Located at the end of a corridor, staring out at the mansion’s grounds, Logan tried to think over the recent revelation. Of course it was a shock, it would’ve been a shock for anyone, but Logan, unfortunately had his own way of dealing with things. It involved running, which was exactly what he had done – and he hated himself for it.
His head was an absolute myriad of thoughts and emotions and it was impossible for Professor Xavier to miss. Whilst the man always stood strongly by his morals of not using his telepath when uninvited, it was impossible to ignore the strong feelings permeating from Logan. Slowly, Charles rolled into the corridor to see Logan stood at the window, the afternoon sunlight brightly outlining his silhouetted form.
“Logan?” he asked quietly, tone gentle and accepting.
“Not now, eh, Professor?” Logan sighed, not looking back at Charles. His forearm leaned against the glass, supporting his weight wearily.
The Professor was not quite so quickly deterred. “I see Jean discharged you this morning.”
“Yeah, she did.”
“How are you feeling?”
Logan let out a bitter chuckle. “Take a guess, how does it look like I feel?”
“Well, I don’t know, Logan. You’re feeling so much at this moment that it’s pervading through the physic barriers very strongly.”
“Don’t worry, I ain’t letting Wolverine nowhere.”
“That’s not what concerns me.”
There was a silence from Logan as he slowly looked round at the Professor. Should he tell him? What good could it do? But then again what harm could it do? He felt as if time was closing in fast for him to make a decision. Rogue had inadvertently given him an ultimatum – face up to his responsibilities or run from them. Unfortunately, the latter was very tempting. “I’ve made a very big mistake,” he said eventually.
Charles was as placid as ever. “And what is that?”
Slowly, Logan turned from the window, and now it was evident to see anxiety wearily worn into his face. “You knew about me and Rogue, right?”
“Knew what?”
Logan grunted. Charles never liked to make things too easy. “Stop playin’ games with me, I ain’t in the mood.”
“And I’m afraid you’ll have to be straightforward with me or else you’ll forever skirt around your problem.”
There was a small scowl on Logan’s face as he was forced to approach the issue by his own tongue. “Did you know we had a relationship?”
“I was given no direct information, but it is evident that you both care for each other deeply.”
“Yeah,” Logan sighed quietly. “Well, all that care has got us in some trouble.”
“Do explain.”
Logan closed his eyes for a moment. Charles’s extreme patience was overwhelming; he only wished he had that same tolerance. “She’s got herself pregnant.” He grimaced at himself. He made it sound so harsh, so wrong, like it was all her fault.
There was a momentary silence from Charles before he eventually responded. “Then I take it congratulations are in order.”
“No! Congratulations ain’t in order!” exclaimed Logan heatedly, frustrated at how composed Charles could be. “Do you really think now is the best time to have a kid? After everything that’s happened recently? Hell, I don’t even know if any time would be a best time!”
“I trust Rogue told you the news.”
“Yeah.”
“And did you react this way with her?”
Logan glanced towards the man uncomfortably for a moment. “How’d you expect me to react, Charles?”
“I think you need to take into consideration how Rogue may be feeling right now. A child may not have been on both of your minds, but fretting over that is too late, the fact is there is a child and you’ve turned your back on it.” His tone had become stern, clearly not pleased at Logan’s attitude towards the pregnancy.
“Look, I’ll probably go and see her later, but right now I need to sort my head out.”
“You need to make a decision, Logan. Whether you like it or not, Rogue is now carrying your child, and I would be disappointed to find you cannot accept responsibility for your actions. I trust you’ll make the correct choice, in time.”
There was a low sigh from Logan as he slumped back against the window. “It just proves how badly suited we were.”
“Logan, do you love her?”
“Of course I do.”
“And it is clear that feeling is requited. That doesn’t sound badly suited to me.”
Logan fell silent as he watched the floor, allowing the Professor’s words to slowly stew inside his head. “I bet she damn near hates me after the way I went off..”
“It is not too late for second chances, Logan.”
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It was a nice change to have no injured mutants in the infirmary Jean considered, as she crouched in front of one of the metal cabinets, setting clean bed sheets on the shelves within. Rogue had been brought in and out of the infirmary like a yo-yo over the past few months, so it remained to be rather unsurprising to see her making her way in through the parting metal doors once more.
Jean quickly looked over her shoulder with curiosity. “Rogue? Are you alright?”
The poor girl looked like she was ready to cry on the spot. She shrugged pitifully at Jean as she came further inside. “Have you seen Logan?” was all she asked at this point, skirting the issue at hand.
“No,” Jean replied gently, lifting from her hands and knees to turn and look at her. “What’s happened?”
Rogue continued to walk closer, but stopped a short distance from Jean, wringing her hands weakly. “He’s not very happy,” she mumbled, still avoiding the subject.
“Why’s that?” asked Jean, her voice soft and encouraging.
There was a low sigh as Rogue studied her hands, finding it hard to say the words. At least she didn’t have to with Logan; he stumbled in and saw the evidence. But now, to try and tell Jean, despite her doctor status, was terrifying. How would she react? Would she disagree with the situation? Be angry with Logan? Be disappointed with Rogue? “I came down earlier,” Rogue explained slowly, still not finding it in her to look at Jean. “I came to get a pregnancy test.”
There was a moment’s silence during which Rogue knew Jean was trying to digest this information. But true to her professional nature, Jean steeled herself and continued on with a non-judgemental crispness to her tone. “How far along are you?”
Rogue was thankful Jean didn’t make things difficult. Happen the woman realised how hard this was for her. “Almost five weeks.”
“I see,” said Jean quietly, and now Rogue chanced a small glance up at her. Happen she saw the fear in Rogue’s eyes, and the underlying panic and concern that were becoming even worse since her dispute with Logan; for when she spoke again, her tone was soft and reassuring. “Does Logan know?”
Rogue nodded numbly.
“How did he take the news?”
“Badly.”
Jean sighed quietly, extending a hand to comfortingly take Rogue’s shoulder. “As hopeless as this may sound now, don’t worry. Here, at the mansion, we will support you no matter what choices you make; whether you chose to have the baby or not.”
“N-no, I want it,” said Rogue quickly, abashed at the thought of aborting it. She couldn’t do that, not when this was possibly the only potential chance of her having a child. She knew it would be extremely unlikely to ever find another man who would want a relationship with her, let alone risk their life trying to impregnate her.
“I’d like to give you a physical, and just check all is well, then,” said Jean, nodding her head as she watched Rogue. “The past five weeks have been trying ones, and I’m concerned of the impact it could have on the baby.” She gestured Rogue towards the centre table, leading her there. “I’m sorry Logan reacted the way he did, but right now you need to concentrate on your health. Yours and the baby’s.”
“I know,” said Rogue softly, lifting herself up to sit on the edge of the table. “I know..”
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At least having Jean on her side made Rogue feel a whole lot stronger. The woman had been extremely helpful and reassuring to Rogue, even throughout the medical examination. She promised Rogue that she wouldn’t be alone during the pregnancy and also mused on what could be the first baby ever born into the mansion.
But during the examination, Jean’s expression changed. She was looking over her collection of bodily samples and analysing them at her desk. She straightened, checking again before she looked towards Rogue with a concerned frown. Rogue felt her gut perform an anxious twinge. “Jean? Is the baby ok?”
“Well, I..” she stopped, as if trying to work something out from the results before her. “Rogue.. there is no baby.”
Rogue felt her heart break and rise at the same time. “What do you mean there’s no baby?” she asked hurriedly, pushing off the table and staring at Jean.
“The readings are negative.. it seems there’s been some sort of hormonal imbalance that caused the test to be positive.”
“Hormonal imbalance?” questioned Rogue, getting into a state of repetition.
Jean shook her head slowly, thinking. “But this is rare.. it can only happen if you’ve been subjected to.. oh, of course!”
“Of course, what?!” snapped Rogue, becoming increasingly frustrated. She wanted answers, clear-cut answers so she could work out if she needed to grieve or feel relieved, because right now she was torn between the two.
Jean pulled her glasses from her nose, looking towards Rogue slowly. “The radiation levels from Magneto’s machine must have affected your hormonal levels, which is also what caused your period to be late.”
“So, there was no baby?”
“No.. I’m sorry, Rogue. I truly am.”
Still unable to decide if she was thrilled or heart broken, Rogue only managed a small, weak nod as she moved to put her boots back on. Straightening, she glanced at Jean, “Is this permanent? Will I ever be able to have children?” she avoided mentioning the dangers of her skin. Her question really was, will I ever be able to have children with the only man I can touch?
“It’s very unlikely that it’s permanent,” replied Jean, “The effects are harmless towards mutants. It has simply disrupted your normal body pattern, but I think you’ll find things are back to normal soon.”
“Back to normal,” repeated Rogue numbly, staring at the floor for a moment before she quietly said. “I’ll see you later, Jean,” and she swiftly departed from the infirmary, making a beeline for her bedroom.
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She didn’t know how long she had been staring at the ceiling for. Though she had noticed the darkening rays of sunshine slowly vanish as the sun sank slowly down the horizon. Lying atop her bedcovers, fully clothed, Rogue had entered her room, climbed upon her bed and not moved since. She was thankful Jean hadn’t followed her up, because she felt she needed to spend time by herself to gather her thoughts after such a dramatic day. However, she had a feeling Jean would soon be badgering her with questions on her well being.
That’s why, when she heard the knock on the door, she remained silent. She didn’t want to talk to Jean or anyone else right now. The knock persisted a few more times before a soft grunt sounded through the wood. “Hey, Marie, I know you’re in there. Open the door.” Rogue quickly lifted her head off her pillow, staring through her darkened room at her closed door.
“Logan?”
“I need to talk to you.”
There was no anger in his tone, nor any disappointment. In fact, he seemed rather impatient to see her. Quickly, she rolled off the bed, hurrying to the door and pulling back the latch. Cautiously, she opened the door a short way to see Logan peering down at her anxiously.
“Y’gonna let me in or what?”
Rogue promptly opened the door wider, blinking up at Logan in silence. He entered, turning and shutting the door behind him as he did so. Then, startling Rogue, he swiftly pulled her towards him in a tight embrace, his hands gripping against her clothes securely as though she may slip from his grasp. “God, I’ve been such a bastard to you,” he muttered into her shoulder, eyes closed as he held her against him. “I’m so sorry for how I went off earlier. It just.. shocked me, that’s all. But listen to me now,” he pulled back, eyes shining as he burst into the words he had been raring to say, “I am not letting you do this alone, I’m not. I love you, Marie, and I’m gonna love this kid as must as I do you. I promise you that. I should’ve said this straight away.. but please, don’t hate me for what I did.”
Staring at him, Rogue found her voice, of which came out soft and weak. “I don’t hate you..”
“Good,” Logan whispered quickly, reaching in and stealing a sudden kiss from her lips before pulling back. “’Cause I don’t know what I would do if you did.” He was smiling now, looking happier than Rogue had seen him in a long time. “This is it now, Marie. This is our future. A family.”
She knew she should have stopped him sooner, but the more he spoke of their future, the more she found herself believing it as much as he did. Subconsciously, she lowered a hand towards her abdomen, as though trying to will life into it. Logan noticed her movement, and his hand followed her own to slowly encircle her stomach before he took her hand in his own.
“Marie? You haven’t spoken much,” he said softly, though tone was still alight with feverish anticipation.
She smiled weakly at him, squeezing his hand in her own. “I need to tell you somethin’, Logan. I went to see Jean earlier after I got the test results.”
“Yeah?” he asked softly, eyes transfixed on her face as though he had never seen anything so beautiful.
There was a small nod before Rogue continued, and found her voice cracking slightly in yet-released tears. “The test was wrong.”
Before her very eyes, it was if the newfound happiness in Logan had been extinguished. The gleam in his eyes dullened almost immediately. “What do you mean wrong? It was positive. You read it out to me.”
“I know,” she whispered weakly. “Jean says it’s to do with that machine Magneto had. The radiation effected me somehow, and that’s what caused the false reading.”
Logan was just staring at her, speechless. Twice in one day he felt everything had come crashing down around him. “There’s no baby?”
“No, no baby.”
“Marie..” he pulled her back in against him again, enclosing his arms tightly about her shoulders as he felt her give a soft sob of tears. The day had overwhelmed her, and now, she wasn’t even sure what she was crying for. Logan held her against him, keeping his embrace about her sobbing form, which had slumped weakly to his chest. “I’m sorry..”
“What for?”
Logan placed a gentle kiss to her temple. “For everything.” His arms did not loosen their hold about her and he gently buried his face into her neck. “Does this mean you can’t ever.. ?”
“No,” whispered Rogue quietly. “I can still have kids one day. That’s if.. you ever want to.”
“Why me?”
Rogue gave a watery smile as she pulled back to look up at him. “Wouldn’t want anyone else, Logan. Plus you’re the only one I can touch, and the only one I’d ever want to touch.”
“Sounds like we still got that future then.”
“Yeah, it’s just not as soon as we thought it would be,” replied Rogue, slowly resting her head against his chest. “One day.. we could just be like any normal couple. A house.. some kids.”
“A dog,” added Logan.
Rogue laughed quietly, “A dog?”
“Yeah. Why, don’t you want a dog?”
“No, that’s fine. We can have a dog,” said Rogue, smiling up at him now. She sighed quietly a moment, content to simply watch him and be happy in the knowledge that she had him back. “So, is this the real deal, then? Is this what love is all about?”
“That depends if you love me or not. I’ve never heard you say it.”
Rogue grinned bashfully for a moment before she nodded her head. “Of course I love you, Logan. Couldn’t do anythin’ else! I’m surprised though.. you started out as one of these guys who only ever went after a casual fling.”
“Yeah,” Logan sighed, slowly stroking his fingers against her back. “It was just a way out, I guess. An attempt to try and get away from all my bad experiences.”
“Is it different now?”
Logan lowered his eyes upon her. “Of course it is. I got you now, kid, and that’s all I’ll ever need.”
With a content smile, Rogue resumed her head to his chest, holding onto him. To think, all those many months ago, she had been nothing but a runaway, lost, scared and alone. And now, the very man who had rescued her then was never going to leave her side.
When Logan had picked up the young girl, this would have been the last thing he expected. Finding her had been finding the solution to all his problems, and he would ensure she knew that ever day they lived together. Rogue had been the answer to his despair, and he had been the answer to hers. They both knew that, so much so, that when apart, they just didn’t work anymore. A life without each other wasn’t one that could function. It would make no sense, it would have no meaning. And to think, as clichéd as it sounded, that all this runaway pair ever needed was one thing. Love.
THE END
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