A/N: This is a very dark chapter full of lots of angst. You have been warned.

There is no worse death than the end of hope. ~ Pelagius


Rogue woke up strapped down on a metal table, it was like her nightmares shortly after she had absorbed Logan except so much worse. Whatever drugs they had given her were causing her to slip in and out of consciousness, one minute everything was dark and the next it was like she was looking at herself as some “doctor” was poking at her skin. Half her body was on fire and other was cold, numb and slightly blue whatever they were doing, it felt like she was in hell. And the physical pain was nothing compared to the mental damage they were inflicting on her.

As the days went by every time was worse and the procedures more invasive. As bad as they were, they didn’t compare to the times when doctor Claw was there. The other doctors never spoke to her and never looked at her, just did the procedure and left her in her own sweat, blood, and vomit.

Dr. Cameron Fitzgerald, or Dr. Claw as Rogue had dubbed him, was a tall thin blue eyed doctor with a right robotic hand. Dr. Cameron was a brilliant heart surgeon. About 10 years ago he had been in an accident involving a mutant woman. There had been a traffic accident and he had volunteered to be a field Dr. He had tried to wedge himself between two cars to get to the victim who was trapped. She was hysterical and was desperately trying to get free, the movements shook the car and the next thing he knew his hand was stuck. The end result had been amputation and being fitted with the latest in robotics. Still in was the end of his carer. Turing to Genetic Analysis, and his vengeance to rid the world of Mutants is what carried him on. Taking particular interest in Rogue’s mutation he had become obsessed with her and wanted to humiliate her in every possible way. He had very special plans for this mutant and relished their alone time. The doctor was a sadist. Oddly enough he never realized his need to punish Rogue came from her being very similar in appearance to that mutant from his accident. The one who had started it all.

When Claw was in charge of Rogue she would shiver inside. She discovered from the first procedure that he got off on her pain giving her enough sedative to keep her from moving around but to ensure that she felt every prick, scrap, and cut, among other things. He would take his robotic arm and touch Rogue in intimately. She would shiver from his metallic hand as it cupped her mound and brutally pawed at her breast. Claw laughed at her calling her a filthy mutant whore. Inside Marie wanted to cry, but Rogue and Magneto wouldn’t let her. They wouldn’t give the doctor the satisfaction of crying out in pain. Instead she would bite on her own tongue until she tasted blood.

Back in her cell after Claw would finish his torturous procedures, Rogue would let the tears fall. She wasn’t sure how much time had gone by but it felt like an eternity. Rogue also knew that the drugs they were giving her were messing with her memory, there were things that she knew but the actual memory wasn’t there. She couldn’t remember anything at all about her childhood. She could only remember the last year with her parents before her mutation developed. Every day was worse than the one before. she struggled with trying to retain her memories. As much as Logan had hurt her they had shared so many good times, beautiful memories that filled her with hope in that dreaded cell where she found herself. Still there were huge holes in her recent memory she couldn’t remember how she meet the professor or Jubilee, she knew there faces but couldn’t place any actual memories with them. Even the more recent memories with Victor she cherished and tried desperately to cling to them.

Then when she though about Victor she would cry harder as her body shook with sobs. The last time she had seen him was a few days after they had been captured. They were both strapped down, side by side. The drugs in her system blurred everything and it was so hard just to keep her eyes open when she turned to her side she gasped at the sight that met her eyes. At first she didn’t realize it was him. He was completely hairless, and his skin was red, pink and blotchy. If he hadn’t opened his eyes and looked right at her she could have mistaken him for someone else. The doctors were about to conduct another experiment, when she realized what they were going to do she panicked and tried to free herself, but the cold metal shackles wouldn’t even budge. She tried desperately to control her skin but what ever they injected her with was messing with her head and she couldn’t grasp the control in her mind that was needed. The next thing she felt was Victor’s mind rushing into hers, and then she was screaming, until her voice was horse and passed out.

That had been, God she didn’t’t even how long ago that was. She wasn’t even sure if he was alive. The transfer hadn’t been that long, but as his memories showed her later, his healing factor was maxed to the limit, it was barely keeping him alive. First they had used him as target practice and when they saw that he was rapidly healing they decided to see if he could recover from being burned alive. At first, it felt like the memories were happening to her, like her body was being consumed by flames. She was so doped up she couldn’t compartmentalize Victors memories from her own and even Logan’s memories were all meshing together to create a gruesome nightmare in her mind.

Victor’s healing factor was kicking in, and the haze of the drugs begin to lift. Finally able to start building the psychic walls in her head to properly contain those that were in her head and restore some semblance of order to the chaos that was her mind.

Once Rogue could think semi clearly again the tears came again only this time for her baby. Putting her hands on her belly she couldn’t help the sobs that escaped. She would have given anything to be rescued right now. Even if it meant being back at the mansion and watching Logan fuck the daylights out of Jean everyday for the rest of her life. The only thing that mattered was her baby. Was anyone even looking for her, probably not, she hadn’t even made it a point to check with anyone at the mansion, and the only one that had come looking for her was Victor, and he was no better off than her perhaps even dead by her very own skin.

Victor, my god the sobs came even harder. She had heard Dr. Claw and how they were looking for her and lucked out by having Sabertooth there as well. It was all her fault. His memories of them together came to the front of her mind, and the psychic that was him tried to comfort her in his own way. That made her feel all the more guilty. He tried growling at her and pushing her not to give in, that he would find a way to get her out of there. Even Logan told her to hold on and not give up, trying to assure her that he was looking for her.

Even if by some chance Logan was looking for her, she didn’t think she could hold out very much longer. The experiments were getting more and more painful. Completely exhausted she let the darkness take her mind and hoped that they wouldn’t come for her, at least not for today.


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