Question: Could you tell us a little about yourself? (i.e. where you live, hobbies, interests, etc.)


Answer: Wow. Okay.

I live in Los Angeles, but I was originally born in Chicago. I moved here when I was two, though, so I can't say I remember really anything at all about that place except that it was cold. Grew up the uneventful tomboy middle child in a mildly typical Mexican-American family, with a fetish for books and sports. I tended to daydream quite a bit, which should have been an indication to me that I would become a writer. I have an absolutely huge extended family, which probably explains my major recurring theme of 'family' in my fics.

I'm a huge movie buff, and hope to be a working screenwriter someday. I'm currently working in cable television and I'm going to grad school on the side, so that takes up quite a bit of my time. I adore my Tai Kwon Do class and I have fun with my computer and my electric guitar.

But mostly? I live for three things: a) God b) my family and c) to craft good stories.


Question: What was the first fandom you explored as a writer?


Answer: My first fandom was Star Trek: Voyager. I was still in high school, and my mother had signed us on for AOL (those were the days where they gave you 20 free hours and thought they were giving you a deal). Since I was a big ass Voyager freak, I decided to look around those message boards, and was lucky enough to discover this amazing story being written there. I started posting, and then decided to write my own story. It kinda sucked. I admit that freely. And I didn't know what a beta reader was, and I was so excited to post I ignored any and all typos and grammar mistakes, and posted my little heart out. I ended up with best story at the KTH awards. (yay)

I tell you, thank GOD that the people in the fandom were so damned nice about it. I was able to really learn and hone my writing and discover for myself that I sucked. I mean, geez. I had my first Mary Sue and everything! And I didn't get flamed for it!


Question: When and how did you first get involved with writing fanfic for the X-Men Movieverse fandom?


Answer: By the time the X-Men movie first came around, I was already deep into writing fan fiction for a number of fandoms, including Xena, Star Trek, Buffy, and Angel. So, needless to say, I was slightly addicted. On my way home from the movie, I had this idea in my head for a story, and I couldn't seem to find a nice yahoogroup to post it to, so I created xmenmoviefanfic. Then of course, I found the other list, and Kate Andrews and I combined it. I posted my first story, Almost a Woman, to the list, literally thinking I was going to get murdered. I mean, it was at the time, a controversial pairing, and there hadn't been a Logan/Rogue story ever posted.

Needless to say, I shouldn't have worried.


Question: What attracted you to the Logan & Rogue characters? What was it about them that made you want to write for them?


Answer: Hmmm...

Honestly? I just dug Rogue. Wolverine didn't make much of an impression on me at all. I don't really tolerate jerks, and to me, Logan was just a big ass jerk - except when he was with Rogue. She brought something out in him that wasn't shown in any of the other scenes of his.

And how could you not be fascinated with Rogue? Paquin's portrayal was such a contradiction - you have a sassy Southern flirt (as evidenced by her first scene) who discovers that any skin contact will kill a person, and not only that, suck their personalities into her head. Then she survives for the better part of three weeks on her own as a run away, and actually has the guts to sneak into the cage guy's trailer - and SASS him.

The angst scenes kinda dimmed Rogue's charm a bit - because she was having some serious emotional problems, but in the last scene, we got our sassy Southern flirt back, and that's who I loved - and I loved what that did to Logan.

And looking into Rogue's future - the absorbing of Carol Danvers and her going crazy as a result - there was just so much to get involved and immersed with - so many interpretations of the character-

Uh... yeah.

I dug Rogue.

She became my muse - and since she loved Logan - he could come play too. ;-)


Question: In, "The Complication of Pretense" you give us a Rogue/Scott pairing. Are there other couples/pairings in the X-Men fandom that interest you?


Answer: Hmm ...

Other than Rogue/Scott and Rogue/Logan?

I find myself with quite a fetish for Scott/Jean and Storm/Gambit, thanks to my foray into the Fatal Caress universe. I enjoy the odd Mystique/Logan, and Logan/Storm. Otherwise, I tend to be an equal opportunity shipper, so long as people are in character, and I can see it happening.

On the slashy side - I'm a Jean/Rogue girl.

And I just said that out loud.

Oh, come on! It works!


Question: What is the writing process like for you? Do you revise as you write, or do you like to get a first draft on paper first, and then revise?


Answer: For me, it usually starts with an idea - just a quick 'what if' that then is expanded into the first paragraph.

The actual process usually depends on whether or not I feel the story is going to be a 'movie' or just a short story.

For the 'novel-length', I'll usually get the first chapter down, and then from there determine a very loose outline, which I then expand into a much more detailed outline, leaving the end very open for whatever comes my way. Then I start to write. I find the more I write - the more ideas come to me and the more they come together - towards the end, I'm able to pick up the final details and finish the outline.

Most of the time, I know where I'm going. When I don't? Like, I just have an idea and a theory I want to finish with, such as First Night, then I trust that the characters and plot will move the story to it's right conclusion, and all I have to do is pace it to make sure they end up all there together in a rigid climax.

For short stories? It's pretty simple. There's no outline, and I usually know the story before I write it, like Spider Monkeys.

I'm always open to things changing, however. My outline is never rigid, always malleable. Cause you never know where a story is going to take you.

I'll usually write the entire story, chapter by chapter, and then run a complete sweep once it's all done. Usually I need a beta reader to help me with that.


Question: What is the hardest part about writing a story? The easiest? The most satisfying?


Answer: The first and last sentences are always the hardest for me. The first because you want to write something that captures the mood of the story, gets people interested, sets everything in motion.

The last because it's the words that will leave with the reader, and how do you actually finish a story? When does it end?

When do you know how to shut up?

I'll sit at my desk for large lumps of time, eyes closed, mind racing, just searching for the perfect words.

If they don't come? I don't write. :-)

The easiest is the dialogue - characters speak very well to me.

Most satisfying?

The ending - cause I'm DONE!

Or a particularly well written scene. There are just some SCENES that I adore, that I can read over and over again and be proud that I wrote that. Like Augustus in the tavern. Rogue and Jean in the library in Slippery When Wet. Scenes that define a character, and change the story.


Question: Do you feel more comfortable writing the character of Logan or Rogue?


Answer: Rogue, definitely.

Logan I have the hardest time with. I never know if I'm going out of character. He's such a guy that it's tough to make him 'romantic' without turning him into a total sap and thus, no longer Logan.

I don't know why I tend to 'get' Rogue more than I do Logan, but I do find myself much more comfortable with my various permutations of Rogue.


Question: The summary of, "Changing Tenses" states that ...While one can't let go of the past, another cannot face it...This is an interesting diametric view of the characters. How did this story come about?


Answer: Ironically, the story itself had absolutely nothing to do with the summary until it was actually done. I wrote the story for a friend, who gave me a list of lyrics and asked me to write a story based upon them. From that, I wrote the story after the first line - She commented on his acting strange the third year.

From there I developed the idea that Logan, a straggler who had never really cared about the passage of time (as seen by his 'oh so seventies!' mutton chops) having to suddenly deal with the fact that time mattered. We see from his perspective, Rogue, who has changed to the point where she is virtually unrecognizable to him when he returns.

Things don't change for Logan, and the fact that she COULD change, and attract him as a process, would be frightening, enough to keep him from leaving.

From that - I had to devise Rogue's perspective on all this, and realized that it would probably be safe to assume that because of this radical change - Rogue would hate to even look at the past.

The fact that Logan is unchanging and Rogue is a chameleon gives the story a bit of an edge.

Taking them back to the beginning, in their case, the cage, enabled them both to view the future and the past, something neither were able to do before.

It worked surprisingly well. Thank God.


Question: Both in "First Night" and the "Fatal Caress" series Rogue is quite a complex character--dealing with her own self-image as "death incarnate" because of her uncontrollable mutation. How did you approach writing this more mature, psychologically troubled character?


Answer: Well, suffice to say, unless I'm writing an incredibly foofy slapstick story ala Spider Monkeys, Rogue will always be a psychologically disturbed young woman. It just seems to make sense to me. My interpretation of her powers, based on Marie's speech to Logan and Jean's comments on her behavior afterwards (in addiction to her actions in X2 when she saw Magneto again), is that she is forced to consume every experience that the mutants she absorbs did.

In that case then, Rogue would not only absorb the personalities of Logan, Magneto and (in both Fatal Caress and First Night) Carol Danvers, but years of nightmares of a laboratory and countless memories of murders by Logan, not to mention the concentration camp experience via Magneto (from which HE is still emotionally scarred from), and Carol Danvers own wicked ways.

Add that to the original teenage angst, and you have a young woman who has experienced more death, destruction, heartache and pain in her twenty years that four people have experienced in a lifetime. Okay, so imagine having experienced all that, you also have experienced nearly losing your mind, and your desperation to be comforted can never be because the minute you allow someone in, their skin touches you and it starts all over again.

It would be enough to create a mask- and that is what I used to create First Night Rogue. First Night Rogue is slightly more bitchy than Fatal Caress Rogue - but there is a reason. What shapes the differences is Carol Danvers. Naturally, I took an artistic license in the inevitable mutation, but the way it comes about makes the character very different.

Fatal Caress Rogue's fear of death incarnate comes from the fact that she killed a person who 'didn't let go fast enough'. That would indicate that absorbing her was not her will, she willfully views herself as the murderer of Carol Danvers. It molds the character into that sort of guilt that she never fully recovers from.

First Night Rogue's absorption was an entirely different experience. She willfully killed Carol and the resulting absorption forced Rogue to nearly lose her mind. The Green-Eyes of Carol that Rogue regularly inhabits proves the point that Rogue has learned to mold the personality to her own uses. That Carol does exist and is alive in Rogue, and Marie herself uses Carol to hide behind. It's a much more violent, darker interpretation.

It creates a different personality, and by the time we catch up to her, the mask is already complete, and the only real chink in her armor is Logan. We'll see in 'There Goes the World', she may not be able to handle that weakness for much longer.

Er... there was an answer in there somewhere.


Question: Many of your stories include song lyrics at the beginning. Is this because you get much of your inspiration from songs/music, or do you just like to use them as a way to set the mood of the story?


Answer: A little bit of both, I think. I'm very sensitive to music. It can make me happy or it can bring me to tears - and so many times I think of my stories in graphic format - movies.

Each story I do has a soundtrack, songs that I hear in my head as I'm crafting a scene as I would direct a scene in a movie. They work for me because of lyrics, and they work to set the mood.

I can get annoying with my lyrics, though. I know that. I've actually cut them out of most stories. So... good for me!


Question: What inspired the hilarious story, "Spider Monkeys Prefer Banana Daiquiris"? Do you find writing humor easy or hard?


Answer: Nancy Lorenz, in a late night chat, was feeding me useless trivia that she found on this site. Most of it was silly and inconsequential, but all of a sudden, she came out with, "Spider Monkeys Prefer Banana Daiquiris".

For some reason, I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard. I started laughing about it, saying it would be hilarious if Logan couldn't stand it and started to try to feed them beer-

And it went on from there. Basically, that story is all Nancy's fault.

Humor I find isn't that hard to write - as long as you write it in context. If you notice, most of my humor, if I write a blatantly humorous story, is slapstick situation comedy, ala Spider Monkeys. The more serious humor, the ones found in the darker stories, need to be a little smarter, slightly rely more on the dialogue and the characters than the situation.

But I'm not by nature a 'witty' person - so coming up with one-liners and good insults? VERY HARD. One of the hardest things I can't do.


Question: "First Night" is a crossover story between X-Men and Angel. In your opinion, what are the similarities between the mutant 'verse and Angel's supernatural/demon 'verse that make them mesh well and be conducive to a crossover?


Answer: One: the one person who could probably touch Rogue and get away with it is Angel, because, as a vampire, there would be no 'life essence' to steal.

Two: It could be argued that Slayers are just glorified mutants.

Those two ideas pretty much stuck in my head. Demons and mutants could bring up all sorts of interesting issues with each other - especially how demons are played on Angel (not all demons are bad, demon persecution, etc...)

Angel Investigations and the X-Men both have similar 'missions' - helping the helpless and fighting for those less fortunate. To merge them would be interesting.

That, and I was also inundated with the cheap thrill of Cordelia and Logan in a room together and seeing who could snark the most.


Question: Is it hard to write a crossover story that satisfies fans of both fandoms?


Answer: It's certainly not easy.

I think the challenge of a crossover, especially if you're already immersed in both fandoms, is the problem of exposition. Because you'll have readers from both fandoms who you want to appease, and something that is NEVER fun, exposition. You bore the people who are already IN the fandom, and yet you need to have it done because the other people who AREN'T in it are going to be confused as hell if you don't. That's probably the hardest thing to think about when you do a crossover. You gotta keep both fandoms in mind.

In regards to your question, though, I think writing a crossover shouldn't be hard to write to satisfy both fandoms, simply because if it's a story that involves both, then it shouldn't be a problem. First Night took elements of both verses and melded them together, so that both groups were involved equally. They became a team together, and a result, no one felt really cheated.

Not that I didn't have my problems. I got one complaint about people concentrating on relationships way too much.

So... it had its flaws, too.


Question: Can you give us a sneak peek at, "There Goes the World" the new crossover story you're currently working on?


Answer: You want spoilers? Seriously? That's just cool!

Okay. SPOILERS AHEAD.

I will give you some tid bits. We'll see Faith make an entrance, and she throws a serious wrench into the Remy/Storm/Wesley triangle. Look for her to fall in love with one of the guys, but start sleeping with the other. Look for Storm to make the wrong decision. Two of the X-Men will defect to Angel-X, and one isn't at all who you think.

Someone with an electrifying touch will be cameo-ing, upsetting Fred and attracting Gunn.

On the broader strokes - Look for Wesley to discover more about himself in regards to the coming Apocalypse, and Cordelia's condition to further deteriorate from the visions, bringing her ability as a leader into question, and Jean's powers continue to grow, making her more unsure than ever.

One of the 'bases' - the mansion or the hotel - will be decimated.

Oh yeah - and that war? It's gonna be starting any day now. Not a good day for Angel-X to be left without funds.


Question: The "Fatal Caress" series is one of your best known, and often recommended, stories in the fandom. What are your personal feelings about this series and do people still write to you about it after all this time?


Answer: Well... aside from my huge gross mistake of making Gambit Irish in the first story, I actually like it.

I think that the first two are a tad melodramatic, and unoriginal - but with the introduction of Augustus and Rogue's desperate search for control, I really do enjoy the series. How could I not? I really was a learning process for me, and it was the first series I ever finished that I was truly proud of. I fell in love with my characters, but I'm glad I stopped when I did.

Otherwise Jean and Rogue would have been dead two stories later. I had an idea involved where I would begin a Dark Phoenix arc, beginning with Jean finally 'touching' Rogue and suddenly becoming infested with the essence of Augustus, taking over her mind, and bringing Rogue down with her.

What would result would be a full scale war between the X-Men, led by Storm, and Dark Phoenix and Rogue. Since they would be really big baddies, I would have had to kill at least one of them. I couldn't do that. It would be mean.

Seriously, I could have changed a few things, and possibly tightened up the storyline, make the dialogue a little less cheesy, but it's still quite fun to read for me.

I actually do get feedback about the series. Most of them asking when the next story is coming out. I'm like, er... dude? It's done. ;-)


Question: In such large ensemble pieces as "First Night" and "Fatal Caress", is it difficult to manage so many characters and/or plot lines without short shrifting someone or something?


Answer: Well... you have to pick your battles.

Mind you, I try to write ensemble stories because usually my plots require them. I need certain things to work, and as a result, I tend to bring in so many characters, hoping at the end it'll all come together. Sometimes I get lucky. Other times I have to pull a few rabbits out of my hat.

That said - you do have to pick and choose. Fatal Caress was by and large easier because I would choose different characters to focus on depending on the story. I could 'break it up' so to speak. While Logan and Rogue were always in the forefront, with each different story, other characters would be explored.

Example:

Almost a Woman and Fatal Caress: Logan and Rogue - but we got a hint of Jean and a hint of Charles, establishing the relationships and leading them up to -

A Hazy Shade of Winter - We got only a hint of Bobby, Gambit and Jubilee - but the major characters in this piece were Jean, Rogue, Logan, and Storm. By pushing the supporting characters to the background I was able to provide enough to introduce the arc villain - Augustus, which moved us into-

The Splintering Touch - Because I didn't have everyone in one place, I was able to lock people in groups in order to move the plot along. That way - scene by scene, I could focus on individual characters without having to really extend the plot. For the beginning of the story, I basically took Rogue out of the picture, leaving behind the other X-Men to pick up the pieces. Then I was able to focus in on Storm, Logan and Remy in one group, with Jean, Scott and Charles taking a smaller role, and finally expanding on who Augustus was, which led us to -

Slippery When Wet - when we finally got into the younger X-Men. We're still with our older people, but we've established their characters enough so they can just play their scenes, letting the younger X-Men react accordingly. Charles was placed in a coma, and we let Jean run with the ball, backing up Storm, Augustus, Rogue to a lesser extent, and Logan. But I did make sure everyone had their part, no matter how small, a significant turn that gave some closure to their story.

I have no idea how that helped, but I hope it did. Basically - I let the story dictate who was in and who was out, but if I get an opening, and I see an opportunity, I don't let it go. Storm initially didn't have any real story in the Fatal Caress Series, but her addition as Rogue's best friend brought unexpected heart, especially when I 'killed her off'.

That was long winded... so I'm gonna shut up now.


Question: When a scene feels forced, what are a few tricks you try to fix it?


Answer: If a scene feels forced, then more than likely, it doesn't belong in the story. I find the easiest way to lead the story and let it go where it needs to go is to let the characters take it there. If a character isn't cooperating or doesn't want to do what you want them to do, then adjust the story, not the character.

There were quite a few times when characters took me in unexpected directions that I wasn't sure about (aka the Storm/Gambit storyline in Fatal Caress), but they turned out pretty okay.

As water-tight as your plot is, if you feel that you have to force your characters to do it, then you lose your reader. As soon as they stop recognizing the characters, it's that much harder to pull them along into the story line.

Find another way to do it. If that means taking the long way instead of the shortcut, then do it.


Question: "Hazy Shade of Winter" marked the first appearence of Augustus, a great villain who was intelligent and powerful enough to truly challenge the X-Men. How did you go about creating this character from scratch?


Answer: Luck.

Seriously.

Augustus was created with the idea in mind that there needed to be a person in Rogue's life who could offer her anything and everything she wanted, thereby offering her a true temptation.

But we wanted the audience to at least, if not identify with the villain, at least make him understandable. Fatal Caress was all about heart - about death and destruction and trying to overcome that despite your own self. It was one big mind job - so we needed the villain to be the same way.

Augustus I wanted to be debonair, graceful, everything Logan was not. I wanted him to be human, because it was different from all those villains in the other fan fics. Making him a witch gave him quite a few powers, and it also solved the problem of Rogue's touch. Augustus was desperate to be the best, always the most unstoppable, and because of that, he would embrace being a mutant, because it would mean he wouldn't get left behind.

Rogue, then, would be perfect for him. If he were able to harness her power, then he would be unstoppable, because just by touching someone, he could take any power that he wanted.

It would make him the best. Invincible.

Worked for me. :-)

Notice, that in order to beat him, the X-Men had to play his own game, just play it better. By having him fall for Rogue, it made it possible.

Like Jean's increasingly dark fears, and Rogue's sensual explosion, Augustus then developed out of the story, and my casting of Rupert Everett. It was tailor made for him.


Question: Most of your stories are ensemble pieces. Which characters besides Logan & Rogue do you enjoy writing the most? The least?


Answer: The most? For X-Men?

I adore them all. I do - I find that it's really the story that makes me work with a character, and in order to truly adore them - I have to write them. That said:

Storm and Jean, easily. I adore Jean. She's just an incredibly complex character hidden inside this perfect façade, and when you see it crack, I find it fascinating. Storm, is another character I could deconstruct all day. Just the idea that she has to physically control her temper every day for fear she might kill someone - man. That's amazing. Fodder for the angst, ya know?

Characters I like least?

Hmmm... I can't say that I don't really enjoy writing any characters the least - but Gambit is particularly tough for me, since I don't really feel I know him. Jubilee was hard for me until I pushed into Slippery When Wet. And Mystique just scares the crap out of me, but if I ever finish 'An Ideal X-Men', she might easily become a favorite too.


Question: You've written foof, action, angst, humor, etc. Is there one particular genre you prefer, or do you like dabbling in all of them?


Answer: Angst. I'm definitely from an Angst Grrl background.

I like to break my characters and then put them back together. It draws the reader in, it brings the characters out stronger, and it forces all instincts and reactions to the surface. It's a story I tell over and over in my fics, and I do the same in my original screenplays.

There's one I just finished where Santa Claus has a heart attack on screen, and Mrs. Claus goes into a coma.

But that said, I enjoy all types of the genres. I don't think you should level yourself to one playing field. That would be boring, wouldn't it?


Question: "Father Figure" was the first X-Men story of yours that I read and is still one of my favorites. Which of your Wolverine/Rogue stories is your personal favorite and why?


Answer: Which of mine? God, that's hard. Umm....

This is going to be odd - but my favorite X-Men story I've written is probably 'Men Are From Mars, Woman Are From...'

I don't know why. It's not my most complicated. At heart, it's your classic, get-everybody-drunk story. But there's just something there in all that tequila, and relationship between the woman, and in turn, relationship with the men, that just makes me... happy.

It's a little gem of a fic that I would never change, and I absolutely adore it, flaws and all.


Question: Are there any particular themes that you find recurring (intentionally or unintentionally) in your stories?


Answer: I always like the 'I found what I wanted but never knew what I was looking for until I did' theme. I notice I use that a lot.

Another big theme I see is always family.

Perhaps it's because of my big extended family, but I love to put people together and have them form a bond. Rogue's major cry in Fatal Caress and in First Night is that these people are her family. I do it in Angel, I just finished a Charlie's Angels fic that I did it in, and it was prominent in Xena.

I just think that's important. It keeps coming up. :-)


Question: What challenges do you set for yourself as a writer?


Answer: Quit fanfiction writing. I want to go onto screenplays.

That's a major one - I rely on fanfiction entirely too much, and I need to break from it.

Other challenges are to get better with prose, because I suck at it. I'm a much more graphical writer, but that literary thing really stumps me. I find it works better when I read Jane Austin first, because it sets my head in a certain 'smart' mood, than if I just came off from reading a screenplay. In a screenplay, I can write "Rogue kicks the shit out of Mystique" and it'll be okay. Not so in written word. :-)

The real challenge to me is to continually write the best story I can do for the reader. It doesn't matter if it's going to win me an award. It doesn't matter if I get recc'd or archived (though heaven knows that that's nice). If I can make a person FEEL, laugh out loud, cry, smile - for that ONE moment make them forget that it's a story, and make them feel like they're there, like it's really happening?

That's my high. That's what I aim for.

And that's the biggest challenge.


Question: We all have busy lives--job, families, spouses, pets, school, etc. How do you find the time to write and do you have any tips or advice for people thinking about writing their own fan fiction?


Answer: I hate to say it, because it's hard, but it really works to set up a schedule. I know it's hard to constrain the muse, but if you have obligations, fill them first. Then set aside a time that you deem as yours. When I was finishing my K. Kringle script, I had to put a sign on my door that said I was writing between the hours of 7-10 PM. It worked. Then, unless the muse was going full force, when the time was up - I made myself stop. No matter how important fan fiction is to you personally, it's still only fan fiction. Make time for the stuff that really matters, like your family, friends, job.

Tips and advice for people thinking about writing their own fan fiction?

Hmm... read. Read a lot. Read reviews. Ask questions. NEVER just bang out a story and start it off with "This my first story, be KIND!", because you're kinda just setting yourself up to be thought of as an amateur. Always check grammar and spelling. It doesn't matter if you're the worst writer in the world or the best, (and I do it all the time) misspelled words never look good. If you don't trust yourself, ask a friend to do it for you.

Try to stay close to the characters - can you actually picture Rogue doing this? Would Logan REALLY bungee jump off a bridge with a bunch of roses professing his love in a lovely soprano? Don't let the story swallow your character - let your characters guide the story. The easy part is done. They're there, they're wonderfully complex, and they're already developed for you. You just have to take it the rest of the way.

Don't pay attention to how many reviews you get, but who you get them from. Read their stuff, what they do, how they review. My favorite story that I've written, "The Road Before Us" got exactly eleven reviews. Instinct, my Charlie's Angels fic - got 230. That means NOTHING. It's who gives you the review, what they say about it. What do they like? What don't they like? Listen to your reader. It's who you're writing for. If you're writing for yourself, then why are you even posting it? I'm not saying you have to take every single piece of advice, because some of them are just plain silly - but you can tell the good from the bad.

Don't be afraid to take criticism. If you wanna get better - you have to listen to the people that have been there a while. And trust me when I say this: your first story, if you've never written before, will ALWAYS SUCK. Just deal with it, work with it, and get better. You will. I mean God. I SUCKED. BIG TIME.

And by all means, please. Keep writing. That's what it takes.