Her window faced the back gardens and what lay beyond them, areas that were never flooded with artificial light because of Ororo's insistence that the flowers and trees should not have their natural pattern of light and dark broken by human intervention. Only the moon, a pale waning crescent, sent its light down to caress the ground softly that night. As she gazed out the window, she could see the bright stars clustered together. She picked out constellations which she had learned of years before, barely remembered. The Big Dipper, Orion, Auriga, Gemini, and Cassiopeia. All representing something special to people throughout the ages, even if most people didn't know their names in these modern times.
Rogue glanced over at the clock on her desk. Its blue digits cried out the time. 7:58. So early in the evening. Yet she knew that she had to do what she wanted soon, or she'd lose the nerve. It was so hard to even think of it.
She took a deep breath and looked back out to the stars. It'd been three months and the pain was still fresh. It hurt to think of him, so strong and such a presence in her mind for too long. She knew how he thought, how he moved, his thoughts and his feelings. But she couldn't have predicted what happened. She wasn't sure if anyone could have.
Rogue stood and went to look at herself in the full length mirror which was on the back of her closet door. The reflection it revealed to her was the same as it had been for as long as she could remember, bar a few minor changes. The shirt covering her torso was tighter than she might have worn half a year ago, made of material she hadn't even known existed years ago, thin and silky and not at all appropriate for going outside with the current 21degree temperature which the onset of winter brought them. Her jeans looked as if they could probably have been painted on and the results would have been the same. Her hair was short, the ends at level with her chin, and the front was twisted back so that the white strands mixed with the brown. Her eyes were lined lightly with green eyeliner and her lips were touched up with a dark reddish lipstick, a look that was too usual for her now. She admitted to herself that she actually looked older because of the make-up and the more daring clothes, but it didn't seem like her. Probably because it wasn't who she had been, and she wasn't used to who she had become.
'You didn't want to be you,' she told herself wryly. She had changed her image abruptly one day three months ago. Most of the way she dressed and looked now was courtesy of her best friend, Jubilee, who was now off at college.
She supposed she could have joined Jubilee. It wasn't as if she was a threat to humanity anymore. The fact that she wasn't wearing the gloves and scarf that had been her trademark around the school attested to that. No, they'd found the key to controlling her powers at the same time that her life had fallen apart and the man she'd been sure she loved had left, leaving her to pick up the broken pieces and start over.
"Damn him," Rogue whispered softly, glaring at a crumpled ball of metal lying on her desk. The only reminder of him which she had kept, no longer as it used to be. Just like her.
'No time for this,' she told herself as she saw the clock in the mirror. It read 8:01.
"It's now or never," she said to her reflection, trying to sound confident.
She headed for the door to her bedroom, her knees feeling a little weak. She took a deep breath and laid her hand on the brass doorknob. She hesitated only minute before twisting it and pulling the door slowly open.
The hallway was empty. Not surprising, since there were currently only three people occupying the eight rooms that opened into it. Ororo was probably with the Professor and the students in the rec room. The third person was in his room, she knew, maybe grading papers or just sitting and thinking--well, brooding. He did that a lot lately.
'Just two feet, Roguey. You only need to go two feet. You can make it,' she reassured herself, borrowing Jubilee's voice even though she'd never had her in her mind. She once shared a room with the girl, and that was enough.
She stopped in front of his door and her breath caught a little. Her mind was suddenly screaming at her that she need time to think, time to decide if this was really the right thing to do. Then she straightened her shoulders and, ignoring that inner screaming, lifted a trembling hand to knock three times on the door.
"Come in." He sounded tired, even muffled by the thick wooden door.
Rogue pushed it open and stood there in the doorway, unable to take the final step into his room and out of her old life. He was lounging on his bed, a leather-bound book in one hand. He turned to look in her direction, and the harsh lines of his face softened when he saw who was interrupting his solitude.
"Rogue. I wasn’t sure you’d be here tonight." His voice was low.
"Scott, Ah..." Rogue stopped and licked her dry lips. "Could you...hold me? Please?" she asked, and her voice broke a little with something that was a mixture of tears and hope.
He put the book down on the bed and stood up. Walking over to her, Scott took her bare hand and pulled her into his room, closing the door when she was inside. His heart leaped in his chest when Rogue looked up at him. His eyes roamed over the smooth planes of her face, the dark pools that were her eyes to him. And her lips, lines soft and full.
"I told you I'd always be here, Rogue. I meant it," Scott told her quietly. He pulled her into his arms and paused, tensing to wait for her reaction.
But Rogue just wrapped her arms around his neck, knowing that this was right. No matter what had happened in their lives, no matter what might happen next, this moment they were being true to themselves. And that was all that mattered to her. Damn the voices in her head, anyway. When had they ever given her good advice outside of a combat situation?
Scott's mouth descended to hers, and it wasn't the gentle kiss which she'd expected. Instead, his lips were hungry, possessive, demanding that she give the same in return.
'Yes,' was her only thought as the heat flared between them.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Story Notes:
So this is a story that I started a while ago. Like, six or seven years ago. I really wanted to ignore it. Really I did. Then something inside of me said, "No, just post it and see what happens."
WARNING: If you don't like the idea of Logan leaving Rogue for Jean, or Rogue and Scott finding solace together, probably not a good fic. YES, it does turn out Rogan in the end. I think. At least, that's my intention. We'll see as we go along, huh? At the very least, this is gonna get angsty. Disclaimer: Not mine. They're just playing in my sandbox. I think I hear screams that they want to get out, but I'm holding them hostage until I get a movie with a better Rogue in it. Preferably a Rogue movie. Yeah, I like that.
WARNING: If you don't like the idea of Logan leaving Rogue for Jean, or Rogue and Scott finding solace together, probably not a good fic. YES, it does turn out Rogan in the end. I think. At least, that's my intention. We'll see as we go along, huh? At the very least, this is gonna get angsty. Disclaimer: Not mine. They're just playing in my sandbox. I think I hear screams that they want to get out, but I'm holding them hostage until I get a movie with a better Rogue in it. Preferably a Rogue movie. Yeah, I like that.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm honestly worried about being stoned over this one. Please don't hurt me. I'll throw the plot bunny to you, and you can torture it instead, okay?
Chapter End Notes:
Okay, yes, I know. I know. I want to make it better. I really will try. Eventually. Let me know what you think!