~oOo~
"Marie, baby, it's me. It's Logan."
His eyes were pleading with her, begging Marie to raise her mouth in that sexy, self-assured way of hers. But in a nanosecond it was clear that this was not the Marie who'd held him after a nightmare just over a week ago. This was not the Marie who'd whispered words in his ear that made him crazy with lust. These eyes were wide with the same type of confusion and terror that bored into him the night he impaled her with his claws.
No. Please God, no.
"Get away from me."
"Marie…"
He reached for her face again and she flinched; recoiled from him as if he was some abusive psychopath preparing to attack her. There was no recognition in her eyes.
"Now."
Logan backed away from her as if she'd physically slapped him. The familiar pain of watching her but not being able to do anything to help washed over him. He'd failed to protect her and now she was lost to him.
"Logan, why don't you come over here and let me see her, okay?"
Jean's voice was soothing; she was trying to give Marie some measure of comfort among the group of now-strangers standing in front of her. Jean saw Marie's eyes dart from Logan to the professor and then to Hank when she immediately sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest and inadvertently pulling on the wires and intravenous drips connected to her arms and chest.
"Where in the holy fuck am I? Who are you people?"
Jean reached out to Marie telepathically, trying to help her calm down while she spoke.
"It's alright. You're safe. Let me explain what's going on." She turned around and addressed the men gathered in the corner of the room. "You all should leave while I talk to Marie."
Charles nodded and moved his wheelchair toward the exit. Hank took Logan by the arm and practically had to drag the poor man from the room which was no easy feat even for Hank. The men left and Jean sat next to Marie, her heart broken at the raw anguish Logan was projecting. Jean tried to clear it from her mind and turned to Marie, smiling and leaning forward, attempting to appear as non-threatening as possible.
"My name is Doctor Jean Grey. I know this is all a great shock to you. Can you tell me what you remember?"
Marie was silent, her eyes darting all over the room until she finally locked eyes with Jean once more. The absence of the three men coupled with Jean's telepathic suggestion had calmed Marie down. Instead of being defensive and protective of herself, now Marie was questioning...and scared.
"I…I don't know. I remember…fire." And so much pain. Rage. Fear. Sadness. "There was fire all around me. Is that what happened? I was in an accident? Is this a hospital?"
"Yes. You were…in an accident."
Marie's confusion and despair deepened. It was projecting so strongly, Jean had to take a breath in order to concentrate.
"Who am I?"
Where her voice was laced with anger and fear just moments earlier when Logan had been standing over her, now it sounded desperate and almost child-like. The horrible twist of events that now had Marie in the position of imploring Jean for help because Jean hadn't been able to supplant the Phoenix was not lost on the telepath in the least. She owed this woman her life. Jean took Marie by the hand.
"Your name is Marie. And I am your friend."
~oOo~
Logan, Hank and Charles stood behind the security glass just outside Rogue's room, watching the two women talk. Observing Marie's body language told Logan that she was nervous and afraid. It made him want to both scream and sob at his inability to do anything for her. The look in Marie's eyes, the scent of her fear and the way she recoiled from him was worse than any physical injury he'd ever endured.
They watched for a few more minutes as Jean continued to speak. From time to time, Rogue would answer and seem to even be amused.
"Rogue seems to be taking all this information in stride. I'd say that's a good sign." Hank observed.
"She can't fuckin' remember who she is, Hank. I don't think that's a goddamn good sign."
Logan stood facing the window, his arms crossed and his jaw clenched in anger. He resisted the temptation to slide the claws in and out as he did when he was suppressing the wolverine pushing to break free. The pain was a distraction from his anger but, right now, he didn't want any distractions.
Charles, always the eternal optimist, endeavored to put a positive view on the situation.
"At least she's awake and, physically, she's healing. It's quite possible that her memories are just taking longer to emerge."
Logan turned to Charles, attempting to remain calm despite his immense desire to rage against the injustice of having Marie taken from him.
"I can't smell her, Chuck."
Charles' eyebrow rose the way it always did when he wasn't quite sure how to respond.
"Every one of you has a particular scent, including Marie. But as a feral and my mate, there's an…aroma she gives off that marks her as mine. It's not there." The hopelessness in his voice was evident. "Not even a trace."
None of the men spoke, realizing that there were no words of comfort or encouragement to be offered. They watched as Jean pressed a button and the glass in front of them darkened. Jean stepped out of the door and into the waiting area, crossing her arms over her chest.
"She's getting dressed. I told her about everything. The school, her background and her place as a member of the X-Men. Although her skin has healed, she shows no sign of recovering her powers as of yet." Jean smiled. "Other than telling me she's not wearing a cape and tights, she seemed to take it all pretty well. The only thing she remembers is the fire. Other than that…nothing. Not her name, her past…" Jean purposely looked at Logan, her eyes apologetic. "Not even you."
Logan's head bowed and all the anger and frustration dissipated into pure grief. His voice was rough and low as he choked out his words.
"Can I see her?"
"Give her a few minutes. I mentioned that she would probably have visitors but that we would let her be alone as much as she wanted right now just to get used to the situation. She's chosen to stay in the med lab for at least a few days and then she can decide where she wants to stay in the mansion."
Hank spoke up. "I'll still want to monitor her condition and Charles will be available to assist her in any way, I'm sure."
"Yes, I explained all of that to her and she's very amenable to our help. I'm just hoping we can."
Charles moved his chair forward and took Jean's hand. "Thank you Jean. It's good to have you back again."
Her eyes fell to the floor and her mouth turned downward.
"It shouldn't have been at Rogue's expense, Charles."
"Jean, she chose to help you. And now we will all be there to help her." Charles paused a moment. "Why don't we all leave Rogue to get dressed. I'm sure she could use some time to herself."
"I ain't leavin', Chuck."
Jean stepped forward and put her hand on Logan's shoulder. "I know you love her, Logan. Just don't push her too hard. She's just as stubborn as you are, remember? Be patient."
"Yeah, she is, isn't she? I'll take it easy, Jeannie. Thanks."
Hank, Jean and Charles made their way out of the waiting room and back out into the mansion. Logan stood at the doorway, his hands on either side of the frame, attempting to calm the storm whirling in his head. He remembered driving in that broken down camper of his, Marie's bravado so evident even then.
So, what kind of name is Rogue?
I don't know. What kind of name is 'Wolverine'?
But even for all her strength and bravery, she had that sensitive side. The part of her that wanted to belong…to be loved and accepted. It was what drove her to help the people around her and what caused her to end up in the med lab without any memory of who she was. But he wasn't about to give up on her. She was his life. She was his salvation.
~oOo~
Marie finished dressing in underclothes, simple t-shirt, yoga pants and a sweatshirt that Jean had given her. Apparently, these were Marie's own clothes, taken from a locker just outside the room. She brought the sweatshirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. It was a strange smell, musky and tinged with the scent of smoke. Did she smoke? Hell, she couldn't remember. It was so damn frustrating. Jean had called her a hero, said she'd saved Jean's life. But she sure as shit didn't feel very heroic sitting here in the medical facility of some mutant school with no memory of who she was.
She ran her hand over the stubble on her head.
"A literal clean slate. Hoo-fucking-rah."
She turned at the sound of the door and locked eyes with the man who'd stood over her when she'd woken up. He was tall and solidly built with wild, dark hair and the kind of intense stare that made you feel like a rabbit being stalked by a wolf. This was the man Jean had told her about.
"Hey."
His voice was deep and rough but with a layer of gentleness.
"Hey yourself."
"My name's…"
"Logan." She interrupted, a soft smile on her face. "Jean told me. I'm sorry for wigging out on your earlier. Waking up with a strange guy staring down at me was not exactly what I was expecting."
He moved over to the wall and leaned against it, crossing his large arms and cocking his head to one side. The corner of his mouth rose up in a sly smile.
"I've always been told I got a face only my momma could love."
Her laughter rang through his ears and it was all he could to not to cross the distance between them and take her in his arms. She rubbed her bald head and he could tell she was shy about her appearance.
"Yeah, well, at least you don't look like you just dipped yourself in a vat of hair remover." She sat back on the bed and put her hands in her lap. Logan could smell her nervousness around him.
"Darlin'….sorry…Marie…you look…"
Don't push it. Don't scare her. Don't say she looks fucking incredible because she's alive and she's here and you want her more in this second than you've ever wanted anyone in your life.
"You look great."
Marie captured his gaze again and despite having no memory of him, she knew that Logan was telling the truth. It was insane, considering the fact that he was big, dark, brooding and looked like he could kill someone a thousand different ways and know just how to hide the body, but she trusted him.
"Jean told me…about us. I'm sorry. I can't remember anything."
His hands moved into his pockets now. He was trying hard to hide his disappointment. He probably wasn't doing it very well.
"It's alright. I didn't come in here to push you, Marie. Just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. Anythin' you need, consider it done."
"Thanks Logan."
He nodded his head and moved away from the wall. Logan took a few steps toward Marie before he stopped, willing himself to not overstep the boundary and frighten her. They searched each other's eyes for a moment. Logan wanted Marie to know he was hers and Marie fought to reclaim any connection that would bring her out of the darkness.
"I'll let you…I'll go. Be back later to bring you some books and stuff, if you want."
"That would be great, yeah."
Logan stepped back and cocked his head to the side again. "Later then Marie."
"Bye Logan. It was good to meet you…again, I guess."
He walked out the door and Marie recognized the musky and slightly smoky aroma from her sweatshirt wafting through the air. That smell belonged to Logan.
~oOo~
The rest of Marie's day was spent in the med lab. Hank ran tests, Charles attempted to access her mind and the occasional visitor would come by to see her. Marie had elected to stay the next few days rather than move to a room. Roaming around a large mansion where people knew her but who she couldn't remember seemed a completely overwhelming idea. Besides, maybe in a few days, she would be back to normal…whatever that meant.
She was looking at one of the magazines Jean had brought for her and eating a sandwich when a bubbly Asian woman came into the room. She had deep brown eyes, a wide, friendly smile, and practically bounced when she walked.
"Hey, chica. I'm Jubilee. Just so you know, we're totally best friends and I know everything about you. Love the cueball look, by the way. You wear it well."
Jubilee sat down next to her and Marie smiled. No bullshit. She liked this Jubilee already.
"Thanks. I think everyone's going to want to shave their head after they see me. So, you're a mutant?"
By way of an answer, Jubilee lifted up her hand and Marie watched as tiny sparkles of energy floated up into the air, each one bursting with a gentle 'paff'.
"I can do bigger. Fireworks, large nasty balls of energy. Fun stuff. I've even moved my way up the mutant chain from 'does cute tricks' to 'dangerous'."
"Huh. Cool. So…what exactly can I do? They told me I had powers but didn't tell me a lot of specifics."
"I always called you the vampire. You can absorb other people's mutations. The crappy part is that before you could control it, you couldn't touch anyone or else you'd suck out their powers, memories, whatever."
"Well, I'll be damned."
"No shit. You had a whole library of powers in that head of yours, girl. Including flight."
"I could fly?"
"Oh, like a rocket, chica. You can also heal…you got that one from tall, dark and hairy."
"Logan?"
"Yep. You touched him twice. Got his healing and his feral abilities; enhanced smell, sound and sight. Of course it also means you like to run around in the woods and shit, but, hey everyone's got their quirks, right?"
Marie laughed. "So, Jean said Logan and I were…involved. When I talked to him earlier he seemed kind of intense."
Jubilee nodded. "Not to freak you out, but you and Logan were more than involved. You were connected. That man loves you more than anyone on this planet and you were just as crazy about him."
The sandwich in Marie's stomach suddenly threatened to go back where it came from. She put her head in her hands and pressed, as if she could release the memories that hid somewhere in the blackness of her mind.
"I want to remember. I fucking hate feeling like this."
Jubilee patted Marie on the knee. "Look, we love you and we want to help. Just relax and let us take care of you for once. You were always trying to do things for everyone else, it's our turn."
"Thanks. It means a lot."
The woman stood up and wrapped her arms around Marie in a fierce hug.
"When you want to blow this pop stand, let me know and coordinate the escape. Find you a room that doesn't smell like antiseptic…" Jubilee made her voice lower. "…and Hank's Twinkie stash."
"I heard that, young lady. My lab does not smell like Twinkies."
Jubilee winked at Marie and grinned.
"You know I love you, Big Blue, but those things are gonna kill you. They're all chemicals, dude."
"A man must have his vices…and mine happens to be deliciously filled snack cakes."
Jubilee rolled her eyes and snickered. Marie's new…old…best friend turned back to her and waved. "I'll come back tomorrow and get you out of the house for a bit. That new skin of yours needs a little sun. Later!"
"Bye, Jubilee."
Marie heard the sound of her own voice whisper in the back of her mind.
Love you too, firecracker.
~oOo~
Logan was on his way back down to see Marie, a load of books, her iPod and other things stacked in a box. The process of removing her items from the place they shared tore at his heart. The room was nothing without her there. He'd taken one of her shirts and held it to his face, breathing her scent deep into his lungs, forcing that smell to etch even deeper into his brain that it was already.
His eyes glanced down at the shirt, placed on top of the other items he was carrying and his chest felt heavy. He wanted to walk through the door to see her waiting for him with open arms and that subtle Marie smile she saved only for him. But she wouldn't. And he would be there every damn day, waiting for that smile, waiting to claim her again.
He walked down the last step and turned the corner only to see Scott making his way down the hallway, his mouth turned upward in a small smile. In Logan's mood, he wanted nothing more than to smack that grin off the boy scout's face.
Scott's steps faltered as he saw Logan approaching.
"What are you doin', Scott?"
"Just wanted to say hi to Rogue, Logan. She is my friend, you know."
The two men stopped, facing each other in the hallway like two old west enemies preparing for a shootout on Main Street. Scott realized that he could not have picked a worse time to visit the med lab.
"Did you now? You hopin' that since she's got no memory, you might have a shot, Scooter?"
"Unlike you, Logan, I don't go sniffing around other guys' girlfriends when they're not looking."
Logan dropped the box and had Scott pinned up against the wall in the blink of an eye.
"Don't play noble with me, One-Eye. You've been hoverin' around her since you and Jean broke up. But Marie chose me. Don't you fuckin' forget that."
"I won't forget, Logan. But don't you forget that if you hadn't come back, Rogue and I would probably be together right now. So if her memories don't resurface, maybe you should just back the fuck off and let her decide for herself."
Scott's tilted his head forward enough that they were almost touching foreheads.
"Now let me go or so help me God, they're going be scraping your brains off the walls for a week."
Logan pushed against Scott's chest and stepped away, knowing that killing or even maiming the pretty boy wouldn't exactly endear him to Marie. But it was fucking tempting. Scott was competition and that was a contest he wasn't sure he could win now. If Marie didn't get back her memories and recover her feral senses, their connection would be gone. Could she love him as a man and not as her savior, her protector, her mate? Scott was a good guy. Maybe Jeannie had been right and women wanted the good guy over….well, whatever he was. Maybe he wasn't a knight in shining armor but he wasn't going to leave her again. And he hoped that would be enough.
It had to be enough.
~oOo~
Marie was sitting on the edge of the bed while Hank carefully inserted a needle into her vein.
"I really don't like needles."
Hank laughed softly. "So you've told me on many occasions, my dear."
"Oh….sorry."
The door opened and her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was Logan. Her heart fluttered in her chest as if she were a teenage girl mooning over the high school quarterback. She'd met Scott earlier and was taken aback at how handsome he was, despite not being able to see Scott's eyes through that ruby visor. He was sweet and kind and strong all at the same time.
But this man was raw. Pure and raw and he loved her. God she wished she had her memories because she was damn sure they would be worth playing over in her head.
"Couldn't stay away, huh?"
It wasn't her running into his arms, but the smile on her face drained away any traces of anger from Logan's confrontation with Scott. He smirked, relieved that she was happy to see him.
"I hear this is the place to be."
"Oh, definitely. Later, Hank is going to open up the nitrous and we're going to party."
"Sounds like I got here just in time then."
Hank patted Marie on the shoulder. "Finished, Marie. You're free to get down now."
Logan motioned toward the box he'd set on the table next to her bed. "So..brought you some stuff to read. Your music…and some DVD's you like…liked. Ah, hell…I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Logan. Shit even I don't know what to make of myself." She took his hand in hers. "But I appreciate you wanting to help."
"I'll do anythin' for you, Marie."
His fingers came up and touched her cheek much like the night on the Statue of Liberty when he was so desperate to bring her back to life. Her newly healed skin was soft and delicate with that trace of pink in her face. Logan reveled in the feel of her and found himself lost in her eyes, wanting to bring her lips to his own once again.
Before either of them said a word, he felt the pull of her mutation under his fingertips.
Terrified, Marie jerked away from him and Logan stepped back, only slightly dazed by their brief contact. Her powers were returning.
Logan smiled.
Marie screamed.
~oOo~
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing. I had the first ten chapters already up so from this point I'll be updating as I write, about once a week.