It was very late when we arrived at the mansion; almost one in the morning. By this time, normally there were a few mutant students still awake, lingering in the hallways. But mostly it was empty and silent. I had read a book all the way home, which helped calm me. It was something that pulled me out of my own world. I was beginning to think I had an actual chance of sleeping tonight as I got out of the truck and slammed the door behind me.
I was carrying my backpack, and went to grab my other duffle bag before Logan beat me there. He picked it up silently and started walking towards the mansions entrance. I had nothing to do but follow him.
It was the only part of the mansion that had light, other than that I could see the halls flooded with darkness. It amazed me how good Logan and I were at completely ignoring each other’s presence. I saw his gaze travel up the stairs, and I wondered if he planned on heading to my room before a voice interrupted.
“You two are back early.”
The sound startled me, before it seeped into my soul with a dark lurking pain. Her voice, unlike mine, purred like a perfectly tuned violin. It was sweet and soft in every vibration of its sound. I was sure, that to a man who loved her, it would sound even more beautiful. And I hated her for it.
I grabbed my bag from Logan automatically, before glancing back at her. Her auburn hair looked soft in the hazy light. She wore snug blue jeans that accented her perfectly structured legs, and a shirt that showed the amount of cleavage that didn’t look slutty, just classy.
It was nearly 2 AM. She should not have perfect hair. I glanced down at myself, ashamed, like a stupid unsecure teenager. I still wore my short shorts, and a black tank top. My hair must have looked like a mess, and as I looked at Jean I knew what I had to accept.
I was nothing compared to her.
I snapped back to reality as Logan spoke. “We wanted to beat traffic.” He muttered. For the first time her gaze met mine, and fear struck me before realization did. First, I understood that she knew. She knew what had happened between myself and her fiancé back at the cabin. But I also realized, the fact that she had expected it to.
The corner of her ruby red lips lifted into a seductive smile as she walked up to Logan, so much less muscular than he was, and wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing him that perfect passionate kiss. I watched his entire body go rigid, and his hands, turn to fists at his sides. Nevertheless, he didn’t stop her. She also knew that she still had a strong claim on him, that would never be broken.
And just like that. My movie moment was stolen.
I was briskly, and brokenly walking up the stairs before I knew it. It was embarrassing, but I knew I was running. I was running to my bedroom as fast as I possibly could, not bothering to say goodbye to my once lover and once friend. But the anger built in me before I could stop it.
I returned to my room, amazed that I had been capable of remaining calm as I watched that. But the second I sat down I knew I wasn’t finished. Of course I wasn’t. I had several books on my bed which I grabbed and started throwing them against the wall satisfied with the sound they made as they hit different surfaces around me.
No. No. No. Was the only thought coursing through my mind. How could I have let this happen? How could I have let anyone hurt me like this again. I promised myself it would never happen. And somehow... those three days had become the bane of my existence. I wished they had never happened.
I thought back to every second of it. Every single moment of happiness felt like little more than a lie. Our movie moments were dead. My movements were frantic and desperate as I made no effort to calm myself down. I didn’t want to calm down. I was beyond fury.
For the first time I actually regretted taking the cure. I knew if I still had my power, I’d kill her. I would take amazing pleasure in draining Jeanie’s body of life. It didn’t deserve it. Everyone says the girl is powerful. They clearly haven’t seen what I can do.
Well, what I could do.
I should have known better than to let this happen to myself. I’m a stupid, young, idiotic girl who let herself believe for a second that true love really exists. It’s all just bullshit. It’s the adult version of Santa Clause. It’s something that will never last. It just wounds the heart.
I threw my last book across the room and watched as it toppled uselessly to the floor. My damn clothes still smelled like him. I started taking off my shirt, completely stripping and throwing on a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. It was suddenly incredibly warm in here.
I need a drink.
There did happen to be a booze cabinet in our school. Everyone of age got the combo. I poured myself whisky on the rocks. Just need a buzz. I just need something to take away the sting. This is hurting far too much.
I felt dark. I felt unbelievably shallow. But more than anything I felt empty. I felt robbed of every virtue I ever had. It was clear now. I was the idiot. The one wearing the ring always wins. Because that’s how life goes. The hot ones always win. Little ‘Jeanie’ who had such an awful life that she was later coddled and protected by Professor Xavier after.
Oh yeah. Poor Jeanie.
Bullshit.
I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. This couldn’t happen to me. I was the one who was strong. I don’t fall in love. I don’t even believe in love. The bottle of Vodka in my hand begged to differ. I grabbed a small glass and did a quick shot. The sting sank down to my bleeding heart, and barely fixed it. With one more and I’d have enough of a buzz to keep going.
There was the lesson here. Never trust people who tell you they love you. It’s just total bull shit. They never mean it. They just want something from you. And me, being the stupid little school girl, gave it to him. I slept with him.
What did I expect exactly? That he’d dump the girl of his dreams for me? That is the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard of. Little miss Jeanie is perfect. And who am I? I’m me. I’m the girl that means nothing and was just another notch in the belt. I was Logan’s “I wonder if I could do her.” Maybe that’s all I was to him. A challenge. After all I was the only girl who could resist. I turned to see the closest stable structure to me. I pulled back my arm, before allowing all my weight snap forward into my fist as I hit my wall with all of my strength.
The pain seared through my knuckles.
But it helped, and took every ounce of my will not to scream in pain.
It took me a moment of relishing in the agony to realize that I may have done more damage than I had intended. I sighed, cradling my arm to my stomach and started to make my way to the kitchen. Using one hand, I grabbed a beer and forced myself to go to the infirmary.
I hate the mansion’s little clinic. It’s better than the hospital of course but it still has the basic image of a clean white room. As I walked in I saw a woman leaning over an unconscious patient glance up at me. “Oh dear!” She exclaimed. “Let me take a look at that.”
I glanced down. It was swelling, but the pain had turned to numbness now, in my wrist and my heart.
***
Two fractures in my knuckle. Leave it to me to do something counterproductive to make myself feel better. I watched as she put on the brace I had promised I wouldn’t take off. I quickly tried to think of all the clothing I had that would hide it as much as possible as I walked out of the infirmary and back to my bedroom after spending the night here.
I didn’t want to be in my bedroom.
I just walked out with the stupid contraption on my wrist when a voice from behind me rang out. “What happened here chere?” Remy walked closer to me, taking my arm gently in his hands so that he could look closer at it. His red eyes scanned over the injury before meeting my gaze furiously. I knew he was thinking that... the most dangerous man alive had failed to protect me, so I shook my head slowly.
“I fell.” I admitted.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter doesn't have a lot of dialogue, basically a insight into Rogue's character a bit more. I hope you like it.
Chapter End Notes:
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