Chapter 3
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Damnant quod non intellegunt – (They condemn what they do not understand)
Jesus we must have been here 5 weeks, It seems a lot longer but I think it’s about 5 weeks. I tried so hard in the beginning to keep track of the time, It gets so hard though. There’s no light in this god forsaken place it’s always so dark. I have to try and distinguish between the different shades of black and grey so I could be wrong but I think it’s about 5 weeks.
There must be a reason why were still here, why they haven’t found us yet, I think it’s the drugs, I think it’s stops the professor being able to read us, maybe they’re not bothered about finding us, maybe it’s fate or god’s will, maybe we’re being punished, maybe I’m being punished, then again maybe it’s all some fucked up dream. I want to wake up now.
Times like these are the worst, I can handle my own pain, I can deal with it, or not as the case usually is lately, I just keep passing out more and more, retreating into my own mind trying to block it all out and that’s fine with me, sometimes I can escape it all but Logan’s pain is a different story, he doesn’t have the luxury I do, when it all gets too much for him his body and his mind keep coming back for more, no matter how many drugs they give him, healing is a blessing and a curse, most would probably laugh if they heard me say that, how can healing ever be a curse, they might try and appreciate that being as close to immortal as you can get might have its disadvantages as well as advantages but only in the respect of outliving every friend or lover etc. but I don’t think anyone else would consider it a curse well they’re not here and they don’t hear and see just how much of one it can be.
Time always seems to go so friggin’ slow when I watch him sleep, the endless seconds drag on and on, I remind myself that it’s been hours not days. Watching his pain is the hardest of all things. He’s suffered so much in his life, far too much for any one man and I wish I could take it from him, take it for him, let it be over for him.
I watch him as he begins to shiver in his sleep, it’s so damn cold and not a thing I can do. We have no bed, no mattress, no blankets. There’s just two blood soaked bodies, both twisted and broken. I do what I can which isn’t much and far from enough but I lay my body down by his side and wrap myself around him as best I can. I will what little heat I have his way. “I love you.” My voice is quiet even though I hope he hears me, the words are wrong somehow, it never feels enough, it’s not strong enough to convey what I’m really feeling but it’s all that language allows me so it will have to suffice for now.
I hope he understands.
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