The lights are still on, and it makes Logan’s presence even more vivid and real in the small space of the bed. Suddenly the world has narrowed to his mesmerizing gaze sweeping over my face, trying to read me it seems. I’m holding my breath, biting my tongue afraid to say something I shouldn’t and ruin everything. I know that this moment between us is important, it’s our reunion, our time to re-discover our relationship beyond the *knowledge* of our love.
Tonight will seal our fate, and I’m scared out of my mind. Those feelings I thought I had buried long ago come back to the surface, and I’m sure James has nothing to do with it; those are all and truly mine.
Logan’s gaze doesn’t quiver, holding mine unblinkingly. The gold in them swirls and shifts, letting me know that he’s not alone here. The Wolverine, the blood hungry beast is here too but the fight is on. Logan is fighting him with every ounce of control he has and it frightens me even more. What if he actually lost the fight, lost control while we’re so intimate? I’ve never felt such a fear before, not for Logan, never, that I can tell. It’s so strong I’m almost suffocating. But I’m aroused too, and he *knows* it. He can smell it, taste it on his tongue without even sampling me. I want the man, but I’m not sure I want the beast. I saw it when I touched him a few months before; saw what the Wolverine could do, what he was like. He’s savage and brutal and most of all hurt and desperate, and there’s nothing more dangerous than an injured animal…
I never thought I’d be so conflicted about it. I thought I could forget it, get over it if I buried it deep enough. What a fool I was. I need to see things as they are. I hold Wolverine responsible for James’ condition; his mutation. A scared and ignorant part of me thinks that it’s his fault that my little boy will never have a chance at normality, his fault for him having such a lethal *gift*.
That part of me holds him responsible for all the coming pain in my baby’s life, responsible for afflicting Logan, stealing away his humanity, his honor… But I fight this part of me.
I try to remember something, anything…But My mind goes blank. The only image I cling to is the one of Logan laying lifeless in front of me, suspended between earth and sky in a shredded torch.
Who made that ultimate sacrifice? The man I know, or the beast I fear?
He’s looking at me even more closely, if that was possible, and I can see his nostrils flare, smelling me.
“Are you scared of me, Marie?”
Oh crap, I’m doomed, busted, I’m hyperventilating… Oh God, it’s Wolverine, he’s there, if his now golden eyes are anything to go by.
I’m not going to live through this. But something stirs in me, curious, dangerously attracted. How did I do it before? What was it like the first time we were together? Too many questions and not enough time to answer.
Okay, Rogue, you can do this, you already did this, it’s no big deal… But please, do not look downwards…
“You didn’t answer me…”
Logan/Wolverine’s voice is deep and rasped and breathy and I’m swooning, I cannot utter a single sound. He’s got me pinned with his ardent gaze only. Is it what people call animal magnetism?
“…Sweet, beautiful Marie…Tell me!”
Alright, panic time! He’s not actually yelling, but his tone leaves no room for argument, and I think my heart’s just rocketed through the ceiling. Damnit, speak Rogue, Speak!
“I don’t know…”
Okay, he doesn’t look all too pleased with that, but it’s a start.
“I’ll never hurt you. Baby, I’ll never lay a hand on you.”
“Who says so?”
Wolverine? Logan? Anyways, his whole body tenses at my phrasing and I swear I see something shifting in his facial expression… If he ever was pissed before… I’ve never felt that vulnerable in my whole life, not that I can remember, but I feel helpless, completely at this man/beat’s mercy. Why can’t I remember anything? I should remember! If we were together, if James *is* our son, then I should remember something about him and me being so intimate, anything. I’m naked, and my skin’s actually burning under his scrutiny.
The heat of his equally naked flesh sinks into me through the few millimeters still between us. He doesn’t make a move, he’s just watching me with those impossible eyes. I need to know who’s really in charge here. Is it the man I re-discovered those past few months, or the beast I secretly fear?
“I know Logan wouldn’t hurt me…” I say, my voice barely audible above my labored breathing.
“Logan?”
Again this shift in his eyes, and I find once again the deep greens I love so much. So it was indeed Wolverine… He’s still there, somewhere, lurking… It’s Logan I want right now, Logan I need more than anything.
“Yes, Logan… I know, you’d never hurt me.”
Tears sting my eyes, I’m about to give in. I’m feeling so conflicted about the man now hovering only a hairsbreadth over me.
“I’d never hurt you baby…ever. And…he…”
His voice is breaking, choked sob it seems. Rogue, stay put, don’t lose it, don’t cry damn it!
“He’d never hurt you either. If anything, he’d be the first to lay his life for you and for James. He…He loves you too, maybe even more than I’ll ever do. Everything with him is much deeper, visceral, and inalienable. He said it before, Marie, you and James belong to him and he’ll protect you with everything he is.”
“But Logan…”
He doesn’t let me finish and closes the infinitesimal space between our bodies, crashing desperate lips to mine. Who’s kissing me now? Logan breaks and pants between his heated kisses.
“Let him love you too, Marie, let *us* love you…”
I hear myself moan and groan despite myself, letting my body respond to those faraway memories of love.
“Let him have you…”
The man is pleading, although I know that it’s the beast that is now ravishing my body, coaxing heated responses from it, making it his to play with.
I need to know on the Statue, who made the sacrifice… If I don’t ask now, I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to ask again.
“Tell me” I say “Tell who made the sacrifice, who gave his life for me? Please, tell me…”
The answer doesn’t make itself wait.
“It was Wolverine…”
The words are thrust in my mouth, as a searing kiss nudges my lips open.
“It was Wolverine…me…We couldn’t lose you, ever!”
His tone is harsh; in between kisses and now bites along my jaw line. Logan’s hands do not stay passive either, parting my legs to let him position himself between them. I’m still scared, but I also know that I don’t want this to stop. And Logan pleads again, making sure I won’t regret this, him…or them for that matter.
“Do you want me, Marie? Do you want us?”
As I said before, this night will seal our fate. Here I am, with the man I love and the beast I still fear but to whom I owe my life. Maybe I will learn to love him as much as he seems to love me. Maybe after tonight, I’ll see things differently. After…tonight.
“Yes, I want you…All of you.”
All of him…these words sound so familiar and so foreign at the same time. I’m ready for this, ready for him… And then I feel him slide inside me, my body welcoming the invasion almost eagerly, shooting me right to the stars with ecstasy. He’s inside me. Doesn’t move, not yet. It’s like he’s trying to commit the sensation to memory.
I look up to his face, only to be met by eyes full of pain, hurt and something else that I can’t quite place…Betrayal? Disappointment? And they are pure gold, like those of a wolf. It’s the Wolverine’s pain I see right now, and I’m the one responsible for all those emotions so clearly shown in those mesmerizing orbs.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry guys for the long, loooong wait. Here's a very short chapter, mostly Marie POV. Rated for obvious reasons...They're back together and it's gonna be a night to remember...
I hope you'll enjoy!
Once again, I own nothing but my laptop and a massive dose of imagination!
I hope you'll enjoy!
Once again, I own nothing but my laptop and a massive dose of imagination!