The gym was very quiet. The group of fifteen young mutants looking back and forth from one side of the large open room to the other almost reeked of anxiety.
Obviously, Rogue hadn’t hidden her hostility towards Logan nearly as well as she thought she had, since it was apparent to her that her students were expecting a knock-down-drag-out fight to erupt any moment, pregnancy or no pregnancy. Granted, it probably didn’t help that currently she was attempting to channel Scott’s mutation while glaring at the back of Logan’s head as he sparred individually with her best student, Nate. Her clenched fists and the anger practically radiating from her probably didn’t help, either.
Rogue tried to remember why it was important to remain calm during her pregnancy. It had something to do with the baby, she was sure, but just then she wanted to take that big idiot across the room and slam him into the wall. Instead, she watched as Logan and Nate exchanged blows. Their form was fantastic, which made Rogue even more upset somehow. She didn’t want Nate to do well against Logan, and it took her a minute to realize that she felt that way because she was pouting over not being able to fight herself. With that realization, Rogue shook her head a little to clear it and tried to smooth the frown from her face, willing her hands to unclench. After all, if that wasn’t one of the stupidest things she’d ever heard of, and she heard a lot in the mansion sometimes, then Rogue wasn’t a Southern girl.
Finally Logan managed to pin Nate. If Rogue was being honest, she would admit that he probably could have managed it about ten seconds into the fight, but the point was to train the students how to react, not beat them into the ground. She had to give Logan props for drawing the fight out and showing Nate the correct ways to counter his attacks without being unnecessarily violent. Rogue was a little surprised that he managed it, actually.
“Good job, Nate,” she said, focusing her eyes only on her student. “Now, you all saw how Logan and Nate defended against each other in that fight, right? I want you to pair off and practice hand-to-hand together. Try some of the moves they did, and don’t be surprised when you land on your face a few times,” Rogue added with a tight smile. Her students grinned hesitantly back and obeyed, spreading out on the mats surrounding them.
Nate went to the wall to grab his water bottle, but Logan sauntered over until he was barely a foot away from Rogue.
“Still think this was a bad idea, Rogue?” he asked smugly.
Rogue’s anger sprang back into full force. “Ah’m not going to admit defeat just because you managed to show Nate a few tricks. Ah still think that Ah can run my own damn class perfectly well on by myself, and Ah especially don’t need any help from you,” she ground out as quietly as possible.
Logan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, maybe, but look how much easier it will be on you with me here,” he said with a smirk.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that ‘easy’ isn’t always better?” Rogue asked spitefully.
The flash of pain in Logan’s eyes should have made her happy, but instead she felt as if her mouth was coated in dust, fuzzy and very dry as she tried to swallow.
Without waiting for a reply from Logan, she spun on her heel and marched over to one pair of students, explaining to them why one was cross-eyed on the ground while the other had fallen to one knee with her other leg painfully twisted behind her. Rogue absently rubbed her slightly-protruding stomach as she talked as if to reassure herself. By the time she dared a look over her shoulder at Logan, he had put as much distance between them as possible, helping another pair of students who were struggling. Rogue quickly looked back to the two youngsters in front of her as they pulled themselves painfully back into vertical positions.
Logan kept himself busy for the rest of the class, careful not to look in Rogue’s direction. She was right when she said that easy wasn’t better. He had taken the easy way when he had sex with Jean, and look what happened to them all. He lost Rogue to Scott, even if it was just for a little while. She was having another man’s baby, and there was nothing he could do about it. Logan fought back the wave of despair and rage that thought brought, trying to concentrate on the students he was supposed to be helping.
By the time the class was over, Logan was more than happy to take a break. Rogue’s next combat class wasn’t for another hour, so he followed the children out without saying anything to her. His determination to break down the walls between them was shaken, and he knew he needed a chance to strengthen his resolve, even though he wasn’t sure he deserved a happy outcome to the whole situation just then.
Would it be better if he just left? That thought ran through his mind as Logan pulled a beer out of the refrigerator and leaned against the kitchen counter. Bottle in hand but mostly forgotten, he stared blindly at the wall across from him and frowned.
“Are you going to drink that, Logan?” the amused voice of his teammate came to him from the shadows of the kitchen to his left.
The fact that he hadn’t noticed Ororo sitting at the table in the corner when he entered the kitchen, not even by smell, spoke to how distracted Logan was. He stared at her in surprise for a few moments before shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. Popping the cap off his beer, he strode over to the table and settled across from the white haired woman, avoiding her dark eyes as best he could.
They sat in silence, Logan slowly drinking his beer while Ororo finished off the sandwich she was eating. Finally, when Logan thought she was about to simply stand up and walk away, Ororo spoke again.
“You know, Logan, none of us can change the past. We can only move forward, one step at a time, and sometimes we are required to make up for mistakes we have made. There is no shame in making amends,” she said quietly.
Logan finally met Ororo’s eyes. “But what if the person you want to forgive you is determined not to? How can you convince them that you won’t hurt them again?” he asked, not even pretending that he didn’t know what she was talking about. They had developed a working relationship of sorts. He trusted her the way he didn’t trust many people, to watch his back. Logan knew she was disappointed with what had happened between him and Jean, but she had always seemed the least angry out of anyone at the mansion after the incident. She had even called several times to check up on the exiles while they were staying at that stupid ranch.
Ororo’s eyes were sad as she said, “You just have to be persistent and show how badly you feel about what happened. Don’t give up if it really matters that much to you.”
Logan nodded slowly. “Yeah, it does. She does. I never should have…” he couldn’t finish.
Ororo rose and moved to stand beside him. She placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing briefly. “I know. I truly believe that this matter will resolve itself in time. My good wishes are with you both,” she told him softly before moving to put her plate in the dishwasher and leaving the kitchen.
Logan sat silently at the table for a few more minutes. Then he stood, threw his unfinished bottle of beer into the trash and left, his steps purposeful once more.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
So think I've begun to feel sorry enough for Logan now. Sort of.
Chapter End Notes:
So how did you like it?