A knock on the door pulled Marie from her restless sleep. She squinted against the bright morning light. “Yeah?”
“Open up.” Logan’s voice.
She rubbed her eyes blearily. She had stayed up late, watching for the jet to land back under the basketball court. Even then, she had been unable to sleep, wondering what had happened on the mission, worried that something had gone wrong, that Logan had been hurt...
She pulled the door open a crack. “Don’t you ever sleep?”
He smiled. “Never, darlin’.” He had already showered, his hair a wild damp ruffle. Her heart thumped a little harder at the sight of him.
He looked her up and down, his grin widening. She blushed -- she must look a mess.
“I’ll give you ten minutes,” he said. “Get ready.”
“Wha...”
He beeped his watch, raising an eyebrow. “Nine minutes, fifty-eight seconds...”
She slammed the door in his face, pulling her pajamas off frantically as she headed for the shower.
_____________________
“Where are we going?” she asked, as he practically pulled her down the stairs. She had never seen him so...ebullient. It was making her nervous.
“Breakfast.”
She braced her feet, jerking them to a stop. “You hustled me out of bed just for breakfast?”
He looked back at her impatiently. “There’s something I want you to see. C’mon.”
She reluctantly followed him, until they got to the open door of a noisy cafeteria. She peeked in, and ducked back. “I can’t go in there...it’s too crowded. My skin...”
He was relentless, tugging her towards the door. “It’ll be fine. C’mon, ‘Ro’s saving us seats.”
As much as he had seemed to dismiss her fears he still stood close by her side, the solid bulk of his body automatically blocking others from getting too near as he guided her to the seat.
He sat down across from her, looking smug. Marie looked at Ororo, who was also smiling ear to ear. “What?” Marie asked sharply, feeling like she had been left out of some joke.
Ororo nodded her head at a table behind Logan. Marie looked over at a bunch of kids, eating and laughing. She looked back at Ororo, and Logan, and something in their eyes made her look again, more closely.
“Is that...”
Ororo’s smile, impossibly, widened. “Owen. He got here last night. You found him, Rogue.”
Marie’s eyes were irresistibly drawn back to the boy. He seemed so happy -- at ease, as if he had been at the mansion for years and not hours.
“He’s staying? He doesn’t have parents, or someone to go home to?”
Ororo’s smile faltered. “His mom died last year, and his dad was never around. He was in a series of foster homes, but with his gift...he made people uncomfortable. The last home never even reported him missing until he was due at school two weeks ago.” Her blue eyes snapped with anger. “They collected the checks for an extra two months after he was taken.”
Ororo’s eyes softened as she looked at the table of kids again. “It seems to be the case for a lot of kids whose mutations start before puberty -- Hank believes trauma triggers early activation of the X-gene. Owen’s mutation started with the death of his mother.”
Marie felt the sudden burn of tears at the back of her nose, overwhelmed by a rush of feelings too complex for her to even explain. Pride that she had helped find him. Anger at the people who had abandoned and exploited him. And an odd sense of bitterness and regret.
Owen would be happy here -- she knew it, just looking at him. She found herself wondering what might have happened if she had found this place when her parents first kicked her out. Before life had pushed her around. Before she got so hard, and angry, and bitter.
She looked back at Ororo and Logan. Logan’s mouth was quirked in a little half-smile that suddenly made him look quite young, his eyes warm as they met hers. She avoided his gaze, gripped by a sudden rush of queasiness. She didn’t know how to do this -- this connection to other people. Growing to like them, and rely on them. She didn’t want it. She felt her heart start to beat faster, a creeping panic speeding her pulse.
“Rogue?” Ororo’s voice was soft and kind, almost maternal, and it only made Marie’s panic increase. She felt like something inside her was breaking, some wall that she had created to protect herself was crumbling. Logan’s gaze was concerned now, and she felt a cold sweat break out over her body. She felt as if the eyes of everyone at the table -- everyone in the room -- were focused on her, watching her shatter.
“I’m not hungry,” she managed. She stood up, almost knocking her chair over, clumsy in her desperation to be free of the situation. The room was so crowded and noisy -- it felt like everything was closing in on her. She backed away from the table. Everywhere she turned there were kids -- running, laughing...vulnerable. Bumping carelessly against her, their skin exposed to hers, not even noticing her deadly presence.
She started to hyperventilate, her blood roaring in her ears. She felt like she was struggling through quicksand as she wove through the press of children towards the door. She was suddenly clear, running through the paneled hallways to her room. She slammed and locked the door behind her, pressing her back to it as if it might be broken down at any moment.
What had she been thinking, to come here? To follow Logan so blindly, to a school of all places? To let these people into the life she had so carefully scraped out for herself, a life where she didn’t need anybody and nobody needed her. She had spent six hard years building up these walls -- controlling the voices, brutally suppressing the naive and tender-hearted Marie so that all that was left was Rogue -- tough, wary, Rogue. Rogue was protected from all the hurt and betrayal that had almost destroyed pathetic, dumb Marie. She was safe. Why, in a moment of vulnerability, had she ever given Logan that other name -- the name of that needy, weak girl that she used to be?
She gulped in a deep breath, wrestling with the fear, shoving it down in her mind, armoring herself with the hostility and detachment that she had foolishly allowed to slip over the last few days. Fear and loneliness -- those emotions belonged to Marie. She wasn’t Marie. She was Rogue, and she was strong. She didn’t need anyone to take care of her, and if someone hurt her she would hurt them back double. With that thought burning in her head, she went to find Xavier.
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Chapter End Notes:
Ah, Marie. What is she going to do now? Please review, and let me know what you think! ;-)