Folded memories in my soul
It's that old blue line that you can never go back home
So I'm waiting for the moon to rise
He'll kiss my tears away and set my heart in line.


"You Can't Go Home" by Nanci Griffith



I never expected to come bounding down the stairs to dinner and see Logan standing there. The strangest part is that there wasn't any real pleasure in the discovery, just shock. I couldn't believe he was standing there. I'd been telling myself for so long that my Logan would never leave me that seeing Wolverine standing a few feet in front of me came as a disturbing intrusion of reality on my happy fantasy world.

Every night, I feel asleep in Logan's arms, wrapped up in them without a second thought for deadly skin or gut-wrenching nightmares. We had each other and nothing else mattered. All the rules that applied to everyone and everything else meant nothing because we were together and that was that. I could have him anytime I wanted him. I didn't need Wolverine in my life again.

"Hey, kid."

I couldn't read a damn thing in his expression, but the fact that he called me kid made me want to rip out his vocal chords and wrap them around his neck a few times for good measure. I don't even remember being a kid. I'm surely not one. And no man who ran out and left me alone with my fantasies was going to call me anything I didn't want to be called. I was glaring at him when I said, "Mah name's Rogue. Use it if ya feel the need ta talk to me."

I walked into the kitchen and didn't look back and didn't feel bad for the not looking. Logan might have been a day-to-day reality in my head, but Wolverine was just a man, a man I'd never really known. I sat down at the table and accepted the sandwich Ororo held out to me, scowling at nothing in particular. She knew what had happened, obviously. She must have heard. She didn't say anything, and I'll be forever grateful for that. I just wanted to be angry at him and eat my lunch and then forget that I'd ever been mad at all, that he'd ever come back.

Mostly, I just wanted him to leave.
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