CHAPTER 18 - Voices
When she was in Detroit, four months after her parents had turned their backs on her, four months after she'd lost pretty much any hope of ever having human contact again, she'd struggled to keep herself warm, let alone fed. It hadn't occurred to her yet that there were more demons in this world than she would have ever thought possible.
She'd learned from that disgusting trucker not to hitchhike with men that looked at her that way. She'd learned from those awful nurses never to expect kindness from those who were supposed to be the kindest. She'd been about to learn a whole lot more.
She'd tried to get work. Tried to be a waitress, a cleaning lady, anything. But one thing was made real clear, real fast. If anyone so much as suspected why she wore gloves, the game was up. It made for very short employment. Not that it mattered, no one paid minimum wage when you couldn't even provide a full name with SSN. Was no one honest?
She'd found shelter in an old GM warehouse. There were at least fifteen to twenty kids there on any given night, mostly around her age, some older...some younger. And for every dead-eyed teen there were two salivating drug-pushers.
The others stayed close for warmth, for survival. She'd stayed on the fringes, fingers and lips blue despite the layers and layers of clothing she wore. They'd used old metal barrels to make fires to warm themselves. The heat would mostly disappear before you could even feel it touch you. But anything was better than nothing.
Except for Trip. She didn't think anything could be worse than him. Everyone knew his name. He was one of the neighborhood drug-dealers. He didn't sell on the street himself, just distributed to his people and collected the profits. Normally, you'd never see that guy, the one running the drugs. But Trip didn't let his people deal with the problems. He liked doing it himself. If there was a debt, he went after it, a sneer across his face. She'd turned her head a number of times when he'd beaten up a few of the regular users staying at the warehouse. He'd beat them senseless and then, switchblade to a throat, would threaten to kill them if they didn't get the money by the next day.
Two of the girls she knew whored themselves out those nights for the first time to come up with the money to pay him.
She vowed that when she got out of there, she'd never have to see or think of him again.
They'd made the meeting with a suspected illegal 'cure' dealer, one pushing fake cures on desperate mutants too scared to come out publicly with their 'disease'. The bastard had been selling antifreeze in needles. A few mutants had already died, others ending up in hospitals from the poisonous doses they'd injected straight into their bloodstream.
He'd tried to run and Logan had eviscerated him with a satisfied growl when they'd cornered him by the river and he'd sneered disgusting anti-mutant sentiments. Figures, she thought sardonically. Everything was always about hate.
They walked back to the bike in silence. She was not amused. In street gear, they'd attempted to get information from him without bringing the Xavier name to the table. It hadn't worked, obviously.
“You know,” she said angrily. “You didn't have to kill him.” He looked at her and snorted. She couldn't hold her tongue. “You could have just taken off a limb or something, Logan. You can't gut everyone who smells like that. You're going to have to get over it sooner or later.”
His eyebrows flew up as he pulled his riding gloves on, not to protect him in case of an accident, but to keep his hands warm. It was November in New York after all. “You smelled that?”
She nodded, eyebrows raised. “Hard to miss. Even without the roaming eyes and nasty smile on his face.” Ick. He'd looked at her like Big Sam had. It made her want to throw up in her mouth.
“Little shit was a drug pusher, Marie. Didn't need more reason than that. The fact that he was practically coming in his pants with what was probably the first clean female he's seen in months was just an added bonus.”
She rolled her tongue around in her mouth. “Yeah.” She turned away to pull on her own gloves when she noticed the bag behind the tree near where they had met up with the guy. “Logan.” He looked up from pulling out her helmet. “What's that?”
His eyes narrowed in on where she'd pointed and he made a noise of acknowledgment that he saw it too. He placed the helmet on the seat and walked over to overgrown tree and bushes and yanked out the sack. Its top must not have been closed correctly because its contents spilled out.
Logan's eyebrows shot up. Marie pressed her lips together.
“Motherload,” Logan said.
Dozens of small packages splayed out on the ground, along with a number of needles and larger bags filled with white chunks. There were cartridges like the ones she'd used on Magneto and a couple of bags with pills. It was...a lot of drugs.
Marie pulled her phone out from her back pocket and flipped it open. “This is going to be a really big hassle.” She scrolled down to 'Ro's number and hit dial, bringing the ringing line up to her ear. “Get comfortable, Sugah. We may be here awhile.”
He grunted and nudged the bag with the tip of his boot. It couldn't have been a pleasant smell for him, she thought. All those chemicals must be playing havoc on his senses. She heard the phone click.
“Rogue? Is everything alright?”
Marie smiled. The gentle leader was always worried, even when there was no need.
“Yeah, we're fine. Listen. We ran into some complications. The dealer? He's uhh, not going to be a problem anymore.”
“Anymore?” was her response. It took a few seconds before she answered again. “I see.”
“Yeah,” Marie said nodding. “There's more. We found his pack on the way back to the bike. It's full of drugs. We're gonna need to get rid of it.”
She could imagine 'Ro on the other end, nodding quietly. “I understand. Let me get you in contact with a friend of the Professor’s. He should be able to help you. I'll have him give this number a call in a few minutes.”
Logan grumbled from his chosen spot leaning against a tree. “Can't we just throw it in the river or something?” Marie smiled at him. No need for speakerphone with Logan around.
She mouthed the word 'no.' and he grunted, thoroughly peeved. She got back to the conversation. “Right. We'll wait here. Bye.” She closed her phone and shoved it in her pocket.
She walked over to him, smiling. “You'd poison all those poor fish?”
He snorted. “It's the fuckin' Hudson River, Marie. You stick your foot in and you just might grow a second head. This shit ain't gonna do a bit of difference.”
She raised her brows and tilted her head as a quick acquiescence to his statement. “You know 'Ro. She'll want it properly disposed of.”
He grinned. She figured out he was up to something a second too late. He reached out and snatched her belt loop in his finger, pulling her up against him. “Got some time, then,” he growled and bent down to nuzzle her neck.
She sighed at his warm breath. “I was gettin' a little cold there.”
“I can fix that,” was his reply. He wrapped a hand around her back and dragged her up against him. Heat. Glorious heat. God, he was an oven. She laughed.
“How are you always so warm?”
He grinned and bit at her collar bone, gently moving the chain of her necklace out of the way. “'Cause I'm always thinkin' about bein' inside you,” he rumbled.
His words made her shiver. “That must make for a lot of uncomfortable moments,” she breathed.
“You have no idea.” He left her shoulder to capture her mouth in a searing kiss.
The sound of her phone going off in her back pocket broke them apart. Logan cursed the bad timing and she couldn't help but smile.
With a shaky hand, she opened her phone and pressed it to her ear. “Yes?”
“Is this Rogue?”
“This is she.”
“This is Detective Rogers from NYPD narcotics. Ororo called me.”
“Yes.”
“I received information that you have come upon some illegal narcotics.”
“Sure have. Would like to get rid of it, too. Fast.”
“I understand. Can I have the location?”
Marie related their location and noticed Logan grumbling, shifting himself uncomfortably. She grinned.
“Got it,” Det. Rogers said. “Can I get a brief description of what you've found? You don't need to know exactly, but it will help me know what to bring if you can describe it for me.”
“It looks like at least 40 or 50 bindles, good size, maybe eightballs. But in crap paper, so it's probably moist from the ground. Couple hundred count of X, too.” She bent down to nudge one of the cartridges aside to get a better look at the Crystal. “Some Meth, but none of it Ice. And....looks like some cure cartridges laced with antifreeze.”
There was long pause on the line. Finally he said, “You know your shit.”
She felt a sudden rush of dread take over. She swallowed hard, trying to figure out why she was so nervous. “Yeah, well...lucky for you.”
He laughed. “Guess so. Okay, give us thirty minutes.” The line went dead.
She sighed and stood up, clapping the phone shut with aggravation and shoving it in her back pocket. Why was she on edge? She looked up to see Logan staring at her, eyes feral and furious.
“You got his fuckin' memories.”
The feeling of dread sank down to utter panic.
Oh, shit.
She bit her lip. What was she going to say? He knew the truth. He wasn't stupid. He knew how her mutation worked. When she didn't have control, back then, if she touched someone without warning, she got their thoughts, their emotions, everything on the surface. It took a good long pull to get memories, mannerisms, and knowledge. He knew the only way she could have known everything there was to know about the drugs was if she'd gotten the memories from somewhere, from someone. Trip.
She didn't want to think about this, much less talk about it. “It happened. It's over.”
He shoved off the tree and walked right up to her face. “How much?”
She let out a breath. “Logan, when I say it's over, it's over.” She didn't want to think about this.
“How much of that fuckin' prick did you get?” He was growling at her.
She set her jaw, staring him straight in the eyes. Fine. “All of it.”
He hadn't expected that. He flinched back violently, his eyes filling with horror. “Marie...”
She felt the anger well up. “Don't.” She said furiously. “It's over.”
He ran his hands through his hair and clenched his eyes in frustration. He tried to hold back a roar of fury and failed. She waited for him to calm down some.
“You finished?” She asked.
He was breathing hard, trying to control himself. He walked back up to her, his eyes pleading. “Tell me.”
“Why do you want to know?” She couldn't imagine anyone wanting to know all the nasty details.
“Because.” He ground out. “I want to know how bad he hurt you. I want to know what happened, Marie. It doesn't change how I feel about you. But I want to fuckin' know.” He took a deep breath. “Did he rape you?” She could see the trembling in his hands. It really cost him to ask.
She could hardly take a breath. “He sure as hell tried.”
”Bitch!” he screamed into her ear. “You think you're some kinda prissy princess?” He shoved her harder into the fence. The snapped edges cut painfully into her skin. She struggled under his grasp. “You're nothin' but a two-bit whore, you fuckin' slut!” He hit the back of her head, hard. She nearly blacked out.
When her vision cleared, Trip was struggling behind her. “Stop...” she said weakly, trying to keep from vomiting. “Stop!” She screamed.
“Shut the fuck up, slut!” He screamed. She felt him struggle with her pants. God, he was gonna actually touch her, she'd have him in her head. Like Big Sam, but worse, much worse. He had her pants down and started struggling with his own pants. “You're gonna get it now you fuckin' bitch. Think you can just ruin my shit and not pay.” He was mumbling, distracted with trying to get himself out of his baggy jeans. She jerked back to push him away but he shoved her to the dirty ground, shoving her face into the wet freezing snow. He pushed himself against her, trying to find her opening. She squeezed her eyes and waited.
The pull kicked in and he gagged. Everything rushed in. The fury, the hate, the arousal. God, no. His frozen form above her jerked and fell atop her back. He was so heavy. She was getting more. It was coming so fast. His last drug deals. His stash. His connections. The last girl he'd fucked, screaming in the back of a club for help while he buried himself into her from behind. Her cries of pain turned him on, turned Marie on.
NO!
She shoved and crawled away, trying to get out from under him. His brother had been shot when he was fourteen, a drive-by. Trip had hidden behind a trashcan in the lawn, cowering. His favorite superhero as a child, Superman.
The pull died away as she finally pulled herself out from under him. She shoved herself up to her feet, pulling up her panties and pants, crying hysterically. He lay there, eyes vacant. She ran.
When she shakily stopped her words, stopped her story, she realized she was staring at the ground again. He wanted the truth. Wanted to know. Well, there you had it.
“It took two weeks for me to stop leering at every girl that walked by, trying to imagine tearing her up from the inside out. That was the worst, I think.”
She finally looked up. His jaw was clenched tight. His eyes hard. “You wanted to know,” she offered desperately. “It's not like I lied, Logan. I just...No one likes to talk about stuff like that.”
“I know.” He was looking at her so intensely. “I wish you would have told me, before we...” He cut himself off and he looked away.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Before we what?”
He cleared his throat. “Before we were together. Before we made love. I woulda...I dunno. Done it differently.”
That was a disturbing thought. “Why? I loved that first time. It was...everything I could have hoped for.” She smiled shyly. “And more.”
He reached for her and stroked her face. He smiled sadly. “I'm sorry. About that happenin’ to you.”
She shrugged. She liked to leave those things in the past.
He almost grinned. There was more. “What, Logan?”
“He dead?”
She sighed. “No. But I don't think he's ever going to take a breath without a breathing tube again. I got more from him than even Cody. He's probably a vegetable.”
He nodded. Satisfied. “Makes sense.”
“What does?”
He smiled. “Why you were able to hotwire the truck so damn fast. Bastard actually came in handy.”
She laughed and tapped the side of her head. “Got a couple lifetime's worth of unscrupulous information up here. Between everyone combined...” She wasn't going to put the three names together. Trip, Erik and Logan. His name didn't belong with the other two. “...I know way too much illegal stuff.”
He laughed and kissed her lips softly. When he pulled away his head turned to the street. “Cops comin'.” She looked over and saw the flashes of light.
XXX
Jubilee threw her copy of “Drift and Mastery” across the library. “This just sucks.”
Marie smiled. “Exams are in two weeks Jubes. You can't give up now.” She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Jubes more or herself. “Then we get a whole month off. Keep your head up.”
Jubes stuck her tongue out at the offending book laying across the floor. “My head is gonna explode from so much higher level thinking. I wasn't made for this.”
“What's going on, Jubes? You're not usually like this.” It was true. Jubilee may have been a gum-smacking smart-ass, but she was also a stellar student.
She sighed. “Girl, life's just coming too fast for me, that's all.”
Marie pulled her foot up and tucked her chin onto her knee. “That's odd of you to say. What brings this on?
Jubes tugged on her yellow sleeve. “Lot of things going on the last few years, you know. Just started thinking about it and it just...sort of overwhelmed me, ya know?”
Marie nodded. “Like what?”
She picked at the sleeve in irritation. “I used to get nightmares. About the pit.” Marie flinched. God, the pit. That was a memory she tried to bury underneath all the other bad memories. Even under Trip.
She could barely get the words out past her suddenly dry throat. “Ya. I remember. Took a couple of months for them to go away.”
Jubes nodded. “They came back, a while ago. I couldn't sleep. Had a rough time.”
Marie scrunched her nose. “You didn't say anything?” That was unlike Jubes. But then again, this was a pretty difficult thing to talk about. “I wish you would have.”
Jubes nodded. “I know.” She smacked her gum. “I had...other...outlets. Remy, mostly.”
Marie's pencil dropped from her hand. “Remy? You and Remy? But I thought...”
Jubes snorted. “Yeah, he was with 'Ro for a while. But we all knew, including her, that Remy wasn't a one-woman kinda guy. He's a player, Rogue. Nobody's been kidding themselves where he's concerned.”
Rogue sat back. “So...you were screwin' around with Remy to not think about the Pit.”
Jubes nodded. “It worked for a while, you know. But eventually, I started dreaming again.” She sighed. “You know what I remember most?”
Marie's heart skipped a beat. She didn't think she wanted to hear this.
“I remember the arm bands, you know. The different colored arm bands.”
Marie closed her eyes. The memory flooded her. Bodies, young and old. Some so old. Some....God, so young. Children. Shot through the head. All of them. They all wore the same issued clothing. Medical scrub pants and white shirts. No shoes. Only different colored bands around their arms. Some were missing, but most had them. Different colors. Red. Black. Blue. Yellow...labels.
'Labeled for extermination' Erik whispered. 'Marked.'
She stood up abruptly and ran out of the room. She covered her mouth to try and keep the vomit in until she got to the bathroom but she didn't make it. She threw her body out one of the emergency doors and wretched in a large trashcan. God, she'd had spaghetti for dinner. It tasted awful coming back up.
'What are you trying to ignore, my dear?' The smell of rot or the sight of labeled rats?'
“Chica, you okay?” Jubes peeked out through the door.
More vomit made its way up again and she choked on the disgusting stuff. 'This is our future, my dear. To be labeled and be put down like dogs.' He was getting louder in her head.
“Shut up, Erik!” She spat.
“Rogue?” Jubes voice held a note of alarm.
'You think you can silence my voice when you know everything I say is true?'
Marie pressed the base of her palms into her eyes.
“Just go away.”
Jubes grabbed her arm. “I'm gonna go get Logan.” Marie tried to push him away, down, down, all the way down. Into the box in her head she'd labeled 'trash'.
'That's not going to work.' He pushed. 'I'm not some human. You can't silence me the way you can silence those insects.'
Why was this happening now? He'd been so quiet for the longest time. “Just...leave me alone,” she whimpered. She grabbed for the railing at the top of the steps and missed. She felt herself heave forward and air rushed past her. She didn't have time to open her eyes in surprise when she felt the sidewalk slam into her.
She heard a sickening crack in her arm. Pain rushed through her and she felt Erik retreat, back into his box.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
OK...So I had to post tonight. I really wanted to. This chapter is PACKED with plot. Sorry if you miss the smut though. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
As always, snaps to my BETA doctorg! I hope you enjoyed and look forward to another chapter, coming VERY soon! REVIEW!!! I love REVIEWS!