'Nature...
We think we understand it,
That heat that runs through us.
We don't understand anything,
Not until we kill.'
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The roses were the start of it she was sure, the perfect beauty of their forms against her window, the climbing rose was outside her room. It filled her entire room with the scent of heady blooms every afternoon. The sun swung round to warm the petals and realease the fragrance into the space she lived in.
The deep deep red would transfix her eye as the scent filled every crevice inside her room, she'd even taken to keeping her wardrobe doors open so the scent would infiltrate her vast collection of clothes. Even though she'd taken the stupid cure didn't mean she got rid of her wardrobe. It was a style thing, so when she'd finally got enough courage up to get out there into the world of men it had all gone wrong. First the roses, then the dress, then her skin.
She giggled to herself as she hung from the frame in the medbay, if only she'd had the voices still when it had happened. She might have saved him from all the pain but then what can you expect from an animal?
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"Hey Rogue, are you coming to 'practice'?" She moved in her one piece body suit toward the voice that called through her door. Swinging it wide she caught Jubilee stretching out on her doorframe, 'practice' was a danger room session but they used the codewords that had been in place before they'd even been at the school.
"Sure just let me get my bottle," her accent had faded somewhat over the three years she'd been here but it had added a tone of sophistication she liked. To her ears she'd sounded like a hick for the first year here. She still had a soft lilt to her words, like velvet but the grating hardness of her momma's voice had gone from her own.
They moved downstairs to the danger room where Storm was about to put them through their paces again, they were already a team but they needed to be challenged every day, hence 'practice'. But when they got there something was different or should that have been 'someone'.
Two hours later both of them were resting in the sunshine, comparing bruise patterns when a shadow dropped over them. Their new visitor had come to see them and Jubilee was trying her hardest to get him to notice her. Thing was he was interested in fare closer from his own home, "You did well in practice today chere, Remy hopes you'll be better tomorrow when he takes the class." He gave a little wave to them both and saunted away, locking eyes to Marie's own and she felt the heat of her blush start up and cover her skin before the tall muscular man turned away from her view. Jubilee broke the silence that had hung around them since his chocolate voice had covered the air between them.
"Good God Damn! He makes everything sound like he's undressing you! I bet he could say 'Pass the salt' and you'd be on the floor legs open!"
"JUBES!"
"Well he could! I mean you saw the way he moved in there, graceful isn't the word, 'cat-like' maybe." Her eyes narrowed as she wondered out loud, "Think he's as lithe everywhere?" Marie slapped her arm and they both erupted into giggles of laughter in the sunshine. Everything seemed to be going great, that was until the ball.
Three months of practice and they were finally 'match-fit' as Storm put it, Remy had been asked to help out because of his flexibility and speed. Now most of the teams knew some moves that would help get them out of trouble as fast as it got them into it. To reward everyone for their work Storm had organised a Summer Ball, exams were nearly over, things were settled and the world seemed as if it was finally getting the message about mutation.
Then she blew everything apart and it all started with a dress.
"Where's my dress gone Kitty?" They were all getting ready in the large suite reserved for 'Uber-Guests' as Jube's put it. It had a bathroom and lounge to the large room, but the bonus was it had three full length mirrors side by side. So you could see all of you while you stood inside the little mirrored bay.
Marie'd just come out of the shower when she noticed her dress was missing, she'd laid it on the end of the bed, the gossamer threaded thing looked like it was made of smoke and was coloured the same. It was the most risky thing she'd ever bought but it wasn't as if she'd be naked underneath it. She had a wonderful bodice to go with it, fitted and seamless to go underneath and as she looked for her dress her eye caught the end of her bodice under the edge of the bed.
Huffing she went over and snatched the bodice up from the wooden floor where it had been laying, pooled in her thin dress. As she pulled the fabric made a sound that filled the air, tearing, ripping. The scream was out before she even noticed and Jubes and Kitty were close enough to see the damage and pain on her face as it tore.
Looking under the bed where it had caught was a nail head, a tiny nail head but the fabric was so sheer, so lightweight that it had instantly caught on it. Now all she had was a ripped dust rag and a bodice that wouldn't be worth wearing without the rest of the dress.
Fury...it filled every single fibre of her, she didn't scream again, she didn't shout all she did do was look at the two of them and wrap her hand in the remains of her dress.
The dress she was supposed to have worn, to show the world that she was beautiful, now her skin had been neutered didn't mean she'd been as well. Wrapping the fabric tight on her hand she fisted it and smashed the middle mirror where Kitty was getting ready. Gritting her teeth as the shards fell onto the floor around Kitty's bare feet. One or two landing in her skin and making her squeak in fright, when the last piece had tinkled to the floor Marie just turned and walked out.
As she walked to her room she was shaking, her mind had filled with such images of violence, such images of death. She'd wanted to push Kitty through the mirror, smash her against it and cut her throat on the silvered shards. All over a dress.
When she reached home she threw her lock home, if anyone came calling she really didn't feel like talking, she didn't feel upto facing anyone right now.
It was nearly twelve when someone came knocking, she'd expected Jubes or Storm but it wasn't it was Remy.
"Chere? You in there?"
She moved slowly to her door, expecting a frowning face and a reprimand coming but instead what she got was something she'd been wondering about for a month.
When she opened her door, Remy just plucked her up and planted a kiss on her, not a chaste kiss, not something she'd experienced before with Bobby. But a real woman to man kiss and as angry as she had been it faded out as Remy pushed his way into her room.
She'd dreamed this, wanted this, needed this and in her frustrated dreams before she'd taken the cure the faces had changed but the end result had been the same. Her naked to the world with a weight of another human between her thighs. So when the opportunity presented itself she took it, she'd been alone too long and the guys here still thought she was poisonous even though she'd been able to touch for nearly six months now.
She heard the lock click as Remy pulled her up his lithe muscular frame, whispering her name and words she didn't understand into her ears. His lips chasing a dance over her skin, she was dressed in her bed robe, a simple thing, small and barely covered her. His hands were already under the silky surface and it lit something deep inside her belly. She wanted this, she didn't want to be the twenty year old virgin she knew she was. So when Remy put her against the wall pressing himself against her sex, the hardness of his arousal easy for her to identify. She didn't question why or if it was her that had caused this in him, had caused this desire that was flowing over her body. All she cared about was that it *was* happening.
She let go, surrendered to every movement, to every demand of his hands and body, the sensations were price enough but they all faded to nothing when he finally entered her. The only thing that spoiled it for her was the name that flew into her head as Remy stretched and filled her aching body.
'Logan.'
The childish dream she'd harboured for so long, hidden deep within her as she'd found her virgin bed empty night after night. Her hands had given her the pleasure she'd sought but the image had been the same for nearly three years until she'd taken the cure.
Logan.
His hands on her, his body arcing over hers, the darkness in his gaze all for her, the hunger he'd felt for Jean turned to her. And inside her mind as Remy nailed her to the wall it was Logan's face, and Logan's body that was doing this to her. The voice she heard was harsher, deeper, the weight against she wished was heavier, stockier, hairier.
When she'd chosen to take the cure she'd put Logan behind her, he was a dream, a thing that she'd no longer cling to. She was 'touchable' and if Logan didn't want that from her she'd find someone who would. Thing was it had taken a stranger to want to and now she had it she was going to keep it.
Concentrating on the man in her arms Marie pushed the dream away concentrating on the feeling of Remy as he pushed her nearer and nearer to her goal. The play of his muscle as he ground himself into her, all power and sensation, licking her skin and whispering how much he loved her. How he'd been waiting for tonight to have her, to tell her about his love. Finaly as he exploded inside her, she finally remembered he hadn't used a condom, she hadn't even thought of it, so lost in the sensation and feeling of someones hands on her skin. He kept grinding at her though, kept moving until she too came around him. His fingers helping her to reach her peak but when she reached it she bit her lips tight together just in case habit re-asserted itself and she called out the wrong name.
They stayed linked for a while, his touch on her skin, his dark eyed gaze roving over her, the sweetness in his face as he kissed her over and over. Finally when it began to hurt he moved out of her and carried her to her bed. Laying her flat she listened as he told her he had to go back to his own room, others would not be so happy with him if they found out right now. He kissed her again, this time the back of her hand and tucked himself away before creeping out of her room. Marie laid there for a while, listening to the tick of her clock. The thought of her risky behaviour finally making her move.
Downstairs in the medbay was a douche solution, she'd use that and take a precautionary pill, Storm made sure every girl knew where they were and to log it in the book if they used it. Pulling on her dressing gown she decided it was the best thing to do, even with a huge grin on her face as she thought about the entrance of her own name in the book would do to the staff down there.
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"Where were you Remy?"
The voice was harsh, tempered and upset, Marie walked over to the kitchen door where the light spilled out into the corridor. It was Storm's voice and she didn't sound happy.
"You said you'd be a moment Remy, half an hour *isn't* a moment." The clatter of pottery told Marie that she was making tea, and if Storm was making tea she needed to calm down.
Creeping closer to the edge of the door Marie listened to the deep velvet chocolate voice of Remy as it wound around the room.
"Chere, Remy he just need to go get something out of his system yes? He walk round the garden for a while, go clear his head, what you ask him make him think long and hard. Remy he not used to bein' asked such things, it a shock to him." The rustle of fabric and the stirring of a spoon filled the air.
"Remy....you know how I feel about you....what we shared in New Orleans. When I asked you here it was partly because I wanted us to carry on the relationship we built there."
Cold.
Thats how she remembered it, a cold numbness that floated through her body, quickly becoming a sickness that made her shake and her skin sweat. Holding herself she ran to the stairs that led to the medbay, the sound of her footsteps loud in the hallway and making someone come out to look at who it was. The shout she heard was Storm asking Remy who it had been, Remy's answer had been like a knife in her already shattered psyche.
"It's no-one Chere, nothing that matters."
Marie flushed herself out nearly six times in the shower, her tears burning as she pushed the douche tube inside her still aching body. Flushing herself out, turning her ache into a pain that became hard and brittle like obsidian glass. She'd never do this again, never allow someone to love her like that, she'd been an idiot, how could she think anyone would ever love her? She was poison, always had been, always would be, skin or no skin.
She wrote in the book, tidied up for herself, cleaned her skin and scrubbed it till it tingled. Only when she was nearly red raw did she find her reflection safe enough to look at. Inside her though the hatred had taken root, the anger found food to flourish and grow and deep inside her cells the will to kill had been woken up.
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The next few weeks were easy, she kept her false smile up as Remy passed them all by but she didn't respond to his flirting or to his attempts to corner her alone. She always ran to her friends who didn't understand her reluctance to be alone with him. It was Jubes who finally closed in on her to find out why.
"What's up Chica? You've been a bit 'off' with Southern Comfort there." It was her nickname for Remy, soft smooth and has a hell of a kick if your not prepared for it.
"Nothing Jubes, just leave it."
That was the red rag to the bull, that was the trigger for Jubes and it was the trigger for Marie as well.
"No, you've been an absolute bitch of late, what's goin' on with you? Is it because of the dress?" Marie raised her tired face, seeing her friends concern in her dark eyes.
"No, it's not. Just leave it Jubes *please*."
"Rogue you have to tell someone, has Logan got back in touch with you? Is that it? Has the Wolvester upset you again?"
Logan would send postcards when he remembered, sometimes they upset her reminding her that he left without her.
"NO JUBES!" Marie made to get away when Jubes grabbed her arm, keeping her still.
"Uh-huh, not *this* time honey! You're gonna spill what's on your mind and turning you into bitch almighty!" Jubes kept herself over Marie, keeping her pinned down, making it impossible for her to move and frustrated,angry and annoyed Marie finally let the pain out of her mouth, spilling the vile truth over them both.
"You want to know why I don't want that snake anywhere near me? He fucked me Jubes, came to my room, told me he loved me to fuck the virgin and like an idiot I believed him! I got fucked by Storm's intended on the night he was supposed to be with her after she asked him to marry her!"
Jubes was in shock, her face had drained of colour and it was only when her screaming thoughts flooded her own mind that Marie realised what had happened. Her skin had turned on and she was draining her, she struggled, she fought to get her weight off her but it wasn't any use. Marie screamed out her rage and frustration but by the time someone came to help it was too late, Jubes was dead.
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Story Notes:
Marie gives something of herself she shouldn't and someone ends up paying the utlimate price.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Everything seems to be going *SO* well....