The night after Logan took off to find out about his past, Rogue curled in her armchair, covered by a blanket and surrounded by cushions, and cried.
She cried because Logan was gone, left and only thing she got from him were his dog tags. He had promised to protect her! At least to her, protecting her meant he would stick around. And he had just left because the professor had thrown some bone at him.
She cried because now no one would understand why she woke up in the middle of the night screaming. No one would hold her through the sheets; tell her over and over again that the images weren’t real, that he was sorry she had them. No one who wouldn’t flinch away every time she came close.
She cried because of her mutation. Because she had to have a room for herself so she wouldn’t hurt anyone. Because she had to be covered from head to toe all day, no matter how hot it was outside, so that no one will accidentally touch her.
She cried because she was alone. And she would be alone for the rest of her life. And she would be for a while in the mansion because having killer skin and using it against a mutant and then being abducted by Magneto and almost dying and coming back (almost killing another mutant) wasn’t something that pushed people close to you.
And hugging her knees she would cry, all night, watching the shadows of her room. She would cry herself to sleep.
XXX
She felt the tears running down her cheeks even before she made it to the armchair. She sat there, hugged her knees, and cried. She always cried in that particular spot. Covered by a blanket and surrounded by cushions, just like the first time she cried there.
And she remembered that first time, and a soft, unexpected chuckle escaped her lips. I was so naïve! she thought, feeling her hair with her ungloved hand. And that feeling was too much for her, and a sob, and a wet spot in her jeans, and she started crying again.
And she cried because she had taken the cure, for her and for Bobby, and for Logan, and for Ororo, and for everyone else. And now she felt empty and helpless. Her last defense was gone, and now she was just a regular human.
And she cried because all the people in the school that weren’t close to her looked at her with hate and despite, because she was a human by choice, she had preferred being normal to being a mutant, and they wouldn’t accept it.
And she cried because the ones close to her couldn’t understand why she had made such a choice, why it was so important to her to be able to touch someone, to be able to think of a future where she could have a husband, and children, and wear sleeve-less dresses and t-shirts, and skirts without stockings.
And she cried because those who should be there for her, to help her get through all, were away. Logan was still mourning Jean, and didn’t go out of his room often, as if avoiding her. Bobby had dumped her, a week after she had taken the cure, and now he was with Kitty, whom she thought was her friend.
And she hugged her knees harder, shivering, but didn’t reach for the blanket, because she knew that the cold she was feeling wasn’t because of the weather. It belonged to the growing hole in her heart.
And she stayed like that, gazing through the window, tears falling down her cheeks. And she cried herself to sleep.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
This story came to me after a really bad day, I hope you guys like it :)