The year full of tension between me and Logan seemed to have dragged on slowly. No words were exchanged unless needed to. Ever since the night of the potential kiss, things have went from bad to worse where our "more than just guardian and child" relationship was concerned. I mean, he wouldn't even look at me unless it was life or death! I know I'm not that ugly, so I won't burn his eyes out or anything like that you know.
Like I was saying, the year had been full of silence and motel-jumping. Yes, it was very boring. And yes, I had one hell of a time checking out Logan, but it wasn't that fun anymore because I had this aching feeling that he hated me since he changed so drastically. He just seems more angry and kind of dead at the same time. Here, let me give you an example while we were in a restaurant on our way to Baltimore.
Baby Logan had just spilled a cup of water on the floor. and Logan was beginning to fume.
" What the hell, Marie? I thought you were watching him! Why would you keep that tall and full glass of water so close to him and on the edge of the table!?" he began to yell, which was very strange because he rarely yelled in public but didn't hesitate when we were in our room. Baby Logan began crying his head off and the stir in the restaurant only got larger before the waiter that was cleaning up the spill insisted that it was alright and gave baby Logan a sticker. What a nice guy.
" .....whatever...." Logan had said as if he was extremely exhausted and looked down at his food like it wasn't even there. His eyes seemed so blank and empty that I almost believed that he was dead.
" Logan, are you alright?" I had asked, trying to mend the relationship that I had ruined back to it's normal state where we would have a casual conversation every now and then. He looked up at me with his face displaying a mixture of hatred and exhaustion that made me want to run into a hole.
" What the hell do you think, Marie?" he said lowly with a hint of sarcasm. A little grin tugged at the edge of his lips before he shook his head and dropped two 20 dollar bills on the table before walking out.
Yeah, extremely unlike him, right? That little show had given me a bad feeling all night. He acts like that every now and then which makes me think he's drunk or something. I prefer the mean and hard Logan in the beginning than the dead and angry Logan now. He seems like a grumpy old man now. Maybe his 50-year old age has caught up to him or something.
But at the moment, I could really care less because I stood in the front of my home. My Home. The home where I had spent my life in. The home where my many memories of me and my father had been cherished, and it hurt. Hell yeah, it hurt. But I had pushed it aside to make room for the happyness that I was finally home after that aching long and awkward year with Logan. It looked exactly the same except for the outgrown and wild lawn with a few weeds sticking out of the sides, but I could fix that easily.
" Hasn't changed one bit...." I said to myself lowly with a grin as I pushed open the front door. A warm feeling conquered my chest as I took in the familiar scene of my living room and kitchen. The only thing different was the stale air that seemed to linger around in my neglected house. I suddenly felt a large pressure hit my calve and I turned around to see baby Logan holding onto my leg. His hazel eyes roamed my house and he decided to just dig his face in my leg. " This is my home, Logan. It's okay."
" Wow, kid. Can you open some damn windows? It smells like old people." Logan mumbled before plopping on the sofa and running his large hand over his face. I nodded and did as he said while baby Logan ran around the living room observing the different items.
As I walked to the kitchen to open some windows there as well, I recalled when I had first met Logan that night. I smiled, remembering how I reacted when I seen his hair. I also remembered the pain I had went through that night and morning when he had rejected the fact that he was my guardian. I also remembered when I had my first dose of Logan's meanness when he snapped at me for offering what I could to make him more comfy.
" Logan, your going to stay here for a while, right?" I asked him as I stood on my tippy toes to try and open the high window over our sink.
" Yeah, kid. I guess." he said using that dreary voice of his again. Baby Logan slammed into my leg again which caused my hip to hit the counter hardly.
" Ow..." I hissed while closing my eyes to take in the pain. Baby Logan's giggling stopped and I looked down at him while rubbing my aching hip. " You have to be careful, Logan. You hurt me when you ran into me so you have to watch out, okay?"
Nodding, I could see a little smirk crawl onto his face as Logan walked in the kitchen, his face in the usual scowl.
" What is he smirking about?" he asked while standing next to me and examining his child's face in wonder as well. Even though baby Logan always smiled and giggled, this smirk seemed so different because he looked extremely serious.
" What wrong, honey?" I asked and watched as his mouth opened and closed uselessly in frusturation. I smiled and turned to Logan. " I think he's trying to say something."
" Finally." Logan hissed as we leaned closer down to his son. Baby Logan gave us a helpless look before running away from our looks. " So much for that." Logan said before we stood up straight again only to jump from his loud shriek. He ran back over to us with a smile.
" .....Muh-Wee...." he said and giggled in delight as he grasped his stomache with one hand and the other pointing to me. Logan and I exchanged glances before both of our faces broke into smiles.
" What'd you say, Logan?" I asked with a big smile that made him giggle even more.
" Muh-Wee!" he exclaimed even louder with both hands in the air. He had said my name! My name was his first word!
" Yes, I'm Marie! You got it!" I exclaimed, getting extrememly excited myself as I pulled him into my arms and giving him a big kiss on the cheek. I glanced over at Logan who was smiling and stroking his son's head. I wonder if he was mad that his son's first word was my name instead of his. I mean, what do you expect when you yell at your son all the time instead of nurturing for him? Anyways, if he was, then he was doing an Oscar Award winning job of hiding it as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed baby Logan's forehead.
He hadn't touched me in over half a year, but hey, who's been counting? Oh, well, so what if I was counting? I mean, Logan's mere touch or loving embrace like this made my knees almost falter. I wanted to turn to him and apologize for that night and kiss him again, making sure that I really kissed him instead of that brush-of-lips bullshit. Oh gosh, I'm going to make the time he spends with me good before he leaves me alone in this world.
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