3. Lost and Lonely – Marie
I’ve been leant on the front counter of the ‘Choke & Puke’, starring out the window for the last hour. This is probably the only original dinner left in Canada. Its old fashioned from around the late ‘60’s, complete with cream/red coloured leather booths and a big jukebox. Apparently it hasn’t worked since 1974 and nobody has ever bothered to fix it, which I think is a shame. I would love to have a try, but I’m not at all mechanically minded.
There haven’t been many customers this morning. Most only want coffee, some want a little more, but nothing especially taxing. I just keep starring out the window. Wondering if he’s left yet. He said he was leaving early, I wonder what his version of early is. Mine’s 6am. Though I didn’t sleep much last night. After Logan left I took a long shower and laid on my bed starring at the ceiling.
Just can’t get the man outta my head. So, I watch the road, not that I know what kind of car or truck he drives, could have a motorbike for all I know. That makes me smile, I can imagine him on a motorbike, a big hulking Harley that you can hear rumbling you’re way a mile off. I wonder what it would be to like to ride on the back of something like that, holding onto him, burying my face in the back of his jacket. God! Get a grip woman.
There was definitely something about him. Something different, I mean, I know he only had one thing in mind and but he didn’t take off the minute he found out he wasn’t getting it. He walked me home. Talked to me. Looked, at me. I know men look at me, but none of them actually see me, not past my chest anyhow. I’ve never had a man look at me quite like that, like they saw something in me that was worth something.
A regular walks in and sits at the counter in front of me. I smile and put my finger up stopping him from ordering, he comes in everyday and her loves the fact that I get his order right every day. Turning towards the kitchen I shout to Mo. “Mo, break three and wreak em, then throw on a couple of logs.”
Mr Collins chuckles, his shaggy beard bouncing slightly. “Marie, you always know what I like. Three eggs and two sausages. I have a little extra cream in my coffee this morning, I noticed yesterday that the brew was a little strong.”
“Sure Mr Collins, no worries.”
I fetch his coffee and wait for Mo to cook his food. Again I glance out the window as another car drives past. There isn’t much snow on the ground, mostly mush, but it makes enough noise so that I can tell when there is a car or a truck, or something.
I need to snap out of this. I shake my head a little as I pour Mr Collins’s coffee, I really, really need to snap out of this. I few hours and a couple of drinks and this man, I don’t even know his surname, has me thinking my ass off.
I thought that all my girlish fantasies about finding someone had passed me by a long time ago. I grew up when I ran away, I grew up real fast and its been a long time since I felt this little tightening in my stomach from someone. I haven’t really felt anything since Cody, and lets be honest that didn’t exactly work out how I planned.
Feeling stuff for people is too risky, someone always gets hurt. Cody got hurt. Christ I have tried not to think about that for so long. Things here are peaceful in a way, predictable. Safe. No change, no surprises. Safe.
I’ve been living at the trailer park for two years now and life is very good. Its plane and simple, but its mine. A sprinkle of fresh flowers every now and then and a huge Guns ‘N’ Roses poster makes it perfect. I don’t have to share. I can be alone with my skin turned on and not have to worry.
I have very few complaints and all of them pale into insignificance when I think back to living at home.
Mo runs this dinner with his wife Flo, myself and the delectable Val work as waitresses. Val is a sweetie, I think she is around 35 but I’ve never had the heart to ask, I can plainly see the wrinkles arriving at the side of her face, but she plasters on the make-up with a trowel. She’s tall with coppery short hair and huge breasts and the most changeable personality you could ever imagine. One minute she’s fine then something will set her off and the whole world knows to stay out of her way. She makes me laugh.
Gina is the one, who has made me stronger, or maybe she has just showed me the way, and I like to think that I did a little myself. She is so confident and I think being around her has made me relax and realise that the world maybe isn’t full of horrible and spiteful people.
We’re a dynamic duo behind that bar now, partners in crime, fending off the drunks and keeping up with the orders on fight nights. The second best thing she ever did was teach me yoga, which I love, it keeps me toned all over as well as really bendy. Kinda cool, not that I’ve used the bendy part of me yet.
We also talk, a lot. She knows I’m a mutant, I told her the truth and the best thing she did was she was be great about it, but we both agreed that no one else in the town probably would be.
I wonder what Logan would think if he knew that I was a mutant. He doesn’t strike me as the un-opinionated type. Sighing I give my one an only customer his breakfast and smile sweetly as he winks at me and then dribbles egg in his beard. Nice! Guess this is the only kinda man I can look forward to.
Thankfully within minutes my day gets better as Gina comes in looking worse for wear after those beers last night. “Morning sunshine, want some eggs, or bacon, yeah nice greasy bacon fried in a good…”
“If you don’t want me to decorate your shoes missy you will shut it right now.”
“Oh Gina, that bad, I thought you only had a couple?” I get her a cup of coffee as she sits at the far end of the counter.
“Yeah that bad. I finished dads whiskey after I got him to bed. But, I’m better since I just got my daily dose of eye candy courtesy or the walking man-hunk Logan.”
My eyes widen a little. “You saw him this morning?”
“Uh-hu. He came by the bar to say goodbye to dad. But you know daddy he was out of it, don’t really know why he came surely if he knows dad as well as he says he does he should know that he was out cold, but hey. So, he asked me to tell him that he would be back in a couple of months when the fights start up again, end of February.” She sips her coffee and grimaces at the taste, then reaches for the sugar and pours some in. “Oh babe I can’t wait, trust me when he comes back through this town I am so getting myself a piece of that.”
“You are?” I can’t help the little disappointed sigh that escapes when I say that.
She leans back in her chair and raises an eyebrow at me. Busted. “Well well. Do I detect a little hint of interest from my celibate friend?”
I fidget. “I…um, I don’t know. I guess he’s nice.”
“Nice? Nice! He’s more, I-like-your-face-can-I-wear-it-as-a-hat kinda nice. Oh he is more than that, sex on legs, which by the way are fabulous too, I don’t normally go for legs, but yes sir, I’m interested in those, nice strong musically thighs that could stand there and take me against a wall!”
“Who’s got your panties all in a twist then?” Val walks in from out the back and catches the tale end of our conversation.
“Logan, a friend of my dads, he came through town last night.”
She stiffens and then frowns. “Let me guess, tall, dark, sexy and looks like he could bench press a truck?”
Me and Gina exchange glances and I remember the conversation Logan had with Tony last night. “Um, yeah.”
Her stance changes, one hand gets propped up on her hip and her eyes glint dangerously. Gina suppresses a giggle. “Oh that bastard. He fly’s into town and doesn’t come see me, well you just wait till I see *him* again. That son of a bitch picked me up at your dads bar, took me back to mine after a couple of his fights and fucked me good, then he literally pulls up his pants, grunts something about an early start and goes to leave. Damn I didn’t even have time get my breath back before he was to my door.” By this time her face has gone red and I’m trying not to laugh either. “…and let me tell you that no man, I mean *no* man walks out of me. Then if all that wasn’t bad enough he turns back gives me some look I can’t really read and tells me ‘The heels are nice darlin’ but try some odour-eaters next time’ I tell you this girls…”
We are both snorting our laughter back as she rants on until Mo calls her name and we can finally laugh all we want. When me and Gina calm down, she tells me that we’ll talk about it later at the bar. We embrace and she leaves as a couple of truckers come in, eyeing her ass as she goes.
The day goes on and my mind still wanders for the best part of it until once again I’m back at the bar, the night is slow, easy with no trouble which is always a bonus. Me and Gina never really get to talk, which I’m kinda pleased about and by the time the night is over, all I want to do is go home and crash. Then I’m on my own again, lying in bed, starring at the ceiling and thinking once again about a man I hardly know.
So I try to piece together all the things that I do know about him. He likes a drink, women, and if he’s coming back in February he obviously likes the fights. That’s one fight I think I would watch.
He works in a school in Westchester, New York. My curiosity is going crazy, so I reach under my bed for my laptop. People round here may be red necked idiots of low moral fibre, but they have excellent broadband.
After an hour I find two schools in Westchester, one is an elementary school and Logan doesn’t seem like the type to want to be around little kids all day, so it has to be the other one. Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. I wrinkle my nose, its sounds way too posh. I bet the yearly fees are ridiculous.
My mother would have loved it.
Bet he has a score and more young girls drooling over him every day. He could have his pick of women, so I just can’t think why he would want to spend an evening looking at me.
Maybe I’m just over thinking this, he more than likely just thought I would be easy. But he doesn’t seem like that type of guy despite what Val said about him. God he slept with Val, or ‘fucked her good’ as she said. I sure as hell wouldn’t know what that’s like, not unless battery powered sex counts, which I don’t think it does. That’s a train of thought I can do without, great now I’m never going to sleep tonight, four months is going to take forever.