I sat on the cool granite of the kitchen counter guiltily reaching into the bag of McD’s value burgers to my left. Finishing one, I reached for another. I sipped on my water to make myself feel a bit better about what I was eating, but I knew it wouldn’t be long until Hank found me here, stuffing my feelings down my throat. My tummy was starting to show now in the fifth month. I still hadn’t switched out of my old clothing so my slender black tank top was climbing up my stomach enough to kindly display my belly button with the sexiness of Santa.
My Jane Austen books had been replaced with “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” and my life had begun to feel like I had no idea what to do with anything or anyone. This downward toxic spiral known as my pregnancy had led to me losing any idea of what to think of my future as. Surprisingly, the books didn’t mention what the hell to do when I was in this state of mind.
What didn’t help how I was feeling was seeing Jubilee in the halls with my Cajun Thief. She was giggling and she was pretty, and she was skinny and there was no part of her stretching past what skin would allow. And I hated her for it. I hated her for her useless firework power. I hated her for the fact she slept with his arms around her the way they used to be around me. And more than anything I hated the way I was within the same proximity as anyone when I felt like I just wanted to be alone.
I was quite emotional.
“Hank is going to kill you.” I heard a slight chuckle of amusement from the entrance to the kitchen.
I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. I swallowed the bite I had in my mouth and shrugged, mostly to myself. “He can try.” Logan’s footsteps came closer and closer to me till he was leaning his back against the counter I was sitting on. “Careful,” I warned “I’m really not a nice person right now.”
He shrugged, just reaching into my bag of heaven and grabbed a burger for himself. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He started unwrapping a burger and took a mouthful, starting to speak through his food. “Plus, a man did this to you. You might as well have a man around for when things get messy.” He walked around the counter till he was in front of me, pushing my legs apart so he could lean his belt buckle against the counter between my thighs. He gave me a charming look and took another bite of his burger.
I couldn’t help but smile. But with my heart pounding like a school girl I could feel the throbbing ache of wanting him to be that much closer—I looped my legs around his hips to pull myself towards him—my one hand had already reached forward to grab that big metal belt buckle of his, with my fingers skimming over his abs and slipping into the top of the waistband of his boxers—he started to lean in until his lips were just about to graze mine—
Stop stop stop. Damn hormones.
I looked down, pulling away from his kiss I let him go, pressing one hand to my mouth to conceal my desperate heavy breathing. “We shouldn’t,” I choked out finally. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him.
And at that moment I had happened to glance towards the door.
His expression was dull and masked, taking in what he had just seen as though he was assessing how to handle this amount of pain. It was like deciding where to hide this fresh batch of agony. His lips curled into an almost disgusted expression of absolute repulsion as he turned away. The girl he was with of course followed along like some stupid puppy with little to no understanding of what was happening.
“Remy wait,” I gasped out pushing myself off the counter, Logan stepped out of my way. I still hadn’t seen his face. “Please, Remy, no, you don’t understand.” I had finally reached him, and grabbed a hold of his hand but he pulled away as though my tough had burned him.
“What don’t I understand,” he demanded, his voice desperate with untamed fury. “That you choose him over me, always? Over and over again it is all you do. I thought you would just get him out of your system because you had wanted him so long and I got that. I understood that. But it isn’t going away, is it? It won’t go away because there is only one reason to do that, and that’s because you wanted it. You want him. Just fucking say it.”
I could feel myself crumbling under his words.
“What do you want from me, Remy?” I choked out as tears started to roll down my face. “You left me alone. For her.” I shot a glare at her only to notice the spark of fire in her eyes as though she wanted to lunge at me. “Stay out of this.” I hissed at her in the same second I felt a familiar hand grab mine as if to pull me away. “You too,” I cried at him. I turned back to Remy with sudden fire. “You left me alone and you went to her. Do you know what that means? It means that we aren’t together anymore.” My words were direct and clear now, as I calmed. “And we never will be. I don’t care if this is yours. You will never be a part of my life.”
I could see people gathering around the entrance of the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about. I didn’t wait for an answer from him, I just pushed past him and left, unable to wait any longer. The tears kept steaming down my face as I went to my room and threw my suitcase on the floor, throwing things messily into it. I barely noticed when my door opened and he had is arms around me. I fought against him, but finally we crumpled to the floor.
I woke up to him lifting me into the bed.
“Hey, kid."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Can't seem to let this story go.