaging through my closet looking for something comfortable to wear. Clothes and hair…that's all I have left. I'm good. I'm in control of my feelings. I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MUTANT EVER.

I don't know if that's the truth, but saying it makes me feel better.

Well, if I wasn't then why would Mags the Fag kidnap me years ago?

In trying to find my favorite jeans, I sit back in my new Victoria's Secret lacy bra and panties wondering where I put them. Noticing that my boobs look really perky, I remember I lent my jeans to Jubes.

Speaking of the yellow witch that's my friend, she walks in bubbling about some guy from the frat party who finally called her.

We both still live at the mansion while going to college. We're hoping it will tell Vin Diesel aka the Professor that we want to join the elite X-team. (Plus, living at the mansion totally cuts back on housing costs on campus).

I can already kick ass. I mean, I did tap into a martial arts instructor once. All I got to do is touch someone and they are toast!

Jubes stops when she sees me furiously continue to dig through my closet.

"I'm looking for my good jeans," I mutter to the silence.

She stalks over to her closet and in seconds flings my Kenneth Cole denims at my head.

My amazing reflexes catch the jeans before they can smear my gloss.

I easily pull them on and turn to find a top when I hear it.

*It's not fair. How can she make them look that good?*

Okay, so I really am a powerful mutant. The Chuck E. Cheese (without the E. Cheese) has been helping me. However, in learning to control, I also discovered that I could summon the powers of mutants I've previously touched.

I realized it when one night I wanted to relax. I ran a candle-lit bath, only to find that Jubes had used the hot water. The next thing I knew, I was controlling the fire to heat the water. Johnny boy, who knew you could be so damn useful?

Now, I'm learning to control all those powers in addition to my own. The brief seconds I touched the Professor was enough to get a taste of his powers. It was enough to start building my mental blocks to the telepaths in the mansion as well as my own feelings.

I wasn't ready to reveal my secret because let's face it. If people knew what you were and what you could be, then what would happen? Mags the Fag? Blue Bitch? Most definitely would proceed to attack.

So my control would sometimes slip….can you blame me?

"So you and Remy, huh?"

I shrug.

"I just don't see Remy as the dating type," Jubes remarks.

"I know he's not the dating type," I smile as I pull on a forest green top that clung to my toned body. (I've already got the body to kick ass. Now I just need the uniform).

Jubes' eyes momentarily widen. "So are you going to give it to him?"

"What do you think?" I turn to her in a seductive pose.

She doesn't reply as I begin to pull my hair in a low ponytail.

Well, she is the only friend I have here (especially after Icedick and Bitchcat emotionally shanked me). Ro and Scott are just acquaintances, although I think Stormy would be a great friend if we could hang out more (like not when a certain red-headed, She-Devil, long-legged goddess….. was around. I've got issues, I know).

"Jubes. I need to get out. I need to know how to act with guys because they're dicks….and I need to know the lingo and maybe get some dick," I mutter the last part.

"And you think the Cajun man-whore is better than all those in your head?"

"Jubes, I try to block them all out so that I can still be me. Besides, the only one that's had any experience is Logan. He goes after the cheap class hookers for a quickie." I put my hands on my hip. "I'm a woman of class and I've got to make it last especially with my accursed mutation."

Jubes let out a remorseful smile.

*At least I can touch people.*

I ignore that. I can't keep alienating people unless I want to be old keeping mutant kids as opposed to cats.

"Wanna walk me out?"

She nods as she walks over and styles my white streaks to enhance my sexy high class hooker look.

I grab my jacket as she leads me out with our arms linked.

"So he's not even picking you up?" Jubes scoffs.

"I asked him not to. I'm going to be all alone with a guy and I wanted to calm my nerves before I got there," I say innocently.

Jubes laugh. "You just wanted to take your Baby out. Show off!"

"What can I say?"

We head towards the stairs when we see Miss Suddenly-Brighter Red-Haired-Long-Legged-Goddess-Slash-Devil reach the top of the stairs too.

"After you," I say politely.

She barely nods, but keeps a flirty smile on her face as she heads down gracefully and showing off her extremely long legs.

Noooooooooooooooo! I have long legs, too.

So they're not as long.

Arrrgg!

...so much for feeling good about myself.

I can't stand her. I know I shouldn't feel that way. But she's one of those people who are so perfect and good at everything that you can't help but hate because they're that good.

Like, for instance, she's so perfect, I have wonder how she keeps her legs smooth all the time because I always have to deal with fucking stubble within twenty-four hours. So fucking inconvenient!

Jeanie-the-Red-Genie glides down the steps and I wonder what has her panties in a twist when I smell it.

Not her, obviously. I don't dig chicks, and how uncool is it that less than half the guys in my head do prefer the vag….

Yup, I still have Logan's keen senses, but I didn't need them to tell me who was near.

No. I don't believe it. Not now. I need a distraction.

Thankfully Jubes is here.

"Remember. No sex unless it's safe sex. You don't want the French disease," Jubes quips.

I burst out in laughter and we pass Scott's Master who has strangely bent to pick at some invisible lint on her skirt. Strange woman, I think as Jubes steers me to the door and I wrench it open. The laughter dying in my throat as I realize Jean didn't want to be the one to open the door because that would demean her elegance.

Jubes has frozen beside me and I feel my eyes bulge.

"Logan," Jeannie says. "What a surprise!" She smoothes out her skirt and comes into the foyer.

Jubes has enough sense for us to get out of the way so that Logan and Jean can grope each other.

I am a strong, independent, confident woman. I can do this. I can breathe. I am above this. (I think Jean's persona is coming out. I touched her once during my 'therapeutic sessions.' Is that what she always tells herself?)

They finally pull apart and Logan casually glances at me.

I nod at him because all speech has left me.

"Kid," he says gruffly. His eyes seem surprised as he gives me a second glance, but his posture doesn't betray it.

He smells like cigars, beer and motor oil. His mutton chops are as usual and my fingers itch to run through his pointy hair. So much so that I have to suddenly scratch behind my ear so that my fingers won't visibly twitch.

Jean is still left in his slight embrace. I wonder how Scott would feel right about now.

I hope Logan isn't expecting me to hug him because no way I am doing a group hug with the She-Devil.

Jubes, thank God for her, finally pipes up. "I think if you wait any longer, being fashionably late will fashionably ruin your date."

Logan's eyes widen.

Say something.

"Logan…uh…hi." I croak.

Try again, now.

"It's good to see you. I have to go now and you probably want get some R & R. I'll talk to you later. I'm going to be late and I'm itching to take my Baby out." I say nervously fast.

My heart is beating out of my chest and if everyone can be extra quiet, I'm sure we can all hear the lub-dubs.

I think I saw Logan go bug-eyed, but I can't be sure because Jubes is pushing me outside.

"No sex unless it's safe sex!" Jubes yells out at me. "And be careful with the Baby. We don't want another accident."

I know. I can feel my wrist tingling from where I fractured it.

As I'm leaving, I swear I hear someone growling….Maybe it's all in my head. I salute Jubes as I head to the garage.

Logan's back and I think I handled it pretty well…yes, I did.

My heart resumes its normal rhythm and I take a deep breath to ground myself. I do not need those fuzzy, hopeful feelings bubbling up now.

I'm good. I'm strong.

I swing my long legs (though not as long as Jean's) over my Baby. Running my fingers over the handles and the body of the bike I slaved six months over building, I focus on my date tonight.

"Baby, Baby, Baby," I call to my bike as I gun the engine. Shit! Why I am channeling Bieber?

Thanks to my secondhand Logan's knowledge and Scott's expertise, I built an efficient and striking bike.

Hmmm…maybe Scott is floating in that area between acquaintance and friend, especially if he didn't spend so much time being Jean's bitch.

I look across the garage as I notice Scott's old bike (the one Logan borrowed). Pulling on my helmet, I smile to myself before I suddenly realize that someone has touched my Baby. That is a big NO-NO. No one touches my bike unless they want to be zapped and unconscious for days.

Leaning closer, I sniff.

A faint smell of cigars is present…meaning Logan must have touched my Baby.
________________________________________________________________________

I pull up to Joe's running quite late. Remy probably believes I've stood him up. Well, I hope he's still here.

This probably isn't his cup of tea (this was just a place to chill, not high-stakes gambling), but either way, I'm itching for a bottle of Molson's. However, I'm not going to embarrass myself by getting drunk and singing "I've got the power," on the tables…again.

I enter the bar and am greeted with a round of "MARIEs." So, I'm a regular. They know my face ever since I walked in on my twenty-first birthday and was able to legally quench my thirst for Molson's.

"Maria," Jose, the hot Hispanic bartender, approaches me. "Como estas?"

"Bien," I reply as he already hands me a bottle. Jose has grown used to me.

In fact, he was the one who carded me on my birthday. I was nervous and he found my white streaks fascinating as he glanced at my ID. Since then, he has never stopped making fun of them, but I love Jose all the same. He's like the brother you never had.

Jose smiles at me. "You have someone waiting for you." He nods to the corner where I see Remy with two empty bottles already.

Remy, I must admit, is looking quite attractive tonight. I feel like I wield such enormous power because I can give him what he wants tonight…or not.

He's watching me with his sexy red eyes. I head over to the booth and easily slide in while shedding my jacket.

"Hey," I say.

"Chere, you've been keeping da Remy waiting," he smiles.

I melt. I've always had a guy's perspective on the mating dance. No one ever told me that when a hot guy smiles at you, your knees suddenly go weak.

It's not like it's a fairytale love, but just feeling wanted (even if it's not the person you want) is enough.

Remy spends the next hour shamelessly flirting with me and I blush in all the right places. I'm glad there's someone who wants to be with me. I am settling, but at least I'm settling for a damn hot motherfucker.

Maybe I'll sleep with him tonight. I've listened to his thoughts before and he does have some creative ideas (although not as creative as the ones I've had about Logan).

Then I remember. I'm using Remy and I feel guilty.

Let's just finish this out and then I can shamefully avoid him.

By now, Remy is saying something really sweet and I let him touch my fingers. He interlaces our fingers and moves to get closer.

Oh shit, now he's really close and I can smell the alcohol we've been drinking between us. I can even see the deep reds of his eyes. He brings his other hand to caress my white streaks.

"I know you've been practicing," he whispers. I find myself shivering as his Cajun accent travels down my spine. "How long can you hold it?"

I answer truthfully, "About ten minutes."

He nods, "Then I promise to make this the best ten minutes ever."

My head vibrates in apprehension.

Remy takes the moment to brush his lips against mine.

Congratulations Remy LeBeau, you are now the third person to be kissing my crazy ass…er…lips.

My mutation really is a bitch to hold back. I don't know if the control will get easier or I'll just get used to the bitchiness.

"Just relax," he whispers.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

Remy returns to my lips. He brings his top lip between mine and allows me to slip my tongue into his mouth.

He pulls me closer and I love this feeling: getting kissed while being wrapped up in a man's arms surrounded by a haze of beer and Remy's cheap-assed cologne.

At this point and I've decided I could die a happy woman because I finally know what a true kiss feels like.

No coma…no frost-bitten lips…

The only person I'm hurting is myself because I'm really not free to let myself go and kiss the living daylights out of him.

Remy does something funny with his tongue and it feels good. No wonder they call him The Ladies' Man. I mean if he can kiss this well than it makes me wonder about the rest.

Then again, maybe I don't really know. I've had little PHYSICAL experience in the testosterone department, so I'm probably not as knowledgeable as I think.

Things are getting a little frisky now. My hands are running up and down Remy's wiry and powerful arms and his are caressing…kneading the flesh around my waist.

Way to make me feel weight conscious right now; I've been working so hard on getting rid of my love handles.

Remy dips my head resulting in a well timed arch in my back so that my boobs strain against his chest. Thank God that we are in the corner booth because he gently presses me into the back of the booth so that the surface area of my body is fully in contact with his.

Maybe I said my thanks too early because quite suddenly, I hear someone gruffly clear a throat.

Remy and I momentarily break away and I have found that for the second time tonight, speech has left me.

"Logan," I gasp while trying to regain my composure, breath, and wipe Remy's saliva off my chin.

Logan's eyes are cold and his face is slowly hardening. I don't know if it's towards Remy or me.

"Remy," Remy introduces himself and I don't know if that's a good thing or bad either.

Logan barely acknowledges it. "Your skin." He states it. I know he's really questioning me.

I can't meet his eyes and I slowly glance over him to where Jose (looking like Antonio Banderas) is looking at me with interest.

"She has some control," Remy says proudly running his fingers through my hair.

Ugghh! Suddenly, I found kissing him revolting.

Maybe it's because Logan has caught me and I can't decipher how he feels about me.

I mentally unleash my telepathic abilities, which goes against every moral fiber of my being. (NOT! I mean like WTF; I'm sure Jean does it all the time.)

*What the hell is she thinking? Doesn't she know that guys like him are only here for one thing? Whatever happened to her and that Beer-Chiller anyway? Now, him—*

I pull back and am suddenly filled with anger. Counting to ten in my head like a good psych patient with my eyes closed, I open them to find both men staring at me intently.

"Logan," I smile, "I thought we were gonna catch up later?" That's the way…smooth…sophisticated….(almost like Jean).

Logan seems thrown off. "I just needed a drink." And just like that he turns and heads to the back near the pool tables.

I stare after him until I feel Remy's heated gaze on me.

Turning, I see eye to eye with some deep fucking red.

Then I'm hit with a wave of feelings of how much I hate the color red. It reminds me of Miss Goody-Two-Shoes (the Devil in Prada) and how I shouldn't hate her because she's so good.

"Where were we, Chere?" He nuzzles my neck.

I find it disgusting. How are you supposed to let a guy down easily?

"Remy, this isn't going to work." Nice. Smoother than before.

He looks slightly put off. "I know your friend sort threw us off, but I know how to get you on again." He does that nuzzling thing again.

"No. Remy, I'm just not interested." I shrug.

Now, he's starting to look pissed. "This whole week –

"Courtesy of Jubes. I'm a horrible flirt and not the girl you're looking for," I make a move to get up when an idea suddenly forms. "You might want to chat her up though. She'll make it worthwhile." She is my friend and I do owe her one (for what I'm not sure yet, but I feel like it).

I head over to the bar where Jose is looking uninterested, but really waiting for me to talk about what just happened.

I barely hear Remy leave and I know Logan is now playing pool with some slut in the back who's just letting it all hang out.

"So what was that all about?" Jose asks as I hop on a stool and run my fingers through his dark, thick and wavy hair.

"You remember that story I told you?"

He nods.

I point to Logan and say, "He's that guy."

"That guy?"

"Shhh! He can hear you," I mouth, but I know Logan is now looking over here with interest.

Jose is quiet for a second and intensely watches Logan, who can't seem to make what's going on, yet.

"He feels very strongly for you," Jose whispers.

Did I forget to mention? Jose is a mutant, too. He's an empath and can set the atmosphere according to his moods.

"Yeah, but not the way I want," I mutter.

"You'd be surprised," he says.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your friend is a very private person. I can't get a good reading on him, but his feelings for you—they're strong and unexplainable."

That bubbles of inside of me and I can't describe the feeling. I sit there contemplating Jose's words as he pours a drink for the next person.

"I'm heading out," I say quietly. I hop off the stool and Jose nods at me.

I see Slut-Face rubbing against Logan who catches my eyes for a second. I break contact and head outside to the place where I can feel better—on the back of my Baby.

I swing my legs over and am beginning to pull my helmet on when I hear the door to the bar open and close. In two seconds, I feel his presence beside me.

"I didn't know this bike was yours."

I lower my helmet. "It's my Baby."

Logan's eyes widen in realization and he smirks.

That sexy smirk. The cocked eyebrow. The sexy smirk with the cocked eyebrow. That cocky bastard. I wonder how his cock would feel.

Let's not go down the road that-will-never-happen again.

His eyes suddenly darken. "What accident?"

I know what he's referring to. "After Scott and I finished building it, I took it out for a test spin. I crashed and got my wrist fractured." I shrug at him.

"Marie," he breathes. He reaches out for my streaks and he's the third person tonight to touch them. However, his touch is different. He moves from my hair to cup my cheeks. There's nothing romantic about his gesture. Merely, his touch is comforting in contrast to the image he constantly projects. "You've changed so much."

I nod. Then unfortunately stifle a yawn. Stupid fucking me.

He still has his eyebrow quirked.

"I'm heading back. I'm tired. Can we talk tomorrow?" Why do I always have to ruin the moment?

He nods. "Want me to take you back?"

"Sorry, I like my quality time with the Baby," I say as I put my helmet back on. I push the bike forward and am just about to step on it when Jose bursts outside.

"Maria, you forgot your bag," Jose tosses it to me and Logan stiffens when he hears my name from someone else.

Jose is already turning back inside when he yells over his shoulder, "Nice ass."

Thanks, I know. I start the bike and head away, glad that the helmet covers my blush and I feel Logan's eyes on my backside until I'm out of the area.

I wasn't lying when I said I need quality time with my Baby. I need the time to think.

In two years, I realized that I loved Logan and that he wouldn't love me back.

However, Jose says there's something there, but he couldn't get a good reading. I could just probe Logan's mind further, but I love him and respect his privacy not to bother.

I couldn't properly be attracted to another man unless I had someone else's traits or flirting skills.

I'm screwed. I thought two years was enough to have control over myself, but my love for Logan is something I can't control.

I mull over this and chew my lip till it bleeds and heals on my way back to the mansion.

Finally pulling into the garage, I take out a cloth to wipe my Baby down and hang up my helmet when I hear a toilet flushing.

We now have a bathroom in the garage. It's something our fearless leader had installed because of his obsession with anything that has wheels. He says it was so that he didn't leave oil footprints in the halls.

In actuality, if you don't want to run back to your room to take a leak, then just say so.

Speaking of him, Scott steps out the bathroom and starts a little when he sees me. I know, I've caught him in a private moment. Everyone knows that Scott only spends Friday nights in the garage when he and Jean have a tiff. I know tonight it was probably about Logan.

"How's she running?" Scott asks as he feels the heated engine. I only let him touch Baby because he did help me build her.

"Great," I say.

Scott stands there lost in thought and I wish I could see his eyes to know what he was feeling. I let my guard down.

*Why do I have to try so hard? I know she's beautiful but she doesn't have to put it out there. Am I not enough?*

I immediately withdraw. "Scott," and before I can hold my tongue, "Do you ever wonder if Jean listens to your thoughts?"

Scott looks up. We're having a moment here and I guess that compels him to answer. "She used to listen all the time when she couldn't control it. Now she respects my privacy."

Oh. Privacy again. I suddenly feel like I've intruded. I once heard that if you love someone, it should be enough to let them go. I think Scott should let Jean go. If she loved him, then she would come back and try harder. I'm trying the same thing with Logan, but that someone didn't say how much your heart would fucking hurt.

I nod my head and my eyes catch Remy's car. Ugh…red.

Suddenly my tongue is loose again. Before I couldn't get it out, now I can't keep it in.

"Don't you ever get tired of red?"

"Huh?"

"I mean you see red all the fucking time. I would think you'd hate the color, but you're in love with a red-head who loves her red," I say. Way to make him feel better.

Scott's now looking at me funny. I should leave before he starts the watch-your-language lecture.

"Forget I said that. I'll just be leaving now," I turn away.

"Wait."

I turn around and Scott weakens. I think I may have just found a new friend. Scott reaches down and pulls me a brotherly and tenderly embrace...

Just in time for a certain feral to enter the premises.

I can hear the faint growl that escapes him. Like what the fuck is up with him constantly growling at me?

Scott stiffens as I pull away.

Logan seems mad. "Don't mind me." He tosses at us.

"No, well you seemed to have killed the moment." Did I really just say that?

I can sense the twitch in Logan as he turns and heads inside.

"I'll see you around, Scott," I say as I pat him on the shoulder and turn to head inside as well.

I head up to my room and am about to open the door when I hear the bed squeak and subsequent moaning.

"Come on, chere." That's Remy. Damn, he's fast! Womanizer…womanizer….Oh great, now I'm channeling Britney Spears. Fuck!

Another feminine moan. Definitely Jubes. I knew she had it in her.

Guess I won't be sleeping there tonight. I head back down towards the kitchen and rummage through the fridge until I find a random bottle of Gerber baby juice.

What the hell? Do we have a baby around here?

…I wonder how that shit tastes. There's only a little left so I grab the bottle and head to the rec room.

It's Friday and because everyone's out I can catch my Zzzz here and then head back to my sexed up room in the morning.

I down the bottle of tasteless liquid and toss the bottle into the trash can. I shed my jacket and roll into a comfortable position on the couch.

Baldy sure does have taste and money because this couch is nice and comfy. I just start to drift off when there's a clang of a bottle and the light harshly hits my eyes. I sit up.

"Oh, sorry….kid?"

"Logan, what a surprise." I say not even disguising the sarcasm in my voice.

Never mess with me when I'm attempting to sleep.

Logan quirks his ever famous sexy eyebrow and heads over to my couch.

"The least you could do is dim the lights," I snap as I put my jacket over my face. "I mean you're just here to watch a hockey game aren't you? You don't need bright lights for that shit. And can't you see in the dark?"

I hear Logan's breathing hitch. "Whoa, kid. Where is all this coming from? I'm sorry I ruined your date and all…

I hear him get up and dim the lights.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asks.

"Sleeping," I mumble while finally peeking at him.

He's not looking at me though. He is, but just not where you would expect.

I look down and realize that in my tossing and turning, my top had rolled up and exposed my in-the-process-of-being-toned abs.

I discreetly roll my top down and pull the jacket off my face to see that his eyes have snapped back to my face.

"Don't you have a room to do that in?" he asks.

"There's a guy in there," I say and sit up.

Logan looks mad again.

"Chill out. He and Jubes are going at it. There's no way I'm sleeping there tonight," I laugh at his expression.

My heart momentarily flares. Was he jealous? Or was he being overprotective?

He nods and turns to the game. That's how he spent the next few hours as I dozed. Several times I came too to see him watching me, but then I was so tired I didn't think about analyzing his looks.

That was us catching up. Sitting on a couch with him drinking beer and watching the game while I dozed.
_____________________________________________________________________

I wake up with a huge blanket covering me. I guess Logan was ever the gentleman last night. I head up to my room and turn the corner just in time to see Remy exit mine and head towards his.

Entering the room to see Jubes lounging on bed in her post-sex euphoria, I see her freeze.

"I don't care," I say to her.

"Good, because I didn't want this to come between us," she says.

"I just figured I was using him as an outlet and I didn't want to use someone for a rebound type thing," I say honestly.

"Gotcha, chica."

I smile and head to the bathroom for a nice, long shower before Jubes steals the hot water. Scrubbing all the make-up cakes and grime, I come out fresh and smelling like jasmine.

Pulling out my yoga pants and a tank top, I settle in my room for the rest of the day catching up on some schoolwork. I didn't even realize that I had not gone down to eat until Jubes brought me a sandwich late afternoon.

I hungrily gulp that down and study for an upcoming physiology test before heading out for a run.

The whole time I loop around the vast mansion, I feel someone's eyes on my back. I scan the windows until I see Logan standing beside his. He's staring at me hard and I just wave back at him. He barely acknowledges it and just as I start to turn away I see him turn and say something.

The next thing I know, Jean's standing beside him.

I shake my head and finish up my run.

If anything, spending time with Logan last night made me realize that he would never see me in that way. He was just being overprotective. Because if there was something between us, we would have shagged right then and there on the couch.

I take another shower and avoid heading down to eat. Just because I've hit THAT realization doesn't mean I'm ready to face them.

I'm drying my hair when I hear voices out in the hall. I concentrate on Logan's senses and my hearing picks up Scott and Ororo.

"Have I ever told you that you have bright hair?" Scott says cheerily. "I know I can't see the actual color, but it stands out."

Ro's heart skips a beat.

"I just so much time with red that I never got a feel for other colors...the brightness...the hue. Never got to do what I wanted because I was too scared to leave what I always knew."

I feel Ro nod her head in understanding.

There's a bump and I surmise that they have bumped into each other.

I turn down my senses. Have I unofficially become a matchmaker of some sort?

I walk over to my desk and pull out my calculus homework.

Maybe I'm supposed to be by myself.

(After all, I'm a strong, independent, confident, woman. Jean stay down.)

Two hours later, I'm still working on a calculus problem. I've spent the past hour studying the graph on my TI-83 Plus calculator and still haven't solved the area under the curve.

I need a distraction. Thank Jubes to the rescue.

She barges in with the words, "You'll never believe what you missed today!"

"What?" I turn hoping that getting my mind off the problem will thereby solve it.

"Summers and Grey have called it quits. Scott's now flirting with Storm and Jean threw herself at Logan," she practically bounces. She gets high from gossip.

I need to find myself a drug.

Logan finally got what he wanted. I accept that. I am the better person for letting him be happy instead of throwing myself at him and ruining our bond.

Way to be fucking mature.

"That's good, I guess. Everyone gets what they want," I say.

"No, they don't," Jubes bounces again. "Logan said no and I think Jean's having a breakdown."

"Say what?"

Jubes nods.

"But she's Miss Perfect. Why would he say no?"

"No idea. But she hasn't left her room since this afternoon."

Apparently, she had gone to him when I was running.

"Too bad. I think they would have evened each other out," I mutter.

"What do you mean?"

She caught that? I guess when gossip is your drug you have some damn fine tuned ears.

"Like she's graceful and he's wild. They would have rubbed off each other," I say accepting what could have happened.

"Whatever." Jubes rolls her eyes. Good thing she's not starting the Logan discussion again. "I'm going to Remy's room. See you later," and with that, Jubes leaves.

I check the time. It's only ten. I get up and pull on my nightgown and brush my teeth. Halfway through brushing, I finally figure out my calculus problem and run to my desk.

There I was with my brush stuck in my mouth and studying my calculator when the door swings open.

I jump and see Logan standing in my doorway. He stands there for a second when I hear his loudly projecting thoughts.

*You. You. Marie. You.*

"You."

"Huh?" I mumble with the brush still in my mouth.

Logan doesn't say anything, shakes his head and turns around, closing the door.

It takes me ten seconds to spit, rinse, and run after him. I freeze in the hall and sense he's gone to his room.

I run after him and knock violently on his door before opening it myself.

"What is 'you' supposed—

I'm cut off by a bruising kiss.

Is this for real? Logan? Kissing me?

My hands fumble with the nightgown at my sides when the pull begins.

I immediately draw back. It's always taken Logan a little longer to respond to my mutation.

"You caught me by surprise," I say. "I didn't have time to hold it back."

He is silent.

A weight leaves my shoulder as my body takes control of itself. Rushing him, I immediately glue my lips to his and wrap my arms around his neck.

Logan barely has time to ask "How long?"

"Ten minutes. Depends on how good my concentration is," is my muffled response against his lips.

For once, I let myself go. I am not worried about my mutation...it's LOGAN!

I don't even think about how right this feels. I just do.

Pushing my body into his, I reach to cup his face as he nibbles my lips and pries my mouth open.

It feels so wonderful that I move to throw my head back and Logan kisses my throat and down to my neck. His brief kisses tickle me and I shudder more into his embrace.

Logan's raggedly warm breath across my skin leaves me in whimpers. His hands move from around me to back and sides and then…

"Whoa!" I jump back. Logan locks me in an lustful intense gaze of hazel sexiness.

"What?"

"Nothing…it's just that no one has grabbed my ass like that." Well, no one ever grabs my ass...period.

Logan smirks. He comes forward as I take a step back, making my back come into contact with the door.

Logan encases me between his body and the door. He takes a deep breath as he stares at me intently. Just when I wonder what the hell he plans on doing, he leans forward so that we are forehead to forehead.

His eyes are closed and I pointedly stare at his long, brown eyelashes.

Logan opens his eyes, smiles at me before placing a kiss on my forehead. He then proceeds to pull me deeper in his arms and starts to...sniff my hair?

Sniffing my hair is something I don't remember any one ever doing. I quickly try to remember which shampoo I used this time, but…

"Oooh…that feels good…" I breathily moan as he moves my hair out of the way and starts alternating between and licking, biting and kissing my neck.

We are so close together that I can feel every inch of his hardness against me. His wife-beater clad chest with springy hairs make my nipples just so goddamn sensitive. Muscular hips encased in denim rub my pelvis. And oh yeah…let's not forget about that hardening bulge.

Maybe the bulge is the trigger because I reach for his hands that are resting on my waist and place them straight on my boobs so that he can feel my straining nipples under my nightgown.

Logan pulls back and looks at me, shocked that I would take some initiative.

No more Miss Nice Roguey!

I smile at him, egging him to give attention to my twins.

And thank you Lord, he is massaging them. Circling them. Now he's licking them and there are wet spots on the front of my nightgown.

My hands stop him (damn you, hands) as I slowly push him backwards towards his bed. I put my hands on the bottom of his wife-beater and Logan continues to take it off. When the back of his knees come to the foot of the bed, I push him backwards.

The bed makes a painful groan under his metallic weight.

Logan is watching me intently and I suddenly pull off my nightgown. I have no idea who is in control tonight.

Logan's eyes fall to my breasts and (still with my panties on) I climb on top of him, settling the very core of my being on top of his bulge.

His groan reverberates around the room. I lean forward until my nipples graze his abdomen and continue upwards. His chest hair ignites every sensory receptor I have as I move my face upwards to kiss him.

My fingers finally run through the points in his hair and I let my fingers graze and massage his scalp, but his pointy hair is steadfast in being…pointy.

I move my lips to kiss all around his face and then stop to rub the side of my face against his coarse muttonchops before whispering in his ear, "There's something I want to do…"

Logan merely growls in response.

My fingers move down to his jeans and when I undo his buckle, the clink is like music to my ears

"Are you sure?"

This time, my response meets him at his lips.

My fingers deftly undo his button and zipper as Logan laps at my mouth.

His jeans sit snug on his hips and I break our kiss and roll over on my side.

Logan's out of his jeans in milliseconds.

I roll back on top of him and he pulls me down for a quick kiss before letting me go. However, his eyes silently ask the question of whether I want to do this.

I immediately move down to his erect cock. Massaging his inner thighs, I lean forward to kiss the tip where pre-cum has already begun to accumulate.

Logan grunts the second my lips make contact.

I start to lick his length (and it is a mighty length) as my fingers move to cup his balls.

Logan begins making a myriad of sounds and lets out an "OH shit!" in one hot, heavy breath when I engulf as much as I can of him.

I suck, I lick, (and oh fuck) it is satisfying to finally be doing this.

Logan holds the back of my head in place; I don't really mind because I like the view.

Just when I think he is ready to explode and I ready myself to swallow, he loosens his grip and painfully removes me from my newly found treasure.

"I want to be inside you," he heaves.

Makes sense….

He brings me up and I sit in his lap with my legs on either side of him.

My control is starting to wane. I grab his hands.

"Too much skin," I breathe against him, "I don't think I can control it for long."

He nods understandingly and captures my lips in a searing kiss as one of his hands makes its way into my panties.

When he touches me, I whimper in his mouth. When his finger teases my puckered and dripping opening, I nearly bite his lip.

I can't wait any longer. I need him before my mutation roars back and then I'll be left highly unsatisfied.

"Now, Logan," I rasp in his ear.

In seconds, he lets out a claw and rips my panties as I raise my hips slightly.

With one hand, he cups the base of my head so that I am angled downwards with an intense view into his eyes. His other hand positions himself.

Locking into one another's gaze, I nod in compliance and Logan pushes in.

I am surprised at the initial thrust. It's tight and he's huge.

Both of Logan's hands are at my waist; mine are digging into his shoulders.

He begins thrusting upward while digging his fingers into my hips. Those are going to leave bruises no doubt.

Logan continues to thrust and when I think I'm ready, I piston my hips downwards, making the slap of skin echo in his room.

Pressure starts building up at the base of my stomach and his fingers are everywhere.

"That's it baby. ...Come on, Marie... Almost there," Logan grunts.

He continues to grunt and every time his mouth comes open, I lean forward to press open-mouthed kisses everywhere.

I feel like I'm going to explode soon and I see the beginning of the proverbial white lights, fireworks, stars, and what-the-fuck-ever.

"Oh….Logan….I….uh…"

As I'm coming down from my high, Logan reaches his.

His eyes remain closed for several minutes and we remain like that.

Finally, he opens his eyes and gives me a lazy smile.

Logan lays me down beside him and then pulls me closer as I try to regain my breath.

Soon enough, we both drift off into sleep.
________________________________________________________________________

I wake up in the early hours of the morning to see Logan is still asleep. I'm still a little sore, but I burrow closer into him.

That's when the realization hit me.

Logan and I had sex. We had sex.

SEX! His penis was just inside me.

And I love Logan.

We had sex.

I love Logan, but he doesn't love me.

My heart freezes in my chest. There was no way that the Logan I knew and loved would have sex that easily with me.
Something must have happened.

He was going to leave. He was going to blame himself. My mind rushed through every plausible scenario.

Don't panic. Don't panic. Okay, I'm panicking.

Shaking, I slowly get out of the bed, grab my nightgown that was laying under me, and silently pad to the door.

Thank you, Kitty for this, I think as I phase through the door.

Actually, don't thank that bitch- that was what happened when you backstabbed me.

I silently head towards my room and quietly enter while I adjust my nightgown. So deep in my thoughts, I didn't notice Jubes' shoes, trip, and land in a heap on the floor.

Jubes immediately sits up.

"Where have you been?" she screeches.

I get up and painfully rub my shin.

"A guy," Jubes says like a know-it-all.

I nod.

"Hey, did you get your period early?"

"No, why?" I ask.

Jubes points to the side of my gown. I look at it.

Realization dawns on Jubes as the full weight of what happened crashes to me.

Unknowingly, tears spring to my eyes.

"It's okay," I hear Jubes soothe as she gets out of bed and heads over to me.

She holds me as now I'm full out sobbing because I just gave my virginity to a guy who would never know the extent of my feelings and would be gone in a few hours.

Jubes holds me until my tears dry. I stumble into the bathroom and shed the gown. I have half a mind to burn it, but I don't want Jubes to know about my other powers yet.

Jubes looks on with sympathy as I step into the stall and try to wash away everything I ever felt for him. I step out and Jubes (she's a really good friend) hands me my robe and towel.

"It'll be alright," she whispers.

I nod.

I spend the rest of the morning in my room trying to re-grab the epiphany for my calculus problem.

Jubes drops by with some pancakes. Nothing like some sugary sweetness to get over losing your virginity.

I am halfway through my second pancake when my door swings open.

"Did you plan on coming back to me?" Logan bursts through.

"What?" I suddenly find myself nervous.

I mean big adamantium laced guy is occupying your doorway. Don't forget that he is furious.

"Was that it? Just like that Cajun, your Hispanic friend, and who the fuck else," Logan spits.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say as I put my plate on my desk.

"Did you think you can just fuck me like those other guys and leave?"

Now, I'm mad. "Who the hell do you think you are? One, you started this last night. And two, I never fucked those guys. You're the first."

Logan looks shocked.

"And by the way, as I woman I don't think you should say that to me because you fuck women all the time and leave."

Any higher and Logan's eyebrows would disappear.

"I left because I didn't think you wanted me to stay," I finally manage that.

"Why would you think that?" Logan asks trying to make sense of something.

"Well, the shocked look that I gave you my virginity tells me you'll be leaving soon. And I know you, there is no way you would just have sex with me like that. Something must have happened. I refuse to be your replacement for Jean even though I can't fathom why you told her no."

Logan suddenly has a look of pride swelling into his chest.

"I'm the first," he says, closing the door. "I'm the only and I'm the last."

"Huh?"

"I gave in easily because that's what you do when you've found the 'one,'" now he's stepping closer towards me, "I told Jean no because she was fun to toy with. But it's always you. It always has been you."

Now he's inches away from me and I know that's his way of saying 'I love you.'

"I love you," I breathe out just as he crashes his lips against mine.

Maybe I won't burn the nightgown.

I might just frame it as proof of our love — well, at least in my mind because I don't think a bloody nightgown would make a nice dining room hanging.