Marie sat in the windowsill of the game room, looking out into the snow. In her hand, she held the picture of her and Logan. She had stared at it for hours, tracing his features with her eyes. The jolt was still present, but there was nothing else. She sighed, looking down at it again, begging for her mind to remember something, anything.

During those hours of staring at the picture, Marie played the conversation she had with Jubilation over and over in her head. She had no doubt that the girl was telling her the truth, yet she couldn’t remember how the memory ended.

Would her life always be like this? Would it always be a constant question mark of what she was and who she was? Everyone around her could tell her about her life, but if she didn’t remember for herself, did it really matter? She felt a heaviness fall upon her shoulders and she shut her eyes, sealing off the beauty of the snow.

Marie felt the tears form and she fought against them. Now was not the time for tears. It was time for her to be strong, to overcome what this life had dealt her. She had questions that needed to be answered and a life that she needed to discover again. Tears would bring her no closer to the truth. That’s what her head was telling her, but her heart felt completely different. Her heart wanted to drown in the sorrow that she felt completely smothering her. If there was just something that she could hold on to. Was there something that would pull her out of the drowning sea rising to cover her completely? Marie didn’t feel she had the strength to do it all on her own.

There was a loud bang out in the corridor coming from the entrance to the mansion. Marie whipped her head around, looking towards the hallway from where she sat. There were students frozen in place, their wide eyes staring ahead of them to where Marie couldn’t see. She heard some of them gasp, some of them whimper.

Jubilation came into view, her steps slow and careful. Marie watched the girl’s eyes grow wide, her mouth coming open in shock. It was enough to make her rise from the windowsill and find out what was happening. Marie kept her eyes on Jubilation as she walked slowly towards the game room door. The shock slowly eased from her face, replaced by a brilliant smile. She watched the girl take a deep breath, as if releasing some unseen burden.

“Logan,” Jubilation breathed.

Marie felt the jolt intensify. The picture in her hand almost fell to the floor, but she held it tighter to her. Stealing her nerves, Marie walked out into the hallway.

“Where is sh…” Logan started, his eyes searching the people before him. The sentence died in his throat as Marie stepped into view.

With a deep breath, Marie looked up at the stranger before her. He was staring at her, standing as still as a statue. For the first time, Marie was able to get a good look at the real Logan, not just a picture of him. The night in the park had been too dark to really study him, but now in the light of the mansion, she was able to look at him fully. Marie had to admit, he was handsome in a sort of rugged way, but his smile, which had made an appearance, was like the sun shining through a darkened window.

“Hello,” Marie said in a low voice.

She felt the need to speak for reasons she didn’t know. Maybe it was to break the silence that was eating away at her.

“Well, there’s nothing to see here people, let’s keep walking,” Jubilation said beside her.

The students began to continue their walk to where they were headed before Logan burst through the doors. Some of them looked disappointed that they couldn’t stay and see how the scene would play out and Marie reminded herself to thank Jubilation later for clearing the hallway.

“Good to see you, Logan,” Jubilation said as she passed him.

Without look away from Marie, he grunted his response. The seconds past and silence fell upon them again. It wasn’t an uncomfortable, but Marie wished he would say something, anything. As if he heard her wish, Logan’s mouth came opened to speak, but someone walked out into the hallway. Marie’s view of Logan was obscured by Scott, who stood in between her and Logan. She felt this was not an accident, as if he wanted to shield her somehow.

“Logan, what are you doing here?” Scott asked in a controlled voice.

Marie peered around Scott’s back and looked towards Logan. She was surprised to see his smile gone and anger filling his hazel eyes. Those eyes were pointed directly at Scott.

“What do you thing, I’m home,” Logan growled.

“What, he just let you go? I doubt it,” Scott shot back.

Logan took a step towards Scott, his anger barely under control. Marie could feel it coming off of him in waves and she began to feel scared.

“I don’t answer to you, Scooter. Get out of the way,” Logan seethed.

“You think I’m going to just let you walk back in here, as if the last few months haven’t happened? As if you didn’t abandon us?” Scott spat.

Again, Logan took a step towards Scott and Marie. She began to hear a ripping noise and with a small gasp she noticed something coming out of his knuckles. Immediately, she was sent back into her memory at the moment those things on his hands ripped through her chest. On instinct, her hands came to her chest, her breathing speed up. Scott never backed down, but reached for his visor.

“That’s enough!” came a voice to Logan’s left.

They turned to see Xavier rolling into view. Behind him, Jean looked at the scene with concerned eyes, watching her husband and Logan in a standoff. Marie looked from one to another, her chest rising and falling in swift movements.

“In my office…now!” Xavier said, giving no room for argument.

“I’m not going anywhere, Chuck. I need to talk to her,” Logan said, his fury still palpable.

Marie knew Logan was talking about her. Did she want to talk to him? Right now, he had her pretty freaked out.

“There will be time for that, Logan, but right now, we all need to discuss this situation.”

Logan didn’t move at first, his eyes staring hard at Xavier. Scott stood firmly in front of Marie, showing no signs of moving either. Xavier came to stop between the two men, looking from one to the other. Marie could do nothing but watch the whole situation play out, her gut telling her something bad could happen at any moment. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Please, Logan. All I ask is for a few moments to discuss this latest development then, if Rogue agrees, you may talk to her,” Xavier said quietly.

Logan’s head rose slowly towards Marie, his hazel eyes boring into her again. “Will you wait for me?” he asked.

Marie looked around her, cutting their connection. All eyes were on her, waiting for her reply. She had a choice here. She could refuse to talk to him, refuse to have anything to do with him and it occurred to her that he, as well as the rest, was giving her that choice. She would be lying if she said that it didn’t surprise her that he wasn’t going to demand that she listen to him. Did she want to talk to him though?

Something scratched the inside of her palm and Marie looked down quickly, forgetting that she held the picture of the two of them. Not caring that everyone was still looking at her waiting for her reply, she stared at the picture. She stared at the smiling faces of two people she didn’t recognize, yet they looked so happy. She looked so happy. Whether she could remember or not, the picture showed this man, Logan, was someone important to her.

Slowly, she looked back up at him, her mouth coming open to speak, “Yes.”

“Good,” he breathed.

With that, everyone but Marie turned and went to the direction of Xavier’s office. She watched them go, her attention on the retreating back of Logan. As he reached Xavier’s door, he turned towards her. Their eyes met for a moment, Marie felt the jolt so strong it almost knocked her over. If Logan noticed, he never showed. Without another word, he disappeared behind the door leaving Marie standing in the middle of the empty hallway, her hand coming to rest lightly on her beating chest.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Xavier sat behind his desk, Logan at the corner window overlooking the grounds. Scott, Jean and Storm stood before Xavier’s desk.

“Can I offer anyone anything to drink?” Xavier asked.

Everyone, in one quick motion said no. With a hint of a smile, Xavier began to make himself a cup of hot tea. The silence grew thick as he took his time adding small blocks of sugar. Logan started to feel agitated as the seconds passed. Instead of standing here he could be with Marie. It had been so long since she had been near him but instead, he was stuck in her for God only knew why.

“Good to see you again, Logan. I cannot help but to be surprised that you’re here,” Xavier said, turning to face him with his cup of tea in hand.

“Looks like you’ll be seeing a lot more of me now, Chuck,” Logan mumbled.

Scott scoffed, his hands coming to rest on his hips, “You really expect us to be so stupid as to believe that Magneto just let you go, just let you walk out? Last time I checked, the man wasn’t into charity work.”

“I really don’t give a flying fuck what you think, Scooter. You gotta problem with it, I’ll show you were the man lives, you can go talk to him yourself, or you can shut the fuck up!” Logan growled.

Scott took a step towards Logan but was stopped by Jean’s hand on his arm. The woman’s face looked at her husband worriedly.

“You know what I don’t give a fuck about, Logan? You walking in here after three months that she’s been home. While you were doing God knows what for Magneto, we’ve been here picking up the pieces. I’ve been trying to do the job you should have been here doing!” Scott roared.

That was the wrong thing to say. Logan felt the Wolverine come out and he could no more stop him than he could his love for Marie. With quick movements, he lunged for the younger man, his Adamantium claws stretching out before him. A loud roar feel from his lips. He was stopped just short of Scott’s chest. He hung in midair, as if invisible strings held him from the ceiling. It did not seem to quench the anger within him.

“Let’s not forget why she was taken in the first place, motherfucker,” he said through gritted teeth.

Scott’s face turned beet red as his anger began to match Logan’s. His hands shot towards his visor, but stopped just short. He began to fight against the invisible barrier, but was unsuccessful. The eyes behind the visor stared towards his wife’s outstretched hand. One hand was held towards Logan while the other was held towards him.

“Both of you need to calm down…now!” she said in a controlled voice.

“Jean is right. I expect order in my office and whatever is going on between you two put it to an end. This is about Rogue and whatever animosity there is between the two of you pales in comparison to helping that lost girl!” Xavier said angrily.

Logan and Scott looked at each other, their anger still evident. Slowly, they both nodded their heads. For the time being, they would let their anger at each other take a back seat to what was really important at that moment. The claws disappeared behind Logan’s skin and jean slowly released her hold on him. He stood on legs again, turning his back on everyone to calm the beast within. Scott’s hand came to rest at his side, his chest heaving a deep sigh.

“That’s better,” Xavier started. “Logan, please tell us how you’ve come back home?”

At first, Logan didn’t know how to explain. The conversation between him and Magneto felt private, like it was meant to be just between them. Not that he was a big Magneto fan or anything, but a part of him began to respect him afterwards.

“We came to an understanding,” Logan said.

The five people in the room stared, not saying a word as if they waited for him to go on. Logan switched his weight form one leg to another, feeling uncomfortable as the seconds ticked on.

“An understanding,” Xavier said.

Logan rolled his eyes, “Look, what was said is between us. All I will say is that the man let me go home.” Logan looked at Xavier, wanting the man to understand his next words, because Logan still didn’t understand them himself.

“He wanted me to tell you to look at this as a thank you for letting Mystique go to him.”

Logan watched as understanding and sadness filled Xavier’s eyes. His eyes grew distant, as if reliving a long forgotten memory.

“I understand,” Xavier said with a small smile that never reached his eyes. The man looked around at the others, his eyes searching their faces. “It looks like all of our family is home once again.”

Jean and Storm gave a smile of their own, but Scott’s face never moved. It was a stone of void emotions. His eyes could not be seen through the visor, but Logan could feel them staring at him.

“Welcome home, Logan,” Xavier said as he extended his hand out.

Logan looked down at it, feeling Xavier’s words sinking in. Finally, after months he was home. After months Marie was home. He reached out, taking Xavier’s hand in his and giving it a shake. It was enough for everyone to understand that there would be no discussing if Logan was welcomed back or not. Xavier just gave his stamp of approval.

Jean and Storm were next to wrap their arms around him gently, welcoming him back. He gave them a soft smile, grunting in response to their show of emotion. Logan watched, a little apprehensive, as Scott walked towards him. His instincts were telling him to defend himself, but he fought against it. The leader of the X-Men stood before him, his body rigid, but he stretched his hand out to Logan anyway. Logan didn’t move to take it at first as shock overtook him. Soon, the shock passed and Logan reached for the man’s hand. It was short lived, but it was enough to get the point across. For now, their problems were not important.

“Now that we have that settled, we must discuss Rogue,” Xavier said after Scott walked away form Logan and back to his wife.

“I want to know everything. What she has remembered, if anything. What I can do to help,” Logan said.

The look that passed through the room was not lost on Logan. “Everything,” he repeated.

It was jean that looked at him first, her eyes held sadness and pain. “Logan, maybe that isn’t such a good idea,” she said quietly.

“If I’m to help her, I have to know all that you do. Otherwise, I’ll look like an outsider compared to everyone else. I know I haven’t been around, she knows that too. If I go out there blindly and she tells me something that I didn’t know how am I going to gain her trust?” he said.

“He’s right,” Xavier chimed in.

Jean and Xavier exchanged glances and with a nod of his head, Jean spoke, “Then let’s start at the beginning. Logan, I need you to follow me down to the med-lab.”

Without thought, Logan agreed. He followed the red head towards the door, only later would he wish that he could go back to this point. Only later would he have wished to stay in the dark about some things that had to do with Marie.

Marie was still standing outside in the hall. As she as she heard the door open, her head popped up, searching the faces that appeared. Logan watched her, seeing how nervous she looked. It was a look that was foreign on her. Never before had she been nervous when he was present, but here she stood watching them with big, doe-like eyes. Jean passed her, giving her a warm smile and a light pat on the arm.

“We’re going down to the med-lab for a bit, Rogue. We will be done soon,” she said softly.

“I don’t want to go down there.” Logan’s heart sank when he heard the fear in her voice. All he wanted to do was to go to her and wrap his arms around her. He would hold her, never to let her be scared again. He forced himself still, waiting on Jean to console her. It wasn’t his time yet.

“You don’t have to go, sweetie. It’s just going to be us,” Jean said, pointing to Logan and the others.

In an instant, Marie looked relieved. She closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. Jean turned, heading towards the elevator. Logan came to within a few feet of Marie. She turned and looked up at him. There was no recognition in her eyes, nor was there fear. Instead of dwelling on the first part, he would hold on to her not fearing him.

“I’ll be back shortly, okay?” he asked her.

She nodded her head, “Okay.”

With that, he made himself turn away from her, walking towards Jean who was holding the elevator door open for the rest of them. He heard Xavier saying something in a low voice to Marie, but he didn’t wait to hear what it was. He wanted this over with so he could spend the rest of the time with her. He wished he didn’t have to do this, but he needed to know it all as to help her. He needed to know what she had been through to understand where to start. He just hoped it didn’t break him in the process.

The elevator ride seemed as though it took a lifetime. Logan wondered if it would ever stop and the doors open. He hated coming down here, but he knew that he must. The smells and sounds were enough to drive the Wolverine insane. He stilled himself as he heard the ding of the bell notifying them that they had made it to their destination.

The doors opened and they went straight for Jean’s office. The hairs on the back of his head stood on end, his skin crawling. It reminded him so much of the nightmares. It reminded him of the men standing above him celebrating his pain. Again, he felt the need to flee, but he squashed it, holding on to just Marie’s face in his mind. He could do this…for her.

Logan chose to remain at the doorway as everyone settled themselves into Jean’s office. Her desk sat before them, immaculate as always. She began opening the bottom drawer, bringing out a thick manila folder. Logan could make out Marie’s name on the front. He knew at once that this was her medical records. Jean turned her back on them, flipping on a switch to the lighted view box. He watched her put three X-rays in front of the light.

“I took these the night that Rogue was found. The first one, “she said, pointing at the X-ray, “is of her ribs. See these?”

Logan looked to where she was pointing. At first he didn’t see anything but bone, but the harder he looked the more it came into focus.

“They’re broken,” he whispered.

Jean nodded her head. “Four breaks, right here, here, here and here.” Each time she pointed to them, Logan felt as if she were pounding her fist into his chest. “We can only guess as to what caused it, but I think our guess would be right,” she said in a low voice.

Logan didn’t need her to explain. He knew very well what had caused those breaks. Marie had been beaten, his very gut knew that. He felt his rage taking over, begging for release.

“This one is of her right arm. It was broken in two places, right here and here. Luckily, it wasn’t bad breaks and she healed pretty quickly.”

Again, another punch landed in Logan’s chest. They had broken those precious bones that he valued above his own Adamantium-covered ones. He wanted to scream now. He wanted to sink his claws into something until it felt the paint hat he did at that moment.

“T-the third one…,” Logan looked up as Jean stared at the X-ray. Tears formed in the red-headed doctor’s eyes. Her hand came to rest on her mouth, as if to stop a sob. Logan looked around the room and saw somber faces. Scott’s jaw was so tense he thought it would break at any moment. Storm was having a problem keeping her face from crumbling. Xavier looked as though he might cry as well.

“What are you not telling me?” Logan blurted out. A part of him screamed that he didn’t want to know.

Jean cleared her throat, trying to recover her runaway emotions. He watched the woman be replaced by the doctor, cutting herself of from the emotions. “The last X-ray is one that worries us the most. When I studied it, I wanted to make sure so I did an oral exam on Rogue myself while she was unconscious.” Her voice trailed away, as if caught in the first stages of a sob.

“What is it?” Logan growled, his anger was coming back at the thought of them keeping something about Marie from him. He stared at the x-ray, trying his best to identify the part of the body. It looked familiar and he knew he would recognize it if he kept looking. Seconds passed by and Jean didn’t answer him, but he was so caught up in staring that he didn’t seem to notice her absent reply. Luckily, he didn’t see any breaks, but what caught his attention was the scaring. In three different places, he could see scar tissue.

If the earth would have shifted at that moment, Logan would not have felt it. The knowledge of what he was staring at cam in like a silent wind. He felt his entire body lose all strength. His arms felt like heavy weights and his legs felt like jelly.

“No,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t sure, Logan. I did the oral exam on her and…and that’s when I felt the damage,” Jean said, the tears now falling from her eyes.

“They raped her,” Logan growled and sobbed all at once.

It was enough to destroy the man within him, giving way to the beast that saw only the pain and infliction that had been thrust upon Marie. The people on the room with him disappeared, surrounding him with faceless shadows. With a roar, Logan leaped forward grabbing the first thing he touched, which was Jean’s desk. With a gut-wrenching roar, he picked the desk up, turning it over on it’s side. He did not see Jean move just in time to keep from being in the desk’s path, nor did he hear Xavier’s scream for him to calm down.

In his mind the only thing Logan saw was those bastards on top of Marie. All he could hear was her screaming his name, screaming for him to help her. All he could see was tiny hands trying to shove the men off of her. Had she blamed him for not being there to help her? Had she screamed for him until her voice was completely gone? It was too much.

Next, Logan grabbed Jean’s cabinets, crushing them to the floor. Tears of rage fell from his eyes. He wanted to hurt something, anything. He felt someone grab him from behind and with one swift movement, that person went flying towards the wall. The breath being knocked out of them swirled through the room, but it did nothing to penetrate through his rage.

The x-ray’s came into Logan’s view and he cried out with such anguish. He had to get away from them, had to get away from the reminder of what he wasn’t able to stop. He had always known that he had let Marie down, but never this much, never this bad.

He stumbled out into the cold hallway, as if the room was on fire. His body it the far wall, the handrails punching him in the side causing pain he should have felt, but he felt nothing other than his failure to protect her. His hands grabbed the handrails as his legs slid out from under him. His breathing was coming out fast and hard, tears slid down his reddened face. His hold tightened on the handrails, the sound of wood breaking lit up the silent hallway.

“Logan, listen to him,” Xavier said behind him.

“Oh God, Xavier,” Logan cried through his torment.

“I know this information is horrible to hear. Believe me, the first time Jean told me, I felt lost and in agony that one of my own had suffered this. She didn’t deserve this, Logan. She didn’t deserve anything they did to her, but Logan, Rogue does not remember a thing. She does not remember what happened to her therefore, she doesn’t remember the rapes.”

Logan howled as he heard Xavier use rape in the plural sense. He was no fool to believe that they had only raped her once, but to hear it was more than he could bear.

“She doesn’t’ remember?” Logan whispered.

“No. We have asked her in ways that would not give any hint as to what has happened and she has not shown any signs that she remembers a thing. Logan, at this stage, it is very important that she not know. Rogue is too fragile to begin to deal with something on this level. We have had to deal with this and put it aside, as inhumane as that sounds of us, she is not ready to know.”

“I can’t just put it aside, Chuck!” Logan screamed.

“You have to, Logan. If you do not, you could cause more damage than what has already been done to the girl,” Xavier shot back.

Logan jumped to his feet turning his enraged eyes on the man sitting before him. “I would never hurt her like that! You know this,” he seethed.

Xavier raised his hands, trying to calm the beast inside Logan. “I am not saying that. I would never believe that you would hurt Rogue. I have seen everything you have done for the girl, but you must understand that if you let this slip out, we will lose her forever.”

The rage began to seep away. Through the fog in his mind, Logan understood what Xavier was trying to say. Marie was in a fragile state and this information would throw her over the edge. He would do anything to protect her, even if that meant protecting her from the truth. Logan bent down, holding his wet face in his hands. He had lost control of the Wolverine, but now he was gaining that control back. He felt a light touch on his head as Xavier laid his hand on his head comforting him.

“I should have been there,” Logan said through his hands.

“It’s not your fault, Logan,” Xavier whispered.

Logan wasn’t’ so sure about that. He had allowed this to happen. He had allowed Marie to join the X-Men after his gut told him to fight it. He had allowed Marie to go on that mission after his gut had told him to stop her from going. He had allowed her to be separated from him inside the government facility after his gut told him to grab her and tie her to him. Everything was pointing a finger at him, mocking him that this was his fault and Marie had paid a horrible price.

“I have not had the slightest clue on how to help Rogue. But, with you back, Logan, I feel you are our only hope in getting Rouge back.”

Logan looked up at Xavier, his eyes pleading with the man to tell him how to do that. He screamed inside his mind, knowing Xavier could hear him. How was he supposed to help her? How was he supposed to reach her when she couldn’t even remember who he was?

“You help to remind her of who you are and how much you love her. If you do that, the rest will fall into place,” Xavier answered his unspoken questions.

“And if it doesn’t?” Logan whispered.

“Then, we will learn to love the woman she is now. If Rogue never gets her memory back, then we will love her for who she will become. Logan, for now you must put this aside. We have a lot more to go over with you and she is waiting for you. Before you go up to her, I must ask that you put yourself back together. I-I don’t mean to sound so hard, but we must do what we must for the time being. She is counting on all of us,” Xavier said.

For a moment, Logan stayed where he was. In his mind, he did not know how to put everything he knew so far out of his mind. It was enough to drive him insane. But, the more he looked at Xavier’s eyes he knew there was no other choice. In the daylight, in front of Marie, he had to put on a brave face for her, but he knew his nights would still be filled with the torture of his failure.

With a shaky breath, he stood to his feet, nodding his head slowly at Xavier. The man let out a small breath of his own and turned back towards Jean’s office. Logan stood, looking at the damage done to her office and he knew that he owed her an apology and the person that he knocked against the wall. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly who that person was go to be and he grit his teeth. So far, his first day back had been far worse than he thought.