The door to their dorm didn’t open till two o’clock am. Logan tried to sneak in as quiet as possible through the silence. He didn’t turn on the light. He didn’t need to. He could see more than enough. He tried to listen but he heard nothing, and assumed that she was already asleep. But he smelled the tears. It was something that he had come home to many times.
In pure darkness, he pulled off his shirt and shoes, lifting the covers and crawling into the bed trying not to make a disturbance. He was only halfway in when he realized something. He reached over and patted the bed beside him. The covers were unturned and empty. She wasn’t there.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and got up, finally turning on the light in their bedroom to look around. There was nothing and no one in the room. He walked back through the other entrance, where there was another room with a couch and a fireplace. His gaze turned to the little light on the bathroom door. There was no light on inside there but he checked anyways.
He opened the door slowly. Darkness. A faint smell of vanilla and tears mixed together with a touch of peaches and water. He dimmed down the light before he turned it on so that it wasn’t on full blast. In the little light, he looked over and saw the bathtub with the curtains drawn covering it. He sighed and pulled them back.
Rogue was laying there, eyes open, her black jeans clinging to her legs and her black tank top hugging closely against her. Despite how incredibly sad her eyes were, she still had that strange sense of sexy appeal he loved. He took a deep breath and sat down beside the tub till he was eye level with her. She still wouldn’t look at him.
Fully clothed in the bathtub. Not a good sign. “You better not be that wet because of tears.” He murmured slowly, trying to soften his voice. “Because I swear, someone’s gonna get a beating if that’s the case.”
He heard her exhale. He wasn’t helping, obviously. He reached out and lifted her only slightly so that he could slip in beside her, with her leaning against his chest. But she was rigid. Her creamy skin cold and clammy from the water. Her hair was wet too, but smelled strongly of peaches. Must be the new shampoo.
He wrapped her arms around her and she finally gave in and turned so that she was resting her head against his shoulder on the inside of his neck. “What happened?” he asked after a while of just laying there.
Rogue took a deep breath, beginning to feel a little warmer now that he was there with her. “I...” she paused, unsure if she should tell him, but decided to. “I overheard some of the girls talking.” She murmured, trying not to let her own words affect her. She didn’t want to get emotional while she talked about this. “I don’t think they like me much.”
“Bullshit.” Logan muttered, his arms tightening comfortingly around her. “Who was saying this?”
She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Matters to me.” He disagreed.
“What’re you gonna do Logan?” she said slowly. “Hit a girl? They gossip. It’s normal. I just wish it was easier to hide from me.”
He sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to tell him who it was. “What did they say?”
Rogue’s teeth clenched together and she tried to remember the wording. “About us or me?”
“Both.” He growled.
She sighed. “Just talked about us fighting. How long we’ll last.” She paused. “How long you’ll put up with me for.” She pushed past that immediately, not wanting to think about it. “And about how I don’t really... talk to anyone else.”
He leaned his head back against the cold wall, feeling the water on her clothing soaking through his. He flexed his fingers, not wanting to let his claws come out. It used to be so easy to stop. He never realized how touchy he was about people back talking Rogue.
“We both know you stay out of people’s way for a good reason.” He muttered. “You can start getting to know everyone when you’re ready.”
“Maybe I’m taking too long.” She whispered pressing her face against his warm neck and closing her eyes, trying to stop the tears. “I can’t hide from them forever.”
“Who in the hell said you were hiding?” he grunted. “Look, we both knew that this would take some time. Don’t let people get to yah Marie.”
She sucked in a deep breath and nodded into him. “You’re right... but they’re scared of me.”
“They damn well should be.” He muttered angrily, frustration leaking through into his dark tone.
“I don’t want people to be afraid of me Logan.” She whispered, lifting her head only slightly so that she could look into his eyes. “No one likes to be scared.”
He nodded as he looked at her, there was barely any light on her face, but her hair was messy from the water, different strands spread out around her face like she was sporting a crazy new style. He smiled at her, there was a small amount of black makeup that dripped down under her eyes from the tears, and her cheeks were red as hell from the crying and change of body temperature. He smiled at her, and gently rubbed one hand against her cheek and past her ear.
He knew what it was like, to have someone be afraid of you. It wasn’t a nice feeling. It made you feel evil, dark, threatening, cruel and horrifying. But most of all, it made you feel powerful. It was not something to be desired unless you wanted that control over the people around you. That was the only reason that Rogue had been able to join the X-men. Because she didn’t want to be feared. She didn’t want to be corrupted by the power over the weak.
Logan leaned in an kissed her forehead gently, understanding what she was going through. He hugged her closer to him, pulling her up. “I love you.” He whispered to her. He acted as though those three words would make everything better for her. As though nothing else but that mattered. She smiled against his chest. The thing was?
He was right.
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