She woke up slowly with her head still aching. The room was dark and she could tell it was night. A light flickered on suddenly beside her but she didn’t have the energy to jump in surprise. Scott was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his face was tense.
“You’re awake,” he spoke grimly.
“If that’s what you want to call it,” she murmured as she rubbed her forehead.
“We were worried about the effect on your body after what you just experienced.”
“And what exactly have I experienced?”
“I’ve seen it before in those who’ve been in the labs, something triggers their memories and the strength of their return can be almost severely harmful.”
She shrugged as she shifted up against the headboard.
“I don’t feel that great, but I’m coherent if that’s what you mean.”
“Perhaps I’ve harmed you in wishing you to stay here.”
She sighed. “You’ve only ever done your best, Scott; you’ve always looked after me, even when your intentions weren’t the best.”
He looked up at her suddenly with a flash of open hope.
She smiled at him. “I remember. I remember you, Scott.”
A smile broke across his face as he quickly leaned in and hugged her, she didn’t object as she wrapped her arms around his shaking frame.
“Rogue,” he gasped.
She nodded against him. “I’m here,” she whispered.
After a moment he pulled back with his hands still gripping hers. “I...I’ve missed you. I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “So sorry for everything and…”
“Scott, please it’s all alright.”
“But…”
“If you worry anymore you’ll get more wrinkles,” she teased.
“Says you, who doesn’t look a day older since the last time I saw you.”
She frowned.
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head. “It’s just…I know I’ve got my memory back but it’s like right now I’ve only been able to settle on certain things, I haven’t been able to absorb it all. It’s like something’s blocking me from the rest of it.”
Scott frowned. “It will all come to you in time. Your body needs to rest as it happens.”
“Or subconsciously am I protecting myself from some truth?”
Scott looked away from her as he sighed. “I’m not the one you should ask.”
Slowly, he edged along the chair, his elbows resting on his strong legs as he cradled his head.
“It shouldn’t be this damn hard,” he strained. “It’s never once fucking easy for us.”
Reaching out she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Please, Scott.”
Tentatively, he raised his head and glanced at her and the pain was raw on his face. “I know that’s hard to argue with but for now I’m happy to have been found, to have found you. This happened to be a chance of a thing and for that I can only be grateful right now.”
He reached up and held her hand as he gently kissed it. “Then so I’m I,” he whispered.
For a moment they just stared at each other and even though Scott’s eyes were forever hidden beneath his shades, words passed through them silently, messages of love, pain, sorrow, forgiveness and above all, happiness. A time shared of memories long ago and a bond of friendship that was still somehow ever present.
He coughed and looked out the window at the night sky, she followed his gaze and she could swear the scent of a cigar was wafting through the night.
“Where’s Logan?” she asked suddenly, remembering the last memory she had had. She knew there was no reason to be concerned he had been alive and while in her presence for the past week, however, it was still greatly unnerving.
He sighed. “I believe he’s around. He watched over you for most of the time but he somehow believed if he was the first one you woke up to, it would cause you further aggravation. He blames himself for your sudden violent return of memories.”
Her brow furrowed. “I suppose some things don’t change,” she murmured. “How can it be his fault when they were meant to return anyways? Besides,” she paused as she sheepishly glanced at him. “Truthfully, it wasn’t Logan; it was when your optic blast mixed with the fight that was the final blow.”
Scott sat back his mouth open in a mixture of surprise, shock and confusion and she could tell embarrassment. “Why?”
“I guess history was meant to repeat itself. I remember once coming across you and Logan arguing about me and you finished it by blasting Logan across the yard.”
Scott bowed his head. “I was wrong to have done that, young and stupid,” he murmured.
“Yeah, you definitely went overboard back then, but you weren’t necessarily wrong about what you said. I know back then things were messed up and Logan and I weren’t exactly the best well balanced people, not sure if we ever were, but you know, you weren’t saying anything Logan hadn’t already thought himself, or I hadn’t, your good intentions came across as pouring salt in open wounds.” She threw him a small smile. “Logan isn’t perfect Scott, but you have to realize he’s not just immoral either.”
“Believe me Rogue; I’ve learned my mistakes and what they have cost that man and you too. I found out a long time ago he is more then just the black and white that I had forced him into my view all those years ago.”
“With age comes wisdom,” she teased lightly.
“And Logan is beyond any of our years,” Scott murmured.
“Thank you for everything and thank you for looking after him.”
He smirked at her. “I really don’t think I’ve been looking after him, besides he’s made sure both Nathan and I have had a good life.”
Her face fell at Nathan’s name, suddenly remembering.
“Rogue?”
“Dear God, Nathan,” she whispered. She looked up at him fearfully. “What have I done?”
“Rogue, please it’s okay.” Scott shifted closer as he tried to clam her down.
“I knew this wasn’t going to be easy on Nathan from the start, and I know it wasn’t my most magnificent hour as a father but there was no other way. Granted he shouldn’t have had to of found out that way, but we couldn’t tell him anything until you remembered yourself. Besides I couldn’t do that to either you or Logan, it wouldn’t have been fair to either of you to have continued the façade with Nathan. With the truth maybe less people would be hurt. I couldn’t watch you throw away your life, and I knew that’s what you would be doing and I couldn’t do that knowing the life you and Logan had had, the life you’re still suppose to have.”
He took a deep breath. “I explained everything to Nathan and in a way I think he already understands, he’s hurt but he just needs time. He’s gone back into town for a bit, we all agreed it would be best if both Logan and he had space.”
“I ruined their relationship,” she muttered in disbelief.
“No,” Scott interjected quickly. “You know how Logan is, you know the man behind the persona and he never gave Nathan anything more then he let himself give. Nathan has always known he could depend on and trust Logan to save his life, to protect him, to stand up for him but never once did Logan ever hint that Nathan should trust him in any other ways. I’m not saying that’s an excuse, just that in time Nathan will learn to understand what has happened and he will learn to understand what role Logan has and always will play in his life.”
She nodded mutely still not feeling one hundred percent sure. Scott stood and leaned his hand against her shoulder.
“You should rest,” he spoke quietly.
She focused on him. “You should too,” she noted. “How long have you been watching over me?”
He shrugged.
“You can be just as stubborn as Logan, you know that.”
“It’s gotten me this far,” he smirked.
Before he could turn to go she grabbed his hand and leaned up as she quickly brushed her lips against his cheek. “You’ve always been a great friend.”
He squeezed her hand as he smiled at her and retreated from the room.
Sighing, she flopped back down on the bed and realized sleeping was the last thing on her mind, she had been asleep in a frozen like state for over a decade and for the past couple of months she had been in a walking sleep. Sleep was defiantly the last thing on her mind.