Rogue watched as Jean's body was lowered into the ground. All the team was gathered around the grave site, some in tears, some with solemn pained faces, some who hadn't known Jean looked on with compassion, feeling for their friends at the loss of their friend. Rogue was dressed all in black, even wearing a black hat with a dark veil to hide her face so no one would recognize her. She had been gone for ten years now. Presumably dead, after the terrible explosion that had destroyed an entire compound. The compound that had been one of Rogue's first few missions. What the team hadn't know was that it had been a set up by the government to grab her. In fact it was William Stryker that ordered her capture. The same man who had given Logan his metal skeleton and claws. Rogue mourned for Jean, but she mourned for Logan more. He had loved Jean, and now was having to say good-bye to yet another love one was hard for him. Rogue could feel the sadness radiating off of him. Knowing that she would always love Logan, even though he had chosen and loved Jean, Rogue had wanted to be here, even if she had no plans of revealing herself.


Logan stood off from the gathering, but not far. The service was being held on the mansion grounds. Logan had brought Jean's body back from Canada to be buried with her family and friends. He had cared deeply for Jean, and it hurt to know that she was gone, but as he watched her body being lowered in the open grave, his heart mourned for another special woman that he had loved. Logan glanced around the mansion, and remembered all the times he had spent here. Out of all the memories that he had of the place with himself, Jean, and the others, only one face stood out more in his mind that any other, Marie's. His mind was filled with all the times they had spent together either hanging out, him teaching her out to fight, or them fighting among themselves. Her face which still haunted his mind and his heart. Logan had realized years ago that he had been in love her. However she was long gone as well. The explosion had taken her away from him. He hadn't know he loved her at the beginning. It was only some years later when he couldn't put her from his mind, or his heart. He found himself yearning for her, yearning to be in her company, to hear her laughter, to be the only one she really trusted to touch her without fear.


Yes, he had loved Jean, but it had been more lust at first than love. When they had first left the mansion together, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. However the fiery passion cooled after a couple of years, and they settled into a relationship where they spend more time apart than they did together. Jean working with a research medical lab, while Logan had gone to work logging.


Five years away, and he had started realizing he missed Rogue more and more. She was occupying his thoughts most of the day, and most of his nights. He believed that Jean had started suspecting, even though she never evaded Logan's mind knowing how he hate anyone in his head. It wasn't long after that, that the call had come in about the explosion, and Rogue's death. Logan had gone ballistic, and inconsolable. They had returned to the mansion to help with the clean up, and for Logan to be there to say good-bye to Rogue, if to nothing but her grave. The fire had been so bad, that their had been no body to bury. Once Jean and Logan returned to Canada, Logan became more reclusive that before, but Jean remained with him, feeling he needed someone. It took a year for Logan to get back to his normal routine, if not his normal self. Jean spent most her time involved in her work, and Logan spent most of his time working, or at the bars drinking and fighting. A year before Jean had died from an accident at the medical lab, Logan had realized that he wasn't being fair to Jean. He had taken her from her family and friends in New York, and had married her, not Rogue. Realizing he needed to do better by her, he apologized for not being there for her. Jean had forgiven him, knowing that he was truly sorry for not being what she needed, if not sorry for loving Rogue more. She knew he loved Rogue, but she had cared for Logan, had even married him. Scott, the real love of her life was now married to Ro and had a child. There was nothing back in New York for her. At least in Canada she had a job she enjoyed, and Logan did care for her, and did love her in some way. He may not be in love with her, but he did love her. So she chose to hold on to what she had, learning it's sometimes better to appreciate what you have, instead of wanting something else.

Chapter 2

As the funeral drew to a close, and the mansion residents started to move inside, Scott approached Logan. Everyone who knew the history between the two men watched with nervous tension.
Logan watched One-eye approach him, and he wanted to growl out a get lost warning, but Logan knew that Scooter was hurting too. He had been in love with Jean deeply before she had left him to be with Logan. So Logan held his tongue ,waiting for the younger man to approach.

Scott stood rigid in front of the gruff man for a few tense moments, before holding out his hand toward him to shake.
Logan stood from the tree, removed the cigar from his mouth, and looked at Scooter's extended hand, then up to the man's face to see if the man was being for real. Logan couldn't smell anything, but sadness coming from the younger man. His expression was tense, mixed with pain. Logan took Scott's outstretched had in what could only be called a gentlemen's handshake.

"I'm sorry for your loss Logan." Scott spoke solemnly, but sincerely before turning back toward where Ro, and their little girl were waiting for him.
Logan stood rooted to the spot as he watched Scott walk away. He had never expect it from the younger man, knowing how Scott had hated Logan's guts.

"Will you be joining us inside Logan?" Charles asked wheeling his chair in front of the stunned man. "This is still your home." Charles reassured.
Shaking off his surprised, Logan looked to Charles. "I don't think so Chuck. I'll just say my good byes now, and be on my way. There's to many memories to haunt me here." Logan said honestly, thinking of both Rogue and Jean.
"They wouldn't want you to be alone in your time of pain, Logan. We are your family, no matter how much you try to keep your distance. Rogue especially wouldn't want you to be alone."

"Yeah well, she's not here is she?" Logan growled out more shorter than he meant. "Sorry Chuck, I'm just not good company right now." Logan sighed sticking his cigar back in his mouth, taking a long drag off of it to calm himself.

"She, as well as Jean will always be here with us Logan, in spirit, if not in body." Charles said compassionately as he looked over at the two head stones. The first one reading. "Rogue, a dear friend who touched our hearts." Jean's reading, "A wonderful woman, friend, and wife, who was loved by all."

Logan stared down at the two head stones, and knew that both sayings were true. Both were wonderful women who everyone loved. Rogue had touched his heart, a heart that had been frozen over. She had melted the ice, and taught him how to feel again.

"I know you loved her Logan, but she would not want you living in pain, and regret." Charles said softly.

"Stay out of my head Chuck. I know Jeannie wouldn't want me to, she didn't like seeing anyone in pain." Logan said blowing out a lung full of smoke.

"I was referring to Rogue, Logan." Charles said solemn, but also knowingly.

"How long have you've known?" Logan growled annoyed his thoughts weren't his own.

"I didn't have to read your mind, my friend. You have projected your feelings more than once through out the years. To answer your question, I knew for sure the day you came back after the explosion. However, I had suspected for sometime before, but was never positive. Seeing how I do not go into other's private thoughts." Charles said seriously.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter now does it? She's gone." Logan stated flatly. Nothing matter anymore, life held no pleasure for him. Not that Logan believed he deserved any. He had been a fool. Rogue had given him her love, but he had chosen lust instead. He had let the one person who loved him, all of him, animal and all, slip through his grasp. Rogue had been the only person, to ever want him, just because of him. Not for lust, protection, power, or for any other reason, except love.

"I'm sorry, Logan.” Charles said solemnly. He could feel Logan despair over loosing Rogue, the one person who had been the world to him. “Just know that we are here for you if you should need us for anything. This will always be your home, and you will always be welcome."

"Thanks Chuck." Logan said genuine, reaching out and shaking Chuck's hand.

"Your welcome, my friend." Charles said then left Logan to himself, so he could say his final good-byes to the two women he had loved.

Chapter 3

Logan was saying his final farewells to Jeannie and Marie, when he notice the lone figure standing near the woods dress in black from head to toe. The black veil over her face preventing him from seeing who she was. Curious he took a sniff to try, and recognize a scent, but the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, sending her scent away from him. When he took a step in her direction, she slipped into the woods disappearing from sight. Logan growled annoyed, he didn't need this. He started to just forget about the woman, and get going, until the breeze shifted, and an all to familiar scent invaded his nose.

"It can't be! Marie?" Logan whispered stunned. Inhaling deeply to double check to make sure he wasn't losing his mind for good this time. Knowing that scent like if it was his own, Logan jerked around taking off toward the direction the woman had disappeared in. Not understanding if it was Marie, why she was hiding, and running away from him.

His pace quickening as her scent grew weaker. He caught sight of her up ahead, heading toward the main road about a mile away. Remembering how Marie, and her friends had used this same weak spot in the mansion's security to sneak in, and out of the mansion a few times before Scott had found out and grounded them, thinking it had stopped the group of teenagers. Logan had known different. He didn't care that they snuck out as long as they came back. He had followed them a few times to make sure they weren't doing anything overly stupid that would get them seriously hurt or in trouble. Satisfied that they were safe, Logan let the kids have their fun, not bothering to tell Scooter his upped security wasn't worth much for a kid who could phase herself, and other inside and out of walls and laser beams.

Logan turn veering off to the right, instead of coming up right behind her. Quickening his pace farther, but quietly so not to alert her he was on to her. Once he had overtaken the lead, he cut in front of her, grabbing her making sure to cage in her arms so she couldn't touch him to put him down.
Reaching up, to grab the veil covered hat, jerking it off.

"Ouch, that hurt." Rogue complained in pain, and upset she had let her guard down around Logan. She should have known better.

"Marie?" Logan growled out stunned letting her go, turning her around to face him. He was still to much in shock to really believe who he was really seeing, his Marie.

"Uh, yeah. Hey." Rogue said giving him a guilty grimace and shrug. She knew there was no use trying to get away. He would hunt her down until he got answers. She figured she might as well deal with this now, rather than later. However instead of him firing questions, or more like demands as she expected, he jerked her to his chest wrapping her into a tight bear hug, pulling her flush against him, burying his face into her hair, inhaling her scent while nearly squeezing the breath out of her.

"I'm happy to see you too, Logan, but I can't breathe." Rogue huffed out.

"Sorry," Logan crocked out, tears running down his face. His voice nearly gone, to over come with shock and joy to really speak. He eased up, but didn't let her go as he held her to him, his face pressed into her hair so he could smell, and feel that she was really with him.

"It's really me Logan. I'm really here." Rogue whispered knowing he was over come from losing Jean, and now finding her coming back from the dead so to speak.

"How? How is this possible, you're suppose to be dead?" Logan demanded pushing her back from him a little so he could see her face, but not letting her out of his arms. His shocked, and confused frowned deepening when he realized she didn't look a day older than she had when he last saw her. In ten years she should at least be showing signs of losing that youthful glow. She had to be in her early thirties. All her classmates, and friends had aged. Slight wrinkles, and laugh lines. A few gray hair, their skin and hair had lost some of it youthful glow. However Marie looked like time had stood still for her.

"It's a long story." Rogue whispered not really wanting to tell him, but knew the was no getting out of it.

"Well I haven’t got nothing but time Darlin, get talking." Logan demanded wanting answers to how this was possible. How his Marie could be standing in front of him after all this time.

"Can we at least go somewhere, and get comfortable?" Rogue asked wanting to get out of her heels.

Logan frowned for a moment, but thought quickly. "How did you get here?"

"My truck is up ahead, stashed in the woods near the road."

"Then lets go." Logan said pulling her toward the road.

"Where are we going? Shouldn't you be back at the mansion with the others."

"No," Was all Logan said as he continued to pull Rogue by her covered wrist toward her truck.

"Logan where are we going?" Rogue demanded again.

"Where are you staying?" He stopped, turning to stare at her. "Why have you been hiding? Why haven't you let anyone know you're alive? Why didn't you tell me, huh? I went out of my mind, Kid, when we found out about the explosion, and thought you were dead. How could you let me think you were dead, when this whole time you've been alive! HUH?" Logan growled out his anger starting to get a hold of him.

"I didn't tell you, Logan, because I couldn't." Rogue explained quietly with a deep sigh and sadness.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Logan demanded harshly.

Rogue noticed the signs of the Wolverine. Logan's eyes were hard, but starting to take on a fieriness to them. They were turning black as his pupils dilated. The golden color was more dominate than Logan's normal hazel color. He was starting to pant, and growl more. His hands clenching, as his knuckles turned white.

"Logan, you're hurting me." Rogue stated calmly, but firmly. Logan looked to where he was clenching Marie's wrist, seeing his hand white from the pressure.

Logan loosened his grip, but didn't let her go. "I want an answer, Marie." He demanded with a growl, struggling to pull himself under better control.

"Like I said, it's a long story, and I rather not tell it here."

"Where are you staying?" Logan asked again, forcing himself to not demanded answers right this minute. Something was telling him, he too rather not be here at the mansion when he found out what was going on with Marie.

"In a motel outside Salem's city limits." Rogue answered resolved to the fact there was no getting out of telling Logan the whole story.

"Let's go." Logan gruffly ordered, once again grabbing her, but this time capturing her gloved hand instead of her wrist.

Once they were seated in Rogue’s motel room Logan demanded answers.

“Get to talking, Kid.” He was seated in the only chair in the room, across from the bed where Rogue was sitting.


“Did anyone tell you what happened about a year before the explosion?” Rogue asked not thinking so, but wanting to make sure.


“No, what happened?!” He growled out already unhappy that apparently something major had happened, and no one had thought to tell him.


“You know how I had been working with the Professor to learn control of my skin, right?”


“Yeah, so?”


“So, I made some progress. I was able to touch someone up to an hour until I grew tired from concentrating. I wasn’t great at it, I would still slip up, and lose concentration, but I was getting better. I thought that if I could get away from the mansion, and be by myself I could really focus on nothing but my mediations and concentration, that I would have a better chance of gaining control of my skin a whole lot faster. The Professor was reluctant to let me go, but I talked him into it. I was to call in every month to let the Professor know I was okay, and to see how my progress was coming. I was doing really well, and the people in the town I would go to get supplies were friendly, but respectful of my wish to be left alone. Anyway about three months into my self-seclusion, the cabin I was staying at was ambushed. I managed to kill three of the guards before they drugged me knocking me unconscious. Apparently they didn’t expect me to be much of a fighter. They had only come with five men.” Rogue smirked, before becoming serious again.


“When I woke up I was greeted by a sight I had only seen in your nightmares. I was in some lab somewhere, and strapped down to a table with doctors standing all around me, poking, pinching, and cutting at my skin.” Rogue stopped to take a breath, to calm herself, and to let Logan calm down. He had jumped from the chair he was sitting in to start pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. He claws snapping in and out as he growled menacing.


“Long story short, I stayed there for about four months before the team found me. The problem was that I was under the doctors control, and tried to kill the team. Hank was able to knock me out with some drug, and they took me back to the mansion. Thing was that was what the government had wanted all along. When I woke up I attacked the Professor, almost killing him.” Rogue frowned upset as she remembered the horrible things she had done. “I did kill St. John, and ended up nearly killing the entire team. I touched a lot of people before they were able to put me down. Hank, and the Professor discovered that I had been chipped and drugged. Hank did surgery to remove the chip, and I spent three weeks in confinement waiting for the drug to leave my system completely. Let’s just say that no one trusted me after that. Only Hank, the Professor, Scott, and Ro even came near me.” Rogue voice wavered as she explained. It might have happened years ago, but she still felt the tremendous pain of knowing she had hurt the people she cared about.


“Why didn’t someone ever tell me? They should have contacted me as soon as they found out you were missing!” Logan snarled his claws snapping in and out more rapidly. He couldn’t believe all this had been going on, while he and Jeannie had been gone. ‘Chuck had a lot to answer for.’ Logan growled to himself.


“I don’t know about before, but afterwards I heard the Professor talking to Hank about calling you, and I told them not to. I didn’t want you there.” Rogue admitted seriously.


Stopping in his tracks, Logan jerked around to face Marie. His normally unreadable expression was openly upset and hurt. “JUST WHY THE HELL NOT?! You know I would have come for you if you needed me!” Logan demanded more hurt by her admission that he could describe. Pushing the pain down, he let his anger cover the hurt, that knowing she hadn’t wanted him there with her caused.


“I know that Logan, and that’s why I didn’t want you there. I didn’t want to disturb your life. You had finally settled down with Jean. You had finally gotten what you wanted. Jean, a home in the Canada wilderness, and peace. I wasn’t going to be the one to interfere with that.” Rogue explained with determination. Her expression and eyes letting him know she meant it.


“Once I had come back to myself, I was ashamed, and upset at what I had done to the people I considered my family. All though Scott, and Ro still talked to me, they didn’t trust me, and I don’t blame them. I had nearly wiped out the entire team seemingly without a care. I hurt a lot of people Logan.” She explained trying to get Logan to understand the seriousness of what she was telling him.
“I worked really hard to regain control of my mind, and skin. Plus I tried to start regaining the trust of my friends. I talked Scott, and the Professor into letting me join the team. I needed something to focus on. I spent all my time training, or working on controlling my mind, and skin. I didn’t do anything outside those three things. I couldn’t teach anymore, because my students were scared of me, and the others didn’t trust me to be around the kids. Once I had proven myself, Scott agreed to let me on the team. However I was always teamed with him or Hank. I think it was because they were the only two that had a chance at putting me down if I ever turned on them again.” Rogue said knowing Scott and Hank had been leery of her at first. She knew of the vial that Hank kept with him all the time, that was just for her. She didn’t hold it against them, she was just thankful that they were still allowing her anywhere near them.


“Sometime later a new guy came to the mansion. His name was Matt Wilson, codename Element. He was an element mutant. Obvious right?” Rogue said sarcastically. “He knew that I was dangerous. Everyone had told him what I had done, and why I didn’t hang out with them anymore. But he didn’t seem perturbed by what they told him about me. He still made a point of wanting to know me. After a while he and I grew close. He joined the team, and after some time he became my new partner. Not long later, we started dating, and I was starting to put the past behind me, and live again a little. He convinced me that I could trust him. The day of the mission to the compound, Matt and I were to entered through the back, and take out the guards in the guard house so the others could get in. But it was a set up, Matt had been working with the same people who had me before. They wanted me back so they could finish what they had started.”


Logan started pacing again, unable to stop the snarls and growls knowing some punk had gotten close to his Marie to only hurt her again, after she had finally started to heal.


Rogue hurried on with her story, wanting to get it over with. “Matt used his mutation to cause an earthquake, and set fire to the propane tanks. Thankfully the others were far enough away that no one suffered any major injuries when the place blew. By the time the building exploded, I was back in the governments hands. I spent three and a half years under their control. I wasn’t able to trust myself when I first got out. I had to many people in my head running around, trying to take control. So I stayed away from everyone. By the time I was strong enough in the head again, I came back to see that they had thought I had died. My headstone on the mansion lawn. I don’t know, after that I just figured it was best for everyone if I stayed dead. I hadn’t done anything but cause trouble for everyone I have ever met. You included, so I just disappeared. I knew that everyone’s life would be much easier without me around.” Rogue stated resolved and final. “So there you have it.” Rogue stated shrugging her shoulders with a sigh and a frown.


“You should have called me, Marie. You shouldn’t have keep this from me.” Logan growled upset as he came to stop in front of her. Staring intently at her.


“Logan you were living your own life. There wasn’t anything you could have done. I was already a stain on your, and Jean’s relationship. I didn’t want to be anymore trouble for you. You deserved to have some happiness and peace in life. I wanted that for you.” Rogue said with a sincere expression.

Logan sighed upset, as he sat on the bed beside Marie. He hated knowing that Marie hadn’t called him, when she needed him, because she didn’t want to be a burden to him, when she could never be anything but a treasure to him.

“You were never a stain on anything Marie, and you have never caused me trouble. You’ve always been important to me Marie.” Logan turned to face her, telling her how he felt in a gruff voice. He wasn’t good with emotions, but he couldn’t let Marie think she had been anything but good in his life.


“That’s very sweet of you to say, Logan, but be honest. I have nearly gotten you killed at least twice. I made you uncomfortable with my feelings for you. Jean didn’t like that you still spent time with me even knowing how I felt. I knew it caused stress on your relationship. That was one reason why Jean wanted to get you away from the mansion. She knew you wanted to go to Canada, but was staying because of her and me. And you know what, I am glad she did it. I was being selfish, not thinking how it was for you. You loved Jean, and I’m glad she loved you back enough to want to make you happy. I’m so sorry she’s gone. I’m sorry I let my jealous put a wedge between us. She was a good woman, and you deserved that.” Rogue said with tears in her eyes. She hated knowing Logan was hurting, and there was nothing she could do to ease his pain.


“She was a good woman, but you didn’t put a wedge between us Marie. I did.” Logan said with a upset sigh that Marie was blaming herself for something that wasn’t her fault.


“No Logan, you didn’t.” Rogue assured him, but frowned confused to why he would think that.


“Yeah, I did.” Logan sighed upset. “I wanted Jean so much I didn’t think how it would affect anyone else. Especially you, and Scott. I didn’t care about Scott, but you were a kid, someone I was suppose to look out for, and take care of. I knew you had a crush on me, and I was uncomfortable, but I knew you would out grow it. I had just saved your life, it was normal. When Jeannie split with Scooter, I was to involved in my own life to think about how it would affect you, and for that I’m sorry Marie.” Logan said deeply sorry.


“You shouldn’t be sorry Logan, that was how it should have been. You should have focused on making yourself happy. You should have focused on your own life. Once I got over my petty jealousy, I was happy for you Logan. I have only really wanted you to be happy. To have something good in your life.” Rogue told him, not wanting him to regret finally having some happiness in his life.


“I had something good in my life Marie, I had you.” Logan said seriously.


“Thanks, but you know what I mean. Jean was the love of your life, you deserved someone to love you like you deserved to be loved.” Rogue said knowing that she could never compete with Jean, but Rogue loved Logan too. She wanted him to finally start to put what the government had done behind him, and to let someone love him like he deserved.


“Thanks Darlin,” Logan said grateful for Marie’s desire for his own happiness. “But it turned out that Jeannie, and I weren’t really good for each other. Yeah, we got married, and for the first couple of years it was good, but it was more passion and lust, than love. The next couple of years we pretty much just settle into life. Her involved with her work, and me involved in mine. We didn’t really spent that much time together. It was around then that I started missing spending time with you. I missed hearing you laugh, missed us crashing on the sofa, and taking over the TV to watch hockey. Missed just talking about everything and nothing.” Logan said giving her a small smirk, before become serious again.

“I missed feeling that I was important to someone, because of who I was, instead of what I could do for them. It wasn’t long after that, that we got the news about the explosion.” Logan’s expression turned haunted just remembering that day.

“Jean and I returned to the mansion to help. When I learned you had been killed, I went ballistic. No one could even get near me with out me threatening them with the claws. Not even Jeannie. After we went back to Canada, I pretty much stayed to myself. When I wasn’t working, I was at the bars drinking and fighting. Jean had buried herself in her work. I don’t know why she didn’t leave me, but she didn’t. We both knew that our marriage wasn’t working. We were both in love with other people, but Scott was married to Ro and they had a kid together, and you were dead. It took me sometime to realize that I was being unfair to Jeannie. I had married her, and taken her away from her friends and family. I couldn’t go back in time to change things so I asked her to forgive me, and we tried to at least be happy together. We loved each other, but we weren’t in love with each other.” Logan was staring at the dirty hotel carpet as he finished telling Marie about his and Jeannie failed marriage.


“How did Jean die?” Rogue asked in a sad whisper. Tears threatening again to fall. She was sad for Logan, that his life with Jean, hadn’t been what he really wanted.


“There was some accident at the lab she was working at. Some type explosion of some chemicals. There was a tear in her suit, to small for anyone to notice.” Logan stated, now used to explaining what had happened. He had been asked by the team, on separate occasions.


“I’m so sorry, Logan.” Rogue whispered watery, but held her tears at bay.


“For what?” Logan asked confused as he looked back up at her.


“For everything, but mostly that you weren’t as happy as you should have been. If you hadn’t ever meet me, you and Jean would be happy together.” Rogue frowned distressed.


“If it wasn’t for you Marie, I would have never met Jeannie.”


“Maybe I should be sorry for bring you two together then.” Rogue said unsure which was worse. “All I know is that your life would have been much better if you had never met me. I haven’t done anything but bring misery of some form and fashion into your life.”


“Don’t say that, Marie. My life was much better with you in it. You taught me how to feel again, which lead me to actually giving a care about someone other than myself again. My life was nothing but fight bars, and endless searches for my past before I met you. If anything, I’m thankful to you for bring some light back into my life.”

“Some light.” Rogue huffed, then sighed. “What are you going to do now?”


“I don’t know yet. Where have you been staying all this time?”


“Actually I’ve been in Alaska. I finally made it.” Rogue gave him a small sad smile. “I work at a salmon fishery. Someplace I don’t have to worry about being touched.”


“Why, I thought you said you had control?” Logan asked frowning confused, glancing down to her gloves. He had thought that the gloves and just been apart of her outfit.



“I had, but after the lab I lost it. I’ve been trying to regain it, but so far nothing. I’ve been working at it for a year now, but no luck. I might not every get it back. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” Rogue answered with a frustrated sigh.


“Why would you say that?” Logan demanded upset and confused.


“Because my skin keeps me isolated, which keeps others safe. If it keeps me away from people, then I don’t have to worry about every hurting anyone again, and ruining anyone’s life again.”


“You need to get that stupid thought out of your head Marie! You don’t ruin people’s lives.” Logan snapped out upset that she thought that about herself.


“You should tell that to St. John, oh wait you can’t he’s dead, because I killed him.” Rogue said sarcastically.


“It wasn’t your fault Marie, you can’t blame yourself for what those monsters made you do.”


“That sounds nice Logan, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m the one who killed him. Or the fact that Kitty is scarred, that Bobby is missing two fingers. Jubilee has nightmares of me draining her to death. I tore both of Pete’s arms out of socket. Remy has a permanent limp because of me. I put the Professor in a coma for two weeks. Hank’s arm was broken in three places, I dislocated his left knee, and I gave him a concussion. Scott had to blast me to keep me from attacking Ro, and their daughter. I wished he had killed me that day. Every day I wished that I could have died. You have no idea how thankful I was that you and Jean weren’t there Logan. If I had killed you, I couldn’t live with myself. I barely do now, but if I had hurt you, I don’t know if I could have taken it.” Rogue said wrapping her arms around her feeling the icy chill of dread running through her entire body.
Seeing and smelling Marie’s pain, Logan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him. He felt her tense at his touch, but after a few moments her body relaxed, sagging against him, then soon followed by shudder as sobs over took her.


“Shh Darlin, it’s okay. You’re okay now, Marie. I’ve got you Darlin. It’s going to be alright. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Logan spoke softly into her hair. She just cried harder at his words of comfort. He rubbed her head, wishing he could take her pain. “Just cry it out Darlin, I’m right here. I’m going to take care of you. Just let it all out.” He said tears coming to his own eyes as she continued to cry against his chest.

After what seemed like forever, Marie’s sobs calmed to silent tears. She pulled back some, wiping at her wet face. She frowned, and touched Logan’s soaked shirt.


“I’m sorry, I got you all wet.” She whispered sadly.


Logan gave her a tender smile, using his covered arm to wipe at more of her tears. “It’s okay Darlin, it’s only a shirt, it’ll dry.” He assured her.
“Why don’t you go get changed for bed. It’s late, and your exhausted.” He said smelling her fatigue after her crying jag.


“Are you heading back to the mansion?” Rogue asked trying to not let him know how much she wanted him to stay. She knew that he was hurting too. He had still loved Jean in some way, and she had just being buried today. She needed to think of him, instead of herself.


“I’m not going anywhere, now go get changed.” Logan assured her. He had smelt her nervousness and anxiousness. He wasn’t about to leave her again, now that he had her back in his life.


Nodding her head, Rogue grabbed her night clothes from her suitcase, then headed into the bathroom. Logan watched the bathroom door close before pulling out his cell phone.

Chapter 5

"Logan are you alright? When we found your truck still in the garage, but could not find you anywhere we became worried."

"I'm fine Chuck. I went for a walk, and met up with someone, an old friend. I'll be by tomorrow to get my truck and gear."

"Are you sure you are alright my friend?" Charles asked compassionately.

"Yeah, I'm fine Chuck. I'll see you tomorrow." Logan grunted out, but thankful for the man’s concern.

"Very well Logan. Please do not forget that we are here for you."

"I won't, and thanks Chuck." Logan said then hung up, just as Rogue came out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

"I didn't expect to have anyone in my room. Just make sure to be careful to not touch me." Rogue warned seriously uncomfortable.

"Don't worry Marie, I'm not scared of your skin." Logan reassured.

"Maybe not, but I'm scared of it for you." Rogue frowned.

"Come on, get in bed." Logan said pulling the bedspread, and sheet back for her.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Rogue asked with a frown, scanning the room‘s other furnishings. The only other furniture in the room was a small table and two upholstered club chairs.

"In bed with you." Logan replied simply, as if it was obvious.

"Oh no Logan, you can't. You could get hurt." Rogue rushed out, her fear sky rocketing.

"Relax Marie, I'm not going to get hurt. I know what I'm doing. Now get in bed." Logan ordered impatient. "Don't argue kid, just do as I say."

"You're not my father, Logan." Rogue glared at him.

"No, that I'm definitely not, Darlin." Logan growled low, knowing the thoughts he had about her were far from fatherly. "Will you please just get in bed." Logan growled louder, letting his irritation show a little.

"I'm just worried about your safety, Logan." Rogue growled back.

Logan quirked an eyebrow at her growl, then smirked amused. "I promise you Marie, I'll be very careful. I'm going to put the sheet between us. You'll be completely cover. Now get in bed." Logan explained.

Rogue was still frowning with worry, but did as Logan asked.

"Thank you." He said when she was under the covers. "I'm going to go take a shower. You go ahead and get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"Alright, good night Logan." Rogue gave him a small smile.

"Good night Darlin. And Marie?" Logan spoken softly, as he stopped by the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" Rogue asked looking curiously over at him.

"I'm glad you're here with me. I love you." Logan said his eyes holding an intensity rarely seen, then turned, and went in the bathroom not giving Rogue a chance to comment.

Not that she could. She was to shocked at his words to speak. She had swallowed her tongue. Rogue laid back, and looked up at the ceiling with a deep sigh and frown. How was she going to handle this? It was to soon for Logan, and herself. She couldn't touch, and she didn't deserve Logan's love.

She knew things that Logan deserved to know, but he wouldn't like how she had discovered them. She wondered if he would still loved her if he knew that she had the monster that gave him his metal skeleton, and claws in her head.

Rogue sighed feeling to overly tired to think anymore. She'd have to deal with it tomorrow. She was asleep by the time Logan crawled in bed beside her, spooning behind her, wrapping his arm around her sheet covered waist, quickly falling asleep.

Rogue twisted trying to get away from the doctors grabbing at her, pulling her back to the tank. She knew what was coming. If she let them put her in that tank, she might not come out alive. Her healing factor had allowed her to survive every other test, and experiment these sick twisted men could think of; this Rogue didn't know if she could live through. Logan had barely made it, she didn't think she could.

"GET HER IN THERE NOW!" The man in charge yelled his order.

"Come on Marie, calm down." A voice called to her.

"NO!" Rogue screamed confused to how they knew her real name. Only Logan knew that name. He wouldn't have told them.

"It's okay Marie, it's going to be okay." The voice coaxed.

"NO!" Rogue fought against the doctors harder as they dragged her to the edge of the tank. "NOOO!" Rogue screamed as she was clamped down, and lowered into the water. Hot burning metal entered her body. "AHHH!" Rogue screamed breaking loss from her restraints, her new claws snapping out, and into the guard trying to stop her.

Rogue felt her claws sink into flesh and muscle. Smelling blood, and feeling movement on the end of her claws, she jerked awake. Logan was sitting up in front of her. His eyes wide with surprise and pain. Rogue looked down seeing her claws embedded deep in his chest, most like puncturing his lungs, when he struggled to draw a breath.

Rogue jerked her claws back in, and scrabbled out of bed. She ran for the door, tripping over her heels in her rush. Quickly regaining her balance, she jerked the door open, and took off running.

"Marie! MARIE!" Logan tried to grab her before she bolted, but missed. Having already healed, he jumped from bed, and ran after her. She was running like hell itself was chasing her. "MARIE, STOP!" Logan yelled after her.

Instead of stopping Marie ran towards the woods across from the small motel. Logan chased her as she dodge trees, and jumping over logs.

"MARIE, STOP!" Logan yelled again as he felt branches whipping, and slapping him in the face. The cuts healing instantly as he ignored the sting, continuing to run after her. She ran in the middle of a stream, but with her bare feet and the slippery rocks, caused her to keep falling into the water. She struggled to keep her feet, to get away. However it gave Logan enough time to catch up with her. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up from the water, kicking and screaming.

"MARIE STOP! IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY." Logan yelled trying to reach through to her, while being careful that she didn't hit him with her skin. That was the last thing she needed right now. "It's okay Marie, you're okay.” Logan kept struggling with her while trying to calm her. “Cut it out Marie, I'm okay. You're okay. Just calm down baby. Breathe, come on breathe." He tried to coax her. She went limp in his arms and started sobbing.

Logan let out a deep breath relieved that she had stopped fighting him. He shifted her higher, and carefully so her bare skin didn't get him as he made his way back to their motel room. Logan ignored the people coming out of their rooms to see what all the commotion was about. He carried Marie into their room, closing, and locking the door.

He sat her down on the bed, then wrapped the blanket around her. Climbing in behind her, he wrapped her in his arms, and held her now covered body to him tightly as she sobbed uncontrollable. He pressed her head to his chest and tried to think of something to sooth her.

"Everything's going to be alright, Darlin. You're safe, now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you anymore. I promise baby, your safe now, I love you." Logan whispered in her hair, next to her ear, huskily. Pain in his own voice at her turmoil.

"I- h-hu-hurt you." She wailed then tried to struggle out of his arms.

"STOP! Just stop it Marie." Logan ordered. tightening his grip on her. "You didn't hurt me. I'm alright, I'm just fine baby. It's going to be okay, it's alright now."

"YEAH, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN THERE?" Some man called from out side the door.

"YEAH, WE'RE FINE, NOT GET LOST." Logan holler annoyed. He was glad when he heard the person move away from the door. He had enough on his hands right now calming Marie down.

"It's okay Marie, you didn't hurt me. I'm just fine. Nothing to worry about." Logan reassured her kissing her head.

"I'm so o so sorry" Rogue hiccupped out through her crying.

"I know Baby. It's alright, I love you Marie, everything's okay Darlin. Nothing for you to be sorry for. I'm fine. We're both going to be alright." Logan said not sure what else to say to comfort her. He knew he was repeating himself, but he felt totally lost and inadequate at the moment.

Words weren't seeming to help any, so he decided to just let her cry it out as he held her, and kept rubbing her covered body, and kissing her head. Every so often shushing her gently.

It wasn't to much later that Rogue had cried herself to sleep. Logan leaned back against the headboard, and continued to hold her to him as he stayed awake thinking over what had happened. What it all meant.

Logan continued to hold Marie, having no plans on letting her go until she woke up, so she'd know that he wasn't upset, or anger with her. That he wasn't leaving her.

It wasn't until around nine that she started to stir. Logan kissed her head, and felt her go stiff in his arms. He smelt her sudden spike of fear and anxiety.

"It's okay Marie, you're safe, Darlin. We're both okay. I love you baby. I'm not going to hurt you."

"You shouldn't love me Logan. I'll only hurt you. I'll only destroy your life." Rogue whispered upset.

"Not going to happen Marie. And I already love you. I've got you back, and I'm not going to waste another minute not telling you."

"Logan maybe you shouldn't being saying you love me. I mean I know you're upset over Jean. You just lost her, and you had thought I was dead. It's a shock I know, but don't confuse what your feeling." Rogue said softly but seriously.

"I'm not confuse, Marie. I've loved you for a long time now. And yes it's a shock to find you alive, but it's a good shock. I was stupid, and wasted the chance I had last time. I'm not about to do the same thing this time. You're right, I am upset about Jean, but I knew I wasn't in love with her, Marie. I'm sad over Jeans death, but by not telling you how I feel isn't going to bring her back to life. We're both not ready for anything close to a relationship Marie, I know that. But I'm not wasting this chance at letting you know that I love you." Logan said kissing her head again, squeezing her to him.

"How can you love me after last night?" Rogue asked into his chest, her voice full of despair.

"Because you're the best thing that's every happened to me, Darlin. And I stabbed you first. Remember? You still loved me, why?"

"Because it wasn't your fault. It was an accident." Rogue answered automatically. She never held anything against Logan at his accidentally stabbing her because of his nightmare.

"There you go. I know you didn't mean to stab me, Marie. I know it was because of the nightmare. If anyone understands what you're going through Darlin, it's me. We're going to work through this together. I'm not letting you go again Marie." Logan promises.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." She whispered sad, but calming down.

"Don't worry Marie, I'm fine now. I healed as soon as the claws were out. I'm not every going to hurt you on purpose Marie. Don't ever worry about that. I'll never try to hurt you, if you accidentally hurt me." Logan tried to assure her.

"Okay." Rogue said sounding a little better and relieved.

Logan had thought she might be afraid he might lash out at her if she was to accidentally hurt him again. She knew the Wolverine was dangerous, but the Wolverine could never hurt her willingly, no matter how much she hurt him, accidentally or intentionally.

"I need to get up. I need to go to the bathroom." She said a little shyly.

"Sure Darlin." Logan said with a smile as he let her up.

"I'm going to take a shower." She told him grabbing some clothes out of her suitcase.

"Take your time. How about I run, and get us some breakfast?"

"Sure, hmm, my keys are in my purse." Rogue said still feeling hesitate about things.

"Kay. Relax Marie, everything is okay. Go take your shower. I'll be back before you know it." Logan said giving her a small smirk to show her that she didn’t having thing to worry about.

"Okay. Logan." Rogue called his name to get his attention.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I'm here with you too, but please don't tell anyone else. I don't want them to know." Rogue said seriously with a nervous frown.

"Alright Darlin, I won't say anything. Just don't run, or hide from me anymore, got it." He demand with a intent look.

Rogue nodded her head, then slipped into the bathroom closing the door.

Logan watched her slip into the bathroom, and close the door before digging the key out of her purse, then went to get breakfast.

Logan entered the motel room to find Marie dressed and packed. Her suit case sitting on the bed along with a small duffle bag, and purse.


“In a hurry to get out of here?” He asked quirking his eyebrow at her curious.


“It’s to close to the others. I had only planned on staying long enough for the funeral. So what did you get?” Rogue asked motioning to the large white bag in his hand.


“Two breakfast sandwiches all the way from Mickey’s Diner. One with just bacon, the other sausage and bacon. And two hash browns with cheese just like you like them.” He smirked at her. “And two large coffees. There’s cream and sugar in the bag.”


“Thanks.” Rogue smiled touched that he had remembered how she had liked her hash browns, and that he went to her favorite restaurant to get her usual breakfast, the same restaurant he use to take her to when they went out for breakfast.


“Anything for my girl.” Logan gave her a smile before starting to empty the bag of it’s contents, and laying it out on the small table by the window.


After finishing their breakfast, Logan loaded Marie’s bags in the back of her truck. “I guess this is it.” Rogue said a hesitant, unsure of what Logan was planning on doing now. They hadn’t talked about what was going to happen when they left the motel. She hated the thought of them going their separate ways, and never seeing him again. She knew now that they had reconnected, it would be hard to walk away from him again. However, she knew she had to steel herself for the possibility.


“What do you mean? You’re not about to get rid of me, Darlin.” Logan informed her matter of fact, with a look that said there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.


“What are you planning, Logan?” Rogue was relieved that he at least wanted them to stay in touch, if nothing else. As long as she had Logan in her life someway, she would be happy.


“I’m planning on picking up my truck from Chuck’s, then following you back to Alaska. I told you Marie, I’m not wasting anymore time. Unless you don’t want me in your life, you better say so now, because I have no plans on letting you out of my sight again.”


“I just don’t know what to expect or do, Logan.” Rogue explained nervously. She still loved Logan, but she was scared of hurting him. Scared of ruining his life. She didn’t know if she would ever get control of her skin again, and she didn’t want Logan to be stuck with someone he couldn’t touch. Plus she didn’t feel she deserved Logan’s love, not after everything she had done.


“The only thing we can do Marie is take this one day at a time. That’s all we’re going to do. We’re going to get going and get settled. Then I’m going to help you start regaining control of your skin.”


“What if I never get it back? I don’t want you stuck with someone you can’t touch, Logan.” Rogue frowned upset. The last thing she wanted was to condemn Logan to live a life with no touch.


“I’m not stuck with anyone, Marie. I choose to stay, and no matter what, I will be able to touch you. Whether it’s through these,” Logan said holding up his glove covered hands. He had brought a pair of gloves at the Harley Davison store while he had gone to get breakfast. “Or without them. Either way Darlin, I can touch you.” Logan said reaching out, and caressed her cheek gently, a fierceness determination in his hazel eyes.


Rogue gave him a watery smile, reaching up squeezing his hand. “Come on, lets get out of here.” Rogue scent flooded with joy and relief.


Rogue dropped Logan off at the same place she had parked her truck yesterday.


“I shouldn’t be long, I might have to speak with, Chuck, but I’ll make it short. I’ll meet you at the gas station near the motel as soon as I’m done. I won’t be long. Promise me you won’t run off Marie.” Logan growled giving her a intense, but nervous look. He was scared now that he had her back, that if he let her out of his sight, she’d disappear again. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose her again.


“I promise, I’ll be there.” Rogue promised knowing she wouldn’t leave Logan now unless he started regretting being with her. She hoped that day never came, but she wasn’t about to fool herself in thinking it couldn’t happen.


“It’s going to be okay, Marie.” Logan tried to encourage her, smelling her worried scent. He thought that she was worried about him seeing, and talking to the Professor. That Chuck might find out that she was alive and with him.


“Okay. Get going, I’ll be there when you get there.” Rogue said sounding more sure.


“Good.” Relief flooded Logan’s expression and body at Rogue’s assurance. “Be careful.” Logan said patting her open window before disappearing into the woods.


Rogue watched Logan’s retreating back for a few moments, then pulled back onto the road to head to their rendezvous spot at the local gas station near the motel they stayed at last night.


“Logan, please come to my office.” Charles’s request entered Logan’s mind as soon as he stepped onto the mansion’s lawn.


“Figures.” Logan grunted knowing he couldn’t just get the heck out of Dodge.


“Of course not, Logan.” Charles amused voice let Logan know he must have projected his thought.


“I’m going to say it again, Chuck, stay out of my head.” Logan growled knowing it did no good.


“Learn how not to project so readily into mine, Logan, and I’ll gladly stay out of yours.” Charles said smoothly unaffected by Logan attitude.


“Yeah, yeah.” Logan grumbled heading inside, glad the kids had classes so that meant most of the brats would be out of his way, and the team would be to busy teaching to delay him.


“Have a seat Logan, would you care for a drink?” Charles offered knowing Logan was in a hurry to get on his way. Charles was hoping to stall him, in hopes in figuring out what had happened. Yesterday Logan was understandable distance, and upset at Jean’s funeral. This morning as soon as Charles had picked up Logan’s presences, Logan’s mind was surprisingly at peace, or at as peace as Charles had ever known Logan to be. There was also a great eagerness to get on the road. He knew Logan wished to get away from all the memories of Jean and Rogue, but Charles didn’t believe this morning’s eagerness to get going was in result to those memories. Charles was positive something had transpired yesterday, but couldn’t be sure to what it was without reading Logan’s mind. Hoping that Logan would project like he usually did, Charles attempted to stall his departure.


“No thanks, what`cha need, Chuck. I want to get on the road. I’ve got a long way back up north.” Logan said trying to not think about Marie, or the fact that she was waiting for him.


“I wanted to know how you were doing. Yesterday you were understandably upset, however this morning once I sensed your mind, all I picked up from you was a sense of great peace, or as much as I have ever felt from you before. I am very pleased that you have managed to find peace about the situation, Logan, but I must admit that I am very curious to how you achieve it so quickly. Let us be honest, you are known for your solitude, and brooding. If I may ask what happened? Does it have something to do with this old friend you mentioned last night?”


“I’m also known for my privacy.” Logan stated bluntly, letting Charles know he wasn’t going to be getting any straight answers from him.


“Of course, Logan. I am curious, but I am also worried about you my friend. Losing a love one, is a very traumatic experience. Shift in emotions are very common, but if not dealt with properly can linger making matters worse.” Charles counseled with obvious concern.


“I’m fine, Chuck. Jeannie isn’t the first loved one I’ve ever lost before, you know. I know how to deal with my emotions.” Logan stated matter a fact. “I just know that lingering over it isn’t going to bring her back, or make it any easier. I still have to live.’ Logan answered leaning forward in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face. “I’m going to be honest with you here, Chuck.” Logan decided he could at least open up a little so the man knew there was no need to worry about him.


Charles was eager to hear what Logan was about to say. Logan very seldom opened up to him or anyone else. Rogue had been the only one Logan every seemed to talk to freely. Of course, Charles expected Logan had opened up to Jean after they had left, and married. Before that though, Rogue had been Logan’s only confidant.


“Here’s the thing, Chuck. I loved Jeannie, but we had realized some time back that we weren’t in love with each other. We stayed together because we cared for each other, but the ones we really loved were either already remarried and happy, or dead. Jeannie, and I had grown apart some time back. I’ll always love her as a good friend, but she wasn’t the love of my life, and I wasn’t hers. If I could go back and change things, I would have never taken her away from Scooter. She loved him, like I loved Rogue. We were both stupid, and blinded by lust. Living in the past isn’t going to change things. So I’m not going to live in the past, or going around mourning acting like Jeannie was the love of my life. I know you probably don’t want to hear that, seeing how she was one of your favorites, but there you have it. I did love Jean, and I do mourn her, but my world hasn’t ended.” Logan said knowing it couldn’t be easy for Chuck to hear. The man had loved Jean like a daughter, and had been sorry to see her go, but had only wanted her happy like any father wanted their child.


“I am very sorry to hear Jean, and yourself were not happy together, Logan. I have only wanted happiness for the both of you, as I do all my students and family. However, I am not surprised that the two of you weren’t right for each other. Like I told you yesterday, Logan, I knew of your true feelings for Rogue. I’m sure Jean knew them as well. You are a very active projector, and Jean could not have helped picking up your feelings for Rogue, as I could not. I am sorry that Jean was to blinded by her lust for you to realize the loving relationship she had with Scott. However Logan, I do not blame you. Jean was her own person. She could have denied her lust for you to remain with Scott. Just like you could have put your lust aside to love Rogue. Both of you were adults, and made your own choices. I am only sorry that things did not work out for all of you. I consider all of you my family as well as my friends, Logan. My only wished for all of you is to find happiness, love, and peace. That is still my wish for you.” Charles said sincerely.


“I appreciate that, Chuck. Who know maybe one day you’ll get your wish.” Logan said coming to his feet, truly hopeful that he would get his second chance at getting his happily ever after ending, or more like beginning. Rogue was the love of his live, and he had her back. He wasn’t going to waste this chance for anything.


“I hope so as well my friend. I know you are eager to be on your way. Please do not forget that we care about you, and are here for you if you should need us. Be safe, and have a good journey.” Charles said sincerely, coming from around his desk, and holding out his hand to Logan.


Logan took the Professor’s hand, shaking it. “Thanks, good-bye Chuck.”

Chapter 7

Two weeks had past since Logan had pulled up behind Rogue at her small secluded cabin in the Alaskan wilderness. The fact that it was surrounded by woods, and was miles from the nearest house pleased Logan greatly. His own cabin in the Canadian Rockies was secluded also. He liked living away from others. It was easier on his enhanced senses. He also liked his space, and he was glad to know that the only people around were him and Rogue. Jeannie hadn't liked being so far from civilization. Rogue welcomed it with open arms.


Logan had got a job with a local logging company, but only part time. He wanted to get started on working with Marie on regaining control of her skin. He promised her that once they got settled he would help her, and he wanted to go ahead and get started.

He hadn't pressed it when they first arrived, because he wanted Marie to get used to him being there. There was only one bedroom, and the sofa wasn't big enough for him to sleep on. Marie had offered to take the sofa, but Logan had refused. He had no plans of either of them needing the sofa as a bed. Marie and he had fought about the fact that he wanted them to share the bed. Marie worried Logan would get hurt, and she didn't feel right about it so soon after Jean's death. Logan had assured her that all they were going to be doing was sleeping, and that he wasn't now or had ever been scared of her skin. If an accident happened then they'd deal with it, but she needed to get use to him being in close quarters because he wasn't going anywhere, and the cabin was small.


The first week Marie had hardly slept. She was to scared that she would hurt Logan in their sleep even when she went to bed completely covered up. The second week Logan came to bed dressed in a body stocking that was thin and see through, but covered him everywhere except his hands, feet, and head. He put boxer shorts, gloves, and socks on, then climbed in to bed with Marie, the sheet between them like always. He pulled her to him, and told her to quit worrying. Marie had tears in her eyes as she smiled at him, and thanked him, sincerely moved at this thoughtfulness, then finally fell to sleep peacefully in Logan's arms.


Logan figured it was a small price to pay for Marie to be able to get some decent sleep. He had laid there that night thinking how he had no plans on wearing the body stocking forever. He decided that this weekend he would talk to Marie about starting her training on regaining control of her skin.


Friday evening Marie came in from work, and head straight for the shower like always. She knew that Logan couldn't stand the smell of the fishery all over her. The first day when she came home from work, he had held his nose while throwing open every window, and door in the place, then demanded that she strip, and get in the shower. He had grabbed her clothes once she tossed them out the bathroom door, throwing them in the washer. From then on, everyday when she got home, he had the washing machine ready for her clothes, and she headed for the shower. The windows now staying open most of the time.


"Hey Darlin’’, you smell better." Logan smiled as she sat down at the table where he put her plate of food.


"Ole come on, you know you like that fishy smell better than my apple scented shampoo." Rogue teased.


"Darlin’ ’’, I don't know how you can stand to work at that place. I've only ever gotten green at two things in my life. Scooter's flying, and the smell of you after work." Logan grimaced as he sat down beside her with his own plate of food. It was his day to cook. He had fixed her favorite dish, spicy spaghetti.


"Yeah well it's work that pays the bills, and I don't have to worry about anyone touching me." Rogue replied as she took a bit of her food. "Hmm, this is good. I do believe this is your best spaghetti so far." Rogue praised eagerly taking another bite.


"Glad you like it Darlin’’’." Logan smiled pleased.


Jean had never really cared much for his cooking. She preferred to either bring something home after work from one of the small restaurants in town, or buy a pre-made casserole from the store that all you had to do was throw it in the oven. Logan had enjoyed cooking, but didn't complain about it. It only made things easier in the end. However, Logan was glad to have a chance to cook again, and for someone beside himself. Even more so that Marie seemed to enjoy everything he had cooked so far.


"It's a lot better than my spaghetti any day." Rogue beamed as she took a drink from her beer. "So how was your day? Did you guys get that north end finished like you hoped?" Rogue asked interested about his day, as they ate.


"Yeah, we finished it around lunch time. We start on the east side Monday. Mack was glad to we got it wrapped up today. He’s got a new job lined up next week. He wants us to get the East side finished by Thursday - Friday the latest.” Taking a drink from is beer, he looked over at Marie across from him. “What about you? Did you have a good day?" Logan asked for the first time in a long time really interested in someone's else's day.


Logan would ask Jean about her day, and she would get carried away telling him about this drug or test she was working on, but she might as well had been talking a foreign language. He didn't have a clue to what she was talking about with all the medical terminology she would throw around, and she didn't seem to care if he did or didn't. He listen politely, but he couldn't honestly say that he really cared that much.


Rogue shrugged her shoulders, "It was okay, same ole same ole. You grab a fish, gut him, skin him, and cut his head off. Then you grab another one, and start all over. Not much to it really."


"If you don't like the job, Marie, you don't have to stay there. We've got enough money from my job, and my savings to make it."


"I need the job, Logan. I need it to keep me focused and active. I have to stay busy." Rogue explained with a slight frown.


"Then get another job. It doesn't have to be at the fishery." Logan urged, wishing she'd quit just to stop smelling like a fish herself every day. However he didn't want her to feel like she had to stay there if she didn't want too.


"It's the only job I could find that didn't require much people interaction. I can't get just any job I might want. It has to be one that doesn't require touching someone or something alive." Rogue explained with a frustrated huff.


"I think it's time we started working on your meditation again. I told you at the beginning that we were going to get settle in, and I was going to help you regain control. Well it's time we got started on doing just that. I've already set up a place in the living room. After dinner were going to get started on taking the first steps in taking back control." Logan said determined. At his words he smelt Marie's nervous, and anxious scent spike. Seeing a frown pulling at her mouth, Logan could help but ask, "You want control, right?" He was a curious to her sudden nervousness, but he was also a little worried that she had rather stay untouchable.


"Yes, of course I do." She answered immediately, but didn't elaborate further, but didn't smell or look anymore at ease.


"Okay Marie, spill it, what's the problem?" Logan huffed out totally confused. He sat back, eyeing her intently, waiting for her answer.


She sighed, then put her fork down, and stared down at it. "It's just that, to be able to mediate, and to work on feeling my skin, I have to let my guard down." Marie explained hesitantly.


"Yeah, that's the whole point, so what's the problem? You're going to have to spell it out for me here, Marie." Logan said still confused.


"It's not that I don't trust you, Logan, but I don't know if I can do that with you in the room. Having someone else in the room, when I'm trying to just be complete at ease isn't something I've ever been good at, even before when I was first working on controlling my skin." Rogue explained, hoping she hadn't made Logan think she didn't trust him, because she really did. She was just nervous about letting her guard down around others. Ever since the day her mutation hit, she had been obsessive about keeping other safe from her skin. Not to mention, not wanting another voice in her head.


"I get it." Logan finally understood the problem, but wasn't to concerned.


He expect her to be uncomfortable at first. He knew he was going to have take this one step at a time with her. He also knew she did trust him to some extent, but allowing yourself to completely let go even with someone you trusted was hard.


"Don't worry, Darlin’, like I told you before, we're going to take this one step at a time. I'm not expect any miracle, but you're going to have to get comfortable with me. I'm not going to hurt you, Marie. You sleep with me at night. You have to let yourself relax to fall asleep. It's really no different." Logan explained gently.


Rogue took a deep breath thinking over what he said. "I guess your right, and I do trust you Logan."


"Good. Now eat up, I didn't slave over the stove for nothing you know." Logan winked at her easing the tension.


Rogue picked her fork back up, and took a really big bite of her spaghetti all the while smiling at him. "Happy?"


"Shut up, and eat your food." Logan mocked growled at her, but his eyes were laughing.


Rogue giggled, but did as he demanded. They finished dinner while enjoying each others company.

Chapter 8

"Choose a pillow and sit down," Logan ordered motioning to the pillows he had put on the floor in front of the burning fireplace.

Once Rogue sat down as Logan had instructed, Logan sat down opposite from her on his own pillow.

"Remove your gloves." Logan instructed.

"Why?" Rogue frowned at him, already growing tense.

"Just do it, will you?" He told her giving her a look that said, do it, or I'll do it myself.

Rogue frowned uncomfortable, but removed her gloves as he asked, more liked ordered, she groused silently.

"Okay, now I want you to close your eyes, sit up straight, and take some deep breaths in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Do that at least ten times, while your doing that, I want you to really pay attention to how your skin feels. Pay close attention to it, let your mind totally focus on you skin and nothing else." Logan explained.

He was doing the same exercise, taking deep breaths, but he was inhaling her scent, taking notice of any changes in her scent. He had a gut instinct that when her skin was off, her scent would have a slight difference to it. He wanted to make sure he learned the smell so he'd know the difference. He had a feeling that small difference would help him guide her.

When they had spent at least ten minutes working on her breathing exercise, which was really just to get her calm, Logan said they we're done for the night.


"That's it?" Rogue asked opening her eyes looking at him dumbfounded.


"Yep, I don't want you over taxing yourself." Logan teased with a wicked smirk.

Growling playfully, Rogue reached over grabbing a pillow off the sofa, and threw it at him, hitting him in the face as she had intended
.
"What was that for?" Logan grabbed the pillow up, glaring playfully right back at her.

"You know exactly what that was for, Logan Howlett." Rogue smarted, then snapped her mouth shut with a deep immediately as soon as she said it. Her eyes going wide, and her scent flooding with fear and worry.


"Marie?" Logan growled out confused to what had just happened. Why she had just called him Logan Howlett, and why she was suddenly scared.

"I better get the dishes done, and get to bed. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." Rogue said quickly jumping up, to hurry toward the kitchen.

"Hold it right there," Logan demanded, jumping up, and grabbing her around the waist stopping her from darting off. "I think we need to discuss what just happen here. Why did you call me Logan Howlett, and why did your scent just spike with fear and worry?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I want to wash the dishes and go to bed." Rogue frowned upset, as she wiggled trying to get Logan to release her, not wanting to hurt him.

"To bad, sit down, we're going to talk about it whether you want to or not." Logan grunted, pulling her down on the sofa with him. "Now start explaining Marie."

"Let me go." Marie snapped upset still trying to get out of Logan's grasp. He had his hand's clasped tight around her waist.

"You promise not to dart off?" He asked knowing she might try to escape him.

"No." Rogue smarted back with an grim expression. Her scent flooded with annoyance at being held down, but there was still a strong scent of fear mixed with her annoyance. He could understand her annoyance, but he didn't understand why she was scared all of a sudden.

"Then I'm not letting you go." Logan grunted, and shrugged.

"Fine, just let me go." Rogue snapped out needing her space.

"Promise me first." Logan demanded gruffly, still gripping her to him.

"Fine! I promise, happy?" Rogue growled annoyed, and twisted out of Logan's grasp, over to the other end of the sofa away from him.

Logan was confused, and a little hurt by her attitude, but he knew she wasn't trying to hurt him on purpose. Something was upsetting her, and she was feeling trapped. He knew the feeling, and would snap too, when he felt trapped. 'Heck, she has a lot of me up in her head. I wonder if she got that from me?' Logan wondered to himself as he looked over at Marie on the other end of the sofa, putting as much past between them as possible.

"No, but it'll do." Logan answered honestly, but let the matter drop in favor of a more important issue. "Why did you call me Logan Howlett?"

Rogue scent grew even stronger of nervousness, but this time their was a mixture of sadness as well. Pulling all the courage she could muster, Rogue knew she could very well lose Logan after she answered his coming questions. She meet and held Logan's confused and troubled gaze.

"Because - it's your name." Came the whispered words from Rogue's lips.

Logan had asked, thinking it was the easier of the two questions. Boy was he wrong, fore when he had his answer, it only led to more questions, and even harder answers.

Logan was off the sofa, pacing and growling, as Rogue told Logan all that she knew about him and his past, about Sabertooth, Kayla, and Stryker. His claws snapped in and out as he listened. By the time Rogue had neared the end of her explanation, they both had tears in their tired and haunted eyes. He had clawed, and destroyed almost the entire room, when Rogue told him about Sabertooth and him being brothers, then about what had gone down with Kayla, bring him to the reason he had the metal on his bones, and metal claws.

The only untouched piece of furniture in the room was the sofa Rogue was sitting on. The once old recliner was nothing but splinters, and stuffing littered around the room, as was the end table, and coffee table. The television laid shattered across the floor as well. The drywall was decorated with both large, and small holes from Logan's claws, and his adamantim coated fisted. When Rogue had finished by telling him that William Stryker, the man who had given him his metal skeleton, and claw was the same man who had her, and had given her, her owns set metal bones, and claws, and that now she had him forever in her head, Logan had lost it, and all but flew from the house in a rage, with anger howls and outrage snarls.

Rogue sat on the sofa crying, and telling herself she should have known that no matter how much Logan believed he loved her, he wouldn't be able to stand being with her, knowing she had the man he hated most in the world in her head. Rogue climbed off the sofa, and started mindlessly cleaning up the room, all the while crying knowing Logan was gone for good from her life now. She hated herself for not being able to keep her mouth shut. She didn't ever want him to know she had Stryker in her head, because she knew he wouldn't be able to look at her ever again without thinking of the monster in her head.

Rogue climbed in bed, pulled the covers under her chin, curling in on herself and sobbed. She had never felt so utterly alone before in her life. Even when Logan had left with Jean, she had known he was still apart of her life. That he would come if she ever needed him. She didn't have that now. He was gone for good now, and she couldn't blame him. Even when she was in the lab, she had known that there were people out there that cared, and loved her, but she had ruined that as well. Now she was totally alone in the world, and all she could do was cry.