“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him!” Logan’s roaring voice made her ears ring.
Along with the slight twinge of pain, Rogue felt what she suspected was a twinge of disappointment at the interruption. Keeping her grip on his wrists, Rogue dropped her gaze to Logan’s left shoulder, trying to give him time to get over his anger.
“And what the hell were you doin’ kissin’ him back?” The accusation was a malicious hiss.
“What?” Startled, and starting to feel angry herself, Rogue met Logan’s eyes. The anger was still there, but swimming at the edges was a trace of hurt. Rogue’s burgeoning temper was swept away and she rubbed her thumbs soothingly along Logan’s wrists. “Ah didn’t really think it through, Logan.”
His scowl deepened. “You sayin’ you couldn’t resist him then?”
Rogue returned his frown. “Not exactly. More like Ah liked the way it felt an’ Ah knew ya were there so Ah wasn’t afraid.”
Logan’s expression cleared a bit, but the frown remained. “Bastard still got to kiss you ‘fore I did.”
“What?” Rogue’s eyebrows drew together in confused thought. “Ah kissed ya the other night.”
Logan shook his head and brushed his thumbs along her cheekbones. “That doesn’t count, darlin’. You didn’t enjoy it.”
Again, Rogue blushed and mumbled a denial. Logan chuckled and shook his head again.
“Thanks for tryin’ to spare my ego, Marie, but I know you were too scared then to really be payin’ attention to what was goin’ on.”
The room fell silent while they stared at each other. As Rogue considered what Logan had said, a quiet voice in her head began whispering.
He’s right, you know. You don’t even remember what it felt like when you kissed him because all you could think about was that bastard trucker.
It probably felt like it did with Wolverine, though, right?
The voice snorted. Suuure, honey. Wolverine was holding back, being careful not to scare you. Logan wasn’t that night. Don’t you want to know what it feels like to be kissed by a man who has completely lost his mind with wanting you?
Ah…Ah don’t know.
Another snort. Grow up, little girl. And when you do, come talk to me.
There was a curious snapping sensation as Rogue felt the voice withdraw. While she still felt uncertain, she had to admit that what the voice said had made her curious.
“Logan? Ya still angry with me?”
Logan forced a half-smile. “I wasn’t really angry with you to begin with, darlin’.”
“Oh.” Rogue bit her lip in indecision. Mustering her courage, she continued. “Well, if ye’re not angry, then Ah wouldn’t mind tryin’ it again.”
“Tryin’ what?”
“Kissin’ ya,” Rogue replied in a rush. She felt more than saw Logan’s surprise. His entire body went still and it seemed he even held his breath for a few seconds.
“Thanks, but no.”
“No?” she asked in disbelief. There was a stirring of emotion beneath her heart that she couldn’t yet identify as anger or hurt. Maybe it was both.
“If I kiss you now, you’ll just be comparin’ me to him. I don’t want that,” Logan explained in a growl.
“But ye’re the same person, Logan!”
Logan scoffed. “After talkin’ to him, do you really believe that any more?”
“Yeah, Ah do. The only reason Ah was able to relax at all with him was because he’s so much like ya.”
“We’re no more the same person than identical twins are.”
Rogue frowned and Logan sighed heavily.
“Listen, darlin’. He was right in sayin’ that we think of you a little differently. It’s nothin’ bad, but it’s an important difference.”
“What is it? Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
Logan hesitated. “Because I didn’t want him to.”
Rogue thumped his shoulder in irritation. “So ye’re keepin’ secrets from me?”
Logan considered her question. “Yeah, for now I guess I am.”
Giving him a look full of frustration and not a little hurt, Rogue punched his shoulder and said spitefully, “Ah don’t wanna kiss ya anymore. Get off o’ me.”
Frowning, Logan rolled away and let her up. As she stalked angrily toward the bathroom, Logan called after her, “I didn’t mean to upset you, darlin’.”
Rogue turned in the doorway. “Yeah, well. Didn’t mean to, but ya did.” The door slammed loudly behind her and a moment later he heard the shower.
* * *
“What weren’t you tellin’ me earlier?” Logan demanded of the professor. While focusing on the man’s response, Logan kept an ear tuned in to the shower.
“Monique has organized a movement to have mutants known to have dangerous mutations banned from college campuses. There have been enough ‘accidents’ involving mutant students that people are listening to her.”
“What do you mean by accidents?”
“Mostly involving mutants who attend school full time and live on campus. They can only hide their mutations for so long before somebody starts noticing and confronts them.”
Logan snorted. “So instead of callin’ the ‘confrontations’ hate crimes and protectin’ the mutant students, they’re tryin’ to protect the vigilantes.”
“Yes, I would say that’s an accurate assessment,” the professor said, his words laced with humor.
Logan shook his head in bemusement. He couldn’t understand how Xavier could find anything funny at the moment.
“So, does it look like she’ll be successful?”
“Perhaps. She has an online petition set up. She has over 5000 electronic signatures at the moment.”
“When did she start the campaign?”
“This afternoon.”
Logan gave a low whistle. “And she’s got over 5000 signatures in only a few hours?”
“The situation does not look good, Logan. At all.”
Knowing that Xavier was referring to more than Monique’s campaign, Logan asked, “We’re not gonna be able to come back, are we?”
The hesitation before the professor spoke was answer enough. “Probably not any time soon. There’s talk of setting up patrols along the Canadian border, and the Mexican border has been effectively closed.”
Logan frowned. “Why’s there a difference between the two?”
“A geneticist recently published a study that supports higher rates of mutation in warmer climates.”
“Bullshit,” Logan denied immediately.
“Quite likely,” Xavier agreed, “but at the moment, people believe him.”
From the sound of things in the shower, Rogue was already rinsing her hair. “I’m runnin’ short on time here, Chuck. What’s the theory you have on Rogue?”
“I would like more time to discuss the issue with Hank before I say anything, Logan.”
“I don’t care. You need to tell me what you suspect. Now.”
Xavier sighed heavily. “Very well. You are aware that Rogue’s mind works quite differently from other people’s, yes?”
“Yeah. So?”
“And that part of the way her mind works is that it has an increased capacity to store foreign psyches?”
“Yeah, get to the point, Chuck,” Logan said impatiently.
“We – Hank and I, and Jean while she was here – believed that Rogue learned to manage those psyches herself so they did not overwhelm her. However, in his research Hank discovered a tendency in powerful mutants to manifest alternate personalities. You with Wolverine, Jean with the Phoenix. And now, perhaps, Rogue.”
“You sayin’ she has multiple personalities?” Logan asked skeptically.
“No more than you do, Logan.”
“If you’re right, why now? Nobody tried to block it off like you did with Jean.”
Another heavy sigh met Logan’s ears. “No, you’re right. Hank thinks that it might be related to the interview, that whatever issue Rogue was dealing with that threw her into the dissociative state may have opened the doorway for the other personality to assert itself.”
“What are you sayin’, exactly? Is she gonna start actin’ like a different person? Like Jean did?”
“We just don’t know, Logan. We believe that there is a correlation between the strength of the mutation and the strength of the alternate personality. As the only class 5 mutants I have ever known, I would suspect Rogue will be affected similarly to Jean.”
“No,” Logan denied instantly. “I’m not gonna let that happen.”
“Logan,” Xavier soothed, “You’re forgetting that the Phoenix’s behavior was largely the result of long-term suppression. That hasn’t happened with Rogue. But I do believe that her alternate is beginning to make itself known. Have you noticed any differences in Rogue since you left the mansion?”
Logan frowned and thought quickly. “She seems a little uncertain of herself. I figured that it was just ‘cause she was shaken up by the interview and everythin’ that’s happened.” Logan cleared his throat as he thought of the incident with the motel clerk. “And then there are times when she seems more normal, just a little more….I dunno. Brazen, I guess.”
“Hmm,” Xavier hummed, and Logan heard the scratching of pen on paper as the professor took notes. “How are her moods? Consistent, or do they change quickly?”
Logan couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “She’s gotten angry at me a few times lately. But given the circumstances each time, I don’t think her reaction was abnormal.”
“Oh?” Xavier asked, a smile in his voice. “Been giving her a hard time have you, Logan?”
“Can’t help it,” he admitted cheerfully. “Ever notice how pretty she is when she’s angry, Chuck?”
Xavier laughed in surprise. “Yes, indeed I have. But I think it might be best if you refrain from angering her for the time being, Logan.”
“I’ll try,” Logan returned ruefully, “but I can’t make any promises.”
“All anyone can ever do is try,” the professor sighed. For the first time, Logan heard the professor’s age in his voice. “Keep an eye on her, Logan, and let me know as soon as you notice anything out of the ordinary.”
“I will.” Logan hesitated for a moment. “Hey, Chuck? I just found out that Wolverine tries to protect me from things – he thinks that’s the reason he exists. Whatever’s happenin’ with Rogue, do you think it might be the same?”
There was a moment of silence. “Perhaps. Hank thinks that the reason Rogue would have an alternate is so that it can serve as a gatekeeper, or warden of sorts, for the psyches she has absorbed.”
From the bathroom, Logan caught the squeak of the shower knobs turning.
“Gotta go, Chuck.”
“All right. Goodbye, Logan.”
* * *
The first fingers of dawn were just beginning to creep over the horizon as Logan and Rogue headed for the Explorer. Although Rogue felt a hint of sadness over skipping breakfast with Clara and Mo, she wasn’t about to argue with Logan about leaving. They had monitored the international news channel throughout the night since neither of them had been able to sleep soundly. Only an hour ago the station showed a short clip from the interview, and although neither Logan nor Rogue was on screen for very long, there was no doubt that they would be easily recognized as a result.
Rogue was already settled in the passenger seat, the engine running, and Logan was tossing their bags on the back seat when Clara stepped out the back door of the bar. Logan froze and exchanged a look with Rogue. She shrugged her shoulders and turned her head to watch Clara’s approach. The older woman’s breath steamed in the cold morning air and Logan detected shivering beneath her voluminous, fur-lined parka. She was clutching a paper bag in her gloved hands. Clara eyed Logan over the hood of the Explorer as she rapped on Rogue’s window. When Rogue rolled it down, Clara thrust the bag into her lap.
“Been my habit for years now to watch the news while I make up the mornin’ coffee. Saw somethin’ interestin’ and figured the two o’ you might not feel up to stayin’ fer breakfast today. So I brought breakfast to you. Weather report said the snow’s supposed to hold off ‘til early evenin’, so it’s best you’re startin’ out now.”
Rogue blinked rapidly and crumpled the top of the paper bag in her fist.
“Clara, Ah…”
Clara ignored her and stared intently at Logan. “You take care o’ this little gal, you hear me?”
Logan nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
Clara nodded curtly in return and turned away without another word. Logan stood watching until the bar door closed quietly behind her. He climbed into the Explorer slowly and looked at Rogue.
Seems she took to motherin’ Marie after last night. Wolverine’s voice was quiet, respectful.
Seems so, Logan replied. Don’t think she took to me too well, though.
That’d be because of the interview segment they showed. Even I thought it made you sound like a pedophile.
“Thanks,” Logan muttered, and shook his head at Rogue’s questioning look. He did his best to ignore the rest of what Wolverine said as he pulled the Explorer onto the road and headed yet farther north.
After a few miles, Logan glanced over at Rogue again. “So what’s in the bag?”
Rogue took a quick peek, a smile spreading over her face. “Looks like coffee,” she said, pulling out a small thermos, “breakfast sandwiches, and fresh cinnamon buns.”
“Gimme some o’ that coffee first,” Logan grunted, inhaling appreciatively as the warm scents of bacon and sugar frosting filled the car’s interior.
Rogue carefully poured some of the coffee into the thermos top and handed it to Logan. She screwed the lid back into place and watched him as he took his first sip.
“So what were ya an’ the professor talkin’ ‘bout last night?” At Logan’s hasty gulp and the slightly pained look that crossed his face, Rogue’s right eyebrow lifted in cold amusement.
“You were there, darlin’. You heard my side of the conversation at least.”
“Ah’m talkin’ ‘bout yer other little conversation, Logan,” she said sternly. When he remained silent, Rogue scoffed and reminded him, “The one ya’ll had while Ah was in the shower.”
Logan grunted and took a quick swig of coffee before answering. “Figures you’d know ‘bout that. How, though?”
“‘Cause ya always have a look on yer face after talkin’ to the professor.”
Knowing better than to deny Rogue’s claim with a vehement “bullshit,” Logan just cast her a sideways glance.
“Ya always look like ye’re thinkin’ hard, but there’s an edge of…Ah dunno… ‘A-hah!’ to it.”
Logan snorted a short laugh. “An edge of ‘a-hah’?”
“At the very least,” Rogue returned primly. “So what all did the two o’ ya figure out last night?”
Sighing heavily, Logan met Rogue’s eyes briefly. “Monique’s makin’ trouble.”
“That’s a given. What else?”
“Political situation with mutants in the States is getting’ worse.”
“Can’t say as Ah’m surprised. Ye’re hedgin’, Logan. What part o’ the conversation with Chuck had ya lookin’ at me funny the rest o’ the night?”
A small smile tilted up the corners of Logan’s mouth when Rogue used the nickname. The smile faded quickly, though, as he turned once again to look at her. “Do you hear voices, darlin’?”
Rogue jerked back as if struck and dropped her gaze to her lap. “Did Professor Xavier pick up on that?”
Logan sucked in a deep breath, knowing that the situation was serious if Rogue didn’t waste any time denying it. “How bad?”
Her brow furrowed in a frown and her head tipped toward one shoulder in consideration, Rogue finally met his eyes again. “Not…bad. Just different. Ah mean, it’s not like the voice is tellin’ me to do anythin’ bad or sayin’ nasty stuff. An’ Ah know it’s not mah voice, so it can’t trick me into anythin’. It just sorta points things out to me that Ah’m not entirely comfortable havin’ pointed out.”
Logan gave a bitter chuckle, all too familiar with the situation Rogue was describing. Perhaps she heard some of that in the sound he made, and her look changed to one of sympathy.
“So Ah’m not crazy, an’ it’s not gonna go away?”
Logan shook his head. “Not likely. Chuck’s gonna talk it over with Hank, see if they can find some reasons, mess with some scientific mumbo-jumbo…whatever they do together.”
“Is it ‘cause o’ the number o’ times Ah’ve absorbed ya?”
“Hm?”
“Well, Ah’m developin’ an alter ego like Wolverine, right? Since Ah’ve gotten a little bit o’ him whenever Ah absorbed ya, do ya think maybe mah mind’s just gotten used to that kind o’ arrangement an’…adopted it fer itself?”
Logan considered the idea briefly before shaking his head. “No, darlin’. Chuck and Hank think it’s part o’ your mutation. The professor said it was probably a gatekeeper o’ sorts for all the personalities you’ve absorbed.”
“Huh,” Rogue said thoughtfully. “Ah guess that makes sense. Kinda like Wolverine takes care o’ ya, this gatekeeper takes care o’ me? But Wolverine only fully merged with ya after…after the lab. Ah haven’t had any kind o’ traumatic event like that to bring out the voice.”
“Haven’t you?” Logan asked shrewdly. He handed her the empty thermos top and flicked a finger quickly over a section of white hair. “You’ve had a whole string o’ traumatic events since your mutation manifested, darlin’. Nobody said the trauma had to happen all at once to bring out an alternate personality.”
“Ah guess,” Rogue acknowledged. She handed Logan one of the breakfast sandwiches and then poured some coffee for herself. Squaring her shoulders, the gesture Logan recognized as Rogue’s way of deliberately putting aside a matter, she turned to him and asked, “So, where we goin’?”
“North. Just north for now. We’ll figure out the rest when we get there.”
“Works fer me,” Rogue murmured, taking her first sip of coffee.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry I disappeared! Holidays, new job, horribly sick for about a month (got sick just in time for the lapsing of the old insurance policy and before the new one was valid...isn't that always the way it works?!), but everything's settled at the moment. *Crosses fingers*
Anyway, this is a bit of a short chapter. Some fun moments between L & R and an interesting development with Rogue.
Anyway, this is a bit of a short chapter. Some fun moments between L & R and an interesting development with Rogue.