Story Notes:
I've been wanting to write but been having stringing my thoughts along. This was something that I wrote in two sittings to try to get back in the spirit of writing.
It's a song fic with Ke$ha's "Dancing with tears in my eyes" Also I should add that this is an experiment with a different writing style than what I normally write, I will appreciate all feedback!
Author's Chapter Notes:
I hope you guys enjoy this little vignette, I have one more song fic planned after this and then hope to write a longer story for everyone!


The tumbler glass thunks on the laminated surface of the liquid stained table, the ice cubes in the cup rattling from the impact for a brief second before returning to their static state.

Here we go, welcome to my funeral
Without you I don't even have a pulse
All alone it's dark and cold
With every move I die

Music and noise collide in deafening decibels as she tries to swallow the concoction in her mouth.

The third one tonight, infinite more on the horizon

She closes her eyes tightly against the surge of tears, the source of which she will pretend are from the potency of the drink she just inhaled.

Here I go, this is my confessional
A lost cause, nobody can save my soul
I am so delusional
With every move I die

She tugs her leather gloves, checking to make sure they are firmly in place, she doesn’t need them.

Punishment is a substitute for paranoia, a constant reminder in the monotony that is what her life has become.

 A black fitted turtle neck hides her skin but hugs her curves, subtly accentuating her assets.

Either way she doesn’t care, she’s only here to pass the time, kill it if she has to.

Tonight is just another night to drown herself in, physically engulf herself in her surroundings.

I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault

She hears her name called to her left; before she reacts she reaches and places a mask over her face, a lid over her emotions. In one flowing move she is bounding towards the group, the definition of ‘a good time’.

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

Her hair whips across her face as she drowns herself in the noise, drowns herself in the mob.

Her hands suggestively trace her body for lewd spectators as she sways with the beat, her eyes are closed and she prays that she will drown.

I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

She tells herself she is not there to think about him, she is there to have fun.

She is not having fun

She is thinking about him

She hates herself more.

When did I become such a hypocrite?
Double life, lies that you caught me in
Trust me I'm paying for it
With every move I die

Cigarette smoke filters through the crowd, she remembers the smell of his cigars—she always remembers his cigars.

She remembers his rage; how his gaze burned through her while his voice remained silent.

She remembers how in an instant she broke what they had crafted, in a moment she was left for dead.

She remembers him walking away

She remembers not chasing after him

On the floor I'm just a zombie
Who I am is not who I wanna be
I'm such a tragedy
With every move I die

A tap on her shoulder and she turns to find matching glasses holding an amber liquid.

She offers a wide mouth smile, but her eyes don’t light up.

The glass is emptied and replaced with another.


I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault

The previous minute melts into the next, and so forth while she keeps trying to drown herself.

With each passing drink, it gets harder to focus but not harder to think.

Disembodied hands are searching her curves as tosses her head back into his chest and for a moment she allows herself to be hopeful

A sliver of reason peaks and she knows it’s not him.


I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

She pushes away from the imposter and fights her way out of the sea.

She is swimming against the current and bodies knock into her

The ground rises and falls like the waves

Shaking hands grasp at moving walls while she stumbles her way down the service hall.

The backdoor is always unlocked; she has used it many times- not always alone.


I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

Cold air splashes against her face as she staggers through the doorway.

The door shuts behind her; the music becomes a distant thunder.

This is it and now you're really gone this time
Never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind

The ground rises up to meet her wavering form as she lands on the concrete in a tangle of limbs

Her body retches and her hands flail around as she tries to remember how to stand.


I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

Water splashes her cheeks, a puddle of yesterday’s rainwater.

She stops fighting gravity and lets her hand become enveloped by the dirty water as she collapses back on the ground.

I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

She closes her eyes, and prays that maybe tonight she will drown.

Chapter End Notes:
Hope you guys enjoyed it and leave some comments too!
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