A nest of birds chirped wildly above her in the rafters of the porch roof. With the sun shining brightly, life around the Summer’s home was lively. Vaguely, she could pick up on the conversation Scott and Nathan were having at the other end of the deck where they were working, but her eyes kept drifting towards the forest line. The forest was quiet. No sounds of joyful birds echoed within the sturdy trees, only the hum of a light wind fluttering between the green leaves. To her, it was far too quiet. As though the forest was isolating and protecting what lay within its depths, warding off any that dared approach it.
Logan was in the forest, that much she knew for sure. It had been two days since their confrontation in the forest, two days since he had stormed out from the Summer’s kitchen, two days since she had seen him last. He no longer came to the house but she knew somehow he was still getting work done.
She hadn’t experienced any memory flashbacks as powerful as the ones in the forest but with the absence of Logan she felt a sudden longing and with that she started to welcome whatever emotions that would pour over her when she thought of him. When she closed her eyes she would see brief images of his lips breaking into a full smile, the sound of his laughter echoing in her ears followed by hers and she felt safe, she felt comforted. Closing her eyes she would feel his hands on her body, his teeth grazing her collar bone and she would ache. She ached for him and she didn’t even have all the answers, she wondered how much stronger her feelings for him could get. She felt consumed by him and he was constantly taking up her thoughts.
No large memories came to her but she felt herself awakening. She found herself no longer blind to the possibilities around her, no longer blind to her emotions. A strange feeling of hope would grip her at times but she found herself still protective, still unsure. She was walking on ground she may have walked before but her previous footprints were like sand in the wind, hidden from her and no longer seen; it may not be new territory for Scott or Logan but to her it was.
With her eyes on the edge of the forest she no longer felt doubtful or weary of Scott and Logan, the part inside of her that was bursting to life begged her to believe. It was all so strange but she wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t even curious, all she wanted was to feel.
Briefly, she tuned back into Scott and Nathan’s words as they hammered nails into the porch, the sound suddenly gave her a headache. With the slow return of her memories, even her senses appeared to become even more enhanced, much clearer as though she was finally accepting them.
“We need some more wood,” Scott spoke.
Nathan sighed. “Going back and forth takes up too much time when we could both be working on the deck,” he mumbled as he started to head for the direction of the forest.
“I’ll get it,” she found herself speaking up.
Nathan looked at her and smiled lightly. His smile was much more constrained lately with her, ever since Logan had stormed out of the kitchen. She didn’t have to wonder if he noticed she hadn’t kissed him on the lips since then.
“You’re suppose to be here to relax not work,” he teased.
She walked down the steps towards him and squeezed his hand. “I don’t mind.”
He nodded and turned back towards Scott.
It took some effort on her part not to sprint towards the forest, her body urged her on to what lay past the trees but she fought it. The Summer’s land was expansive and she knew for the past two days Logan had been cutting down a few trees for more wood just past the edge of the forest line where a new pile of wood was now sitting.
As soon as she passed by a particularly large tree with low branches she turned and glanced back at the house and could only see the roof through the thick branches. Walking a little further in she could see the wood waiting up ahead. The thought of collecting it right away and heading back came to her but as soon as her nose picked up on a familiar scent on the wind the idea was no longer appealing. Instead, she followed the scent deeper into the forest.
She heard him before she saw him. A few grunts as he worked traveled through the lush undergrowth but other then that he was silent, just like the forest around him, as though they both had an understanding. He had his back to her as he worked, at first she wasn’t sure of what he was doing but as her eyes darted around the marked tree trunks she realized he was planting new trees and plants to make up for the damage he had caused, she wondered if he had to do it a lot.
She stayed rooted in the spot as she took in his shirtless form. The muscles under his youthful tanned skin moved each time he dug with the shovel. The sun that made its way through the growth of trees glistened off of his back light with sweat.
Her head suddenly swam as she reached out and leaned against a tree. Her eyes clenching shut as an image bore through her mind with intensity.
The stench of beer, smoke, cheap perfume and vomit perforated her senses. The bar was dark and dim. Planks of wood criss-crossed the beams that held the structure up causing the bar to look more like a maze of wood work. There was a slight chill to the place, practically in the shadows but no where near as cold as it was outside and each time the rickety doors were pushed open it was easy to catch a glimpse of the white snow.
She stood alone in the shadows and realized all the attention was directed at the other side of the bar, which was unusually loud. Stepping closer she made out the structure of the large metal cage and moved up even closer, mindless of the rowdy men that cheered harshly beside her.
The sound around her was drowned out as she caught a glimpse of the man leaning up against the cage, all she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat. He was dressed only in dark jeans that clung to his form and were held up by a large belt buckle, the rest of him was just skin. His back was well muscled and smooth, and she found herself licking her dry lips. Dark hair styled in a familiar way let her know with out a doubt who it was, but it wasn’t needed, she remembered that back, she remembered how it felt to run her fingers down it, what her lips felt like on it, the feel of her teeth nipping the skin, the feel of her breasts pressed up against it naked and covered in warm sheets, the feel of her arms wrapped around it tight as the engine of a motorcycle purred beneath her.
“Wolverine, King of the Cage.”
The crowd yelled loudly and her mind swam again.
She opened her eyes to find the sun still shinning brightly. Slowly, she leaned up off of the tree and let her eyes concentrate on the figure before her. Logan hadn’t moved at all but she knew he knew she was there. He straightened up and his back heaved as he took a deep breath. She licked her lips and didn’t hesitate as she approached him.
She walked forward and she didn’t realize she already had her hand stretched out in front of her, eager to feel him. He didn’t turn around and he didn’t say anything but she noted the way his body tensed.
“What are you doing here?” he asked with his face still hidden from her, his voice low, tense and rough all in one.
She found herself silent as she moved to stand behind him. She didn’t want words; she wanted to feel, to touch. Tentatively, her hand hovered over his skin, but before she could touch him, he turned around. She took a step back merely because of the look in his eyes. He was tormented. So much pain shined in his conflicted eyes that she could see a simmering rage beneath them.
“I asked you, what are you doing here?” he ground out, his words slow and measured but only barely as a small growl followed.
Her hand dropped beside her, forgotten. She wasn’t afraid but she was suddenly aware that Logan was a dangerous man. She knew somehow that he wouldn’t hurt her, not on purpose but she was hurting him with her presence. Tormenting him with what he couldn’t have. She felt like she owed him something, perhaps everything without even truly knowing why. She was surprised to find the thought didn’t even scare her.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she breathed.
His eyes flickered as his head ticked to the side. An angry smirk that was more of a snarl twisted his lips.
“Forgive me if I don’t want to watch you fucking with another man,” he spat angrily.
“You didn’t have a problem with it before,” the words flowed past her lips before she could stop them.
He took a step forward, his neck stretched out as his eyes narrowed. “That ain’t fucking true! I had a problem with it the minute I found out but I didn’t show it because I needed to know first if it was really you and it is, we both know that now, even if you haven’t gotten all your memories back. So what’s your fucking excuse now?”
She leaned back on the heels of her feet. “I’m not sleeping with him; I’m not doing anything with him.”
His top lip stretched back as he finally let the snarl flow on his face. “Not anything?” he snorted in disbelief. “He gets to wake up beside you every morning, he gets to bath in your scent, in your presence and you say it as though it is nothing. It’s everything.”
She bowed her head down, silently acknowledging his words. “I’m…”she opened her mouth to speak but nothing followed, she wasn’t sure what to say. Did she say she was sorry, when truly to her immediate knowledge Nathan was the first one she had met, was who she had come with. Could she say sorry and really mean it when she had no memories of Logan and her being lovers? Somehow he must have known how torn she felt because he took a step back. Instead, she said, “I wish you would come back to the house.”
He half way turned from her. “I told you…”
“I know,” she interrupted him. “It’s just…would it help if I said I missed you.”
He looked at her sharply.
“You wanted my memories to come back and all I’ve gotten since you’ve left is just feelings and a sense of déjà vu, but when…when I’m with you that’s when they feel the strongest, that’s when they come.”
“What else have you seen?” he asked seriously.
She felt a blush creep up on her face and the snarl on his face once again turned into a smirk.
“What was it?”
“Just now, I saw you and it was the first time I ever saw you and you were framed by the metal of the cage.”
His smirk turned playful.
“It was a classy place to meet wasn’t it?” he murmured almost affectionately.
“Why was I there?”
He sighed. “You ran away from home when you found out you were a mutant and you ended up hitchhiking across the States and Canada and you somehow ended up in that dive of a bar in Laughlin City.”
“Oh,” she murmured as her eyebrows narrowed in thought. “And why…?”
“That’s all I’m goin’ to tell yah darlin’.”
Her eyes flashed with brief anger. “Then come back to the house.”
His face fell. “I can’t.”
Her voice rose up in frustration. “Then which is it to do you want, do you want me to remember or do you want me to move on!”
“I wish none of this had happened, I wish I could have protected you, saved you,” he whispered.
“You can’t change it now,” she yelled in further aggravation.
He was silent as the irritation rolled through her. “Just…just not yet, I can’t yet.”
She huffed. “You’re a coward.”
His head whipped around so fast she thought it was just a blur; he was on her before she even had a chance, his large, strong form leaning over her, his breath hot on her skin.
“You want to know why I can’t stand it, can’t stand watching you with him, knowing,” he spoke, his voice dangerously low, his hands gripped her arms on either side as he pulled her closer and shook her just a little. “YOU’RE MY WIFE!” he screamed. “Not just my lover, you are my wife! You were since the moment you were gone and to me since then you always have been! You’re MINE! Now I ask you which is worse, having no memories at all, no idea, or having those memories and watching the one person you love and give a damn about go off with someone else with no idea of what you had, of what you were, of who you really were to them, how much they mean to you!”
He was shaking so badly she wasn’t sure if it was just him or they both were. He let go of her as though she was suddenly to hot to touch and went to turn around but she reached up and gripped him hard turning him back. Without a word she leaned in and kissed him firmly, her hands moving around his shoulders, her finger nails kneading the skin and muscle. At first he struggled a little, but they both knew he could move away if he truly wanted to.
His mouth opened up and she pushed her tongue inside as the kiss became deeper and more fevered. She pressed her whole body against his as his hands came to wrap around her tightly. One hand traveled down his chest and trailed along the lines of his abs and then curled around to grip his hip. He turned them around until he had her pressed up against a tree, his whole body wrapping around her as he cut her off from the world and all she had was him.
His hands moved over her body desperately as he first pulled at her shirt, ripping the front of it and then deciding it took to much time his hand moved to grip her ass and his other roamed through her hair. A growl vibrated through his chest and she gasped at the sensation, her fingernails dragging across his skin and he bucked his hips against her.
“Marie,” he growled, his heated eyes pausing to look at her in question. She didn’t want him to stop.
Dragging her hands up around his neck she took the time to gaze back at him seriously, trying to emphasize the fact that she had a clear head. “I want this, I want this to happen,” she whispered. “I want you, I know that,” she gasped again as he pressed himself closer towards her. “I want just you.” With those four words the guarded pain in his eyes broke free and a flood of love and desire poured through.
He kissed her fiercely and then broke free as he moved his mouth along her chin towards her neck, where he breathed deeply taking her scent in and then nipped at the skin. She arched against him and realized she wanted to taste him. She leaned down and scented her nose along the skin of his shoulder and up towards his neck where her tongue darted out and she licked at his skin, tasting him and the salt of his sweat. She found her body purring similarly to his.
Urgently, she reached down and started to undo the buttons on his jeans. He gave another deep growl and she found her knees almost buckling. He grabbed her and pressed them both deeper against the tree.
“Logan,” she moaned as he worked his mouth along her skin again.
She finally had enough sense to move her hand back down towards his waist where she enjoyed the sensation of his well defined skin and muscles, her fingers pulling down the zipper as she went to drag her hand teasingly down his pants. Just as she went to dip her hand inside she heard a twig snap close by, too close for comfort. She stopped what she was doing but Logan continued kissing his way along her body.
Something was wrong; the air was suddenly thick with something other then their arousal. Tension, anger and shock filled the air and it wasn’t coming from either of them. Glancing across Logan’s shoulder she found the air in her lungs disappear as Nathan stood meters away from them.
She pushed Logan off of her but not enough that they still weren’t touching.
“Nathan,” she cried.
The lines of Nathan’s lips thinned in a grim expression as he suddenly turned and disappeared.
“Nathan,” she called again. “Wait.”
She moved past Logan but his hand gripped her wrist fiercely. “No,” he spoke, his eyes hard and possessive.
She didn’t move to wiggle out of his grip but her eyes pleaded with him. “Logan, this isn’t about me choosing him. I’m not rejecting you but he deserves the truth. He doesn’t deserve to go through this.”
“I don’t deserve this and either do you, it shouldn’t be like this,” he growled.
“No, it shouldn’t be this hard, but who’s to blame, Logan? Nathan certainly isn’t the one to be blamed,” she hurried. “Let go,” she added softly.
He complied and she ran as fast as she could after Nathan. Her heart ached with guilt but not for loving Logan more and Nathan less but for putting him through what was evidently to come. All he had ever been to her was nice, he’d never wronged her and now he had just witnessed two of the people he trusted and loved, wrong him in the worst possible way. And one thing she knew about Nathan was he deeply valued his trust and she didn’t blame him.
Movement behind her let her know Logan was moving just as quickly behind her. As she cleared the forest she could see Nathan angrily walking towards the house.
“Nathan,” she called.
He didn’t stop and he was already half way towards the house. With a sprint of energy she moved to catch up to him.
“Nathan, please, just wait a minute,” she spoke hurriedly as she approached his back. “Let me explain,” her voice breaking with emotion.
He abruptly stopped walking but his back was still facing her and it heaved with each angry breath. “I’m sorry you had to see that but you have to understand…”
She was cut off as he rapidly turned around and lunged towards her with large steps, for a second she thought he was going to attack her but instead his gaze ignored her and he launched himself behind her. Quickly, she turned around to see him lunge at Logan who stood waiting, his face unreadable.
“You bastard!” Nathan raged. “You fucking selfish bastard!”
Logan didn’t flinch as Nathan spat in his face.
“WHY! Why’d it have to be her? You could have anyone you wanted. Don’t you have any goddamn morals?!”
Logan’s head tilted and he whispered strongly with no shame, “I only want her.”
Nathan screamed in fury and pulled his fist back to connect with Logan’s jaw. Logan saw the punch coming before it hit him but he didn’t bother to move, instead she watched in horror as he took the punch, his neck snapping to the side, blood flying out of his mouth. Shaking his head Logan turned to face Nathan who was shaking with anger. With another yell Nathan moved in and hit him in the stomach. Again Logan made no attempt to defend himself. Again and again Nathan hit him until Logan finally dropped to his knees.
“Why won’t you fight back!?” Nathan screamed.
She stood in terror, already spotting the bruises forming on Logan’s face.
Logan wavered slightly but he managed to look up at Nathan, his left eye struggling to open. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Nathan stopped in mid attack and looked at him in surprise, she had a feeling it was the first time he had ever heard Logan truly apologize for anything.
“I’m truly sorry for the pain I have caused you but I’m not sorry that I did what I did, that I have her,” he spoke his words with no malice only truth but it did not matter.
Nathan’s knee came up and hit Logan under the chin. Logan fell back towards the ground.
“She’s MINE!” Nathan yelled.
A growl trickled in the back of her head as she watched and she knew Nathan was no longer safe. Logan was quick to his feet as he stopped Nathan’s impending hit and crushed his fist in his hand. Nathan grunted but didn’t cry out. Logan struck him across the face and with his hand still crushing Nathan’s he drove the other man to his knees.
“She was never yours,” he snarled.
Logan hit him again. “Stay down,” he growled.
But instead Nathan struck him in the mid section with his free hand.
“Stop it!” she yelled moving forward. Her head was pounding frantically and her vision was becoming strained. Her knuckles itched furiously to the point that the pain burned.
They ignored her and she moved forward again finding her breath was coming in short gasps.
“I trusted you,” Nathan spat. “And you didn’t deserve it.”
Nathan’s eyes flickered and with that one quick movement Logan was flung back towards the trees by an invisible hand. He was thrown so powerfully that when he crashed into the tree the large trunk split and as Logan fell to the ground the upper half of the trunk was already starting to fall, seconds away from crushing Logan.
“NOOO!” she screamed as she ran forward.
A red light flashed across the sky and came out of nowhere as the optic blast hit the tree trunk and blew it to pieces before it could hit Logan.
All she could she was red, her eyes stung and her ears hummed. She must have closed her eyes against the brightness of it but it still felt like it was burning through her own head. She opened her eyes and gazed down at her hands that were suddenly dripping red on their own. Blood trickled down her knuckles where three bone claws protruded from either hand. She screamed and screamed until her world became black.