She stood in front of the tall building, wondering how she could ever find the strength and courage to just open the door. It had been over ten years since she had last stood at the spot, and it had been a wonder that her pass code at the main gate still worked. She would have thought that they would have disabled it after she left. Maybe they thought she would come back, but she never did make it. Even when her abilities came back after that first year, she still couldn’t bring herself to return. There was just too much that she had yet to forgive herself for, too much that she had yet to let go of.
She could still remember coming home that fateful day after she had taken the cure. It had scared her to think of what would happen. She hadn’t known about the battle at Alcatraz, although she had been certain that something like it was going to happen. She had wanted to be there to support her family, but she had a feeling that once the battle was over, her opportunity would be gone with it. It wasn’t until after they had stuck her with that damn needle and sent her on her way that she found out what had happened. She had gotten off the bus and had seen it on the news, and her heart plummeted. But what was she supposed to do? Continue to live her life covered from head to toe? Never touch anyone? Forever be the virginal master piece of the school, only to be gazed at fondly like she was a masterpiece in a museum? She couldn’t help but snort at the thought.
When she had returned that day, so many years ago, she had been afraid that she would be scrutinized and condemned for the choice she had made for herself. Instead she had found Bobby to be relieved and a little over excited. He had wanted to get started right then, and she had to force him off, telling him that everything was still very new, and that she would need a little more time. It still scared her that something would go wrong.
Jubilee had been thrilled, even going as far as holding her bare hand at any given time, just to make sure. Pitor had been a little disappointed, although he had insisted that he was happy for her. It took her a week to find out that he had always been a little proud of the fact the he was the only one who could touch her, even though he had to be in his metal form to do it.
The one person that she had feared, though, had ended up being the most understanding and supportive. She would never forget the moment she had told Storm. At first the older woman had been shocked. But before Rogue could even start grasping for conclusions, her former teacher had pulled her into a tight embrace, softly asking her if she was alright and making sure that she hadn’t been hurt in anyway.
That had been the first time she had cried over her decision. She had known what she would give up, but she had never contemplated how vulnerable she would be. Storm had held her close, understanding the turmoil and pain. Even though it was something she had decided for herself, she still had to morn for the part of her she had lost. Afterward, Storm had assured her that she could stay with them for as long as she wanted and even finish school. It seemed that, before he died, Xavier had written her into his will, leaving her with a substantial amount of money, a few stocks and bonds, and even a little house he owned in the south. She had also been added to the deed along side Storm and Logan.
~~~~~“After your first year with us,” Storm had explained when Rogue had asked her if Xavier had been in his right mind, “he hadn’t been sure what was to become of you. It became painfully obvious that chances were you would never gain control.”
“So he really had no hope for me at all? All those exercises we did we’re for nothing,” Rogue whispered to herself softly.
“Oh, no Sweetheart. Xavier was trying to help you in anyway possible. He was always so distraught afterward. He wanted to give you a true chance at real life, outside of these walls. You were like a daughter to him. He left you all of this because he wanted to make sure that you would be taken care of and always have someplace safe to call home. He knew how hard it would be for you to live without some support. He wanted you to be happy.” Storm wrapped her arms around her again, whispering things to her that she never really heard. Xavier had set her up for life, making sure that she would never have to worry about anything.~~~~~~~~
She hadn’t known about this because the reading of the will had happened the day after the funeral, and she had already left by then. She hadn’t even thought he had even bothered to mention her, much less left her anything. And she hadn’t really told anyone where she was headed. But she had accepted everything with stride, not sure if she was going to use it or not.
The real kick to the stomach was the way Logan reacted. If she had thought anyone would have been happy for her, it would have been him; instead, he seemed to have decided to avoid her like the plague.
It made her sick to watch him watch her, knowing that it was to make sure he didn’t come to close. She had always thought of him as her best friend, but he was acting like she was nothing more than a pariah. It was almost as if he didn’t revere her as anything but one of the others now.
That was the final straw for her. She knew she needed to get away. She packed her bags and left, not saying a word to anyone. Her best friend had turned his back on her, and if she was being honest with herself, his opinion was really the only one that mattered to her anymore.
But now she stood in front of the heavy oak doors, ready to claim her place in this home, and to continue the legacy her mentor and provider had started years before. If only she could force her hand to open the damn door!
“What the hell?” She knew that gruff voice all too well. She hadn’t wanted to see him. Not yet. She had known that it was inevitable, but did he really have to be the first person she saw?
The door opened quickly, and it was almost a shock to see the man standing in front of her. She hadn’t realized how much it would hurt her. She had come ill prepared and wished she could just turn around and walk away. And then she realized there was nothing stopping her.
“This was a mistake. Maybe some other time.” She turned to leave, wanting to hurry down the path as fast as she could. Anyone who would have been watching would have thought she was running for her life.
She was almost to the gate when she felt a hand grab her arm and turn her around.
“Where you going, Darlin?” She kept her eyes closed even as she felt the rush his rough voice had always sent through her.
“Away. Far away. This was a mistake.” She tried to pull away from his grasp, but he was too strong. “Just let me go, Logan.”
“Not this time, Darlin,” he whispered as he pulled her in closer, moving his hold from around her arm to her entire body. “Not again.”
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Story Notes:
This is basically writing it's self. Can't say if it will actually be finished or not. Stands a chance if I go ahead and start posting one chapter at a time.
ADD:Wasn't expecting this to take such a turn, so I had to bump up the rating!!!! If you are offeneded by Rape (which is a bad bad thing) than very sorry.
ADD:Wasn't expecting this to take such a turn, so I had to bump up the rating!!!! If you are offeneded by Rape (which is a bad bad thing) than very sorry.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Let me know what you think. Not sure how far this is going to go. It's basically just writing itself.
Chapter End Notes:
Feedback is always appreciated! Thank you!