Marie sat in the game room alone. Her eyes stared out the window, watching the snow gently fall from the heavens. Above her right eye was a nasty bruise. When she had passed out, she had hit the side of her bed. When she had woken up, Jean was standing over her, the doctor coming out in the woman. Scott had gently picked her up, turning to take her to the med lab, but Marie had begged them not to take her back there. She hated that place for reasons she didn’t remember.
They had put her to bed and that’s where she stayed for two days. When they had all left her, she had turned her eyes towards the floor where she had passed out. She looked for several minutes, the dimly lit room hard to see in. It wasn’t there, which only meant that one of them had taken the picture of her and Logan. She had meant to destroy it, not wanting any reminder of that man. Her mind played her memory over and over again, trying to find something that would show her that all was not as it seemed. She saw nothing but what she had experienced.
It was Saturday, which meant that the mansion was mostly deserted. Students and teachers were either outside on the grounds, enjoying the sunshine, or in town shopping. Marie felt like doing neither. She had been avoiding them all and so far it had worked. It seemed as though they were giving her the space that she wanted.
It was eerily quiet in the space surrounding Marie. She slowly closed her eyes, listening to its palpable sound. Her body began to relax as her breathing slowed. If anyone walked in, they would believe she had fallen asleep. She was as still as a stone. What she was waiting for, she wasn’t sure. The more time ticked by, the more the silence grew until it was deafening.
Then, Marie heard it. It was as faint as a whisper, tickling the back of her mind. She dared not move, not even to take a breath. It was a ghost of laughter, as if riding the waves of the wind in and out of the room. She heard it all around her, encircling her with its sound. How she knew that it was a memory of this place, she wasn’t sure, but with every fiber of her being she knew that the laughter was of a place and time that she was that girl everyone said she was. As fast as it appeared, it was gone. Marie opened her eyes, looking around her. She had spent many times in this place. The laughter must have meant it was happy times.
There was the sound of someone moving behind her. They stepped in quietly, but Marie didn’t miss their arrival. They stood there without saying a word at first and Marie hoped it wasn’t Professor Xavier. He had tried to talk to her after the incident in his office, but she hadn’t been ready to discuss her memory. It was enough that the memory was the only one she had, but to have to relive it to another was something she didn’t want to do right now.
“Someone said you were in here,” said a voice at the doorway.
It wasn’t the voice Marie was expecting. It wasn’t a man’s voice at all but a woman’s. Marie turned, seeing Jubilation Lee walking slowly towards her. The girl gave her a soft smile as she sat down on the couch beside her. Marie did not return the smile. Everyone had said that she was like a sister to Marie, everyone insisted upon it, but all Marie saw was a stranger.
“Mind if I join you for a bit?” she asked Marie softly.
Marie shook her head yes, but deep within her she just wanted to be alone. The two women sat in silence, not knowing exactly what to say and if they did have something to say, they didn’t know how to say it. The tension grew thick.
“Are you going to tell me about the memory, or am I going to have to ask you twenty questions?”
Marie jerked her head to look at Jubilation Lee. She was softly smiling, the smile warm and friendly.
“How…” Marie began.
“Rogue, you’ll come to learn…again, that there isn’t a whole lot that can be kept from me, especially if it involves you,” she cut in.
Marie didn’t respond to that. Seeing that knowing look in the girl’s eyes made her point valid.
“So, you going to tell me or do I need to start my twenty questions?” she said playfully.
A smile began to creep into Marie’s hard features. She watched Jubilation Lee wag her eyebrows opening her mouth to speak. Marie cut her off, holding her hand up for her to stop. No, she didn’t want to play twenty questions.
“I met a man the other night, out at Central Park, that Xavier said was a close friend of mine.”
“Logan,” Jubilation chimed in.
“Yeah. He told me that we were best friends. We didn’t have a long time to talk because there were others there, but I felt something, a jolt if you will. No memories came back to me, but there was something about him, that much I could tell.”
Marie stopped, looking over to make sure she was following. Jubilation nodded her head for her to continue, so with a deep breath, she spoke again, “Everyone, from Logan to Xavier said the same thing, we were close, best friends. Then, in my session a memory finally came back.”
“That’s great, Rogue.” Jubilation said quietly.
“Is it?” Marie asked sadly. “That man tried to kill me. Some friend, huh?”
Jubilation’s face showed her confusion. She knew what was coming she’d heard it from Xavier. He had sworn to her that what she saw wasn’t what it seemed, but it was real.
“You’re talking about the night he stabbed you, aren’t you?” Jubilation said carefully.
So it was true, all of it. This Logan guy had tried to kill her and Jubilation had just confirmed it. From somewhere deep within her, she felt sad.
“Oh, honey no,” she said, taking Marie’s bare hand softly in hers.
“What? You’re going to tell me that it’s not real too?” Marie said harshly, snatching her hand away and standing to leave. She got to the doorway when she heard Jubilation softly speak.
“I was there, Rogue. I know what happened.”
Marie halted at her words. Jubilation had been there? She slowly turned, waiting for her to continue.
“Come, sit down and I’ll tell you what your memory has left out. Believe me, its left out a lot.”
For a moment, Marie didn’t move. Would she just be fed more lies? But, what if they weren’t lies? What if Xavier had been telling her the truth and she had been so scared by what she remembered that it blinded her to that fact? For some reason, Marie felt she could trust Jubilation. Maybe it was the many pictures in her room of the two of them and how happy she looked with this girl. Finally, she turned and walked back towards the couch.
When she was seated, Jubilation began, “To understand Logan, you have to know his past. It is not for me to tell you, Rogue. Just know that it is complicated and one that mirrors even your own.”
She paused here, letting that sink in. What did that mean mirroring her own? She didn’t have time to ask before Jubilation continued.
“Logan’s mutation allows him to heal rapidly and to have animal-keen senses, which meant that we could never sneak out without him knowing, but that’s a whole other story,” she said with a quiet laugh, as if she were remembering something. “But, he was also born with bone claws.”
She hesitated and Marie saw something pass over the girl’s face. It looked like sadness or sympathy, Marie wasn’t sure.
“Something happened to him, years before coming to the mansion, something that he was just beginning to remember, at least bits and pieces anyway. The memory that you remembered was one of the first nights of the two of you here. He was having a nightmare and you heard him. You went to his room wanting to check on him to make sure everything was okay. He was in the middle of a nightmare and you tried to wake him. Rogue, the animal in him took over and when he awoke, he attacked thinking he was in danger.”
Marie held on to every word Jubilation was saying. As she spoke, the memory played in her head and it was as if the girl was narrating.
“The moment he realized what he had done, he screamed for help. I heard his scream and ran to see what was going on. When I got there, he was looking at you with terror and horror in his eyes. He could barely get the words out of his mouth when he called for help again.”
Marie swallowed the lump in her throat. She remembered hearing him saying something, but she was far too gone to recognize the words.
“They’ve told you about your mutation, right?” Jubilation Lee asked quietly.
Not able to speak, Marie nodded her head once. It had come as a shock when they told her she hadn’t been able to touch another person in four years without killing them. It sounded like a horrible mutation to have, but for now it was gone.
“Logan knew too. He knew what would happen if you touched him, but he stood there anyway as your hand raised towards his face. Yes, Rogue, what you saw happened. Logan, in the throes of a nightmare, stabbed you, all but killing you. What you can’t remember, though, was that he allowed you to touch him, taking his healing ability, and in doing so, he saved you.”
Marie let out a small gasp, time seemed to slow down. She closed her eyes, willing her mind to remember that part of the memory. If she could remember the bad, why could she not the good?
“Logan would never hurt you, Rogue. I know you’ve heard that from several other people and there is a reason they are saying it…it’s true,” Jubilation whispered.
“You saw that?” Marie choked out.
Jubilation reached down, squeezing Marie’s hand. The emotions were overwhelming. Gone was the hate and anger she felt, as it was replaced with more questions and…hope?
“I swear it!” Jubilation whispered fervently.
“If he cared so much about me like everyone says, why isn’t he here?” Marie asked woefully.
She had wanted to ask that question for a while now. Everyone was so insistent that she and Logan were close and that she meant a great deal to him, but he wasn’t here. He wasn’t here to help her through this and to regain who she was. Jubilation looked down at their locked hands, her face growing sad. Slowly her brown eyes looked up and out at the snowy day. Marie could see something behind those eyes, something heartbreaking. Slowly, the girl pulled something out of her pocket, laying it into Marie’s lap.
“Sometimes we have to do what we must for the ones we love, even if that means selling our souls to the devil himself.”
Looking down at her lap, Marie saw that it was the picture of her and Logan.
One month later…
Logan stood to the side, watching the twelve newest members of the Brotherhood sparring with each other. All of them had improved, both physically and mentally in the last month. Logan wasn’t proud of what he was doing, teaching these mutants to fight for Magneto, but he was proud of their spirit. Everyday had been a strained workout for them, but they put forth a great effort and for their efforts they were rewarded with new skills and a new confidence that had been stripped from them by the government labs. Logan was to the point he would try to find the good in any situation and reminding himself of the mutant’s fight returning to them was enough to push him to do what he had promised Magneto.
The training kept him busy during the day. It was a good distraction from his weary head. When he was amongst these mutants, he was the Wolverine. Late at night, when all was still and silent, he was just Logan. Laid dormant inside the hardened shell of his soul, the Wolverine rested, allowing the man to deal with the aftermath of his emotions. Logan was left to deal with them pain of seeing her face every moment his eyes closed and knowing she was just out of his reach.
His mind was wandering again and this wasn’t the time for that. He shook his head, as if to rid himself of the fog of memory. He was just in time too as Magneto stepped outside onto the snow-covered ground. Logan watched him out of the corner of his eyes, trying to make it seem like he had not noticed him. The man’s face showed his pride as he watched his newest recruits sparring. He knew that Magneto saw their improvement too and that in just over a month, they had all but learned their skills. It didn’t take a genius to understand that revenge and anger will make a person push harder than anything.
Logan let out a sigh when he finally admitted to himself that Magneto’s army was becoming complete. The first step towards Magneto’s plan of supremacy was well underway and Logan had no one to blame but himself.
“Logan, may I have a word with you?” Magneto said, coming to stand beside him.
Logan nodded his head, waiting on the man to speak. The men locked eyes and Logan felt uneasy seeing a gleam in the other man’s eyes. Magneto was up to something and Logan could only dread what that something was.
“Not here, Logan. Let us take this conversation to my office.”
With that, Magneto turned and walked back inside the cave. With one final look at his recruits, Logan took a deep breath, stilling his anger. He walked slowly at first, his mind shooting out different scenarios. Gone around him was the bright, snowy day and in its place was dark, hard stone. As if it were possible, the temperature dropped the closer he got to Magneto’s office.
“Logan, have a seat,” Magneto said as he took a seat behind his desk.
Logan did a quick sweep of the room, finding it to be occupied with just Magneto and him. Still, he didn’t feel like being close to the man and definitely didn’t feel like sitting with him, as if they were pals. No, he would stand right where he was.
“I’m good,” he said shortly.
Magneto smiled, a small chuckle coming from his mouth. “Suit yourself.”
Logan felt his hairs stand on end as he watched the other man rise and walk towards him. For several seconds, Magneto just stood and stared at him. He was sizing him up, but for what reason? What was Magneto about to do? Logan made himself stand a little taller. He never broke eye contact with the man even though Magneto could crush him in an instant, he would not back down.
“You’ve done well by me, Logan. You’ve kept your word at every turn and the results have been extraordinary. I’ve learned to see you in a whole different light. I mean, what you did for the girl, it’s beyond words.”
Logan didn’t like where this was going. He didn’t want to discuss Marie with this man. Everything within him screamed to protect.
“Never unwavering in your love of her, you’ve gone to extremes that I find myself asking would I be brave enough to do the same.
“Is that why you brought me in here, to talk about her?” Logan asked, his anger rising.
Magneto noticed the animalistic look crossing Logan’s features. Slowly, the man lifted his hands, showing Logan he meant no harm. The fury never died down, he was swimming inside of it. He couldn’t talk about her, not here and not like this. He couldn’t stop the claws from slowly sliding out, relishing in the pain.
“Logan, I need you to calm down and hear me out. I mean no harm,” Magneto said, the whole time his eyes watching the claws as they continued to grow.
“Yeah,” Logan growled. “You mean no harm like on the Statue of Liberty? You mean no harm like how you almost took her away from me, keeping me from reaching her?”
Magneto sighed, all of a sudden looking his age. His eyes were heavy and they drooped, bags filled the space below them. Logan noticed for the first time Magneto did not look as superior as he usually did. To the Wolverine’s dismay, Logan forced himself to calm down. The hardest, safest thing to do was to walk away.
He forced the claws to retract and took a step away from Magneto, his eyes never leaving the man before him. He did not trust him enough to turn his back. It was one thing to allow this man to keep him from Marie, but it was another to have a friendly chat about the woman he loved.
When he was at the door, Logan turned and began to walk out. He heard the man behind him sigh, calling out to him. Logan stopped and turned saying, “I have work to do.”
“That can wait,” Magneto said softly.
Gone was the arrogant man that Logan knew so well. He did not recognize this Magneto. Logan turned fully, staring, waiting.
“Life can be so unfair sometimes, can it not?” Magneto asked.
Logan’s forehead scrunched in confusion. Where was he going with this? Did Magneto really want to have a heart to heart with Logan? He scoffed at the man, not able to hold it back.
“Save it for Mystique,” Logan said as he tried to walk away again only to hear Magneto call to him again.
“You think I’m an evil man, Logan. You have no idea what evil is. I have seen it, lived it!”
Logan stopped, turned and walked back into Magneto’s office. His anger was back and he didn’t care the consequences of letting it take control.
“You don’t think I’ve seen evil? You don’t think I know what a person is capable of? I had my whole entire life ripped from me not once, but twice…the day my memories were taken from me and the day that Rogue was taken from me. I know more about evil than I care to know!” Logan spat.
For Magneto’s part, he never blinked as Logan yelled into his face. He never batted an eye or looked angry that Logan had stood up to him. His face was void of all emotion.
“Over the past few years, I’ve often thought about what my parents would think about the man I’ve become. Would they be proud of me, or would they be ashamed? I find as the months come and go, the question becomes more difficult to answer,” Magneto said, his eyes looking distant.
Logan laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “You’ve lost your mind old man,” he growled.
Magneto just smiled, his blue eyes turning back to Logan. “That has crossed my mind over the pass few hours.”
Logan shook his head, finally ready to end this discussion once and for all. “If you want to clean your soul, do it with someone who gives a fuck!”
“Oh, I think you will give a…fuck if you will shut up for a moment and listen to what I’m trying to tell you,” Magneto said, his voice not rising above a whisper.
Logan reigned in his anger at Magneto telling him to shut up. So, the man wanted to tell him something, fine! Logan would sit through all the bullshit to get to the core of why they were having this discussion in the first place. All the while, he felt he was wasting his time.
“I believed, whole-heartedly, in what I was doing at the Statue of Liberty that night. I believe it’s time for our kind to live in the open and the humans to hide in fear, I will never back down from that.”
There was a pause, as if Magneto was thinking about the words before speaking them.
“But, one thing I have never been able to get past is Rogue.”
At the mention of her name, Logan flinched. To hear her name come out of his mouth was almost too much.
“I only meant to change the course of mutant kind. I wanted all of you to see the bigger picture and she was the only way.”
“She was innocent!” Logan yelled.
“Yes, she was. That is the one thing that has stuck with me all these years. It is the one thing that has broken through my resolve for the good of our people. Rogue was innocent and she was a mutant, the very reason I was doing it for. I’ve tried pushing it out of my head, but it eats away at me like a disease.”
“Where are you going with this,” Logan seethed. He wanted off this topic, off the memory of her dead in his arms.
“I used her the same way I was used in my youth. The Nazis believed to wipe us out would be to the benefit of their kind. I lost everything because of that belief.”
For the first time, Logan saw the pain from that lifetime. He saw Magneto’s pain etched in ever crevice of his face, bursting through his haunted, blue eyes. Some of his anger died away, but not all.
“I can twist it in my mind every way possible, but it all leads back to I did exactly what I have come to hate. I’ve lived with that for four years and with you being here I’ve had to come face to face with that knowledge.”
“You want an apology?” Logan said harshly, regretting it once the words came out.
Magneto smiled, but it never reached his eyes. “An apology? No.”
“Then what?” Logan asked, his patience starting to wane.
“I want to give the opportunity back to her that I never received. I owe her and I am finally starting to realize that now.”
Logan’s heart began to speed up. The unspoken words hung in the air like vapor and Logan desperately wanted to believe that he understood where Magneto was going. Could he even begin to hope?
“What are you saying?” Logan whispered.
With a deep breath, Magneto said, “You have fulfilled your deal with me, Logan. You have done all that I’ve asked and there is nothing more than I can ask of you. What I’m saying is that it is time for you to go home.”
Logan felt as if his whole body lifted from the ground. The wind forced from his body, his head swimming with knowledge of what Magneto had just said. Here, this man that he loathed and had done more harm to him than good was letting him go. He was letting him go home to Marie. Before Magneto could change his mind, or before Logan realized it was a trick, he turned abruptly and sped for the door. He would not need to be told twice.
“One other thing, Logan,” Magneto said, stopping Logan in his tracks. He should have known it was too good to be true. Here came the part where Magneto took it all back. “The debt has been paid with Rogue. The debt has been paid with you. And to Charles, tell him this is my thanks for allowing me all these years with Mystique.”
Again Logan looked confused. Magneto, again, just smiled his knowing smile, the explanation never coming. “From this moment on, I owe nothing to any of you and if you continue to get in my way out there,” he said, pointing towards the window, “I will not hesitate to do what I must. I believe in what I’m trying to build here and I still believe that you people are either with me, or you are against me.”
Logan nodded his head, “I wouldn’t expect it to be any other way, Eric.”
At the mention of his name, Magneto bowed his head once at Logan. It was the first and only time Logan would ever call him by his given name. It would be the first and only time that he would show him any gratitude. For only a moment, it was just one man trying to make amends and another trying to show respect for that decision.
Without another word, Logan turned and ran as fast as he could towards the exit of the cave. Any moment, he expected to wake up, finding this all a dream. It had been so long since he had felt things going his way, so long since he had felt that everything was going to be okay. Long had he felt that the days would get better, only to find himself fallen to his knees in a darkened room at night, reliving every moment without Marie. It was all about to change.
Logan ran out into the sunlight, stopping a moment to feel the cool air on his hot face. The snow fell upon his upturned face and he smiled wide, feeling freedom around him. Finally, he was going home. Finally, he was going back to Marie.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter! I've put a refrence in about X-Men:First Class. If you've seen the movie, see if you can spot it!!
Chapter End Notes:
LOGAN IS GOING HOME!!!!! Review, Review, Review. I know it's a different format and I hope it hasn't been hard to read this chapter. I wrote it on a new computer and for some reason, I don't know how to fix it. I'll figure it out, hopefully, before the next chapter!!! Thanks