Our next trip to the grocery store was far easier to endure. More so, was because as the cashier named Barbara smiled at me with that “you two are cute” look in her eyes, Logan simply took my hand, twining my fingers through his and glanced at me only to wink. There was a strong part of me that knew it was wrong, and being a part of anything that involved cheating was awful of me.
But the other part of me, simply didn’t care.
Logan also knew it was wrong. He knew that he wasn’t going to win the best fiancé award and he knew the possible outcome of his actions. But hey, when did the big bad Wolverine claim to be nice? The one thing that crept into my mind, was the fact I knew that his guilt would be far worse than my own. I was betraying a friend. But he was betraying a woman he had promised his heart to.
I was always in the strict ‘no cheating’ policy. But somehow, all I could think of was how Jean had cheated on Scott. How on earth could she blame Logan? I refused to acknowledge that this didn’t justify our actions. But, I wasn’t going to waste my time away feeling regretful of something I very well still wanted.
It was when he showed any affection in front of others that it surprised me most. I suppose, I expected him not to. But he chuckled mercilessly as I blushed under his touch. The slightest and most brief contact could make me shiver with delight.
We wandered the town, coming across a local bookstore. He insisted upon going inside, saying something about how he needed a Sherlock Holmes book. I leaned against the shelf beside him as he kneeled down, his eyes scanning over the spines of the many novels on that shelf.
I glanced around the book store. It was small but had an upper loft with a couple more shelves of books. Leading up to it was a steel black spiral staircase. Essentially, it was a very cute little shop. The walls were covered in shelves, every small bit of space used to contain another author or genre. The lighting was barely more than the sunlight pouring in through the front window, leaving the dust in the air to look like random flecks of light whishing around the empty space.
“Found it.” I heard Logan chime, standing up and holding the book out in front of me. His arm lowered, and he gazed at me with that look in his eyes, an untraceable emotion. He slipped his fingertips down the side of my face, along my jaw before lifting my chin to peck me swiftly on the lips without hesitation. “The Hound of the Baskervilles.” I rolled my eyes at his selection, ignoring his grin and followed him to the cash register. The older man working behind the counter set down his well used copy of “Carrie” and rang up Logan’s book.
“What is it with you and murder mysteries?” I asked as we left the store. He put his arm around me as we walked, considering his answer a moment. I glanced at him only to take in his expression as he thought.
He shrugged slightly. “I guess I like murder.” I gave him a weird look, which he brushed off easily. “It excites me.” He paused, keeping his gaze locked on the sidewalk now. “The mystery gives me something other than my problems to think about.” He sighed. “To try to figure it out.”
I nodded slowly. “You like solving things?”
The corner of his lips curled up slightly, and I knew he was enjoying some inner joke he didn’t plan on sharing. “Yeah.” He agreed. “I love to solve.” I kept my mind off of the future. Successfully. I managed to never think about it. But in the back of our minds, both Logan and I knew that this was the only time we would ever have together like this. He was mine, just as much as I was his. For now.
“Do you miss being just friends?” He asked slowly.
I shrugged as we sat on a park bench in the sun. “I suppose yes.”
“Me too.” He admitted carefully.
I didn’t let the silence fall over us. “It was less stressful.”
He chuckled. “I know what you mean.”
I sighed and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back to take in the sun. “I’m happy with this. I just, know it won’t last.”
He nodded. “I know.” He paused. “Then we’ll go back to that.”
“Deal.” I agreed.
True to his word, Logan taught me to fish. We had to drive out to this lake, a special one designated for fishing for some reason. It was far bigger than our waterfall’s small body of water. The only real surprise to me was the fact we weren’t using live worms as bait. It took us all afternoon, but eventually I caught a fish.
It was small, cold and scaly in my hands. Logan pulled out the hook. “This one is too small. We’ll let her have a bit more time.” He wrapped his wide hands around mine which held the trembling fish. We lowered it back into the water.
“That poor fish is probably traumatized.” I pointed out, using the lake water to wash my hands.
He rolled his eyes at my sympathy for the small creature, glancing at the sunset. “It’ll learn from the experience. And it’ll grow.”
***
“Shit.” I muttered, laying in bed next to him and squeezing my eyes shut.
His eyes held a moment of worry before he glanced down at me and calmed. That automatic shift was as though he knew every one of my emotions and when to take me seriously. “What?” He asked.
“Does this mean I’m in your ‘getting laid’ category now?” I asked, restraining a smile. It’s something I’m not very good at. I was laying shirtless, on my stomach, my arms crossed in front of me so I could rest my head on them.
He rolled his eyes. “Nah,” He murmured. “You can still be in ‘fun.’ I think you can fall under two categories.”
I laughed. “Perfect.”
He sat there puffing his cigar with one hand, the other rested on my back, a pensive look on his face. I watched him carefully, as I caught myself doing numerous times now. Just looking at him to acknowledge his presence and appreciate it. As though he felt me watching him he peeked over at me only slightly, and the hand that rested on my back started tracing small designs along my bare skin. It tickled, sending tingles all over me. I smiled, and closed my eyes.
We remained like that a while, and I briefly considered checking my phone, which I hadn’t turned on for most the duration of our trip. The only people that would try to contact me would be Bobby, Jubilee or Remy. But he wasn’t the type to call. He would just show up when he felt like it. My thoughts were interrupted when Logan spoke.
“Are we kidding ourselves?” He grumbled, his tone hiding all possible emotions.
“About?” I was lost in thought.
“Thinking that we can go back to being friends after this.”
I casually lifted my shoulders and dropped them. “It’s not like we’ll stop being friends.”
“I know.” He observed. He took his time to continue, and I wasn’t going to make him hurry to tell me his thoughts. Lately the only things I expected out of his mouth were thinks like ‘this should stop’ or ‘we should just be friends’ or ‘you’re simply not attractive enough.’ He took in a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
I opened my eyes at that, unable to stop myself. His hand on my back had stopped, and as I looked up at him, he met my gaze, not a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Before I could stop myself, the words were flowing out of my mouth as well. “I think I already am.”
That nearly made him smile, but his eyes were sad, worried. He leaned over, just to bring his face closer to mine. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He feared.
“You won’t.” I murmured quietly. I reached out to take his hand. “I’m not as fragile as you think.” Suddenly I stopped worrying about myself. Only because I didn’t care what happened to me. I didn’t care about much more than his pain and what he was going through. I realized that all I wanted for this man was happiness, and I knew I’d accept it if he found it with someone else.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
My apologies that this took so long. I lost all inspiration and I had to work far too long to complete this small chapter. I hope you like it!
Chapter End Notes:
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