~oOo~

Logan paced back and forth in the hangar, waiting not so patiently for the Blackbird to arrive. The image of Rogue's lifeless body was etched into his mind. He and Charles had watched on the video screen as the team disembarked from the Blackbird, Hank and Scott carrying a stretcher and Jubilee toting the physician bag.

Rogue was unrecognizable. Her entire body scorched and scarred, her hair absent and her clothes burned away. He had no fucking idea what happened and seeing her in such physical pain tore at his heart. When he'd witnessed her mental anguish fighting with Carol and the other personalities inside her head, he knew there was nothing he could do for her. It hurt to see her in such agony but this was a whole new level of torture because he could have been there to help her. He could have had her back and maybe done something so that she hadn't ended up nearly dead.

The claws slid slowly out from between his knuckles and he relished the throbbing pain that always tore through his arms when they extended.

When they come out…does it hurt?

Every time.


Logan's anguished roar reverberated through the large space. He collapsed to his knees, feeling the almost foreign sensation of tears bursting forth from his eyes. His cries were somewhere between choked sobs and the tormented wail of an animal. What if her healing factor and invulnerability weren't enough? What if he lost her? His whispered words were as quiet as his rage was deafening.

"Don't leave me Marie. I can't do this without you."

His hands ran through his hair and the telltale whirring of Charles' wheelchair rose behind him. He made no effort to wipe his wet face or scramble to his feet. It wasn't worth trying to mask emotions when one of the world's most powerful telepaths resided in the same house. Charles' words confirmed that he already knew what Logan was feeling.

"She'll be alright, Logan. Rogue is strong. She's a fighter."

"She is, Chuck. But she just went through literal hell. We have no fucking idea what that thing did to her head. I just got her back, I can't lose her again."

Charles stopped his chair next to Logan and placed his hand on the large man's shoulder. It was a gesture Charles Xavier had never offered to Logan before but, now, in his brokenness, Logan accepted any attempt at comfort.

Charles was about to speak again when the cargo bay doors opened. Logan sprang to his feet, as if he was a predator ready to pounce on its prey. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next, waiting for the entrance ramp to open so he could finally see Marie face to face.

Logan didn't bother to wait for the door to open completely before he jumped aboard, only to be met by Hank and Scott, flanking the stretcher. Jubilee steadied the bag of IV fluids as they exited the Blackbird. Upon seeing her for the first time, Logan almost stopped breathing. She was so much damn worse than she had over the video screen. Her skin looked as if she had been placed in a furnace; it was raw, bloody and seeping. The sheet that covered her nakedness was no longer white but a deep shade of red. Rogue's head was bare and her eyelashes black and singed.

His tears started again and he bent low to whisper in her ear, being careful not to touch her.

"I'm here, baby. You're home. Come on back to me, Marie. I love you."

~oOo~

Logan stood at the head of Marie's bed, watching as Hank worked quickly to get her settled and prepare the equipment he needed to monitor her condition. Once again, the window on the other side of the med lab was filled with people watching Rogue fight for her life. He looked at her still form and resisted the urge to put his hand on her head, not wanting to cause her more pain.

"Her healing factor, Hank. Why the fuck isn't it kicking in?"

The doctor finished attaching the sensors to Rogue's body, careful to apply the salve so as not to damage her tissue further. At the question, he stopped and looked Logan straight in the eye.

"It's not working. I'm seeing no change in her condition from the time we found her to now. In every instance where she was injured on a mission or during training, it took approximately ten minutes for her to fully heal. More serious damage may have taken an hour…no more."

This was not the news Logan wanted to hear. He was about to continue when Charles came into the room.

"It's not simply her healing factor that's an issue, Hank. I've been able to access her mind and, well, there's no other way to say this…she's not there."

"Wait…what the hell do you mean she's not there?"

"Whenever someone is asleep or unconscious, they still emit thoughts and emotions as if they're in a dreamlike state. In essence, their mind is present while their body is dormant. In this case, Rogue's body is alive but it's as if her mind is in…for lack of a better term…limbo. There are no memories, no thoughts or feelings taking place."

"But those monitors." Logan moved to the machines tracking Rogue's vital signs. "Those mean she has brain activity."

"Yes. Yes she does. But it's as if she's in utero again. Maybe her experience with the Phoenix damaged her brain as well as her body. Eliminated her mutation or possibly reset her entire system."

Logan was pacing again. A slowly healing Rogue he could handle. Having her entire personality wiped clean was another thing entirely.

"So what the hell do we do, Chuck? Can I touch her? Give her my healing factor again?"

Hank spoke up this time. "No, Logan. She can control her mutation, which means she would have to wake up and open the connection. At this point she is, for all practical purposes, a normal human without the benefit of her powers."

Logan was trying to control the grief that threatened to grow into anger. It was an understatement to say that he did not handle bad news well.

"But…no…she's not normal, Hank. A normal human would have been annihilated when they hit the ground. They wouldn't have survived the fall much less be able to lie here, fighting for their life. She's in there and she's going to come back. She fuckin' has to come back."

He moved once again to her side, his head close to her ear as he whispered words only she was privileged to hear. He would keep talking and never stop. Maybe his voice would be her light in the darkness.

~oOo~

Jean Grey moved through the kitchen, placing coffee cups, fruit and other items on a large tray. After Hank gave Jean a clean bill of health, she had jumped right in to assist with Rogue's care. She honestly would have done anything she could to help. Putting together a tray of food at three in the morning was nothing compared to what Rogue had done for her.

She placed her hands on the counter and lowered her head, crying the tears she hadn't shed in almost two years. Two years of watching her life spin out of control at the hands of someone…something that wanted nothing more than to dominate everything in its path. She'd watched as it pushed away the love of her life and alienated the people around her, including her closest friend and mentor, Charles.

And now, a woman lies somewhere between death and life, struggling to find her way back from the abyss and it was all her fault. She hadn't been strong enough to fight the Phoenix and now Rogue was paying for her cowardice.

"Hey. You okay?"

She hadn't heard Scott come into the room. Jean looked up and saw him standing there in the dim light, wearing a t-shirt and jeans. To her, he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. She wished she could run into his arms and everything would be like it was but she knew that Scott had feelings for Rogue. It hurt but she certainly couldn't blame him for loving someone as strong and beautiful as Marie. All Jean could do now was try her hardest to prove herself again. Maybe…then maybe things could be different.

She smiled. "Yes. Fine, thanks. Guess I'm just having a weepy moment."

Scott nodded his head, remembering how Jean used to throw out that phrase whenever he caught her tearing up.

"Well, you're entitled, you know. After what you told us in the Blackbird, I'm not sure I would even have the strength to get out of bed for a week."

"There's nothing I would like more. But it's not about me right now. Rogue is lying down there because of me and I have to find some way to help her."

"Jean, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was, Scott. I begged her for help. For as powerful as Charles thinks I am, I wasn't strong enough to do what Rogue did yesterday. She could die because I wasn't able to fight."

He walked forward and stood next to her at the kitchen counter. "Jean, don't do this. I watched as you sacrificed yourself for all of us at Alkali Lake. You are strong. This…thing…was just stronger."

Jean looked at him. His eyebrows were furrowed as they always were when he was worried. How she had missed him looking at her with that level of concern on his face.

"Thank you for the support, Scott. It's really much more than I deserve."

"You always were too hard on yourself, Jean."

He rested his hand on her shoulder and was surprised to find that it felt natural. Since their breakup, he hadn't thought much about his feelings for Jean because of his growing attraction to Rogue. But standing here with Jean being herself, there was something about it that felt right again.

"Can I give you a hand with this?"

"That would be great, thanks."

Jean sensed Scott's sincerity and feelings of ease with her. It wasn't the passion or connection they'd once had but it was something. And after all she'd done over the last two years, she'd hold on to that something as fiercely as she could.

~oOo~

After seventy two hours, Hank had broken down and forced Logan out of the med lab for a minimum of an hour. He'd been ordered to shower after Hank had declared Logan 'ripe enough to curl my hair'. Since there'd been no change in Rogue's condition, Logan had finally agreed.

Hank, Charles and Jean had worked continuously to try and access her mind as well as attend to her medically. Her vital signs indicated she was in some sort of stasis and Charles tried to be optimistic but Logan could smell the worry pouring off everyone in the lab. Logan had been reading to Rogue, talking to her, doing anything he could to keep their connection open. There was one spot just behind her ear that he'd begun to touch, softly caressing her damaged skin, wanting to be as close to her as he could.

Logan returned to the med lab, holding his cup of coffee and carrying a bag of fresh bagels that the housekeeper had procured from the local baker. She always knew just how to take care of the people in the mansion. He made a mental note that he would get the diminutive woman a special thank you gift when all this was over.

Hank smelled the bagels and his stomach audibly growled.

"I suppose I should eat."

"Take as many as you want, Blue."

Logan resumed his place, sitting in a chair at the top of Rogue's bed and pulled out the new book he'd brought down from the library. He chuffed, remembering a conversation he'd had with Rogue the previous week about his lack of desire to read novels.

"You should really give it a try, Logan."

"Darlin', there's a lot more things I'd rather be doin' than readin'."

"Yeah, I can see how bar fighting, fucking and hockey could take up your whole day."

"Hey, don't knock it till you try it, sweetcheeks."

"They make books with pictures, you know. Nice ones with big words."

"Now you're just bein' a smartass."

"Dick and Jane. There's something just your speed."

"I'll give you some dick, darlin'."

"Neanderthal."


He smiled. She was so fucking good for him. Knew just how to make him a better man but never pushed him to be something he wasn't. Logan looked at her still charred face and it hit him again that he might lose her. His lips took their place next to her ear and he gave the tip of her earlobe a soft kiss before speaking.

"Hey baby. I brought a new book for you. I think you'll like it. It's by Stephen King. Should have lots of blood and gore. Not exactly Shakespeare but I know you're glad I'm at least reading somethin' besides Dr. Seuss. Okay, now…"

Logan stopped when he caught sight of the spot of the small patch of skin that he so often caressed.

"Hank, get over here."

The large blue doctor rushed to where Logan sat and followed the man's finger as Logan pointed to the small patch of pink, new skin.

"My stars and garters, Logan. She's healing."

Hank moved aside the warming blanket and carefully inspected the rest of her body.

"Here. And here." He pointed to six small areas that showed signs that she was beginning to heal on her own.

Logan bent down to Rogue's ear again. "You hear that, Marie. You're gettin' better. Keep movin' out of that black in there, darlin'. I'm waitin' for you."

~oOo~

It took another several days before Rogue's body began to resemble anything close to normal. Her hair was still gone and the skin was delicate but it was evident that her healing factor was still intact albeit working at a fraction of the pace it had before the altercation with the Phoenix.

Charles continued to gently probe her mind, searching for any sign she might regain consciousness. Logan watched the man, anxious to hear what he'd discovered. Charles lifted his hands away from Rogue's temples, the disappointment evident in his face.

"Dammit. Alright, then, we just keep waitin'. She's healin' so it'll just take time."

"Logan it's possible that her body may heal but not the damage to her mind. We just don't know."

"It ain't an option, Chuck. If I have to sit here for the next fuckin' year, talkin' and readin' to her, that's what I'm gonna do. I know her. She's a stubborn little shit and I know she ain't gonna give up."

Xavier shook his head, knowing that nothing he said would change Logan's mind. He directed his chair forward and was stopped by Hank's excited voice.

"Look!" Charles turned his head and saw Hank, Jean and Logan staring at the monitor, watching as the lines of Rogue's brain activity jumped slightly. "There. She's there."

Logan ran back to the bed and placed his face directly over hers. His hands gently stroked the fragile skin of her face.

"Marie. Baby. Come on, darlin', I know you're tryin' to get out of there."

Jean's voice was trembling. "She's waking up. Oh, God, Logan, keep talking to her."

"I knew you wouldn't give up, Marie. You don't like to lose, girl. Keep goin', baby. Keep goin'."

Hank, Jean and Charles watched breathlessly as the monitor continued to fluctuate wildly. They began to see her eyes move from side to side underneath her closed eyelids. Charles picked up the slightest hint of her emotions and it caused his chest to constrict. He caught Jean's eye and her face immediately fell, knowing the strained and fearful look on Charles face. Before anything could be said between them, Rogue's eyes fluttered open.

Logan smiled and looked deeply into her beautiful eyes. "Welcome back, darlin'." He began to move his head towards hers, intending to claim her lips with his own when he was stopped cold by the terrified tone in her voice.

"Who are you?"

~oOo~
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