'It's not at the graveside,
Where their shell rots away.
It's not in the things they owned
That surround you still.
It's in the things you shared together,
While they still smiled at the life you shared.
That's where they live,
And nothing will ever erase them
Until you too fall under the soil.'
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Three years.
Three years of seasons, of winters so harsh they had to chisel water out of the ground, her back bent over using a handaxe to get ice. Other women around her showing her how to do it without cutting into the earth.
Logan helped to build a new school, the children that were here had quiet faces and a soft manner. That didn't stop them from playing tricks on each other, but it was always in good humour. Even she came under attack in her first year, frogs in her desk, even a snake once. But all she did was gently take the creature out of the desk and let it out of the window. Her lessons were centered around the government curriculum but she also added the things they'd need to survive. Which she learnt from the women and elders around her.
By her second year teaching she had enough knowledge herself to camp comfortably outside in any weather, to find food and prepare it. Some of the older boys were resistant to her lessons at first because it was what their mothers did. It was only when she explained that one day their mothers wouldn't be here to do it for them did they finally enter into the lessons. Seeing Logan doing what was considered 'woman's work' also helped, he gathered water, found food plants, helped women make drying racks for the meat they all hunted. To them there were no differential's there was just 'work', as long as they kept within the boundaries of the tribal laws they were fine.
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She was doing a lesson with her class when her nose detected a very odd smell, a sweet cloying smell that she hadn't picked up before from a tuber. Holding it to her nose the earth still sticking to it she breathed it in deep. One of her helpers just smiled at her and patted her arm, the older woman's fingers resting calmly on her bare skin. Her mouth wound into a smile and she shouted over to her friends who were gathering reeds, something in their own language Marie just didn't understand yet. She caught some of the reply, 'about time' but when she turned back to her class they all had smiles on their faces. Several said they wouldn't tell their families until she'd told Logan, it wouldn't do for the father not to know before the rest of the community.
Thats how she'd found out she was pregnant, digging up a tuber of an iris. When she'd gotten back to the classroom and the kids were processing the root the older helper picked up her tuber and sniffed it. Making some of the girls laugh as she did it, her voice rich and old ran over the room. "Yes I know I'm too old now but remember this lesson, the root only smells sweet to women who're carrying. Many girls have had quick marriages because of this and regretted it later, so be careful who you give your secrets to." Chastened the children got back to work and Marie just smiled.
Pregnant.
A word she thought would never pass her lips but when she found Logan later that day his back bent over a ditch, sweat beading on his bare back. School was out and he was working on a water line with several others, the men were still a little stand-offish with her but they'd taken to Logan well. It was his quiet attitude and solid nature they enjoyed, his temper was still under the surface but he hadn't drawn his claws more than three times since they were here.
Only once had he drawn them on a man, a man who'd been on the slide to alcholism. Logan had caught him trying to rob his wife and children, he'd gotten away with a scar pattern on his back. It could've been worse but the elders had come down on Logan's side, he'd revealed them to the elders that day. It was something of a shock to see them nod and take it all in their stride, as if a man having such things was normal.
But they never treated him any differently, none of them did. So when she stood there at the edge of the pit holding a piece of the root in her hand, several men stopped digging. Their eyes drawn to the dirt encrusted root and a smile on their faces, when Logan finally turned around his eyes were alive. Fully alive for the first time; she'd seen them sad, happy, filled with rage but never this alive, this calm.
She never got to say the words because he just climbed out, plucked her from the ground and spun her around. A deep throated laugh echoing from his chest and a grin that split his face in half.
The men around them were whooping and slapping him on the back, their celebrations were heartfelt and she could feel her estimation go up in the mens eyes. As Logan put her down he pulled her to him, whispering in her ear, "Didn't want to believe it, could smell ya were different but I didn't want to get your hopes up."
Since she'd been on the reservation she'd come off her pill but her periods were never regular and as such they'd thought she was pregnant before. She'd even gotten him to go an buy a test for her, but it had always been negative. He'd never admonished her, but held her close and told her there was more time, they had plenty of time to have children. Now her body had decided it was the right time.
Later that night she'd taken a test she'd had laying in the small bathroom cabinet, it turned blue, so the root wasn't lying and she had a grin that took five months to remove. When her feet swelled up for the first time and she felt like a cow with sore udders. Logan had just offered to carry her everywhere, the thought of him doing it made her head spin. It was winter, her second winter and he was offering to carry her through snow drifts. She declined the offer but the smile he put on her face was enough to cheer her spirits.
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The birth of their first child came on a day when she was teaching under a blossoming cherry, her body resting against the smooth bark. The sudden pain and rush of water took her by surprise, she'd been having cramp all day and had put it down to her bad sleeping position. As soon as it was realised that this was 'it' several children ran to get the grandmothers. Marie sent out for Logan who was up building a new meeting hall with several others. They'd started a small company now and Logan was part of it, he did a lot of the designing and safety of the buildings.
When Logan got there she was already being supported by three women, her dress up around her waist, out in the spring air. A soft blanket was laid under her rear and a woman shifted so Logan could take her place between her spread legs.
Six hours of swearing, cursing, pain and blood, under the spring sun, and as her baby crowned the women with her looked around to see the child's guardian spirit. One woman cried out making Marie follow her gaze, there in the bushes, drawn by the scent of blood a dark coloured head protruded. A line of white above it's twinkling eyes, going down the head mirroring the twin streaks through Marie's own hair.
Logan moved his gaze for a moment to see the flash of fur as it disappeared, his grunt of 'Figures,' enough to make Marie try to smile through the pain as her baby finally entered the world. Sliding out of one safe place to be caught by her husband's large hands, nestled safely in his grip. The look on his face as he held up their child to the evening sun, checking him over for defects, nuzzling and licking the tender skin of his son. Clearing his tiny nose and mouth with his own, the first cry from their son loud and long. The women around her singing in their own soft and haunting melodies, knowing they were encouraging the babies soul to stay here. Logan rested him on her chest as her hands fluttered to touch him, she'd been carrying him for so long he'd seemed distant, not real until now.
They all stayed out there, several other families coming to see the new arrival, a small bivowac was built around them. It was deemed unlucky to move a child until it's first day had passed, women bustled men out of the way as Marie was washed clean and examined for tearing. She knew a visit to the small hospital was in order later but now all she wanted was to sleep. Her baby was cleaned, dressed in soft cloth, while her body expelled what was left. Only then was she allowed to sleep by the women around her, she asked for Logan and he came in. It wasn't the way the tribe did things but she needed him close, needed to see him, scent him, touch him.
As she slept her fingers resting on his arm as he cradled their son in front of the fire, greeting and speaking to the well wishers that came to see the new arrival. Her fingers tingling at the sensation under their pads, knowing that Logan felt complete, a father, a man worthy of respect. She fell into sleep, a day she would remember for two reasons, it was the day her son was born and it was the day her powers returned.
Later when she touched her child she could sense what was wrong, what he needed from her. It was as simple as that, a feeling from a touch, it was only when she reached out to thank a friend that her touch gave her their emotions and thoughts did it sink in. Her gift, her 'medicine' had returned, but this time she didn't cause pain or death. Only draining the surface thoughts of those around her, a touch telepathy if it could be called it.
When she revealed it to Logan his reaction wasn't what she'd expected, he didn't do anything. He just rolled over to get comfortable with her resting on him with their baby. Holding her hand in his he just looked at her, "I love you, I trust you, hell I *married* you and that means *all* of you, skin or no skin. Try to focus on taking something from me, other than thoughts."
She was unsure, did she really want to open that box? Hadn't the cure been about solving her touch problem now he wanted her to try to take more than she was already getting from him?
"You sure?" Logan nodded to her, his face certain, his deep gaze solid. As her hand crept up his skin she could feel his calm, he was so sure that she wouldn't hurt him. He loved her, all of her and she thought about the ache that still filled her womb. The cramps of her womb returning to normal size were horrific and she'd never complain about period pains again. She wanted them to stop and Logan had the ability to help her, all she had to do was find his power and use a little of it.
When it started it felt like warm water running through her, pooling in her groin as she felt the pain draining away. Logan was still with her, he wasn't passing out, his skin still held the delicate tracery of her touch but he was calm, happy even. Even before she drew her hand away he was kissing her, letting her know he loved her, needed her, was proud of her. It was only her son letting them both know he was hungry that split them apart.
Life was good here, things had changed again but she felt more in charge of herself, more balanced, more together. It didn't take much to throw that off balance though, a small black jet and a face she thought she'd never see again.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Change comes to us all, but on this level it's something that you don't feel, it just *happens* and when life outside invades they don't recognise you anymore.