3: Just another evil
Hope. Did she even know what she hoped for?
Once, Marie had hoped for adventure. It had kept her going, through the drudge of middle school, that difficult sophomore year, and the torturously slow first half of her junior year. Then fate had smacked her in the face and told her to concentrate on the here and now: a safe ride, her next meal. Hope had nothing to do with it when she climbed into Logan's trailer: that had been instinct. Action without thought. Hope came later.
When he stopped, and let her clamber in.
When a simple question gave her that first glimpse of the man inside.
When his life flowed into her, and his first thoughts were for her safety and wellbeing.
After arriving at Xavier's, her new world was too confusing and frenetic to give her anything to hope for, but she had him. Logan. He was her comfort and security and just hers … until he wasn't. Until he became just another X-man, and was gone more often than he was home. Jean Grey's would-be lover, and she just the kid with a crush. Just another teacher, and every pat on the head, too-quick hug, and “good job, Rogue!” made it clear that he was a friend. A distant, grown-up, authority-figure kind of friend.
Or so he wanted her to believe.
She wanted to go wake him, haul his ass out of bed and make him explain exactly what he'd been thinking every time he'd slipped into that big brother act. Make him verbalise that ferocious stab of desire that had frozen him, the first time he'd seen her in the leather. Make him trace those long, beautiful fingers over every curve, every seam, the way he had wanted to. His reaction had been visceral and primal, and she had wondered about it, the way he'd clenched his jaw and glowered at her. The way he still did, sometimes. The way he had yesterday.
The new memories were so fresh that they hadn't even made it into his folder yet. She'd shoved them in hastily and thrown to the bottom of the box so she could get back to herself and get on with battling the Sentinels. It had only been a tiny piece of shrapnel, and Hank wouldn't have even needed his tweezers, but Logan had grabbed her around the wrist and held on until even her aching legs were feeling better. “Teamwork,” he'd grunted as Colossus looked on in awe, and the rush of him felt so good that Marie wasn't inclined to argue.
How he felt about her now. If she was unprincipled enough to look. (Brave enough.)
She thought of her future, here, without the Professor. With Jean lost to the Brotherhood. Without her mutation. She thought of Hope, fluttering its wings, trapped. (Hope, when they needed it most.)
*
They weren't ready. Shadowcat and Iceman were running in fucking circles, Colossus was stuck in his defensive game, and Rogue was being careful to stay out of trouble. Guess she knows she'll catch it from me if she don't, because I won't have my girl risking herself for these idiots.
Not my girl, though she looks like she should be. Wanna peel her outta that leather, cut it offa her and taste it on her skin. Worth dying for.
Wonder if they'd let us keep the suit, when we go?
Can't believe I'm really thinking about this, now. Scott's such a mess he's worse than useless, and we don't even have a new doc yet. Storm's blowin' up at every little thing. Heh. If she don't fuckin' like my way of doin' things, why'd she ask me to train 'em in the first place? Better off if we left.
Yeah, we. She's got her fuckin' diploma, she's done with school, she's legal in Canada.
What makes you think she'd even wanna go, bub? Look at her there, all serious and focused. Lookin' good AND kicking ass. She's got a boyfriend here, these are her friends, learnin' to fly a jet for pete's sake – why would she give all that up just to hit the road with me?
She smells like mine. That's why. Fuck you, Colossus, get your hands off her. I'll take care of what's mine. Had enough of this.
“Colossus, how's your throwing arm?”
Not bad. Can see for miles up here! And there. Done.
“Class dismissed.”
*
So Jean came back. And her psycho bitch thing probably shook him up pretty bad. And the Professor died, which shook us all up, but … does it really change anything? Marie was sprawled on the Memory Room rug, warming herself by the fire.
She traced her fingers over the photograph, his beautiful face forever captured in an intent gaze at the smaller of the two figures crouched against the wall. Her. One small nudge and she was able to relive his thoughts, his feelings and even his plans for the night (six bottles of beer, a B-league hockey game, and an innocent brunette who'd snuggle up close and drive him crazy with wanting).
They were due a reckoning, and maybe they would have had it by now if things had been different. Maybe he would have opened the box wide and told her he wanted her, and she was his. Maybe she would have told him she needed him, and hated all of this. Maybe they would have even left by now.
But instead, they'd lost a battle, and endured a memorial. He'd seen the woman he could have loved (tried to love, wanted to love) taken over by something evil, and all those obligations (believed in me, the first people to ever believe in me, to need me for something other than killin') would be reeling him in now.
Logan wasn't going anywhere. Wouldn't be able to walk away from the battle that was coming. Now, more than ever, he needed to be a good man, the one that stuck around. But this wasn't all about him. And she needed to be somewhere else – anywhere, but here.
Marie nursed herself back to reality, and then reached up into the cupboard to take down her travel bag from the top shelf. A change of clothes, in case she needed to lay low for a while. Phone. Map. Brochure. Tomorrow, she'd be ready.
Because that's the thing about Hope. It's an evil too. Never what you expect, or as straightforward as you'd thought it would be. Kinda like the Cure, she mused, as dawn tiptoed in through her window.
*
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
I really wanted to write light, fluffy smut, but this fic refused to cooperate.
Chapter End Notes:
I wondered whether I should simply post one long chapter, but this seemed to demand a new chapter rather than a simple pause. But because I've been so mean with cliffhangers in the past ... I'm posting them both at once!