He’d woke with hunger gnawing at his insides, his hand spread out across the bed searching for her warmth. Snapping awake fully when he didn’t find her next to him, her scent was still on the air and he smelled the vapours of soap in the room. Growling softly he pulled himself round to the edge of the bed, feet standing on ruined silk. The touch of it rekindling the memory of the night before and the emotions that they’d both released into each other. Stretching out the kinks of sleep he wandered to the bathroom expecting her to be there, disappointed when he found it empty. Concerned he looked around for her dress; it was missing, as were her shoes.
The bottom of his stomach fell away from him, leaving him naked, stranded and angry with himself. Cursing under his breath he grabbed his old jeans and struggled into them, he was halfway to the door when it opened. There she was, washed, happy and dressed in his old joggers. Trying to balance a tray loaded with food and a coffee pot, seeing her eyes light up as she saw him stood there. He could see her amusement in their sparkle, felt a heat rise from his body and creep across his face. She put him out of his misery. “Hungry? I was starving so I went to make breakfast, hope you like eggs the way I make em.” She managed the door and was walking across the floor to the bed; he couldn’t help but watch her hips sway. Diverting the blood in his skin somewhere else.
“I just woke up and I couldn’t find you,” he left the sentence open, sending his thought to her. He’d worried that he’d hurt her, done something wrong, something she’d regretted the next morning. Putting the warm tray on the bed she turned back to him and slid her gloved hands around his middle.
“You're not getting rid of me that easily.” Her eyes showed her depth of feeling for him and it scared him a little. She loved him, with everything she had. The smell of breakfast taunting him he quickly kissed her mouth, bringing her close to him to feel her effect on him, making her smile.
“Next time, wake me first ok?” She felt him stiffen against her as he pulled her into him and she smiled.
“Ok, I’ll think of something to wake you when you’re snoring like a buzz saw.”
“I snore!” Her face split in laughter as he tried to deny the accusation.
“Yeah you snore, worse than Kitty.” She let go of him and seated herself on the bed, pouring out coffee into two mugs. Taking one from her he sat down on the floor, her legs either side of his shoulders.
“How did she take the dress?” He could hear her intake of breath as she drank the hot brew.
“Lets just say she wasn’t too worried about it, just that she wants the full details later.”
He almost choked on the mouthful of coffee he had. Turning to look at her his face was full of shock and he saw the laughter written all over her face. “Did you think we weren’t noticed when we left? When the guest of honour leaves her own party, people notice. Don’t worry I haven’t said anything but I think my smile did that for me. Ororo asked if I had fun last night.”
This time coffee sprayed out across the room. Coughing he knelt up and faced a red faced and laughing Marie.
“WHAT!”
It took her a few moments to calm down enough to speak.
“Logan, we were heard by half of this floor. We can’t deny it. Even Peiter blushed when he passed me in the hallway. You didn’t seem to care last night how much racket we made.”
He shot her a look that spoke volumes. “Yeah but that was last night, we’ve got to look people in the eye today.” Her eyes lost some of their humour and her face hardened as the words reached her.
“Do you think it was easy for me? To ask for help with something so sensitive? To go to the Professor and ask him to control my powers for me? To allow him inside my mind and ride in there?” He watched as tears formed in her green eyes, clouding them over. “To know exactly what I was doing and why? Don’t you think that was hard for *me*? Knowing that people will know what happened last night and still be okay with it all? Knowing that I can’t even have last night between us *alone*, that I had to ask or I wouldn’t have had it at all?” Her gloved hands gripped the mug tightly, almost crushing it under her knuckles.
He’d hurt her again. Without even thinking about everything she’d done, all the planning, all the talking about last night, all the preparation of herself, the lessons in control and finally giving the control over to someone else. Someone she’d had to trust with his life as well as her own. Putting the mug down he slid his hand in her hair and found her gaze. “I’m sorry Marie. All I ever seem to do is hurt you.” Catching his intention in his words he saw the anger flare in her.
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare give up on us. I didn’t go through all this for just one night. If sex had been my only purpose do you think for one second I wouldn’t have asked him to help me with Bobby?” The words stung as they passed from her mouth and into him, tearing open a wound he didn’t even knew existed.
Bobby.
Seeing the effect of her words she spoke. “If all I’d wanted was one night Logan I would have done this before now. But I didn’t want just one night. I want you, only you.” The tear tracks glistened as she smiled, her eyes searching his face for a sign she’d healed the wound she’d caused with her words. “I don’t want anyone else. If that meant not having anyone for the rest of my life, I’d have done it.” He felt the truth in her words, knowing in his soul that she would have been alone forever, untouched and unloved. She wanted him, only him. With everything that he was, everything he had been and all that he would be.
Pulling her into his arms he held her, stroking her hair and breathing her into him. Allowing himself to feel, smiling as the warmth spread out from his centre and through his skin, feeling her relax as she caught the emotion and relaxed into it. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his chest against hers, her head leant against his, feeling her tears fall into his hair. Smiling as he heard her whisper ‘I love you’, almost crushing her in response and not feeling the tears run down his face and burn into her skin as he cried.
He felt complete, healed, whole. He knew how deep the ties he’d made went, that they were each other’s and nothing would ever change that. Recalling a memory of the autumn camp in the woods, watching a pair of wolves. Showing the kids the truth behind the myths, that they mated for life, kept each other strong, supported each other against all challenges. Survived as a pair, not alone. He knew the emotions he’d been privileged to see in their eyes, he’d found his mate and no matter who or what he’d be supported and loved.
Releasing her from his embrace he sought her face, looking for confirmation of his feelings in there. Her eyes soft and welcome, almost motherly as she scanned his face, trying to ease his pain at being left alone that had marked itself there. Feeling the warmth as she smiled and pecked him quickly on the lips and moved to the tray’s contents. Love was good but it didn’t fill bellies and they both needed refuelling after last night.
*******************************************************
They’d just finished the tray when he heard footsteps stop outside the door, that narrowed the possibilities of who it could be. Looking at his watch the time read 9.30am, almost time for his day to start. Marie was piling plates together and getting the tray ready to take back to the kitchen. He could smell indecision coming from the other side of the door, confusion and a little bit of jealousy. He pushed up off the floor and opened the door in one smooth movement.
Bobby just stood there, the decision taken from him of whether he should open the door or not. Bobby’s eye caught sight of Marie and he caught the anger rising from his body. He could feel him steel himself and pull himself under control, raising his blood pressure and flushing his skin. He eventually managed to speak. “The Professor wants to see you in Cerebro. There’s something happening and he wants you down there.”
At the sound of Bobby’s voice Marie had turned toward the door and the look on her face was one of disgust, she walked straight for him balancing the laden tray. As he moved aside for her, he caught her emotions, rage and hatred poured from her and into Bobby. That he had to come and spoil her day, their day. He caught her shoulder as she passed and he sent a thought to her, her eyes burned into his and he felt her anger subside a little.
She smiled at Bobby and he moved out of the doorway letting her past. His eyes never leaving her as she walked down the corridor, only snapping back to him when he’d shut the door. “Let’s go see what he wants shall we?” He put his hand over Bobby’s shoulder leaving his knuckles pointing toward Bobby’s face, a reminder of who was really in charge. He caught the intent and stiffened up, his back almost ramrod straight. Laughing inside he unclenched his hand and patted him on the back and walked down the corridor, still smelling Bobby’s uncertainty in his nostrils.
He turned and Bobby was still stood there, as if he was rooted to the spot, eyes downcast and half-turned toward the door. He’d wanted to be in there, instead of him. To have touched her, loved her, bonding with her until there was no separation of self and the one you loved. He felt a twinge of guilt as he understood how much she’d meant to Bobby, he’d taken her away from him and underneath he’d known that he’d only been a stopgap anyway. He’d never be what she’d really wanted.
Him.
Feeling his hurt he called out to him. “You coming or am I waiting for you all day?” He caught Bobbie’s eye and the small tears at the corners of them. Heard him mumble and walk down the corridor toward him, they needed to talk but it would have to wait. There were other matters first.
****************************************************
The Professor was sat just outside the door of Cerebro, his face full of shadows and his curiosity stepped up a notch. Hearing their combined footsteps he looked up into their faces. At that moment he knew something was wrong, something had changed. “Ah Logan, if you’d please come with me into the control room.” He swung his chair down the right hand corridor toward the room with the large 3d table in it. Sending a quizzical look to Bobby he was met by one just as confused as his had been. There was no sign of Scott, Ororo or Kurt, just them. The door opened by itself revealing the interior, there were already maps forming on the silvery surface of the table.
The Professor wheeled himself around the other side, his eyes dark and brooding, taking in every detail of the image in front of him. The way the Professor looked at it he felt something had gone terribly wrong, clearing his throat he asked the question that had hung in the air since they’d arrived.
“What’s happened?” The Professor didn’t speak for what seemed like an age, looking older than he’d ever seen when he eventually answered him.
“Scott is missing, I want you and Bobby to go in the jet to find him.” He pointed to the 3d map on the table. “He went to aid a mutant last night after the party, a Doctor Hank McCoy.” Bobby’s face lit up when he heard the name and he shot a look at both of them.
“Yes Bobby, we know you know him. He used to teach you high school science didn’t he? Your small relationship with him may be of assistance to us and I want you to accompany Logan. His mutation has shown itself fully and he was in need of assistance, so I sent Scott.” He pointed to the table.
“This is the facility that Dr McCoy was working in. A small genetics company, working to map the genetics of new mutants and to stabilise the mutant gene that can cause problems in a few unlucky children. We had a child here with the same problem about a year ago. He was able to control water, its flow and actual structure. Unfortunately he could also control the use of molecules, resulting in a total breakdown of his body. There was nothing we could do for him, he died.”
The pain was still evident in his eyes as he spoke, he had felt the death, the total dissolution of a mind and body still too young to understand what was happening to it. “We need him to continue his work but there are those who don’t want him to succeed.” His eyes caught his and he felt the thought open in his mind, Stryker. He understood why he wanted him to go, there could be more answers for him as well as helping the Professor. Scanning the map on the table he found at least five different points of entry that could be easily done without drawing attention.
“Right when do we go?” He looked at the Professor, noticing how hard he was trying to keep himself under control, to keep his mind positive.
“As soon as your dressed.” Looking down at himself he realised he’d come down only in his trousers. Smiling he pushed himself off the table’s edge and stood upright.
“First I want to say thanks. You know what for.” His eyes quickly flicked to Bobby, his attention was fully occupied by the map on the table. “I’ll bring them back safe and sound if I can.” A small weak smile played over Xavier’s waxen face, he really was worried.
“No thanks necessary Logan, just bring them home. Find out what’s happened and try to do it quietly, if you can.”
Feeling Bobby stiffen up as he realised that he’d be flying the jet Logan turned to him, watching the colour drain from his face. Smiling he slapped him on the back, making him wince with the force.
“Come on Bobby, let’s get you dressed. Rescuing folks isn’t a job for casual clothes.” He walked away from the table and the Professor, smelling the uncertainty radiate from the young man. He turned to look at him at the door, “Are you going to make this waiting for you a habit? If you are I might not bring you back next time.” He saw the panicked look pass from Bobby to the Professor and the Professor nodded to him to go with him.
******************************************************
As Bobby passed him in the doorway he looked back to the Professor, “I’ll bring him home Xavier, alive.” He could see the half-formed tears glisten as he sat searching the 3d picture for clues, any ideas of what had happened to Scott. As they lifted to meet his Xavier opened his mind to him and he felt the pain of loss flow through him, opening the animal’s rage inside. “Just in case Logan, do what you have to but bring them home. Alive if you can.” Feeling the animal raging just under the surface he nodded and clenched his fists, feeling the blades slide down his forearm and split through his skin. Raising them so that they caught the light from the hallway, turning them back he released them and they slid away back into him. Meeting Xavier’s gaze he understood his orders and the animal howled inside, maybe today was going to be even better than yesterday.
When he caught up with Bobby the smile he showed him sent fear running through the young man, making the small room rank with it. Patting him on the back. “Looks like we’re a team Bobby, at least for today. Let’s act like one.” Eyes boring into Bobby’s looking for a glimmer of defiance and finding nothing but fear and trepidation there. Realising that this was his first real mission, his first test, first hunt. Smiling warmly he went to put on his own suit. “Don’t worry about it Bobby, you’ll do fine. Just do what I tell you, when I tell you and we’ll get through this with all our skin intact. Remember girls like the good guys.” His eyes found Bobby’s and a blush spread out from his face as he fastened up the front of the borrowed suit. “And today we’re the good guys.”
Bobby watched him suit up, paying attention to the details of the fastenings, the way he stretched each seam, loosening the leather there. Seeing him, he copied and found it difficult to get back up from the crouch he’d put himself in. Holding out his ungloved hand to Bobby the young man grasped it firmly and pulled himself upright. He could feel the embarrassment flowing from him, making him smile. “Don’t worry about it, it took me a couple of weeks to break mine in. Leather protects you but it isn’t easy to move in if your not used to it.” Bobby was quiet, almost calm but he knew he was running on adrenaline and they hadn’t even left the school yet. By the time they got to the facility he’d be a nervous wreck. Time to take his mind off what’s going on and he knew just how to do that.
He waited till they were almost aboard the jet when he spoke, “So tell me about you and Rogue, did you ever fuck her?” Bobby stopped short of the cockpit and turned to face him, he could feel the jealousy burning inside him, barely controlled. He went a shade of red and forced himself to sit in the pilot’s seat and concentrated on the controls. Ignoring him and his words, he decided to push it.
“She really wasn’t very nice about you. You see she really didn’t like being used as a charity case, she knew you felt sorry for her. That you were only with her to make yourself feel better, to give her a friend, or was it a sympathy fuck you were after?”
That did it.
Bobby threw himself into him, landing a good blow on his cheekbone that must have hurt like hell. But he kept punching and it was all he could do not to laugh at him, the blows were young, weak and inexperienced. Xavier had been right to ask him to teach the students, if this was Bobby's best effort’s they needed it.
Grabbing his fists he held them tightly and pushed himself out of the co-pilot’s seat. Walking Bobby backward into the large fuselage, giving them more room. He didn’t want to damage the delicate systems at the front of the jet. Bobby was fuming, his eyes blurred with anger, skin flushed and red, breathing quick and shallow, showing his teeth with each breath he took. He was trying not to explode, not to release his power, not to freeze him until he became a walking ice cube. He met his gaze and he could feel the anger burning in there, the hatred that she’d picked him, that when they were together she’d wondered where he’d been, what he’d been doing, who he’d been with. He released his wrists and Bobby pushed away from him, unsure what to do or how to react. His emotions ran riot across his face one moment upset the next angry.
“So what do you want to do? Fight? Because if that’s what you want to do we’d better get started we have people relying on us and we have to work together to pull this off.” Bobby bit his bottom lip and he could see the steam coming from the leather of his gloves as the frost formed on the supple leather. “What’s it going to be?” He flexed his hands, readying the blades there, just in case. This could go either way.
He almost missed it when he spoke it was so quiet. “Why you?” He sounded like a child, a spoiled petulant child.
“Because she wanted me, no other reason. I didn’t take her from you, she chose. I don’t chase. She caught me when I wasn’t even looking.” His eyes met his and he could see the spite, hard and cruel in their blue depths. Revealing a side of him that he doubted anyone had ever seen at the school.
“What about Damask? Finished with her now? Moved onto fresher pastures?” The comment hit him like a physical blow. Angry he stepped forward and slapped Bobby, hard. The blow snapped his head backwards, widening his eyes as he felt the sting of the leather across his skin. Bobby looked into his eyes and saw the animal rise to the surface, making Logan snarl out each word.
“You weren’t there, you don’t have the right to judge me or her! I saved your ass last year now I’m starting to regret it. Why don’t you ask her what she thinks?! What *she* feels about it because I have and I *know*. I’m a man about these things bub, I don’t eat ice cream when I get confused, go and sort it out. You want to know about me and Rogue? You go ask her why she picked me, maybe because I didn’t treat her as a damn charity case. A poor little lonely girl with no-one who needed someone to be with just in case someone asked who her friends were!”
Bobby felt the bruise forming on his cheek and the anger left his frame, leaving him drained and washed-out. Looking like a marionette with all it’s strings cut, just dangling in nothing. “We’re needed and you stand there as if it doesn’t matter. That this moment is the end of your world, well I’m sorry to break it to you bub but you’re not the centre of it. Xavier has put his trust in both of us to get Cyc back and that’s what I’m trying to do.”
He looked at Bobby with fresh eyes and saw him pull himself back together, brushing the ice from his hands that had formed there. “You ready to go now?” Bobby nodded and pushed past him and sat in the pilot’s seat. “If you want to continue this later we will but at the moment I need you to focus on what were doing and why. Personal don’t count, that’s when we’re back home and everyone’s safe.” Logan's eyes burnt into Bobby’s cold blue and he could see the ice form in them, freezing his emotions.
“Yeah we’ll finish it later.” Starting the engines he thought the sound would cover the rest of his sentence “That is if we come back at all.” He looked at Bobby and he knew he’d heard him.
Moving his gaze away from his he concentrated on piloting the jet out of the hanger and into the blue morning. Leaving behind everything they both cared about and loved, it was just in the same body. The body that was watching the jet as it cleared the forest behind the school. Holding onto a ruined silk shirt and wondering if they’d both come back intact.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
The morning after the night before and there are consequences to actions, Scott goes missing and Logan has to go get him back.