It was the second time in two days he'd paced in the observation room, Jean's angry buzz sending every muscle in his body as tight as a wire. He clenched his eyes shut, his hand a fist over his mouth. He knew what Jean wanted to do. He knew what Xavier could do. And it was killing him watching her go through the pain. He wanted to succumb, to let them play with her head with their little mind tricks.
But mind tricks often faded.
He heard the distinctive rev of Xavier's chair in the other room, and the door opened, Xavier rolling in slowly. His eyes weren't soft or caring. They were clear and full of purpose, as was the man's voice when he spoke.
"How is she?"
Logan knew that the words were meaningless. Xavier may as well have said, "Where do we stand?"
"She's fucked," Logan growled, staring at her through the mirror.
The Professor blinked slowly through the profanity and sighed long. Jean looked over to him.
"She's experiencing a lot of distress at the new brain patterns she's obtained through her victim. She's going through something similar to severe mental breakdown, Professor."
Logan puckered his mouth as he breathed in deeply, eyelids tight, "Jean said you could do something."
Xavier looked up to Logan.
"She said that you - that you could stop it."
The Professor shook his head, "I'm afraid not, Logan. Not permanently. She needs rest, and she needs to talk. I can't cure her of this - control of the different patterns in her mind is something that needs to be controlled by her, and not an external force."
Logan turned and stared at Jean darkly.
"Don't you dare say it, Logan."
Logan rolled his tongue around his mouth and stared back out the mirror, "I told ya so."
Jean gave a sigh and turned away from him. "This doesn't change her condition."
"Yeah well, the one thing I do know is that I'm not leaving her side till this is over."
"You'll have to," Xavier said, "I need to perform a deep mind probe."
Logan glared at him.
"I thought you said you couldn't help her."
"I can guide her," Xavier said, "But to fully recover, she must help herself."
Logan nodded slowly. "Someone's gotta, cause she's dyin' in there. Inside out."
Logan could hear the trundle of the Professor's chair as the man drew near. The voice that spoke to him was a breath, one of promise and hope.
"I will try Logan."
He stepped closer to her prone form. She was asleep, no doubt because of the lack of food. In this state his hands ran over her forehead, uncovered, unsheathed. Her eyes opened slowly, in horror. She shook her head, crawling back, but his hands gripped hers, his eyes clear and strong.
"No," she shook her head, the words quiet in this place, "No, no."
His voice cut through the silence. "You can't hurt me with your touch," he said, "Nor with your strength."
"But-"
Rogue heaved in a breath, her brows tilting up.
"Marie," he said, voice gravelled and even, "Tell me what is troubling you."
She huffed, tears rimming her eyes, "Ah'm scared!"
He came forward, sitting primly on the edge of the bed, old but strong hands reaching for her.
"Let me help you," he said, "Show me what frightens you."
Rogue nodded, seeming so small, her arms sliding around him, crushing her face into his shoulder.
She wasn't surprised when he stood, guiding her out of the observation ward. Somehow, she was safe, totally and completely safe.
They moved through the secret room that looked into the room she was staying in. Logan was crouched over, staring at her. She gasped.
She was in bed, curled over, and the Professor - he sat there in his chair. She whirled about to the Professor.
"Don't be scared, Rogue," he said, "I'm here to keep you safe."
She nodded - it was all she needed. She turned about and peered at Logan. "Can I?"
The Professor nodded.
She stepped to him, kneeling down in front of the chair he sat in that was at a small table in the observation room in which they stood in. Leaning forward, she let her lips sit at his, the sensation like the hot breeze of a Mississippi summer brushing her skin tenderly. Simple romantic fancy was not in the fire of the chaste kiss. It was something far deeper, more binding. She saw him close his eyes, a reverence in his face as he dropped his head down.
"Thank you..." she breathed.
"Come on," Xavier said gently, "Show me what's bothering you."
She turned, and closing her eyes, she took his hand.
They sank now, swirled, spinning to a place that wasn't outside of them, but inside of her. With a terrible crunch of her soul, she was there. Logan was dangling in the darkness, the cold, gloved hand crushing him. A growl grew in Rogue's throat, her legs ready to send her flying towards the woman.
"Wait Rogue-"
The Professor grabbed her hand, pulling her back with a surprising strength.
"NO!" Rogue cried, "She's gonna kill 'im!!"
"Logan is safe in the observation room. This is your mind, Rogue."
Rogue peered at the battling figures. She squinted. Behind them, somewhere, a hazy shape stood.
"David?"
The shape coalesced to a thin film of the image of her friend. She narrowed her eyes again.
"What're you-"
"I didn't know you were gonna turn out a mutie," he said, "So pretty but so - different."
She felt the catch of a sob in her throat, "Do you - do you hate me?"
"How can I hate you?" he said, lifting a hand and brushing it against her face, "You're Marie."
She shook her head, "David, I nearly killed ya."
He nodded, "I nearly died."
She looked to him in complete incomprehension.
"I lived."
A cry ripped through the nothing-place, and Rogue spun about. Logan and - Carol - they were clenched around each other, arms and legs tangled, bodies stuck in a death grip. She frowned.
"What are they doing?"
Xavier looked down at Rogue. "You tell me, Marie."
She glanced back at the figures. "They're - they're fightin' over me."
"Yes," nodded Xavier. "For dominance."
She clenched her fists, "But it's MY mind!"
Xavier took a long, proud breath in. "You tell them that."
After gazing at Xavier a long moment, she nodded, treading over to the battling figures. The blonde woman wriggled out of Logan's hold, and just as she was about to throw herself back into a tussle with him, she stopped, throwing her hair back. She grinned, a predatory gesture that, right now, didn't scare Rogue. Not yet anyway. Logan stepped forward, his hands out carefully.
"Marie, get out of here."
"No Logan," Marie said, meeting his frantic gaze, "This is my place. I belong here."
He stepped back a little, brows tilting up in helplessness. "I want to protect you."
She closed her eyes a moment and sighed, "I have to do that, Logan."
"Yes Logan," echoed Carol, "Can't be the hero today. Can't fuck around with your little girl's head."
Rogue glared at Carol, "You say too much."
Carol smirked, "Do I? Well what are you gonna do?" The cat-like woman prowled forward, gloved hands sliding down over Rogue's form. "Such a pretty body I'm in now. Such a pretty face I have." She squeezed Rogue's cheek and chuckled. It was a hollow cruel sound.
Rogue turned to Xavier, eyes brimming with hurt and hate. Xavier nodded to her, and Rogue met the crazy woman's eyes.
"You have no body, Carol. No mind."
Pressing her cheek to Rogue's, Carol cooed.
"Oh I disagree," she said, "My strength is now yours - my mind a part of yours.... Poor Logan over there is trying to stop me you know. On the inside after the outside. Thing is - I nearly killed him out there... and I can easily do the same in here."
Rogue turned and met her eyes with a glare. "Same way I nearly killed you?"
Carol shuddered, "Dumb luck."
"No," Rogue shook her head, "My luck."
Rogue felt Xavier beside her, strengthening her. His hands held hers, and he looked to her. "What do you want to do Rogue?"
Rogue's eyes fell to Carolyn's. "I want to kill her."
Xavier's calm look fell, "No Rogue-"
Rogue nodded, moving towards the woman.
"Rogue stop!"
Carol edged back, real fear in her light blue eyes. Everything swirled around Rogue as a body barreled into her from the side, and when she stopped tumbling, she looked up to meet a set of wild hazel eyes.
"Stop, Marie."
"Logan," she huffed, "Get off me!"
"I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself," he said.
"I'm not hurting me, I'm hurtin' HER!"
"Ya don't get it!" he growled, "She IS a part of you now."
She glared to the Professor, who gazed down at the tussle sadly. A sob filled the girl and she writhed underneath Logan.
"Tha's - " She gulped, "Tha's why Ah wanna die!"
Logan gripped her face, pulling her gaze to his like he always did, "Don't say shit like that!"
She shook her head, "I wanna die Logan, I jus' wanna stop hurtin'."
A strong hand gripped her upper arm, and turning her head she saw Xavier crouched down next to her, pulling her out from underneath Logan.
"Why, Marie?"
"What?"
His face was stern, unrelenting, "Why do you want to die?"
"She's a part a' me," said Rogue.
Xavier's face didn't move. "So?"
Rogue blinked, "So... you've seen her mind!"
"Yes, Rogue, I have," he nodded, "And I've seen the capabilities of far worse in even the sweetest of minds. Like all darkness Rogue, you must understand it."
"Ah can't!"
His eyes flickered with a steely firmness, "You MUST. And then you must take it in, accept it. Only then can you resist it Marie, only THEN can you be strong."
Rogue shook her head, tears streaming down her features, "Ah can't!! I don't know how!"
The unforgiving hardness in Xavier's eyes mellowed. "You musn't punish yourself for the crimes of another. You must know her, understand her, and put her to rest."
She knew what 'her' he was talking about. That 'her' sent chills of agony down her body. The girl rolled herself up and crouched on the floor, rocking back and forth, mumbling.
"I don't wanna," she breathed, "Ah can't - I can't take the pain anymore!"
Strong hands were on her shoulders, squeezing firmly.
"You can."
The next sob caught in her throat, and she looked up. Next to her stood Xavier, but in front of her, hands pressed to her shoulders, was an adamant looking Logan. She frowned, letting him pull her to her feet from the curled up ball she was in before. He met her eyes with a determined press of his lips.
"You're strong, Marie," he said, "Like me."
She swallowed, tilting her head, "I am?"
He nodded, "Yup. You can control it, like I control the animal inside of me."
Rogue turned, meeting the gaze of the Professor.
"He's right, Rogue," he said, "It's all in your grasp, the control of the jumble of thoughts in your head."
She nodded now, licking her lips, an eagerness in her eyes that had been dead for so long.
"Show me how."
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000