Marie had taken such a long shower she was sure she'd managed to drain the hot water heater. Once the liquid hit her back, she'd lost all track of time. No matter how hard she scrubbed or how scalding the water, she couldn't erase the feeling of being sullied. Damaged. Alone. Marie knew that she should want to cry. Maybe even scream. But it seemed that her emotions were as absent as her memories. So she'd stood there, wanting to feel whole and normal but only succeeding in feeling like a stranger in her own body.
When she'd finished, Marie had come to the kitchen to find that Logan had made her some lunch. He looked fairly adorable standing there, looking proud of his culinary skills. She hadn't wanted to disappoint him but she couldn't manage any sort of an appetite. She'd picked at her food until the anticipatory look on Jack's face was too much to take. He happily scarfed down everything on her plate.
Now she sat on the back porch, dressed in Logan's sweatpants, a sweatshirt and wrapped in a blanket. The chilled breeze caressed her face while the rustling of the trees echoed through the air. Hank had been over and given her the go ahead to sleep if she needed to but Marie's mind couldn't rest. She strained, trying recall anything about her life. But no matter what she did, her memories wouldn't go back any further than waking up in that filthy camper.
There were thing she could recollect, random facts like the name of a band or a president. But, as for anything in her own life, she may as well not even exist. Even the sound of her own name on her lips felt foreign to her.
Jack chuffed softly.
Marie looked down to see the dog watching her, his long snout tilted to the side, a silent question on his furry face. She snaked her hand out of the blanket and scratched his head.
"I'm okay, handsome."
He moved closer and dipped his head lower so that Marie could access behind his ears. She smiled. Jack had been her shadow for the last several hours. He'd sat outside the bathroom door during her shower and as soon as she'd emerged, he'd stepped in front of her, sniffing her as if to ensure Marie's scent was still there.
Logan had stayed inside, working on the computer and making phone calls, trying to find anything that might lead to them knowing who she was. He wanted Marie to stay at least for tonight so that he could keep an eye on her. Logan had told her he didn't feel comfortable with her being alone.
Not like she wanted to protest. Marie liked the guy. A lot. Which was stupid considering she had no memory, had just met him and he was probably just being nice to her because that was his job. But his presence made her feel secure and protected. The idea that she would be here in his house…in his bed…gave her a sense of normalcy and belonging. His presence nullified the sense of isolation she felt.
That and she would love to see him naked.
She sighed to herself. Great, not only was she an amnesiac, she was a horny amnesiac.
Marie started to laugh at her twisted thoughts but the sound died on her lips as blinding pain flashed through her head.
"Oh shit."
Marie sat forward and pressed her fingers to her temples. The tendrils of pain wound their way up the back of her neck and made her vision blur. She tried to slow her breathing and calm her rapidly beating heart. God, she wanted to throw up.
Marie heard Jack whine and felt him nuzzle her arm.
"It's fine, Jack. I'm sure it'll pass." She gritted her teeth against another jolt of pain.
Jack chuffed worriedly as Marie began to stand. Maybe it was time she went inside and laid down. Hank had given her some meds in case she needed to sleep. She hoped to hell that they would take the edge off this headache.
As she rose to her feet, blackness began to creep into the edges of her vision. Marie stumbled backwards, reaching for the edge of the chair. Jack barked loudly. She grew more lightheaded and nauseous, feeling her legs grow weak under her. Marie felt herself begin to fall when she heard Logan yelling her name. It sounded so strange and far away; as if he was calling to her from the depths of a tunnel.
Jack continued to bark and whine, as if urging Logan to hurry up. Just before she impacted the wood porch, Marie felt Logan's arms encircle her body. His deep voice was like a salve in her mind.
"I gotcha darlin'."
Logan's strong arms lifted her up and settled her against his chest. Marie could feel the warmth of his skin through his t-shirt. The pounding in her head seemed to lessen as she pressed her cheek into his solid muscles. Maybe she could absorb some of his strength. Maybe he would take all the pain away.
She reared back as the man came toward her, his teeth bared and his eyes blazing with fury. She knew he would hit her without hesitation if she pushed him further but she didn't care. She'd had enough.
Marie gasped as Logan laid her on the bed, wincing away from him as if he were the man from her vague memory. Logan's eyes were both confused and full of concern.
"It's alright Marie. Just me."
She put her head back on the pillow and massaged her temples, wondering if the initial memory might be followed by another. Nothing.
"I…I remembered something."
"Whatever it was it didn't seem good."
He moved closer and sat down next to her on the bed, his hand brushing the hair away from her face. Oh, god, his touch was almost enough to make her forget about the pounding in her head. Marie looked up into his eyes, her breath stalling again in her throat. Logan wasn't what you would call a 'pretty' man. There was a roughness to his looks that many women would find unrefined…intimidating. But his sincerity and strength made him incredibly attractive to Marie. It didn't hurt that he was built like a Mack Truck either.
The man in her memory was built well too. She shivered.
"There was a guy. He was going to hurt me."
She heard Logan's breath catch.
"You remember who he was?"
"No. I just saw the moment. Felt the emotions. It had happened before, though. That much I know."
He sat quietly by her side but his calmness belied his anger. She watched has his jaw clenched with tension.
"I'm sorry, Logan. I could be bringing you a lot of trouble here."
He caught her gaze.
"Stop it. You're not doing anything."
"Not intentionally. But I wouldn't forgive myself if you got put in the middle of some dangerous situation."
"And I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't put myself between you and that dangerous situation."
"Logan…"
"Stop it, Marie."
"No, I'm serious…"
"Marie, no one is gonna hurt you. You hear me?"
"But…"
"No." Logan's eyes almost seem to grow darker with intensity. It made her shudder.
"As long as you're with me, no one is going to get near you."
Jack woofed in agreement.
For the first time since she'd come to early that morning, Marie had hope.
"Alright. I surrender."
Marie managed a smile and put her hand on his chest, patting it lightly as if to say that everything was fine. She would have sworn Logan actually growled at her touch. As she moved her fingers, she felt something underneath Logan's shirt. Her eyes traveled to his neck…that muscular, perfect neck…and saw a silver chain. He didn't react as Marie gently grasped the metal and pulled. She watched as the small, rectangular shapes emerged from underneath the material. They were dog tags. She reverently traced the letters with her fingers.
The name on the tags wasn't James Logan. They read Wolverine.
"Were you in the army? Don't…don't those mean you were in the army?" She tried to look into his eyes, but found that he was staring down and away from her. She'd crossed some line.
"I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't mean to pry."
"It's alright." He took the tags into his hand and clenched his fist. "I should take them off, but they're a reminder of a past I'd rather forget."
Now that made her laugh.
"You want to forget your past and I want to remember. We're kind of a cosmic joke."
At least that made Logan smile.
"How's your head?"
"Better."
Logan stood up and motioned to the other room.
"I'll get you something for it."
"No, I think I'll be okay if I just get some sleep."
"You sure? Hank left us a mini pharmacy out there."
"Yeah, thanks though. I'll let you know if I change my mind."
"Then you should get some rest. I'll check in on you in a little bit."
Jack took the lull in conversation as an invitation and jumped up on the bed. Marie couldn't help but chuckle at how he made himself at home and curled up next to her, not missing the opportunity to give her a gentle lick on the cheek before he finally settled down.
"I guess I don't need another blanket with the canine cuddler here."
"Well, I'll bring you one anyway."
Logan started to exit the room but stopped as Marie spoke.
"Hey, Logan. Thank you."
His mouth turned up in a lopsided smile. She hadn't thought he could be more gorgeous…she was wrong.
"You're welcome."
Logan left and Marie turned on her side, putting her arm over Jack's flank. He growled happily and Marie smiled as she closed her eyes. Just a few hours earlier she'd felt alone and adrift. While she still felt like her world was askew, she didn't feel as though she had to go through this on her own. Maybe when all was said and done there would be a chance for…something.
As she fell to sleep, she prayed that something wouldn't include the man from her vision.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Some Marie POV here, gang. Sorry for the delay. Life/work got crazy and, well, Mass Effect 3 came out. :p This is my last 'setup' chapter before things get really interesting. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter End Notes:
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